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[备考小组] 14 年秋季提纲互改小组-issue 3/137 [复制链接]

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-9 21:35:10 |显示全部楼层
lisa_C 发表于 2014-11-9 21:24
去看了思想实验,顺便把整个6分帖都翻了一遍,受到不少启发,希望能在练习中落实^^

3) Educational i ...


I agree that educational institutions should dissuade students from pursuing majors in which they may not succeed as doing so would not only ensure students to enjoy their college life and pursue a successful career. It can also benefit the economic development of the society.  While some may suspect whether educational institutions have the ability to make reasonable decision for every student, educational institutions should increase its effort and resources to help students fully utilize their potential and the educational resources.

我觉得尝试修改是应该的
whether educational institutions have the ability to make reasonable decision  这里我觉得说得不够具体 不如直接说 whether educational institutions have the ability to accurately predict the future success of students in any given field  然后你就可以说一下教育机构可以通过观察个人过往的表现以及大数据来作出预测

关于你受到的启发 可否抽空书面从你的角度总结一下  对大家都有好处 也不着急~~

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发表于 2014-11-10 17:24:05 |显示全部楼层
第一次写。。。水平好低感觉。。写的慢。。
老师看看咯。谢啦。
Education institutions,where students accept educations and discover their potentials,do have the capacity to decide which field the students should study,but also have the duty lead the students to achieve their objectives,rather than stop them just by the reason that the field is unlikely to be studied.

One point need be mentioned is that the instructor must dissuade even ban students from pursuing fields which is illegal and detrimental to themselves.The geniuses in fields like clone,nuclear or weapon must observe corresponding protocol so to defend the safety of the society and human being while these students hardly realize this.

However,three problems come out through the suggestion.First,the method or standard which the institutions judge students are unlikely to succeed by is still unknown,so they can't make accurate judgments saying the field isn't evolvable.Secondly,The knowledge in one field is infinite,anyone can't assert one field is saturated so that continually studying in the field will be futile.The ancient people may not know the exiting of calculus or calculative convenience by matrix,and if they dissuade the people who keep studying the field,we mayn't know these too,and there will not be any new discoveries.Third,the behavior of dissuading may prevent the brilliance of excellent geniuses.Like Steve Jobs,Frank White,many people dropped out to achieve their dreams and study the field what they truly longed for by themselves without the preventing of the education institutions,and they succeeded.

The teachers have more knowledge and experience than our students.In the usual courses,students can get more information about varied fields by the instrument of teachers,for comprehending which field is accessible and not forbidden in the moral and legal.Teacher can also courage and lead the students to dig into one field via offer as much detailed and profound knowledge as they know.

To summarize,in the road to learning,teachers are our rev beacons,guiding us the right path,while we are small boats,loss of directions.The process may be filled with storm,but once we try,we can reach the destination which is full of sunlight.The unknown is waiting us to excavate them.Accordingly,education institutions need to give the students enough helps and instruments by the proper way,minimize the cost and maximize rate of succeeding of the students.

没有什么难词,因为自己也实在是没有怎么用过。。距离考试还有11天,只能尽量熟悉题了。不求高分。求3就好。。

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-13 01:27:29 |显示全部楼层
sxk183393 发表于 2014-11-10 17:24
第一次写。。。水平好低感觉。。写的慢。。
老师看看咯。谢啦。
Education institutions,where students  ...

建议你尝试一下1+3的写法吧  写全文前先列提纲这是最基本的 没想好就写是很痛苦的

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US-applicant

发表于 2014-11-17 21:21:37 |显示全部楼层
Issue3: Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position



The author claim that educational institutions should be responsible for discourage students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. While educational institutions have some specialized knowledge and could offer some advantageous advice and information for the students, it is unrealistic that they could know exactly, in specific field of study, who will achieve success ultimately. Furthermore, the conception of success varied from people to people. One may argue that some performance indicators will tell students’ potential during the study, nevertheless, I will demonstrate a week link between above two issues.

Admittedly, it is the educational institutions’ response to offer some advantageous advice and information for the students.因为教育机构对于每个领域都会有一定的专业知识,可以在学生困惑于专业选择问题的时候给予指导,告诉学生各种专业的就业情况,将来可能面临的挑战。并且,它可以通过一些专业调查手段,对于学生的学习情况作出评估,并反馈给学生做参考。

However, the assumption that educational institutions could know which student will achieve success ultimately is unrealistic. 成功需要毅力和运气,早期的学习表现的好坏与后期能否成功之间没有必然联系。一份卡内基基金会的报告显示,仅有30%的杰出教授,医生,律师在早年学习的时候表现优越,大部分人都是平凡无奇的。中国的教育机构也得出过12名现象,即日后事业成功,拥有比较客观财富的人往往是班里排名12名左右的人。如果一开始因为他们表现差而被教育机构劝阻学习,那他们不一定会取得后来的成功。Furthermore, the conception of success varied from people to people. 如果有的人他学习某个领域,他的表现一般,所带来的经济回报也不多,但感到很快乐,这为何不是一种成功呢?如果教育机构需要判断一个学生在特定领域将来能否成功,以什么为标准呢?  谁赚钱的潜力更大? 所以这是不切实际的。

One may argue that some performance indicators, such as GPA, will tell students’ potential during the study. While the link between the above two is week.不错,GPA等表现指标确实能说明学生在特定领域的学习和研究潜力。但是,成功需要坚持不懈的努力,对于评价一个人,那现代来推演将来是不明智的。我的小学同学X,以前一直是个混混,高中门门红灯,老师们都劝他早点去学们手艺养家糊口去算了。但是有一天他突然意识到自己对天文学的热爱,通过社区大学学习,现在竟然去耶鲁读书了,还是全奖。你说当初他如果听老师的话,现在估计还是一个混混。

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2014-11-17 21:48:13 |显示全部楼层
aiyin 发表于 2014-11-17 21:21
Issue3: Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of  ...

Issue3: Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position


The author claim that educational institutions should be responsible for discourage students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. While educational institutions have some specialized knowledge and could offer some advantageous advice and information for the students, it is unrealistic that they could know exactly, in specific field of study, who will achieve success ultimately. Furthermore, the conception of success varied from people to people. One may argue that some performance indicators will tell students’ potential during the study, nevertheless, I will demonstrate a week link between above two issues.

for后面要跟动名词
advantageous advice 搭配有问题
issue选词有问题


it is unrealistic that they could know exactly, in specific field of study, who will achieve success ultimately.这个说法和题目的说法不太一样  我未必知道你肯定可以在哪个领域成功 但我可能知道你在哪个领域肯定不成功哦


Admittedly, it is the educational institutions’ response to offer some advantageous advice and information for the students.因为教育机构对于每个领域都会有一定的专业知识,可以在学生困惑于专业选择问题的时候给予指导,告诉学生各种专业的就业情况,将来可能 面临的挑战。并且,它可以通过一些专业调查手段,对于学生的学习情况作出评估,并反馈给学生做参考。

这段话对于全文的贡献很小 或者说不够切题
这样的让步有点不痛不痒的感觉


However, the assumption that educational institutions could know which student will achieve success ultimately is unrealistic. 成功需要毅力和运气,早期的学习表现的好坏与后期能否成功之间没有必然联系。一份卡内基基金会的报告显示,仅有30%的杰出教授,医生,律师在早年学习的 时候表现优越,大部分人都是平凡无奇的。中国的教育机构也得出过12名现象,即日后事业成功,拥有比较客观财富的人往往是班里排名12名左右的人。如果一 开始因为他们表现差而被教育机构劝阻学习,那他们不一定会取得后来的成功。Furthermore, the conception of success varied from people to people. 如果有的人他学习某个领域,他的表现一般,所带来的经济回报也不多,但感到很快乐,这为何不是一种成功呢?如果教育机构需要判断一个学生在特定领域将来能 否成功,以什么为标准呢?  谁赚钱的潜力更大? 所以这是不切实际的。


前面已经说了 你对题目的理解和诠释有偏差
关于成功的定义问题 可以考虑另外开一段来写 像这样写 会出现一段的内容太复杂不够统一的问题
而且我觉得这里纠结成功的定义不太合适 因为在教育的语境下 成功的定义是有客观理解的  



One may argue that some performance indicators, such as GPA, will tell students’ potential during the study. While the link between the above two is week.不错,GPA等表现指标确实能说明学生在特定领域的学习和研究潜力。但是,成功需要坚持不懈的努力,对于评价一个人,那现代来推演将来是不明智 的。我的小学同学X,以前一直是个混混,高中门门红灯,老师们都劝他早点去学们手艺养家糊口去算了。但是有一天他突然意识到自己对天文学的热爱,通过社区 大学学习,现在竟然去耶鲁读书了,还是全奖。你说当初他如果听老师的话,现在估计还是一个混混。



while后面跟的是从句
这一段的例子也有点离题


寄托GRE考生背景调查

以前是否考过GRE作文,分数如何?托福作文?

下次考试日期? 考前还可以写多少道题的提纲和全文?  

期待的分数?

谈谈对1+3模型的看法。

觉得自己的issue和argument最大的问题分别是什么?

对于我的指导有何期待或要求?

对于我在版面针对其他同学的批改、指导有何意见?


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发表于 2014-12-10 23:28:31 |显示全部楼层
    TS
    The speaker claims that educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. In reality, more authorities should be left to students, base upon their recognitions and interests, to decide which fields they wanna step into.

     ts1
     Usually students would have clearer recognitions about the trends of fields of study they are facing to choose than institutional staffs and professors, which are not always so proficient in every fields, and thus would made better decisions about fields chose. 比如,医院校里面,每一门学科的教授确实是对其学科非常专业,甚至有时知识针对一门学科的部分知识、技术,而面对庞大的医学,其不可能面面俱到,而学生们,在起步阶段在面临选择时,往往对每一门专业知识都略懂一二,由此对整体的评价也会更全面些,会清楚哪门学科的哪些部分会相对更好突破些。
   
    ts2
    It would be more critical to leave the freedom to students to base their own interests to chose their future research directions. 兴趣是最关键的,有了兴趣,,能够更加积极的投入,做任何事情都会事半功倍,同时,能够更加有勇气的去面对各种挫折、挑战,能坚持不懈,还有什么干不好的呢。

    ts3
    Some people may argues that it would be so sorry if students have wasted so much time and energy but achieve nothing in fields which they have interests but are unlikely to succeed originally. 实际上,学生的对哪方面感兴趣,谁也说不清,任何人也没法确定说某人就一定在某方面没有出息。比如,计算机,老师会觉得对于一个学生那没问,但因为感兴趣,学生去试了去做了,虽然失败了很多次,但因为兴趣的存在,每一次的失败都是一种学习积累,能够更清楚的看清形势,同时,更不会失去信心,那么,谁能保证这学生这一辈子就不会在计算机上有所作为呢?而且TA还过得很快乐。

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发表于 2018-3-22 19:08:19 |显示全部楼层
感谢分享!!

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RE: 14 年秋季提纲互改小组-issue 3/137 [修改]
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