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[未归类] issue120 求批改 3.29考 [复制链接]

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发表于 2015-3-26 20:52:48 |显示全部楼层
120. Claim: The surest indicator of a great nation must be the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists.
Reason: Great achievements by a nation's rulers, artists, or scientists will ensure a good life for the majority of that nation's people.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

Issue 120

The reasoning and statement expresses that the surest indicator of a great nation must be the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientist since great achievements achieved by them will ensure a good life for the majority of the nation’s people. However, the reason doesn’t take account of the complexity of these achievements. Thus the claim is not properly drawn. In my view, a great nation should ensure the general welfare of its people and have many achievements of rulers, artists and scientists at the same time.

Admittedly, most great achievements attained by rulers, artists and scientists can improve the living standard of the majority of people in the country. Consequently, the achievement of them is a very important indicator. Rulers can keep the order in the country and improve the efficiency of everyday life. Artists in the country compose beautiful music or create vivid painting to entertain people. Scientists make breakthroughs and invent new technology to make people’s life more convenient. It is by these achievements that the general welfare of people is improved. A great nation must highlight such feat.

However, great achievements by a nation’s rulers, artists or scientists cannot ensure the welfare of the majority. The achievement of rulers is various. On the one hand, if the ruler managed to make peace with all hostile countries, then the achievement can ensure a good life of its people. On the other hand, if the ruler wages a war, then even if he gained victory, it may still be a disaster to the majority of its people. Similarly, the achievements of an artist may be appreciated only by a few elites rather than the public. The work of a scientist may only be used to entertain a few wealthy persons. In these cases, the great achievements by a nation’s rulers, artists or scientists cannot ensure a good life for the majority of the nation’s people.

Furthermore, a country that only cares about the achievements of rulers, artists and scientists may collapse due to the rebellion of the majority. Ordinary people are the majority in any country. If the country ignores their welfare, they will probably overthrow the government. For example, in the ancient China, the government only cares the achievement of the emperor and a few important chancellors. As a result, the government was overthrown every a few hundred years. This shows that a great country must protect people’s welfare.

In conclusion, a great nation needs not only to have great achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists but also to ensure the general welfare of the majority of its people. A nation that only focuses on the former will lose the support of the majority of its people while a country that only underlines the latter will not have many achievements.
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发表于 2015-3-27 20:01:20 |显示全部楼层
第4段感觉偏题了……题目说是:判断一个国家是否伟大的最适宜的标志,是我们第三者去评估国家  而你的第四段却写了 国家对3类人的重视以及对大多数人民的不重视,这并不是我们第三方的判断,所以感觉有些偏。
换成: 判断一个国家是否伟大应该还有其他适宜的标志,比如综合国力等等……

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发表于 2015-4-10 13:13:19 |显示全部楼层
同意楼上。

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RE: issue120 求批改 3.29考 [修改]
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issue120 求批改 3.29考
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