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[a习作temp] 求新GRE的一篇ARGUMENT写作提纲 [复制链接]

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发表于 2015-8-8 18:20:30 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
[The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.]”In our
region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students
attend—the city-run public schools—comes from taxes that each city government collects.
The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education.
For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson
City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public
schools—even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly,
Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools
than Blue City residents do." [Specific Task Instruction: Write a response in which you
discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the
evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.]
题目翻译   以下文字出自于寄给 Parson 市当地报纸主编的一封信:“在 Trillura 地区的每个城市,大部分
学生就读的政府经营的公立学校的教育开支大部分都是从政府征收的税收而来的。然而,该地区不同城市
对公共教育的预算优先度来说是不同的。例如,尽管拥有几乎相同数量的居民,但不管从占所有税收的比
例还是绝对数字上看,Parson 市用于公立学校的预算最近已将达到了 Blue 市的两倍。很明显,Parson 市
的居民比 Blue 市居民更致力于提供好的公立学校教育。”


目前只能找到两个错误
1:花钱多了不一定表明重视,还有很多因素
2:花钱多了不代表投入多,因为学校人数不定


求还有其他的点么?
难道是 类比错误,两地之间没法比较??貌似不是
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沙发
发表于 2015-8-8 18:36:31 |只看该作者
Conclusion: Parson City residents value good public school education more than Blue city
residents

information about the spending records in the past 10 years
- maybe Parson spent much less in the past but increased its spending only more recently
- the money spent by Parson was for infrastructure that would not be recurrent (the expense will decrease once the projects are completed)

information about spending per student and spending per teacher
- maybe the demographic structures of the two cities are different
- Blue may spend more money per student  

to what extent the quality of education depends on the amount of money
- maybe Blue’s funding is sufficient; extra money may not be helpful
- other factors may be more relevant; parents’ participation in PTA; libraries and other facilities for students

to what extent the residents could influence how money is spent
- maybe the residents are not heavily involved in negotiating the budgets  

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板凳
发表于 2015-8-9 22:10:48 |只看该作者
tesolchina 发表于 2015-8-8 18:36
Conclusion: Parson City residents value good public school education more than Blue city
residents  ...

老师你好,
你说的四点
1:证据是十年前的
2:每个学生不一样
3:可能根本不需要这么多
4:市民以为不重要,不能得出结论
但是
第一点,文中没有说是ten years ago啊

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

地板
发表于 2015-8-9 22:15:31 |只看该作者
朔夕茂 发表于 2015-8-9 22:10
老师你好,
你说的四点
1:证据是十年前的

我说的是过去十年 就是要看更完整的画面  而不是只考虑一年的数据
第二点是平均花在每个学生和老师身上的钱 而不是只看总量  
第四点说的是居民对预算的影响力

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发表于 2015-8-9 22:21:24 |只看该作者
tesolchina 发表于 2015-8-9 22:15
我说的是过去十年 就是要看更完整的画面  而不是只考虑一年的数据
第二点是平均花在每个学生和老师身上 ...

好的 明白了  谢谢啦 很感激

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发表于 2015-8-16 02:56:45 |只看该作者
谢谢

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RE: 求新GRE的一篇ARGUMENT写作提纲 [修改]
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求新GRE的一篇ARGUMENT写作提纲
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