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[作文] 机经独立写作审题分析~大家没时间改作文可以过来分析一下审题啊 [复制链接]

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发表于 2015-10-23 15:37:53 |显示全部楼层
最近在用机经练习独立写作,关于一些题目的审题,怎么写感到有点困惑……

机经题目:
During an economic crisis, governments usually reduce spending on certain public services. Which do you think the governments should reduce spending on?
1)        Education  2)Health care  3) support for the unemployed


这个题目应该怎么写呢?我在新东方的微信上看到一个解题思路:

3选1题目,选择少投资到失业者

1.论点:投资教育对于政府来说是首要任务之一。解释:教育质量的高低决定了这个国家年轻一代是否能够有较高的文化水以及是否能够培养足够多样化的能力。引出:从无数政府大力投资教育就能看出来投资教育的重要性。分析:美国政府最近几年一直在进行教育方面的改革,大力的提升基础教育以及高等教育的教学质量以及水平。为了培养足够多的人才,以及让更多的孩子受到大学教育,更多的社区大学被建立,并且给予社区大学的学生很多的机会去college 和 university上学。除此之外,中小学的基础设施建设也被政府所重视,为了让学生能够更好的提升他们的学习效率,绝大部分学校都会配备设备齐全的实验室,以及藏书很多的图书馆。结论:因此从美国政府对于教育的重视就能看投资教育的重要性。

2.论点:健康对于普通市民来说是最重要的,表明了政府对于不断提升医疗技术的重视的必要性。解释:医疗技术的发展能够决定是否人们能够保持健康的身体状态,而这也是社会发展的前提条件,因为没有健康的普通个体,社会的各个行业的发展不可能得到保障。例子:近10年左右,各种大范围突发性传染疾病的出现使得人们的身体健康时刻处于威胁之下,从2003年席卷中国的SARS,到几年先后出现的禽流感,还有近两年出现的埃博拉病毒。如果医疗技术没有在进步,那么很可能整个人类都会处于巨大的威胁之下。除了这些突发性疾病,现在人们从小注射的各种疫苗也正是医疗技术不断进步的成果。结论:因此可以看出医疗技术的进步关乎人们的身体健康,需要被政府重视。

3.让步段:诚然帮助那些失业的人也很重要。失业的人无法得到稳定的经济收入,会直接影响他们的生活。然而,政府如果投资教育,能够很大程度的减少失业人的数量,而且那些失业的人也可以通过使用政府所投资的教育系统,去上培训学校,去提升自己的能力,使得自己能够重新就业。因此在这三者中,政府更应重视教育和医疗。


但是我觉得这个思路和“economy crisis”没什么关联呀…让步段也没有对“医疗”和“救助失业”进行说明和比较?总觉得逻辑上有点心塞…

下面是我自己在看这个解题思路之前写的,花了1个小时:L


Economic crisis, which will spawn a riot of financial and social problems, is an inevitable period in the cycle of economy development. When the crisis looms large, it is incumbent upon the government to reduce spending in certain fields to make the most out of the limited funds and buffer the negative effects for the most part. And this is where the dilemma rises. Some think the government is meant to cut back on the expense on education; others believe we should invest less on health care; and some think we are justified in supporting less for the unemployed. As far as I am concerned, compared with the other aspects, the government should reduce spending on health care, and the reasons behind this are deep and profound.

Firstly, the other two things are of paramount importance for the society during the economic crisis and we can’t afford cutting the spending on them. It is education system that generates almost every people that make great contribution to the society. But people tend to be shortsighted when they are in poor financial condition and they are not likely to spend enough money on education. However, the lack of elites and the inadequate education for children will hamper the development of the country greatly and trigger a lot more crisis. During the Qing dynasty in China, when the government was financially embarrassed, it still supports a group of kids to study in America regardless of the high expense. But eventually, when the young people came back to China, they made great differences. A boy named Tianyou Zhan designed the first rail way in China and greatly elevated the spirit of Chinese at that time.

Secondly, as far as the social problems are concerned, the support for the unemployed is vital, especially during the crisis. This is because the increasing unemployment rate is the factor that tends to create negative feelings toward the government and do harm to the stability of the society. If a lot of people are unemployed without proper support, they may vent their anger on their families or the society, which will lead to frictions between different strata in the society and the crime rate will rise and the rule of the authority is threaten. To allay and alleviate the negative feelings of people and save more time for the country to recover from the crisis, the support of those unemployed is crucial.

Thirdly, the health care is less urgent in the crisis. If those unemployed are financially supported they can decide how to use their money and use it for the most important thing to them. Therefore the use of money will be more efficient.

All in all, if we have to sacrifice one of the three aspects, to my certain knowledge, it wiser for the government to cut the expense on health care. (475)

感觉写起来有点吃力,一段比一段内容少

大家对于这个题目有什么看法么?你会怎么写呀?

感谢啊啊啊~~~


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