issue 30-model essay

tesolchina_RAUID：3675555

issue 30/83
Teachers' salaries should be based on their students' academic performance.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.



As the modern society becomes increasingly dependent on a skilled and knowledgeable workforce, it is proposed that, to encourage teachers to pursue teaching excellence, their salaries should be determined according to the academic performance of their students.  I strongly disagree with this proposal as this policy will lead to serious washback effects on teaching and prevent the students from developing in a well-rounded manner.  In addition, the policy is not unfair to teachers who cannot control all the factors that influence students’ academic performance.  

开篇先讲背景 指出有人提出这个意见以及背后可能的理念或目的 这是一个很成熟的套路  
接下来全面否定 指出两个理由 然后提出第三个理由为驳斥挑战埋下伏笔  


If the teachers receive their salaries based on their students’ scores in the exams, it is likely that teachers will focus primarily on preparing students for the high-stake exams.  It is well-known that test preparation often has negative washback effects on learning and teaching.  For example, language teachers who are under pressure to help students pass certain tests stipulated by governments often focus narrowly on the skills and techniques that are important for doing well in the tests but ignore students’ needs to learn the language in a more creative and enjoyable way.  Maybe in the short term, such policy can improve students’ performance to some extent. But in the long term, students will lose interest in learning due to the exam-oriented pedagogical approaches.  

本段主要讲这个政策会带来的一个具体的后果 就是应试教育 举了例子 但没有具体人 算是一个假设性的例子  
分short-term long term进一步阐述   全部在讲同一个point
（其实我是支持应试教育的，不过考场上要看怎么好写，而不是个人真实的想法）

Another problem with the proposed policy is that it forces teachers to promote academic excellence among students as the only goal for education. While doing well academically is certainly a worthy objective for students to pursue, education is more than performing well academically.  There are other important goals that teachers and students should try to achieve in schools.  Among other things, students should try to develop their leadership skills and build a strong sense of citizenship through a wide range of extracurricular activities.  If teachers are paid according to students’ academic performance, all learning and teaching activities will inevitably be driven by academic studies, leading to the lack of attention to other important aspects of development of students.  

指出另一个问题 教育会过于强调学业
指出教育的其他目标以及全面发展的理念   

Some people may argue that this policy will create financial incentives for teachers to work harder to help students do well in school and tests.  While this may be true for some teachers and some students, it is important to bear in mind that students’ academic performance is often affected by a wide range of factors. For example, studies have shown that students from middle-class families tend to perform better than those from lower socioeconomic classes. The income and education level of parents, while certainly influencing students’ academic performance, are not something that teachers can control.  Therefore, it is not fair to penalize teachers who may make a lot of efforts teaching the students who cannot do well in schools for other reasons.  

看清楚be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.怎么写啦  

先假设性的提出别人可能提出的挑战  
然后让步加驳斥一句完成
接下来展开讨论  


In conclusion, I do not think students and teachers will benefit from a salary scheme primarily based on academic performance of students as the policy will produce negative washback effects on teaching and learning and harm the overall, balanced development of students. It is also not clear that this policy will motivate teachers to work harder as there are many factors influencing academic performance are beyond the control of teachers.  

最后基本上是将前面的几个点串起来复述一遍  


另外写了一个提纲可供参考

TS: I do not believe that teachers’ compensation should be based on the performance of their students because the policy would destablize the income of the teachers and force the teachers to leave the profession.  To address these two concerns, the teachers should be paid based on their workload and the market price of their talents and skills.  To promote the quality of teaching, teachers may be awarded bonus and promoted to more senior ranks based on the academic performance of their students.  


ts1: Teachers should be paid their salaries based on their workload rather than students’ performance so that they can expect a relatively stable income which is essential for their morale and dignity.
- students’ academic performance is influenced by many factors that are beyond the control of the teachers
(parents, inelligence, attitude, difficulty of the exams)
- as a result, the performance often fluctuates over the semesters  
- it is not fair to punish teachers with lower salaries when the performance is poor due to other factors or reward the teachers the other way around
- teachers are professionals who need to raise their families with stable income
- therefore, they should be paid based on their workload


ts2: The compensation schemes for teachers should also take into account what the teachers may get paid if they take jobs in a different industry in order to attract and keep talents in education.  
- if their salaries are subject to the performance that they could not fully control, they may consider other careers in other fields
- in fact, the competition for talents from other industries is always real
- language teachers may be hired by newspaper and publishing companies
- math and science teachers may take up jobs in technology companies
- therefore, they should be paid based on the market prices of their talents and skills
- otherwise, the teaching profession may suffer from brain drain  



ts3: To motivate the teachers, extra bonus and promotion opportunities should be linked to the academic performance of the students.  
- some people may argue that teachers should be provided incentive to improve students’ academic performance
- it is true that teachers can somehow influence their students’ performance by improving the quality of their teaching
- some other financial rewards such as bonus and promotion opportunities may be offered
- the extra benefits could be useful for teachers to make the extra efforts without hurting the turnover of teachers  

issue范文与提纲目录(tesolchina)
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3675555

gwang3UID：3636596

In addition, the policy is not unfair to teachers who cannot control all the factors that influence students’ academic performance.  

王老师，这句是不是应该是 the policy is not fair to teachers....

tesolchinaUID：2191404

gwang3 发表于 2015-12-19 17:46
In addition, the policy is not unfair to teachers who cannot control all the factors that influence  ...

是的 晚点再校对~