Technology求点评

XuyuanlingUID：3686195

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of
humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain
your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your
position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not
hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

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Understandable as it might be, with regard to the mass public concerns about the abuse of modern technology, which will hamper the mental development and skills of our human beings. We saw the most tremendous transformation of social structure and regional communication in the past two decades, part of which was undoubtedly triggered by the fast progress of computer science and GPS technologies. And sometimes it might seem that people get everything more easily than they did in the past. Because of the google map, we are free of tedious memorizing of the name of streets, and sometimes even of the place. Thanks to the computer-adapted, both test taker and reader are free of recognizing handing writings. Some of the plugs for Microsoft office are already ready to correct grammar mistakes or even logic contradicts at times.  
However simply ascribing the potential degradation of our ability is definitely unfair. First, the content of the ability is obscure and far from precise. Second, it is not uncommon for new techs to get more critics as it creates uncertainty and thus agitates people who are already quiet familiar and used to the out-dated one. Last, people in the different time tend to attach obsession to various skills that are most suitable to maximum the utility of their inputs and bring favourable results. Therefore the conscious elimination of skills with low utility should not be deemed as the real degrading of the capability.
Besides, if taking a glance at the new era, where more challenges arise and frequent changes become normalizing, we can see human today actually face more imperious and wide-spread issues than any other generations. On the one hand, the world becoming so correlated that what used to be a small incident or shock would cause global catastrophe. On the other hand, the unexpected influence of technology failure, again, requires us to take a much macro and forwarding view on both the benefits bestowed and cons brought by the technology. Moreover, the surge of information and data as a result also put great challenges for people today to develop more complicated model and analysis tools, which require high level of abstracting and systemic thinking.
Doubtless to say the progress of technology is also under the dome of involution theory. As our taste of the technology is driven by the self-awareness to adapt to a new challenging world, those most fit the need of modern generation survive.  Just like our ancestors overcame the nervous of fire and enjoyed the fully cooked food without worrying too much about the degradation of digestive systems; the automobile doesn't deprive our rights to enjoy running and jogging. Men always change to live better.

tesolchinaUID：2191404

第一句话不是完整的句子
第一段没有明确的观点 直接各种举例 例子一般放在中间段
content of the ability is obscure and far from precise - content of ability不懂
对题目提出的ability to think 这个概念扣题不紧  
建议看看OG上这道题的范文以及我写的示范
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... ge=15#pid1779234589

XuyuanlingUID：3686195

Thanks!

XuyuanlingUID：3686195

tesolchina 发表于 2016-1-15 08:01
第一句话不是完整的句子
第一段没有明确的观点 直接各种举例 例子一般放在中间段
content of the abilit ...

感谢老师的点评，根据老师点评修改....
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The excessive convenience and accessibility of modern technology has reshaped everyone's life and been incorporated into our whole process of decision-making and systematic analysis, which are usually ascribed as the core elements of the ability to thinking. No wonder the argument raises the concern that our thinking and intelligence might be restrained by the ever smarter technology. However, if taking a historical view, we would find the wheel of technology keeps revolving, although it might soar in the past decades, and none of our ancestors actually face the emergency of losing mental skills. Quite oppositely, it is the appreciation of technology that help we human take high level of creative and complex thinking and improve our ability to solve interrelated issues concerning both immaterial and physical world.
Therefore simply ascribing the potential degradation of our ability to the development of technology is definitely unfair. First, as mentioned in the first paragraph, our pattern of thoughts change according to the era we living and the technology we utilise. That's explain why scholar lived before 17s, when portable printing had not been invented, usually try to take huge notes and recite everything they read as a result of the scarcity of the references, while in nowadays, thanks to google, Mircosoft office and a lot of updating referencing tools, we are free from physical writing and can get access to various literatures within single click of the mouse. What need to be mentioned is that the easiness to get the material or data we need does not necessarily mean that our ability to thinking compromises at all. The surge of information and data as a result actually put more challenges for people today to develop more complicated model and analysis tools, which require high level of abstract and systemic thinking.  
Second, it is not uncommon for new techs to get more critics as it creates uncertainty and thus makes people, who are already quiet familiar and used to the out-dated techniques and less willingness to adapt, quite uneasy to live in a fast-paced world circulated by advanced technology. Shall we let such kind of sentiments restrain the progress of technology? Then we might end up in eating raw meat and living in the cave as a result of our genuine nervousness of the fire tens of thousands of years ago. The fact that the emerging of technology will always challenge our inertia as human being and create new issues for us to solve, just gives the whole human society chance to  overcome men's circumscription and  expand their view toward an ever changing world. Therefore the conscious elimination of skills with low utility should not be deemed as the real degrading of the capability.
Last, as a result of the accumulation of human wealth driven by globalized networks and trades, human today actually face more wide-spread issues than any other generations. What does that mean? The malfunctions and malicious application of technology will cause enormous catastrophes of the whole world. Those who worked around 2000 will be familiar wit he the millennium timing issue faced by the computer area. People are still debating on the soundness of the cloning of human and other animals. The unexpected effects that today's technology experts are perhaps out of each of our wildest imagination, all of which calls us to take a more cautious and forward-looking view and try to be even more intelligent, in terms of both mental and moral area, to hamper the negative spillover of technologies we created

tesolchinaUID：2191404

Xuyuanling 发表于 2016-1-15 19:17
感谢老师的点评，根据老师点评修改....
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The ...

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1935638-1-1.html
建议你参加这个公开课

XuyuanlingUID：3686195

tesolchina 发表于 2016-1-17 20:55
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1935638-1-1.html
建议你参加这个公开课

Sorry, I just saw your invitation, may be I can join next time:)