寄托家园留学论坛

查看: 12766|回复: 78

[主题活动] 揭秘托福GRE作文电子评分器-元月20日晚公开课习作收集帖 [复制链接]

Rank: 8Rank: 8

声望
885
寄托币
6190
注册时间
2006-2-26
精华
6
帖子
2160

寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant

发表于 2016-1-15 18:28:55 来自手机 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2016-1-22 09:24 编辑

欢迎参加『揭开托福GRE作文电子评分器的神秘面纱』寄托公开课。请回复本帖粘贴自己的一篇未经修改的托福或GRE作文练习,并记住自己的所在楼层。上课时请通过右上角的电梯回到自己的楼层并按照QQ群里的指引编辑自己的楼层参加练习和互动。为防止被ETS检索,本帖将于公开课开始后设置阅读权限,请大家放心。

考虑到部分同学可能手头上没有习作,这里出一道托福大作文题,请花20分钟写一篇出来贴在这里。
Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Which point of view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.

时间:元月20日星期三晚7点半
参加公开课,请加入QQ群:138584568(一号群517146089已满员,请加2号群138584568)  入群暗号:gter



到开课前最后十分钟还没有习作的同学,请粘贴以下段落作为习作参与互动环节。


When it comes to the quality of learning, I think it is the degree the students master the knowledge which specific level of education requires. With this definition, I fundamentally disagree with the claim that all levels of education are limited by competition. Because different level education has different goals, in my opinion, when learning mostly involves memorizing facts,  appropriate competition for high grades could be an approach to improve the quality of learning, but overemphasizing grades does the opposite, when the purpose of education is comprehension of knowledge and innovation, pursuing high scores can hardly be meaning.

Competition for high scores a method for promoting the quality of learning when it comes to mechanical memorizing. Imagine there is a factory holds a knowledge contest of safety rules which are boring to learn, workers with the highest scores win the contest which has a reward. Workers who win the contest must have mastered the safety rules very well and workers in the contest, through competition for high scores, effectively master the safety rules and apply them in the contest, even in their daily working. In this case, a contest with competition for scores is helpful for improving the quality of learning boring safety rules. And the same is true of junior high school students and below, which their studying mostly involves memorizing the basic facts and formulations, competing for scores could be beneficial to master the basic knowledge which will be the foundation of their future studying.




找自己习作中的错误的句子回帖格式,请保留机读代码。如果找不到请填上nil
所有内容请通过编辑本帖中自己的楼层添加。


<error_type> sentence fragment </error_type>
<incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有sentence fragment错误的句子 放在这里</incorrect>

<error_type> run-on sentence </error_type>
<incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有run-on sentence错误的句子 放在这里</incorrect>


<error_type> subject-verb agreement </error_type>
<incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有subject-verb agreement错误的句子 放在这里</incorrect>  

<error_type> there be miscontruction </error_type>
<seemingly_incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有there be miscontruction错误的句子 放在这里</seemingly_incorrect>  


<error_type> word form </error_type>
<seemingly_incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有sentence fragment错误的句子 放在这里</seemingly_incorrect>  

  

<error_type> verb noun collocation error</error type>
<seemingly_incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有verb noun collocation error错误的句子 放在这里</seemingly_incorrect>
<collocation_error> 这里填上面句子里的动词和名词原型 如 solve problem</collocation_error>
<COCA_search_term>填上你在COCA里的查找项</COCA_search_term>
<corrected_collocation>这里填上根据COCA查询结果修改后的动词和名词原型</corrected_collocation>


<error_type> adjective noun collocation error</error type>
<seemingly_incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有adjective noun collocation error错误的句子 放在这里</seemingly_incorrect>
<collocation_error>  这里填上上面句子里的形容词和名词 如 difficult problem</collocation_error>  
<COCA_search_term>填上你在COCA里的查找项</COCA_search_term>  
<corrected_collocation>这里填上根据COCA查询结果修改后的形容词和名词</corrected_collocation>

<error_type> verb adv collocation error</error type>
<seemingly_incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有veb adv collocation error错误的句子 放在这里</seemingly_incorrect>
<collocation_error> 这里填上上面句子里的动词和副词 如 difficult problem</collocation_error>
<COCA_search_term>填上你在COCA里的查找项</COCA_search_term>  
<corrected_collocation>这里填上根据COCA查询结果修改后的动词和副词</corrected_collocation>  


<error_type> verb preposition collocation error</error type>
<seemingly_incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有veb preposition collocation error错误的句子 放在这里</seemingly_incorrect>
<collocation_error> 这里填上上面句子里的动词和介词 如 run in</collocation_error>
<COCA_search_term>填上你在COCA里的查找项</COCA_search_term>  
<corrected_collocation>这里填上根据COCA查询结果修改后的动词和介词</corrected_collocation>  














使用道具 举报

Rank: 8Rank: 8

声望
885
寄托币
6190
注册时间
2006-2-26
精华
6
帖子
2160

寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant

发表于 2016-1-15 21:12:22 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2016-1-19 12:17 编辑

请在自己楼层上方贴出授权声明:
本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。 - 寄托ID:


请在这里贴上自己的习作

习作类型:托福/GRE issue/ GRE argument (请删去不适用)
题目:


习作正文:  

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
62
寄托币
263
注册时间
2015-11-9
精华
0
帖子
39
发表于 2016-1-16 16:24:37 来自手机 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 tibetswan 于 2016-1-20 20:35 编辑

本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。 - 寄托ID:tibetswan

GRE argument

题目:A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

  According to the letter, the study demonstrated the relationship between rhesus monkeys' birth order and individuals' stimulation levels.But there're still alternative explanations accounting for the illustrated phenomenon against that argument.

    At the beginning, such assumption should be established on a large size of representative sample in statistics. Due to the experiment in this argument, the sample size of those eighteen chosen rhesus monkeys is too small to represent their entire species. I


    Secondly, the original explanation isn't persuasive to verify comparing two species under the same circumstances. The argument mistook human infants' explanation for the reference to rhesus monkeys' similar situation without a controlled experiment, whose result is supposed to be based on keeping all the other variables fixed except for the crucial hormone cortisol level condition.Moreover, the argument didn't explain the physical mechanism related to firstborn humans and firstborn infant monkeys. If there are any differences between those two species, the original explanation will be incorrect. The author should dwell on the cohesion between the human race and rhesus monkeys.

Last but not least, other elements like rhesus monkeys' age, their habitat's environment quality and individuals' differences should also be taken into consideration to the explanation. For example, different age results in various levels of metabolism which will influence an individual's levels of stimulation instead of the birth order. Another instance is the quality of their environment. A terrible habit threatening rhesus monkeys' survival will also increase the hormone cortisol level as a stimulus. Finally, the situation varies from individual to individual. Individuals' difference should also be taken into the explanation. Some individuals incline to be sensitive to the changing environment and react dramatically to the stimulus.

    In summary, the argument should explicate relevant experimental statistics, methods and environment. The author had better revaluate the original explanation by excluding all the other critical influential factors before drawing the final conclusion.
已有 1 人评分声望 收起 理由
tesolchina + 5 请帖授权声明

总评分: 声望 + 5   查看全部评分

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
205
寄托币
1247
注册时间
2016-1-1
精华
0
帖子
163

2016 US-applicant

发表于 2016-1-16 18:45:35 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 kasy 于 2016-1-21 20:01 编辑

复制老师的

习作类型:托福

题目:Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Which point of view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.

习作正文:
When it comes to the quality of learning, I think it is the degree the students master the knowledge which specific level of education requires. With this definition, I fundamentally disagree with the claim that all levels of education are limited by competition. Because different level education has different goals, in my opinion, when learning mostly involves memorizing facts,  appropriate competition for high grades could be an approach to improve the quality of learning, but overemphasizing grades does the opposite, when the purpose of education is comprehension of knowledge and innovation, pursuing high scores can hardly be meaning.

Competition for high scores a method for promoting the quality of learning when it comes to mechanical memorizing. Imagine there is a factory holds a knowledge contest of safety rules which are boring to learn, workers with the highest scores win the contest which has a reward. Workers who win the contest must have mastered the safety rules very well and workers in the contest, through competition for high scores, effectively master the safety rules and apply them in the contest, even in their daily working. In this case, a contest with competition for scores is helpful for improving the quality of learning boring safety rules. And the same is true of junior high school students and below, which their studying mostly involves memorizing the basic facts and formulations, competing for scores could be beneficial to master the basic knowledge which will be the foundation of their future studying.

已有 1 人评分声望 收起 理由
tesolchina + 5 请帖授权声明

总评分: 声望 + 5   查看全部评分

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
50
寄托币
34
注册时间
2016-1-16
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2016-1-17 00:08:02 |显示全部楼层
占座

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
50
寄托币
37
注册时间
2015-7-13
精华
0
帖子
14
发表于 2016-1-18 11:13:46 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 wz1342322 于 2016-1-20 21:47 编辑

习作类型:托福
题目:        Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Television advertising directed toward young children(aged two five) should not be allowed.
习题正文:Should television advertising which is directed toward young children be allowed? I strongly agree with the speaker's statement, although it seems a reasonable way to advertise the company's products, after careful analysis, it turns out to be of no good for companies, parents and children.
        As advertisements are common to see in nowadays television programs, we often find ads between two TV series, or the break of movies, one might find it hackneyed to see an ad directed toward young children. However, companies which spend money to explore this territory are impolitic, after all, few children whose age falls in the range of two to five has time to watch it, in my observation, they spend most of their time writing their homework or playing with others, despite sometimes watching TV is allowed by their parents. Accordingly, it is safe to say that companies are not likely to receive expected response, which will lead a negligible profit while makes sponsors spend unnecessary investment.
        As for children, watching advertisements that are designed for themselves might lead to negative effects. We know that children aged two to five usually don't have the ability to either earn their own assets, or control the money that belongs to them. Under most circumstances, it is their parents who control the come and go of their money. So even children happen to watch the ad displayed on the TV and are touched by it, they can't afford to buy, which might lead some bad effects on them, such like stealing their parents' money to buy the one they like. After all, they are only children, who have not developed the ability to reasonably balance their desire with reason. For example, when I was young, I watched the TV and had a strong desire to buy a model of an airplane, if my parents didn't exert a great effort to persuade me to give up, I may have bought it and focus on other toy a few days latter.
        With the respect of the parents, as stated above, ads which advertise on the TV may inspire children to unreasonably buy something unpracticed, it is parents' duty to take more care of their children hence an extra effort is needed. I remember at some point I watch a news about a student illegally sold his kidney to buy an iPhone 5, although it is regretful to know that, but meanwhile I am angry with his parents for not finding it before it happened, since children are readily being inspired by the advertisement, parents have to make more efforts to watch out their child.
        In the final analysis, it is ill-conceived for companies to advertise to young children since it is difficult to receive a proper response, it is better to spend effort on parents who have children under age 5, and it is also harmful for both parents and children since it might bring about a bad effect on children and an extra effort to their parents.

<error_type> word form </error_type>
<seemingly_incorrect>We know that children aged two to five usually don't have the ability to either earn their own assets, or control the money that belongs to them. Under most circumstances, it is their parents who control the come and go of their money.</seemingly_incorrect>
<collocation_error> earn thier asset</collocation_error>
<COCA_search_term>[v*] [asset]</COCA_search_term>
<corrected_collocation>acquire asset</corrected_collocation>

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
160
寄托币
405
注册时间
2013-10-18
精华
0
帖子
60
发表于 2016-1-18 12:12:13 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 chbang 于 2016-1-20 21:36 编辑

请在自己楼层上方贴出授权声明:
本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。 - 寄托ID:chbang


请在这里贴上自己的习作

习作类型:托福
题目:


习作正文:  


Though traveling with a tour guide in a group now becomes more and more popular and is accepted by large amount of people who want to spend a relaxing holiday or honeymoon. I stick that travel without a tour guide is the right way to acquire an enjoyable travel.
To begin with, travel with a group may be expensive and awful. Travel angency often charge much more than it need to make a profit. In fact, if we spend the same amount of money on traveling by ourselves, we can get better experience. For example, I went to Beijin, the capitan of China with a tour group to see the Great Wall last summer vacation. I spent one thousand dollars for the tree day trip. However, I had a bad experience in these three days. I lived in a three-star hotel without wifi connection and there was no hot water supply to the guest. I took the bath with cold water for three days and got a cold when I backed home. The tour guide wasn't so nice as I imaged, he just took us to lots of souvenir shops and forced to buy the souvenirs in the shop. We only got a twenty minutes's stay on the Great Wall the last day and I fadn't even had enough time to take pictures! Last month, I went to Beijin again just by myself, I ordered a five-star hotel near the Great Wall, I can even see tourist climbing the steps from my room. What's more, the five-star hotel was amazingly great. There was a swimming pool with warm water on the top of the hotel and I can swim in the pool without paying. I stay a whole day on the Great Wall and had taken hundreds of pictures with friends I acquired during my self-guided trip. The third day, I went to Tian'an Men Square and entered the forbidden city. That was another fantastic day. What suprised me was that I only spent five hundred dollars for this wonderful trip, which was only half I had spent with the tour group.
Saving money and having good experience isn't the only benefit of tour with no guide. One can do whatever he want or make lots of friends if he travels alone. Just image this, you come across with a beatiful Britan girl when you are visiting the campus of the Oxford University. The girl smiled at you and you want to go ahead to say Hi. Then the rude, boring tour guide just comes to you and push you to another destinatin. What a shame of that! If you are just traveling alone, you can simply feel free and talk to her, maybe it is just the beginning of you true love! Sadly, you are taken away by the guide, with your crush to that girl.
From the analysis above, I strongly disagree with the idea that the best way to trravel is in a group led by a tour guide.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
90
寄托币
1757
注册时间
2012-11-12
精华
0
帖子
258

2015 US-applicant 美版2016offer达人

发表于 2016-1-18 12:50:20 |显示全部楼层
我也先买个楼,虽然自己不住。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
180
寄托币
1289
注册时间
2015-12-11
精华
0
帖子
137

经济18offer勋章

发表于 2016-1-18 12:52:28 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 天天羊言 于 2016-1-20 22:47 编辑

本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。
寄托ID:天天羊言

习作类型:GRE issue

题目:Issue 97
Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

习作正文:
I disagree with the statement that colleges need to require their students to spend some time studying abroad. First, it is difficult to undertake the expenditure for students with financial limitations; moreover, learning in a foreign country is not quite helpful for the students studying on many fields such as national literature or archeology. While some people argue that the opportunities of global exchange program or studying visiting will broaden our academic horizons, this standpoint may be suitable for certain disciplines.

To begin with, the requirement is hardly to meet for students without enough financial supports. Because studying abroad needs to take on a large number of expenditures including many programs such as flight expense, domiciling expense and tuition fee, which can take up large parts for a common family. Maybe there are some allowances like scholarship or fellowship, which will cover most of tuition expense and miscellaneous fees. But the number of these opportunities is always limited, which means there are still many students, who derive from the common family, can not have access to undertaking the abroad expenditures.

In addition, studying in a foreign country will not provide much help for many academic fields, which usually have obvious specialties related to the domestic, such as national literature or archeology. Consider the archeology as an example. This discipline is most related to the ancient recording materials and geographical characteristics about the domestic regions; obviously these researches are most abundant in the domestic. Under this kind of conditions, it is the most possible to come into contact with the top research for staying in the domestic, while studying abroad is difficult to arrive at this academic goal.

Although some people argue that participating in some programs about studying abroad like global exchange or studying visiting will broaden students’ horizons. Considering the reasons above-mentioned, we can deduce that this policy is just suitable for some students in certain disciplines such as international trade, comparative literature or foreign languages. Therefore, this statement should be proposed as a suggestion to some studying fields, which just provide the guide or subsidy for encouraging, rather than formulated as a requirement, which means it is necessary to do.

In conclusion, while the policy about studying in a foreign country will broaden the horizons, for students with financial limitations and some disciplines are not appropriate to research abroad, colleges should not require their students to spend some time and a large number of moneys on this requirement. Maybe treating it as a suggestion rather than a requirement is a better choice.




<error_type> sentence fragment </error_type>
<incorrect>nil</incorrect>

<error_type> run-on sentence </error_type>
<incorrect>nil</incorrect>


<error_type> subject-verb agreement </error_type>
<incorrect>nil</incorrect>  

<error_type> there be miscontruction </error_type>
<seemingly_incorrect>there are still many students, who derive from the common family, can not have access to undertaking the abroad expenditures.</seemingly_incorrect>  

<error_type> word form </error_type>
<seemingly_incorrect>nil</seemingly_incorrect>

<error_type> verb noun collocation error</error type>
<seemingly_incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有verb noun collocation error错误的句子 放在这</seemingly_incorrect>
<collocation_error> 这里填上面句子里的动词和名词原型 如 solve problem</collocation_error>
<COCA_search_term>填上你在COCA里的查找项</COCA_search_term>
<corrected_collocation>这里填上根据COCA查询结果修改后的动词和名词原型</corrected_collocation>

<error_type> adjective noun collocation error</error type>
<seemingly_incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有adjective noun collocation error错误的句子 放在这</seemingly_incorrect>
<collocation_error>  这里填上上面句子里的形容词和名词 如 difficult problem</collocation_error>  
<COCA_search_term>填上你在COCA里的查找项</COCA_search_term>  
<corrected_collocation>这里填上根据COCA查询结果修改后的形容词和名词</corrected_collocation>

<error_type> verb adv collocation error</error type>
<seemingly_incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有veb adv collocation error错误的句子 放在这里</seemingly_incorrect>
<collocation_error> 这里填上上面句子里的动词和副词 如 difficult problem</collocation_error>
<COCA_search_term>填上你在COCA里的查找项</COCA_search_term>  
<corrected_collocation>这里填上根据COCA查询结果修改后的动词和副词</corrected_collocation>  

<error_type> verb preposition collocation error</error type>
<seemingly_incorrect>请找出自己习作中含有veb preposition collocation error错误的句子 放在这里</seemingly_incorrect>
<collocation_error> 这里填上上面句子里的动词和介词 如 run in</collocation_error>
<COCA_search_term>填上你在COCA里的查找项</COCA_search_term>  
<corrected_collocation>这里填上根据COCA查询结果修改后的动词和介词</corrected_collocation>  

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
62
寄托币
457
注册时间
2014-9-27
精华
0
帖子
73

寄托兑换店纪念章 2015 US-applicant

发表于 2016-1-18 21:48:20 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 wavedzl 于 2016-1-20 12:56 编辑

本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。
寄托ID:wavedzl

习作类型:托福独立作文
题目:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
At university and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and should receive equal financial support.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It’s not uncommon for us to know that university and colleges pay the considerable money to buttress classes. Some universities think classes are more important than sports and social activities because students should concentrate on classes to get good grades. But I believe that sports and social activities are just as important as classes to get equal financial support.

To begin with, students are supposed to participant in sports and social activities to keep healthy so that they can keep a good condition in the class. We can always find some sick students in the class, which show us that they may not get enough exercise to strength their body. Therefore, health is a key factor for study good in class. For instance, we can play some sports such as basketball, soccer, and ping-pang ball during leisure time, which will be beneficial to us.

Further, spending enough time to exercise your body after class will make your life more efficient.
If you feel tired after a long time class, why not refresh yourself by taking part in the social activities?  That will definitely boost your efficient. I always keep a balance between class and sports like running, which result me a good grade and strong body.

In addition, it’s believed that you can expand your friend circle by joining the social activities. A good friend can share our sorrow and happiness, they may also help you in your future career. You may acquire many new knowledge through different sports and activities. Therefore, it’s reasonable that school should buttress sports and activities as well as class in financial aid.

Overall, in order to keep a healthy body, boost your efficient, and make more friends. The university and colleges are supposed to concentrate on social activities as well as class and give both of them enough money to build a good environment for students.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
150
寄托币
524
注册时间
2015-2-19
精华
0
帖子
42
发表于 2016-1-19 09:27:36 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 Catherine_hope 于 2016-1-20 22:17 编辑

本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。 - 寄托ID:Catherine_hope

习题类型:GRE issue

"As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible, but more complex and more mysterious."

Helping people to have more information about the world and to have a deeper understanding of the principle of thing, knowledge is the best thing past from one generation to another. Knowledge is a fantastic tool to make things more comprehensible. Meanwhile, however, knowledge can also make the things more complex and more mysterious than what we previously thought.

Knowledge is helpful in our recognition process of an unfamiliar thing by giving us a clearer look of things, which turned out to be more comprehensible. For example, when a person is wondering how we see the world, he can just search the internet and find out it is eye to sense the light reflect by the object and then transfer the signal to brain where an image is formed. In this way, the seeming unimaginable process of seeing an object is made to be comprehensible and imaginable to us.

Although knowledge gives us a clearer look of things and can make things to be more comprehensible, it also gives us more detail of things and makes them turn out to be more complex and more mysterious in the same time. The process of seeing an object can be understood by the cooperation of eye and brain. But here more questions come out. How do signals transferred from eye to brain? How could brain turn the signal into image? How can the image be formed in brain? Much more questions make the problem to be more difficult. It is a common phenomenon that people always raise more questions as they know more about a certain field. As we know more, we find ourselves unknown more.

Knowledge just provides us a paradoxical result at the same time, making our recognition process of an unfamiliar thing to be easier and more difficult. Consider, for another case, microscope give researchers more details about the basic element of a cell. With the scientific knowledge, the way of how cell absorbs energy and releases useless thing is understood. The theory about the role of cells in an organism is settled. On the one hand, researchers can have a clearer understand of how component in the cell organized and cooperate in a cell. The working procedure in a cell is conceivable and comprehensible to researchers. On the other hand, new questions come out and make researchers be puzzled again. What controls the components to work together? What makes the cell to recognize the subject it need? More mystery and problems are introduced as the knowledge provide by microscope emerged even though knowledge makes things to be more understandable.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
150
寄托币
524
注册时间
2015-2-19
精华
0
帖子
42
发表于 2016-1-19 09:28:13 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 Catherine_hope 于 2016-1-21 21:32 编辑

本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。 - 寄托ID:

习题类型:GRE argument

题目:
Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been unique to the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the BrimRiver from Palea. The BrimRiver is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could only have crossed it by boat, but there is no evidence that the Paleans had boats. And boats capable of carrying groups of people and cargo were not developed until thousands of years after the Palean people disappeared. Moreover, Paleans would have had no need to cross the river ?the woods around Palea are full of nuts, berries, and small game. It follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not unique to Palea. Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument.

正文:
The argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. By arguing no Palean boats has been found, the only way to cross Brim River from Palea to Lithos, the argument that the Palean baskets found in Lithos were not uniquely Palean seems logical.

However, other possible alternatives to take the Palean baskets from Palean to Lithos are failing to be considered. Such alternatives may include the way that the baskets floated across the river by themselves from Palean and were found by people in Lithos, or that Lithos people made boat and then came to Palean bringing back the baskets. It was also possible for other people who traveled by boat and passed by Palean to take the baskets from Palean to Lithos. It appears reasonable that the Palean baskets found in Lithos were made from Palean.

Even if one accepts that  boat is the only way to cross the river, the argument remains questionable. No discovery of boat couldn't prove that boat doesn’t exist. It is mentioned that the village of Palea is prehistoric, belong to a time so long ago that material at that time like wood would already rotten away. So if boats were made in such easily rotten material, they would surely disappear as time goes by. Even if boats could resist decay, they may lie deep in the river bed or somewhere in the place we haven’t searched. It is possible that Palean has already got the technic to made a boat and then taken the basket to Lithos to exchange for food or something else or just sent them to people at there for friendship. In this argument, no evidence has been rendered to prove if Palean process the making- boat ability. Did they have tools like axe to cut down big trees? Was there good material like bamboo to make a boat?

In addition, the argument fall to consider the changing geography shape of a certain area. The argument hasn’t provide details about the prehistoric shape of Brim river between Palea and Lithos. The geography of a certain area isn’t constant during such a long time under the influence of environmental factors such like weather, temperature. There may have been a time, such as during long time no-rain weather condition, when much less or no water was in the Brim river area and therefore the river was small and shallow or even didn’t exist. So Palean people at that time can easily cross this area by foot and exchange material with people from Lithos. If so, more details needed to be provided about the geography condition of this area.

In conclusion, the argument, while it seems logical at first, has several flaws as discussed above. We should investigate more details to prove that the Palean basket found in Lithos was not made in Palea. Without ruling out the influence of these, we could not conclude that the Palean basket isn’t unique in Palea, which would mislead our effort of research and make us get wrong conclusion.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
50
寄托币
103
注册时间
2015-10-31
精华
0
帖子
23
发表于 2016-1-19 09:55:54 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 多多洛71 于 2016-1-20 19:52 编辑

本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。
寄托ID:多多洛71


托福作文: Your community has a piece of land and is considering introducing a business to this land. Which business would you prefer? 1. A shopping mall 2. A performing art center 3. A hotel.


When it comes to which business I prefer to be introduced to our community, I will choose a shopping mall undoubtedly. I find several solid reasons as follows.

To begin with, I think our community in need of a shopping mall. Economy have developed rapidly these years, with people's income also have increased substantially in our community. So only one supermarket and several shops cannot meet people's needs anymore. Sometimes we have to go to the downtown to buy clothing or other goods, which is inconvenient since the downtown is far away from our community. Except the increased income of people living there, the population of the community also has grown apparently. Now many people from other places have moved to our community because of the excellent location and the convenient public transportation there. So we do need a shopping mall to meet our daily demand.

What's more, a shopping mall can create more jobs for local people and increase the revenue of local government. If the shopping mall have been constructed, numerous shops would be opened. Each shop need employees, and the shop mall need many managers to make it work regularly. In addition, a shopping mall will attract large numbers of people to go there. A lot of visitors will consume at there, and they will increase the revenue to our local government.

Admittedly, I also want a performing art center to be built in our community, and a hotel is not bad too. But a shopping mall is the best choice considering the current situation of our community. I think we should first meet the needs of daily consumption of people there, not to mention that there is a performing art center in the nearby community.  Furthermore, because our community has no big shopping mall, there are few visitors. So a hotel is unnecessary at all. Only after a shopping mall has been built, would a lot of people visited there or even moved to there, then we might in need of an art performing center and a hotel in our community.

For reasons mentioned above, I do insist that we should introduce a shopping mall at first.

谢谢老师~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
50
寄托币
2
注册时间
2016-1-19
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2016-1-19 11:53:52 来自手机 |显示全部楼层
占座

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
50
寄托币
15
注册时间
2016-1-19
精华
0
帖子
2
发表于 2016-1-19 13:11:11 |显示全部楼层
占位

使用道具 举报

您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

报offer 祈福 爆照
回顶部 我要纠错