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[主题活动] 揭秘托福GRE作文电子评分器-元月20日晚公开课习作收集帖 [复制链接]

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:11:30 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 Twinkle39 于 2016-1-20 19:23 编辑

When it comes to the quality of learning, I think it is the degree the students master the knowledge which specific level of education requires. With this definition, I fundamentally disagree with the claim that all levels of education are limited by competition. Because different level education has different goals, in my opinion, when learning mostly involves memorizing facts,  appropriate competition for high grades could be an approach to improve the quality of learning, but overemphasizing grades does the opposite, when the purpose of education is comprehension of knowledge and innovation, pursuing high scores can hardly be meaning.

Competition for high scores a method for promoting the quality of learning when it comes to mechanical memorizing. Imagine there is a factory holds a knowledge contest of safety rules which are boring to learn, workers with the highest scores win the contest which has a reward. Workers who win the contest must have mastered the safety rules very well and workers in the contest, through competition for high scores, effectively master the safety rules and apply them in the contest, even in their daily working. In this case, a contest with competition for scores is helpful for improving the quality of learning boring safety rules. And the same is true of junior high school students and below, which their studying mostly involves memorizing the basic facts and formulations, competing for scores could be beneficial to master the basic knowledge which will be the foundation of their future studying.

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:13:27 来自手机 |显示全部楼层
A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

According to the letter, the study demonstrated the relationship between rhesus monkeys' birth order and individuals' stimulation levels.But there're still alternative explanations accounting for the illustrated phenomenon against that argument.

  At the beginning, such assumption should be established on a large size of representative sample in statistics. Due to the experiment in this argument, the sample size of those eighteen chosen rhesus monkeys is too small to represent their entire species. I


  Secondly, the original explanation isn't persuasive to verify comparing two species under the same circumstances. The argument mistook human infants' explanation for the reference to rhesus monkeys' similar situation without a controlled experiment, whose result is supposed to be based on keeping all the other variables fixed except for the crucial hormone cortisol level condition.Moreover, the argument didn't explain the physical mechanism related to firstborn humans and firstborn infant monkeys. If there are any differences between those two species, the original explanation will be incorrect. The author should dwell on the cohesion between the human race and rhesus monkeys.

Last but not least, other elements like rhesus monkeys' age, their habitat's environment quality and individuals' differences should also be taken into consideration to the explanation. For example, different age results in various levels of metabolism which will influence an individual's levels of stimulation instead of the birth order. Another instance is the quality of their environment. A terrible habit threatening rhesus monkeys' survival will also increase the hormone cortisol level as a stimulus. Finally, the situation varies from individual to individual. Individuals' difference should also be taken into the explanation. Some individuals incline to be sensitive to the changing environment and react dramatically to the stimulus.

  In summary, the argument should explicate relevant experimental statistics, methods and environment. The author had better revaluate the original explanation by excluding all the other critical influential factors before drawing the final conclusion.占座

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:14:08 |显示全部楼层
占座~~

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:14:58 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 洋葱大叔 于 2016-1-20 21:39 编辑

支持,占楼!

粘贴的是王老师提供的素材,供找错练习。
When it comes to the quality of learning, I think it is the degree the students master the knowledge which specific level of education requires. With this definition, I fundamentally disagree with the claim that all levels of education are limited by competition. Because different level education has different goals, in my opinion, when learning mostly involves memorizing facts,  appropriate competition for high grades could be an approach to improve the quality of learning, but overemphasizing grades does the opposite, when the purpose of education is comprehension of knowledge and innovation, pursuing high scores can hardly be meaning.

Competition for high scores a method for promoting the quality of learning when it comes to mechanical memorizing. Imagine there is a factory holds a knowledge contest of safety rules which are boring to learn, workers with the highest scores win the contest which has a reward. Workers who win the contest must have mastered the safety rules very well and workers in the contest, through competition for high scores, effectively master the safety rules and apply them in the contest, even in their daily working. In this case, a contest with competition for scores is helpful for improving the quality of learning boring safety rules. And the same is true of junior high school students and below, which their studying mostly involves memorizing the basic facts and formulations, competing for scores could be beneficial to master the basic knowledge which will be the foundation of their future studying.



<error_type> sentence fragment </error_type>
<incorrect>Competition for high scores is a method for promoting the quality of learning when it comes to mechanical memorizing错误的句子 放在这里</incorrect>

<error_type> run-on sentence </error_type>
<incorrect>nil</incorrect>


<error_type> subject-verb agreement </error_type>
<incorrect>nil</incorrect>  

<error_type> there be miscontruction </error_type>
<seemingly_incorrect>nil</seemingly_incorrect>  


<error_type> word form </error_type>
<seemingly_incorrect>nil/seemingly_incorrect>

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:15:25 |显示全部楼层
Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Which point of view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.  

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:15:33 来自手机 |显示全部楼层
刚考完,占楼

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:16:36 |显示全部楼层
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发表于 2016-1-20 19:16:36 来自手机 |显示全部楼层
Undemonstrative 发表于 2016-1-19 14:51
本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。
Wh ...

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:16:42 |显示全部楼层
本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。 - 寄托ID:william-H

习题类型:GRE argument

题目:The following appeared in an article in the Grandview Beacon.

"For many years the city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. Given such developments, some city commissioners argue that the symphony can now be fully self-supporting, and they recommend that funding for the symphony be eliminated from next year's budget."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

The commissioners argue that the symphony can now be fully self-supporting. Based on this conclusion, they recommend to cut off the funding for the symphony from next year’s budget. To support the argument, they mention the increase in both private contributions as well as the attendance, and the symphony’s new pricing strategy for next year. At first glance, the argument seems reasonable. However, after a deep examination, we still need the answers for a number of questions before we could be fully convinced.

The commissioners only provide the relative number of the contribution, but we still need to ask several questions about the revenue of the symphony. It might be possible that the symphony only received 10 dollars last year, the 200 percentage increase still means nothing. Even if the private contribution is 10000 dollars, which seems to be a large amount of money, it does not necessarily mean the symphony is financially self-sufficient. If the private contributions only meet 5% of the total costs of the symphony, the supporting function is still very limited. Even if the private contribution really helps the symphony to be financially self-sufficient last year, we still don’t know whether it can persist. It might be possible that the one or two businessmen made a big contribution due to an interest in the symphony and maybe they would switch to Jazz music next year.
Generally speaking  
Since the commissioners mention about the audience attendance, we would like to ask how the tickets revenue changed.  What if the attendances are still far below the expectation of covering the cost of symphony even after it has doubled last year? It might be possible that 300 capacity concert hall only have 50 audiences’ attendance.  Another kind of possibility is that audience did not pay anything for the performance or only paid a very small amount. Under such scenario, the revenue may not cover the cost of the symphony. In addition, the commissioners only mention the audience for the concerts-in-the-park series were doubled. How about other performances? We don’t know, maybe attendance for other performance decreased. The commissioners still need to analyze the reasons for the increasing of the attendance. If the specific reasons, such as symphony anniversary  or a group of famous artists’ participation, only appear last year, it is not guaranteed that the positive change could continue.

More questions regarding the plan of raising ticket price need to be addressed. Will the attendance change after the increase of the ticket prices? Those commissioners take for granted that the symphony will not lose audiences no matter how much the ticket prices ended to be. However, as we all know that there is a mutual correlation relationship existing between ticket prices and attendance. A higher charge may scare away many audiences who are sensitive to the price, which will cause the unexpected decease of the revenue instead of achieving the predicted result.

Granted that the symphony is able to be fully self-supporting, the argument is not likely to persuade us to accept this conclusion. By giving financial support to culture events, the government can give the society positive guidance in spirit. And the symphony plays an importance role in promoting the cultural development. Without fully evaluating the advantages of providing financial support, simply cease the funding seems to be unreasonable.

We would be delighted to know that the symphony will have a better financial state next year. However, before the commissioners could answer the questions above, we can’t accept that the symphony can be fully self-supporting and the funding should be eliminated from next year’s budget.

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:16:45 |显示全部楼层

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:17:42 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 xsp1996 于 2016-1-20 19:21 编辑

本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。
寄托ID:xsp1996

习作类型:托福
题目: Agree or disagree: There is no reason to be impolite (rude) to anther person.


习作正文:  

Although an easy-going person has few enemies, it is unbearable for them to be polite to anyone including the opposites. For me, I, without any hesitation, will oppose the opinion that there is no reason to be impolite to another person. And I have several reasons to support my argument.
Firstly, some people really have bad manners and they just want to offend you without any reason. They are just accustomed to it. Saying something rude to them is a perfect to cast a warning that you are angry with them and if they don't leave you away, you would take some more offensive actions such as fighting or calling the police. However, if you just think there is no reason to be rude to them, they probably consider you as a man with little courage and they will become more motivated to hurt you. Thus, taking some rude actions to the enemies is a reasonable way to illustrate warning.
On top of that, a person with polite manners all the time has the potential to lose the ability of critical thinking, which is considered as a significant factor to evaluate a person. Critical thinking means people can have a negative attitude towards everything including the authorities. It is especially important in the scientific research. During the past few decades, several breakthroughs in the science are started with casting doubt on the popular consensus. There is no doubt that people can hardly raise some opposite opinion with good manners. It is really hard to imagine the circumstance that one person stands up and says ‘I totally oppose your opinion' with a smile and soft voice. So if we want to maintain the ability of critically thinking, by all means we are supposed to abandon the thought that there is no reason to be rude to others.
Finally, person who avoid rude actions radically is hard to make any friends. Others tend to recognize the easy-going person as lack of principles and those people are unreliable.
In conclusion, it is safe to say that there is a few reasons to be rude to another person and politeness should be considered as a basic principle to deal with people. However, I have never denied that we have the right and necessity to be rude to others and defend ourselves under particular circumstances.

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:17:52 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 葆芙露莎 于 2016-1-20 21:59 编辑

本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。
寄托ID:葆芙露莎

习作类型:托福独立作文
题目:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
At university and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and should receive equal financial support.


When it comes to the quality of learning, I think it is the degree the students master the knowledge which specific level of education requires. With this definition, I fundamentally disagree with the claim that all levels of education are limited by competition. Because different level education has different goals, in my opinion, when learning mostly involves memorizing facts,  appropriate competition for high grades could be an approach to improve the quality of learning, but overemphasizing grades does the opposite, when the purpose of education is comprehension of knowledge and innovation, pursuing high scores can hardly be meaning.

Competition for high scores a method for promoting the quality of learning when it comes to mechanical memorizing. Imagine there is a factory holds a knowledge contest of safety rules which are boring to learn, workers with the highest scores win the contest which has a reward. Workers who win the contest must have mastered the safety rules very well and workers in the contest, through competition for high scores, effectively master the safety rules and apply them in the contest, even in their daily working. In this case, a contest with competition for scores is helpful for improving the quality of learning boring safety rules. And the same is true of junior high school students and below, which their studying mostly involves memorizing the basic facts and formulations, competing for scores could be beneficial to master the basic knowledge which will be the foundation of their future studying.

修改:
1)
<error_type> sentence fragment </error_type>

<incorrect>Competition for high scores is a method for promoting the quality of learning when it comes to mechanical memorizing.</incorrect>

2)
<error_type> run-on sentence </error_type>

<incorrect> Because different level of education has different goals, in my opinion, appropriate competition for high grades could be an approach to improve the quality of learning when learning mostly involves memorizing facts, while overemphasizing grades does the opposite when the purpose of education is comprehension of knowledge and innovation.</incorrect>

<incorrect>Workers who won the contest must have mastered the safety rules very well; through competition for high scores, they effectively master the safety rules and apply them in the contest, even in their daily working.</incorrect>

<incorrect>And the same is true for junior high school students and below whose studying mostly involves memorizing the basic facts and formulations, competing for scores could be beneficial to master the basic knowledge which will be the foundation of their future studying.</incorrect>


3)
<error_type> subject-verb agreement </error_type>

<incorrect>Competition for high scores is a method for promoting the quality of learning when it comes to mechanical memorizing.</incorrect>


4)
<error_type> there be miscontruction </error_type>

<seemingly_incorrect>Imagine there is a factory holding a knowledge contest of safety rules which is boring to learn, and workers with the highest scores win the contest would get a reward. </seemingly_incorrect>   


5)
<error_type> word form </error_type>

<seemingly_incorrect>When it comes to the quality of learning, I think it is the degree the students obtain the knowledge which specific level of education requires.</seemingly_incorrect>  

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寄托兑换店纪念章

发表于 2016-1-20 19:18:45 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 shanshan3 于 2016-1-20 21:36 编辑

本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。
寄托ID:shanshan3

习作类型:托福
题目:
Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Which point of view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.

习作正文:
Higher education has been a controversial issue for several decades. Different people has diverse views. The meaning of university study, the aim of higher education, and what contents should a college student acquire are all important issues that people often talk about. There are one topic always draw people’s eyes - are classes mandatory or optional for students? From my perspective, I think that it’s better for students to own the choices on attending one specific class or not.

People always says that the responsibility of students is going to classes. But the goal of university students should not be just attending classes. University should be a safe and free place for students to find their ambitions, interest, the direction of future career and so on, and those things can not be found if students just study in classes. Students need time to do many other things. For example, if a student who is very talented in violet want to attend a music concert interview at 2 p.m, but there are a mandatory economic class at that time too, so he can’t go to the interview. Maybe he would become a violet artist, but he losted this chance.

Moreover, requiring students to attend classes would cause the waste of resource, not just class time, but also faculties’ energy. To make sure everyone on class, the professor should use class time to call the roll, and other faculties should use a system to evaluate the present times of students. Those all use resources. However, the effectiveness is unknown. Because if a student who was interested in the topic of one class, he would listen carefully, but if a student who was bored about the class contents, maybe he would just sleep over. So, as they always says, the  interest is the best teacher. Students have options to go to classes is presumably better for resources usage.

At last, most of the college students are above 18, so they can make their choices of their lives. University should offer a liberal environment for them to prepare themselves for stepping in society freely.

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:18:48 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 verne91 于 2016-1-20 19:26 编辑

本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。 - 寄托ID:verne91


When it comes to the quality of learning, I think it is the degree the students master the knowledge which specific level of education requires. With this definition, I fundamentally disagree with the claim that all levels of education are limited by competition. Because different level education has different goals, in my opinion, when learning mostly involves memorizing facts,  appropriate competition for high grades could be an approach to improve the quality of learning, but overemphasizing grades does the opposite, when the purpose of education is comprehension of knowledge and innovation, pursuing high scores can hardly be meaning.

Competition for high scores a method for promoting the quality of learning when it comes to mechanical memorizing. Imagine there is a factory holds a knowledge contest of safety rules which are boring to learn, workers with the highest scores win the contest which has a reward. Workers who win the contest must have mastered the safety rules very well and workers in the contest, through competition for high scores, effectively master the safety rules and apply them in the contest, even in their daily working. In this case, a contest with competition for scores is helpful for improving the quality of learning boring safety rules. And the same is true of junior high school students and below, which their studying mostly involves memorizing the basic facts and formulations, competing for scores could be beneficial to master the basic knowledge which will be the foundation of their future studying.

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发表于 2016-1-20 19:19:10 来自手机 |显示全部楼层
占座^_^

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