揭秘托福GRE作文电子评分器-元月20日晚公开课习作收集帖

葆芙露莎UID：3603989

本人授权寄托ID tesolchina持有人使用本人的习作及参加本次寄托公开课的练习答案作为科研、教学用途。
寄托ID：葆芙露莎

习作类型：托福独立作文
题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
At university and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and should receive equal financial support.


When it comes to the quality of learning, I think it is the degree the students master the knowledge which specific level of education requires. With this definition, I fundamentally disagree with the claim that all levels of education are limited by competition. Because different level education has different goals, in my opinion, when learning mostly involves memorizing facts,  appropriate competition for high grades could be an approach to improve the quality of learning, but overemphasizing grades does the opposite, when the purpose of education is comprehension of knowledge and innovation, pursuing high scores can hardly be meaning.

Competition for high scores a method for promoting the quality of learning when it comes to mechanical memorizing. Imagine there is a factory holds a knowledge contest of safety rules which are boring to learn, workers with the highest scores win the contest which has a reward. Workers who win the contest must have mastered the safety rules very well and workers in the contest, through competition for high scores, effectively master the safety rules and apply them in the contest, even in their daily working. In this case, a contest with competition for scores is helpful for improving the quality of learning boring safety rules. And the same is true of junior high school students and below, which their studying mostly involves memorizing the basic facts and formulations, competing for scores could be beneficial to master the basic knowledge which will be the foundation of their future studying.

修改：
1)
<error_type> sentence fragment </error_type>

<incorrect>Competition for high scores is a method for promoting the quality of learning when it comes to mechanical memorizing.</incorrect>

2)
<error_type> run-on sentence </error_type>

<incorrect> Because different level of education has different goals, in my opinion, appropriate competition for high grades could be an approach to improve the quality of learning when learning mostly involves memorizing facts, while overemphasizing grades does the opposite when the purpose of education is comprehension of knowledge and innovation.</incorrect>

<incorrect>Workers who won the contest must have mastered the safety rules very well; through competition for high scores, they effectively master the safety rules and apply them in the contest, even in their daily working.</incorrect>

<incorrect>And the same is true for junior high school students and below whose studying mostly involves memorizing the basic facts and formulations, competing for scores could be beneficial to master the basic knowledge which will be the foundation of their future studying.</incorrect>


3)
<error_type> subject-verb agreement </error_type>

<incorrect>Competition for high scores is a method for promoting the quality of learning when it comes to mechanical memorizing.</incorrect>


4)
<error_type> there be miscontruction </error_type>

<seemingly_incorrect>Imagine there is a factory holding a knowledge contest of safety rules which is boring to learn, and workers with the highest scores win the contest would get a reward. </seemingly_incorrect>   


5)
<error_type> word form </error_type>

<seemingly_incorrect>When it comes to the quality of learning, I think it is the degree the students obtain the knowledge which specific level of education requires.</seemingly_incorrect>