ARGUMENT12求点评

圆脸猫头鹰UID：3670382

时间来不及了，还有一点没写……
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Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by 30 percent. Potential employers, looking at this dramatic rise in grades, believe that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement; as a result, Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.

The argument claims that Omega University should stop the process of evaluating their professors among students, because the grades of students become higher and the higher grades couldn’t reflect student true ability. And worrying that students couldn’t get a job after graduation, the university shouldn’t continue the evaluation. There are some misleading information in the claiming, such as the grades, the aim and the connection between the reasoning and conclusion.

First of all, it is feared that grades couldn’t accurately reflect the student achievement. However, we couldn’t make sure the grades could reflect their ability accurately even though the evaluation hasn’t been actualized. So we need to more information to evaluate the argument. For example, whether students become more willing to follow their teacher or join in the class conversation after the new procedure. It’s possible that because students become more serious on studying, they got a higher grade. What’s more, because of the evaluation, teacher could know what their students want and pay more attention on the communication with students during class. So because of the evaluation, the whole class environment will become more energetic and positive, and students could learn more during class and get a higher grade.

Secondly, in order to make sure that students be more successful at getting a great jobs than other university, we should not only focus on the grades, but also give students more opportunity to show what they want and give the chance for students ability development. And the evaluation progress is a great way for students to show their desire. Because if students complain that some teachers only read the academic books and don’t tell students where the knowledge which leans form these books could apply on, teachers will know that they should improve.

In sum, we need more information to further evaluate the conclusion
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谢谢

若如此UID：3649064

你的组句能力尚待提升, 以及之前说过的主观语气尽量去掉.
各种开头And , 还有because ...之类的不要太多

圆脸猫头鹰UID：3670382

若如此 发表于 2016-4-2 07:32
你的组句能力尚待提升, 以及之前说过的主观语气尽量去掉.
各种开头And , 还有because ...之类的不要太多

嗯嗯！谢谢~