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[主题活动] [ AW 4.0 诊断计划 ] 正式来袭! (请仔细阅读规矩) [复制链接]

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发表于 2016-8-15 14:05:26 |显示全部楼层
若如此 发表于 2016-8-14 14:11
个人建议: 每个主题看1~2篇, 并不需要全部看完. 而且练习一篇看一篇, 每篇写3次( 第一次自己写, 第二次看 ...

谢谢斑竹耐心回复!GRE栽在作文上了,真的不想再考

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寄托兑换店纪念章 2015 US-applicant 寄托16周年纪念勋章 香港offer勋章 满2年在任版主 19周年勋章

发表于 2016-8-15 15:24:06 |显示全部楼层
三面夏薇 发表于 2016-8-15 14:05
谢谢斑竹耐心回复!GRE栽在作文上了,真的不想再考

每天两三个小时练习AW足以, 关键是仔细分析自己的不足, 才能有所提高

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发表于 2016-9-28 22:44:45 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 若如此 于 2016-9-29 13:59 编辑

1. 个人基础
考过T了,独立写作只拿到fair, 综合写作拿到Good, 写作只拿到22,总分99。6月考过一次G,V153,Q166,AW3.0。准备10月底重考一次G,主要是想提高AW的成绩。本人在美国念的硕士,毕业论文也是全英文写的,按道理应该写作不会有这么大问题,但是一旦遇到这种标准化考试,短时间内很难把文章写得有条理。。。。

2. 具体问题(highly recommended)
正在积极治疗AW的问题,想要找到写作上老是出现短板的原因。
请提供一篇AW( 如果是Issue和Argument觉得有问题请分开两楼回复)的:
Argument No.2

The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

1. 全文中心论点
The letter suggests a correlation between birth order and individual's level of stimulation. Reasonable as it may first appear, the argument is not tenable with close scrutiny.

第一段:The study bases on evidences found in stimulating situations where monkey and human produce cortisol,which is not convincing.

第二段:the argument fails to exclude the possibility of influence from age as it talks about the differences between firstborn human/monkey and offspring.

第三段:the evidence drawn from pregnant money is even less convincing than the former two. The explanation to higher levels of cortisol provided by first-time mother is various.

2. 你觉得最需要改进的一段( 完整贴出 )

Thirdly, the evidence drawn from pregnant money is even less convincing than the former two. The explanation to higher levels of cortisol provided by first-time mother is various. The excitement or nervousness of being a mum can be a possible reason, as those who had had several offspring are more experienced at giving birth to newcomers. It is also reasonable to have such reaction when the first-time mother is younger than those with several babies.

3. 自我分析认为存在的问题
Argument的写作重点不是很清楚。论点之间的关系不是很清晰。。。


最后的最后, 请各位诊断完的版友 AW 出分后及时反馈下,谢谢( 前提是每天都有投入一定时间在AW上 )

版友们赶紧来吧~

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发表于 2016-9-29 08:50:11 |显示全部楼层
有用有用,谢谢版主

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发表于 2016-10-2 23:36:39 |显示全部楼层
nora^^ 发表于 2016-9-28 22:44
1. 个人基础
考过T了,独立写作只拿到fair, 综合写作拿到Good, 写作只拿到22,总分99。6月考过一次G,V153 ...

我个人建议练习argument的话 首先可以结合我的博客里的示范来比对 因为argument的内容相对是固定的 你可以看看你找的point和我找的有什么区别  
另外,这道题好偏门 初学的话 选些比较热门重复较多的题目更好

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发表于 2016-10-3 18:42:41 |显示全部楼层
赞!!!

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发表于 2016-11-27 13:21:33 |显示全部楼层
11月16日 占楼
个人情况 还有5天考G 一战作文裸考3分 托福作文20分 这周看了大师的文章然后写了第一篇
2 问题
感觉写不出很高级的作文,另外字数也达不到要求
ISSUE 1 As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

The passage holds the idea that the capability of thinking will deteriorate due to more and more technology solving the problem. In my opinion. I take a cautious negative position.
First, Technology is only a tool. What make a task get done is the human mind actually. For example, in design industry, with the famous software Photoshop, artist can draw whatever they want in a tiny computer. But as a matter of fact, without the ability of thinking, even the master of Photoshop can not create a real masterpiece. Second, even if people count more and more on advanced technology, there are still many problems that technology can not solve.  Especially in art and literature field. Obviously there is nothing to do with technology for a writer to compose a novel or a musician to compose a song. Last, what technology can solve is simple. Such as cutting machine, washing machine. None of these has impact on the ability of humans to think.
However, inevtiablely, technology can have bad influence on the ability of human thinking. First, with the help of technology, individuals get free of their hands and have more leisure time. More leisure time makes them lazy. It is a commonplace that people spend more time watching TVs, hanging out or sleeping. This surly deteriorate the ability of humans to think. Second, with technological machine around people's daily life, they will get used to it and get insulate from the work or study.
In total, technology is kind of a ""double cross sword", For making a better use of technology, I think we should make some improvement when we apply technology to our lives. First, technology should be used to solve demanding work such as conveying loads, sorting things. Second, while technology is dong its work, we should stand by and do observations to make a full understand of the problem instead of walk away.
Although the assertion that  technology can deteriorate human mind under the circumstance that people rely on it to solve problem is reasonable in some ways. I still negate it because the disadvantages can be weakened and the advantages would benefit us to some extent.
谢谢!

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寄托兑换店纪念章 2015 US-applicant 寄托16周年纪念勋章 香港offer勋章 满2年在任版主 19周年勋章

发表于 2016-11-27 14:17:57 |显示全部楼层
daddyz 发表于 2016-11-27 13:21
11月16日 占楼
个人情况 还有5天考G 一战作文裸考3分 托福作文20分 这周看了大师的文章然后写了第一篇
2  ...

同学 , 请认真看下发帖规则, 请不要全篇贴出

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发表于 2020-6-29 20:38:07 |显示全部楼层
Good

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发表于 2020-6-29 20:38:19 |显示全部楼层
Great

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