issue31

tianxingUID：154299

[B]31.Money spent on research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial.[/B]

With the rapid development and application of science and technology as well as the benefits coming after to the society and human being, people regard money spent on research as a good investment, but some may be afraid of whether it is valuable for the investment because a few results of the research are controversial.  I strongly agree with the statement above, that is, no matter what the results will be, it deserves to invest money on research.

To begin with, both society and human being have obtained countless benefits from researches, including various kinds of inventions applied in daily life and different sorts of theories instructing social activities.  Although some of them are found out or invented by accident, the majority of these useful conclusions have been researched for a long period of time, during which they cost a lot of money.  To some extent, ample fund is a necessity of research, otherwise, some researches will be only dream forever rather than be accomplished.  For instance, before a novel type of automobile comes into the market, manufacturer should make a series of tests in order to insure every product is security, and if lacking of money, the tests could never be done, as a result consumers will always concern about their safety rather than enjoy the convenience when they drive the automobiles.

In addition, money invested on research will usually return a good favor towards society and individual than any other investments such as real estate and so forth.  Common investment could gain economical and some social return at most, nevertheless, the results of research will not only bring the benefits mentioned above, but also could spur the improvement of people's living and the development of society.  A case in point is that, since human enter the information era, almost all the countries invest quantity of money to the researches of computer science and correlative industries, for they know the importance of these researches and are not willing to be fallen behind the time, moreover, with the mature of global network, information technology has become one of the most important factors of social economy increasing.

Admittedly, some researches are controversial because the results of them might arouse some problems, such as whether human should spend money on the research of cloning various of creatures due to the ethic, however, people ought to put their insight in a long term.  After the Challenger Accident happened, lots of people doubted again the value of the dangerous research of exploring universe, fortunately, under the unremitting effort of the brave and cling scientists as well as the enough investment of governments, people have successfully conquer the moon one time after another, and will gradually explore the unknown and endless space.  It manifests adequately that money invest on research will be valuable, even the results once were controversial.  Similarly, according to the benefits that technique of cloning may brings to both the fields of agriculture and physiology as well as other potential advantages, people should ignore the bias to the technology and invest money on this research.  

In summary, as all these analyzed above, more people may accept the viewpoint that it is a good investment to spend money on research, the controversy of the results of some research will vanish naturally after people enjoy the benefits these researches bring to them.

needleUID：158900

占个座。

needleUID：158900

31.Money spent on research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial.

[下次最好把提纲一起贴上来吧！改的时候比较容易弄清楚你的思路。]

With the rapid development and application of science and technology as well as the benefits coming after to the society and human being, people regard money spent on research as a good investment, but some may be afraid of whether it [it指代什么] is valuable for the investment because a few results of the research are controversial. I strongly agree with the statement above, that is, no matter what the results will be, it deserves to invest money on research. [开头观点阐述得很明确]

To begin with, both society and human being have obtained countless benefits from researches, including various kinds of inventions applied in daily life and different sorts of theories instructing social activities[这句话作为本段TS跟主题没有很好的结合。要记住论证的是投资是否值得，而不仅仅是人类从研究收益与否。]. Although some of them are found out or invented by accident, the majority of these useful conclusions have been researched for a long period of time, during which they cost a lot of money. To some extent, ample fund is a necessity of [a] research, [;] otherwise, some researches will be only dream forever rather than be accomplished. For instance, before a novel type of automobile comes into the market, manufacturer[s，或者前面加the] should make a series of tests in order to insure every product is security[secure], and if lacking of money, the tests could never be done, as a result consumers will [would] always concern about their safety rather than enjoy the convenience when they drive [were driving] the automobiles.
[Body1论证的有点乱。TS句写的是人类从研究获益，然后写了资金是研究的必需品（这个似乎更应该放进TS句中去）。后面举的汽车的例子，是说没钱做安全性试验将如何。段尾没有总结，要注意。]

In addition, money invested on research will usually return a good favor towards society and individual than any other investments such as real estate and so forth.[多么武断的一句话！从何处比较了投资房地产的社会效益和个人效益低于投资研究？] Common investment could [can] gain economical[这个词和economic有区别，用错了] and some social return at most, nevertheless, the results of research will not only bring the benefits mentioned above, but also could [can] spur [spur+物做宾语的用发我不确定，一般都是接人的] the improvement of people's living [living? life?] and the development of society[这句话跟上面的TS句一样武断。从何处比较的一般投资就at most有那些return，而达不到你说的research的回报呢？]. A case in point is that, since human enter[ed] the information era, almost all the countries invest quantity[-ies] of money to the researches of computer science and correlative industries, for they know the importance of these researches and are not willing to be fallen [be fallenàfall] behind the time,[;或者断开] moreover, with the mature of global network, information technology has become one of the most important factors of social economy increasing.

[body2想要论证的是投资研究比投资其他好，但是不成功。比较做得很武断，没有站得住脚的论据。举的例子顶多证明IT业重要，要投资，或者已经在投资，但是如何就作为research的代表，比投资其他的强了，没有任何的说明。关于return，说得过于想当然，所以肤浅。]

Admittedly, some researches are controversial because the results of them might arouse some problems, such as whether human should spend money on the research of cloning various of creatures due to the ethic, however, people ought to put their insight in a long term. After the Challenger Accident happened, lots of people doubted again the value of the dangerous research of exploring [the] universe, fortunately, under the unremitting effort of the brave and cling[这是个v.,但是clinging作为adj.的意思也不是坚持不懈的，而是依赖心强的] scientists as well as the enough investment of governments[这个是不是应该顺应主题放在前面表示强调], people have successfully conquer the moon one time after another[conquer the moon?这话有点大……而且，也不太合适吧！], and will gradually explore the unknown and endless space. It manifests adequately that money invest[ed] on research will be valuable, even the results once were controversial. Similarly, according to the benefits that technique of cloning may brings to both the fields of agriculture and physiology as well as other potential advantages, people should ignore the bias to the technology and invest money on this research[这二者有可比性吗？advantages说得如此笼统，到底是什么advantages呢？不能说一样东西的好处就是有好处吧？].
[body3终于说到了题目本身。句子很流畅，写的感觉底气很足J 但是，还是要打击一下，论证的证据依然不足。举了探索太空的例子，这个例子其实不错。但是克隆的例子分析的不到位。究竟人类为何应当ignore克隆可能产生的不良后果，继续投资呢？好处究竟在哪儿？而这一个例子要代表全部结果有疑问的研究，足够吗？需要从例子中做抽象的分析，显然写的也不够。]

In summary, as all these analyzed above, more people may accept the viewpoint that it is a good investment to spend money on research, the controversy of the results of some research will vanish naturally after people enjoy the benefits these researches bring to them.

[结尾段没什么好说的。

说一下全文。先说论点，这道题目选择全盘肯定的观点是挺罕见的，而且不出所料，论证得十分吃力，而且不能够做到有力和完善。我想楼主应当加深对于“有争议结果的研究”的思考，究竟“争议”在什么地方？两方面，危险和危害。是不是所有研究的危险和危害我们都能够承受？即便将来我们能够承受，我们目前就一定能够承受吗？或者我们目前能够承受，将来就能承受吗？举个例子让楼主思考，为什么爱因斯坦在日本被炸后发表声明反对美国使用原子弹？为什么现在各国有都在忙着销毁核武器？有些研究的结果，不是脆弱的人类能够完全承担的。包括克隆在内，人体克隆部分，楼主应当多了解一些。

行文结构上，有些混乱。]

PracticeUID：164865

I think atomic bomb is not invented by Einstein.

But Einstein indeed suggested Roosevelt to use atomic bomb.

needleUID：158900

sorry...我写得太快了，犯了常识性错误，我的原意是说爱因斯坦发表声明反对美国使用原子弹。
马上修改！谢谢指出！//shy

linakUID：155465

改得好细致啊

tianxingUID：154299

With the rapid development and application of science and technology as well as the benefits coming after to the society and human being, people regard money spent on research as a good investment, but some may be afraid of whether it [it指代什么money spent on research ，考虑到再写一遍就重复了，于是用了it ] is valuable for the investment because a few results of the research are controversial. I strongly agree with the statement above, that is, no matter what the results will be, it deserves to invest money on research. [开头观点阐述得很明确]

To begin with, both society and human being 一定要用复数形式吗？ have obtained countless benefits from researches, including various kinds of inventions applied in daily life and different sorts of theories instructing social activities[这句话作为本段TS跟主题没有很好的结合。要记住论证的是投资是否值得，而不仅仅是人类从研究收益与否。]. Although some of them are found out or invented by accident, the majority of these useful conclusions have been researched for a long period of time, during which they cost a lot of money. [U]To some extent, ample fund is a necessity of [a] research, [;] otherwise, some researches will be only dream forever rather than be accomplished. [/U]  For instance, before a novel type of automobile comes into the market, manufacturer[s，或者前面加the] should make a series of tests in order to insure every product is security[secure], and if lacking of money, the tests could never be done, as a result consumers will [would] always concern about their safety rather than enjoy the convenience when they drive [were driving] the automobiles.
[Body1论证的有点乱。TS句写的是人类从研究获益，然后写了资金是研究的必需品（这个似乎更应该放进TS句中去）。后面举的汽车的例子，是说没钱做安全性试验将如何。段尾没有总结，要注意。]这段没有按常规把首句作为TS，而是将其放在了段中，即划线句，因此显得比较乱

In addition, money invested on research will usually return a good favor towards society and individual than any other investments such as real estate and so forth.[多么武断的一句话！从何处比较了投资房地产的社会效益和个人效益低于投资研究？] Common investment could [can] gain economical[这个词和economic有区别，用错了] and some social return at most, nevertheless, the results of research will not only bring the benefits mentioned above, but also could [can] spur [spur+物做宾语的用发我不确定，一般都是接人的] the improvement of people's living [living? life?] and the development of society[这句话跟上面的TS句一样武断。从何处比较的一般投资就at most有那些return，而达不到你说的research的回报呢？]. A case in point is that, since human enter[ed] the information era, almost all the countries invest quantity[-ies] of money to the researches of computer science and correlative industries, for they know the importance of these researches and are not willing to be fallen [be fallenàfall？？ ] behind the time,[;或者断开] moreover, with the mature of global network, information technology has become one of the most important factors of social economy increasing.

[body2想要论证的是投资研究比投资其他好，但是不成功。比较做得很武断，没有站得住脚的论据。举的例子顶多证明IT业重要，要投资，或者已经在投资，但是如何就作为research的代表，比投资其他的强了，没有任何的说明。关于return，说得过于想当然，所以肤浅。]接受

Admittedly, some researches are controversial because the results of them might arouse some problems, such as whether human should spend money on the research of cloning various of creatures due to the ethic, however, people ought to put their insight in a long term. After the Challenger Accident happened, lots of people doubted again the value of the dangerous research of exploring [the] universe, fortunately, under the unremitting effort of the brave and cling[这是个v.,但是clinging作为adj.的意思也不是坚持不懈的，而是依赖心强的执着是不是clingling？ ] scientists as well as the enough investment of governments[这个是不是应该顺应主题放在前面表示强调], people have successfully conquer the moon one time after another[conquer the moon?这话有点大……而且，也不太合适吧！], and will gradually explore the unknown and endless space. It manifests adequately that money invest[ed] on research will be valuable, even the results once were controversial. Similarly, according to the benefits that technique of cloning may brings to both the fields of agriculture and physiology as well as other potential advantages, people should ignore the bias to the technology and invest money on this research[这二者有可比性吗？advantages说得如此笼统，到底是什么advantages呢？不能说一样东西的好处就是有好处吧？].
[body3终于说到了题目本身。句子很流畅，写的感觉底气很足J 但是，还是要打击一下，论证的证据依然不足。举了探索太空的例子，这个例子其实不错。但是克隆的例子分析的不到位。究竟人类为何应当ignore克隆可能产生的不良后果，继续投资呢？好处究竟在哪儿？而这一个例子要代表全部结果有疑问的研究，足够吗？需要从例子中做抽象的分析，显然写的也不够。]

In summary, as all these analyzed above, more people may accept the viewpoint that it is a good investment to spend money on research, the controversy of the results of some research will vanish naturally after people enjoy the benefits these researches bring to them.

[结尾段没什么好说的。

说一下全文。先说论点，这道题目选择全盘肯定的观点是挺罕见的，而且不出所料，论证得十分吃力，而且不能够做到有力和完善。我想楼主应当加深对于“有争议结果的研究”的思考，究竟“争议”在什么地方？两方面，危险和危害。是不是所有研究的危险和危害我们都能够承受？即便将来我们能够承受，我们目前就一定能够承受吗？或者我们目前能够承受，将来就能承受吗？举个例子让楼主思考，为什么爱因斯坦在日本被炸后发表声明反对美国使用原子弹？为什么现在各国有都在忙着销毁核武器？有些研究的结果，不是脆弱的人类能够完全承担的。包括克隆在内，人体克隆部分，楼主应当多了解一些。

行文结构上，有些混乱。]

非常感谢needle的细心批改，不论是批评还是建议都令我受益匪浅！鞠躬//