issue 同主题写作第四类 8月18-19日

tesolchinaUID：2191404

4)    Challenging the authority (4, 17<68>,  18, 21, 23, 42, 65, 66, 89)

视频链接
今天的视频介绍了PIE模型，指导issue中间段的写作。请大家按照视频中的演示运用PIE模型做两个中间段的分析。一个是范文中间段分析，选出我的范文中的某一个中间段，在每个句子后标出point, information或elaboration。如果发现我的中间段没有使用PIE模型，也请指出[捂脸]。 另一个是自己习作的中间段分析，格式一样，如果发现自己没有使用PIE模型，也应指出并自我检讨。


为减轻大家的负担，写提纲和运用PIE模型分析中间段，完成其中一项即可打卡，但要记得点评楼上喔。另外，请在回帖最后写一小段这段时间学习的经验体会和对本活动的意见、建议。

tesolchinaUID：2191404

这四类题共有10道，都和权威及对权威的挑战有关。17和6关注对教育的定性，究竟是让人更自由，还禁锢人的思想。第18题提出质疑权威与社会福祉的关系。42题则具体关注学生应否质疑授课内容。21和65分别讨论法律是不是应该富有弹性以及公民对良法和恶法的责任。第89题探讨法律能否解决现代社会问题。第23题涉及政府应否限制科研。最后，第4题关注丑闻对解决问题的用处，由于丑闻经常和具有权威和社会影响力的人或机构有关，所以也算在这一类。


4 Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.  


issue 17/68
17)Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. [claim/comparison]

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

68) Some people believe that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. Others believe that formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

18) The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

21 Laws should be flexible enough to take account of various circumstances, times, and places.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.  

23 Governments should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

42 Students should always question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

65 Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

66 People who are the most deeply committed to an idea or policy are also the most critical of it.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

89 Claim: Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system. Reason: Laws cannot change what is in people's hearts or minds.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

东扯扯UID：3763369

21. Laws should be flexible enough to take account of various circumstances, times, and places.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Intro
There is no denying that laws play an indispensable role in maintaining order and harmony of a society, because laws which reflect the mainstream value defend justice for people. Given that time, places and specific occasions all may affect how we perceive justice, I agree that the flexibility of law is of significant importance.

Ts1
First of all, laws should be time-flexible because at different stage, the mainstream value may change significantly after some revolutions.
e.g. some prohibitions on women are not suitable anymore nowadays after the feminism movement
Ts2
In addition to the factor of time, in some countries, there is likewise a huge different between areas out of the religious or historical reasons and a rigid law cannot satisfy such case.
e.g. State law, which is the law of each separate U.S. state, should be flexible to take characteristics in different places into account.
Ts3
Even that time and places are taken into full consideration, some laws should still be flexible enough to take account of various circumstances.
e.g. the punishment for the first offender and habitual one should not be the same

Ts1
First of all, laws should be time-flexible because at different stage, the mainstream value may change significantly after some revolutions. (point) It is the revolution that challenges inveterate values and redefine justice which is the bedrock of law. (elaboration) In other words, inevitable revolutions in the history require the flexibility of law to defend justice better. (elaboration) For example, in the past, the suffrage of women was robbed and it was literately illegal for women to vote, however, universal suffrage as a basis for social equality is well-acknowledged and women suffrage is now a legal right guaranteed by laws after feminism and civil rights movements. (info) That is to say, laws change along with the mainstream value that  universally reflects justice in people’s mind, which makes laws win the acceptance of the people. (elaboration) If laws keep the same as time goes on, they may not be recognized by the next generation, let alone be obeyed, and then the law will lose value. (elaboration)



Body Paragraph of Model Essay
There are two reasons why laws enacted by legislatures should not be flexible. (point)  To begin with, the time and efforts of the Congressmen at federal and state levels are limited. (subpoint)  They can only hold meetings for a certain amount of time each year and there are many items in their legislative agendas. (info) In addition, they often represent different interest groups and it takes them a long time to reach any consensus on any issues. (info) If they have to take into account specific circumstances or times or places when debating a statute, they will never be able to finish their jobs on time. (elaboration) The second reason has to do with the function of laws as the general guide for human behaviors. (subpoint) Laws have to be understood by the general public if they are to be used to regulate people’s behaviors. (info) Given the limited cognitive abilities of the public, the laws have to be clear and concise. (elaboration) If the laws change according to different situations, the public would find it difficult to use the laws to make decisions about their behaviors.  (elaboration)

点评 4楼（弥芥）

1）提纲的框架是否合理？
合理。提几点细节上的个人看法，ts1没有和well-being of a society直接联系起来；ts2在主旨句可以再进一步点明如何有利于社会；ts3中troops and soilders are against the authority跟against society 不完全等同吧，后者更泛一点，我觉得既然是在讨论specific case那就可以更具体化些

2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
例子丰富且合适

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
没有什么问题

芥弥UID：3802147

18) The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种: through classification of key terms in the issue statement，具体来说，将people分类 natural scientists, scholars in humanities, soldiers and policemen

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
Given the complexity of our society,social scientists are always looking for indicators which could effectively reflect the level of soical well-being. Some argue that in order to investigate the well-being of a society, one have to measure the number of people questioning their authority. The greater the number of people against the authority, the higher the level of social welfare. In my opinion, whether the number of people challenging authority could be an appropriate parameter of social welfare depends on which groups of people we are talking about. In realms like science and humanities, more challenges from scholars would portend academic revolution and theoretical breakthrough, which, once applied in reality, would benefit the general public. Yet for soldiers and armies, their direct defiance would destablize the society.

主题句1
For natural scientists, more scholars challenging the established ideas would promote more technological advances, thus greatly benefit the general public.
   e.g. Einstein's theory of relativity, overthrow, Newton's classic physics, reveal cosmic nature, related techonology benefit society
   e.g. Germ theory, challenge, traditional treatment, less infectious case

主题句2
Likewise, the well-being of a society would be enhanced if more scholars in humanities and social science would theoretically rise up against the authority since  government, in order to win public support, would ameliorate social policies to satisfy the general needs.
   e.g. Sartre, French government, existentialism
   e.g. Simone de Beauvoir, the Second Sex, accuse patriarchal society, feminist movement

主题句3
However, when it comes to troops and police, their defiance against the authority, that is their higher commander or government leader,(根据东扯扯意见修改) would cause disorder in the society, thus devastating social well-being.
   e.g. the role of police and troops, safeguade, loyalty
   e.g. the demage of distrust

Likewise, the well-being of a society would be enhanced if more scholars in humanities and social science would use their theories to rise up against the authority since government would revise their policy to satisfy the general needs in order to win public support.(Point) For example, Nobel literature winner, the torch bearer of existentialism movement, Jean Paul Sartre implicitly criticized the ideology of French government and openly delivered public speech supporting students' campaigns.(Information) His antiwar sentiment and focus on humanism implied in many of his dramas and plays raised public awareness and forced French government to adjust its pugnacious foreign policy.(Elaboration) Likewise, prominent feminist Simone de Beauvoir, in her seminal book the Second Sex, defiantly pointed to the patriarchal society as the cold cage of women.(Information)  Her idea promoted the feminist movement and the following campaigns calling for equal rights for women.(Elaboration) Taken together, the defiant spirits implied from famous literature could reveal the truth of society and compel the government to design better public policies.

Model Essay:
Scientists, on the other hand, can benefit the research community and the society as a whole by questioning the leading experts and their theories in the fields.(Point) One of the key features of science that distinguishes itself from pseudoscience is that the scientists and researchers are always open to the possibility that the existing theories and explanations could be wrong.(Information) Through publishing peer-reviewed scientific papers, the researchers need to present their findings to the scientific community and be prepared to answer any challenges that may arise from their peers. (Elaboration) Other members of the research community may try to replicate the studies and challenge the authority of the authors if they come up with some inconsistent results.(Elaboration) The whole process of challenging the authority of one another ensures the rigor of science and the validity of knowledge construction, which are essential for the overall well-being of the modern society.(Elaboration)

点评 9楼（丽丽酱香饼）

1）提纲的框架是否合理？
合理。三个阶段对应三个目的很清晰, get rid of "get into higher education" in elementary school part, better focus on inculcation of social norms and rules to become an obedient child

2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
只有1.2不是很合适，personally think too individual

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
I largely agree with that
but nothing to do with
mind and spirit

经验体会: 有些reasoning gap自己是意识不到的，所以以主题为系列互批作文真的很有帮助。

拒绝失学UID：3827856

Claim: Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system.
Reason: Laws cannot change what is in people's hearts or minds.

Intro
Both the claim and reason can be true in certain ways. Some people may argue that legal restrictions are useful to keep a good order of the whole society, because all the citizens fear punishments, such as penalty and so forth. However, the method of law alone indeed cannot change people’s thoughts and ideas, which may be a dormant bomb exploding in the future. In my opinion, both claims only focus on the effect in the short term. Undeniably, the law is forming our thoughts and ideas in a long run.

TS1
It is undeniable that law does generate favorable effect, since it can correct people’s action efficiently. 【point】 Take the legal system in Singapore for example, which is known for efficiency and strictness.【info】 If we trace the reason why Singapore has so clean street and air, the legal system will certainly be one of the main factors. Thanks to the law, the majority of people in Singapore will not spit or leave rubbish on the street. 【elaboration】 Seemingly, law does solve a great number of problems in modern society.

TS2
However, one of the evident shortcomings of legal system is that it is incapable of changing and purifying what people think about, since the government cannot control people’s minds and thoughts. 【point】Although people can do good superficially, they may disagree with the lawful restrictions in heart. If such a malcontent is serious enough, maybe there will be a remonstrate to topple the government, thus making the country plunge into chaos. Plus, there exists a lot of people, who totally do not care about the law. 【data】 Indeed, if the law does effectively punish the criminals, the rate of criminals will increase incessantly. 【elaboration】If we consider these aspects, pessimistically, we may reach the conclusion that problems cannot be solved by law itself.

TS3
Nonetheless, analysis made above all ignore the longer effect of the law. Law, in a long run, can be the former of the spirit of the whole country, which is just the dream of the Founding Fathers and philosophers in the Western world. 【point】Maybe, this is the ultimate reason why the legal department in American has the name of ‘Department of Justice’, because law represents the idea of justice in people’s heart. 【elaboration】In the ancient Greek, Plato has already put forward such an idea in Republic. Also, Aristotle said that people make decisions out of the law instead of logos, which means rationality. 【data】It is because we cherish the good quality, such as bravery, freedom, hardworking and so on, that we write these principles down in the law. 【elaboration】If we think the claim in this way, law not only change the mind of people, specifically, law is the mind itself. 【elaboration】

wanghaitao199391UID：3704441

老师写的ISSUE 65
Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position. 

To begin with, we should obey the laws on property rights that are relevant to books and culture. (Topic sentence stating the main POINT)For example, if we want to own a book found in a bookstore, we should pay for it instead of stealing it which is a violation of the property rights of the bookstore.(Provide relevant fact or INFORMATION) If we check out a book from the library, we need to return it on time or pay the late fees according to the laws and rules related to the use of library materials.(Explain the implication of the information-ELABORATION ) This is important because books are tangible assets protected by property rights. (Explain the reason of obeying the law-ELABORATION) If we do not obey the laws and get the books illegally, we will infringe other people’s rights to access the same books.  This is why we need to obey just laws.  (Explain the consequence of challenge the law-ELABORATION)

What about the copyright laws? In my opinion, copyright laws are unjust because they restrict people’s access to creative works in an unnecessary way. (Topic sentence stating the main POINT)We need to make a clear distinction between the books protected by property rights and the books protected by copyrights. (Make a difference between two protects-INFORMATION) The former is tangible and owning it would prevent others from accessing it. The latter is intangible in the sense that the book can be reproduced and remixed with other books without compromising other people’s rights to access it. (Offer a further explain of the INFORMATION) With the advent of digital technology and the Internet, books can be copied and distributed around the world with minimal costs and may create enormous opportunities for learning. (Explain the change brought by Internet-INFORMATION )Yet, the publishers have lobbied the legislatures to extend the copyright duration from the initial 20 years (Statute of Anne, 1710) to the author's’ lifetime plus 70 years. (Explain the extending of copy right is nonsense-INFORMATION) The expansion of copyright regime has effectively blocked the access to a great many learning materials of people around the world, especially those from the underprivileged groups. (Explain the bad consequence of copyright laws-ELABORATION)

Some people have tried to resist copyright laws within the legal framework of copyright.(Topic sentence stating the main POINT) A notable example is the Creative Commons Licensing System developed and advocated by cyberlawyer Prof. Lawrence Lessig.(Provide relevant fact or INFORMATION) Through a set of Creative Commons licenses, the authors and creators of cultural works can choose to authorize the public to use their works freely, essentially giving up some of their rights protected by copyright laws. (Offer a further explain of the INFORMATION) Such efforts are legal and effective to help restore the balance of interest between copyright holders and the general public that has been distorted by copyrights. (Explain the effect of copyright laws-ELABORATION) This example illustrates how private individuals can and should resist unjust laws within the legal frameworks.  (Explain the effect of copyright laws-ELABORATION) 

Nevertheless, I do not believe that the legal means is sufficient for challenging the unjust copyright laws.(Topic sentence stating the main POINT) Creative Commons may help some authors to release their works from the bondage of copyright.(Provide relevant fact or INFORMATION) But a great many important creative works and books are still under the control of greedy publishers and corporations that would use copyrights to deprive ordinary citizens of their rights to learning and entertainment.  (INFORMATION) As a result, it is also important for ordinary people to practice civil disobedience against the copyright regime. (Connection between INFORMATION and ELABORATION) For example, instead of buying expensive books from the bookstores, we should try to obtain the e-copies of the books from websites such as Library Genesis and Sina Information Sharing. (Provide INFORMATION in a certain context) These acts of civil disobedience will create pressure on the publishers to change their business models from charging the readers to sponsoring the authors through advertising or government funding. (Explain the implication of the statement-ELABORATION )  In other words, if we want to change the unjust laws, we cannot merely rely on efforts within legal frameworks but have to break the laws in a large scale.  (Explain the implication of the statement-ELABORATION )

People may worry about the legal consequences of practicing civil disobedience against unjust laws. (Topic sentence stating the main POINT)In the case of copyright, this should not be a major concern as unauthorized copying of books and other creative works is so widespread online that the authorities simply cannot afford the resources to enforce the copyright laws.(Explain the implication of the statement-ELABORATION ) So long as increasing number of people practice the so-called “piracy”, we are protected by the sheer number of illegal acts.  (Provide INFORMATION in a certain context)  In fact, when a law can be so easily broken by so many people around the world, there is obviously something wrong with the law rather than with the people breaking the law.  (Explain the reason of the statement-ELABORATION )

我写的issue27.Many important discoveries or creations are accidental: it is usually while seeking the answer to one question that we come across the answer.  
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position， you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position 

“In any given different field, new discovery calls for long-time diligent study since there are so many discoveries done before that all can be utilized to broaden horizon, get background information and lead to new discoveries. (Topic sentence stating the main POINT)In the Renaissance time, persons like Leonardo Da Vinci can accumulate amazing amount of knowledge in several academia because lacking of information in the Middle Age.  (Provide INFORMATION in a certain context) But nowadays, knowledge in typical field can overwhelm us easily and it is hard to be professional in one academia then do some new discoveries.  (Provide further INFORMATION in a certain context)  What’s more, according to a wide spread 1000-hour theory, keep practicing over 1000 hours in certain field can finally bear fruits. (Provide INFORMATION in a certain context)That’s a world-wide acknowledgement of perseverance and long-time working rather than accidental discovery. (Provide INFORMATION in a certain context)  ”
问题：1.Topic sentence太长了，观点不够突出。2.罗列了几条例子，但是没有一条Elaboration来阐述例子为什么能够证明观点，写成了很费劲的brain storming但是因为没有思考过程，导致实际上什么都没有证明，只是放在那了。

keaixiaotangUID：3248795

老师的ISSUE范文
73.Colleges and universities should require all faculty to spend time working outside the
academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.
Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for theposition you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your

中间段
To begin with, not all faculty members can easily find jobs in the professional world, especially when they are only available for a relatively short period of time. （Point）Consider the professors in philosophy and literature for example. While experts in these fields are important for teaching the relevant courses and conducting original research, their skills are not always immediately useful in corporate environment.  (Information-take philosophy and literature for example) If faculty members could not find suitable jobs off campus, the policy would be very difficult to be effectively implemented. (elaboration-one of the satiation when the policy might be useless)
Another negative consequence of this policy is that certain departments such as computer science and electrical engineering may lose some talented professors(Point) Technology companies such as Google and Facebook are constantly hunting for employees with expertise in high-performance computing, data mining and machine learning. Even without such policy, universities have to compete against such companies for talents in these fields.(Information-the situation that some technology companies are hunting for employees with expertise) The policy would provide professors in fields more opportunities to work in such companies without losing their academic jobs. Once they find suitable jobs in these companies who usually offer much better compensation packages, it is likely that they might leave their university positions.(Elaboration-the course of the university losing their faculty members) In other words, the policy may increase the attrition rate of faculty members in certain fields.
Some people may argue that in certain fields such as law and medicine it is important for the academic researchers to stay in touch with the professional world. Working experience outside the universities would help them gain more insights into the fields and become better teachers and researchers. In cases like these, the policy of requiring the faculty members to work outside universities would become unnecessary. Professors interested in professional development will seek job opportunities without such requirements. Those who do not may not perform as well as those who do as researchers and teachers.
In conclusion, the policy may not be feasible for faculty members in certain fields who could not find suitable jobs outside universities. It may also increase the attrition rate of certain departments such as computer science for which there is intense competition for talents. As for those fields where professional working experience is highly valued, the policy is also unnecessary

我的ISSUE
4 )Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.  

Nowadays, with the development of the technology, we use We Media such as Facebook, Twitter every day. We receive a lot of news from them, including scandals. Scandals can be good or bad, real or fake. But they are not all useful. Scandals about social events can improve the efficiency of the government. But we cannot count on the scandals to accelerate the procedure of the processing. Scandals about the super stars just leads to a wrong value of the society. Scandal cannot last for a long time even cannot before they were dealt with.

Admittedly, some scandals about the social events can press the government or relevant authorities to accelerate their procedure of the processing. When a scandal about the faculty member of the government was exposed, that would attract a lot of focus on that which might press the government to deal with that quickly. But we couldn’t rely on the scandals to improve our governments’ efficiency. The public should use their right of supervision of the government. And the government should have the consciousness to be responsible for the public even without any supervision and scandal.

In addition, some privacy scandals are just waste of our time. (Point) We can see scandals about the super stars almost every day in We Media such as Weibo in China. This kind of scandal means to attract the public’s attention and then raise the reporter’s popularity to achieve some kind of interest. They could mislead the teenagers to put their limited energy on others’ privacy which might have a bad influence in their study. (Information) Moreover, that kind of scandals might lead to a wrong value of them. That kind of scandal might lead the teenagers to focus more attention on other’s privacy, including their relatives, their classmates or their friends which can also lead to a bad relationship. (elaboration)
What’s more, scandals might focus our attention, but they can be forgotten in a short time just before they have been handled. In that case, that scandal is just a scandal. They have nothing to do with the solution. Maybe several days later there is a new scandal overlapping it.

ChiuChiKwanUID：3828648

issue 41/67

issue 41 greatness of individuals decided by contemporaries or people after them

The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


para 3

In the field of literature, despite the annual selection of outstanding authors for Nobel prize award, the greatness of authors can only be properly understood by people living after them.(Topic sentences stating the main POINT) One reason is that modern literature is often closely related to politics in such a way that contemporary critics cannot often review literary works without any ideological bias.(Provide information) The 2000 Nobel prize-winning author Gao Xingjian, for example, was criticised by Chinese government for writing politically offensive novels and plays.  Is Gao a truly great writer? To answer this question we may have to wait for 100 years and see if future generations still find his work interesting and relevant. (Further information and offer more details to illustrate) Indeed, the best way to tell whether a literary work is great or not is to see if it can survive the test of time.  Consequently, the greatness of authors has to be probed from a historical perspective. (elaboration)

丽丽酱香饼UID：3764419

17. Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种分类，具体来说，将formal education分为小学高中大学进行讨论

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
From primary school to high school to university, formal education always aims at regularizing students’ behavior and unifying their thinking into the mainstream of specific society. This purpose of education would form a normalized group of people which is benefit to social stability. On the other hand, it is inevitable that special action would be repelled and freedom of fantasy sprit would be restrained.

主题句1
For primary school, the first priority is to teach children basic skills to fit social regulation and rudimentary knowledge to get into higher education, so children would easily become too docile and obedience to build their own thought.
   e.g. teachers in primary school are always trained by the same system, and they teach the same thing in the same way. Children were built as the same model.
   e.g. a case that a mother from Germany sued the teacher of her child in junior grade  because she was taught to read which could restrain imagination thought.

主题句2
To get higher grades to attend to university is the main purpose of high school. Students need to adjust their train of thought in order to suit the examinations.
   e.g. if the examination questions has different solutions, students are taught to choose the standard one
   e.g. rigid management and the singular focus could restrain critical thinking, students would lose the interest in express their own thought

主题句3
Nowadays more and more university tend to take the employment rate as their evaluation, which makes the education utilitarian.
   e.g. students choose curriculum job-oriented
   e.g. studying for occupation narrowed their views


PIE
Teacher’s part:
ISSUE 1
The development of new technologies also challenges those people responsible for
formulating policies and rules regulating the use of technologies.(POINT) The popularity of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter presents a wide variety of social problems such as cyberbullying, hacking and privacy violation that call for the introduction of new rules and policies.(INFORMATION) Government officials, legislators and experts in relevant fields have to work together to address these issues through developing more sophisticated policies and laws.(ELABORATION) For example, Facebook has now gathered a staggeringly large amount of data about its users in digital forms and used the data to make profits in many different ways.(INFORMATION) To address issues like these, the policy makers will of course rely on the state-of-the-art technologies for communications such as email, video conferencing and even Facebook to collect feedback from the users and data from different sources.(ELABORATION) They may also rely on statistical software packages such as SPSS to analyze the data.(ELABORATION) But the technologies can never make the decisions for them.(POINT) They still have to think about these issues from different perspectives and come up with their own decisions.(INFORMATION) As a result, for these policy makers, this statement does not hold true, either.(ELABORATION)


楼层：10

1）长长的冬瓜糖网友提纲的框架是否合理？
合理

2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
例子有点偏专业啊，各种讨论法律，不知道是不是冬瓜糖擅长~

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
1. 注意同意转换
2. 主语不清or even revised frequently and observations of law can hardly be executed anywhere and anytime. ——or even be revised frequently and under observations laws can hardly be executed anywhere and anytime.


经验体会:
写作文好费劲啊。。。
想个例子不容易。。。

有这么个活动按时学习打卡还有小伙伴一起，可以与老师实时互动，感觉很VIP~
活动还是免费的，非常感动感激O(∩_∩)O

和对本活动的意见、建议:
希望老师能给一下每个视频的电子版，方便同步学习复习(*^▽^*)

长长的冬瓜糖UID：3817701

完整题目
89 Claim: Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system. Reason: Laws cannot change what is in people's hearts or minds.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种  分不同情况考虑，claim, reason都同意，但是提出要解释这个问题还有其他原因

开头段全文：With the society developing, many problems can still hardly be solved by laws and the legal system as the statement says. I also regard that laws cannot change people's mind as an important reason for it. However, the situation is contributed to not only by the single reason above, other reasons equally important for accounting for it should not be ignored. Namely, the laws of a country cannot be changed, or even revised frequently and observations of law can hardly be executed anywhere and anytime.

主题句1
It is true that laws cannot change people's mind so that people might not obey the law absolutely.
具体例子或细节
stereotype just like racialist;
extant discrimination toward African American; the riot aroused by white racialists in Virginia

主题句2
However, in order to the account for this problem thoroughly, two other reasons should also be considered. One is that laws in a country, especially some major laws like the constitution of a country are less likely to be changed easily.
具体例子或细节

In China, the revision of laws should follow extremely strict procedures and take a long time; cannot apply to every newly emergent social problems.
即使宪法修正案 allow American laws to revised, the pace of which cannot follow


主题句3
The other reason is that the observation of laws can hardly reach every individual or company at any time.

具体例子或细节
for students, cheat in exams; which is recently banned in the law of Education in China; not every cheating students will be find
for factories remote away from major cities, still emit excessive pollutant into air, river; will not be punished due to limited observation.
for company, financial fraud crime cannot be eliminated；

结尾
As can be seen above all, admittedly, laws cannot change what is in citizen's hearts and thus it is impossible for laws to solve all the problem in the fast-paced society. However, other two reasons involved with laws' cannot being changed frequently and the observation of law should also be divided enough attention from people.

MorfireUID：3747042

21.Laws should be flexible enough to take account of various circumstances, times, and places.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.  

With the mounting number of dilemma cases, people begin to wonder if we should make laws flexible enough to resolve specific cases. From my perspective, we should discuss this issue in terms of emergency circumstances, times during which people have been paying attention to freedom and their own wellbeing, and also basic rules that can not be challenged.

To begin with, there are many emergencies that should be taken into account. （P）There was news about a driver overspeeding to send a pregnant woman to the hospital. (I)Admittedly, he broke the laws, however, what he did was honorable.(I&E) Thus, after a series of discussion, justice determined he deserved no punishment and sent him free. (I)If laws were irreversible, tough and cold, and if that man had gotten a guilty sentence, people might be hindered by the unfairness and no longer dare to do such heroic things to help others.(E) Hence, flexible and humanistic laws are adorable.

Second, as the increasing awareness of freedom with time past, people desire and care more about variety of certain characteristics.（P） In the past, it is illegal to have an affair with the same gender, nevertheless, the whole society tolerate more about minor people, thus, LGBT community are becoming accepted by more and more countries, and laws changed to defend their own rights to pursuit happiness.(I&E)

Even though I strongly hold the position that laws should be flexible , there also are limits and basic rules that can not be touched under any circumstances.（P） For example, having sex with children, even if with their permission, is definitely illegal. (I) Some organizations claim that it is their culture and believes to marry such young children, however, it undermines children’s rights, so a flexible law for such thing is not tolerable.  (I&E)Also, some people assert that their lovers, who are still children, show their willingness to marry them, but we should always state clear that children are not mature enough to decide such things: they may just be hoaxed by some evil adults.  (I)Hence, when it comes to a basic problem, laws should stand on its ground firmly.(E)

In conclusion, some laws are supposed to have more flexibility to defend people in emergency and in minority to encourage virtuous behavior and receive their own wellbeing. On the contrary, laws can not be manipulated to break basic human rights like pedophilia.

AngelyyyUID：3625119

65.Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

老师的范文（这里膜拜一下，中间有5段主体段，我选了靠后的一段）
Nevertheless, I do not believe that the legal means is sufficient for challenging the unjust copyright laws. Point Creative Commons may help some authors to release their works from the bondage of copyright. But a great many important creative works and books are still under the control of greedy publishers and corporations that would use copyrights to deprive ordinary citizens of their rights to learning and entertainment.Information As a result, it is also important for ordinary people to practice civil disobedience against the copyright regime.Elaboration For example, instead of buying expensive books from the bookstores, we should try to obtain the e-copies of the books from websites such as Library Genesis and Sina Information Sharing.Elaboration+例子 These acts of civil disobedience will create pressure on the publishers to change their business models from charging the readers to sponsoring the authors through advertising or government funding. Elaboration+ In other words, if we want to change the unjust laws, we cannot merely rely on efforts within legal frameworks but have to break the laws in a large scale.点题

我的中间段（主题段1）
The first thing I talk about would be the just laws.There are many laws ensure our safety and basic human rights which cannot be broken.Point Most countries that emphasizing the importance of education offer both enforced and free education for all their citizens.Information In a good perspective,the regulation will diminish the gap of rich and impoverishment.In the long run,the education rights increase the possibility that impoverished people could receive the basic supports and could live agreeable.Information Meanwhile,the law that forbidding the violent behavior that come along the damage of property as well as the lives of innocent people,ensured the society could run under a relatively stable situation.Information Thus,the situations I described are the advantages that just laws bring to us,which we should obey then.Elaboration+点题

提纲：
TS：As the civilization of humankind beings,laws appeared to act a role as governing the conflicts and contradicts that harmful to the society.However,the law isn’t serve as a panacea,we still need to consider this critically.For the overall peace of the society,people should obey the laws that ensure the safety and basic rights.On the other hand,the laws created by the governers are not always symbolize the justice,as a result,we need to consider the unjust laws carefully in order to avoid further harm.Here I would explain my concerns in details.

ts1:The first thing I talk about would be the just laws.There are laws ensure our safety and basic human rights which cannot be broken.
-Most countries that emphasizing the importance of education offer both enforced and free education for all their citizens.In a good perspective,the regulation will diminish the gap of rich and impoverishment.In the long run,the education rights increase the possibility that people received the basic supports and could live agreeable.
-The law that forbidding the violent behavior that come along the damage of property as well as the lives of innocent people,ensured the society could run under a relatively stable situation.

ts2:While the fact that we should obey the laws protect us,it would be presumptuous to obey the law that would be harmful.In fact,we should recognize the unjust laws and let our governors know it as well.
-Although the developed countries can’t feel the injustice today, however,this kind of situations still there in developing countries.
-Unjust laws are suited for some groups,but unfriendly for others.Minorities are once the group who suffered less privilege of education and opportunities of career in history.
-People would get a decent life unless they receive the education and the financial help,it’s basically to express the hope that show the disobedience of the unjust laws to get the privilege people should have.
-Governors should remember the justice is created by the people,they won’t commit the law unless they received the basic things they should have.

ts3:Challenges will be that the autocracy could ensure the execution of the laws.However,as I mentioned,although the governors are who make documents,the justice of laws are created by people.If the people all with disobedience purpose,the power of the law would be significantly undermined. The roots of the law is established by people.

点评6楼：
题干质疑的是，是否creative things are accidential.而我在你的段落里收到了两个信息，现在的社会很难沉下去获得专业收获，另外付出大量努力可以获得收获。感觉逻辑不清晰。如果你想表达，有些情况下也可以出现creative results，我建议把你的观点表示得更清楚一点。

收获与评价：
王老师给的都是很useful而且practical的干货，我觉得这种方法把写作中主要的注意点都很详尽的教给有需要的同学，思路和做法目前都ok。
另外顺应微信的潮流督促大家学习，这个也挺好的。
小问题是觉得拉的大群仿佛用处不大，感觉小队比较有用。
   

卿本悠悠UID：3817355

6、Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws.（65）

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种，by considering an issue from different perspectives or in different contexts。先让步表明这种说法在一定的情况上的合理性(reasonability in some cases)，再从两方面阐述不同意这种说法的理由：个人方面(for individual)，社会方面(the whole society)。

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
Laws are an indispensable part of civilized society and play a pivotal role in standardizing and ruling people’s behaviors. Although there are some debacles in the justness of some laws, it is appropriate for individuals to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws. In some certain cases, disobeying or resisting unjust laws can make sense for its consequences; in general, whether for individuals themselves or the whole society, however, every individual in a society shouldn’t take it as a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws.

主题句1
Sometimes it is reasonable in some cases that individuals in a society have a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws, as there exists obvious irrationality and unfairness in these unjust laws.
具体例子或细节
--the apparent favoritism of the noble in law during ancient times (such as the innocence of the rich and noble for killing common people)
--the inequity between female and male in many aspects (including the deficiency of the father’s mandatory maternity leave and the disadvantage of female in divorce)
--the common racism in western countries (the lack of human rights like safeguard for the black in early America and the discrimination of educational conditions for Asian in current America)

主题句2
More often, however, for the benefit of individuals themselves, every individual in a society should not take it as a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey or resist unjust laws.
具体例子或细节
--the incomplete comprehension for justice will cause severe incorrect consequences for individuals (an individual will easily make a wrong or short-term vision to a law-related issue)
--the legislation punishment made by court for the disobey of laws (unavoidable even yourself think you’re doing the right things but law rules don’t)

主题句3
Moreover, disobey or resist unjust laws for an individual in a society might results to terrible consequences towards the whole society as the stability and unity are more important than individual’s benefits.
具体例子或细节
--individual’s resistance for the unjust laws will leads to much more damage for the surroundings and society than the little benefit for himself or herself because of the connection between individual and the whole society
--the free to disobey laws, no matter what, will causes total chaos and disasters


关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
这个题材还是比较好写的，但是还是花了很长时间。希望能加快以后写作的速度。最后结尾的地方，想法是提出：尽管有些法律不那么公平，作为一个个体，我们应该做的也是努力改变法律的相关规定而不是直接蛮横的违背它，这是文明社会与原始社会的重要区别。

范文中间段分析（using PIE model）
选自65题范文的第三段
Consider next the laws that some people may consider as unjust.(Point) For example, prior to the recent landmark decision on gay and lesbian marriage by the US Supreme Court, in some states, the laws do not recognize the homosexual couples’ rights to get married. (Information) Some people may believe that these laws are unjust as no one should be denied to right to marry because of their sexual orientation. (Information) But that does not follow that people who believe in homosexual marriage should have the responsibility to openly challenge the state laws against the practice. (Elaboration) If they demonstrate outside the marriage registration office violently or demand for rights to marry using forces, for example, they will most likely be arrested by the police. (Elaboration) In other words, disobeying and resisting the so-called unjust laws will lead to conflict between the civilians and the government, which will not help solve the problems. (Elaboration)

我来点评其他网友
楼层：3楼

1）东扯扯网友提纲的框架是否合理？
框架与题目切合，但是law和mainstream value感觉干系不大。
2）东扯扯网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适。但是每个段落只有一个例子显得比较单薄。
3）东扯扯网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
首先，没有明确指出后文的框架中各个段落主题。第二句话中，“places and specific occasions all may affect how we perceive justice”这句话的perceive感觉不是很合适。还有，第一句话的no denying也不是常见的用法。

最后的最后（经验体会及意见建议）
这个活动督促我腾出时间来进行写作方面的练习，并完整思考写作中的核心思想，已经如何将自己的想法合理有序的表达出来。可能是自己的领悟能力有限，6篇提纲下来，每次依然需要花费很多时间思考中心观点及想例子，想好以后动手写起来也很慢，不知道如何提高。所有的题库全部思考一遍肯定不现实，但是在考场上遇到一个全新的issue（argument比较好写），从思考到表达的过程，感觉很难在半个小时内完成。不知道如何解决这个问题。

mzlgjgUID：3804664

4.Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Frame：making classifications of key terms: government politics, cultural tourism and recreational field.

TS: Scandals, exposing what’s usually secret and illegal to day light, can help bring what otherwise would molder in the darkness to our attention. Because there always are forces by schemers exerting on their conspiracy from being exposed, scandals serves as a good way to speak out the problems. However, scandals in different fields, though all focus people’s attention on them, may not be useful consistently. In politics and industry, its effects are always positive while in recreational field, the opposite is true.

TS1:Scandals in politics may be the best way of addressing the seriousness of problems.
example:“Water Gate”event in the history of the United States politics

TS2:Scandals in industry also serves as catalyst to help resolve the extant problems.
example:the scandal of fabricating historical celebrity’s tomb as famous tour sites in service industry several years ago

TS3:While in politics and industry, scandals help people focus attention on the present problems, in other fields like recreation field, the role scandals play can’t be mentioned in the same breath.
example:“sexy photo” event of a Chinese singer Chen
reasoning:Even though some people may contend that this kind of scandal help regulate celebrity’s behavior, but this phenomenon of seeking scandals as novel news of the public still exists and nothing useful for the society is brought.

我的段落PIE分析
TS1: Scandals in politics may be the best way of addressing the seriousness of problems.（point） Since transparency in politics or governments is probably the least, without scandals’ exposure, without scandals no one can ever emphasize the present problems with enough evidence. （elaboration）The “Water Gate”event in the history of the United States politics is probably the most famous scandal. Nixon was finally impeached because of his injustice behavior during the president election.（information） Without it, we never know Nixon have won the election through illegal action and the slack judicial supervision would continue at least for a while. The scandal, though brought infamous rumor about American government, indeed facilitated the improvement of supervision and discipline of government officials later, thus purging the American political environment.（elaboration） All these effects for America politics, outweighing its initial disadvantages, are impossible without this scandal, so it’s fair to say it to be useful.（elaboration）

这段时间努力训练作文，但感觉最大的问题还是速度太慢，构思似乎很难在很短的时间里面完成，完成写作更是如此。

关于13楼的点评
框架可行，不过根据你结尾段的陈述，似乎你还想说明“努力改变法律的相关规定而不是直接蛮横的违背它”这层意思，但是我在前面几个段落中没有读出这层意思，所以我觉得你可以增加一段简短说明这个观点，而不是在结尾段提出。
题目中还有一个要求“address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position”不要忘了~
论据很充分，TS3中间有一处应改为result in

amber_123UID：3830001

4 Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.  

Model essay

To begin with, the attention from the public after a scandal does not necessarily focus on the right issue. (point) Take the Clinton scandal and impeachment for example. (information) With the release of Starr report, the Clinton scandal has attracted the national and even international media attention. (information) But the majority of American people seem to find it more interesting to talk about whether or not President Clinton had sex with Monica Lewinsky. (information) They would even get into the debate over whether oral sex would count as sex. (information) But the real issue that should capture public attention is whether or not the President had lied and still deserved the trust of American people. (information/elaboration) With the media always interested in reporting sensational news, the Clinton scandal failed to focus public attention on the right issue and therefore was not very useful for the development of American politics. (elaboration)

In addition, when a scandal is involved in powerful corporation, a professional public relations team will very quickly take actions to address the crisis and divert the public attention from the right issues. (point) The oil giant BP, for example, was responsible for the oil rig explosion in 2013 and subsequent oil spill in the gulf of Mexico. (information) During the scandal of this ecological disaster, BP hired a sophisticated PR team to launch a massive campaign to paint themselves as victims of tort law suits and shift media attention from the aftermath of the oil spill. (information) The large corporations like BP has the large amount of financial resources at their disposal to manipulate the media and the public opinions when necessary. (information) As the public is often forgetful while overwhelmed by the news and scandals, it is fairly easy for them to get away from such scandals. (information/elaboration) In other words, one cannot really rely on scandals to solve problems involving big corporations. (elaboration)


Some people may argue that scandals are still useful in creating pressure to push the government to reform. (point) For example, after the scandal of Sun Zhigang, a Chinese university graduate who was tortured and killed in Guangzhou Center for the Homeless, Chinese government has abolished the institution of arresting the homeless in the large cities. (information) While this case leads to some desirable outcome, it is doubtful that we should count on scandals like this to reform a nation’s legal and social infrastructure. (information/elaboration) To fix the numerous problems in a modern society, the best solution is to educate the people about their rights so people can speak up against injustice when their rights are violated. (elaboration) We cannot just overlook the injustice in our daily life and wait for scandals to fix the problems in our society. (elaboration)  

My essay

Scandals are powerful weapons to address the public attention. Although it’s always immoral to explore others’ private businesses, we can’t stop the nature to find secrets. That’s the reason why scandals are so prevalent. However, I don’t believe that scandals are useful to facilitate the development of the society. Because scandals draw our attention to the wrong places. Scandals only last for very short time. Nonetheless, I have to admit that scandals help draw enormous attention from the public.

To begin with, scandals draw people’s attention to frivolous issues rather than real significant ones. (point) The English royal family, for example, suffered from the scandals of Prince Charles. (information) People denounced the disloyalty of Charles and Camila and showed sympathy for Diana.  (information) The public, however, paid too much attention to the scandal but showed little care about important issues like increasingly serious AIDS problem in England and hunger crisis which was thriving in Africa. (information) Scandals draw public’s attention to wrong places, so the real urgent issues are not able to get enough attention and support. (elaboration)

In addition, scandals usually last for very short time. (point) Scandals of super stars are always sensational enough to catch eyes. (information) But lives of these scandals are ephemerous. (information) When we are shocked to know the divorce of Brad Pit and Angelina Jolie, we are, several days later, buried with reports of Taylor Swift’s new boyfriend. (information) Scandals, being so ephemerous, are not able to provide enough attention and energy for things to go smooth continuously. (elaboration) Important things usually need a long time to conduct. (information) The reform of medical system, for example, has been lasting for nearly ten years. (information) The remedy for pollution around the country has also gone for many years. (information) Short-time scandals raise short time attention to help develop these long-time issues which is no enough. (elaboration)

On the other hand, I have to admit the power of scandals to draw public’s attention(point). Several years ago in China, a girl named Guo Meimei suddenly became popular on internet because of showing off lots of luxuries like Hermes bags and supercars. (information) Cyber citizens soon found out that she was a vice manager of Red Cross. (information). People couldn’t help connecting her huge fortune with corruption of donation because she was too young to earn such huge fortune by herself. (information) People were irritated and asked Red Cross to publicize the use of their donation. (information) The Red Cross, however, failed to give the information which shattered people’s trust. (information) This scandal forced Red Cross to reform and tell the use of every donation. (information) Without this scandal which catches so much attention around the country, Red Cross would not yield so easily. (elaboration)

这篇文章能得几分？