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[主题活动] 8月30-31日 issue第8类同主题写作暨argument模考 (8月最后一期) [复制链接]

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发表于 2017-8-30 12:56:30 |显示全部楼层
模考

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发表于 2017-8-30 13:27:48 |显示全部楼层
In the memo given above, the Board of Directors of Butler Manufacturing recommend that Butler Manufacturing should shorten each of its work shifts by one hour, in order to decrease the number of accidents. Also, the Board offer several evidences to corroborate its claim, including less accidents of Panoply Industries and a study report provided by the government. Seemingly, the claim is compelling. However, before we reach the conclusion, there still exist several questions remained to answer.

To begin with, the first question is what is the ultimate reason for the less number of accidents in Panoply Industries. In the memo, the Board mentions that the work shifts of Panoply Industries are one hour shorter than Butler Manufacturing, and this is the reason contributing to the less accident. However, it is possible that there are other factors causing the better outcome. Maybe the working environment is more comfortable, or the workers in Panoply Industries pay more attention to the safety rules, and so forth. If this is the case, it is useless for Butler Manufacturing to shorten its work shifts. Therefore, the Board should determine what is the determining factor of the less accidents.

Moreover, the Board should find out whether the shorter work shifts can efficiently increase the sleeping time of workers and decrease the fatigue of the workers. Admittedly, enough time for sleep and rest is essential to efficient work. However, it is doubtable that whether short work shifts can effect that. Possibly, the worker will use the time to play games, have a chat, or something other than sleep and rest. In this term, the worker will be more tired and waste time, which is detrimental to work. To avoid such a condition, the Board should do a survey or investigation, to determine the workers’ habits.

The last question which should be put forward is what is the fundamental reason for the accidents happening in Butler Manufacturing. Although it is the fact that the work shift is longer, it may be not the reason causing the accidents. In all likelihood, the workers may pay too little attention to the safety rules, or the working condition is too harsh. In this situation, Butler Manufacturing should start a comprehensive training for safety rules, or improve the working condition, instead of changing the work shifts.
Based on the analysis above, although the recommendation offered by the Board of Butler Manufacturing is reasonable on the surface, there still exist several holes. To make the best decision, Butler Manufacturing should find out the ultimate reason for the less accident in Panoply Industries and the more number of itself. Furthermore, it should determine whether its workers will use the time to have a good rest and sleep. Unless these questions are answered, it is too harsh to make the decision to change the work shifts.

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发表于 2017-8-30 13:35:50 |显示全部楼层
The paragraph recommended that Butler Manufacturing shorten each of its work shifts by one hour, based on the government study and the lest percent on-the-job accidents at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than Butler Manufacturing. As far as I am concerned, though the argument elaborates the fact and make a comparasion, there are still some questions to be answered in these aspects: the conjecture of the shorten shifts attributing to lower on-the-job accidents, the more specifical numbers in the government report, and the affinity between Butler and Panoply Industries.
To begin with, an example was given that Panoply Industries has 30 lower percent on-the-job accidents. So wheter the one hour shorten shift may have effects on contributing to the lower percent of accidents, or may not? It is true that the workers will be adequately rested, however, there is no suffient evidence to see the true only effects caused by the shifting, for example, there maybe some other reforms like offering the new technic. So if the author could find out the percent of on-the-job accidents at nearby Panoply Industries before and after it changed the working shifts hours, the vindification will prove its point.
Besides, the cited government report, only elucidated the fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Does the employees in Butler Manufacturing have enough sleep time? Will they get fatigue and tired? And maybe the long time standing work is the crutial to the on-the-job accidents. So the proposal needs to offer the exact time the employees work to show that the crutial is not working too long, and the conditions employees work to see if it's the point. By exerting this other factors, the report will be utilitized with the big effects.
Additionly, the the affinity between Butler and Panoply Industries, and between Bulter and the report will play evitable roles in the paragraph. Are these similar industries? Are there any other differences between them, such as the new technology or the cost energy are similar? By the way, some manufacturing will need the sight and maybe some other needs the ears, they will need different work shifts. If the argument could show more evidence in the affinity, the demonstration will be more completed.
In conclusion, the author will need to answer more questions about the former working conditions to compared with the cited report to demonstrate that the working shifts hours are the most important reason to cause the fatigue, also prepare more information between the Panoply and Butler to see if there are any other differences which may could reduce the percent of on-the-job accidents.
大概写作超时有六七分钟

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寄托16周年纪念勋章

发表于 2017-8-30 14:21:43 |显示全部楼层
argument模考。又是一次新的开始,希望这次能快点写完。

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寄托16周年纪念勋章 新任版主

发表于 2017-8-30 14:29:46 |显示全部楼层
thx for your help , sir. i'm very appreciate .

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发表于 2017-8-30 15:10:02 |显示全部楼层
ISSUE6
A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.


I agree that ordinary students of a nation should take the same curriculum before entering collge, because it is a reasonable strategy for the nation to enact education plans as well as for students themselves. However, extoardinary circumstances have to be taken into account, such as for students who are endowed with high talent and that are unforturenly diabled, special curriculum should be changed according to the specific situation.

TS1:It is viable not only for teachers but also for students who have not yet developed self-cognition. The number of the teachers in the country is limited as well as the working time, so given the large number of the students across the nation, it is unrealistc to design specific courses for every single student. Moreover, mostly, during the period before entering college, students have not come to realize whatever kinds of profession will s/he be willing to devoted in. As to get into great university to get access to more choices, following the studying plans given by nation and working hard is definetely reasonable. Even for the students who have already made decision on oneself’s career, doing well on the curriculum in the school is necessary, which will be useful for most jobs such as being analytists or engineers.

TS2:When consider students with high gifts, ordinary curriculum would not work. It is ture that some students are born with surprisingly high talented in some fields, such as sports, science and art. The national curriculum which designed for ordinary students would seem too hidebound to develop their potential abilities. One who own high gift in basketball for example, with the same effort, s/he will definitly obtain greater achievement being a basketball player in comparision to working in other fields. If s/she paying as much energy as other ordinary student studying, I would tend to consider it kind of waste, so teacher should treat s/he in some way different, allowing s/he arrange school time more freely than other students. But I am not arguing that s/he should not spend any time to study, no one could afford to accostomed to modern society without knowledge.

TS3:There is a another situation that national curriculum is not suitable. Diabled ones are the group mostly ingored by most of people, whose ability to live and learn vary among every individual. Some perhaps could still be able to take care of themselves, while others are unfortureltly can not have meals without assistant from parents or relatives. No should be given up. It is the nation that should take responsible for the supports for their education. Due to national curriculum not feasible for the disabled ones who could hardly catch up with their peers, a special curriculum designed for every single one is necessry.

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寄托16周年纪念勋章

发表于 2017-8-30 15:17:23 |显示全部楼层
卿本悠悠 发表于 2017-8-30 14:21
argument模考。又是一次新的开始,希望这次能快点写完。

According to the memo from the Board of directors of Butler Manufacturing, shortening each of their work shifts by one hour is recommended to improve their workers' safety record. Compared with the workers at nearby Panoply Industries and given a recent government study, some questions has been made to decide whether the recommendation could lead to the predicted result, including the difference between two companies, sleep deprivation and the time of work shifts. These questions should be carefully examined to evaluate the directors' recommendation.

To start with, it should be questioned whether there is any other difference between Butler Manufacturing and Panoply Industries. It is true that the work shifts in Panoply Industries are one hour shorter than Butler Manufacturing, but it doesn't mean that this is the only difference between two of them. If there are other significant differences exist, maybe the work shifts time is not the determine factor which really causes more accidents.

In addition, the relationship between sleep deprivation and work shifts also be questioned in the recent government study. There is not certain connection between work shifts and fatigue or sleep deprivation, as the addition time of work shifts may be used in other ways like some sports, reading or other leisure things. Only when the workers spend their spared work shifts time in sleeping or other rest, it can infers that shortening work shifts can lead to less on-the-job accidents according to the report.

What’s more, it ought to also be questioned whether one hour of shortening work shifts is adequate for the workers. Although the work shifts in Panoply Industries are one hour shorter than Butler Manufacturing, it is possible that one hour isn’t suitable for the Butler Manufacturing because their workers’ working strength may not similar, which would made a severe consequence for the unsuitability. So the exact shorten time need be carefully researched before putting into effect.

In conclusion, the difference between two companies, sleep deprivation and the time of work shifts should be questioned to ensure the effective result of the recommendation made by the directors. Only after totally examination, the on-the-job accidents can eventually low down to the predicted result.
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发表于 2017-8-30 15:18:21 |显示全部楼层
模考Argument

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寄托16周年纪念勋章 新任版主

发表于 2017-8-30 15:31:38 |显示全部楼层
TaylorW 发表于 2017-8-30 14:29
thx for your help , sir. i'm very appreciate .

106) The following appeared in a memo from the Board of Directors of Butler Manufacturing.

During the past year, workers at Butler Manufacturing reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. A recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Therefore, we recommend that Butler Manufacturing shorten each of its work shifts by one hour. Shorter shifts will allow Butler to improve its safety record by ensuring that its employees are adequately rested.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

According to the memo, the workers call for a shorten shift in Butler Manufacturing to ensure workers safety in factory. Citing a recent government study that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are the main factor in accidents. A number of questions need to be answer in the argument about factories , workers and the effectiveness of workers application. These questions prevent us from giving an effective evaluation on such recommendation unless they can be adequately answered.

To begin with, the memo compare accident rate of Butler Manufacturing to the panoply industries’. Since we are not given any information about what these factories do , such comparison seems questionable. As we know different industries have quite different accident rate. Accidents happen more frequently in steel plant than a clothing factory.  So it is unreasonable when we compare different industry. If the Butler manufacturing and panoply industries does not work in the same field, the data comparison is not valid at all.

In addition, the memo seems to drive us to the problem of sleeping deprivation. But does the worker in Butler manufacturing need more sleep? The evidence of workers sleeping condition is missing . We are not given the existence shift time of Butler manufacturing to value their sleep quality. There is no way to decide if the workers need more sleep to recharge themselves for working. And we also lack of information about Butler manufacturing workers’ and Panoply industries workers’ sleeping time. Panoply’s less accident rate may not attribute to its less shift time.

Furthermore, is there any other possible factor could be the cause of these accidents? The high accident rate in Butler may not cause by workers’ fatigue but some other reasons such as careless and lacking of protection. If so, a shorten shift will do no good in reducing accident rate. We need to know the real cause of these accidents and then try to eliminate them. This question cannot be answer by a government general study but a close survey in Butler itself. It is not appropriate to use data from state investment to value Butler, especially we don’t know if Butler in that study or not. Only when all other possible factors are ruled out can we decide if fatigue is the real cause.

Moreover, assume sleep deprivation is the factor of these accidents and we shorten the shift time by one hour. It is still a problem if those workers would use this one hour spare time on sleeping. They might spend it on having fun or some other activities .Then the purpose of offering more sleep to the workers cannot be achieved and the accident rate will not be reduce anyway.   

To sum up, there are still some questions need to be answer in order to decide if the recommendation is reasonable .Those evidence and information are needed to address the high rate of accidents in Butler manufacturing.

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2016 US-applicant

发表于 2017-8-30 15:55:18 |显示全部楼层
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2016 US-applicant

发表于 2017-8-30 16:56:33 |显示全部楼层
战G进行时 发表于 2017-8-30 15:55
回复

The Board of Directors of Butler Manufacturing declares in a memo that to reduce on-the-job accidents, Butler should shorten its work shifts by one hour. The advice is based on the conditions in Panoply Industries which is close to Butler and a recent government study report. To strengthen the reliability of the suggestion, some questions need to be answered to link the conclusion to the predicted result.

First of all, it is questionable to conclude that the difference of work shifts hours between the work shifts in Butler and Panoply is the cause of higher on-the-job accidents in Butler. The higher on-the-job accidents in Butler may be attributed to the maladroit operation of its workers. It may also be due to the different techniques required in the two manufacturers. If it is difficult to master the difficult operation in Butler, then the rate of on-the-job accidents in Butler may be higher. Therefore, only if the techniques and the quality of workers are the same in the two manufacturers can we conclude that the on-the-job accidents are related to the work shifts arrangement.

Secondly, the advice of the Board of Directors of Butler is based on a recent government study. Although in the study, it indicates that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents, it does not show how many hours of rest and sleep is appropriate for workers. If the work shifts arrangement is not strict enough for workers to be tired and fatigue, longer work shifts hours may not be the cause of higher on-the-job accidents.

In conclusion, some questions need to be answered to strengthen the reliability of the advice from the memo of the Board of Directors, such as whether Butler and Panoply are comparable and whether the government study is conducive to the decision.

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发表于 2017-8-30 17:16:11 |显示全部楼层
GoldenString 发表于 2017-08-30 15:18
模考Argument
106) The following appeared in a memo from the Board of Directors of Butler Manufacturing.

During the past year, workers at Butler Manufacturing reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. A recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Therefore, we recommend that Butler Manufacturing shorten each of its work shifts by one hour. Shorter shifts will allow Butler to improve its safety record by ensuring that its employees are adequately rested.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

According to the memo , the directors  recommended that Bulter Manufacturing should shorten each of its work shifts by one hour to improve its safety record not only because its higher on-the-job accidents than the Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than BM, but also for the study about fatigue and sleep deprivation contributing to many on-the-job accidents. Inorder to evaluate this recommendation, we need more evidence about the causes of the on-the-job accidents, the difference between Bulter Manufacturing and the Panoply Industries. In addition, i argue that It's not appropriate to shorten each of its work shifts by one hour because of the different work burden of different positions.

First of all, It's important for us to make it clear about the truth of the on-the-job accidents. It's not reasonable to shorten the work shift by one hour before we don't know the real cause of the accidents. For example, If there are some potential safety hazards in the Bulter Manufacturing for its incomplete security facilities, It's very easy to happen the on-the-job accidents that are not related to the work shift. In this case, It's not reasonable and necessary to recommend that Butler Manufacturing shorten each of its work shifts by one hour just because that nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than Buler Manufacturing, has 30 percent less on-the-job accidents than BM.

Before we decide whether to accept this recommendation or not, we also need to know the difference between Bulter Manufacturing and the Panoply Industries.  If Panoply Industries belong to the light industries , it's very easy to understand why its work shifts are short and its workers have light work burden. However, if Buler Manufacturing is a heavy industry that is famous for its heavy work burden and long work shifts, It goes without saying that workers at Butler Manufacturing may be reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. In this case, compareing the on-the-job accidents of Buler Manufacturing and the Panoply Industries is obviously absurd to decide to shorten each of its work shifts in Buler Manufacturing inorder to ensure the safety record.

Last but not the least, shortening each of its work shifts by one hour is fallacious without considering the different work burden of different positions. For example, If workers of production department have workes for a long time, fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Nevertheless, for the workers of sales department, many on-the-job accidents have little relation to the long work shifts. Therefore, although a recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents, we need to choose some workers who belong to some departments with heavy work burden, such as production department, to shorten its work shifts inorder to ensure that they can be  adequately rested.

In conclusion, before we determine whether to shorten each of the work shifts by one hour in Buler Manufacturing or not, more information about the cause of the on-the-job accidents, the difference between Buler Manufacturing and the Panoply Industries and the work burden of different positions can help us evaluate this recommendation better and make the final decision.


严重超时啊啊啊啊啊(?_?)!!!接下来要卡时间,刷速度啊,打字速度要提高上去

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发表于 2017-8-30 20:54:58 |显示全部楼层
看题。

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发表于 2017-8-30 21:05:14 |显示全部楼层
谢谢老师~辛苦啦

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发表于 2017-8-30 21:35:30 |显示全部楼层
ning97 发表于 2017-8-30 13:35
The paragraph recommended that Butler Manufacturing shorten each of its work shifts by one hour, bas ...

没有选择回帖,大概12:56回复第一次,13:35回复第二次。

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