8月30-31日 issue第8类同主题写作暨argument模考 （8月最后一期）

youzi42UID：3806028

youzi42 发表于 2017-8-30 21:05
谢谢老师~辛苦啦

    According to this arguemt(argument), the increasing on-the-job accidents and a recent government study reports concering(concerning) the fatigue and sleep deprivations are the major realities that urge the director to come out an viable solutions. To assess this recommmendation(recommendation), we still need to explore some questions before taking necessarity of taking immediate actions. Those questions are concerned with the comparison of the two industries's surronding(surrounding) traffic, the relation of shift hours and accidents, as well as the extend to which fatigue and sleep deprivations in the Bulter Manufacturing.

    To begin with, there seems less on-the-job accidents in the Panoply Industries than the Butler Manufacturing. However, we need to consider the question that wether(whether) the traffic situations are in the same degrees. What if the Panoply Industries is in a more rural site, where are less cars?  Then, it's reasonalbe(reasonable) why the accidents are less severe then the Butler Manufacturing. Thus, the directors should compare the accidents with the same traffic situations and then to further conclusions.

   Secondly, the director appeals that they should shorten the working shifs(shifts) by an hour, since less work shifts, less on-the-job accidents. Does the shifts hours can guarantee the less accidents? In reality, we need more evidences in this aspects. We need evidences that acclaim there is obvious connection between the work shift and the probability of causing the accidents. Also, we need to take into considerations what's the best way that we cut the work shifts? By letting the employees go to work later or alllowing them go home earlier? Before come to an conclusions, we still need more considerations.

    Last but not least, the government study reports claims that the fatigue and sleep deprivations are also contributing to the accidents. Are those phenomena common in the Butler Manufacturing? We need evidence that it is the lacking of rest that make the workers distracted when the way to work, and thus engenders more accidents. By this way, we can butteres the directors recommendations.

    To evaluate the recommendations, we still need to take many concerns into considerations. Thus, we can make the reform more viable.


打字慢，写到最后一刻，没有时间检查，出现了很多打错的单词没来得及纠正。
事先打好了草稿，但是写的时候比较混乱，尤其最后几分钟简直手忙脚乱。。

freefmUID：3688595

106. The following appeared in a memo from the Board of Directors of Butler Manufacturing.

During the past year, workers at Butler Manufacturing reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. A recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Therefore, we recommend that Butler Manufacturing shorten each of its work shifts by one hour. Shorter shifts will allow Butler to improve its safety record by ensuring that its employees are adequately rested.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

The statement purports that one hour less work shift will lead to an improvement of safety record in Butler Manufacturing. The author made this recommendation bases on the report that the fatigue and sleep deprivation are two key risks for workers to have on-the-job accidents from a government study, as well as the fact that workers at Panoply Industries, with a shorter work shift time, have less accidents. Plausible as it sounds, but it is doubtful if several questions remain unanswered because the deduction is not solid.

Question 1: Do Bulter and Panoply have similar labor intensity and work situations? If yes, strengthen, if not, weaken.
Question 2: Whether are the fatigue and sleep deprivation two highest contributing factors at Bulter? If yes, strengthen, if not, weaken.
Question 3：Are the on-the-job accidents happened in two factories similar in seriousness degree? Yes, strengthen; no, weaken.

As what I presented above, these questions are influential to the argument. The significance of the recommendation will pale if the answers of these questions are negative, therefore, it will become hard for Butler to reach the destination of improving the safety during producing. In a word, the recommendation is rife of flaws so that more serious investigation is required when recommending the solution.  

wanghaitao199391UID：3704441

argument 试试~

wanghaitao199391UID：3704441

106)The following appeared in a memo from the Board of Directors of Butler Manufacturing.

During the past year, workers at Butler Manufacturing reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. A recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Therefore, we recommend that Butler Manufacturing shorten each of its work shifts by one hour. Shorter shifts will allow Butler to improve its safety record by ensuring that its employees are adequately rested.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In the memo, the author owes the Butler Manufacturing’s 30 percent more on-the-job accidents to shorter work shifts compared to Panoply Industries based on three assumptions: First, there is the sleep deprivation in Butler Manufacturing. Second, shorten the work shifts by one hour would ensure the employees’ adequate rest. Third, shorter shifts will improve Butler’s safety since it can provide employees with better rest. However, there some questions need to be answered to make the author’s assumption unimpeachable.

The first question is, is there really exist the sleep deprivation in Butler Manufacturing which leads to a result of the government study goes: a positive correlation between fatigue and accidents on work place? There are only the fact about on-the-job accidents during the last year, which is 30 percent more than Panoply, however, there is no evidence to support that the over accidents were caused by fatigue and deprivation of sleep. It is possible that the accidents are related to other reasons, for example, the old-age of the machines in the industry, the overlook of safety endorsement and even the work in Butler Manufacturing itself is more dangerous than that in Panoply Industries. So it is unreasonable to attribute the accidents to sleep deprivation in Butler Manufacturing.

The second question is, can we ensure the employees’ adequate rest by shortening the work shifts by one hour? To protect a full rest of workers in Butler Manufacturing, we should investigate workers there about the time schedule in this factory and find out if another hour’s work shifts can benefit them with enough rest time. If the workers think the work shifts is not the main problem of their accidents, it is no use to take one more hour’s shifts into account to solve the problem. Or it might be the frequency rather than the duration of the shifts would help workers more. So subtracting a hour from the shifts may not solve the problem that there are 30 percents more accidents happened on work.

The third question which should be answered is: can shorter shifts improve Butler’s safety , by providing employees with better rest? Shorter work shifts means the worker can divide their work time into more parts to guarantee the freshness when they return to the work place, some people believe this can make workers more enthusiastic about their tedious work. However, the work shifts are not the shorter, the better. If the job in Butler is one of some professional work that calls for continuous concentration for longer time, workers doing this kind of job should not be regulated to shorten their work shifts because it may lead to a waste of time or even danger. We should not uncritically equal the work in Butler Manufacturing to that in Panoply Industries.

To sum up, there are three questions needed to be answered to ensure the resonance of the author’s assumption. Is there really exist the sleep deprivation in Butler Manufacturing which leads to a result of the government study goes: a positive correlation between fatigue and accidents on work place? Can we ensure the employees’ adequate rest by shortening the work shifts by one hour? Can shorter shifts improve Butler’s safety , by providing employees with better rest? If these questions be answered persuasively, the author’s assumption would more credible.

天地1沙鸥UID：3654706

issue 6/14/96/116
A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.  
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

采用第 2 种方法将curriculum 分成 fundamental courses, technical courses, cognitive courses

TS
With the wake of the sharp development of the education, more and more students are accessible to the colleges which demand the master of the basic knowledge for further study in the university. Facing this current, some people maintain that all the curriculums before the college in one nation should always be the same to students, while others contend that they should be diverse. However, as far as I am concerned, whether the curriculums should be different depends on what type they are in: the basic type, technical courses and cognitive courses.

First of all, it is indispensable to provide the basic course to all the nation’s student before college.
Example: The basic courses like math, English, should all be taught to every student to foster their fundamental skill on the related aspects.
Reason: These courses are the basis of further learning in college, only by learning the same contents can they master the same knowledge. Besides, it benefits the overall development of the basic knowledge of the public.

On the contrary, the technical courses which is aimed to strengthen every students’ intelligence should be diverse.
Example: The technical courses like practice, experiment should accommodate every students’ characteristics and therefore be different.
Reason: These technical courses are provided to train their skills in practice, which depend on the interaction between students and the tasks. Only by changing the courses or tasks slightly can they be suitable to the different habit on solving problems.

When it comes to the cognitive courses, either diversity or similarity could be both applied.
Example: The cognitive courses like art, music is suitable to be taught diverse or similar in one nation.
Reason: Because they are aimed to broaden the students’ knowledge instead of mastering them, the way they are taught affects little to the students’ further learning.

Joker—XYZUID：3508086

Joker—XYZ 发表于 2017-8-30 20:54
看题。

According to the memo, Butler Manufacturing workers reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries workers, where the work shifts are one hour shorter. In order to evaluate the soundness of the argument, we need more information about the causes of more on-the-job accidents and the two companies, the difference between their size, work environments, safety rules and factors influence on-the-job accidents.

To begin with, it argues that Butler Manufacturing had 30 percent moer on-the-job accidents because of longer shifts compared with nearby company. Therefore, it suggests that Butler Manufacturing should change to shorter shifts to improve its safety record by ensuring that its employees are adequately rested. It is important to analyze the causes of Butler Manufacturing on-the-job accidents and compare these two companies. First, we need more information to know the main causes of on-the-job accidents if other factors like the work environment influenced workers’ safety too. And then we need to compare these two companies to find why Panoply Industries had much lower on-the-job accidents. In this way, we can understand the role played by shift time in on-the-job accidents.

On the other hand, there is a recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents, so shorter shifts is recommend to improve its safety record by ensuring that its employees are adequately rested. We need more information to make sure the survey holds true, like the detailed way of the research and the other factors related. For example, the safety rules and protection equipment also could influence the number of on-the-job accidents.

In conclusion, it is difficult to decide fatigue and sleep deprivation are the main causes of on-the-job accidents in Butler Manufacturing. More information about different issues discussed above has to be gathered to assess the strength of the argument.

心玉夕颜UID：3829123

issue 13: Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.


The claim shows a point of view that university students should be required to take various courses outside their major. Nowadays, social environment becomes increasingly competitive, a lot of common graduates cannot find a satisfactory job based on their university degrees and major. Therefore, in my opinion, I am inclined to agree that undergraduate students should learn some courses which are outside their field of study in order to be more competitive and then find a better job. But, it cannot be too absolute because there are some factors needed to be considered.


TS1: There is no doubt that the more knowledge a person can gain, the more capable and excellent a person can be. When teenagers go to universities, they step into a new environment that builds up for cultivating and train them to become qualified enough to living in society.
Information: Dual degree.
Elaboration: Students choose dual degrees could gain more knowledge and cultivate their various abilities than those who only have one degree during undergraduate.

TS2：Studying courses in other fields could help students concern their major from different perspectives and widen their horizons.
Information: Students major in architecture should take courses about art, engineering, history.
Elaboration: Architects need to design a building based on various fields of knowledge. They need to know local culture, clients' preference to suit their design to its context. Learn mechanics to design reasonable structures and appearance.

TS3: the extent of studying extra courses should be fully controlled and balanced.
Information: attend to extraneous courses and neglect essential major subjects.
Elaboration: extraneous courses usually are attractive to those choose to take them, so it is prone for them to force excessive attention and energy into it, leading to neglect their own tasks of their field of study.

In conclusion, from what have been discuss above, university should encourage students to take other courses outside their field of study but universities need to set a deliberate discipline to control and balance the extent of major and extra courses. Other courses can help students become more capable of confronting different and difficult situation in the future, which could help their career development and enhance their living levels.

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模考之后补

RazorLXUID：3543691

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RazorLXUID：3543691

Issue 6/14/96/116
A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Framework: Same issue in different perspectives or contexts.

My Outline


        1. Kindergarten

                1. Should. the interests of learning; encourage the curiosity.
        2. Primary School

                1. Should. basic, essential and comprehensive knowledge which is necessary for everyone.
        3. Middle and High School

                1. Should not. Except for some curriculum which is essential for everyone, there should also be some optional curriculum to fit to everyone's preference; helpful for students to choose major when they apply for universities.


Analysis of Model Text

Framework: Same issue in different perspectives or contexts.

Model Outline


        1. Adopting the standardized national curriculum would be more feasible for school in less developed regions to get support and help.

                1. Same learning resources for students in regions of different development levels.
                2. Possibility for schools to re-use lesson plans.
                3. For teachers, more convenient to take temporary jobs in different regions.
        2. National curriculum would be useful for universities to assess the applications from all over the nation more objectively.

                1. INFO: currently the admission system relies on standardized test results.
                2. INFO: extra workload.
                3. ELABORATION: same national curriculum lead to capability to use the GPA as a more accurate indicator.
        3. We need to be cautious about the risk of the government imposing certain idealogical agenda to the schools through requiring a national curriculum.

                1. INFO: education for all students regardless of backgrounds.
                2. INFO: education not for propagation of political ideology and values.
                3. ELABORATION: national curriculum away from political bias or influence from the government.

芸乔UID：3596115

回复看题

芸乔UID：3596115

芸乔 发表于 2017-8-31 11:49
回复看题

In this memo from the Board of Directors of Butler Manufacturing, the author recommends shorter work shifts, because the nearby Panoply Industries, with shorter work shifts, reported lower on-the-job accidents than Butler Manufacturing. To support his/her claim, the author quotes the report mentioned above as well as a government study about the relationship between sleep deprivation and work accidents. Convincing though the argument may seem at first glance, there are several questions concerning his/her reasons requiring further analysis before we evaluate the validity of this recommendation.

To begin with, although it is reported that 30 percent more accidents happened at Butler Manufacturing than at Panoply Industries, two questions should be answered. The first one is the exact number of the accidents. It is possible that Butler Manufacturing hired much more workers, and so the number of the accidents is superior to another industry, while the rate of accidents is higher in the latter one. What is more, the last five years’ data should be accessible to the directors. Is the past year special? The possibility that machines too old to cause more accidents is also exist. If the author can provide information to these two questions, his recommendation may be stronger.

Furthermore, even though there is relationship between the sleeping hours and accidents, it would be arbitrary to be applied to Butler Manufacturing. Whether the accidents were attributed to the sleep deprivation exactly should be answered. If other elements are reproved, the authors suggestions would be valid. Otherwise, his/her recommendation should not be taken into consideration.

Finally, it is of great significance to answer the question of whether the workers would reasonably utilize the work shifts. That is to say, will the workers have a good rest during the work shifts? If workers engage themselves in the mobile phones, the shorter work shifts would change nothing.

To sum up, although it is possible that the recommendation would help to lower the possibility of accidents, no conclusion can be derived from the information in the memo. Only after the questions above are answered can we evaluation the author’s recommendation and decide whether the company should apply it.

前意识的斑点UID：3383834

非常支持

丽丽酱香饼UID：3764419

A memo from the Board of Directors of Butler Manufacturing argued that Butler should reduce their work shift by one hour to make their workers safer on the job, because their neighbor Panoply Industries work shift is one hour shorter and they had less work accidents. According to a report, which demonstrated a strong connection between tiredness and accidents, the author thought it is plausible to take this recommendation from the memo, but there are some crucial questions need to be answer about the working condition in Board and Panoply, the real reason of on-the-job accidents in the two industries, and the actual effect of work shift.

Firstly, to evaluate the recommendation, we need to know more information about Board and Panoply. What are their working conditions? Perhaps workers in Board deal with dangerous machine but Panoply’s just make some package, their basic accident ratio are different, no matter what strategy Board take, they won’t have the same number of accident as Panoply. Thus, it is not a good idea to follow Panoply to cut the shift hour. What if the work in Board depend much more on individual? If every worker in Board is responsible to a procedure, they need to work until their part finished, shifting by time confine will cause other problems, which will do harm to the whole industry. In these cases, shortening work shift may not help Board reduce their accidents but decrease their profit.

Another question is that what is the real reason of on-the-job accidents happened in the two industries. If the main reason of accidents in the two were the same, like workers’ fatigue, reducing work shift hours might be useful. But what if the accidents in Board were mainly due to some problems of their machine? It makes no sense to disregard the real reason of the accidents and take this recommendation in blindness. Or maybe Panoply had less accidents just because they have a better protection system, which is the thing Board need to learn rather than the work shifts. Obviously, the shorter work shifts hours will not contribute to reducing accidents on work.

Even if we get the answers that Board and Panoply have almost the same working condition, and on-the-job accidents in the two are result from workers exhausted, we still cannot make a reasonable prediction that reducing work shifts will decrease the accidents. To apply to this suggestion, we need the answer that, is the an hour shorter helpful a lot for workers’ rest? Panoply probably have other strategies to refresh their worker, like a placing a living room provide with comfortable bed and chair for rest, or offering free coffee and snacks. Without learning these additions, only shortening work shifts enlarge the effect of work shift, which may just make a little difference in on-the-job accidents.

In conclusion, before take the action of shortening the work shifts, there are questions about the two industries’ need to be answered. What are their working environment? What factors cause their work accidents? What is the effect of work shifts? Clear answers of these questions are necessary to evaluate such recommendation and are decisive to determine whether it should be taken or not.

好难过啊。。。写啊写啊写不完。。。┭┮﹏┭┮

issue 6/14/96/116
A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Pre-college education is one of the most concern for every nation. Some people propose their nation to give students the same curriculum before college. I agree with that, it is a good strategy to save money in education and guarantee the education equality. Meanwhile, applying this proposal could help university to improve the quality of education.

TS1：Firstly, it is more economical for national government to develop a set of national curriculums than provincial curriculum, because the research of making entire course system and the education resources like books and trained teachers require a large number of money which provided by taxpayers.
Eg1: making entire course need experts’ long-time research: survey, experiment, review
Eg2: matched education investment like books public, teacher training is a considerable funding

TS2: For students, the same curriculum gives them the education equality. As some students live in poor area while some live in major city, same curriculum more possible to be helped in education.
Eg1: reusing books and experiment material
Eg2: volunteers are more convenient to teach in poor area because they have learned the same curriculums

TS3: In addition, same national curriculums will also help universities assess their applications and arrange college curriculums.
Eg1: same curriculums make GPA more convince to evaluate a student’s performance in high school
Eg2: because of the same curriculums the students have taken, they will have nearly the same basic knowledge to choose their major in college, which will make the arrangement of college curriculums efficient to avoid some repeated class.  

前意识的斑点UID：3383834

In this argument, the Board of Directors claims that Butler Manufacturing need to shorten workers' work shifts time to improve its safety record. The on-the-job accidents happened because the work shifts were too long. Both the government report and the past report of the workers can demonstrate that fatigue are the main factors. However, the author need to answer more questions, which is related to the reports, because a lot of detailed evidence are needed to prove the direct relationship between working hour and injured rates.

To begin with, the author assumes that the report, from the past year, remained the same. Did the result of the report from this year change? It is possible that the Butler Manufacturing starts changing the policy after the high injured rate. Thus, the report could not represent the current injured rates. Even if the report could demonstrate the current injured rates, the data of the report is not persuasive enough. Did Butler Manufacturing has more workers than nearby Panoply? Who collects all the data and how? Perhaps, the Butler Manufacturing had more accidents because it had more workers. Thus, 30 percent could not really show that the injured rates of Butler Manufacturing is higher than Panoply Industries.

Moreover, even though the data was correct, the background of Panoply Industries and Butler Manufacturing. Is the Butler Manufacturing the same as Panoply Industries? Did they produce same types of product?  For instance, Butler Manufacturing might produce microwave food products, while Panoply Industries produce automobile, which required a lot of energy from the workers. The Butler manufacturing has longer working hours might because it required less man force from the workers. In fact, long working might not even be the main reason that cause the accidents. Perhaps, the equipment of the factor is outmoded. Thus, it always hurt the workers accidentally.

Furthermore, the author makes a bold assumption that the recent study from the government could prove the relationship between fatigue and on-the-job accidents. Who made this report? Who did they ask from this report? Did they ask both male and female? It is likely that they only ask people, who worked in the government, to collect data. Maybe they only ask male workers for this question. Thus, the study might demonstrate the relationship between sleep deprivation and on-the-job accidents.

In conclusion, the author states that shorter shifts can help Butler Manufacturing decreased its on-job injured rates. However, h/she fails to answer question related to the differences between Panoply and Butler, the numbers of the workers in the factories as well as the detailed information of the recent government study.

mzlgjgUID：3804664

14.A?nation?should?require?all?of?its?students?to?study?the?same?national?curriculum?until?they?enter?college.?
Write?a?response?in?which?you?discuss?your?views?on?the?policy?and?explain?your?reasoning?for?the?position?you?take.?In?developing?and?supporting?your?position,?you?should?consider?the?possible?consequences?of?implementing?the?policy?and?explain?how?these?consequences?shape?your?position.
?
Frame：viewing this issue from different perspectives: students; society and government.
?
TS: It’s a good standard for most students to study all the same courses before they enter college. So I generally agree with this statement. For students, they will acquire basic knowledge of more subjects than before. For the society, all students are treated equally with the same courses and tests for admission into college will be no longer different in different areas. For the nation, it will be much more convenient and effective to administrate the education before college.
?
TS1：Students can and also should learn the basic knowledge from a wide range of subjects.
Example: Chinese policy of division of arts and sciences during high school in the past. Due to their specialization into their future fields too early, their horizon is correspondingly narrow, which bears no good for their future development.
?
TS2：The society ensures that all students are equally treated in their education after implementing this policy.
Example: the standard curriculum now ensure every students with fair educational resources.
?
TS3：And this principle also applies for better management of education for the whole nation.
Example: Once the whole country’s education before college is governed by only one standard, and further adjustment or amendment of education will be easily carries out.
?
现在电脑网上不了寄托，只好用手机写一个提纲..