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[主题活动] 恳请兄弟姐妹们进来拍砖 狠狠地拍 怎么解恨怎么拍 [复制链接]

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2016 US-applicant 新任版主

发表于 2018-4-16 23:04:10 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 Honig 于 2018-4-20 17:21 编辑

贴出来, 好像比较能激励自己认真修改习作.

非常期待各位能给我点指点, 恳请拍砖.

我太懒了, 自己一个人闷头写, 既不会好好写, 也不会好好改.

[主题活动] 8月、9月GRE同主题写作(附视频教程与点评)

issue范文与提纲目录(tesolchina)
http://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3837722

规范化考试已经是最公平且最可操作的改变命运的途径了

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2016 US-applicant 新任版主

发表于 2018-4-16 23:20:20 |显示全部楼层

No.9 Choice of major or goals

本帖最后由 Honig 于 2018-4-20 17:20 编辑

9月7日-9日同主题练习
http://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3837722

9)    Choice of major or goals (15<135>,  20<32, 39, 98, 129, 136>,  3<35, 137>,  51<71>)

issue 32- model essay
http://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3837722

Progress: Full text DONE


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2016 US-applicant 新任版主

发表于 2018-4-17 16:49:48 |显示全部楼层

No.4 Challenging the authority

本帖最后由 Honig 于 2018-4-20 17:20 编辑

No.4 Challenging the authority (4, 17<68>,  18, 21, 23, 42, 65, 66, 89)



Issue 4 示范
http://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3837722

Progress: Outline DONE



提纲-issue 17
http://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3837722

Progress: Outline DONE

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2016 US-applicant 新任版主

发表于 2018-4-17 17:01:36 |显示全部楼层

No.2 Human attitudes and behaviors

本帖最后由 Honig 于 2018-4-30 22:02 编辑

Human attitudes and behaviors (11<99>,  38, 61, 78, 93, 141)

Issue 011/099

People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

Quick Outline DONE
3 MPs DONE

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2016 US-applicant 新任版主

发表于 2018-4-17 19:32:23 |显示全部楼层

A.114

本帖最后由 Honig 于 2018-4-18 23:15 编辑

[主题活动] 9月1日至9月6日同主题写作

78<114, 116, 117>

The company should choose Buzzoff over Fly-Away as the provider of pest control services to control the loss of food stored in warehouses. To support this claim, the vice president points out that the loss of food in the warehouse protected by Buzzoff is significantly lower than that protected by Fly-Away.




114) The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distribution company with food storage warehouses in several cities.

Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company to provide pest control services at our warehouse in Palm City, but last month we discovered that over $20,000 worth of food there had been destroyed by pest damage. Meanwhile, the Buzzoff Pest Control Company, which we have used for many years in Palm City, continued to service our warehouse in Wintervale, and last month only $10,000 worth of the food stored there had been destroyed by pest damage. Even though the price charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower, our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

请根据上面的memo,写一句话概括论证的
主要观点 论据 理由
写完后可以回帖看参考答案,并将自己的答案和参考答案作比较,写一些反省文字。





Sample Answer

简洁版: In the memo, it is argued that Buzzoff should be selected over Fly-away as the pest control service provider to reduce pest damage.

完整版: The vice president contends that the company should engage Buzzoff for pest control instead of Fly-away.  To support his choice, he compares the values of food loss in the warehouses served by the two companies and believes Buzzoff could help save money despite its higher price.   





Remarks
- [boilerplate] someone contends that ..
- [boilerplate] engage A instead of B
- [better expression] compare the values of food loss: avoid unnecessary concrete details which lead to a sense of wordiness and awkwardness
- [better word] reduce pest damage >> control food loss:
- [better word] {protected by << served by} + some company
- [missing info.] despite its higher price




Paraphrase

完整版: The vice president contends that the company should engage Buzzoff for pest control instead of Fly-away.  To support his choice, he compares the values of food loss in the warehouses served by the two companies and believes Buzzoff could help save money despite its higher price.   


According to the vice president, the company should cooperate with Buzzoff rather than Fly-away in pest control because the warehouse served by B has suffered remarkably less food loss than that served by F, even though F's service is notably cheaper.

Sample Answer:

According to the vice president, Buzzoff should be hired to control the pest because the company lost less food in terms of money value in a warehouse served by Buzzoff than a warehouse managed by Fly-away. Even though the service provided by Fly-away is cheaper, the vice president insists that Buzzway can help the company save more money.  


Remarks
- even though .. , someone insists that it can/should...
- lose less food in terms of (regarding) money value

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2016 US-applicant 新任版主

发表于 2018-4-17 21:27:40 |显示全部楼层

A.114 Claim Data Warrant

本帖最后由 Honig 于 2018-4-17 22:07 编辑
114) The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distribution company with food storage warehouses in several cities.

Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company to provide pest control services at our warehouse in Palm City, but last month we discovered that over $20,000 worth of food there had been destroyed by pest damage. Meanwhile, the Buzzoff Pest Control Company, which we have used for many years in Palm City, continued to service our warehouse in Wintervale, and last month only $10,000 worth of the food stored there had been destroyed by pest damage. Even though the price charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower, our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.


Claim: Buzzoff's pest control service is more reliable than Fly-Away's.
Data: The warehouse (in Wintervale) served by Buzzoff suffered remarkably less food loss than that served by Fly-Away (in Palm City): $10k (B) vs. $20k (F).
Warrant: Had the following assumptions been valid, Buzzoff can help reduce more values of food loss.

Assumptions:
1. weather, climate, geographic factors of the two locations are identical regarding pest's proliferation and difficulty of food storage/preservation
2. total amounts of food stored in two warehouses are the same: absolute number & percentage
3. types of food stored in two warehouses are the same
4. top pervasive pests in two areas are of the same types

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2016 US-applicant 新任版主

发表于 2018-4-17 22:28:45 |显示全部楼层

Magoosh lecture

本帖最后由 Honig 于 2018-4-18 23:05 编辑
The government in Littleville plans to build a large mall in a newly constructed zone just outside the city. Littleville hopes to attract many wealthy clients who it believes will shop at the Littleville Mall’s many planned boutique stores. Ten years ago bigsburgh, a city in the same province, built an upscale mall in its fashionable downtown district. The mall was an instant success, so Littleville Mall can expect a similar return on revenue in the first year of its opening.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, ou may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples weaken the conclusion.

You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion


  • Littleville vs. Bigsburgh: customer basis, social classes of the majority of residents, average income, spendthrift or frugal,
  • location: newly constructed zone just outside the city vs. fashionable downtown district, convenient, far away, infrastructure (highway, road), public transit,
  • time: today vs. 10 yrs ago, financial crisis, economy goes upwards or downwards,
  • assumption: wealthy clients will be attracted by (upscale) boutique stores
  • vague: an instant (how long) success (what kind of) -- 1st yr of its opening
规范化考试已经是最公平且最可操作的改变命运的途径了

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发表于 2018-4-18 23:16:11 |显示全部楼层

A.69/70/115

本帖最后由 Honig 于 2018-4-18 23:17 编辑

Argument 69/70/115
规范化考试已经是最公平且最可操作的改变命运的途径了

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2016 US-applicant 新任版主

发表于 2018-4-19 06:49:35 |显示全部楼层

No.10 Learning and teaching

本帖最后由 Honig 于 2018-4-20 17:17 编辑

10) Learning and teaching (37, 58, 45<138>,  48<92>, 87,  24<29, 52>,  57, 73, 74<133,134>,  81<95>,  101)



outline-issue 74
http://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3837722

Progress: MP1/2/3 DONE.



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发表于 2018-4-20 16:54:55 |显示全部楼层

No.11 Resources Allocation

本帖最后由 Honig 于 2018-4-20 17:23 编辑

Resources allocation (5<117>,  7, 80<88>,  12<25>,  19, 36<72>,  59, 131)

9月21-23日 issue同主题练习 Resources Allocation
http://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3837722



Issue 5/117 示范
http://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3837722

Progress:



规范化考试已经是最公平且最可操作的改变命运的途径了

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2016 US-applicant 新任版主

发表于 2018-4-30 15:34:25 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 Honig 于 2018-5-4 16:30 编辑

回来临急抱佛脚了. 这些天刷TC/RC去了. Magoosh 的 Hard / Very Hard 确实不太容易啊. 醒醒, 不要紧, 写作文.

再难再多事情, 还是得挤出时间复习.

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