issue103 (写得不错,最后几天考的可以来看看 by iq28)

pippo1983UID：172110

TOPIC: ISSUE103 - "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."
WORDS: 621          TIME: 0:43:08          DATE: 2007-4-14

What is the value of studying history? Some argue that it is worthless if the study of history is irrelevant to our daily lives. However, the view towards history study is too narrow and bigoted.

Admittedly, most people find values of studying history because it provides us with inspirations to guide our daily lives. History, during which great men and women worked through real difficulties and complexities, teaches us with examples we needs. When we look at histories, we put ourselves into different real characters and situations to test our own intellect and to learn courage, diligence and ethics. For instance, many people are attracted biographies for two reasons. One is the tales and myths they contain which appeal us a lot. But the other more important one is they serve to encourage and teach us. By learning the lifetime of Edison, we gain courage and persistence from his attitudes towards failures. From the speech of Martin Luther King, we appreciate the great value of ideal towards an equal society which we are still trying to build and complete. From this point of view, history concerns our daily lives because it inspires us with vivid examples which have values all human being want to share and learn. These values about humanities and ethics determine that history has its unique value to the extent that it is related to our daily lives.

However, sometimes history serves our daily from a broad view which may be not directly associated with our daily lives. History bring the whole society, particularly its top leaders and elites, lessons and experience which help us avoid duplicating some mistakes and consequently improve the whole society. Take the World War II as an example. After the World War I, the victorious countries imposed an severe and cruel Versailles Treaty on the Germany, and hence the cause of World War II. By learning the lessons from the tragic results, the allied countries did not repeat the mistake but help Germany realize the Democracy and economic prosper. Certainly these policies and actions did not relate to our daily directly, they indisputably guarantee us peace and more opportunities for developing economy rather than international conflicts. Without these efforts, we may still suffer a lot from war and conflicts, lose lives of our relatives and ours. History, in this perspective, has even better value than just providing individual inspiration.

In addition, history also helps cultivate our own cultural and national identity. Every country has its distinctive features which we want our children to know and to understand. That is the one significant reason nearly every modern country encourage its involvement in the education. By learning the great achievements of our ancestors, we feel proud and a commitment to our country is formed in this way. Patriotism serves a real purpose for a country to become independent and powerful. Before the collapse of the last dynasty in China, there was rare education about history and most people at that time were at a state of numbness under which they care little about politics and the future of their country. But now, the history teaching has been infused through education, from the kindergarten to the college, in order to arouse people's loyalty to not only their ancestors and families, but the whole nation. Maybe from this point history still has no relevance to our daily lives, but no one can deny its value in maintain the cultural and national identity.

In sum, the study of history has values far beyond just serving our daily lives. It does not only provide inspiration to individuals, but also social elites to build a better society. Besides, it is helpful in maintain some unique values and pride of a nation.

[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-4-18 00:41 编辑 ]

pippo1983UID：172110

up~~

pippo1983UID：172110

明天去考场了，希望bz能评个分

chongxinlaiUID：2235209

上班中+U+U

iq28UID：2152875

What is the value of studying history? Some argue that it is worthless if the study of history is irrelevant to our daily lives. However, the view towards history study is too narrow and bigoted. (简明)

Admittedly, most people find values of studying history because it provides us with inspirations to guide our daily lives. (切入点不错,inspire可以包括在relevant之内) History, during which great men and women worked through real difficulties and complexities, teaches us with examples we needs. (再强调下need in everyday life就更好了) When we look at histories, we put ourselves into different real characters and situations to test our own intellect and to learn courage, diligence and ethics. (很多人缺的就是这种论证.这个时候下面再来例子就很不错了) For instance, many people are attracted (by) biographies for two reasons. (感觉举个确定的人的自传效果可能更好) One is the tales and myths they contain which appeal us a lot. (如果文章能有1000字的话这种调侃类型的话我觉得才可以锦上添花...否则有点冲淡主题鸟~) But the other more important one is they serve to encourage and teach us. (看看,没有举具体的例子,到了这里的例子讲的其实跟前面的论证差不多,空洞,从而也就失去了例子的意义) By learning the lifetime of Edison, we gain courage and persistence from his attitudes towards failures. From the speech of Martin Luther King, we appreciate the great value of ideal towards an equal society which we are still trying to build and complete. (例子其实就这两句就完全够了.写得不错) From this point of view, history concerns our daily lives because it inspires us with vivid examples which have values all human being want to share and learn. (虽然没有提高很多层次,但毕竟是总结了,比没有好,不错) These values about humanities and ethics determine that history has its unique value to the extent that it is related to our daily lives.

However, sometimes history serves our daily from a broad view which may be not directly associated with our daily lives. (转折的不错,一个broad) History brings the whole society, particularly its top leaders and elites, lessons and experience which help us avoid duplicating some mistakes and consequently improve the whole society. (我已经嗅到5分的味道了,上一个body强调对于个人的影响,虽然这个段落前面产生影响的部分和上一个段落有重合,这个是不利的点,但是这段可以重点强调被影响的对象不再是个人的日常生活而是整个社会的问题,这个就很bingo了.) Take the World War II as an example. After the World War I, the victorious countries imposed an severe and cruel Versailles Treaty on the Germany, and hence the cause of World War II. By learning the lessons from the tragic results, the allied countries did not repeat the mistake but help Germany realize the Democracy and economic prosper. (这个例子绝了!选材和描述都无可挑剔) Certainly these policies and actions did not relate to our daily directly, (but忘了加了?) they indisputably guarantee us peace and more opportunities for developing economy rather than international conflicts. Without these efforts, (要点明了是study 与日常生活无关的history的好处) we may still suffer a lot from war and conflicts, lose lives of our relatives and ours. History, in this perspective, has even better value than just providing individual inspiration. (可惜没有再拔高一点)

In addition, history also helps cultivate our own cultural and national identity. Every country has its distinctive features which we want our children to know and to understand. That is the one significant reason nearly every modern country encourage its involvement in the education. (ts后到了这里都没有明确出现对于历史的学习,不是很好) By learning the great achievements of our ancestors, we feel proud and a commitment to our country is formed in this way. (病句...) (后一句和前面的关联不是很好) Patriotism serves a real purpose for a country to become independent and powerful. Before the collapse of the last dynasty in China, there was rare education about history and most people at that time were at a state of numbness under which they care little about politics and the future of their country. But now, the history teaching has been infused through education, from the kindergarten to the college, in order to arouse people's loyalty to not only their ancestors and families, but the whole nation. (例子阐述不是很好,例子用处在于给出学习历史是如何cultivate our own culture and national identity的) Maybe from this point history still has no relevance to our daily lives, but no one can deny its value in maintain the cultural and national identity.

In sum, the study of history has values far beyond just serving our daily lives. It does not only provide inspiration to individuals, but also social elites to build a better society. Besides, it is helpful in maintain some unique values and pride of a nation.

虽然由于ts角度的关系段落之间无法形成很强的逻辑联系
但是段内论证(尤其是前两个段落)处理的很好
如果我是判卷人这篇无疑是5分
加油
虽然可能改迟了你看不到
但是相信你一定可以考好的说~;d:

ploploUID：2320001

仔细学习了半小时，大有收获~
感谢pippo和IQ斑斑~
:)

pippo1983UID：172110

谢谢bz，临走前看到很开心的说:) :handshake

ILOVEISSUEUID：2300195

一路顺风
6分在等着你:)

pippo1983UID：172110

还不知道该提前多久到考场呢。。请教下。。。。

iq28UID：2152875

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