issue138

velmawhiteUID：2394088

题目：ISSUE138 - "Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."
字数：480                   用时：上午 12:45:00          日期：2008-1-2

提纲：观点 同意
         人的一生总是遇到困难 小孩学步
         发现总是在失败之后 居里和爱迪生
        然而我们不能忽视失败时的态度
         总结

Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress, as the speaker asserts.  I tend to agree. Although we should not lose sight of the fact that the attitude plays a vital role on reaching success when encountered mistakes, in final analysis, it is true that mistakes can help us to make discovery or progress to an extreme extent.

To begin with, during one's lifetime, everyone inevitably faces with a various mistakes around the corner. Without these mistakes we will not grow up at all. When a child is learning how to walk, before he/she can walk alone without the parents' help, he/she falls over himself/herself frequently. From the experience of numerous tumbles, he/she eventually can walk by himself/herself. To some extent, we human have the inherent nature to amass experience from the mistake. Students also always make mistakes. The manifestation of this is that the homework that corrected by teachers. Few students would argue he/she never makes mistakes even though he/she was the best student in the class. Without the mistakes, student would never know where is wrong in his/her homework, and therefore he/she would never get progress at school. For example, one student answer the question what is 3 add 3 and the answer is 7, and then teacher will correct the answer. And if the student understands the rule, he/she will answer rightly next time. Therefore he/she makes progress on math.

In addition, discovery or progress is from the experience of failures or mistakes when it comes to some famous person in the human history. History is replete with such kind of persons. The light bulb discovered by Edison who came through more than 1000 failures during the process of the trial. Marie Curie who discovered the radium also encountered numerous failures and eventually made progress on physic and chemistry. The chief reason why we make mistakes is that we must do something violate the objective law somewhere. And by virtue of analysis of the situation, we can draw a conclusion to solve the problem and then put this into practice and at last get the result, whether fail again or success.

Nevertheless, we should not lose sight of the fact that the attitude of the one who gets success when come up against the failure plays a vital role in the pursuing for progress. If Marie or Edison gave up during research on the bulb and radium, there would be no way that we can realize the bulb and radium if no other does the research. Thus failure and mistake are not bad things, the important thing is how we deal with them, choose to give up or continue to find where is wrong and then put in practice.

To sum up, mistakes are like catalyzer when pursuing success, and we should have positive attitude to deal with them and never give up until get progress.

speaklessUID：2205899

issue138

题目：ISSUE138 - "Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."
字数：480                   用时：上午 12:45:00          日期：2008-1-2

提纲：观点 同意
         人的一生总是遇到困难 小孩学步
         发现总是在失败之后 居里和爱迪生
        然而我们不能忽视失败时的态度
         总结
这是个单命题~当然only说明这个命题的绝对性,所以一般来说,反对会好说的多,例如说不仅仅错误可以得到发现,有时候运气~可口可乐?仅仅依靠智慧没有失败~某些成功的事物确实很一帆风顺,他们的成功就是一个台阶接着台阶的(具体事例忘了).会好说一点~
那么,相反来说如果要同意本命题就要有自己独到的见解和思路了~从你的提纲来看,没有突出only,你一直在说的是困难的重要性,但是唯一性呢?为什么是唯一的呢?没有反映,这应该就是你的审题的问题了....


Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress, as the speaker asserts.  I tend to agree. Although we should not lose sight of the fact that the attitude(这里提到了态度,虽然说这个话说得有些道理,但是你如果提到了态度,那么后面,或者下文,是不是要解释一下呢?如果你觉得没必要,那么就不要提态度,或者说other things,同样,这也需要解释的:为什么other things最终还是挫折才能够得到进步?) plays a vital role on reaching success when encountered mistakes, in final analysis, it is true that mistakes can help us to make discovery or progress to an extreme extent.

To begin with, during one's lifetime, everyone inevitably faces with a various mistakes around the corner. Without these mistakes we will not grow up at all. When a child is learning how to walk, before he/she can walk alone without the parents' help, he/she falls over himself/herself frequently. From the experience of numerous tumbles, he/she eventually can walk by himself/herself. To some extent, we human have the inherent nature to amass experience from the mistake. Students also always make mistakes. The manifestation of this is that the homework that corrected by teachers. Few students would argue he/she never makes mistakes even though he/she was the best student in the class. Without the mistakes, student would never know where is wrong in his/her homework, and therefore he/she would never get progress at school. For example, one student answer the question what is 3 add 3 and the answer is 7, and then teacher will correct the answer. And if the student understands the rule, he/she will answer rightly next time. Therefore he/she makes progress on math.
在人生过程中,错误是不可避免的,这个其实只能是证明你论题的一个小铺垫,重点(从你提纲上看)应该是第二段,所以~相比之下这两段份量几乎差不多,所以....

In addition, discovery or progress is from the experience of failures or mistakes when it comes to some famous person in the human history. History is replete with such kind of persons. The light bulb discovered by Edison who came through more than 1000 failures during the process of the trial. Marie Curie who discovered the radium also encountered numerous failures and eventually made progress on physic and chemistry. The chief reason why we make mistakes is that we must do something violate the objective law somewhere. And by virtue of analysis of the situation, we can draw a conclusion to solve the problem and then put this into practice and at last get the result, whether fail again or success.
这就是一个比较严重的逻辑问题了,你想证明只有A是对的,你不能说由于A是在这里,这里,这里对的,通过举例来证明了~这种举例显得苍白无力,你难道可以举出所有的情况么?你只能去正面证明,所有的进步之前都会有失败,当论述完全后,再举出一些适当的范例,直接上事例,这种说法就是很弱的表达

Nevertheless, we should not lose sight of the fact that the attitude of the one who gets success when come up against the failure plays a vital role in the pursuing for progress. If Marie or Edison gave up during research on the bulb and radium, there would be no way that we can realize the bulb and radium if no other does the research. Thus failure and mistake are not bad things, the important thing is how we deal with them, choose to give up or continue to find where is wrong and then put in practice.
这里提到了态度...其实你这里是在说不是"失败必定导致了进步",感觉是这样,,其实离题还是有距离的
To sum up, mistakes are like catalyzer when pursuing success, and we should have positive attitude to deal with them and never give up until get progress.

改得比较粗,因为觉得你审题有问题,所以看内容其实觉得都有些偏,额~
ISSUE关键就是一条你要论证的逻辑主线,自然~要审好题
就这样吧


[ 本帖最后由 speakless 于 2008-1-13 23:39 编辑 ]