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[i习作temp] 0910G[North America Flying]Issue17 by [NAF TTG]421899282 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-7-31 19:08:57 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 421899282 于 2009-7-31 20:50 编辑

题目:ISSUE 17
字数:498         
用时:40:15:26      


We need rules and laws. The cross will be a chaos if people do not obey the traffic rules, and then they will stuck there. Thanks to the law, the society runs harmoniously and smoothly. Thanks to the law, the criminal got punished. Thanks to the law, the reasonable right was protected. Why the law possess such magic power? Because we share the same law and the law is obeyed.

If every individual is responsible to obey the just laws and resist unjust laws, everyone begins to obey his own law, which is based his own value and judge. About which is just and which is unjust, people hold various opinions. The consensus on homosexual have never been reached. Whether the abortion is just have never been settled. The execution have never been out of argument. There comes the chaos. One appeals to the law for protection, however, the defendant ignores the sue, because he think the law is unjust. The judge makes his judgement according to his own perspective instead of the law. What do we still need the court for? Thus, if the law is no longer shared and obeyed, it would turn out to be just piles of documents with black words.

Admittedly, the unjust portion of the law does exist, because it is enacted by people and people make mistakes. Law seems to be rigid and it is not flexible according to the situation since it constitutes by millions of clues. Also, law could not cover every details. Actually, law is often passed after the problems appear.However, the present law was drafted and verified before it was finally passed to carry out. That is to say, the law amasses  many people's wisdom instead of one individual's value. Even if law has several certain defect, it is still far more compelling than the personal judgement.

In addition, as to the defect of the law, there are many measures to make up. Taking United States as example, they have jury to enforce the justice of the law. The jury will differentiate two murder cases when one victim is a mob and the other is an innocent little girl. They won't both be judged guilty of first-degree murder. And certain clues of law also says "depending on the situation". Besides, most courts allow the public to attend to supervise.

According to the nature of law, the just law tends to sustain and the unjust law is doomed to be eliminated. For only the reasonable law can be comprehensively supported and accepted. Certainly, there is a department to revise the law. But everyone has the responsibility to perfect the law. The defect and unjust of law is always become clear in certain case. We need the people involved to stand up for themselves and for all of us. But resisting the law is not a accessible choice, there are many other ways to make their voice heard. There are departments to appeal and procedure to carry out. Meanwhile the media is also an impressive way to lead the public to realizing the problems and finally settling them.

Law is not just quantities of rigid clues, it is connected to a complex system, enactment, revision, etc. We have been trying to perfect it as a tool to keep our society running harmoniously. And everyone has responsibility to improve the justice of law. Whereas, disobeying and resisting the law, which one personally considers unjust, is not accessible, for it not only harms the authority of law but also impedes the execution of the law. We have better options.
no pains, no gains
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发表于 2009-8-6 13:27:45 |显示全部楼层
We need rules and laws. The cross【carrefour/crossroads】 will be a chaos if people do not obey the traffic rules, and then they will stuck there. Thanks to the law, the society runs harmoniously and smoothly. Thanks to the law, the criminal got punished. Thanks to the law, the reasonable right was protected. Why the law possess such magic power? Because we share the same law and the law is obeyed.【parallel用得不错啊。后面是3个thanks to,第二句有点多余,忽而具体忽而抽象。何不直接用这个parallel做开头就很好啦】
【emphasize了rules和laws存在的意义。】

If every individual is responsible to obey the just laws and resist unjust laws, everyone begins to obey his own law【表述欠佳】, which is based his own value and judge. 【前面一句没讲清楚,干脆去掉,这句话作branch TS挺好的。】About which is just and which is unjust, people hold various opinions.【TS】 The consensus on homosexual have never been reached. Whether the abortion is just have never been settled. The execution have never been out of argument. There comes the chaos. 【列举事实OK】One appeals to the law for protection, however, the defendant ignores the sue, because he think the law is unjust. The judge makes his judgement according to his own perspective instead of the law.【干脆进一步说明白religion,individualized morality是看待just和unjust的原因。】 What do we still need the court for? Thus, if the law is no longer shared and obeyed, it would turn out to be just piles of documents with black words.【最后一句与TS有点脱离了,你是想说“存在即合理”对吧,有强词夺理之嫌,嘿嘿。不如举个例子说某些问题必须由法律来约束。为了结构清晰最好把这个点独立开来讲,可以接着第一段的意思后面就挺顺德。】

Admittedly, the unjust portion of the law does exist, because it is enacted by people and people make mistakes. 【TS】Law seems to be rigid and it is not flexible according to the situation since it constitutes by millions of clues. Also, law could not cover every details. Actually, law is often passed after the problems appear.立法的滞后性,这个点还蛮好的。】However, the present law was drafted and verified before it was finally passed to carry out. That is to say, the law amasses  many people's wisdom instead of one individual's value. Even if law has several certain defect, it is still far more compelling than the personal judgement.

In addition, as to the defect of the law, there are many measures to make up. 【TS】Taking United States as example, they have jury to enforce the justice of the law. The jury will differentiate two murder cases when one victim is a mob and the other is an innocent little girl. They won't both be judged guilty of first-degree murder. And certain clues of law also says "depending on the situation". Besides, most courts allow the public to attend to supervise.

According to the nature of law, the just law tends to sustain and the unjust law is doomed to be eliminated. 【TS】【何来的natural law呢~~你的意思大概是要说不需要通过人为的干涉,后面讲了unjust law is always become clear in certain cases,那么怎么后面又有一句everyone has the responsibility to revise the law呢?有点矛盾】For only the reasonable law can be comprehensively supported and accepted. Certainly, there is a department to revise the law. But everyone has the responsibility to perfect the law. The defect and unjust of law is always become clear in certain case. We need the people involved to stand up for themselves and for all of us. But resisting the law is not a accessible choice, there are many other ways to make their voice heard.【这也算个小的TS了】 There are departments to appeal and procedure to carry out. Meanwhile the media is also an impressive way to lead the public to realizing the problems and finally settling them.【这段讲的层次有点乱,而且TS也不是一阵见血,要重新理顺了

Law is not just quantities of rigid clues, it is connected to a complex system, enactment, revision, etc. We have been trying to perfect it as a tool to keep our society running harmoniously. And everyone has responsibility to improve the justice of law. Whereas, disobeying and resisting the law, which one personally considers unjust, is not accessible, for it not only harms the authority of law but also impedes the execution of the law. We have better options.【OK的结尾】

TS之间的逻辑
各个人对justness观点不同→承认立法的flaw确实有存在→有很多种方法可以eliminate这些flaw(再然后就哟点不顺了,不过整体思路还是对的)→有些方法可取,有些方法不可取

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RE: 0910G[North America Flying]Issue17 by [NAF TTG]421899282 [修改]
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