fiona_young 发表于 2011-11-26 16:14:53

Issue 1

本帖最后由 fiona_young 于 2011-12-2 09:05 编辑

Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
Now Parents pay more attention to education. They all want to send their children to better educational institutions. There comes the more responsibility on the educational institutions that they should cultivate more talents and even dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. Some people hold the idea that it is teachers’ duty to guide the students to the right tracks.
After all teachers are only human being, not super heroes. Even the highest educational institution will not work its magic all the time. With tools such as exam, test, project, internship and so on, teachers as well as the parents may find the weakness and adeptness of a student. Some self-conscious students shall also realize the self-characters. However the tools mentioned above are far from perfect. How can you fully understand yourself through merely exams and tests? Not mention the teachers whom only spend limited time with you. They may see your poor score in the math exams. But they have no idea that you may remember numbers very quickly which is an important quality for a excellent stock agent. According to the score and behavior in the school, they may advise you to give up all the vacations that related to mathematic. What a huge loss for stock market!
Although many educational institutions boast about the high level working staff and abundant hardware and software resources, no one dare to say that they will dissuade a student from an area which he is unlikely to make achievement. Noting is impossible. Even Albert Eistein, whom was supposed to be a loser from the view of his handicraft teacher, succeeded finally. The blunt boy, who cannot finished his handicraft homework, invented the theory of relativity. Thank god that he had not been sent to the school for handicapped, which was once insisted by his teacher.
School, as well as college should help the students find right and efficient way of learning. We will have to learn as long as we live in this world. After we graduate, we have to learn by ourselves. As we grow up, we will gradually know our interests and strong points. That is when we can decide where to go and how far we can go. The succeed in one career not only rely on one’s capability, but also the enthusiasm. If you have no interest in mathe, you will not work on it unless some one force you to do. Even if you have great talent, that remain to be a waste. Interest is great momentum for your work. Education instituition may tell you the field that you are likely to succeed. Without any interest, it is hard for you to work by yourself.
We choose to further our study in educational institutions to help us formulate proper way of learning and get to know ourselves. Suggestions from school and teachers should be taken, but not the final decision for our life.

asdf123101 发表于 2011-11-26 19:58:30

还需要改进很多。看了第一篇,因为前几天刚写。。弱弱的说几个问题。。
1、中式英语。我很确定考官看了会很晕,虽然我也理解。多看一些原版的文章, 不要被中文写作思路给固定住了。
2、c用词不准确,不正确。比如应该用success的用了succeed,这种基础词汇尽量不要用错。。
3、逻辑不清楚。这应该是最大的问题。每一段的内容都比较散,给人一种想到那写道哪的感觉,比如第一段先写了家长付钱然后教育机构就有相应的责任,后来又写到了考试什么的工具,最后又写到了股票市场(作为举例至少写个for example,不然感觉很奇怪,至少我这么觉得。。)每个主题之间的联系不够紧密,至少应该链接词串起来。。。
4、建议看下官范和评分要求,会有努力方向的。
自己的一点点意见,共同加油~
页: [1]
查看完整版本: Issue 1