忐忑的第一次尝试写A，第一次在寄托发帖，求拍，求定位，求战友，求帮助
本帖最后由 shineamnys 于 2012-1-15 13:19 编辑已经孤独地，浑浑噩噩地准备了三个月G了，弯路走了一遭又一遭，本来打算考1G的，现在改到三月底了。
前几天狠狠地自我批评了一番，决定重新做人！！！
于是浑浑噩噩的感觉没了，咬着牙齿随便挑了一篇argument花了三四个小时终于搞定了。
但是我突然意识到——孤独依然呐~~周围木有考G的人一起探讨，我怎么知道我写得如何啊？
而作为理工科的学生，英语的底子已经够烂了，作文的底子。。。好像木有了！！
所以，紧急需要援助啊~~~
现将习作贴出，请求点拨~~~
另外，如果也有一个人奋战在G线上，并且准备拼命了，希望可以结为盟友，共同商量对策，共同勉励，一起制定学习计划！
一位，一位足以~~
SNS已经在自我批评后都停用了，联系我请用email:shineamnys@gmail.com
望得到支持，先谢过各位朋友了
TOPIC: ARGUMENT48 - The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.
"Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire, because it has spectacular natural beauty and a consistent climate. Another advantage is that housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Moreover, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services. And best of all, retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
WORDS: 496
Citing the insufficient evidence about the environment, cost and mayor's plan as well as health care,the author tries to convince us that Clearview is a wonderful place for retirement. Such plausible evidence, nevertheless, is so vague that we need more specific facts to appraise whether the suggestion is trustworthy.
In the first place, the author shows that the gorgeous landscape and stable weather of Clearview can obviously attract people being about to retire. We, however, do not know the real climate there. It is entirely possible that Clearview is chilly all around the year. As everyone knows, most people prefer living in a warm region, especially for older,and therefore this information actually undermines the author's argument. Granted that Clearview has constant mild climate, there is no guarantee that retired people will enjoy living there, because such a perfect place will definitely attract a great number of tourists, and which will result in breaking the serenity that retirees highly value.
Additionally, the author points out that the housing costs in Clearview dropped a lot last year and taxes there keep lower than those in adjoining towns. Nonetheless, the evidence here is all too insufficient to cogent. Firstly, the actual number of housing costs is not given even though the housing costs have decreased considerably during the past year. It is equally possible that the housing costs in Clearview are still much higher than the average housing costs throughout the country after its so called costs decline. Secondarily, the comparison between taxes in Clearview and the average taxes of the country is needed to assess whether taxes there is an advantage. Perhaps this region, including Clearview and other adjacent towns, has particularly high taxes, and thus Clearview still has a high tax.
Moreover, the author also indicates that the Clearview's mayor gives his word to enhance schools, streets, and public services. That sounds great but because of lacing more comprehensive evidence we cannot ensure if it is good news. The current service condition of Clearviewis unknown, and maybe it is not quite good at present. Furthermore, we have no idea about the reliability of the mayor's promise. The mayor makes that promise may just want to win the next campaign for reappointment.
Finally, depending on the fact that the number of physicians in Clearview is much more than the national average, the author confidently makes the conclusion that the health care there is great.Unfortunately, without other more clear evidence, this causal relationship is groundless. The population in Clearview may be also far more than the national average, so the ratio of physicians to the residents in Clearview, in fact,maybe lower than the nationwide average. Moreover, even though that ratio is indeed higher, the general capacity of physicians in Clearview is still open to doubt.
Lacking so much critical evidence, it is unfair to follow the author's opinion that Clearview is a best choice for retirement.
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