VITAMIN1203 发表于 2012-2-8 14:34:34

诚意求拍~issue 35 ^ ^

Educational institutions should dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed。

Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.
=========================================================================================my essay:
In the speaker's policy, educational institutions should interfere students 's pursuits of study, dissuading them from pursuing fields of study that they are unlikely to be successful. At the first glance, it seems to  be the sensible  thing that in order to succeed in the fields of study, students should follow the educational institutions' dissuasion.After all, one may argue that to pursue the fields of study that you can not succeed means nothing but just a waste of time and the educational resources as well as the students' great efforts.In my point of view, however, in addition to what factors have been discussed above, the speaker should take other issues into consideration, such as students' interests , the well-being of a society etc. .

First, implementing the policy the speaker mentioned above, a consequence that might likely occurs to one is that those who follow the educational institutions' policy mentioned above , accomplish what they pursue in their fields of study significantly .Consequently, this policy, without a doubt, benefit this society a lot, bring a good reputation to those educational institutions and ,at individual's level, help those students make a big fortune,ending it up a win-win situation,which is brilliant.

However, another consequence deserves more concern is that after the educational institutions  successfully implement this policy, almost all the students choose those fields that is more likely to succeed. Eventually, the consequence , spontaneously , is that few to study those fields which seem unlikely to be successful yet quite critical, both to society or individual. Consider that if this is true, there would be hardly anyone to study such hard and unlikely(at least it seems recently) to succeed fields like AIDS,cancer diseases.If so, what would happen to our society? What a great price would we have to pay? How many people would have to be facial  with these fatal diseases?

And what is more, one also have to realize that whether one can succeed or not , lies not in the fields that is likely to be successful, but rather ,at a great extent, in one's every efforts one makes in the process of one's pursuit, in one's perseverance especially at the obstacles one may face in the way to succeed and others' objection or opposite opinions.Take Steve Jobs who wildly regarded as a guru in electronic devices,as an example.While he was still a student, he dropped out after only one semester in college due to financial matter. After that, he still persisted his field of electronic devices , attending meetings of the Homebrew Computer Club,founding  Apple computer in the garage of his parents
.Though resigning rom Apple
in 1985 due to the conflict between Sculley
and him, Jobs founded NeXT Computer in 1985 after leaving Apple.And finally, he became the
The Walt Disney Company's largest single shareholder
and came back to Apple Inc, the company he co-founded
,after overcoming  a great obstacles and persisting his belief.
To sum up, before lanching this policy,educational institutions should take the above consequences and at the same time, the social needs as well, into consideration rather implement it hastily.While at the individual level, one might also rethink the policy and listen to the one's inner voices and  realize that whether one can succeed or not is not determined by others' dissuasion but one's capabilities and the necessary qualities of success.

zbr0009 发表于 2012-2-9 02:15:23

本帖最后由 zbr0009 于 2012-2-9 02:25 编辑

首先声明,我不是高手哈,前两段写得在我看来还不错哈,只是有2点疑问:
1、第三段我觉得,首先,你其实是想说有些领域不太能成功,但是这些领域对于社会发展必不可少。但是你的用词是critical,是至关重要的,我觉得不太准,用indispensable应该比较好。其次是例子,由于你的SUCCESS没有做具体定义,我默认为是ACHIEVEMENT而不是MONEY神马的,AIDS和CANCER我觉得这两个领域挺容易成功的啊(未必能治愈,但是有很多成就,比如发现新方法等等,每年关于这方面的成果还是挺多的)。。。囧。。或者说你能给出相对于金融等热门学科,A和C不太容易成功也行。
2、第四段,题目要求讨论的是教育机构应不应该dissuade学生from不成功的领域,但是你论证的是成不成功不仅需要指引,还需个人努力。貌似跟题目不太相关啊。。。

VITAMIN1203 发表于 2012-2-10 11:48:37

谢谢哈。你说的也有道理的。^^ 2# zbr0009
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