新G issue70 处女作 诚心求狠拍+困惑求解
本帖最后由 wenye1213 于 2012-2-10 14:24 编辑题目70 Claim: Universities should require everystudent to take a variety of courses outside the student's major field ofstudy.Reason: Acquiringknowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become trulyeducated
5月27新G 憋一天的第一次issue求大神们帮帮忙！！！
我的问题： 1、新Gissue题库里有好多题目是一样的 但要求不一样 比如 13 46 70 102题都是说的大学生应该学习专业课以外的课程。对于这样的题，可不可 以写成一篇呢？
2、对于这篇issue70 我的思路是大体同意，但是题干reason部分the best way 过于绝对， 这样的情况如何开头呢？我写成了首段没交代绝对的问题，只在第三段写了。这样算不算点题不全？
3、对于很多例子，素材上的语言很多我看不大明白，但用自己的话写又显得太直白简单，对于例子大家有什么看法和建议？
4、我是理工科的，对于AW要求不高，只求3.5. AW好迷茫真心求建议。拜谢
Mostly, I agree with the speaker’s claim that besides students’ major field of study they should also be allowed to take lots of other courses. Many majors established in universities and colleges tend to be increasingly specialized at present, yet it is indisputable that nearly all walks of life nowadays come up against increasing problems each day, the ability with which students can solve those intricate difficulties outside their own majors becomes greatly paramount and irreplaceable.
Firstly, cross-disciplinary, a distinct but related term using knowledge from one discipline to better understand another, such as sociology of music, can not only broaden students’ horizons, but also make students acquainted with a great many friends, simultaneously lay a fairly strong foundation for future. In today’s technologically advanced society it is almost impossible for those who focus attentions on concerning field to meet future’s demand. Besides, by exploring subjects outside their majors, students may find new academic fields where to lie their interests and potential career gifts. To be a scientist, particularly in 21st century, means to be a specialist, donating oneself to the focused mastery of one specific area. This means those scientists who seek to take part in boundary-spanning project must learn more about other pertinent field besides their own domains. In 1994, John Nash, the renowned mathematician in the 20th century, shared the Nobel Prize with other two co-winners. However, they were awarded not in their own area-----mathematics, but economics. Nash’s work on game theory, including the Nash equilibrium and the Nash arbitration scheme, allows people to better understand cooperation and competition among agents and players.
Further, for students majored in science, liberal education can cultivate their humanity attainments. On the contrary, for liberal arts students, science education can foster their logical skills and elevate their EQs. Interdisciplinary teaching plays a paramount role in students’ curriculum in universities. The interdisciplinary teaching approach provides much needed lifelong learning skills that are essential to students’ future learning. In the teaching, educators apply methods from more than one academic discipline to examine a theme, a issues, or a topic. The Faculty of Graduate Studies at the University of British Columbia has been supporting interdisciplinary research and teaching since it was built in 1949. Almost all of the 82 current faculty members in the College are jointly or cross-appointed between a research unit and more than one unit or department.
It’s presumptuous, however, to assert that acquiring knowledge outside one’s field is the best way to be truly educated. When it comes to true education, many people share a belief that students may escalate their abilities and enhance major accomplishments. Real education is a sort of manner through which students can learn critical and independent thinking, also provides an opportunity that students may find genuine interest and career direction, rather not simply acquires students to take diverse courses outside their major domains. Accordingly, “The best way” to become truly educated, of course, appears to be arbitrary and unreasonable. The primary purpose of education is to transmit democratic values and innovative ideas so that it can prepare new generations of citizens in society. Genuine education, as Socrates knew two thousand years ago, is eliciting knowledge from a person instead of inserting information into him.
To sum up, if students intend to foster their creativity and own strong competitive power so as to stand out among large group of competitors in future, it’s a wise policy that students are required to take a variety of courses outside their major field. Students can moreover cultivate full-blown markets of ideas and promote communication skills in society through cross-disciplinary teaching. 本帖最后由 zbr0009 于 2012-2-10 18:51 编辑
Mostly, I agree with the speaker’s claim that besides students’ major field of study they should also be allowed to take lots of other courses. Many majors established in universities and colleges tend to be increasingly specialized at present（为什么？）, yet it is indisputable that nearly all walks of life nowadays come up against increasing problems each day, the ability with which students can solve those intricate difficulties outside their own majors becomes greatly paramount and irreplaceable.
Firstly, cross-disciplinary, a distinct but related term using knowledge from one discipline to better understand another, such as sociology of music（例子没对上前面的论断）, can not only broaden students’ horizons, but also make students acquainted with a great many friends（为什么？）, simultaneously lay a fairly strong foundation for future（为什么？）. In today’s technologically advanced society it is almost impossible for those who（少个ONLY） focus attentions on concerning field to meet future’s demand（没有例证）. Besides, by exploring subjects outside their majors, students may find new academic fields where to lay their interests and potential career gifts. To be a scientist, particularly in 21st century, means to be a specialist, donating oneself to the focused mastery of one specific area. This means（前面说是specific area后面怎么就要跨领域了？这两句应该是转折关系吧？） those scientists who seek to take part in boundary-spanning project must learn more about other pertinent field besides their own domains. In 1994, John Nash, the renowned mathematician in the 20th century, shared the Nobel Prize with other two co-winners. However, they were awarded not in their own area-----mathematics, but economics. Nash’s work on game theory, including the Nash equilibrium and the Nash arbitration scheme, allows people to better understand cooperation and competition among agents and players.
Further（这个意思是与上一段形成递进么？）, for students majored in science, liberal education can cultivate their humanity attainments. On the contrary, for liberal arts students, science education can foster their logical skills and elevate their EQs. Interdisciplinary teaching plays a paramount role in students’ curriculum in universities. The interdisciplinary teaching approach provides much needed lifelong learning skills that are essential to students’ future learning. In the teaching, educators apply methods from more than one academic discipline to examine a theme, issues, or a topic. The Faculty of Graduate Studies at the University of British Columbia has been supporting interdisciplinary research and teaching since it was built in 1949. Almost all of the 82 current faculty members in the College are jointly or cross-appointed between a research unit and more than one unit or department.
It’s presumptuous, however, to assert that acquiring knowledge outside one’s field is the best way to be truly educated. When it comes to true education, many people share a belief that students may escalate their abilities and enhance major accomplishments. Real education is a sort of manner through which students can learn critical and independent thinking, also provides an opportunity that students may find genuine interest and career direction, rather not simply acquires students to take diverse courses outside their major domains. Accordingly, “The best way” to become truly educated, of course, appears to be arbitrary and unreasonable. The primary purpose of education is to transmit democratic values and innovative ideas so that it can prepare new generations of citizens in society. Genuine education, as Socrates knew two thousand years ago, is eliciting knowledge from a person instead of inserting information into him.
To sum up, if students intend to foster their creativity and own strong competitive power so as to stand out among large group of competitors in future, it’s a wise policy that students are required to take a variety of courses outside their major field. Students can moreover cultivate full-blown markets of ideas and promote communication skills in society through cross-disciplinary teaching.
总体来看，在前三段，你一直在描述跨领域学习的好处，但是题目说的是因为学生能获得true education(TE)，你并没有针对这一点。直到在倒数第二段才提出了什么是true education即“获得独立思考的能力，并且发现自己兴趣和未来职业方向”，读者才不得不返回前面看看你说的前后是否一致，这体现出了你的篇章并没有谋划好，思维没有形成一个体系，这样写出来的东西很令人疑惑。具体来看：
1、第二段你采用的是并列式展开，分别是：拓宽视野，结交朋友；适合未来发展需求；发现兴趣和职业天赋。一方面只有第三点符合你对TE的定义，另一方面前两点都是你给出的论断，没有例子支撑也没有理论推导。
2、第三段你依然采用的是并列展开，分别是：提升EQ,IQ；在大学里很重要；为学生提供终身技能；同样你还是只为第二点提供了论据。但是致命的是，你在例子和理论推导中均没有指出其达到TE的目标，导致这一段论证无效。
3、第四段，你要想反驳BEST最好的方式就是给出通过其他方式能达到TE目标的例子，或者理论。仅仅反复强调武断不能证明。
TO SUM UP，个人感觉你的思维有点发散，或者说你想到的东西很多但是没有一条线索把它们串起来，需要整理一下思路。BTW，语言是思想的载体，刚开始写不用把语言写得这么晦涩，看得我好痛苦。。。。 2# zbr0009
感谢LS对我的建议哈~~ 再次拜谢，对LS的批注我还有几处疑惑：
1、题目说的是“学校应该要求学生学习专业以外的课程，因为获得不同专业的知识是获得真正教育的最佳途径”。 其实，这篇我的想法是大部分赞同小部分反对。我同意学习不同专业知识有好处，但是我反对“the best way”和"truly educated" 。所以，我在2、3段都在说交叉学科的好处，想在第4段谈real education的真正意义 从而否定“best way”（你说的应该举例子反驳TE，而不是单说武断，我很赞同）。所以 我没想到2、3段的内容一定要和4段的TE定义对应起来，不前后呼应不可以吗？
2、我写完也确实觉得自己写的思路很混乱，可对于这种题目是观点型的没有什么好的破题办法。BYW，想问下准备自己的模板到底应该怎么弄啊，这么多类型不同的issue不能用同一种吧？
3、第一次写issue，比较纠结，不知道语言和四六级作文的有什么区别，不是说aw的语言用四六级的词汇就可以么，所以表达上想尽量复杂些，没想到让人读起来这么晦涩{:3_70:}{:3_70:}{:3_70:} 本帖最后由 zbr0009 于 2012-2-11 00:08 编辑
汗。。。我看到你原文第二个问题写得只是反驳BEST WAY，所以觉得你是赞成TE是目标的。。不过我还是没搞懂你是认为TE和E不一致？还是认为跨领域不是达到E要求的最佳途径？
如果是后者的话其实你反对的仅仅是BEST WAY而已，换句话说，你还是将能否实现TE（这个标准是不能变的）作为了评价教育的一个标准。如果是前者的话，就很诡异了。。。或许你还有其他的想法？
关于展开思路，如果我按照你的思路的话，我这样展开你看如何：
1、第二段，首先跨领域学习能拓展视野，当广泛的了解了当代科学之后，我们能充分发掘我们的兴趣，从而选择一个适合自己的职业方向，为未来打下基础。例子不变。
2、第三段，通过以上的分析不难看出，跨领域在教学过程中起着重要作用，同时跨领域教学也在当代大学里扮演重要角色。例子中应当着重强调跨领域在大学当中扮演的重要角色，比如研究成果90%来自学科综合等等。否则只叙述UBC采取了跨领域措施而没有后话，万一后来UBC因为这个倒闭了。。。。汗。。。
3、第四段让步中就牵扯到上面的问题了，如果只是反驳BEST WAY的话，应该还是比较容易的，比如除了学术之外，道德品质一样重要。
关于遣词造句，我也是新手，这篇文章我觉得晦涩主要是你的插入语用的过于泛滥和分散了，真心写成了长难句了。。。我觉得能跟阅读里的一般难度句子差不多就行。 4# zbr0009
我的想法是跨领域不是达到E要求的最佳途径，你的思路我觉得挺好的，可是有几个问题：
按你的思路，第3、4段之间怎么联接，从跨领域的好处到反驳best way，我总觉得从逻辑上没法联系啊，这样写起来就觉得很散乱 让步可以在前，也可以在后，上面的思路是按照你写的思路，也就是让步在后，改写的。。
我个人的习惯是把让步写在前面，也就是首段给出观点之后， 比如针对本题就是大正小负观点，第二段就进行让步，第三段再转折。但是我最近在上新东方课的时候，我的写作老师说他的习惯是在最后进行让步，据说效果也可以做得很好，但本题貌似不太好。。 对于第一个问题，如果内容差不多的写一篇就行了，其他的列下提纲，把不会的表达查一下写一下就行了吧 6# zbr0009
好的 了解 真心谢谢你的建议~~
页:
[1]