ReFormK 发表于 2012-5-29 20:05:36

Issue 45 求拍!!!修改必回!互帮互助!

There is a long-debated question whether competition in the highgrades motivates or limits the quality of real learning. As the author'sthesis, he strongly believes that competition for high gradesseriously block the quality. However, as far as I am concerned, thetwo facets are not mutually exclusive; I assume that appropriate competitionwill do well in study.    First of all, I disagree with the argument what the author says. We must acknowledge thata student will not spend the same much energy on study in different times, notevery student will study earnestly in the same class and not everystudent will learn the same much knowledge even if everyone pays thesame time. How could educators distinguish student's study effects?How could students appraise their study constitution? Withoutexact criterion to estimate a     student’s learningconstitution, how could a student improve their learning quality? Meanwhile,grade which examines a student in a short time can reflect on a student’s studylevel at some extent. In this case, grades are set in order to tell the extent ofa student’s study in the school in identical time. Moreover, with thevisual competition of grades, students clearly understand motivation for excellence is stimulated.   On the other hand, we must realize that undue competition for highgrades indeed limited the learning. Exorbitant attention of grade in turns ofnoticing seeming grade for so-called honor frequently distorts the authenticeducational value. I have strongly experienced the adversity for my father's excessive careof my grades in my high school time. In that time, as soon I came back home,the first sentence came from my father was always how my gradesin the class were. Below the huge tension, my study motivation at that time wasnot the knowledge or other studies interesting, but just my father's content ofhigh grade.   Therefore, when we build the perception that grade is just a tool for usto examine our study effects, we will not pay too much attention to the gradebut to the real quality of learning. On the visual grade for every student, onecan explicitly realize how much time he has spent on the study andhow effective his study methods were compared with other students. Under thecircumstance, when a student improves his study methods and involves inthe study, his grades will naturally improve in the meantime.    In general, I disagree with the assertion that competition for high gradesseriously limited the quality of study, for the reason that high grade is justa standard for educators. Moreover, when we truly improve our studyability, we will get a high mark in the exam.

birdyhuang 发表于 2012-5-30 11:23:18

你最好自己改一下..至少不要有拼写时态等问题飒the two facets are not ...
感觉连续三个not every student是想用排比么..感觉下表达会好点吧...不知道..我也是半懂不懂的
Exorbitant attention of grade in turns ofnoticing seeming grade for so-called honor frequently distorts the authenticeducational value这句感觉有点搅,noticing seeming??
还有一些搭配比如below the tension,估计是我词汇量不行了...感觉没怎么听过
最后,个人觉得每段开头最好是你的观点内容,不是一个泛泛的概念,比如first of all,每个人的***是不一样的,然后再展开你的排比..我是这么写的,也不知道怎么样..
纯粹小白的一点看法..要是觉得没啥意思就无视我吧-.-
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