第一篇argument请大家评一下
题目：A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual’s levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring.Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the
argument.
提纲：
1.cortisol在一天中分泌的量不一样多，导致firstborn monkeys的多
2.参加实验的unfamiliar Monkeys表现出的情况不一样（生理及心智的成熟度）
3.Firstborn humans：1.参加实验的孩子来自不同的家庭，家庭背景及教育程度不一致。2.参加实验的孩子来自同一个家庭，但是显然firstborn 与家长生活了更长的时间，因此在一段absence之后，有可能cortisol会多
4.作者认为第一次怀孕的母后会把多的cortisol传给婴儿猴，这个没有试验论证因此不合适。进一步说即便有影响，这个传给婴儿猴的量有待商讨。
正文：
As the letter discussed that the firstborn infant whether in monkeys or human beings, always has a higher individual's levels of stimulation. This explanation seems somehow unconvincing if gives it some complements, the completeness and exactness will be better.
As mentioned that when monkeys in a stimulating situation such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey, firstborn infant monkeys produce up to as twice amount of the hormone as their siblings do. What possibilities should be taken into account is that the time factor and the behavior the unfamiliar monkeys performed. First, the amount of hormone produced by monkeys could be a function of time, which varies rigidly with time, such as the morning-amount hormone would be higher than the afternoon then evening. Secondly, the behavior demonstrated by unfamiliar monkeys could be distinctively different with each other's mental and physiological maturity, so many kinds of behaviors which unfamiliar monkeys show up would have inconsistent influence on these rhesus monkeys. These two considerations could coincidently contribute to the level's hormone on firstborn infant monkeys, so that it is definitely could not omit these two influences.
When pay attention to the firstborn humans high levels of cortisol which is more likely the same as monkeys, one situation which ought to be think about is that these firstborn humans' backgrounds, such as different family living conditions and education level, all these staff could exert different effect on the level of stimulation when they meet their parents after an absence. Moreover, another situation can apply is that the familiarity manifested with the firstborn and their siblings. There is a fact that the firstborn spends much more life time living together with his or her parents, compared to the his or her siblings, so that it is easy to thought that the firstborn would be more eager to look forward his or her parent's coming back after an absence. Provided with these two situations the argument would be more complete and accurate when high level's stimulation in firstborn humans.
The editor probably takes that the first-time mother pass her high level of cortisol to the son she first bear during pregnancy as grant. The possibility lies in is that there is no explicit evidence or exact experiment carried out by any scientist or research to clarify this speaking. Another one, although the first-time mother inherit stimulation to her son at the time when the baby in her belly, what is now not clarified is that the total amount of stimulation mother gives baby. Someone maybe higher and another is lower, this probably depends on some other environmental circumstance factor.
All in all, what the editor firstly ought to do is that he or she should check the time factor and effect of behavior which unfamiliar monkeys impose to the firstborn one. Meanwhile, the accordance with monkeys in human beings would be more accurate, if backgrounds of firstborn human and familiarity have been taken into account. Lastly, the mechanism that first-time mother pass her high level of cortisol to the baby need to be double check from the experimental prospect.
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