peiyun 发表于 2012-9-24 19:01:12

审题、思路和结构——Issue 34有感

先贴一下ISSUE 34的题目:
In any situation, progress requires discussion among people who have contrasting points of view.

今天在写ISSUE 34的习作时,有一种结构不能和思路match的感觉。不知道大家有没有这样的体会。我看很多朋友都用的是正、反、交锋的三段的思路,不知道这样的思路是不是回觉得略死板。

不知道题目中对有些名词“钻牛角尖”的做法是否可取,感觉有的时候做分类就像是钻牛角尖的感觉。ISSUE34 里面讲progress,我就觉得有很多中progress,不仅仅是通过讨论的progress。

所以,这次写ISSUE 34的时候我的想法是:不仅仅有discussion可以帮助我们进步;另外,也不仅仅有两个不同观点的discussion才能帮助我们进步。进而说这个并不是required in any situation。

提纲是:
1. 有很多方式能够帮助我们进步
2. 单独谈论discussion的话,它的确能帮助我们进步,不论大家持相同观点还是不同。但不同观点的讨论也回出现一定的问题。
3. 举一个相同观点讨论的使我们进步的例子。也指出相同观点讨论的局限性。

个人感觉这篇文章,我的思路没能很有效的表达出来。想请教一下大家的建议。非常感谢

文章如下:


When it comes to progress, we mean that a newer and better perspective has substitued for the former one, which is triggered by some matter. It could be an enhancement of past views, or a completely opposite point. Once we got a better perception, we progess indeed. Actually, there is not only one kind of progress, and so is the way to achieve it. We could find the beauty of nature by travelling, learn new things by reading books, tone up our muscles by taking exercises, of which all could called progress, discover laws of nature by conducting experiments. Briefly, progress is not only brought up by counter dicussion.

Furthermore, Geogre Bernard Shaw once said, "If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have an apple. But if you have an idea and I have an and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas." By listening, analyzing and introspecting, we will have a better understanding. And it is true for any form of effective and harmonious discussion. However, there are several problems haunting the discussion between people with different views, which might undermine the effect of discussion. For example, one might have trouble expressing his or her ideas clearly, or a person is so aggressive that the opposite will be oppressed. Certainly, we will probably make progress by disputing with people who have contrasting views, moreover, those with similar points of view could advance together.

In August 1955, Dartmouth Conferences is carried out in Dartmouth College, which is considered the seminal event for artificial intelligence as a field. The project is proposed by 4 scientists who share similar perspectives in this field, hoping that a significant advance would be made if a carefully selected group of scientists work on certain problems together for a summer. And this is an example of how people with shared views in a general direction progress. For exchange of ideas are involved in the discussion, we could correct our erroneous views by listening to points of others. If there are only persons with the same ideas, we do enhance the idea, yet consequently, it is less likely to recognize the limits of shared positions and gain a brand new perception, or even go further in the wrong way.

In a word, not only discussion between opposite points help us progress.

Basilisk 发表于 2012-10-4 14:17:41

为什么你们都爱用In a word,你们in一个word了吗。。。

我感觉issue并不是非常考察你对题目的逻辑的判断,你并不需要对题目的每个词来进行分析。你只需要根据题目,选定自己的主题,然后充分论述自己的主题。

你写的整体感觉很vague,要不就是表述不到位。第一段说有很多种progress那so what呢。第二段我没看出来你想论述什么。By listening, analyzing and introspecting, we will have a better understanding.你是想说自己思考重要还是讨论重要。这完全可以分两段。第三段主题句呢?上来就是例子?建议你好好读读OG范文。
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