绞尽脑汁,我的第一篇,issue161
5555,写的真是很费劲,我的第一篇issue不限时,还参考了一下网上的point,还是写不出来东西,400字
Issue 161 “In this age of intensive media coverage, it is no longer possible for a society to regard any woman or man as a hero. The reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished.”
In this age of highly developed technology and communication, intensive media coverage is now making its way into every nook and corners of society and the daily life of ordinary people. Many people couldn’t help complain that the reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished. In general, I agree with the assertion that intense media scrutiny nearly always serves to diminish the reputation of society's heroes or would-be heroes.
As we know, mass media generally consist of profit-seeking entities, whose chief objective is to maximize profits. Based on this objective, it is justifiable for them to make their programs and reports focus on the issues which can cater the audience's needs and tastes in order to attract more viewers, readers or listeners. Ironically, media viewers, readers and listeners today are so wild about finding information about the misfortunes and misdeeds of others, especially those heroic public figures, far more compelling than information about their virtues and accomplishments. People are accustomed, sometimes even love to see and hear the political scandals or pink news of stars in front page of a daily newspaper. So if anyone unfortunately falls into the media scrutiny, he or she seldom have the change to escape from the tragedy whose reputation will eventually be diminished.
Moreover, demographic studies show that the vast majority of the public relying on mainstream media for their information, more or less, lack the sort of critical thinking skills and objectivity to see beyond what the media feeds them and to make a fair and informed judgment about a public figure, whether heroic or not. Intense media scrutiny raises a presumption, at least in the public's mind, that their hero is guilty of some sort of character flaw or misdeed. Even the media made a mistake and the victims can have no chance to vindicate themselves and even get damage awards, a damage award is no indication that the public has expunged from its memory a perception that the fallen hero is guilty of the alleged flaws.
To sum up, I concede with the arguer’s assertion that intense media scrutiny nearly always serves to diminish the reputation of society's heroes or would-be heroes. In such an age of intensive media coverage, it is no longer possible for a society to regard any woman or man as a hero. Issue 161 “In this age of intensive media coverage, it is no longer possible for a society to regard any woman or man as a hero. The reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished.”
In this age of highly developed technology and communication, intensive media coverage is now making its way into every nook and corners(单数) of society and the daily life(复数) of ordinary people. Many people couldn’t help complain that the reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished. In general, I agree with the assertion that intense media scrutiny nearly always serves to diminish the reputation of society's heroes or would-be heroes.
不错呀!谁说你写不好呢?这第一段不就很好嘛。
As we know, mass media generally consist of profit-seeking entities, whose chief objective is to maximize profits. Based on this objective, it is justifiable for them to make their programs and reports focus on the issues which can cater the audience's needs and tastes in order to attract more viewers, readers or listeners. Ironically, media viewers, readers and listeners today are so wild about finding information about the misfortunes and misdeeds of others, especially those heroic public figures, far more compelling(这个词用得不好。可以说a compelling adventure story,但一般不说sb. be compelling…用interested就可以了。更高级的词自己查一下吧,嗬嗬) than information about their virtues and accomplishments. People are accustomed, sometimes even love(love 也用得不好.热爱?) to see and hear the political scandals or pink news of stars in front page of a daily newspaper. So if anyone unfortunately falls into the media scrutiny, he or she seldom have the change to escape from the tragedy whose reputation will eventually be diminished.
前面的论证过程很好,但最后一句结论与前面联系不紧密。你这段主要是从客观方面讲:a媒体要盈利—〉热点新闻.b 大众的不良嗜好. a b共同导致了c:媒体关注丑闻。
自己再体会一下。
Moreover, demographic studies show that the vast majority of the public relying on mainstream media for their information, more or less, lack the sort of critical thinking skills and objectivity to see beyond what the media feeds them and to make a fair and informed judgment about a public figure, whether heroic or not. Intense media scrutiny raises a presumption, at least in the public's mind, that their hero is(复数) guilty of some sort of character flaw or misdeed. Even the media made a mistake and(删掉and,加逗号) the victims can have no chance to vindicate themselves and even get damage awards, a damage award is no indication that the public has expunged from its memory a perception that the fallen hero is guilty of the alleged flaws.(最后一句不是很顺。太长的句子如果不能很好地把握,就干脆改短句。逻辑清晰是第一位的。)
观点不错,但论证还显单薄。其实抓住critical thinking 做文章很容易。
To sum up, I concede with the arguer’s assertion that intense media scrutiny nearly always serves to diminish the reputation of society's heroes or would-be heroes. In such an age of intensive media coverage, it is no longer possible for a society to regard any woman or man as a hero。
很不错,真的。第一篇能做到这样已经很不容易了。说明你在写之前作了相当大的准备工作,之前的英语功底也比较深厚。
说说缺点:
1 个别的词用得不太好,还有单复数和长句的问题。不过问题不大。
2 有些虎头蛇尾。开头两段不错,不过后面两段写的一般。
3 字数不够,这一点你也注意到了。你的两段都是从客观方面来写的。其实完全可以再加一段主观方面的。比如从英雄这个词入手。可以说英雄本身就带有一种浪漫的虚构,世上极少有圣人,在媒体的scrutiny下肯定会reputation be dimished.这样既有了字数,又显得全面。可以把你第二段的最后一句话当这段的结尾。
好好努力,这样的起点已经相当高了。继续写吧,没问题的. 图片不错,呵呵。 嗯,每天两篇,一定要坚持
btw:那个图片是我绣的十字绣^_^
本来想学大家弄个有图片的签名档,结果成这样了
//blush
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