下班回来，弄了二小时写出第一篇Issue，太短了，太肤浅了，请大家猛拍，我要进步……
请大家拍砖，越猛越好，好在我已经开始写了，坚持…… 帮你改了一下，是我自己的经验总结。69 Some people believe it is often necessary, even desirable, for political leaders to withhold information from the public. Others believe that the public has a right to be fully informed.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.
I think whether it is necessary, even desirable for political leaders to withhold information from the public largely depends on the information in itself.
首段太短了，建议去论坛里看 版主 使徒的几篇issue突破技巧，怎么破题，怎么组织结构，首段怎么写。首段的写作方式典型的有：1. 重述或者paraphrase题目，然后表达观点；2. 重述题目，但是表达让步，under certain conditions不成立 3. 背景描述。解释下statement，表达观点。个人推荐第三个，练得多了也不困难。
there are some circumstances when it is necessary for political leaders to withhold information form the public. political leaders work for the country and the people in the country. the country has its national security problems, about which the information is often highly secretive and confidential, the political leaders should keep this kind of information from the public, for it may endanger the country if the information concerned with the national security spread to the public and then terrorists get a clue about it.
All of the above can be summarized: Political leaders should withhold information from the public in order to ensure the country’s security. Undoubtedly, some information such as top confidential secrets should not be yielded to the public in avoid of being taken advantage of terrorists.
比top confidential更进一步，Also, some information should be withhold to prevent the national chaos. As we all know, if the whole country’s people are trapped in to the chaos, it is even difficult for the politician to take actions to solve the problem.
As a matter of fact, political leaders are just like ordinary citizens, they have their privacies, too. the public has no right to know the information about personal privacy of political leaders. It is necessary for political leader to withhold the information about their personal life from the public if they want to.这段怎么说呢，我个人认为是跑题了。
In democratic countries, the governments keep running only due to the taxes paid by the public, so the public has the right to be fully informed by the political leaders about the economic growth, environmental conditions, budget expenditure and tax policies, etc. it is not necessary, even wrong for political leaders to withhold this kind of information. for one thing, the economy will go bad if the information about the markets and economy policies are not transparency, second, it will give rise to government corrupt and scandals when the information about budget expenditure is withhold by political leaders.
不好意思我没有权限附件，只好全贴出来了 本帖最后由 Dr_JohnDoe 于 2012-12-25 15:00 编辑
GRE的作文不是这么写的，你写的更像托福的independent task。建议先把OG看一下，再多阅读一些范文。
我这里提几个主要问题：
1.态度要客观，最好不要出现"I think"；
2.虽然你考虑到了什么时候应该withhold information，什么时候不应该，但文章结构散漫，两种观点没有任何转折或者过渡句连接（哪怕使用一个however也会好很多）；
3.文章太短了，300字都不到。试着把观点提炼出来，每段围绕一个中心句写，举例说明，充分展开，文章自然就长了；
4.可以稍作总结，保证文章完整性。
你AW还处于初级阶段，提高起来应该很快，加油！ 谢谢你的回复，我会努力的，谢谢！
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