可不可以有大神帮我改一下我的作文谢谢argument4
In this letter, the author is trying to convince the reader that Adams Realty can sell houses at better price in a shorter time based on author's previous experience and the two agencies' past performance. However, the argument the author provides is not convincing due to several false assumptions.First the author indicates that Adams Realty has 40 real estate agents while Fitch Realty has 25, some of which only work part-time to show that Adams Realty is superior. Granted that more people usually mean that more work can be done in total in less amount of time, the author assumes that the quality of the workers in two realties are similar while it is fully possible for the 40 workers in Adams Realty to be amateurs whereas the 25 workers in Fitch Realty are highly efficient. Moreover, the author points out that many of the real estate agents in Fitch Realty only work part-time yet the author fails to specify how much is many and how many hours these agents clock each week. If the efficiency of the agents in Fitch are significantly higher, there might not be an appreciable difference in the quality of the two agencies.
Additionally, the author points out that Adams Realty had higher revenue than that of Fitch last year and home sale also averaged higher to support his assertion.
However, the author made two assumption that, if proven false, would weaken the argument. One assumption is that revenue of last year can reflect the revenue of the agencies in the future. Even with history of the two agency and their past revenue going back many years, it is still difficult to predict the future prospects of companies let alone using data of only a single year. Another assumption the author made is that the houses the two agencies sold were considerably similar in value. Because the data the author provided is average home sale price, it is not unlikely for Adams to have made one very high sale of one magnificent mansion which brought up the average price while all the other houses sold by Adams was lower than Fitch.
Lastly, the author provided personal experiences with both companies to further prove her point. The home the author sold with Adams took only a quarter of the time it did with Fitch. With this piece of evidence the author not only assumed that the two houses were similar in value and popularity but also house market had remained consistent in 10 years, both of which are not probable. Author's second home could be in better area than the first home or the home might have been in better condition. At the time when author sold his second home the house market might be booming in contrast to 10 years ago when house market could have been at a depression. There is also the possibility that both agencies had improved greatly in efficiency compared to 10 years ago so it is no longer possible to compare the results of the two sales. For all of the reasons above, author's experience is an invalid support for the claim Adams is better than Fitch.
Undeniably, all homeowners wishing to sell their house would hope to find an agency that can make a great profit out of their house in a short time. Though the author
is trying to help his friend, more evident is needed to strengthen his argument. If the author can provide evidence confirming his assumptions, we may well conclude
that Adams Realty indeed excel over Fitch.
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