鱼的宝贝 发表于 2004-2-11 00:58:15

issue 9, 科技类,请指正

Academic disciplines have become so specialized in recent years that scholar’s ideas reach only a narrow audience. Until scholars can reach a wider audience, their ideas will have little use.

Technology and science have progressed greatly from beginning of the last century. They serve the society and humans on every aspect of everyday life and solve variety of questions in nature. While, at the same time humans’ curiosities drive the progress of science and consequently divide it into several different ramifications. The higher advance of one region is, the more ramifications would it have. As academic disciplines have become so specialized in recent years, the scholar’s ideas reach only a narrow audience, which set a question upon to us that whether the ideas would have use. Yet in my point of view, the answer is yes without any doubt.

It is because of the human’s avaricious curiosity towards the colorful world make science highly developed and specialized. As for a student in 19 century, he would get confused nowadays when facing so many choices on selecting a subject on biology, for there are so many ramifications in the region such as cytology, biochemistry, cryogenics, microbiology, and there are even more professionally and specially branches in these subjects. The reason for these overspecialized ramifications is human’s unsaturated curiosity, which leads to nonstop inquiries and solutions. As a consequence, science and technology are on the way of more specialized and higher developed.

Though highly specialized academic ideas may seem useless from appearance, they would benefit humans in the long run. Since 1944, some scientists presented that DNA was a significant factor in determining biologic characters of all species in the world. While at that time genetics were still working on chromosomes but ignoring the importance of DNA. But mavericks never hesitate because of the ridiculous and misapprehensions, but still on their way studying. This kind of persistence and intelligence make genetics and biochemistry progressed in an astonishing speed. The DNA study nowadays benefits people not only in disease diagnoses and cure, but also medical jurisprudence to detect murderers, heritage affairs and so on. This case indicates that people should consider a matter in prospective, especially on academic region.

Maybe it is true that some academic discipline ideas would be useless in one region, but it would afford available method to another region. As science has been divided into so many regions, across appears in different ramifications. When taking two ideas into consideration, new technology comes out to benefit humans. For instance, mass spectroscopy is a highly developed technique in physics, but it is not well informed because of its complication. Yet when applied to medical region and combined with protein technology, a new apparatus named MELDY appears to better diagnose cancer from taking one drop of body fluid from a human. Today’s highly developed medical diagnose apparatus mostly due to brilliant doctors and scientists who can catch the sparkle on both region and engender new methods to serve more.

After considering the benefits of highly specialized ideas in academic, we must admit that too much immersed in one region would do more harm than good not only to the scholar but also to all humans. As to the scholar, overemphasized in one region would make his life dull and narrow his mind on further development. As to the society, “Crazy scientists” are referred to the scholars who care only about their academics without considering ethics, humanity and society. Some scientists’ altitude toward cloning, for example, is so extreme that one of their ultimate goals is to clone a human as a fulfillment in human’s history. Their careless for the society and natural rule would undoubtly bring dreadful result.

All in all, the ideas that are drawn from specialized academic region are intelligence of modern scientists and would be useful to humans and society in the long run. Even if a wider audience cannot accept them now, they are sparkles of science and technology that they would arouse flare in our minds.

DriverEntry 发表于 2004-2-11 11:24:33

No.1 issue 9, 科技类,请指正
Academic disciplines have become so specialized in recent years that scholar’s ideas reach only a narrow audience. Until scholars can reach a wider audience, their ideas will have little use.

Technology and science have progressed greatly from beginning of the last century. They serve the society and humans(society里难道不是由人组成的?感觉这个HUMAN有点多余,或者改成individuals。与前面的集体相对应) on every aspect of everyday life and solve variety of questions in nature(解决很多自然问题?solve后面去掉吧). While, at the same time(能和前面的while合用吗?) humans’ curiosities drive the progress of science and consequently divide it into several different ramifications. The higher advance of one region is, the more ramifications would it(倒装?改为正常顺序吧) have. As academic disciplines have become so specialized in recent years, the scholar’s ideas reach only a narrow audience, which set a question upon to(upon 和to连用?) us that whether the ideas would have use. Yet in my point of view, the answer is yes without any doubt.
第一段力图介绍背景。不过说的废话多了些。不如论述一下专业化分成这样是历史发展的必然结果。或者将现在的科技和古代对比一下。比如参考范文中的这句:While it was fine for early physicists to learn and understand the few laws and ideas that existed during their times, now, no one individual can possibly digest and assimilate all of the knowledge in any given area.
另外最重要的就是:对题目理解篇了.不是YES OR NO的问题.

It is because of the human’s avaricious curiosity towards the colorful world make science highly developed and specialized(这句语法不对,不如把because of去掉,再加个that。改成强调句). As for a student in 19 century, he would get confused nowadays(if he lived nowadays)  when facing so many choices on selecting a subject on biology, for there are so many ramifications in the region such as cytology, biochemistry, cryogenics, microbiology, and there are even more professionally and specially branches in these subjects. The reason for these overspecialized ramifications is human’s unsaturated curiosity, which leads to nonstop inquiries and solutions. As a consequence, science and technology are on the way of more specialized and higher developed.
这一段说专业细分是发展的趋势。放在第一段比较合适。单独成一段就有点跑题了。而且这段基本都是事实性的东西。不用说大家也知道。

Though highly specialized academic ideas may seem useless from appearance, they would benefit humans in the long run. Since 1944, some scientists presented(改成proved比较好) that DNA was a significant factor in determining biologic characters of all species in the world. While at that time genetics were still working(主语是学科,谓语是work?改成focus好了) on chromosomes but ignoring the importance of DNA. But mavericks never hesitate because of the ridiculous and misapprehensions, but still on their way studying(这句和本段中心有关系吗?). This kind of persistence and intelligence make genetics and biochemistry progressed in an astonishing speed. The DNA study nowadays benefits people not only in disease diagnoses and cure, but also(in) medical jurisprudence to detect murderers, heritage affairs and so on. This case indicates that people should consider a matter in prospective, especially on academic region.
这段说明科技在一开始也许没作用,但是时间长了就有作用了。感觉还是跑题呀。

Maybe it is true that some academic discipline ideas would be useless in one region, but it would afford available method to another region. As science has been divided into so many regions, across appears in different ramifications. When taking two ideas into consideration, new technology comes out to benefit humans. For instance, mass spectroscopy is a highly developed technique in physics, but it is not well informed because of its complication. Yet when applied to medical region and combined with protein technology, a new apparatus named MELDY appears to better diagnose cancer from taking one drop of body fluid from a human. Today’s highly developed medical diagnose apparatus mostly due to brilliant doctors and scientists who can catch the sparkle on both region and engender new methods to serve more.
这段继续跑题。

After considering the benefits of highly specialized ideas in academic, we must admit that too much immersed in one region would do more harm than good not only to the scholar but also to all humans. As to the scholar, overemphasized in one region would make his life dull and narrow his mind on further development. As to the society, “Crazy scientists” are referred to the scholars who care only about their academics without considering ethics, humanity and society. Some scientists’ altitude toward cloning, for example, is so extreme that one of their ultimate goals is to clone a human as a fulfillment in human’s history. Their careless for the society and natural rule would undoubtly bring dreadful result.

All in all, the ideas that are drawn from specialized academic region are intelligence of modern scientists and would be useful to humans and society in the long run. Even if a wider audience cannot accept them now, they are sparkles of science and technology that they would arouse flare in our minds.

总体感觉:对题目理解有偏差。你似乎是在论证科技有没有用,但这个和题目的意思相距较远。
注意这是分析性写作,可以用看ARGU的眼光来看一下ISSUE。本题的第一句“由于专业的细分,使得很多思想只能背少部分人所知”,第二句:“直到学者能够接触大量的听众,他们的研究才有用”.显然第一句只是个铺垫,目的是为了推出第二句的结论.(其实这里也有混淆的地方。“scholar’s IDEAS reach only a narrow audience”和“SCHOLARS can reach a wider audience”是两回事,这点也有必要在文中说明。感觉很多ISSUE题目也有故意混淆视听的嫌疑)
作者的逻辑是:因为很少人知道科学家的思想,所以这些思想没什么用.再推一步,就是只有很多人知道科学家的思想,这个思想才有用。那么“少数人”是指什么人?“多数人”是指什么人?科学家的思想怎么叫有用?思想通过什么来起作用?怎样才叫“reach a audience” 这些都是值得思考的问题。
如果赞成的话,可以这样列提纲:
1、科研思想转化为成果需要企业家的资金赞助,如果他们不知道该思想。那么该思想就无法发挥作用。
2、某些科研需要政府的支持,如果政府不知道该思想,那么这些研究就无法进行下去。
如果反对的话,提纲如下:
1、人民大众不需要知道某个科技产品(如计算机)的原理如何,他们只要会用它就可以了。
2、人民大众不需要知道某个科技成果的是由谁提出,如何发展完善,他们只要知道最终结果如何使用即可。比如你不知道傅立叶级数是谁提出的,(笨蛋?)但是你照样可以用他来证明很多东西。

罗嗦了半天,希望鱼宝贝不要见怪。再提个建议,你为大家把孙员素材整理出来是很好的。不过这些素材是死的东西。写ISSUE首先要有自己的thinking。这个是很重要的。有个想法后,再找例子就水到渠成了。反过来,看到科技,专业细分,就先想到一堆例子。那思路就肯定偏了。总之,希望也要多为自己考虑考虑,多锻炼一下思维。

不过素材整理也不要放弃哦,我还等你的政治类素材呢。呵呵

鱼的宝贝 发表于 2004-2-11 12:10:48

对这个题目,我的理解是
科技由于专业化过强而没有大量的听众。如如没有听众的话,过于专业的思想是没有用的。
我的论点想说明就算没有大量的听众,专业思想还是有用的。是和你的论点相反的一面。为了证明我的论点给了几个分论点
1. 科技的专业化是由于人类的好奇心引起,同时也会进而激发人的好奇心。所以专业的科学思想是有帮助的。
2.科技的专业化思想即使在短时间内没有大量的听众,也不能说他没有用,日子久了就有用了
3.科技的专业化思想在一个领域内没有用,和另一个领域结合会有用。
4.科学家要全面发展自己,否则专业化的思想有没有听众都是没有用的
我知道那一方面该怎么写,但是不是因为孙元的原因我才会写专业细分。我研究的就是很专业的东西,所以经常在想我研究的东西会不会收益于许多人,会不会有人来关心我的方向。一看见这个题目,就想到这个方面去了,心想就算没有人现在知道我的专业的重要性,还是可以激发我的好奇心,而且也许将来会很有用,也许有的人看见了会和他的项目相结合就更有用啦。有点偏激了撒,一看见题目的specialized, narrow audience, little use脑子就犯晕。

不过好像从你的方面更好说清楚这个问题,换个角度吧。收~~

ps:孙元的工具箱我还没有看到政治类,等~~科技类我想说的话比他的多。 谢谢你的建议,我正在不停的锻炼我的thinking,但是看起来好像不够,呵呵,加油吧:)
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