Issue103,没限时,欢迎大家批评
103. "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."The study of history seems to bog down in the rapidly-changing society, which is radically different from the past. So many people began to treat the study of history as waste of time, especially to the extent that it is not relevant to our daily lives. However, I would like to insist, after fully understand the real value in itself, that the study of history is valuable regardless of its relevance to our daily lives.
In my opinion, the value of the study of history lies more on its sense to the humanity, to the spiritual aspect of human beings, either as an individual or as a whole, rather than the utilitarian role, argued by some historians and other scholars, that the study of history plays in contemporary society, like, say, providing inspiration by great human achievements in history and preventing us from repeating mistakes make by our ancestors. It does not mean that I want to deny those utilities as part of the value of the study of history beyond our daily lives; nevertheless, I just do not consider them as the most powerful refution to the assertion that the study of history has no value unless correlating to our daily lives. Instead, we should get out of the thought of utilitarianism in understanding the true value of the study of history, and turn to whether the study of history is meaningful for lives of our human beings.
The study of history is one of the ways from which people identify themselves. Cicero, a famous Roman philosopher, said: "One will never grow mature if he knows nothing about the history before him." That is true. Animals have no need to know their histories, which are meaningless to them. By contrast, our human beings have psychological lives, and the needs of self-identity, and it is history that we always resort to when identifying ourselves, just as Karl Jaspers put that, "Nothing will be more significant than history for self-identity." It is people's instincts to trace back to the origins of their families or the cultures in their society, to find out how their families propagated from one generation to another, or how their culture developed from past to now, only from which, people think, can they recognize themselves better in contemporary world.
Furthermore, our comprehensive perspectives of humanity also rise from the study of history. We should be feel fortunate that our human beings have a long history lasting thousands years, by the study of which, people find out various lives styles and cultural modes along the history, and realize different understandings of true and false, goodness and evil, beauty and frightfulness by different people in different historical periods. Those knowledge and perspectives deposited generation by generation, all together molding the characteristics and appearances of human beings. The study of history is like a string to link the past and present, which help us to jump out of the boundaries of contemporary lives, and to better understand the meaning of humanity, to better know what we are doing and what we should do.
In short, the study of history is such a kind of knowledge, which makes us wise as well as more conscious about ourselves. And, unlike technology or politics, the study of history has its own special values, which lie deeply in the spiritual world of human beings rather than the relevance of our daily lives. The study of history seems to bog down in the rapidly-changing society, which is radically different from the past. So many people began to treat the study of history as waste of time, especially to the extent that it is not relevant to our daily lives. However, I would like to insist, after fully understand(after后要跟动名词) the real value in itself, that the study of history is valuable regardless of its relevance to our daily lives.
In my opinion, the value of the study of history(history study即可) lies more on its sense to the humanity, to the spiritual aspect of human beings, either as an individual or as a whole, rather than the utilitarian role, argued by some historians and other scholars, that the study of history plays in contemporary society, like, say, providing inspiration by great human achievements in history and preventing us from repeating mistakes make by our ancestors.这句话实在太长,到这里之前都是逗号。建议拆开,否则读者会很吃力。 It does not mean that I want to deny (罗嗦了,I do not deny即可)those utilities as part of the value of the study of history(history study即可,否则那么多of,读来晕头转向) beyond our daily lives; nevertheless, I just do not consider them as the most powerful refution(拼写有错误,到底是哪个词?) to the assertion that the study of history has no value unless correlating to our daily lives. 文中应尽量避免出现I we等词。这点可参见imong最近写的文章。Instead, we should get out of the thought of utilitarianism in understanding the true value of the study of history, and turn to whether the study of history is meaningful for lives of our human beings. 其实你这写了这么一大段,意思就是不能只从utilitarian的角度来看问题,但是实质内容却不多,只是翻来覆去说同一个意思。要注意增加有实质内容的句子。
The study of history is one of the ways from which people identify themselves. Cicero, a famous Roman philosopher, said: "One will never grow mature if he knows nothing about the history before him." That is true. Animals have no need(need not即可) to know their histories, which are meaningless to them. By contrast, our human beings have psychological lives, and the needs of self-identity, and it is history that we always resort to when identifying ourselves, just as Karl Jaspers put that, "Nothing will be more significant than history for self-identity." It is people's instincts to trace back to the origins of their families or the cultures in their society, to find out how their families propagated from one generation to another, or how their culture developed from past to now, only from which, people think, can they recognize themselves better in contemporary world. 其实完全还可以继续论述,这里都是点到即止,不够深入。how their culture developed from past to now这一点就可以写很多东西。
Furthermore, our comprehensive perspectives of humanity also rise from the study of history. We should be feel fortunate that our human beings have a long history lasting(应用of) thousands years, by the study of which, people find out various lives styles and cultural modes along the history, and realize different understandings of true and false, goodness and evil, beauty and frightfulness by different people in different historical periods. Those knowledge and perspectives deposited generation by(用to比较好) generation, all together molding the characteristics and appearances of human beings. The study of history is like a string to link the past and present, which help us to jump out of the boundaries of contemporary lives, and to better understand the meaning of humanity, to better know what we are doing and what we should do. 这段写的好,尤其最后几句话
In short, the study of history is such a kind of knowledge,(逗号不必要) which makes us wise as well as more conscious about ourselves. And, unlike technology or politics, the study of history has its own special values, which lie deeply in the spiritual world of human beings rather than the relevance of our daily lives.
总的来说不错,你的思维是有深度的,如果在表书上更清楚、深入一些就好了。语言上长句多了些,建议参考wglxh最近写的系列文章。
你这篇文章,类似的和相关的文章可能有许多前人写过,或者还有范文。你可以搜索一下,对照一下这些文章。 或参照该帖:《在本版找前人作文的方法》http://211.151.90.54/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=154812&highlight=%CC%E2%BA%C5
希望你也能多多修改其他朋友的文章。尤其是提点结构上和想法上的建议。因为你不可能每个题目都练过来啊,看别人的题目,自己脑子过一遍,既可以给别人提建议,自己又多了一次训练的机会.为别人服务的人优先得到斑竹的修改哦! 多谢斑竹能对偶得文章做出这么详细的批改,提出这么深刻的建议。我会认真对待这些问题的。
再过一个星期就要参加作文考试了,很高兴也很希望继续在这里得到大家的帮助,不仅是写作上的,而且是信心上的。
只是很抱歉,现在时间实在很紧,可能不太有时间批改其它网友的作文,请斑竹原谅。不过我考完作文后一定还会常常来这里的,因为我觉得写作不仅是应试,而且是实实在在提高英语水平的一个很好的途径。到时候希望自己的经历也能给大家提供帮助。
再次谢谢斑竹。 好,祝你考试顺利!考完来和大家分享经验哦!
Issue103(前两篇都没有人理:(,it doesn't matter, 我继续努力,并且遵循版主
Issue103 第3篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间:50分3秒 553 words
从2005年2月14日16时36分到2005年2月14日17时50分
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The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives.
------正文------
The modern society is stepping forward rapidly everyday with its people in hustle and bustle fighting for a better living and with tradition eroding. People seems to have little time to study history as their precedents in the Middle age did, which is perceived as a problem of industrialization and modernization. Is it really a problem? In my point of view, study of history has value, but only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives. After all, it is the quality of our daily lives is the whole aim of all, not history.
History is valuable as it is a collection of experience, the part of which that are relevant to the nowadays reality can be studied and used. This part, however, is going to be less and less as the society is increasingly characterized by changing and variety. Should we stop trying to experiment on airplane just because in the history someone thought he could fly and tried and die? The technology we have and the society situation is totally different now to those in the history, how can we called these kinds of history experience valuable? Only when the history experience has some relation to today's daily lives, can we learn something from it, or we'll lose in the ever-changing society.
One may argue that history not only is collection of experience, but also provides an insight in to human mentality and morality. I agree that history provides an insight in to human mentality and morality, but I should point out that the insight need to be relevant to our daily life to be accepted. In the past, people considered the so-called "His/Her Majesty" as godlike, and couldn't be confronted; even bad words toward him/her were viewed as crime; A good citizen should above all show enough respects towards the king or the queen. Should we judge whether an individual is a good citizen or not by his respects to the President? Certainly this criterion is not as important as other virtues as honesty and diligence. Why can't we accept the insight in to mentality and morality in the history? The reason is that we are in a different era, and we have now our own moral criteria and our own way of perceiving people's behavior. It's no doubt that virtues such as honesty are respected all along the history, and that's why history insights have their values. Nonetheless, their values only exist when they are relevant to nowaday daily life.
In addition, studying history is not costless, especially in this era of changing, in which people have so many things to study and their time is so precious that studies doing no good to improving the quality of their daily life is not worth pursuing. Royalty in the Middle age can read and discuss books on history to great detail, while no one in the modern western society have so much time to spent on such a not promisingly useful activity. The few historians should sort out useful pieces of history and the vast of us need only study the pieces instead of the whole history.
In conclusion, study of history can't be over-evaluated, because history can be misleading when it bears information far from our daily life, and because we can't afford to studying things not relevant to our daily lives. The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives.
------正文------
The modern society is stepping forward rapidly everyday with its people in hustle and bustle(s?) fighting for a better living and with tradition eroding. People seems to have little time to study history as their precedents in the Middle age did, which is perceived as a problem of industrialization and modernization. Is it really a problem? In my point of view, study of history has value, but only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives. After all, it is the quality of our daily lives is the whole aim of all(有点怪), not history.
History is valuable as it is a collection of experience, the part of which that are relevant to the nowadays reality can be studied and used. This part, however, is going to be less and less as the society is increasingly characterized by changing and variety. Should we stop trying to experiment on airplane just because in the history someone thought he could fly and tried and die? The technology we have and the society situation is totally different now to those in the history, how can we called these kinds of history experience valuable? Only when the history experience has some relation to today's daily lives, can we learn something from it, or we'll lose in the ever-changing society.
One may argue that history not only is collection of experience, but also provides an insight in to human mentality and morality. I agree that history provides an insight in to human mentality and morality, but I should point out that the insight need to be relevant to our daily life to be accepted. In the past, people considered the so-called "His/Her Majesty" as godlike, and couldn't be confronted; even bad words toward him/her were viewed as crime; A good citizen should above all show enough respects towards the king or the queen. Should we judge whether an individual is a good citizen or not by his respects to the President? Certainly this criterion is not as important as other virtues as honesty and diligence. Why can't we accept the insight in to mentality and morality in the history? The reason is that we are in a different era, and we have now our own moral criteria and our own way of perceiving people's behavior. It's no doubt that virtues such as honesty are respected all along the history, and that's why history insights have their values. Nonetheless, their values only exist when they are relevant to nowaday daily life.
In addition, studying history is not costless, especially in this era of changing, in which people have so many things to study and their time is so precious that studies doing no good to improving the quality of their daily life is not worth pursuing. Royalty in the Middle age can read and discuss books on history to great detail, while no one in the modern western society have so much time to spent (spend?)on such a not promisingly useful activity. The few historians should sort out useful pieces of history and the vast of us need only study the pieces instead of the whole history.
In conclusion, study of history can't be over-evaluated, because history can be misleading when it bears information far from our daily life, and because we can't afford to studying things not relevant to our daily lives.
写的不错哦,加油!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Issue103 The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives.
The modern society is stepping forward rapidly everyday with its people in hustle and bustle fighting for a better living and with tradition eroding. People seems to have little time to study history as their precedents in the Middle age did, which is perceived as a problem of industrialization and modernization. Is it really a problem? In my point of view, study of history has value, but only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives. After all, it is (去掉it is) the quality of our daily lives is the whole aim of all, not history.
History is valuable as it is a collection of experience, the part of which that are relevant to the nowadays reality can be studied and used. This part, however, is going to be less and less(越来越少的怎么样了?) as the society is increasingly characterized by changing and variety.(文章中最好少用被动语态)Should we stop trying to experiment on airplane just because in the history someone thought he could fly and tried and die? The technology we have and the society situation is (are) totally different now to those in the history, how can we called these kinds of history experience valuable? Only when the history experience has some relation to today's daily lives, can we learn something from it, or we'll lose in the ever-changing society. (你的论点是只有与人们生活相关的历史才是有价值的,而你这段开头的分论点是说与人们生活相关的历史越来越少。所以分论点没能支持你的论点。不过后来你的例子又说随着时代的变化,过去的很多经验今天已经不再适用,但是并没有说是否说那段历史是否与日常生活有关啊?感觉写的比较散)
One may argue that history not only is collection of experience, but also provides an insight in to human mentality and morality. I agree that history provides an insight in to human mentality and morality, but I should point out that the insight need (needs) to be relevant to our daily life to be accepted. (这句话有问题)In the past, people considered the so-called "His/Her Majesty" as godlike, and couldn't be confronted; even bad words toward him/her were viewed as crime; A good citizen should above all show enough respects towards the king or the queen. Should we judge whether an individual is a good citizen or not by his respects to the President? Certainly this criterion is not as important as other virtues as honesty and diligence. Why can't we accept the insight in to mentality and morality in the history? The reason is that we are in a different era, and we have now our own moral criteria and our own way of perceiving people's behavior. It's no doubt that virtues such as honesty are respected all along the history, and that's why history insights have their values. Nonetheless, their values only exist when they are relevant to nowadays (改成our) daily life. (你这段得分论点是只有与我们日常生活相关的观点才能被接受。但是这没有说明为什么与人们生活相关的历史是有价值的啊?感觉关系不是很大,还需要再多论证一下。而这段的例子是人们的观念转变,所以不能接受旧的观念。这个例子也没很好的支持分论点)
In addition, studying history is not costless(你想说研究历史是没有价值的吧?用worthless), especially in this era of changing, in which people have so many things to study and their time is so precious that studies doing no good to improving the quality of their daily life is not worth pursuing.(这句话写的比较乱) Royalty in the Middle age can(could) read and discuss books on history to great detail, while no one in the modern western(可以把western去掉) society have so much time to spent(改成would like to waste plenty of time会好一些吧?) on such a not promisingly useful (去掉no,把useful 改成useless) activity. The(Only) few(去掉few) historians should sort out useful pieces of history (还是应该说一下历史学家系统的研究历史)and the vast(vast放在这里修饰us不太号) of us need only study the pieces instead of the whole history.
In conclusion, study of history can't be over-evaluated, because history can be misleading when it bears (embraces) information far from our daily life, and (去掉 and) because we can't(cannot) afford to studying things not relevant to our daily lives.
文章的优点是结构清楚,
主要说一下缺点:感觉第二,三段的论证没有很好的支持你的论点,即只有与人们日常生活相关的历史才是有价值的。另外,最好再每段的开头就写清楚分论点,不要加太多的铺垫。语言方面还需要进一步的改进,有些词用的不是很合适。以上是我的个人观点,如果有不对的地方,希望你告诉我,我们可以共同进步。:) 谢谢kelda,第一段最后一句是想说it is the quality of our daily lives that is the whole aim of all, not history(少了一个that)
倒数第二段是”costless"没错。
中间的论证,说实话,我自己都觉得说不过去,呵呵。嗯,第二段那句 “less and less"去掉,好好解释一下为什么古人学飞摔死的经验没有价值,那是因为他们所处的环境跟我们现在的生活环境毫无联系呀!(可不可以呢?)
第三段更专注于有些人(假想的)的看法"history helps to foster morality",说历史在这个方面的作用也是有限的,仅当历史中的moral跟我们的现实生活有关时才存在。(是不是好点儿?) 我觉得第二段解释古人学飞摔死的经验没有价值还是没有能很好的支持你的论点。如果我们与他们生活的时代不同,当然他们的某些经验在今天是不能被我们借鉴的,甚至是不予考虑的。可这没有明确说明为什么与我们日常生活不相关的历史就是无价值的呢?最好还是换一个角度来些吧。还有,历史中的moral和我们现实生活有关的意思是不是指这些moral在今天已经不适用了?所以我们没有必要再去关注有关于这些moral的历史,因为它们对今天人们做事和思考问题已经没有价值了。不过我觉得你这段的论述不是很清楚啊。
现在我也有点迷惑了,到底什么样的历史才算与我们日常生活相关的历史呢?嗯,我也觉得这道题确实不好写。希望大家可以一起讨论啊。呵呵。:)
还有,感谢paisley帮助我和helenalex结成对子。有空也帮我们看看作文哦~
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