issue136 限时写的修改了很久,大家帮看看
Issue 136 The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.I agree with the speaker's claim that the circumstance of lacking choice is very rare. Sometimes, what we lack is the willing to find some other alternatives. Moreover, we, human beings, can appeal to the development of advanced science and technology when we are really in the dilemma of absence of another choice.
Admittedly, there are some circumstances that we cannot make any choice -- that is nobody can do anything other than accept the facts. We would never go very far to find the examples. The parents we go along with and the family we lived in is determined at the moment that we were born. It is impossible for us to choose the economy status of the family, the city and the country, developing or developed. However, just like the speaker claimed, the circumstances are very, very rare, compared with amounts of choice we have to make after we have consciousness and ability to choose what are benefit us. For example, we can freely choose the breakfast, the clothes at the most extent.
We always hear the phrase "I have no choice but to do". Is there really no choice existing in that circumstance? I concede that an available or easy choice may out of the catch of the complainer; however, I do not agree with that he or she is at the edge of absence of choice, especially for the people who waiting the opportunity falling down and the choice provided to him or her straightly. A student may fail his or her matriculation and get an offer dissatisfactory so that he or she may complain that there is no choice but to go to that school. Nevertheless, actually it is a gap between reality and his or her expectation that prevents him or her finding another choice. If he or she does the utmost to try and find, more choices will rise on the surface.
Moreover, people can have more choice than before because of the technology and science. For example, last century ago, living in the earth is the absolute unique choice for mankind because of the restriction of the nature laws. Nowadays, people can escape the gravity of earth after the discovery of gravity law by Newton and the technology of spacecraft. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe that mankind in the future will have more choices, such as living in the moon, eating space food and travel to other planets, and so on, all of which is unimagined 100 years ago. And from these changes, we can safely draw a conclusion that the range of choosing will enlarge with the development of science and technology.
In sum, the absence of choice is very, very rare. Sometimes what we should do is to try to find alternatives when we in the circumstance of lack of choice. And technology is an available way to enhance the chances of more choice to us. agree with the speaker's claim that the circumstance of lacking choice is very rare. Sometimes, what we lack is the willing to find some other alternatives. Moreover, we, human beings, can appeal to the development of advanced science and technology when we are really in the dilemma of absence of another choice. 开头很有力也很清晰，不过个别词语还可在润色一下
Admittedly, there are some circumstances that we cannot make any choice -- that is nobody can do anything（这句话别扭的，people haveno choice but(to?) accept the fact） other than accept the facts. We would never go very far to find the examples. The parents we go along with and the family we lived in is determined at the moment that we were born. It is impossible for us to choose the economy status of the family, the city and the country, developing or developed.（这个例子很新颖的，但似乎展开不够） However, just like the speaker claimed, the circumstances are very, very rare, compared with amounts of choice we have to make after we have consciousness and ability to choose what are（are 却掉） benefit （单三？）us. For example, we can freely choose the breakfast, the clothes at the most exten（例子还是展开的太浅，几乎不具备论证功能）
We always hear the phrase "I have no choice but to do". Is there really no choice existing in that circumstance? I concede that an available or easy choice may out of the catch of the complainer; however, I do not agree with that he or she is at the edge of absence of choice, especially for the people who waiting the opportunity falling down and the choice provided to him or her straightly. A student may fail his or her matriculation and get an offer dissatisfactory so that he or she may complain that there is no choice but to go to that school. Nevertheless, actually it is a gap between reality and his or her expectation that prevents him or her finding another choice. If he or she does the utmost to try and find, more choices will rise on the surface. 这一段延伸上面的一段，但觉得没什么中心
Moreover, people can have more choice than before because of the technology and science. For example, last century ago, living in the earth is the absolute unique choice for mankind because of the restriction of the nature laws. Nowadays, people can escape the gravity of earth after the discovery of gravity law by Newton and the technology of spacecraft. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe that mankind in the future will have more choices, such as living in the moon, eating space food and travel to other planets, and so on, all of which is unimagined 100 years ago. And from these changes, we can safely draw a conclusion that the range of choosing will enlarge with the development of science and technology.这个例子就展开得很好，就是这样，你要让别人觉得：嗯，的确如例子所说，嗯，就是对。还有根据你的观点，这一段的笔墨应加重些
总体感觉语言是很简练的，表达也到位，但就是论证不够，尤其是对例子的驾驭，手法显得很稚嫩。继续努力啊，加油！！！ I agree with the speaker's claim that the circumstance of lacking choice is very rare. Sometimes, what we lack is the willing to find some other alternatives. Moreover, we, human beings, can appeal to the development of advanced science and technology when we are really in the dilemma of absence of another choice.建议写ISSUE不用提什么原来的speaker呀statement呀，直接说自己的观点就可以了，不然不就成了ARGUMENT了吗？最后一句话表意不是很好而且有些罗嗦：)
1、虽然有一些时候我们是没有办法选择的，但这们的时候很少。
Admittedly, there are some circumstances that we cannot make any choice -- that is nobody can do anything other than accept the facts. We would never go very far to find the examples. The parents（ we go along with删 ）and the family（ we lived in删） is determined at the moment that we were born. It is impossible for us to choose the economy（financial） status of the family, the city and the country, (developing or developed用得不好，删吧). However, just like the speaker claimed, the circumstances are very, very rare, compared with amounts of choice we have to make after we have consciousness and ability to choose what are benefit us(不解). For example, we can freely choose the breakfast, the clothes at the most extent.最后的例子用得不是太好。
2、对于很多人来说，没有选择其实只是他没有去选择或者不愿意去选择。
We always hear the phrase "I have no choice but to do". Is there really no choice existing in that circumstance? I concede that an available or easy choice may out of the catch of the complainer; however, I do not agree with that he or she is at the edge of absence of choice, especially for the people who waiting the opportunity falling down and the choice provided to him or her straightly. A student may fail his or her matriculation and get an offer dissatisfactory so that he or she may complain that there is no choice but to go to that school. Nevertheless, actually it is a gap between reality and his or her expectation that prevents him or her finding another choice. If he or she does the utmost to try and find, more choices will rise on the surface. （每个段落开头最好能有个TS让读者一目了然，让人知道你下面要论述什么，这样会很好）
3、随着科技的发展，人们的选择将会越来越多。
Moreover, people (can不要了吧) have more choice(s) than before because of (development of)the technology and science. For example, last （改为one）century ago, living in(改为on) the earth is the absolute unique choice for mankind because of the restriction of the nature laws. Nowadays, people can escape the gravity of earth after the discovery of gravity law by Newton and the technology of spacecraft. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe that mankind in the future will have more choices, such as living in the moon, eating space food(什么东西？) and travel to other planets, and so on, all of which is unimagined 100 years ago. And from(according to) these changes, we can safely draw a conclusion that the range of choosing will enlarge with the development of science and technology.
In sum, the absence of choice is very, very rare. Sometimes what we should do is to try to find alternatives when we in the circumstance of lack of choice. And technology is an available way to enhance the chances of more choice to us.
思路算比较清楚，但是表达尚有欠缺，例子也可以再考虑考虑。语言还有待提高呀！ 好快啊，我刚去改了人家一篇，已经有两人帮我改了，感动啊，谢谢，谢谢
to smallpony
总体感觉语言是很简练的，表达也到位
谢谢啊，我很满足了，以前我的文章没人看得懂，继续加油
但就是论证不够，尤其是对例子的驾驭，手法显得很稚嫩。
我完全同意， 有什么好建议吗？
ＴＯ发呆的小熊
每个段落开头最好能有个TS让读者一目了然，让人知道你下面要论述什么，这样会很好）
恩，接受，接受，改，一定改
（ we go along with删 ）
总共就没几个字，再删就－－－－
怎么办呢，字数上不去啊 Issue 136 The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
I agree with the speaker's claim that the circumstance of lacking choice is very rare. Sometimes, what we lack is the willing (willingness,willing is a adj. ) to find some other alternatives. Moreover, we, human beings, can appeal to the development of advanced science and technology when we are really in the dilemma (plight, dilemma 是指左右为难,是有选择的困境 ) of absence of another choice.
Admittedly, there are some circumstances that we cannot make any choice (+s ) -- that is nobody can do anything other than accept the facts. We would never go very far to find the examples. The parents we go along with and the family we lived (live) in is determined at the moment that we were born. It is impossible for us to choose the economy status of the family, the city and the country, developing or developed () . However, just like the speaker claimed, the (these) circumstances are very, very rare, compared with amounts of choice(s ) we have to make after we have consciousness and ability to choose what are benefit (grammar mistake, benefit (no are)) us. For example, we can freely choose the breakfast, the clothes at the most extent.
We always hear the phrase "I have no choice but to do". Is there really no choice existing in that circumstance? I concede that an available (available->straightforward,([要不跟后面有选择就矛盾了/B] ) or easy choice may out of the catch of the complainer; however, I do not agree with that he or she is at the edge of absence of choice, especially for the people who waiting the opportunity falling down and the choice provided to him or her straightly. (grammar mistake ) A student may fail ( do poor in, ( ) his or her matriculation and get an offer dissatisfactory so that he or she may complain that there is no choice but to go to that school. Nevertheless, actually it is a gap between reality and his or her expectation that prevents him or her finding another choice. If he or she does the utmost to try and find, more choices will rise on the surface(,[这个例子好象不能说明问题/B] ).
Moreover, people can have more choice than before because of the technology and science. For example, last century ago, living in the earth is the absolute unique choice for mankind because of the restriction of the nature laws. Nowadays, people can escape the gravity of earth after the discovery of gravity law by Newton and the technology of spacecraft. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe that mankind in the future will have more choices, such as living in the moon, eating space food and travel to other planets, and so on, all of which is unimagined 100 years ago. And from these changes, we can safely draw a conclusion that the range of choosing will enlarge with the development of science and technology.(这个例子好象也不大好, 能上太空也不能代表可以居住,就算能,现在也还没实现啊,不如举一些实实在在增加人们选择的科技,像网络啦,人们可以用网络银行;像交通工具,人们可以坐火车或者飞机… )
In sum, the absence of choice is very, very rare. Sometimes what we should do is to try to find alternatives when we in the circumstance of lack of choice. (logic fallacy, lack of choice, how can you findalternatives ) And technology is an available way to enhance the chances of more choice to us.
注意单复数和别的语发错误,还有就是例子尽量更贴切,第一次改作文, 意见仅供参考. 不是很会用那些编辑工具,希望你能看懂. 你的icon很帅哦，（icon有没有用错啊，见晾，我的单词很差)
谢谢你给我改文章，感动啊，第一个就是我。
plight, dilemma 是指左右为难,是有选择的困境
available->straightforward,([要不跟后面有选择就矛盾了/B]
恩，谢谢提点，你的基本功好扎实啊，学习学习，有什么速成的方法，教我几招
]这个例子好象也不大好, 能上太空也不能代表可以居住,就算能,现在也还没实现啊,不如举一些实实在在增加人们选择的科技,像网络啦,人们可以用网络银行;像交通工具,人们可以坐火车或者飞机… )
虽然没有实现，但是我说了有理由相信啊，我觉的应该可以用，当然，你的也可以。
其余的，都接受，确实有很多需要改进的，谢谢啊
BTW，你什么时候考。互相帮助啊 Issue 136 The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
I agree with the speaker's claim that the circumstance of lacking choice is very rare. Sometimes, what we lack is the willing(will) to find some other alternatives. Moreover, we, human beings, can appeal to the development of advanced science and technology when we are really in the dilemma of absence of another choice.(个人之见:理由最好放在论证的过程中)
Admittedly, there are some circumstances that we cannot make any choice -- that is nobody can do anything other than accept the facts(可以has no choice but to do…). We would never go very far to find the examples. The parents we go along with and the family we lived in is(are) determined at the moment that we were born(表达有问题…). It is impossible for us to choose the economy status of the family, (the birth place)the city and the country, developing or developed(注意结构). However, just like the speaker claimed, the circumstances are very, very rare, compared with amounts of choice, we have to make after we have consciousness and ability to choose what are benefit us. For example, we can freely choose the breakfast, the clothes at (to)the most extent.
We always hear the phrase "I have no choice but to do". Is there really no choice existing in that circumstance? I concede that an available or easy choice may(be) out of the catch of the complainer; however, I do not agree with that he or she is at the edge of absence of choice, especially for the people who waiting the opportunity falling down and the choice provided (to)(有没有provide to sb.) him or her straightly. A student may fail his or her matriculation and get an offer dissatisfactory (dissatisfactory offer) so that he or she may complain that there is no choice but to go to that school. Nevertheless, actually it is a gap between reality and his or her expectation that prevents him or her finding another choice. If he or she does the utmost to try and find, more choices will rise on the surface. (come up)
Moreover, people can have more choice than before because of (the) technology and science. For example, last century ago, living in the earth is the absolute unique choice for mankind because of the restriction of the nature laws.(例子很恰当) Nowadays, people can escape the gravity of earth after the discovery of gravity law (by Newton 因为前边许动词) and the technology of spacecraft. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe that mankind in the future will have more choices, such as living in the moon, eating space food and travel to other planets, and so on, all of which is(were) unimagined 100 years ago. And from these changes, we can safely draw a conclusion that the range of choosing will enlarge with the development of science and technology.
In sum, the absence of choice is very, very rare. Sometimes what we should do is to try to find alternatives when we in the circumstance of lack of choice. And technology is an available way to enhance the chances of more choice to us.思路是清晰的,我建议把比较弱的分论点放在最后,例如,说有些事情是不可一选择的,放最后好一点 谢谢 zhenyucoffee
Moreover, we, human beings, can appeal to the development of advanced science and technology when we are really in the dilemma of absence of another choice.(个人之见:理由最好放在论证的过程中)
我也有同感,不知要怎样修改才好,望指点
哇哇哇，你的人气好旺啊，凑个热闹
我3。30考，JJ/MM互助一下吧！ :DIssue 136 The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
I agree with the speaker's claim that the circumstance of lacking choice is very rare. Sometimes, what we trulylack is the willing to find some other alternatives. Moreover, we有点多余的说, human beings, can appeal to the development of advanced science and technology似乎限制的窄了些 when we are really in the dilemma of absence of another choice.
Admittedly, there are some circumstances that we cannot make any choice -- that is ，nobody没有人可以做任何事，似乎不通啊 can do anything other than accept the facts. We would never？ go very far to find the examples. 可以用老外280的写法，one can look no further than…The parents we go along with and the family we lived in is determined at the moment that we were born.这句感觉不地道，不如for instance, no one can possibly choose the parents he/she go along with and the family he/she lived in. It is impossible for us to choose the economy status of the family, the city and the countryas well, developing or developed. However, just like the speaker claimed, the circumstances are very, very rare, ,去掉compared with amounts of choice we have to? make how about-the amount of options we can choose from after we have consciousness and ability to choose what are benefit us. For example, we can freely choose the breakfast, the clothes at the most extent.这两个例子薄弱了些，不能体现你说的ABILITY
这里与上文联系不紧We always hear the phrase "I have no choice but to do". Is there really no choice existing in that circumstance? I concede that an available or easy choice may out of the catch of the complainer; however, I do not agree with that he or she is at the edge of THEabsence of choice, especially for the people who waiting the opportunity falling down and the choice provided to him or her straightly. A student may fail his or her matriculation and get an offer去掉 dissatisfactoryOFFER so that he or she may complain that there is no choice but to go to that school. Nevertheless, actually it is aTHE gap between reality and his or her expectation that prevents him or her finding another choice. If he or she does the utmost to try and find, more choices will rise on the surface.
Moreover, people can have more choice than before because of the technology and science. 现在才转道技术来，那么前面都偏离了开头哦For example, last century ago去掉AGO, living inON the earth is the absolute unique choice for mankind because of the restriction of the nature laws应该是the impotency to find other alternatives 吧. Nowadays, people can escape the gravity of earth after the discovery of gravity law by Newton and the technology of spacecraft. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe that mankind in the future will have more choices, such as living inON the moon, eating space food and travelING to other planets, and so on, all of which is unimagined 100 years ago. And from these changes, we can safely draw a conclusion that the range of choosing will enlargeBE EXPANDED BY with the development of science and technology.
In sum, the absence of choice is very, very rare. Sometimes what we should do is to try to find alternatives when we in the circumstance of lack of choice. And technology is an available way to enhance the chances of more choice to us.
不错，但是也有问题，感觉和我的问题差不多，限时之后论证的深入度不够，这个，我也灭有什么好办法，或许过一阵就好了 ;) I agree with the speaker's claim that the circumstance of lacking choice is very rare. Sometimes, what we lack is the willing to find some other alternatives. Moreover, we, human beings, can appeal to the development of advanced science and technology when we are really in the dilemma of absence of another choice.
Admittedly, there are some circumstances that we cannot make any choice -- that is nobody can do anything other than accept the facts. We would never go very far to find the examples. The parents we go along with and the family we lived in is determined at the moment that we were born. It is impossible for us to choose the economy status of the family, the city and the country, developing or developed. However, just like the speaker claimed, the circumstances are very, very rare, compared with amounts of choice （choices） we have to make after we have consciousness and ability to choose what are benefit (benefits) us. （这个however用的不太好，给人感觉是你强调的是the circumstances are very, very rare ,而不是amounts of choice （choices） we have to make after we have consciousness and ability to choose what are benefit (benefits) us.而前面说的又是关于机会很少，所以在句子的逻辑上容易让人产生误会）For example, we can freely choose the breakfast, the clothes at the most extent. (最后一句是总结性的话，建议不要再一次出现for example之类的词组，因为这样会给人话没讲完就匆匆结尾的感觉)
我觉得第一段就强调有些情况不能选择，不要牵扯到我们可以选择的情况。因为“有些情况不能选择”这个论点本来就是让步的，你在论证这个论点的时候又一次进行了让步，就觉得象挖了一半换了一个坑再挖一样，深度就不够了
We always hear the phrase "I have no choice but to do". Is there really no choice existing in that circumstance? I concede that an available or easy choice may out of the catch（catch没有名词，建议用grasp） of the complainer; however, I do not agree with that he or she is at the edge of absence of choice, especially for the people who waiting the opportunity falling down and the choice provided to him or her straightly. A student may fail (in) his or her matriculation and get an offer dissatisfactory so that he or she may complain that there is no choice but to go to that school. Nevertheless, actually it is a gap between reality and his or her expectation that prevents him or her finding another choice. (我觉得这不是gap的问题吧？这只是说了学生不努力所以没有把握住机会，而不是你所分析的因为这个机会放弃了另一个机会，入学考试只有一次机会吧？而不是很多次吧？)If he or she does the utmost to try and find, more choices will rise on the surface. （我觉得你可以从学生设立了目标，然后没有好好努力，没有为机会做好准备，所以当机会来临的时候没有能力去把握，也是就考试的时候没有考好。然后借用“机会总是光顾有准备的头脑”做一个自己的分析做为总结）
Moreover, people can have more choice （choices） than before because of the technology and science. For example, last century ago, living in the earth is the absolute unique choice for mankind because of the restriction of the nature laws. Nowadays, people can escape the gravity of earth after the discovery of gravity law by Newton and the technology of spacecraft. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe that mankind in the future will have more choices, such as living in the moon, eating space food and travel to other planets, and so on, all of which is unimagined 100 years ago. And from these changes, we can safely draw a conclusion that the range of choosing will enlarge with the development of science and technology.(这段的结构你分析过吗？论点+例证（6行）+论点重申，看出来了吗？分析太少了，而且，如果例子比较经典也就算了，感觉这个例子不是很典型，而且可以更精简一点。还有飞机火车汽车让人们选择出游工具，人们不用再用唱机听音乐了，什么WALKMAN，DISCMAN，MD，MP3之类的，多得很呐，语句概况一点，例子多举两个，就会有说服力了)
In sum, the absence of choice is very, very rare. Sometimes what we should do is to try to find alternatives when we in the circumstance of lack of choice. And technology is an available way to enhance the chances of more choice to us.
Choice是可数名词吧？
呵呵，根据自己的意见帮你改了一些，你看一下吧，限时后写的水平的确会下降一点，但是你不要着急，找出原因，下次避免就可以了
加油！！！ to syd
谢谢你的修改
我也是3.30考,一起努力吧
你的水平比我好很多,羡慕啊
to 莫名N
好象明白点了,看来结构什么的,都得下工夫,谢谢 吃得好欢啊。呵呵！
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