好久没写了求狠批！！issue-82
本帖来自"14年秋季GRE提纲+全文互改小组"，欢迎关注！你还可以查看更多小组、创建小组82) Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
Form my own perspective as a student, I certainly agree with the statement that require the students to study abroad. Because it can broaden the students' horizon, let them have a deep understand of the world, etc. However, standing at the point of a government officer or a university president, that statement should be considered thoroughly, as the short comings of this policy are serious.
It is obviously that studying abroad will enlarge the students' horizon. Foreign countries are always ample of different tradition, different living CULTURE environment and different thinking living pattern. In United Kingdom, students will know how to behave like a English gentleman and lady; in China， students will learn the steps to cook a Chinese dish; and in Australia, students can know how to enjoy a countryside life with the kangaroos. From their experiences, they will know that the people in other country can live completely differently, which will form a open mind to them and they may tend to love this world more because its variety.
However, study abroad also have a lot of drawbacks.
One of the drawbacks is that the students may fail to accustom to the new environment. To study and living in a foreign country, the students need to blend in a different society and get used to the different teaching pattern. Just get used to the daily food in a foreign country may be difficult for most of the student, not to mention the complex culture and teaching pattern. If the students cannot blend in well, the discomfit will influence the study of the students. So, judging in this way, study abroad may let the students behave badly in their study and bring them pain rather than pleasure.
Another drawback is that some student may not have the affluent financial condition to fund the trip. Because the price of the goods in a foreign country maybe a lot expensive than their own country and the students and their family cannot afford that. Thus, the requirement of the school would be unfeasible. And if the school forces the students to study abroad, it will make pressure to the students’ financial condition, which is a very bad influence to the student.
In conclusion, to study abroad has some positive outcomes, however the drawbacks are more serious than the advantages. I suggest the school to encourage students that have the financial ability as well as the living ability to study abroad. In that condition, the student studying abroad can get a lot of benefits and the students study at their own school can get the best teaching environment for them too. 楼主试着自己检查一下语法错误吧
study abroad also have a lot of drawbacks
To study and living in a foreign country
感觉楼主的英语基础还不错 有分不同的角度讨论 先清掉语法问题 我再帮你看看内容 本帖最后由 憤怒的意粉 于 2015-1-21 13:52 编辑
我的五毛錢 希望能幫助到LZ
文章的第二段很好的作出了讓步, 四五段為自己的立場展開, 整體上感覺很好
以下是一些我認為可以改善的
However, study abroad also have a lot of drawbacks. 一句的段落感覺有些怪 我認為 GRE作文有時候不用解釋太多 我覺得可以假設所有改卷者都擁有GRE的閱讀邏輯 所以建議直接刪掉
一些小语法错误:
It is obviously(obvious) that studying abroad will enlarge the students' horizon.
In United Kingdom, students will know how to behave like a English gentleman and lady; in China， students will learn the steps to cook a Chinese dish; and in Australia, students can know how to enjoy a countryside life with the kangaroos.
semi-colon後不能跟and 可以改comma. 另外不能連用兩個semi-colon.
Another drawback is that some student may not have the(a) affluent financial condition to fund the trip.(,) Because the price of the goods in a foreign country maybe a lot expensive than their own country (,) and the students and their family cannot (may not) afford that
ETS的改卷機器著重repetition of words, 盡量想出另一個同義字來換著用.
像 Drawbacks, Disadvantages , downside, limitation.
或 price of the goods, price level, living cost,
can know 可以改成realize, learn, find out
希望對LZ有幫助 另外這是我的作文
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1798602-1-1.html tesolchina 发表于 2015-1-21 12:14 static/image/common/back.gif
楼主试着自己检查一下语法错误吧
study abroad also have a lot of drawbacks
To study and living in a ...
谢谢老师！一个月没写了手有点生语错很多，下次注意 憤怒的意粉 发表于 2015-1-21 13:47 static/image/common/back.gif
我的五毛錢 希望能幫助到LZ
文章的第二段很好的作出了讓步, 四五段為自己的立場展開, 整體上感覺很好
非常非常感谢如此细致的点评！！马上去看看你的~~
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