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标题: 钢炮的作文本 [打印本页]

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-6-26 20:52:13 标题: 钢炮的作文本

本帖最后由 lxg198607 于 2010-6-27 09:09 编辑

It is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals.

From my point of view, considering the serious situation of some endangered animals, their needs should be put ahead of those of human beings.Experiencing many species leaving us for ever, we can not afford to lose any specie of them, which have existed in this world for millions of years.Making best use of extra land is one of the most effective measures people could take to give those animals in danger a warm home. Therefore, endangered animals' needs for land are more urgent than our human beings'.

To begin with,according to a recent report, everyday more than ten species are extinct on the earth, which means we can not see them any more.So it is a warning for human beings that we ought not to ignore the cruel fact again by taking concrete actions for those endangered animals.And leaving some land for them is just a good way to relieve the tension.As is well known,during that period of crazily exploiting the value of the land, human beings have destroyed countless habitats of animals to grab more resources ,making lots of animals homeless.Even worse, some people shot and killed endangered animals for their fur and bones, and this period has been a really tough time for those species.

Fortunately,a few wise governments have been aware of the seriousness of this situation,a lot of measures have been carried out to protect endangered animals.The typical example is that Chinese government has set up several wild reserve for its "national treasure''- giant panda, which used to be in danger of extinction.The most famous one is "wolong" wild reserve, which keeps many pandas from hunting and provides them a harbor to live and breed.Due to the local administration’s great effort,every year,a large number of tourists from more than one hundred countries all over the world have the honor of seeing these adorable animals. So the Chinese government set an good example for many other countries on how to reserve land for animals in the best way. Also we could know the importance of reserving land for animals.If nothing has been done, we could have no chance of face to face with them.

Moreover,reserving land for human beings is not critical as before, since the land of the earth is basically able to meet human beings' needs. Especially in the industrial society,the majority of people in the world no longer depends on the land, for example some farming work,to survive like they always did in ancient times. So people's attentions should be transferred to improve their living conditions, from thinking of more land to develop. Admittedly, there are some truths we should not forget that many people are still suffering from hunger, illness, and poverty, as well some land are still necessary for human beings.
Hence,having ensured that human beings' basic needs are satisfied.the arrangement for land should incline to endangered animals.

In a word, the resource is limited on the earth,so we should preserve more land for those endangered species,which are in badly need of them.In this case, human beings' needs,to some extent, could be laid aside for a while.To prevent it that some day we will be the only specie on this blue planet,and allow those animals to share the accomplishments of human beings, some sacrifices are quite necessary by allotting more land for endangered animals.

作者: canoe03 时间: 2010-6-27 17:22:30

请见附件

[attach]146819[/attach]

作者: canoe03 时间: 2010-6-27 17:27:30

我想我们在审题这里出现了分歧：我的意思是，为人类还是为濒危动物保护土地资源？楼主的意思和我不一样哦。
我的作文有一处： there is no gainsaying 意思是和 there is no denying的意思一样，作文中格式好像有点问题，很多词都粘在一起了，给楼主造成误解，不好意思。多谢楼主的指教！

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-6-28 08:57:35

哦。原来如此，多谢指教啦。。。:)

作者: 麦托 时间: 2010-7-1 23:33:16

It is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals.  `# E* R) j- a5 I2 j2 x, z' e. u

From my point of view, considering the serious situation of some endangered animals, their needs should be put ahead of those of human beings. Experiencing many species leaving us forever, (不懂什么意思啊，如果是我，我会改成some endangered animals is likely to leave forever, ) we can not afford to lose any specie of them, which have existed in this world for millions of years. Making best use of extra land is one of the most effective measures people could take to give those animals in danger a warm home. Therefore, endangered animals' needs for land are more urgent than our human beings'.
" C' C, a7 Q: ?$ T! w7 J  r

To begin with, according to a recent report, everyday more than ten species are extinct on the earth, which means we can not see them any more. So it is a warning for human beings that we ought be aware about the cruel fact and take specific actions for those endangered animals(这两句的关系应该是并列吧). And leaving some land for them is just a good way to relieve the tension. As is well known, during that period of exploiting land to excess, human beings have destroyed countless habitats of animals to grab more resources, making lots of animals homeless. Even worse, some people shot and killed endangered animals for getting their fur and bones, and this period has been a really tough time for those species.  I6 M2 z1 B* \. s

Fortunately,a few wise governments have been aware of the seriousness of this situation, a lot of measures have been carried out to protect endangered animals. The typical example is that Chinese government has set up several wild reserve for its "national treasure''- giant panda, which used to be in danger of extinction. The most famous one is "wolong" wild reserve, which keeps many pandas from hunting and provides them a harbor to live and breed. Due to the local administration’s great effort, every year, a large number of tourists from more than one hundred countries all over the world have the honor of seeing these adorable animals. So the Chinese government set a good example for many other countries on how to reserve land for animals in the best way. Also we could know the importance of reserving land for animals. If nothing has been done, they would have no chance to company us on earth. (face to face 主要指交流的方式)
1 q2 L$ l5 `. ?+ J) i9 f# o
Moreover, reserving land for human beings is not critical as before, since the land of the earth is basically able to meet human beings' needs. Especially in the industrial society, the majority of people in the world don’t depends on the land so much as before. For example, unlike in the ancient time, now a lot of farmers with a small farmland make a living by improving their productivity and efficiency. Admittedly, there are many people are still suffering from hunger, illness, and poverty, as well some land are still necessary for human beings. (简洁的句子能说明白的，就不用加上很多从主句结构了吧)
Hence, (hence 是therefore 的意思，这里应该用because吧)having ensured that human beings' basic needs are satisfied. the arrangement for land should incline to endangered animals. （这句也很明显的中式英语咯，需要改下）

In a word, the resource is limited on the earth, so we should preserve more land for those endangered species, which are in badly need of them. In this case, human beings' needs, to some extent, could be laid aside for a while. To prevent it that some day we will be the only specie on this blue planet, and allow those animals to share the accomplishments of human beings, some sacrifices are quite necessary by allotting more land for endangered animals

每一段的理由不够明确哈，还有第三段跟reserving land for animals or human beings 好像没太大的关系啊。

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-3 21:02:50

本帖最后由 lxg198607 于 2010-7-3 21:11 编辑

From my point of view, the more people know about the past, the more effectively they work out the present problem or future problem. Because people are always able to learn something from the past, which not just allows them to avoids repeating the mistake,  but help them with the problems of the present or future. And more details are to be stated in two aspects.

On a personal level, as is well known,  human beings may be the only creature in the world who keep learning.  And they are willing to spend most of their time researching the past, as it is quite beneficial to their present problems.  So if anyone wishes to crack everyday's problems,  the best way is probably to look back to see if anything could help him or her.  I want to take my personal experience for example, if there is anything i am proud of, that must be my capability of mathematical problems.  The reason, on the one hand,  is that every time when some new or complicated problems come to me,  i choose to check out the problems i have solved before, hoping to find a rule inside related with some of them.  As most problems have their inside rules, once i grasp them, the similar problems could be done with no effort.  On the other hand,  regularly taking a look at the problems to which i once gave wrong answers,  i could learn a lesson, which ensure me not to make the same mistake again.  In a word, that is one of many benefits I get from the past, and I am very enjoying learning from the past.

On a social level, it is always that case when the governments or groups want to dissolve some problems.  Since there are a lot of things of the past deserving people's attentions on their references to the present problems.  The typical example is that nothing is more important than a good strategy for any company. The present, "the art of war", written by a Chinese strategist two thousand years ago, is very popular among many top 500 corporations all over the world.  Many people perhaps wonder why a book regarding all kinds of strategies in the battle is capable of being applied to the business world.  It is not difficult to answer, given that they have much in common.  As an old saying goes, the business world is just like the battle field.  When the company is in trouble, some strategies in the book may help it out. Besides, some other strategies may help the leader come up with good ideas, making the company more competitive than other ones. It was said that one of the world's biggest corporation, Micro software, asked its each employee to read this book, in the hope of making everyone more adaptable to the fierce competition.

Admittedly, it is no good to doing anything too far, which means if people reply the past too much, It might produce the opposite the result what people would suppose.  After all,  there are no two things that are exactly the same, when people want to solve the problem,  lots of factors should be taken into consideration.  The people, the place, as well the background may be different from the past.  Some successful cases might be not working with the today.  So totally copying the past would not make it work.

To sum up, i see much need to understand the past, in order to resolve the problems. The past is a large pool of resource, some of which people can make best use of; the past is a mirror, which reflect people's weakness and mistakes.  But overemphasis on the past is also not wise,  people are suppose to learn from the past but copy the success in the past.
R# L  _

作者: mitchelllc 时间: 2010-7-4 11:04:26

6# lxg198607
From my point of view, the more people know about the past, the more effectively they work out the present problem or future problem. Because people are always able to learn something from the past, which not just allows them to avoids(avoids应该没有s吧？) repeating the mistake,  but help(helps吧？) them with the problems of the present or future. And more details are to be stated in two aspects.

On a personal level, as is well known,  human beings may be the only creature in the world who keep learning.  And they are willing to spend most of their time researching the past, as it is quite beneficial to their present problems.  So if anyone wishes to crack(crack是在口语里有解决的意思，这里不妥) everyday's problems,  the best way is probably to look back to see if anything could help him or her.  I want to take my personal experience for example, if there is anything i am proud of, that must be my capability of mathematical problems.  The reason, on the one hand,  is that every time when some new or complicated problems come to me,  i choose to check out the problems i have solved before, hoping to find a rule inside related with some of them.  As most problems have their inside rules, once i grasp them, the similar problems could be done with no effort.  On the other hand,  regularly taking a look at the problems to which i once gave wrong answers,  i could learn a lesson, which ensure me not to make the same mistake again.  In a word, that is one of many benefits I get from the past, and I am very enjoying learning from the past.

On a social level, it (我觉得这儿直接用it指代有点儿不清楚，主要是和第一段it所指代的中间还差了一段，可以写完整的句子或者是解释一下it)is always that case when the governments or groups want to dissolve some problems.  Since there are a lot of things of the past deserving people's attentions on their references to the present problems.  The typical example is that nothing is more important than a good strategy for any company(这个例子后面是说明了历史的重要，但是这句话中是说策略的重要。。。). The present, "the art of war", written by a Chinese strategist two thousand years ago, is very popular among many top 500 corporations all over the world.  Many people perhaps wonder why a book regarding all kinds of strategies in the battle is capable of being applied to the business world.  It is not difficult to answer, given that they have much in common.  As an old saying goes, the business world is just like the battle field.  When the company is in trouble, some strategies in the book may help it out. Besides, some other strategies may help the leader come up with good ideas, making the company more competitive than other ones. It was said that one of the world's biggest corporation, Micro software, asked its each employee to read this book, in the hope of making everyone more adaptable to the fierce competition.

Admittedly, it is no good to doing anything too far, which means if people reply the past too much, It might produce the opposite the result what people would suppose.  After all,  there are no two things that are exactly the same, when people want to solve the problem,  lots of factors should be taken into consideration.  The people, the place, as well the background may be different from the past.  Some successful cases might be not working with the today.  So totally copying the past would not make it work.

To sum up, i see much need to understand the past, in order to resolve the problems. The past is a large pool of resource, some of which people can make best use of; the past is a mirror, which reflect people's weakness and mistakes.  But overemphasis on the past is also not wise,  people are suppose to learn from the past but copy the success in the past.(最后一句话没看明白。。。)

还有就是好像文章到后面所有的i都小写了，还应该是大写 I 吧

第一次改作文，改的不好的地方还请多包涵啊~~

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-6 17:21:46

本帖最后由 lxg198607 于 2010-7-6 17:23 编辑

From my point of view, considering the serious situation of some endangered animals, their needs should be put ahead of those of human beings.Experiencing many species’ extinction, we can not stand by and watch such bad things occurred to any other specie, which have existed in this world for millions of years.Therefore, endangered animals' needs for land are more urgent than human beings'. Making the best of extra land is one of the most effective measures people could take to give those animals in danger a warm and safe home.

To begin with,according to a recent report, everyday more than ten species are extinct on the earth, which means we can not see them any more.So it is a warning for human beings that they ought not to ignore the cruel fact again, that during the period of crazily exploiting the value of the land, human beings have destroyed countless habitats of animals to grab more resources,making lots of animals homeless.Even worse, some people shot and killed some endangered animals for their fur and bones, and this period has been a really tough time for those poor species.So if nothing has been done, we could have no chance of getting in touch with these cute animals.

Moreover, it is quite clear to some governments dedicated to solve this problem that land reservation for animals, if not eliminates, at least slows down the rate of extinction. And then a lot of measures have been carried out to protect endangered animals.The typical example is that Chinese government has set up several wild reserve for its "national treasure''- giant panda, which used to be in danger of extinction.The most famous one is "wolong" wild reserve, which keeps many pandas from hunting and provides them a harbor to live and breed. Due to the local administration’s great effort,every year, a great number of tourists from more than one hundred countries all over the world have the honor of seeing these adorable animals. So the Chinese government set an good example for many other countries on how to reserve land for animals in the best way. Also this vivid example exactly prove the necessity of reserving land for animals.

Additionally,reserving land for human beings is not as critical as before, since the land of the earth is basically able to meet human beings' needs. Especially in the industrial society,the majority of people in the world no longer depends on the land, for example some farming work,to survive like they always did in the past. So people's attentions should focus on improving their living conditions, instead of thinking of more land to develop. Admittedly, there are some truths we should not forget that many people are still suffering from hunger, illness, and poverty, as wellsome land are still necessary for human beings.Hence,having ensured that human beings' basic needs are satisfied.the arrangement for land should incline to endangered animals.

In a word, the resource is limited on the earth,so we should preserve more land for those endangered species,which are in badly need of them.In this case, human beings' needs,to some extent, could be laid aside for a while.To prevent it that some day we will be the only specie on this blue planet,and allow those animals to share the accomplishments of human beings, some sacrifices are quite necessary by allotting more land for endangered animals.

作者: kaolaliang 时间: 2010-7-7 12:27:25

From my point of view, considering the serious situation of some endangered animals, their needs should be put ahead of those of human beings.Experiencing many species’ extinction, we can not stand by and watch such bad things occurred to any other specie, which have existed in this world for millions of years.Therefore, endangered animals' needs for land are more urgent than human beings'. Making the best of extra land is one of the most effective measures people could take to give those animals in danger a warm and safe home.（观点） c1 ~6 L# v+ v; J

To begin with,according to a recent report, everyday more than ten species are extinct on the earth, which means we can not see them any more.So it is a warning for human beings that they ought not to ignore the cruel fact again, that during the period of crazily exploiting the value of the land, human beings have destroyed countless habitats of animals to grab more resources,making lots of animals homeless.Even worse, some people shot and killed some endangered animals for their fur and bones, and this period has been a really tough time for those poor species.So if nothing has been done（? 有点绕，要是有事可做就不管濒危动物了? 个人理解~）, we could have no chance of getting in touch with these cute（个人感觉这个词不妥） animals.
B# F# z3 B ]
Moreover, it is quite clear to some governments dedicated to solve this problem that land reservation for animals, if not eliminates, at least slows down the rate of extinction. And then a lot of measures have been carried out to protect endangered animals.The typical example is that Chinese government has set up several wild reserve(s) for its "national treasure''- giant panda, which used to be in danger of extinction.The most famous one is "wolong" wild reserve, which keeps many pandas from hunting and provides them a harbor to live and breed. Due to the local administration’s great effort,every year, a great number of tourists from more than one hundred countries all over the world have the honor of seeing these adorable animals. So the Chinese government set an good example for many other countries on how to reserve land for animals in the best way. Also this vivid example exactly prove the necessity of reserving land for animals.

Additionally,reserving land for human beings is not as critical as before, since the land of the earth is basically able to meet human beings' needs. Especially in the industrial society,the majority of people in the world no longer depends on the land, for example some farming work,to survive like they always did in the past. So people's attentions should focus on improving their living conditions, instead of thinking of more land to develop. Admittedly, there are some truths we should not forget that many people are still suffering from hunger, illness, and poverty, as wellsome land are still necessary for human beings.Hence,having ensured that human beings' basic needs are satisfied.the arrangement for land should incline to endangered animals. - |% c8 W7 p% Q& C3 a
; L$ ^2 d6 S9 ?1 {, v
In a word, the resource is limited on the earth,so we should preserve more land for those endangered species,which are in badly need of them.In this case, human beings' needs,to some extent, could be laid aside for a while.To prevent it that some day we will be the only specie on this blue planet,and allow those animals to share the accomplishments of human beings, some sacrifices are quite necessary by allotting more land for endangered animals.

我是反面来说这个题目。和楼主正好相反，想写写disagree的情况。

作者: WINNIE678 时间: 2010-7-8 11:29:40

From my point of view, considering the serious situation of some endangered animals, their needs should be put ahead of those of human beings.Experiencing many species’ extinction, we can not stand by and watch such bad things occurred to any other species, which have existed in this world for millions of years.Therefore, endangered animals' needs for land are more urgent than human beings'. Making the best of extra land is one of the most effective measures people could take to give those animals in danger a warm and safe home.7 m+ ~8
To begin with,according to a recent report, everyday more than ten species are extinct on the earth, which means we can not see them any more.So it is a warning for human beings that they ought not to ignore the cruel fact again, that during the period of crazily exploiting the value of the land, human beings have destroyed countless habitats of animals 我认为for grabbing更好 to grab more resources,making lots of animals homeless.Even worse, some people shot and killed some endangered animals for their fur and bones, and this period has been a really tough time for those poor species.有些多余So if nothing would be done has been done, we could have no chance to of getting in touch with these cute animals.

Moreover, it is quite clear to some governments dedicated to solve this problem that land reservation for animals, if not eliminates, at least slows down the rate of extinction. And then a lot of measures have been carried out to protect endangered animals.The typical example is that Chinese government has set up several wild reserve for its "national treasure''- giant panda, which used to be in danger of extinction.The most famous one is "wolong" wild reserve, which keeps many pandas from hunting and provides them a harbor to live and breed. Due to the local administration’s great effort,every year, a great number of tourists from more than one hundred countries all over the world have the honor of seeing these adorable animals. So the Chinese government set an good example for many other countries on how to reserve land for animals in the best way. Also this vivid example exactly prove the necessity of reserving land for animals.

Additionally,reserving land for human beings is not as critical as before, since the land of the earth is basically able to meet human beings' needs. Especially in the industrial society,the majority of people in the world no longer depends on the land, for example some farming work,to survive like they always did in the past. So people's attentions should focus on improving their living conditions, instead of thinking of more land to develop. Admittedly, there are some truths we should not forget that many people are still suffering from hunger, illness, and poverty, as well some land are still necessary for human beings.Hence,having ensured that human beings' basic needs are satisfied.the arrangement for land should incline to endangered animals.

In a word, the resource is limited on the earth,so we should preserve more land for those endangered species,which are in badly need of them.In this case, human beings' needs,to some extent, could be laid aside for a while.To prevent it that some day we will be the only specie on this blue planet,and allow those animals to share the accomplishments of human beings, some sacrifices are quite necessary by allotting more land for endangered animals.

楼主是半小时内写完的吗？很厉害哟~~~
想向你讨经验~

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-8 13:18:43

哈哈，一个小时写完的，半小时我目前还搞不定撒。。

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-8 18:37:22

From my point of view, students ought to be required to attend class for most of their time. But spending 11 months on class every year is rather exhausting for students,  not to mention many of them may not have some time to understand the lessons with a little break.  Thus,  11 months is probably too long,  and to improve the education,  the school can make it 6 months or 7 ,  which are more suitable for students.

Admittedly, an intensive study is good for most students,  as they can obtain a great deal of knowledge with a continuous study. Besides,  during this long period of study, students are able to discuss problems with their classmates,  exchang ideas and share experience. Discussion benefits them,  as well help them become cooperative.  So all these are what intensive study can bring to students, which i can not deny.

Nevertheless, Things would not go well, if too much time is spent attending class.  The first reason is students are not robots, but human beings,  whose have energy limits.  11 months' study must make many students very tiring,  even drive them crazy and cause unwillingness to study.  It is quite understandable that no one hopes all his or her life is occupied by one thing,  which even if has much fun.  What if they could have half an year to rest?  It is getting much better.  Several months' break  allows students to do some relaxations they are fond of,  which are quite refreshing.  After the break, they are energtical again and ready to confront the challenging study.  For example,  every time i am puzzled by some tough mathmatical problems, and become frustrated, i would like to listen to music,  since they are able to relax me and bring me into a good mood to continue the difficult problems,  which seems to be easier than they were.  Therefore,  some rest are necessary for students,  helping them study easily and effectively.

Moreover,  Students need some time to understand those knowledge they learn in class.  It often happens that students complain about teachers in class, who teach so fast so much that they can hardly get them all.  In this case, one month of a year is too short for students trying to understand the lesson. By constrast,  with a long break, they have more than enought time to digest these knowledge,  which they might be able to use in future career.  As long as students really understand the knowledge and are capable of using it,  the goal of making a better, effective education  could be achieved.

To sum up,  i do not object to a continuous study,  but one month's break  is not good for students.  Students require more time to take a good rest from intensive study, as well understand the knowledge.

作者: leiqin1521 时间: 2010-7-9 12:18:40

From my point of view, students ought to be required to attend class for most of their time. But spending 11 months on class every year is rather exhausting for students,  not to mention many of them may not have some（enough，觉得这样好似顺口点） time to understand the lessons with a little break.  Thus,  11 months is probably too long,  and to improve the education,  the school can make it 6 months or 7 ,  which are more suitable for students.
Good，给出观点和理由。要是说一年只上6-7个月的课，是不是太短了？个人觉得。
Admittedly, an intensive study is good for most students,  as they can obtain a great deal of knowledge with a continuous study. Besides,  during this long period of study, students are able to discuss problems with their classmates,  exchang ideas and share experience. Discussion benefits them,  as well help them become cooperative.  So all these are what intensive study can bring to students, which i can not deny.
写的很好，要是这段让步段可以写在最后一段对更好，这样文章更加紧凑
Nevertheless, Things would not go well, if too much time is spent attending class.  The first reason is students are not robots, but human beings,  whose（who） have energy limits.  11 months' study must make many students very tiring（tired）,  even drive them crazy and cause unwillingness to study.  It is quite understandable that no one hopes all his or her life is occupied by one thing,  which even if has much fun.  What if they could have half an year to rest?  It is getting much better.  Several months' break  allows students to do some relaxations they are fond of,  which are quite refreshing.  After the break, they are energtical again and ready to confront the challenging study.  For example,  every time i am puzzled by some tough mathmatical problems, and become frustrated, i would like to listen to music,  since they are able to relax me and bring me into a good mood to continue the difficult problems,  which seems to be easier than they were.  Therefore,  some rest are necessary for students,  helping them study easily and effectively.
还好，就是这个例子举得和文章的中心——学生需要长假不十分贴。Moreover,  Students need some time to understand those knowledge they learn in class.  It often happens that students complain about teachers in class, who teach so fast so much that they can hardly get them all.  In this case, one month of a year is too short for students trying to understand the lesson. By constrast,  with a long break, they have more than enough time to digest these knowledge,  which they might be able to use in future career（which这句可以再展开下，不然有点突然）.  As long as students really understand the knowledge and are capable of using it,  the goal of making a better, effective education  could be achieved.

To sum up,  i do not object to a continuous study, （把not去掉应该更好） but one month's break  is not good for students.  Students require more time to take a good rest from intensive study, as well understand the knowledge.

总体来说还不错，字数足够！结构ok
第一次改，有不当之处见谅。

作者: 101rose 时间: 2010-7-9 14:36:02

From my point of view, students ought to be required to attend class for most of their time. But spending 11 months on class every year is rather exhausting for students,  not to mention many of them may not have some enough time to understand the lessons with a little break.  Thus,  11 months is probably too long,  and to improve the education,  the school can make it 6 months or 7 ,  which are more suitable for students.

Admittedly, an intensive study is good for most students,  as they can obtain a great deal of knowledge with a continuous study. Besides,  during this long period of study, students are able to discuss problems with their classmates,  exchang ideas and share experience. 这里加个连接词会不会更连贯些？  Discussion benefits them,  as well help them become cooperative.  So all these are what intensive study can bring to students, which i can not deny.

Nevertheless, Things would not go well, if too much time is spent attending class.  The first reason is students are not robots, but human beings,  whose have energy limits.  11 months' study must make many students very tiring,  even drive them crazy and cause unwillingness to study.  It is quite understandable that no one hopes all his or her life is occupied by one thing,  which even if has much fun看上去不大通顺，同位语从句会不会更好些？.  What if they could have half an year to rest?  It is getting much better.  Several months' break  allows students to do some relaxations they are fond of,  which are quite refreshing.  After the break, they are energtical again and ready to confront the 删challenging study.  For example,  every time i am puzzled by some tough mathmatical problems, and become frustrated, i would like to listen to music,  since they are able to it can relax me and bring me into a good mood to continue the difficult problems,  which seems to be easier than they were.  Therefore,  some rest are necessary for students,  helping them study easily and effectively.

Moreover,  Students need some time to understand those knowledge they learn in class.  It often happens that students complain about teachers in class, who teach so fast so much that they can hardly get them all.  In this case, one month of a year is too short for students trying to understand the lesson. By constrast,  with a long break, they have more than enought time more than？ to digest these knowledge,  which they might be able to use in future career.  As long as students really understand the knowledge and are capable of using it,  the goal of making a better, effective education  could be achieved. 换成Only if的句型会不会更好些

To sum up,  i do not object to a continuous study,  but one month's break  is not good for students.  Students require more time to take a good rest from intensive study, as well understand the knowledge.

总体还不错~发现你很喜欢用which从句，有时可以换成同位语从句之类的，多多变化些可能ETS更喜欢吧~

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-9 21:15:25

本帖最后由 lxg198607 于 2010-7-9 21:58 编辑

7.10

From my point of view,given that daily homework is an indispensable part of school education, It is basically beneficial for students to do homework everyday,despite the fact that there are some genius children, who are hardly in need of assignment to help with their study.Because, for most full-time students,daily homework, an effective measure, not just makes them to review after school, but assists them to understand the lesson.

Admittedly,some geniuses are so clever that they can remember almost everything that teachers speak in class, and are capable of quickly respond to any thorny question.So It appears they do not require homework at all.

However,that is not true when it comes to most children. after all,geniuses only stand for a small percentage of all children,and the majority of children have to review through homework assigned by teachers.For example, it always happen to me that i can not understand the knowledge very well in class, especially those abstract ones,puzzling me a lot.But when i am home,i could gradually grab every point with the assignment, helping me in a way of changing abstract knowledge into practical problems, which is more easily absorbed. From the teacher' side, it is their duties to let students know what they should know, and homework is just one of effective ways they employ to help children understand and memorize the knowledge. Thus homework really helps children understand the lesson, and make it quite necessary.

What is more,many children are lack of self-control.if teachers do not assign homework,perhaps children play with their children or watch TV instead.In this case,the lesson has no effect on them. From what I can see,assignment is more like a routine than a burden on children, helping children form the habit of going over the knowledge after class.And such a habit is very important to their future careers. According to a recent report,many successful businessman like to reflect when they are off work. Daily reflection and review are the same inherently, both in order to rethink of what they do in the daytime, and then expect to learn a lesson or obtain some experience.Therefore, As long as students do homework every day,they could learn more than they get from games or TV programs.

To sum up, it is doubtless that most children are very ordinary,and many children might be not aware of the importance of homework, so teachers should give homework to students to help them digest the knowledge

作者: peggy890 时间: 2010-7-11 15:08:12

7.10& g6

From my point of view,given that daily homework is an indispensable part of school education, It is basically beneficial for students to do homework everyday,despite the fact that there are some genius children, who are hardly in need of assignment to help with their study.Because, for most full-time students,daily homework, an effective measure,does（句子太长把助动词丢了） not just makes them to review after school, but assists them to understand the lesson.
Admittedly,some geniuses are so clever that they can remember almost everything that teachers speak in class, and are capable of quickly respond to any thorny question.So It appears that (这个That不能省略)they do not require homework at all.
However,that is not true when it comes to most children（改成ordinary，与genius的对比更明显）. after all,geniuses only stand for a small percentage of all children,and the majority of children have to review through homework assigned by teachers.For example, it always happen to me that I can not understand the knowledge very well in class, especially those abstract ones,puzzling me a lot.But when i am home,i could gradually grab every points with the assignment, helping me in a way of changing abstract knowledge into practical problems, which is more easily absorbed. From the teacher' side, it is their duties to let students know what they should know, and homework is just one of effective ways they employ to help children understand and memorize the knowledge. Thus homework really helps children understand the lesson, and make it quite necessary(建议把老师和自己的两个方面分开说，逻辑关系更清楚)

What is more,many children are lack of self-control.if teachers do not assign homework,perhaps children play with their children or watch TV instead.In this case,the lesson has no effect on them. From what I can see,assignment is more like a helpful routine than a burden on children, helping children form the habit of going over the knowledge after class.And such a habit is very important to their future careers. According to a recent report,many successful businessman like to reflect when they are off work. Daily reflection and review are the same inherently, both in order to rethink of what they do in the daytime, and then expect to learn a lesson or obtain some experience.Therefore, As long as students do homework every day,they could learn more than they get from games or TV programs.
（结尾另起一段）To sum up, it is doubtless that most children are very ordinary,and many children might be not aware of the importance of homework, so teachers should give homework to students to help them digest the knowledge
文章从普通学生和神童的对比中开篇，论理展开比较好，如果能够更加SPECIFIC就更加好了~~
句式、词汇都很不错，学习了~

作者: 694055322 时间: 2010-7-12 08:11:04

7.10

From my point of view, given that daily homework is an indispensiable part of school education, It is basically beneficial for students to do homework everyday,despite the fact that there are some genius children, who are hardly in need of assignment to help with their study.Because, for most full-time students,daily homework, an effective measure, not just makes them to review after school, but assists them to understand the lesson.
( N: b" v. W- }" M9 ?
Admittedly,some geniuses are so clever that they can remember almost everything that teachers speak in class, and are capable of quickly responding to any thorny question.So It appears they do not require homework at all.
; j" z" M9 \. m0 m x
However,that is not true when it comes to most/common children. after all,geniuses only stand for a small percentage of all children,and the majority of children have to review through homework assigned by teachers.For example, it always happen to me that i can not understand the knowledge very well in class, especially the abstract(knowledge是不可数名词)those abstract ones,puzzling me a lot.But when i am home,i could gradually grab every point with the assignment, helping me in a way of changing abstract knowledge into something practical problems, which is more easily absorbed. From the teachers' side,（我不知道有没有这个用法） it is their duties to let students know what they should know, and homework is just one of effective ways they employ to help children understand and memorize the knowledge. Thus homework really helps children understand the lesson, and make it quite necessary.

What is more,many children are lack of self-control.if teachers do not assign homework,perhaps children play with their children or watch TV instead.In this case,the lesson has no effect on them. From what I can see,assignment is more like a routine than a burden on children, helping children form the habit of going over the knowledge after class.And such a habit is very important to their future careers. According to a recent report,many successful businessmean like to reflect when they are off work. Daily reflection and review are the same inherently, both in order to rethink of what they do in the daytime, and then expect to learn a lesson or obtain some experience.Therefore, As long as students do homework every day,they could learn more than they get from games or TV programs.9 N) m, \' `6 M' ]! v; n5 s
% K# m9 N1 Z4 u5 N) T
To sum up, it is doubtless that most children are very ordinary,and many children might be not aware of the importance of homework, so teachers should give homework to students to help them digest the knowledge
总体没有什么问题，但是感觉内容有些空洞，可能是缺乏具体的例子吧。。。。

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-13 20:14:12

本帖最后由 lxg198607 于 2010-7-13 20:16 编辑

Nowadays movies have become a part of people's lives and influenced them in a good way, by bringing about a lot of entertainment in their spare time, and by telling people many things they know a little about.From my point of view,some movies that could make people happy are prior to some others that intend to educate people.

Admittedly, some serious movies are very meaningful, hoping to help people think. For example, a recent popular movie" The cove" attempted to tell the audience what dolphins are suffering,and appealed to capable people to help these sea animals. But any movie like this might be not the first choice of most people, for the reason of less interesting story and demanding requirement for audience’s ability to appreciate art movie.And people have to think a lot before they can get the idea of the movie, so this may be a torture to people who just treat movies as a recreation. All they need is not education but some fun from movies

In addition,in modern society,many people are under much pressure along with a fierce competition, and eager to find some ways to relieve pressure.Movies might be the best choice. Especially comedies are able to make people laugh a lot.I want to take my experience for example,Every time i am back from work with a tiring body,i prefer to watch comedy. Because the story is interesting, for example, the main characters always get themselves in trouble, and make thing worse than it was. So when the movie comes to an end,i feel much better, with all my fatigue and troubles immediately forgotten, being in a good mood to confront the challenging work of next day. Thus movies really help people in relaxation.

What is more, no one would like to deny a movie that has much fun. So this type of film would tempt the whole family to sit together to enjoy the time with each other.Nothing could be happier than staying with the family.As we all know many parents are very busy with their work,in order to provide their children good lives. So there is a chance that with little time of communication,the whole family has a weak family bond.While an interesting movie may be able to help them strengthen the bond. Because parents could have some time with their children to watch the movie and talk about the movie, with laughers and joy flowing the whole family.What else could be better? Therefore, a movie filled with amusement could help people find a common thread to enjoy their family life.

To sum up,i prefer interesting movies to serious movies, since people who are stressed out can benefit, and the family who is in need of family bond can benefit.

作者: NO.xiaoyuyu 时间: 2010-7-13 21:27:38

Nowadays movies have become a part of people's lives and influenced them in a good way, by bringing about a lot of entertainment in their spare time, and by telling people many things they know a little about.From my point of view,some movies that could make people happy are prior to some others that intend to educate people.' H& K* T% z, I& \& ^7 m& f
9 {& D4 k4 o/ p5 j7 b6 T

Admittedly, some serious movies are very meaningful, hoping to help people think. For example, a recent popular movie" The cove" attempted to tell the audience what dolphins are suffering,and appealed to capable people to help these sea animals. But any movie like this might be not the first choice of most people, for the reason of less interesting story and demanding requirement for audience’s ability to appreciate art movie(s).And people have to think a lot before they can get the idea of the movie, so this may be a torture to people who just treat movies as a recreation. All they need is not education but some fun from movies
7 K6 k% r+ \0 C: x; f
In addition,in modern society,many people are under much pressure along with a fierce competition, and eager to find some ways to relieve pressure.Movies might be the best choice. Especially comedies are able to make people laugh a lot.I want to take my experience for example,Every time i am back from work with a tiring body,i prefer to watch comedies (comedy). Because the story is interesting, for example, the main characters always get themselves in trouble, and make (a) thing worse than it was. So when the movie comes to an end,i feel much better, with all my fatigue and troubles immediately forgotten, being in a good mood to confront the challenging work in(of) next day. Thus movies really help people in relaxation.

What is more, no one would like to deny that a movie (that) has much fun. So this type of film would tempt the whole family to sit together to enjoy the time with each other.Nothing could be more happier than staying with the family members. As we all know many parents are very busy with their work,in order to provide their children for good lives. So there is a chance that with little time of communication the whole family has a weak family bond.(While an interesting movie may be able to help them strengthen the bond. Because parents could have some time with their children to watch the movie and talk about the movie, with laughers and joy flowing the whole family.What else could be better? 有点重复)Therefore, a movie filled with amusement could help people find a common thread to enjoy their family lives（ life）. : x+ J5 M( R M8 e

To sum up,i prefer interesting movies to serious movies, since people who are stressed out can benefit, and the family who is in need of family bond can benefit.
楼主太能写了，这么多字！
但是我认为这篇的题目是关于是否 can help think的主题；另外我认为前两个观点有点重复！（只是我的意见，别着急上火啊！）
（这篇我也很崩溃，感觉找不到点。）

作者: peggy890 时间: 2010-7-14 21:02:03

Nowadays movies have become a part（前几天学到的integral segment感觉替换一下好些） of people's lives and influenced them in a good way, by bringing about a lot of entertainment in their spare time, and by telling people many things they know a little about.From my point of view,some movies that could make people happy are prior to some others that intend to educate people.
`
Admittedly, some serious movies are very meaningful, hoping to help people think. For example, a recent popular movie" The cove" attempted to tell the audience what dolphins are suffering,and appealed to capable people to help these sea animals. But any movie like this might be not the first choice of most people, for the reason of less interesting story and demanding requirement for audience’s ability to appreciate art movie.And people have to think a lot before they can get the idea of the movie, so this may be a torture to people who just treat movies as a recreation. All they need is not education but some fun from movies （例子和论述很不错，学习学习）

In addition,in modern society,many people are under much pressure along with a fierce competition, and eager to find some ways to relieve pressure（换个词，relieve them from the depression）.Movies might be the best(prior) choice. Especially comedies are able to make people laugh a lot.I want to take my experience for example,Every time i am back from work with a tiring （exhausted）body,i prefer to watch comedy加上和serious movie的对比更好. Because the story is interesting, for example, the main characters always get themselves in trouble, and make thing worse than it was. So when the movie comes to an end,i feel much better, with all my fatigue and troubles immediately forgotten, being in a good mood to confront the challenging work of next day. Thus movies really help people in relaxation.

What is more, no one would like to deny（refuse） a movie that has much fun. So this type of film would tempt the whole family to sit together to enjoy the time with each other.Nothing could be happier than staying with the family.As we all know many parents are very busy with their work,in order to provide their children good lives. So there is a chance that with little time of communication,the whole family has a weak family bond.While an interesting movie may be able to help them strengthen the bond. Because parents could have some time with their children to watch the movie and talk about the movie, with laughers and joy flowing the whole family.What else could be better? Therefore, a movie filled with amusement could help people find a common thread to enjoy their family life.

:To sum up,i prefer interesting movies to serious movies, since people who are stressed out can benefit, and the family who is in need of family bond can benefit.
第一个例子很赞~后面的有些词用的略显不足，在一些地方可以更加specific一些
整体逻辑不错，加油加油~

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-15 21:51:19

本帖最后由 lxg198607 于 2010-7-15 21:53 编辑

From my point of view, most people, in their whole lives,should move at least once from the city to country, or from the country to the city, rather than spend their lifetimes staying in the same place,despite that some people might have strong attachments to their old places.

Admittedly, It happens very often that many people are so attached to their present home that they are unwilling to move out. Because they have their own circles with a large group of friends there,and are familiar with surrounding areas.But if they want to move to a new place, many factors should be taken into consideration. They might be wondering whether new neighbors are friendly or not, and whether they can soon adapt to a new environment. So all these possible problems may weaken their desires of moving to another place.

Nevertheless,moving to another place is still worthy,as it offers a good opportunity to experience different lifestyles. Nowadays, many people's lives are mechanical and dull, because of their sticking to their present lifestyles. For example, people living in urban areas, like robots, repeating every day, are stressed out to catch up with fast pace.If they live different lives, i believe they would have some feelings they never felt before, and take different views of their lives. I want to take my personal experience for example, although I am living in urban area, almost every year, my family take summer vacation in nearest village.It feels nice to stay away from the pressure and pollution, not to say being surrounded by nature where there are a lot of plant, flowers and animals to see. Besides, study is never needed here, the only thing i need to do is to water flowers and enjoy fishing.So when it comes to an end, i feel myself in a good state to be ready for the tough study of next semester, as a result of the positive effect of refreshing long stay in countryside.That is what i can get from a different life. So if there is a chance to move out, why not take a try?

Similarly, moving to cities also have an positive impact on country people.Given that infrastructure constructions and public facilities in rural areas are less developed than those in cities, Fast-paced lives still have many upsides. For instance. Free access to internet help people in communicating with friends and work associates instantly. And net-like public transportation makes their going out and travelling quite convenient. What is more, Since urban population density is much higher,they are able to get to know more people in the city than they could in the country, Then hanging out with new friends is likely to add to their enjoyment in lives. Therefore, if they could move to another place, they would benefit from good sides of urban lifestyle, and possess something different in their lives.

To sum up,Staying for a long time in a place make lives less enthusiastic. many people really need a change of air, and it is good for them no matter moving from the city to the country, or from the country to the city. It can help them enjoy lives in another way.

作者: cocojames 时间: 2010-7-16 11:45:10

本帖
From my point of view, most people, in their whole lives,should move at least once from the city to country, or from the country to the city, rather than spend their lifetimes staying in the same place,despite that some people might have strong attachments to their old places.
Admittedly, It happens very often that many people are so attached to their present home that they are unwilling to move out. Because they have their own circles with a large group of friends there,and are familiar with surrounding areas.But if they want to move to a new place, many factors should be taken into consideration. They might be wondering whether new neighbors are friendly or not, and whether they can soon adapt to a new environment. So all these possible problems may weaken their desires of moving to another place. 7 A6 H6 m+ l* x
7 z$ K9 d9 U! C
Nevertheless,moving to another place is still worthy,as it offers a good opportunity to experience different lifestyles. Nowadays, many people's lives are mechanical and dull, because of their sticking to their present lifestyles. For example, people living in urban areas, like robots, repeating every day, are stressed out to catch up with fast pace.If they live different lives, i believe they would have some feelings they never felt before, and take different views of their lives. I want to take my personal experience for example, although I am living in urban area, almost every year, my family take summer vacation in nearest village.It feels nice to stay away from the pressure and pollution, not to say being surrounded by nature where there are a lot of plant, flowers and animals to see. Besides, study is never needed here, the only thing i need to do is to water flowers and enjoy fishing.So when it comes to an end, i feel myself in a good state to be ready for the tough study of next semester, as a result of the positive effect of refreshing long stay in countryside.That is what i can get from a different life. So if there is a chance to move out, why not take a try?
! g. j/ X& t7 @! k! F3 r3 Q: `. C3 b" L
Similarly, moving to cities also have an positive impact on country people.Given that infrastructure constructions and public facilities in rural areas are less developed than those in cities, Fast-paced lives still have many upsides. For instance. Free access to internet help people in communicating with friends and work associates instantly. And net-like public transportation makes their going out and travelling quite convenient. What is more, Since urban population density is much higher,they are able to get to know more people in the city than they could in the country, Then hanging out with new friends is likely to add to their enjoyment in lives. Therefore, if they could move to another place, they would benefit from good sides of urban lifestyle, and possess something different in their lives.
4 e! B+ T' B/ Y4 `+ K: g/ U- n+ v: D' K3 B7 @& D, X& W
To sum up,Staying for a long time in a place make lives less enthusiastic. many people really need a change of air, and it is good for them no matter moving from the city to the country, or from the country to the city. It can help them enjoy lives in another way.

语言功底不错哦，不过我觉得第三段看起来不像是第二个理由，而是第二段的进一步解释。层次有点乱。

作者: NO.xiaoyuyu 时间: 2010-7-16 12:10:44

From my point of view, most people, in their whole lives,should move at least once from the city to country, or from the country to the city, rather than spend their lifetimes staying in the same place,despite that some people might have strong attachments to their old places.

Admittedly, It happens very often that many people are so attached to their present home that they are unwilling to move out. Because they have their own circles with a large group of friends there,and they are familiar with surrounding areas.But if they want to move to a new place, many factors should be taken into consideration. They might be wondering whether new neighbors are friendly or not, and whether they can soon adapt to a new environment. So all these possible problems may weak (weaken) their desires of moving to another place.

Nevertheless,moving to another place is still worthy,as it offers a good opportunity to experience different lifestyles. Nowadays, many people's lives are mechanical and dull, because of their sticking to their present lifestyles. For example, people living in urban areas, like robots, repeating every day, are stressed out to catch up with fast pace.If they live different areas（lives）, i believe they would have some feelings they never felt before, taking（and take） different views of their lives. I want to take my personal experience for example, although I am living in urban area, almost every year, my family take summer vacation in nearest village.It feels nice to stay away from the pressure and pollution, not to say being surrounded by nature where there are a lot of plant, flowers and animals to see. Besides, study is never needed here, the only thing i need to do is to water flowers and enjoy fishing.So when it comes to an end, i feel myself in a good state to be ready for the tough study of next semester, as a result of the positive effect of refreshing long stay in countryside.That is what i can get from a different life. So if there is a chance to move out, why not take a try?

Similarly, moving to cities also have an positive impact on country people.Given that infrastructure constructions and public facilities in rural areas are less developed than those in cities, Fast-paced lives still have many upsides. For instance. Free access（ing） to internet help people in communicating with friends and work associates instantly. And net-like public transportation makes their going out and travelling quite convenient. What is more, Since urban population density is much higher,they are able to get to know more people in the city than they could in the country, Then hanging out with new friends is likely to add to their enjoyment in lives. Therefore, if they could move to another place, they would benefit from good sides of urban lifestyle, and possess something different in their lives.( W, g5 _9 H E

To sum up,Staying for a long time in a place make lives less enthusiastic. many people really need a change of air, and it is good for them no matter moving from the city to the country, or from the country to the city. It can help them enjoy lives in another way.

作者: fd笑笑 时间: 2010-7-16 16:56:28

From my point of view, most people, in their whole lives,should move at least once from the city to country, or from the country to the city, rather than spend their lifetimes staying in the same place,despite that some people might have strong attachments to their old places.8 q9 M& A8 c' o2 H
' b1 u2 h% X2 P5 H4 ]% S
Admittedly, It happens very often that many people are so attached to their present home that they are unwilling to move out. Because they have their own circles with a large group of friends there,and are familiar with surrounding areas.But if they want to move to a new place, many factors should be taken into consideration. They might be wondering whether new neighbors are friendly or not, and whether they can soon adapt to a new environment. So all these possible problems may weaken their desires of moving to another place." Z: w4 j+ T; u* W

Nevertheless,moving to another place is still worthy,as it offers a good opportunity to experience different lifestyles. Nowadays, many people's lives are mechanical and dull, because of their sticking to their present lifestyles. For example, people living in urban areas, like robots, repeating every day, are stressed out to catch up with fast pace.If they live different lives, i believe they would have some feelings they never felt before, and take different views of their lives. I want to take my personal experience for example, although I am living in urban area, almost every year, my family take summer vacation in nearest village.It feels nice to stay away from the pressure and pollution, not to say (不知有没有这种用法，not to mention 或者let alone更地道点)being surrounded by nature where there are a lot of plant, flowers and animals to see. Besides, study is never needed here, the only thing i need to do is to water flowers and enjoy fishing.So when it comes to an end, i feel myself in a good state to be ready for the tough study of next semester, as a result of the positive effect of refreshing long stay in countryside.That is what i can get from a different life. So if there is a chance to move out, why not take a try?
0 R/ W2 D+ Z3 ?4 k+ N. h6 X, g
Similarly, moving to cities also have an positive impact on country people.Given that infrastructure constructions and public facilities in rural areas are less developed than those in cities, Fast-paced lives still have many upsides. For instance. Free access to internet help people in communicating with friends and work associates instantly. And net-like public transportation makes their going out and travelling quite convenient. What is more, Since urban population density is much higher,they are able to get to know more people in the city than they could in the country, Then hanging out with new friends is likely to add to their enjoyment in lives. Therefore, if they could move to another place, they would benefit from good sides of urban lifestyle, and possess something different in their lives. y& b' ? {* E- B) c7 ]- o

To sum up,Staying for a long time in a place make lives less enthusiastic. many people really need a change of air, and it is good for them no matter moving from the city to the country, or from the country to the city. It can help them enjoy lives in another way.
惊叹楼主非常能写！但是要注意效率，句子组织要简练一些。
觉得楼主的语言不错，用词多样。一二段很赞！
不过觉得本文就只讲个一个观点：生活方式的改变。。。。。。。二三段其实都是支持这一个观点的。不知道考试能不能这样写，只写一个观点而分析相当透彻。你觉得呢？

作者: aladdin.ivy 时间: 2010-7-16 20:24:00

楼主语言功底了得，行文间看不出什么模板的迹象。语言流畅通顺，用词句式多样。
至于楼上同学提出的问题，我有些不同的看法，我觉得楼主这篇文章紧扣题目，写出了城市与乡村的不同好处，而且有让步，有论证，很新颖。
个人建议，将三段nevertheless那句作为二段尾句，第三段的首句如果点明此段是写从城市移居农村，会更有层次感……

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-16 22:11:57

哈哈，谢谢所有的意见。我会针对地进行改进地。。

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-17 11:02:42

本帖最后由 lxg198607 于 2010-7-17 11:04 编辑

From my point of view, For any student who wants to succeed in his field, the importance of basic science classes can not be overemphasized, as they are probably the foundation of all advanced subjects.For any student in the hope of managing their daily lives, some knowledge of basic sciences are also indispensable. Both of them make it quite necessary for every student to study basic science classes even though he is not majoring in these subjects.

The first reason why i support the contention above is obviously that basic science classes are of great importance,just like the groundwork of a tall building.If students wish to climb to the top,they must make sure the basics is firm enough, in case of falling off.I want to take my personal experience for example.As a material engineering major, i am required to attend physics courses.Considering that physics seems to be irrelative to my major, a very practical subject,i took it a lot less seriously.Not until i explored a little further into my major had i realized the importance of this basic science, which gave me so much theoretical support in my field.Almost all the design of products rely on formulations and equations in physics.Thus, if i am very weak in physics, i might have achieved a little in my field.It works the same way that no one is able to go further without through and solid knowledge of basic science.

Secondly,taking basic science not just benefits students' future studies,but plays a role in their daily lives.The first thing in my mind is mathematics, it is hard to imagine people's lives with poor mathematics.They might always make mistakes in financial issues.For instance, they may pay more for their stuff because of miscount. What is more, a man with a little knowledge of chemistry is also likely to get himself in troubles.if someone is spilled by the concentrated acid by accident,any wrong emergency measure like washing the wound with running water only make things worse.But I believe most student who has attended chemistry classes must know how to deal with such an emergency. They should wash the burning injury with alkalescent substance like some kinds of soap.Therefore, studying some basic classes indeed bring about a lot of benefits to people's daily lives.

To sum up, since that there are so many advantages of taking basic science, such as configuring the solid basic of advanced classes, and providing some basic survival skills.All students should be asked to study them, no matter they are majoring in these courses or not.

作者: darkathrun 时间: 2010-7-17 18:18:04

LZ我和你一组，作文已经改好，写的很好。

作者: serena-blue 时间: 2010-7-17 20:00:51

作文已改好。向楼主同学学习，文章写得很流畅，论证有力。
From my point of view, For any student who wants to succeed in his field, the importance of basic science classes can not be overemphasized, as they are probably the foundation of all advanced subjects.For any student in the hope of managing their daily lives, some knowledge of basic sciences are also indispensable. Both of them make it quite necessary for every student to study basic science classes even though he is not majoring in these subjects.

The first reason why i support the contention above is obviously that basic science classes are of great importance,just like the groundwork of a tall building.If students wish to climb to the top,they must make sure the basics is firm enough, in case of falling off.I want to take my personal experience for example.As a material engineering major, i am required to attend physics courses.Considering that physics seems to be irrelative to my major, a very practical subject,i took it a lot less seriously.Not until i explored a little further into my major had i realized the importance of this basic science, which gave me so much theoretical support in my field.Almost all the design of products rely on formulations and equations in physics.Thus, if i am very weak in physics, i might have achieved（ a）（删除） little in my field.It works the same way that no one is able to go further without through and solid knowledge of basic science.

Secondly,taking basic science not just benefits students' future studies,but plays a role in their daily lives.The first thing in my mind is mathematics, it is hard to imagine people's lives with poor mathematics.They might always make mistakes in financial issues.For instance, they may pay more for their stuff because of miscount. What is more, a man with a little knowledge of chemistry is also likely to get himself in troubles.if someone is spilled by the concentrated acid by accident,any wrong emergency measure like washing the wound with running water only make things worse.But I believe most student(s) who has(have) attended chemistry classes must know how to deal with such an emergency. They should wash the burning injury with alkalescent substance like some kinds of soap.Therefore, studying some basic classes indeed bring about a lot of benefits to people's daily lives.

To sum up, since that there are so many advantages of taking basic science, such as configuring the solid basic of advanced classes, and providing some basic survival skills.All students should be asked to study them, no matter they are majoring in these courses or not.

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-20 16:28:48

本帖最后由 lxg198607 于 2010-7-21 12:52 编辑

From my point of view,  Although pursuit of money may be the largest motivate of businessmen, it is biased to state that making money is the only reason for being businessmen. Because, there are many other factors that could influence their choices, such as reputation, interest and so on.

Admittedly,  Almost every merchant, who lives by their business, pursues the maximal profit in every possible way.  They long for money as much as all others do.  Money provides their family the finest lives, and offers their children the best education. In some cases, they are in need of a big money to expand their business. Thus, that is the way they are supposed to be, and as long as they play by law,  no one can doubt their motivations involved in money.

Nevertheless,  many businessmen are not only motivated by money. Their purpose in being business are various, and the interest might be one of them. For example, Jenny,  one of my best friend,  is present selling cosmetics online.  From a rich family,  She seems to have little difficulty in getting as much money as she want from her parents.  It has been her interest since high school that makes herself a businessman, despite that her business does not bring much money. In her perspective, business is not a way of making money, but the means of having much fun in dealing with different customers,  and tasting a sense of accomplishment in giving their customers useful suggestions. Therefore, people's interest is also one of many motivations of being businessmen.  It gives them pride and fun that money can not buy.

Moreover,  reputation is as well an important factor of carrying on business. It is often seen that some businessmen consider reputation more important than profit.  As money is a matter of period, but reputation is a matter of lifetime. A good reputation passes down from one generation to another, and takes many generations to keep and spread. So there is no surprise that some businessmen, in a sense, motivated by their reputations.  I want to take a successful businessman, Jack, for example.  Jack is in charge of the largest pharmacy in my city.  His brand dated from 1910's, and has a good reputation among citizens. people are willing to buy medicine there because of low price and warm service. Just several years ago,  a severe flu epidemic stoke my city,  all kinds of medicine are in great demand.  Many pharmacies took this chance to raise their prices.  However, in face of huge profit,  Jack still sold all of his medicine at original prices, even gave away some needed drugs to poor people. As a result of his kindness and perseverance of reputation,  an increasing number of people became his frequent visitors. So, in some cases,  businessmen think of reputation over money as their motivations.  They would prefer to give up some temporary interest rather than ruin the reputation.

To sum up, i admit that major aim of businessmen is to make money, but it may be an overstatement that businessmen are entirely attached to money. There are some other motivations like interests,  reputation promote businessmen to move forward in their field.

作者: pantheon123 时间: 2010-7-21 12:39:07

From my point of view,  Although pursuit of money may be the largestmotivate （motivation）of businessmen, it is biased to state that making money is theonly reason for being businessmen. Because, there are many otherfactors that could influence their choices, such as reputation,interest and so on.6 x5 i% h9 B6 f- l0 p( r! z
; p% h( `( J5 |3 _( ]. a6 l
Admittedly,  Almost every merchant, who lives by their business,pursues the maximal profit in every possible way.  They long for moneyas much as all others do.  Money provides their family the finestlives, and offers their children the best education. In some cases,they are in need of a big money to expand their business. Thus, that ise.（？？？） As long as they play by law,  no one can doubt their motivationsinvolved in money.
9 c$ P0 t8 }- Z3 A! S
: l- |$ A6 Z: m8 ?. q* o0 ~Nevertheless,  manybusinessmen are not only motivated by money. Their purpose in beingbusiness are various, and the interest might be one of them. Forexample, Jenny,  one of my best friend,  is present selling cosmeticsonline.  From a rich family,  She seems to have little difficulty ingetting as much money as she want from her parents.  It has been herinterest since high school that makes herself a businessman, despitethat her business does not bring much money. In her perspective,business is not a way of making money, but the means of having much funin dealing with different customers,  and tasting a sense ofaccomplishment in giving their customers useful suggestions. Therefore,people's interest is also one of many motivations of beingbusinessmen.  It gives them pride and fun that money can not buy.
; K: F, V/ ?9 d) q, |$ k! I# x5 T
2 a, a/ F9 t0 t( {$ _0 jMoreover,  reputationis as well an important factor of carrying on business. It is oftenseen that some businessmen consider reputation more important thanprofit.  As money is a matter of period, but reputation is a matter oflifetime. A good reputation passes down from one generation to another,and takes many generations to keep and spread. So there is no surprisethat some businessmen, in a sense, motivated by their reputations.  Iwant to take a successful businessman, Jack, for example.  Jack is incharge of the largest pharmacy in my city.  His brand dated from1910's, and has a good reputation among citizens. people are willing tobuy medicine there because of low price and warm service. Justseveral years ago,  a severe flu epidemic stoke（struck？） my city,  all kinds ofmedicine are in great demand.  Many pharmacies took this chance toraise their prices.  However, in face of huge profit,  Jack still soldall of his medicine at original prices, even gave away some neededdrugs to poor people. As a result of his kindness and perseverance ofreputation,  an increasing number of people became his frequentvisitors. So, in some cases,  businessmen think of reputation overmoney as their motivations.  They would prefer to give up sometemporary interests rather than ruin the reputation. * s# Y2 ~  z* H9 _0 _& O

" u+ y4 C, v& Q; wTo sum up,  i admit that major aim of businessmen is to make money, but it may bean overstatement that businessmen are entirely attached to money.  There are some other motivations like interests,  reputation promotebusinessmen to move forward in their field.

楼主写的很好，无论是表达还是内容，学习了。以我的水平看不出错误。。顺便问一下，例子是编的吗？？

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-21 12:52:58

哈哈，被你看出来了。就是编的，实在举不出例子来。。

作者: nunulong 时间: 2010-7-21 13:15:35

您好，文章已修改，请查收，水平有限，请包涵。

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-22 20:36:52

From my point of view, i basically agree with the contention above.  Because i know at least two things of a student who has a tidy and well-organized room-he or she is aware of the importance of preservation and has an ability to get things organized.  Given that these good qualities are some of the most important ones that successful men should possess. So such a student indeed has a big chance to succeed in future career.

To begin with,  an ability of organization is so important for people who are eager for success, in particular, for businessmen who are running companies. Although running a company is much more complex and harder than cleaning up a room,  it primarily works the same way.  Just as an old saying goes, cleaning up the room is the first step of managing the country.  To get organized rooms, people try to put their staff, such as books, pens and so forth, in the best place.  Likewise,  in face of hundreds of workers to be arranged, wise managers put the right person in the right position, to allow everyone to make the best of his or her talent.  All this not only bring a lot financial benefit, but also raises their careers to new heights.

What's more,  as is well known, detail is the key of success.  I am convinced that students capable of maintaining tidy and organized rooms is high likely to demand for details. This drives him to carry out careful and thorough examinations in advance, and make sure everything is ready to go. Besides, with a strong responsibility, he never let any mistake pass him by.  If someone has  build such a good habit in his early life,  i am sure it will has a positive impact on his future work.  I want to take my uncle for example. Far from good-looking and gifted,  he has so keen on details since childhood that examinations have to be done many times before advancing to the next step. So his boss was greatly impressed by his carefulness, and then promoted him as a department manager.  Therefore, People taking care of every detail are able to achieve something in future.

Moreover,  any student with strong preservation is more likely to be successful. There is no way to get rooms tidy all the time with no preservation, as it is not a matter of several days, but a matter of several years or longer.  And the road heading for success is much harder to forward. There must be countless puddles and bumps on people's ways.  Not all people are able to persist, but i believe that someone who sticks to his goal and keeps moving will finally taste the fruit of success.

To sum up, despite that, to many people, keeping a neat and organized room is not a big deal, i insist it reveals many good characters of successful people.  Thus,  anyone who can persist is very possible to obtain the success.

作者: peggy890 时间: 2010-7-23 13:59:02

From my point of view, i basically agree with the contention above.  Because i know at least two things of a student who has a tidy and well-organized room-he or she is aware of the importance of preservation and has an ability to get things organized.  Given that these good qualities are some of the most important ones that successful men should possess. So such a student indeed has a big chance to succeed in future career.

To begin with, an ability of organization（建议用self-management更贴切点） is so important for people who are eager for success, in particular, for businessmen who are running companies. Although running a company is much more complex and harder than cleaning up a room,  it primarily works the same way.  Just as an old saying goes, cleaning up the room is the first step of managing the country.  To get organized rooms, people try to put their staff, such as books, pens and so forth, in the best place.  Likewise,  in face of hundreds of workers to be arranged, wise managers put the right person in the right position, to allow everyone to make the best of his or her talent.  All this not only bring a lot financial benefit, but also raises their careers to new heights.
( m/ r$ x: I/ I4 |: q: s
What's more,  as is well known, detail is the key of success.  I am convinced that students capable of maintaining tidy and organized rooms is high likely（用high不能修饰Likely吧） to demand （care about）for details. This drives him to carry out careful and thorough examinations in advance, and make sure everything is ready to go. Besides, with a strong responsibility, he never let any mistake pass him by.  If someone has build such a good habit in his early life,  i am sure it will has a positive impact on his future work.  I want to take my uncle for example. Far from good-looking and(or) gifted,  he has so keen on details since childhood that examinations have to be done many times before advancing to the next step. So his boss was greatly impressed by his carefulness, and then promoted him as a department manager.  Therefore, People taking care of every detail are able to achieve something in future.  5 [; P/ I& {7 ^! K7 H

Moreover,  any student with strong preservation is more likely to be successful. (这个的意思没有看明白)There is no way to get rooms tidy all the time with no preservation, as it is not a matter of several days, but a matter（换一个词，thing） of several years or longer.  And the road heading for success is much harder to forward. There must be countless puddles and bumps on people's ways.  Not all people are able to persist, but i believe that someone who sticks to his goal and keeps moving will finally taste the fruit of success.

To sum up, despite that, to many people, keeping a neat and organized room is not a big deal, i insist it reveals many good characters of successful people.  Thus,  anyone who can persist is very possible to obtain the success.
结构、内容都很不错，希望在细节用词以及中心意思的表达上多注意一下，加油~

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-24 19:06:05

From my point of view,  i basically agree with the statement above. Obviously, Doing Sports  helps people build body and stay healthy. Yet,  is there anything else people may benefit from sports?  i suppose the answer is positive.  Many sports give people inspirations in their lives.

To begin with,  many sports, such as basketball, football, volleyball, are actually team work, instead of "one on one" game.  So players are required to cooperate very well if they want to win the game.  Taking basketball game for example,  i guess many basketball fans still remember the classic final in the FIBA world championship.  Spain Versus United states!  It is well known that Spanish players were not as strong, gifted as their opponents,  most of which are super stars in NBA.  However,  such a invincible team was finally beaten by Spanish teamwork.  Spanish played as a team, while Americans played as five players.  So i believe people who watch this game probably learn to do homework,  and may use it in their work or study.  Since,  nowadays,  work is more complicated and huger than ever before, which needs a great deal of team work. There is a good chance that people valuing team work are popular with their bosses and colleagues.  Because they are ready to help people who are in trouble, and are capable of appreciating other's opinions and dealing with difference. In this case, their work is to be done very effectively.

What is more,  Many audience would be touched by the scene that an athlete with sprained feet walked toward the finishing line. Although he did not win the first place,  he still won all applause and cheers.  People appreciate this sport spirit- never give up not only because it touches people, but also as it inspires them in their own fields.  When it comes to daily lives,  It often happens that many people choose to step back when they meet with difficulties. But actually if only people confront these difficulties,  they would find out those problems are easier than they thought. For example,  every time I am puzzled by a thorny mathematic problem,  giving up appears to be first choice. But when the injured runner flashed before my eye, I pull myself back and try to think of all kinds of ways. In the end i always work it out.  So something is not that hard as long as people cherish that sport spirit. So that is what can get from sports. i am convinced everyone else is also able to learn something from sports.

To sum up,  sports is far more than a means in which people have a lot of fun, and keep in a good shape.  People as well learn many things that they depend on to get theirs job done in a easy way or overcome various difficulties.

作者: longxue26 时间: 2010-7-25 10:45:44

钢炮同学 <您的名字我看一眼就不再忘了忒有个性!>

作文修改完毕! 若有意见尽管找我我在群里潜伏着呢

您也辛苦哈加油加油

作者: candyleen 时间: 2010-7-25 11:34:22

这是我改的作文，感觉写的真好，可我的水平实在是惭愧，改的可能不是很令你满意，多多包涵了~
下面是批改的链接~

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-27 09:25:56

From my point of view,  television commercials are not mainly responsible for people's unhealthy habit of diets.  Because,  compared to some other reasons, such as fast-pace lifestyle, weakness in cooking,  advertising has less impact on unhealthy eating habits,

Admittedly,  advertising firstly appears to blame, as all kinds of commercials are overwhelming,  along with strong recommendations of celebrities and fancy pictures.  These advertisements are so appealing that people can not help resist the temptation.  However, Commercials are far from causing their unhealthy habits. People choose junk food not for the reason of advertisement,  but because they like to eat them, or because they have to choose them. If they show no interest in junk food,  any effort that commercials make is only in vain.  Thus,  i support the following two reasons which may lead people into build up unhealthy habit.

The first cause is very common. In modern society,  people living in the city, are usually tied up with their work. They are so busy that they barely take a break, even that sometimes they do not have enough time to enjoy their dinner.  For example,  my cousin, presently working in one of World's top 500 corporations,  is not allowed to have their lunch within more than 30 minutes.  Dining at home or in the restaurant seems to be impossible,  he only eat fast food as fast as possible to start his work in time.  Over years,  he has got some problems with his stomach,  and his face has not been healthy as he was.  So it is clear that prevalence of fast food results from people's lifestyle, filled with much pressure, which deprive them of other ways of dinning. They have to eat fast food at a high speed, despite that they could have some healthier way of eating.  But If they are given two-hour break at noon,  i believe their cravings for healthy and delicious good would lead them away junk food, and head them out for home or restaurant

What is more, one side effect of people's busy work is that an increasing number of young people know little about cooking.  Lack of necessary cooking skills,  they have much difficulty in feeding themselves at home. Make no effort in learning how to cook,  they either turn to restaurant or go to fast food.  In comparison, fast food is much better, as they can eat at any time in any way they like. Fast food in turn breed people’s laziness. They are less willing to cook, considering that fast food are available in any supermarket. And there are many flavors, they seem never sick of junk food. Thus, daily dinners gradually are replaced by junk food and fast noodles.  Finally, in vicious circle,  they formed unhealthy eating habits.

To sum up, advertising is only a means of marketing.  People would not be into junk food just because of commercial.  So the public should not accuse it of causing unhealthy eating habits. Besides,  people should dig out the true reason beneath the surface, like busy work and disability to cook drive people to eat fast food

作者: cocojames 时间: 2010-7-28 14:14:36

From my point of view,  television commercials are not mainly responsible for people's unhealthy habit of diets.  Because,  compared to some other reasons, such as fast-pace lifestyle, weakness in cooking,  advertising has less impact on unhealthy eating habits,  5 ~3 U4 f& a3 ~, F: N

Admittedly,  advertising firstly appears to blame, as all kinds of commercials are overwhelming,  along with strong recommendations of celebrities and fancy pictures.  These advertisements are so appealing that people can not help resist the temptation.  However, Commercials are far from causing their unhealthy habits. People choose junk food not for the reason of advertisement,  but because they like to eat them, or because they have to choose them. If they show no interest in junk food,  any effort that commercials make is only in vain.  Thus,  i support the following two reasons which may lead people into build up unhealthy habit.

The first cause is very common. In modern society,  people living in the city, are usually tied up with their work. They are so busy that they barely take a break, even that sometimes they do not have enough time to enjoy their dinner.  For example,  my cousin, presently working in one of World's top 500 corporations,  is not allowed to have their lunch within more than 30 minutes.  Dining at home or in the restaurant seems to be impossible,  he only eat fast food as fast as possible to start his work in time.  Over years,  he has got some problems with his stomach,  and his face has not been healthy as he was.  So it is clear that prevalence of fast food results from people's lifestyle, filled with much pressure, which deprive them of other ways of dinning. They have to eat fast food at a high speed, despite that they could have some healthier way of eating.  But If they are given two-hour break at noon,  i believe their cravings for healthy and delicious good would lead them away junk food, and head them out for home or restaurant

is more, one side effect of people's busy work is that an increasing number of young people know little about cooking.  Lack of necessary cooking skills,  they have much difficulty in feeding themselves at home. Make no effort in learning how to cook,  they either turn to restaurant or go to fast food.  In comparison, fast food is much better, as they can eat at any time in any way they like. Fast food in turn breed people’s laziness. They are less willing to cook, considering that fast food are available in any supermarket. And there are many flavors, they seem never sick of junk food. Thus, daily dinners gradually are replaced by junk food and fast noodles.  Finally, in vicious circle,  they formed unhealthy eating habits.这个观点怎么看起来像是刚好与自己的立论相悖呢。恰恰可以用来支持你观点的反面。

To sum up, advertising is only a means of marketing.  People would not be into junk food just because of commercial.  So the public should not accuse it of causing unhealthy eating habits. Besides,  people should dig out the true reason beneath the surface, like busy work and disability to cook drive people to eat fast food.

语言功底不错哦

作者: anitaxja 时间: 2010-7-29 11:52:57

From my point of view,  television commercials（注意，题干中是advertising，没有限制在tv commercials，应当注意） are not mainly responsible for people's unhealthy habit of diets.  This is because,  compared to some other reasons, such as fast-pace lifestyle, weakness in cooking,  advertising has less impact on unhealthy eating habits,  - q0 ]6 P$ f3 v

Admittedly,  advertising firstly appears to blame, as all kinds of commercials are overwhelming,  along with strong recommendations of celebrities and fancy pictures.  These advertisements are so appealing that people can not help resist the temptation.  However, Commercials are far from causing their unhealthy habits（这句话放在这里，没明白）. People choose junk food not for the reason of advertisement,  but because they like to eat them, or because they have to choose them. If they show no interest in junk food,  any effort that commercials make is only in vain.  Thus,  i support the following two reasons which may lead people into build up unhealthy habit.
The first cause is very common that XXX(建议把第一个观点直接列出放在首句，让结构清晰一点). In modern society,  people living in the city, are usually tied up with their work.（People living in cities are usually tied up with their work.） They are so busy that they barely take a break, even that sometimes they do not have enough time to enjoy their dinner.  For example,  my cousin, presently working in one of World's top 500 corporations,  is not allowed to have their lunch within(in) more than 30 minutes.  Dining at home or in the restaurant seems to be impossible, and(注意一个句子不能有两个谓语) he only eats fast food as fast as possible to start his work in time.  Over years,  he has got some problems with his stomach,  and his face has not been(he doesn't look，用healthy形容face有点chin-glish) healthy as he was.  So it is clear that prevalence of fast food results from people's lifestyle, filled with much pressure, which deprives them of other ways of dinning. They have to eat fast food at a high speed, despite that they could have some healthier way of eating.  But If they are given two-hour break at noon,  i believe their cravings for healthy and delicious good would lead them away junk food, and head them out for home or restaurant

What is more, one side effect of people's busy work is that an increasing number of young people know little about cooking.  Lacking of necessary cooking skills,  they have much difficulty in feeding themselves at home. Making（注意条件句的用法） no effort in learning how to cook,  they either turn to restaurant or go to fast food.  In comparison, fast food is much better, as they can eat at any time in any way they like. Fast food in turn breed people’s laziness. They are less willing to cook, considering that fast food are available in any supermarket. And there are many flavors, they seem never sick of junk food. Thus, daily dinners gradually are replaced by junk food and fast noodles.  Finally, in vicious circle,  they formed unhealthy eating habits.

To sum up, advertising is only a means of marketing.  People would not be into junk food just because of commercial.  So the public should not accuse it of causing unhealthy eating habits. Besides,  people should dig out the true reason beneath the surface, like busy work and disability to cook drive people to eat fast food

总结：总体感觉不错，LZ有一定的功底在，这点从词汇的选择上能看出来。文中有多处条件句的使用有误，值得引起注意。
说一下内容，当初我拿到这道题也有一点困惑，因为如果选择disagree with the statement，那么究竟该从论证（1）广告并非引起不健康饮食习惯的最重要原因（通过论证广告能引起健康饮食习惯）还是（2）XX是引起不健康饮食习惯的最重要原因呢？从楼主的论证来看，更偏重（2）。事实上我很困惑碰到此类题该从什么角度下手，所以我自己最终采用了（1）+（2），并着重论证（1）。希望看到这篇文章的同学也给写你们的意见吧，在遇到此类题时改侧重那个角度？
总体看这篇文章不错。

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-29 18:42:52

From my point of view,  i entirely support the statement above. Because,  taking some different jobs benefits young people a lot before they begin a long term career, in term of their career orientation, work experience,  and skill socializing.

To begin with, different experience help young people in their career orientation. It is common that many students take a long term career as soon as they graduate from colleges. However,  it will not take long before they find out present jobs are actually not best for them. So it would be better if they have oriented their career in advance by taking different jobs. In this case,  they know what kind of job they want to dedicate most of his life to, and are aware of what they can do. Thus ,taking some jobs beforehand are necessary for young people first to make it clear to themselves what they really want, and then help them make good choices in their career.

Moreover,  young people clearly gain much work experience through different jobs.  The present, most students so immerse themselves into study that they are a little out of touch with society.  All study and no work make them lack of experience and communication skill.  The fact is that there is no way to accomplish something in future career, if they have no experience. Taking several different jobs just give them experience and communication skills they need in future. For example, they are able to know how to get work done, in cooperation with their partners. And they can learn several ways to deal with tough problems or emergency from experienced colleagues.  Besides, they are likely to develop their skills in communication by dealing with different people, including their colleagues and bosses.  For instance, they study to keep a healthy relationship with people working together, and learn to appreciate other ideas,  as well as tolerate different opinions. Therefore, any young man who possesses these good qualities will  probably impress his future bosses and make him popular with future colleagues.

What is more, To some people,  interest is the biggest factor in deciding a long term career.  But satisfaction come with a price,  in most cases,  their career may not bring comfortable income in the short run.  They are in need of financial support if they stick to what they like to do . So young people may take some other jobs to save some money.  With enough money, they could carry out their favorite career, and fulfill jobs satisfaction.

To sum up,  i insist that young people ought to try several different jobs before starting a long run career. As it is a good way to accumulate work experience and communication skills.  And at the same time a financial foundation is built to allow them to follow their dreams.

作者: yylbj 时间: 2010-7-30 09:57:43

From my point of view,  i entirely support the statement above. Because,  taking some different jobs benefits young people a lot before they begin a long term career,(感觉有点啰嗦，建议改为since different experiences will denefitely brought us many benefits)
in term of their career orientation（好词!）, work experience,  and skill socializing.
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4 m9 P0 V8 g- C/ ZTo begin with, different experiences help young people(help用词有点简单，建议换一个) in their career orientation. It is common that many students take a long term career as soon as they graduate from colleges. However,  it will not take long before they find out present jobs are actually not best for them. So it would be better if they have oriented their career in advance by taking different jobs. In this case,  they know what kind of job they want to dedicate most of his life to, and are aware of what they can do. Thus ,taking some jobs beforehand are necessary for young people first to make it clear to themselves what they really want, and then help them make good choices in their career. 读着有点别扭，建议改为：taking some jobs beforehand will allow the young to make it clear what they really want and then make good choices in their career. B0 s' j

1 d; J; M/ J( i9 e2 `9 k& qMoreover,  young people clearly gain much work experiences through different jobs.  The present, most students so immerse themselves into study that they are a little out of touch with society. 好词组 All study and no work really加一些语气词 make them lack of experiences and communication skills.  The fact is that there is no way to accomplish something in future career, if they have no experience.(有点啰嗦，建议改为 without any experieces, nothing can be achived in future career.) Taking several different jobs just give them experience and communication skills they need in future.(与前文重复建议删去) For example, they are able to know how to get work been done as well as how to cooperate with their partners. And they can learn several ways to deal with tough problems or emergency from experienced colleagues.  Besides, they are likely to develop their skills in communication by dealing with different people, including their colleagues and bosses.  For instance, they study to keep a healthy relationship with people working together, and learn to appreciate other ideas,  as well as tolerate different opinions.  Therefore, any young man who possesses these good qualities will  probably impress his future bosses and make him popular with future colleagues.好句子* Y1 m' l( b( b. o  p! o$ h
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What is more, To some people,  interest is the biggest factor in deciding a long term career.  But satisfaction come with a price,  in most cases,  their career may not bring comfortable income in the short run.  They are in need of financial support if they stick to what they like to do . So young people may take some other jobs to save some money.  With enough money, they could carry out their favorite career, and fulfill jobs satisfaction.  3 D9 P* D# a/ T" M& j5 a
' F8 ]+ \8 W. D
To sum up,  i insist that young people ought to try several different jobs before starting a long run career. As it is a good way to accumulate work experience and communication skills.  And at the same time a financial foundation is built to allow them to follow their dreams.结尾很不错
思路很清晰，就是稍微有点啰嗦，我之前看了我的帖子2L的给我改的，真的很不错，我们都要加强名词化练习，加油！

作者: dy008 时间: 2010-7-30 11:04:46

小改动

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-7-31 16:59:49

本帖最后由 lxg198607 于 2010-8-1 12:22 编辑

In modern society,  there are many ways in which people get to know foreign countries, such as internet, newspaper, magazines,  a real trip and so forth. Among these ways,  i insist that a actual trip should be the best way of learning about other countries, despite that newspaper and magazines do have several upsides.

Admittedly, there seems several advantages of getting acquaint with other countries through newspapers and magazines. People may feel comfortable to learn about foreign countries at home, without moving, and without paying for transportation and accommodation. Besides, editors from these magazines and newspaper,  considered quite knowledgeable and experienced, are able to introduce other countries very concisely and precisely so that readers could have general ideas of these countries within several pages. However, compared to real trips,  it still has some downsides that may lead people to see foreign countries less objectively,  and make their "trips" less enjoyable.

The first advantage is that people may be wrong about foreign countries,  as a result of some subjective viewpoints in newspapers and magazines. Although good editors are required to give objective comments on everything they see in foreign countries, it is true that everyone sees the world in his own perspectives, affected by his own culture,  faith, and politics. Editor is no exception. In this case, they may interpret something incorrectly that they do not understand, and then pass these ideas to their readers. It is unfair to those readers who subscribe to it, in the hope of know rightly about the world.  Thus, only if people take a real trip to foreign countries, they could know what other countries are really like.  For example, there is a passage about Tibet in my favorite travel magazine, which describes Tibet as the darkest place in the world, where people are deprived of human rights and faiths by Han majority. I had been convinced until i took a trip to Tibet and found out what magazine said was not true. Actually,  they live in peace with Han majority, and of course they are free to have religion.  Editors might misinterpret it in order to meet some  political needs.  In a word, a real trip instead of newspapers and magazines is only way to learn about a foreign countries in an objective way.

Secondly,  for anyone who want to learn about a foreign country at all stages, travel on paper is far from enough. Magazines and newspaper help people know generally about other countries. But if they want more details,  they need a real travel there,  straightforward talking to local people, or touching ancient building in person. All these things get them closer to foreign culture and history . What is more, a actual trip add to fun in knowing of other countries. reading newspaper or magazines is actually very boring.  There is nothing but words and pictures, on the contrary,  travel has more fun. For example, when people land in foreign airport, feeling the blast of air from a different climate on their faces, they would have more ideas about the climate of this country.  Also they have pleasure in bargaining with vendors, learning how people there do business.  They buy some souvenirs or specialty food to share memorable trips with their family and friends.  These feelings are nothing like what people get from magazines or paper. Therefore, a real trip is a way in which they have a lot of fun,  as well as learn something.

To sum up, i disagree with the statement that people should learn about a foreign country via newspaper and magazines, regardless of its several advantages, which is outweighed by its disadvantages.  virtual travel may bring less fun and distorted views toward foreign countries.

作者: anitaxja 时间: 2010-7-31 22:03:19

我很喜欢钢炮同学的写作风格和句式内容啊....虽然这次不是一个小组的，不过727合作过一次，对你的作文印象很不错，所以过来吸取一点精髓嘿嘿~~731作业我觉得也得很好呢~~~

加油咯~

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-1 12:18:29

哈哈。。共同加油哦。。。

作者: yylbj 时间: 2010-8-1 16:02:38

In modern society,  there are many ways in which people get to know foreign countries, such as internet, newspaper, magazines,  a real trip and so forth. Among these ways,  i insist that a actual trip should be the best way of learning about other countries, despite that newspaper and magazines do have several upsides. 2 R! H/ m6 e3 l& Y4 f
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Admittedly, there seems several advantages of getting acquaint(好，学习) with other countries through newspapers and magazines. People may feel comfortable to learn about foreign countries at home, without moving, and without paying for transportation and accommodation. Besides, editors from these magazines and newspaper,  considered quite knowledgeable and experienced, are able to introduce other countries very concisely and precisely so that readers could have general ideas of these countries within several pages. However, compared to real trips,  it still has some downsides that may lead people to see foreign countries less objectively,  and make their "trips" less enjoyable.  这段写的很好，学习一下，呵呵~
The first advantage 应该是disadvantage吧？is that people may be wrong about foreign countries,  as a result of some subjective viewpoints in newspapers and magazines. Although good editors are required to give objective comments on everything they see in foreign countries, it is true that everyone sees the world in his own perspectives, affected by his own culture,  faith, and politics. Editor is no exception. In this case, they may interpret something incorrectly that they do not understand, and then pass these ideas to their readers. It is unfair to those readers who subscribe to it, in the hope of knowing rightly about the world.  Thus, only if people take a real trip to foreign countries, they could know what other countries are really like.  For example, there is a passage about Tibet in my favorite travel magazine, which describes Tibet as the darkest place in the world, where people are deprived of human rights and faiths by Han majority. I had been convinced until i took a trip to Tibet and found out what magazine said was not true. Actually,  they live in peace with Han majority, and of course they are free to have religion.  Editors might misinterpret it in order to meet some  political needs.  In a word, a real trip instead of newspapers and magazines is the only way to learn about a foreign countries in an objective way.) l8 e* [3 r* g; K8 G" U7 ?5 g

Secondly, for anyone who want to learn about a foreign country at all stages, travel on paper is far from enough. Magazines and newspaper help people know generally about other countries. But if they want more details,  they need a real travel there,  straightforward talking to local people, or touching ancient building in person. All these things get them closer to foreign culture and history . What is more, a actual trip add to fun in knowing of other countries. reading newspaper or magazines is actually very boring.  There is nothing but words and pictures, on the contrary,  travel has more fun. For example, when people land in foreign airport, feeling the blast of air from a different climate on their faces, they would have more ideas about the climate of this country.  Also they have pleasure in bargaining with vendors, learning how people there do business.  They buy some souvenirs or specialty food to share memorable trips with their family and friends.  These feelings are nothing like what people get from magazines or paper. Therefore, a real trip is a way in which they have a lot of fun,  as well as learn something. * Q+ \) v# a2 @  \( X# K  N
/ S  Q0 g; @& E1 ?( Y
To sum up, i disagree with the statement that people should learn about a foreign country via newspaper and magazines, regardless of its several advantages, which is outweighed by its disadvantages.  virtual travel may bring less fun and distorted views toward foreign countries.

很喜欢你的这篇文章！说理很到位，学习一下，呵呵~

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-3 18:29:01

本帖最后由 lxg198607 于 2010-8-3 18:30 编辑

From my point of view, a job that offers me more money is preferable to one that allows me a longer vacation. In most cases,  it is impossible to get big money as well as long vacations at the same time. So i make my choice for a practical reason that as a young man,  my main purpose of this period is to build up a financial foundation to provide my family good lives.  When i save enough money, i may get some days off, even quit my job to enjoy a long vacation.

Admittedly,  no one will deny a job with more vacation. A long period of vacation gives me a change of air for busy schedule.  I can do something i like to do. For example,  i am very fond of climbing. I hope to conquer some challenging mountains with my friends in summer vacation. However,  Enjoyment always comes with a price. In other words,  something i plan to do in vacation like climbing needs a large amount of money. Because climbing equipments are quite costly, not mention training school is highly paid. And a long vacation does not make any sense,  if i have no money to enjoy my climbing, So that is why i want to look for a highly-paid job in the first place.

Besides,  it is very necessary to form a material foundation at my age. Although money is not everything, it is really something that i need to support my family. Like most others, i am not from a rich family. So i do not have wealthy parents who are able to give me more money than i need. But my parent are as great as the others in the world, having worked so hard to pay for my intuition. I really want to lift some burdens on them so that they may enjoy their later lives.  A highly- salaried job is a better choice. Besides,  I have been dreaming to buy my girl friend a large house in the downtown. But it is barely going to happen without money. Especially,  in my country,  a big house seems like a prerequisite of marriage.  According to a recent statistics, it takes an adult ten years to buy a house.  So it is beyond me to afford a house in the short term if i just get a job with low salary.  For both my marriage and people i love, i have to sacrifice a long vacation first.

What is more, when i save enough money, i am capable of doing something that i think is very meaningful.  I would donate many books to  those children from poor families. Books might be helpful as is well known that knowledge is most powerful weapon. I hope knowledge would give them good lives in future.  In addition, of course when the day comes that money is no longer a problem,  i may give up my job to dedicate myself to my favorite things.  I am financially able to climb many famous mountains all over world. It will obviously add much memorable experience to my life. So with the help of money,  i have my dreams come true and  enjoy my vacation.

To sum up, i prefer a job with high salary over one with more vacation time. Because, compared to money, vacation is less important. Since money is the cornerstone of a happy life. I also need money to do what i like to do.

作者: anitaxja 时间: 2010-8-4 10:46:46

见附件

作者: 小囧字 时间: 2010-8-4 11:52:16

From my point of view, a job that offers me(可以删掉?) more money is preferable to one that allows me a longer vacation.In most cases,  it is impossible to get big money as well as longvacations at the same time. So i make my choice for a practical reason that asa young man,  my main purpose of this period is to build up afinancial foundation to provide my family good lives.  When i saveenough money, i may get some days off, even quit my job to enjoy a longvacation.
" r+ g2 \! Admittedly,  noone will deny a job with more vacation. A long period of vacation gives me achange of air for busy schedule.  I can do something i like to do.For example,  i am very fond of climbing. I hope to conquer somechallenging mountains with my friends in summer vacation.  However,  Enjoyment always comes with a price. In otherwords,  something i plan to do in vacation like climbing needs a largeamount of money. Because climbing equipments are quite costly, not mentiontraining school is highly paid. And a long vacation does not make anysense,  if i have no money to enjoy my climbing, So that is why iwant to look for a highly-paid job in the first place.: j1 r" p" a, L
Besides, it(指谁?) is verynecessary to form a material foundation at my age. Although money is noteverything, it is really something that i need to support myfamily. Like most others, i am not from a rich family. So i do not have wealthyparents who are able to give me more money than i need.But(转折?) my parents are as great as theothers in the world, having worked so hard to pay for my intuition. I reallywant to lift some burdens on them so that they may enjoy their laterlives.  A highly- salaried job is a better choice.Besides,  I have been dreaming to buy my girl friend a large house inthe downtown. But it is barely going to happen without money.Especially,  in my country,  a big house seems like aprerequisite of marriage.  According to a recent statistics, it takes an adult ten years to buy a house.  So it is beyondme to afford a house in the short term if i just get a job with lowsalary.  For both my marriage and people i love, i have to sacrificea long vacation first.' m% k& R. y5 o% I' v9 o
What is more, when i saveenough money, i am capable of doing something that i think is verymeaningful.  I would donate many books to  those childrenfrom poor families. Books might be helpful as is well known that knowledge ismost powerful weapon. I hope knowledge would give them good lives infuture.  In addition, of course when the day comes that money is nolonger a problem,  i may give up my job to dedicate myself to myfavorite things.  I am financially able to climb many famousmountains all over world. It will obviously add much memorable experience to mylife. So with the help of money,  i have my dreams come trueand  enjoy my vacation.$ X4 x$ z2 c% I8 s& T
To sum up, i prefer a job with high salary over one with more vacation time.Because, compared to money, vacation is less important. Since money is thecornerstone of a happy life. I also need money to do what i like to do.

作者: serena-blue 时间: 2010-8-4 13:04:20

来踩踩楼主的作文贴，学到了很多东西，多谢啦。。
话说，楼主每次开头的 from my point of view...结尾的to sum up是想作为模板一样，到考场上用吗？

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-4 15:52:11

我认为这个不算模板把，就算连接词吧。应该没事吧。。。我认为

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-5 17:03:17

From my point of view,  school children at this age are supposed to attend art or music class, which are as important as other subjects such as math ,science, and history.

The first reason why i back up the statement above is that children in this period have strong desire for knowledge. They are interested in anything they see.  For example, my little nephew,  a six-year-old boy, seems to have thousands of questions to ask.  His questions almost cover all areas,  including art and music.  It embarrasses his parents many times  because they know little about art and music.  So if school could teach children art and music,  it would be a good way to appease their curiosity.  They are able to know a lot basic knowledge of music and art.  So music and art class give these children an access to what they want to know.

What is more,  it is a great opportunity to find out their potentials in music and art.  Many gifted children are not aware of what they have got in art and music,  as school do not give them a chance to know. So it is very necessary to have some art and paint class to allow them to know better about themselves.  By doing this, those gifted children stand out in art or music class.  When their gifts are well known by their teachers or parents, they are encouraged to make a choice by themselves about future. They could take a path as many other people do, being a teacher, a engineer and so on.  Or when they get older, if they are still interested in this field, they could go to the professional schools to train their skills, in the hope of achieve something in future. Who knows? perhaps there will be one or two next Beethoven or vinci in these children

Finally, as we know, playing instrument and drawing are very effective means of relaxation  when adults are stressed and bored. So mastery of some instruments or drawing is necessary when they are young. I want to take my personal experience for example,  i have been interest in instruments, especially guitar, from the first music class in primary school. I like play guitar everyday. Because it gives me a break from busy study. Every evening,  after finishing my assignment, i like to play my electric guitar for a while to relax myself. I immerse myself into it so much that it seems like all the troubles and fatigue are soon gone.  So several songs make me feel much better, and i am in a good mood to be ready for the tough study of next day. Therefore, children really need to learn to draw or play instruments in their youth, which bring them so much fun in their leisure time.

To sum up, i totally support that children should be asked to study art and music. Since they not only have a chance to know what they can do in these fields, but also find a way to make them happy when they are upset or frustrated.

作者: dandan17 时间: 2010-8-6 16:50:26

[attach]148833[/attach]

作者: zinccopper 时间: 2010-8-6 22:35:38

改好啦
同时感谢你对我的修改

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-7 19:50:34

Nowadays, people pay much attention to a typical phenomenon that a growing number of college students take part-time jobs.  People’ opinions are different from individual. Some back up for the reason that part-time jobs bring students money and work experience.  The opponents insist that part-time jobs may call away students’ attentions from study. From my point of view,  part-time jobs are good for university students as long as they can balance well between study and part-time job.

First of all,  It is doubtless that college students are able to benefit financially from part-time jobs. They are paid for their hard work, and money can be well spent on what they need in study, such as books and materials.  Or it is well known that some students are from poor family, and their parents work so hard to pay for their school. taking Part-time job is a good way for them to takes away some burdens on their family.  In addition,  during months of part-time job,  they may know how hard it is to make every penny.  So they could understand why their parents to ask them to make the best of every dollar. Before this,  they are crazy about shopping and buy a lot of staff they never use. Now they may wonder if they really need these things instead.

Besides,  college students gain much work experience from part-time jobs.  Nowadays, many students in university throw themselves into study so deeply that they are out of touch with the society.  Lack of work experience and communication skills, they should not be surprised to be declined by their favorite companies.  So part-time jobs give them a chance to get in touch with outside world.  There are many experienced and knowledgeable workers in the company.  So they could learn a lot from them how to deal with tough problems or an emergency.  Besides, They may meet with different kinds of people, including colleagues, bosses and clients. For their work,  they would try to keep a healthy relationship with people around them, even some men they do not like. All these things get them better prepared for further careers. If they want to look for a good job,  professional knowledge are far from enough. Work experience and abilities to do with people are important as well.

Admittedly,  It will not do anything good if students spend too much time on part-times jobs. After all, their major tasks in universities are obtaining as much knowledge as possible to be ready for future careers. But if they are taking up too much time of working outside,  there might be little time left for study. And because of this, they are too tired to concentrate on classes. Then there is big chance that they will fail too many examinations,  and then be expelled by colleges. That is not their parent and teachers want to see.  So students should do well with study and part-time jobs.

To sum up, Students are supposed to take part-time jobs while they are studying in colleges, so long as they make sure it will not affect their study.  Because they could get a lot of thing they never obtain on campus,  like work experience and money, and have enough time for study at the same time.

作者: 高小鱼 时间: 2010-8-8 15:49:09

收到你的修改意见，非常感谢。我的修改请见附件:D

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-10 19:40:39

From my point of view, i basically agree with the statement above that people show more interest in domestic Movies and TV programs, despite Foreign TV shows and films really have some merits.

Admittedly, foreign Shows and Movies appear to be appealing, as they present different lives and different characters that people have never seen before.  Take TV shows from United states for example.  In the show, people lead luxurious lives.  They always keep track of the latest fashion trend, and are keen on luxury, such as LV bags and fancy sports car.  Also they are very frank, and just speak what they want. So These foreign TV programs let me know a lot how life is like in United states, as well as how American are like. And I am so interested in great difference between two countries,  considering that people in my country are ready to express in an indirect way and chase simple and harmonious lives.  However, compared to domestic TV shows and films,  products from other countries are still far from being interesting.
i
The first reason is that Local Movies and TV programs are closer to people's lives. It is likely that the scenes in movies or TV programs are just what people have experienced their real lives.  Audiences also seem to be familiar with those characters on the screen, who are just like people around them, such as friends, family, and work associates. For example, my favorite TV shows made in my country is "struggle"  which mainly describes a group of youngsters newly graduating from college triumph over lots of adversities  to  follow their dreams,  and finally achieve what they want.  These stories and characters just arouse an echo in the hearts of almost all teenager audience in my country. Because They are also through the same things. They are striving for their goals. By contrast, those characters in foreign products are mostly high-born from rich families. And they seem to have no such concerns.  Their lives are nothing like ours, which make foreign TV shows less popular in my country. Thus familiarity first lead people into being more fond of local TV shows or programs than foreign products.

Secondly,  cultural difference may lessen people's interest in foreign products. As is well known, people see the world in their own perspectives, primarily affected by their values. culture, and experiences. Then it is natural that the blockbusters made in foreign countries are less popular than domestic small-budget films. For example,  People in our country always find it difficulty to understand foreign humors or jokes in the Shows.  The typical example is "growing pains" made in United states. Although it is a good work,  audience in our country still do not understand why foreign audiences sitting down there laugh a lot every episode, in contrast with few laughter when we watch this "interesting" comedy.  Actually,  These fun or jokes are only being got by foreigners or people who fit into that environment.  So culture difference is to blame for foreign products' failure to express precisely to local audience what foreigners think is very fun. That is why foreign products always can not achieve what they expected.

What is more, there is possibility people' lack of interest in foreign products is the result of lame translation.  Obviously,  only a few audience are good at foreign language, which at least in my country is true,  so they mainly depend on subtitles. If the translation sucks,  They are not able to get the interesting part at all.

To sum up,  i insist that TV shows and films made in people's own countries are more interesting  as a result of familiarity  and culture difference, regardless that foreign TV shows or films bring local people much different feelings.

作者: linran0108 时间: 2010-8-10 20:39:32

本帖最后由 linran0108 于 2010-8-10 20:40 编辑

Nowadays, people pay much attention to a typical phenomenon that a growing number of college students take part-time jobs. People’ opinions are different from individual. Some back up for the reason ...
lxg198607 发表于 2010-8-7 19:50

Nowadays, people pay much attention to a typical phenomenon that a growing number of college students take part-time jobs.  [url=]People[/url][o1] ’ opinions are different from individual. Some back up for the reason that part-time jobs bring students money and work experience.  The opponents insist that part-time jobs may call away students’ attentions from study. From my point of view,  part-time jobs are good for university students as long as they can balance well between study and part-time job.

First of all,  It is doubtless that college students are able to benefit financially from part-time jobs. They are paid for their hard work, and money can be well spent on what they need in study, such as books and materials.  Or it is well known that some students are from poor family, and their parents work so hard to pay for their school. taking Part-time job is a good way for them to takes away some burdens on their family.  In addition,  during months of part-time job,  they may know how hard it is to make every penny.  So they could understand why their parents[url=] to [/url][o2] ask them to make the best of every dollar. Before this,  they are crazy about shopping and buy a lot of staff they never use. Now they may wonder if they really need these things instead.

Besides,  college students gain much work experience from part-time jobs.  Nowadays, many students in university throw themselves into study so deeply that they are out of touch with the society.  Lack of work experience and communication skills, they should not be surprised to be declined by their favorite companies.  [url=]So[/url][o3] part-time jobs give them a chance to get in touch with outside world.  There are many experienced and knowledgeable workers in the company.  So they could learn a lot from them how to deal with tough problems or an [url=]emergency[/url][o4] .  Besides, They may meet with different kinds of people, including colleagues, bosses and clients. For their work,  they would try to keep a healthy relationship with people around them, even some men they do not like. All these things[url=] get[/url][o5] them better prepared for further careers. If they want to look for a good job,  professional knowledge are far from enough. Work experience and abilities to do with people are important as well. ' K!
g2 a( [( t, j; T
5 n5 y0 z" z' R
Admittedly,  It will not do anything good if students spend too much time on part-times jobs. After all, their major tasks in universities are [url=]obtaining[/url][o6] as much knowledge as possible to be ready for future careers. But if they are[url=] taking up[/url][o7] too much time of working outside,  there might be little time left for study. And because of this, they are too tired to concentrate on classes. Then there is big chance that they will fail too many examinations,  and then be expelled by colleges.[url=] That is not their parent and teachers want to see.[/url][o8]   So students should do well with study and part-time jobs. " a, q5 z- |( p2 j# k* O$ C
7 |8 To sum up, Students are supposed to take part-time jobs while they are studying in colleges, so long as they make sure it will not affect their study.  Because they could get a lot of thing they never obtain on campus,  like work experience and money, and have enough time for study at the same time.

首先，字数太多了···586，这个不是30分钟能写出来的吧？
思路很好。大小写有些问题。。

[o1]People’s

[o2]需要么？应该省掉吧

[o3]However

[o4]用复数吧，跟前面统一

[o5]Force or push

[o6]我觉得用to obtain好一些

[o7]可以这么用？

[o8]读起来很连贯，但是仔细看，似乎有语法问题。。加一个what在not 后面吧。

作者: dy008 时间: 2010-8-10 21:47:05

我说，我是闲着无聊路过的。
看过你几篇文章，有一个问题，你的 I 从来不大写......
这个还是尽早纠正吧......

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-10 23:08:57

ok ....多些提醒。。。:lol

作者: rebaccajill 时间: 2010-8-11 14:58:01

From my point of view, i basically agree with the statement above that people show more interest in domestic Movies and TV programs, despite Foreign TV shows and films really have some merits. 5 B/ m2 a; W% m6 H

Admittedly, foreign Shows and Movies appear to be appealing, as they present different lives and different characters that people have never seen before.  Take TV shows from United states for example.  In the show, people lead luxurious lives.  They always keep track of the latest fashion trend, and are keen on luxury, such as LV bags and fancy sports car.  Also they are very frank, and just speak what they want. So These foreign TV programs let me know a lot how life is like in United states, as well as how American are like. And I am so interested in great difference between two countries,  considering that people in my country are ready to express in an indirect way and chase simple and harmonious lives.  However, compared to domestic TV shows and films,  products from other countries are still far from being interesting. (这一段的目的是？？)6 [9 D9 L, U# p3 `" z6 i9 y
i# S2 H& f0 q' w' W4 Z1 m# e# K; w9 V: B
The first reason is that Local M（m）ovies and TV programs are closer to people's lives. It is likely that the scenes in movies or TV programs are just what people have experienced（in) their real lives.  Audiences also seem to be familiar with those characters on the screen, who are just like people around them, such as friends, family, and work associates. For example, my favorite TV shows made in my country is "struggle"  which mainly describes a group of youngsters newly graduating from college triumph over lots of adversities  to  follow their dreams, (这句太长了） and finally achieve what they want.  These stories and characters just arouse an echo in the hearts of almost all teenager audience in my country. Because They are also through the same things. They are striving for their goals. By contrast, those characters in foreign products are mostly high-born from rich families. And they seem to have no such concerns.  Their lives are nothing like （nothing like?）ours, which make foreign TV shows less popular in my country. Thus familiarity first lead people into being more fond of local TV shows or programs than foreign products. 9 i5 H4 h+ d+ u1 Y, I* X) s
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Secondly,  cultural difference may lessen people's interest in foreign products. As is well known(这样说可以吗？具体我也记不清了就觉得是不是少个it啊？), people see the world in（with） their own perspectives, primarily affected by their values. culture, and experiences. Then it is natural that the blockbusters made in foreign countries are less popular than domestic small-budget films. For example,  People in our country always find it difficulty to understand foreign humors or jokes in the Shows.  The typical example is "growing pains" made in United states. Although it is a good work,  audience in our country still do not understand why foreign audiences sitting down there laugh a lot every episode, in contrast with few laughter when we watch this "interesting" comedy.  Actually,  These fun or jokes are only being got by foreigners or people who fit into that environment.  So culture difference is to blame for foreign products' failure to express precisely to local audience what foreigners think is very fun.（这个句子逻辑有点问题） That is why foreign products always can not achieve what they expected.
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What is more, there is possibility people' lack of interest in foreign products is the result of lame translation.  Obviously,  only a few audience are good at foreign language, which at least in my country is true,  so they mainly depend on subtitles. If the translation sucks,  They are not able to get the interesting part at all.
To sum up,  i insist that TV shows and films made in people's own countries are more interesting  as a result of familiarity  and culture difference, regardless that foreign TV shows or films bring local people much different feelings.

很强大~~写的好多啊~~佩服佩服~~句子想表达的都挺好的~就是有些句子不知道是语法逻辑有问题还是难度大~我看的有些困惑~~也不知道该怎么改！总之水平好呀~应该是考过G的吧？？向你学习！！

作者: longxue26 时间: 2010-8-11 15:47:16

From my point of view, i basically agree with the statement above that people show more interest in domestic Movies and TV programs, despite Foreign TV shows and films really have some merits.

Admittedly, foreign Shows and Movies appear to be appealing, as they present different lives and different characters that people have never seen before.  Take TV shows from United states for example.  In the show, people lead luxurious lives.  They always keep track of the latest fashion trend, and are keen on luxury, such as LV bags and fancy sports car.  Also <这里用 On the onther hand貌似更好> they are very frank, and just speak what they want. So These foreign TV programs let me know a lot how life is like in United states, as well as how American are like 这句貌似可以不说. And I am so interested in great difference between two countries,  considering that people in my country are ready to express in an indirect way and chase simple and harmonious lives. 这句也可以不说或者说-- 你对外国的东西也蛮感兴趣,然后接however. However, compared to domestic TV shows and films,  products from other countries are still far from being interesting.
写的很独特  我不敢妄加评论但是想问下为什么这里写这么多的开场白

The first reason is that Local Movies and TV programs are closer to people's lives. It is likely that the scenes in movies or TV programs are just what people have experienced their real lives.  Audiences also seem to be <加上more更好吧>familiar with those characters on the screen, who are just like people around them, such as friends, family, and work associates. For example, my favorite TV shows made in my country is "struggle"  which mainly describes a group of youngsters newly graduating from college triumph over 好词!lots of adversities  to  follow their dreams,  and finally achieve what they want.  These stories and characters just arouse an echo in the hearts of almost all teenager audience in my country. Because They are also through the same things<这句要说经历着同样的事情吗? 那么和后面的这句相联系的话可以合起来省略地说吧-- 因为他们也同样为着自己的目标而奋斗>. They are striving for their goals. By contrast, those characters in foreign products are mostly high-born from rich families. <这个说的有些绝对不过也okay了吧或者你换种说法说环境大不同 concern也个不同>And they seem to have no such concerns.  Their lives are nothing like ours, which make foreign TV shows less popular in my country. Thus familiarity first lead people into being more fond of local TV shows or programs than foreign products.
这段写的很好!

Secondly,  cultural difference may lessen people's interest in foreign products. As is well known, people see the world in<not from吗?> their own perspectives, primarily affected by their values. culture, and experiences. Then it is natural that the blockbusters好词! <就是和后面的成长的烦恼这个例子不太搭配>made in foreign countries are less popular than domestic small-budget films. For example,  People in our country always find it difficulty to understand foreign humors or jokes in the Shows.  The typical example is "growing pains" made in United states. Although it is a good work,  audience in our country still do not understand why foreign audiences sitting down there laugh a lot every episode, in contrast with few laughter when we watch this "interesting" comedy.  Actually,  These fun or jokes are only being got by foreigners or people who fit into that environment.  So culture difference is to blame for <这里好像前后顺序用反了>foreign products' failure to express precisely to local audience what foreigners think is very fun. That is why foreign products always can not achieve what they expected.

What is more, there is possibility people' lack of interest in foreign products is the result of lame 好词!translation.  Obviously,  only a few audience are good at foreign language, which at least in my country is true,  so they mainly depend on subtitles. If the translation sucks,  They are not able to get the interesting part at all.

To sum up,  i insist that TV shows and films made in people's own countries are more interesting  as a result of familiarity  and culture difference, regardless that foreign TV shows or films bring local people much different feelings.

写的很好!!! 就是好长~~~啊.. 呵呵这也不算毛病的就是感慨一下子
我觉得压缩一下也能这么好
佩服下!

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-12 18:56:58

From my point of view, i basically agree with the statement above that people will never succeed unless their merits and achievement are known by the others, in particular, their bosses or influential people. Since people would be appreciated by their leaders through recommendation of their accomplishments and strengths. Besides, Also it is a good way to fulfill personal satisfaction.

The first reason why i am in favor of the contention is that making their merits or accomplishment known by other people is the first step to achieve their success in career.  If people just keep all of their good qualities and accomplishments from their bosses, how could their bosses know what they have got by themselves. With ordinary impression to their bosses, they are probably not given enough space to show what they are capable of, not to mention they accomplish their goals in career. So people should make sure their leaders know about their merits to have an opportunity to make the best of their strength. And if their bosses are interested in their previous accomplishment, there is chance that they are appointed to the same job they took .In other words, a good leader knows well to put a right person into a right position.  If he is aware of what his followers can do, he will give more opportunities to let their followers better work for the company, Then the followers are likely to get successful.  Thus, It is easy to understand why job applicants write resumes with all his merits and all what they have done that they are proud of  to make a good impression, They hope to be appreciated by those interviews to win an opportunity to be successful in future.

Secondly, personal satisfaction, which means success to many people,  is likely to be fulfilled by letting other people know about their upsides and achievements. Mostly,  people are very delighted when they achieve their dreams,  and delightfulness would be strengthened when their accomplishments are seen by more than just themselves.  As human beings are a little emotional.  They will be very happy when their accomplishment or good qualities are valued or appreciated by other people.  Take my personal experience for example, when I was kid,  every time i got a good mark in my test, i was always looking forward to the moment that teacher praiseed me in front of all my classmates. Also I could not help rushing home to tell my parents, in the hope of a praise from my parents.  So it works the same way that adults also need appreciation and praise on their way to successes. Therefore,  ensuring their accomplishments known by the others is a good way to fulfill their personal satisfactions.

To sum up, i insist that people should let their supervisors know about their strengths and accomplishment.  Because people are capable of receiving more chanced to be successful and fulfilling their satisfactions.

作者: kila1002 时间: 2010-8-13 20:39:19

From my point of view, i basically agree with the statement above that people will never succeed unless their merits and achievement are known by the others, in particular, their bosses or influential people. Since people would be appreciated by their leaders through recommendation of their accomplishments and strengths. Besides, Also it is a good way to fulfill personal satisfaction.
6 C7 m. f- u+ k% V7 Z( t: B  N# V
9 O6 q: y, u4 O( I$ E- i/ \The first reason why i am in favor of the contention is that making their merits or accomplishment known by other people is the first step to achieve their success in career.  If people just keep/conceal all of their good qualities and accomplishments from their bosses, how could their bosses know what they have got by themselves? With ordinary impression to their bosses/employers, they are probably not given enough space to show what they are capable of, not to mention they accomplish their goals in career. So people should make sure their leaders know about their merits/advantages to have an opportunity to make the best of their strength. And if their previous accomplishment satisfies bosses, there is a chance that they are appointed to the same job they took .In other words, a good leader knows well to put a right person into a right position.  If he is aware of what his followers can do, he will give more opportunities to make his employees better work harder for the company, then the followers are likely to get successful.  Thus, It is easy to understand why job applicants write resumes with all his merits and all what they have done that they are proud of  to make a good impression, They hope to be appreciated by those interviews to win an opportunity to be successful in future.
4 D- @% c5 |' M
# R% Z8 p. F/ L+ @& K; ZSecondly, personal satisfaction, which means success to many people, is likely to be fulfilled by letting other people know about their upsides and achievements. Mostly, people are very delighted when they achieve their dreams, and delightfulness would be strengthened when their accomplishments are seen by more than just themselves as human beings are a little emotional. Such is human nature that people will be very happy when their accomplishment or good qualities are valued or appreciated by other people.  Take my personal experience for example, when I was a kid, every time I got a good mark in my test, I was always looking forward to the moment that teacher praised me in front of all my classmates. Also I could not help rushing home to tell my parents, in the hope of praise from my parents.  So it works the same way that adults also need appreciation and praise on their way to successes. Therefore, ensuring their accomplishments known by the others is a good way to fulfill their personal satisfactions. k2 h6 F- t/ b' X

0 d- d& I) R4 x1 e: Y9 lTo sum up, i insist that people should let their supervisors know about their strengths and accomplishment.  Because people are capable of receiving more chanced to be successful and fulfilling their satisfactions.

LZ，没有大问题，就是这个四段式的文章很少看见诶。。。。不知道可以伐。。文章很长，有的词汇多用同义词替换掉，不能因为觉得这个是好词就一直用它。

作者: zyxr90 时间: 2010-8-13 21:11:07

8.12 by zyxr90

作者: layla1989 时间: 2010-8-14 16:51:30

改好啦~~不好意思晚了些

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-14 21:04:20

From my point of view, children should make choices by themselves instead of having their parents decide for them. Because every child has the right to make his or her own decision. Besides, children will be independent and responsible in this way.

Firstly. Children’s rights to decisions could not be deprived by the others, including their parents.  Undoubtedly, Children are not parents' toys or pets, but human beings.  They are allowed to do anything they want under the law. making choices of their own is nothing different than any other right of human beings, such as survival, education and faith. Those are their rights and nature. But if their parents force them to give up their rights or deviate from their nature,  It only shows their parent's disrespect and offence. So parents should respect their children by allowing them to make their choices.

Secondly, every parent wishes his children to grow up to be independent and responsible. But it would not be achieved if he always determine their children' future for his children. In this case, children will form a habit that whenever they have a choice to make they just throw it to their parents.  When they grow up and meet with countless choices, they are less likely to know what to do. Because they are relying on their parents too much. However, children benefit a lot if they are allowed to make their own children.  There is a chance that their first few choices are not that good, but it does matter. The point is that children learn through these choices to be responsible for everything they do,  besides those choices they make.  They learn to consider the consequence and to think thoroughly the whole thing instead of rushing to make choices.  More importantly, they are very independent, and are able to make good choices even when their parents are not with them. That is the best thing their parents want to see. As nothing is more important for parents to see their children live independently.

Admittedly, parents should help children when they are not mature enough to make decisions of their own.  After all, many decisions are too important and too complicated for children to make alone. When children are not very sure,  they could turn to their parent who have been though a lot and have a lot of experience they want to share with their children.  It is clearly that their suggestions or experiences would be very helpful when children have choices to make.

To sum up, i insist that people ought to let children to make their own decisions rather than put their choices over their children’s  . And in some cases,  parents

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-14 23:21:15

哈哈，3月是一战，现在二战。。。

作者: canoe03 时间: 2010-8-15 20:33:58

同学什么时候考试啊:)

[attach]149695[/attach]

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-15 21:09:43

8.28啊二战

作者: canoe03 时间: 2010-8-16 21:17:39

我也是8.28，东南大学江宁校区。握个爪，:handshake，祝福一个！

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-17 07:45:26

哈哈，我8.28扬州大学。。:handshake

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-17 20:19:21

From my point of view,  telephone has more positive effects than television does.  Since telephone greatly influences the way people live and work, while television just serves the recreational purpose.  Compared with television's limited effects, telephone means a great deal more to human beings.

First of all,  the advent of telephone ends the era that people communicate with each other by letter, who at the same time were so sick of mail’s  inefficiency .  Before the telephone was invented,  people only turned to mail to keep in touch with their relations or friends living in other places. But it was a very long and anxious process.  People not only took the trouble to send the letter to the post in person, but also needed to wait a long time for reply. As is well known,  people used to spend more than one year expecting a letter from foreign country. however, With the aid of telephone,  people are able to communicate with their friends instantly as long as they both have accesses to the phone.  Communication via telephone is much more convenient and easy. For example,  one of my cousins is studying in the United states. And she uses the telephone to contact with her parents every week to let them know how everything is going there.  But what if she is only able to communicate by letter, her parents must be anxious without hearing anything from her for several weeks.

Also, it brings much convenience to people' work. people can communicate with their clients without moving.  It saves them a lot of time and money. For instance,  two hundred years ago, if a businessman want to have a deal with his client living in other city,  he has to go to see him in person because letter is not clear and formal. Then he has to spend several days on a business tour, and pay much money for transportation and accommodation. But, with the aid of telephone, he can talk to his client straightforwardly, and discuss every detail very clearly, which look like they are discussing face to face.  And the deal would be done in several hours or less.  So people benefit a lot form telephone when they work.

Admittedly,  Television is a good way to relax.  when people are stressed and tired from work, they need to find some ways to relax. Watching television is a good choice.  All kinds of interesting programs are available such as talk show, soap opera, and basketball match.  People can pick out their favorite ones to enjoy with their family.  When men throw themselves into  football match or women immerse themselves into soap opera, it seems like all the fatigues and troubles are gone immediately.  But television' s effect is limited to recreational area, which makes it less important than telephone.

To sum up,  human beings are more influenced by telephone,  as upsides of telephone are more than those of television.

作者: dy008 时间: 2010-8-17 22:17:59

828，扬州大学too......
我是一战，听力已经悲剧了，这次只能当做昂贵滴模考了.....

作者: matlab007 时间: 2010-8-17 23:11:43

对不起。传上来的有点晚。

作者: lxg198607 时间: 2010-8-18 12:06:11

哦。你也是江苏的吗？

作者: cairen1986 时间: 2010-8-18 19:46:08

8.17 作文修改啊

From my point of view,  telephone has more positive effects than television does.  Since telephone greatly influences the way people live and work, while television just serves as the recreational purpose.  Compared with television's （limited）finite effects, telephone means a great deal more to human beings. + [* @" O5 I4 _- X7 W/ s
% O( q# \7 x2 n6 ^* ?) t) N- d2 W
First of all,  the advent of telephone ends the era that people communicate with each other by letter, who at the same time（这句语序有点不对) were so sick of mail’s  inefficiency .  Before the telephone was invented,  people only turned to mail to keep in touch with their relations or friends living in other places. But it was a very long and anxious process.  People not only(位置不对，放到句首，再到装) took the trouble to send the letter to the post in person, but also needed to wait a long time for reply. As is well known,  people used to spend more than one year expecting a letter from foreign country. however, With the aid of telephone,  people are able to communicate with their friends instantly as long as they both have accesses to the phone.  Communication via telephone is much more convenient and easy. For example,  one of my cousins is studying in the United states. And she uses the telephone to contact with her parents every week to let them know how everything is going there.  But what if she is only able to communicate by letter, her parents must be anxious without hearing anything from her for several weeks.; i% A8 O4 f4 _# M+ L; |4 Z

Also, it brings much convenience to people' work.（貌似没有说完，要加一个宾语说清楚啊）   people can communicate with their clients without moving.  It saves them a lot of time and money. For instance,  two hundred years ago, if a businessman want to have a deal with his client living in other city,  he has to go to see him in person because letter is not clear and formal. Then he has to spend several days on a business tour, and pay much money for transportation and accommodation. But, with the aid of telephone, he can talk to his client straightforwardly, and discuss every detail very clearly, which look like they are discussing face to face.（时态有误）  And the deal would be done in several hours or less.  So people benefit a lot form telephone when they work. . g8 Y  d3 w, n. }6 X
, B  z, x* N. M) }, E2 m( ~. E- B9 z5 h
Admittedly,  Television is a good way to relax.  when people are stressed and tired from work, they need to find some ways to relax. Watching television is a good choice.  All kinds of interesting programs are available such as talk show, soap opera, and basketball match.  People can pick out their favorite ones to enjoy with their family.  When men throw themselves into  football match or women immerse themselves into soap opera, it seems like all the fatigues and troubles are gone immediately.  But television' s effect is limited to recreational area, which makes it less important than telephone. + J( ?5 W3 t3 J
9 {2 ^; F3 a6 f0 F
To sum up,  human beings are more influenced by telephone,  as upsides of telephone are more than those of television.（最有一段，多说几句）

总体来说，写的内容还行，时态注意一下，同时注意把话说完，

作者: liuxiaoyin 时间: 2010-8-18 23:40:10

评的有点晚，抱歉哈

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