寄托家园留学论坛

标题: LittleKuo的写作贴 [打印本页]

---

作者: littlekuo    时间: 2010-7-27 15:31:23     标题: LittleKuo的写作贴



According to recent statistic on the internet, the number of people who will reference the advertisement to help them to determine which to buy occupies 65 percent of all the people, and undoubtedly has the tendency of increasing. It follows that people will pay more attention to the advertisement, and this is where the controversy arises. Some assert that advertising is the most important factor to cultivate unhealthy eating habits. Meanwhile, those who are strongly disagree with it cite that there are some other factors more influential than the advertisement. From my perspective, the latter one is more favorable.

First of all, our parents or some others persons around us may determine whether we can cultivate the unhealthy eating habits. According to the quote of Luanshuo, a famous Chinese social scholar, “Parents are the first teachers of us”. Especially for the children who are relatively younger, they do not have the ability to distinguish whether the behaviors of their parents are right. They would simply imitate them, and then after long time they could form a habit. The instance is nor isolated, it is one of many examples, my friend Victor who is very fat. When he was 6 years old,it was about 9 o’clock evening he watched the television with his father. Then his father felt hungry and bought some potato chips and hamburgers to eat with Victor. How unhealthy that at late of the night eating so much fired food. From that day, Victor develop a habit to eat something at night no matter how late it is. That is the mainly reason to cause him so fat.

In addition, another important factor that cannot be ignored is our own life experience, which is accumulated since the day we were born, and some essential knowledge. If we can find the drawbacks behind the merits that are acclaimed in the commercial advertising behaviors, we could not be directed by most the advertisement. For example, in case that we know that although the popcorn made for the ovens are very convenient,it contains too much fat and sugar.  If we eat excess of them, we might get diabete or obesity. After know that, we will not easily believe in the advertisement and eat them as little as possible. After all whether to buy and eat it  finally is all attributed your own decisions.

However, we cannot leave out that the adverting has some certain effect to develop the unhealthy eating habits. Nowadays, there are so many commercial holes hidden in the advertisements that we cannot resist the temptation. In order to make the maximum profits, some merchants add the colorful pictures and wonderful effects in their advertisement to entice customers.

In conclusion, I think although the advertising has some certain influences to cultivate unhealthy eating habits, most impacts exerted by the so many other factors. If our parents or people around us could form good examples for us and we have acquired enough life experience and knowledge, we will not develop the not healthy eating customs and have strong bodies to enjoy wonderful lives.

---

作者: wangruitong24    时间: 2010-7-28 10:11:14

提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽

---

作者: 高小鱼    时间: 2010-7-28 14:29:36

我提的意见比较多一点，供参考哈，嘿嘿（附件以修订标记修改）~

---

作者: littlekuo    时间: 2010-7-28 15:49:59

语言水平你比我高出太多,没什么可评价的.就是觉得第一和第二个论点有些重复.如果在考场上能写出这种作文那我们只能膜拜你了
wangruitong24 发表于 2010-7-28 10:11

没有那么夸张吧，可是我总觉得我每次举例论证之后，例子是有了，但是缺乏根据例子所能得出来得结论，也就是缺乏所谓得“自圆其说”，但是我又不知道应该怎样表达说些什么。

---

作者: littlekuo    时间: 2010-7-28 15:50:46



3# 高小鱼
受益匪浅，由其是第四段，我感觉自己前面只是紧紧做了转折，转折之后要表达得东西就压根没说，真是不知道自己当初是怎么写的了，谢谢你了，改的这么认真，真事麻烦了:handshake

---

作者: littlekuo    时间: 2010-7-29 17:03:10



7月29日，我在挤牙膏～～不好意思，由于我是新人，所以暂且没有权限上传附件。

With the development of modern society, the competition people confront will become more and more intense. At this time, a job that fits us plays a more essential role in the daily life, and this is where the controversy arises. Some assert that it is great benefit for young people attempt some distinct jobs until they take a long term career. Meanwhile, those who are strongly opposed is cite that the young ones had better determine their own career at once. From my own perspective, the former one is more favorable.

First of all, the process of trying different jobs offer us not only the chance to accumulate more abundant knowledge, but also make career preparations. As young person, we have enough time and energy to enjoy the chance which it brought for us.  For  instance, if we are travelers, we would have the opportunity to do physical exercise to make our bodies strong. The more stronger our bodies are, the huger pressure we can face later. After we transfer to musicians, we could learn something about rhythm which can teach us how to balance complicated situation. And alson music is a worldwide language without any translation, we can share our emotions with different people around the world. If we are scientists and make a breakthrough in some areas, we would acquire the sense of achievement and build confidence. With all the above virtues we learn combined, we have made a thorough preparation for the final long term career and can solve all kinds of puzzles we may face flexibly.

In addition, another reason that cannot be ignored is that as we change various kinds of jobs, we could make more friends in distinct areas. So many friends do we have that we can learn some merits from them to improve us. Last year, my friend Victor worked as a photographer in a newspaper office. One time he went out to interview someone, he made a friend called Tom who did fish in Japan. Even though Tom came across a lot of difficulties and came back without a single fish, he was optimistic and still hold the hope. Then Victor asked him how can keep pleasure even though face so many hardnesses. Tom just told him”Never give up and the final success will come right after last try”. From then on, Victor stuck on that wisdom all the time. Now he works at a highly competitive computer technology company, no matter how enormous difficulties he will face, he will not give away and insist on to the final success. For most of us, the friends we meet like a mirror reflect the virtues deserved all of us to learn and they are also helper who can lift us to new heights .

However, although the advantages that trying distinct jobs before we arrive the final career results in are considerable, we cannot deny that focusing on a single job has some slight advantages.The longer we stay in one job, the deeper we will comprehend this area, and it is good to ourselves personal promotion. Insisting on one job, we can enjoy a stable daily life.

In conclusion, I think that although stuck on just a job has some advantages, more impacts exerted by the forward pace of achieving personal spiritual improvement. Trying various jobs for us means the process of obtaining new experience and knowledge to make preparation for the final career, as well as make more friends.

---

作者: serena-blue    时间: 2010-7-30 09:15:13

With the development of modern society, the competition people confront will become more and more intense. At this time, a job that fits us plays a more essential role in the daily life, and this is where the controversy arises. Some assert that it is great benefit for young people attempt some distinct(用different比较好吧） jobs until they take a long term career. Meanwhile, those who are strongly opposed is （删除）cite that the young ones had better determine their own career at once. From my own perspective, the former one is more favorable.

  H: `( o4 \' m
2 R8 y( u" l& Z& G4 l! `1 r5 z3 l
First of all, the process of trying different jobs offer（s) us not only the chance to accumulate more abundant knowledge, but also(to) make career preparations. As young person（people), we have enough time and energy to enjoy the chance which it brought for us.  For  instance, if we are travelers, we would have the opportunity to do physical exercise to make our bodies strong. The more stronger our bodies are, the huger pressure we can face later. After we transfer to musicians, we could learn something about rhythm which can teach us how to balance complicated situation（s）. And alson music is a worldwide language without any translation, we can share our emotions with different people around the world. If we are scientists and make a breakthrough in some areas, we would acquire the sense of achievement and build confidence. With all the above virtues we learn combined, we have made a thorough preparation for the final long term career and can solve all kinds of puzzles（solve puzzles and problems of various kinds) we may face flexibly(吧flexibly提到solve后面，不然与修饰的动词隔得太远了）.

In addition, another reason that cannot be ignored is that as we change various kinds of jobs, we could make more friends in distinct areas. So many friends do we have（这个句式我不确定是否正确） that we can learn some merits from them to improve us. Last year, my friend Victor worked as a photographer in a newspaper office. One time he went out to interview someone, he made a friend called Tom who did fish in Japan. Even though Tom came across a lot of difficulties and came back without a single fish, he was optimistic and still hold（held) the hope. Then Victor asked him how can(could) keep pleasure(keep a relaxed mood) even though face(facing) so many hardnesses(一般翻译成硬度）. Tom just told him”Never give up and the final success will come right after last try”. From then on, Victor stuck on（to） that wisdom all the time. Now he works at a highly competitive computer technology company, no matter how enormous difficulties he will face, he will not give away and（will） insist on to the final success. For most of us, the friends we meet like a mirror reflect the virtues deserved（deserve后面一般直接加名词） all of us to learn and they are also helper（意思为助手） who can lift us to new heights .

4 e) O/ [0 Q% @2 j2 J+ N4 g" e) K
However, although the advantages that trying distinct jobs before we arrive （to)the final career results in are considerable, we cannot deny that focusing on a single job has some slight advantages.The longer we stay in one job, the deeper we will comprehend this area, and it is good to ourselves personal promotion. Insisting on one job, we can enjoy a stable daily life.& k" G9 k' K& U6 W/
H; }
& D+ P4 T5 ^3 J) Y5 o7 C' j7 ^
In conclusion, I think that although stuck(为什么要用过去分词） on just a job has some advantages, more impacts exerted by the forward pace of achieving personal spiritual improvement.（作者想表达什么意思呢） Trying various jobs for us means the process of obtaining new experience and knowledge to make preparation for the final career, as well as make（making) more friends.
作者的论证结构很清晰，木有什么大的问题。就是第一个例子，感觉举得不是很恰当。
修改有误，请多多关照哦。。。

---

作者: littlekuo    时间: 2010-7-31 16:43:11

7月31日，写的稍微比以前快一点了，但是不知道质量如何，欢迎大牛们狠狠拍砖～～

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspaper and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country.

With the development of modern society, the requirement of information will become more and more huge. At this time, there is a increasing number of people want to understand a foreign country, and this is where the controversy aries. Some assert that newspaper and magazines are the best approaches to learn the country we interested. Meanwhile, those who are strongly opposed to it cite that there are many other more excellent ways than newspaper and magazines. For my own perspective, the latter one is more favorable.

First of all, computers plays a more essential role in our daily life, at the same time it can provide us a convient and fast platform to deeply interpret other country. So many search engines, such as Google, Yahoo and Baidu, flourish in the Internet that can fullfil our requirement quickly. It takes us just a few seconds to get the things we want. The medium of the Internet that constructed by computers offers all of us an access to a giant library. So that sometimes we could not go to the library any more, with the time saved, we can do other things whatever we like. Also if our friends found something important about the country we would like to learn, all they have to do is just press the “send” button on the computers to send emails to us. By emails, we are able to share the material with other people and talk about with them. The more frequently we talk to others, the more the knowledge about the country we will accumulate.

In addition, the another important reason that cannot be ignored is that as various advanced mobile phones appear nowadays, they also can offer us a means to acquire the knowledge about the foreign country wherever and whenever. Even though the public transportation are very sound, but it cannot solve the problems of we spend too much time on the roads, which leads us have not enough time to learn. Because of the small size of cell phones, we can put them in our bag or pockets. By mobile phones, we could surf on the Internet when we are taking subways and buses without any limits. The advanced technique have made it is almost no different experience of scanning the webs between on computers and cell phones, such as iphones or some kinds of PPC.

However, though the advantages that using other ways like computers and mobile phones to comprehend other counties results in are considerable, we should not deny that the traditional ways that newspapers and magazines provide have some slight merits.  After all, it is better for our health,especial for eyes, to see the papers than to see the screen. And then when we reading newspapers we can write something down at the same time, which enhances us to remember it.

In conclusion, I think although the traditional ways have certain minor advantages, most of the exerted by the forward pace of requirement of a muti-information society. With computers and mobile phones, we could acquire a efficient approach to get information about the foreign county as soon as possible in anywhere no matter in any places.

---

作者: 高小鱼    时间: 2010-7-31 23:10:00

littleguo, 很抱歉这几天太忙了，你729的作文我还没有帮忙批，明天中午左右会改了放上来，造成不便实在抱歉...

---

作者: 高小鱼    时间: 2010-8-1 12:49:07

727作业修改意见，by高小鱼~

---

作者: Arant    时间: 2010-8-1 13:51:15

你好,31号我也改好了...因为我没办法传附件...所以放在115

http://u.115.com/file/f178296697

---

作者: 白菜学英语    时间: 2010-8-1 21:20:51



With the development of modern society, therequirement of information will become more and more huge(requirement越来越huge..感觉说法有点怪诶…直接删掉huge好了).At this time, there is an increasing number of people want to understanda foreign country, and this is where the controversy arises(拼写和主谓一致).Some assert that newspaper and magazines are the best approaches to learn thecountry we interested. Meanwhile, those who are strongly opposed to it citethat there are many other more excellent ways than newspaper and magazines. Formy own perspective, the latter one is more favorable." C$ O: O#j" w) y

First of all, computers plays a more essential role in our daily life, at thesame time it can provide us a convenient and fast platform todeeply interpret(印象中interpret蛮少用”理解”的意思?)othercountry. So many search engines, such as Google, Yahoo and Baidu, flourish inthe Internet that can fulfill our requirement quickly.It takes us just a few seconds to get the things we want. The medium ofthe Internet that constructed by computers offers all of us an access to agiant librarysothat sometimes we could(could 我们不能再去图书馆了==?)not go to the library any more.(感觉这句话的逻辑是和上一句连在一起的)Withthe time saved, we can do other things whatever we like. Also if our friendsfound something important about the country we would like to learn, all theyhave to do is just press the “send” button on the computers to send emails tous. By emails, we are able to share the material with other people and talk aboutwith them. The more frequently(感觉不用这个frequently也行,似乎读起来也更顺溜)we talk to others, the more the knowledge about the country we will(应该前后时态一致?)accumulate.

In addition, the another important reason that cannot be ignored is that asvarious advanced mobile phones appear nowadays, they also can offer us a meansto acquire the knowledge about the foreign country wherever and whenever.Even thoughthe public transportation are very sound, but itcannot solve the problems of we spend too much time on the roads, which leadsus have not enough time to learn.(even though 和 but不能放在一起用啊~话说感觉这句话的逻辑有点太跳跃了,可以就说因为我们在交通上花的时间太多了,所以我们可以用手机来killthe time. 再blablabla说下去.)Because of the small size of cell phones, we can put them in our bag orpockets. By mobile phones, we could surf on the Internet when we are takingsubways and buses without any limits. The advanced technique have made it isalmost no different experience of scanning the webs between on computers andcell phones, such as iphones or some kinds of PPC.
9C; X1 a3 [" K: v; X  h3 k+ G* o
However, though the advantages that using other ways like computers and mobilephones to comprehend other countries results in areconsiderable, we should not deny that the traditional ways that newspapers andmagazines provide have some slight merits.  After all, it is betterfor our health, especially for eyes, to lookatthe papersinstead of screen.And then when we reading newspapers we can write something down at the sametime, which enhances(增强我们去记住它==感觉不是很妥当,用”帮助”例如help,assist)usto remember it.
)X0 d& j* o# o8 n/ E0 `
In conclusion, I think although the traditional ways have certain minoradvantages, most of the exerted by the forward pace of requirement of a multi-informationsociety. With computers and mobile phones, we could acquire anefficient approach to get information about the foreign countryas soon as possible in anywhere no matter in any places.(这个两个的意思重复了…)





我的个人意见   感觉..有一点跑题了.但是不太确定啊= = 第二段举的例子有点偏..好在最后一句话拉回来了,但是我觉得the more ... the more那句话在逻辑上是不太经得起推敲的.
当然是我个人的意见啊~可能有说的不恰当的地方.多多包涵啊~^^

---

作者: 白菜学英语    时间: 2010-8-1 21:24:15

With the development of modern society, therequirement of information will become more and more huge(requirement越来越huge..感觉说法有点怪诶…直接删掉huge好了).At this time, there is an increasing num ...
白菜学英语 发表于 2010-8-1 21:20

貌似发成帖子颜色就没了 为什么捏  你还是下载附件吧~ 终于可以上传附件了 内牛满面啊

---

作者: littlekuo    时间: 2010-8-3 16:34:42

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

With the development of modern society, the competition people confront will become more and more intense. At this time, choosing a excellent job that suits us plays a more essential roles in our life, and this is where the controversy arises. Some assert that it is great benefit to choose a job with more vacation time but lower salary. Meanwhile, those who are strongly opposed to them cite that a job with a high salary and less vacation time is better than the opposite one. For my own perspective, the former one is more favorable.

The first reason I want to put forward is that a job with more leisure time means that we have more time to do something we like, which could lift ourselves to a new height. We could travel to some place we have never been to. In the process of traveling, what we acquire is not only the fresh air and abundant knowledge, but also the chance to embrace the nature and to accumulate knowledge. For example, if we go to the cities with historical significance such as Xi An or Beijing. The ancient buildings record the history path to tell us the legends of our ancestors, especially good for our young people to get familiar with our past. When we are facing our past, what we must do is to absorb the essence and discard the dregs. If we listen to the music, we can learn something about rhythm, which can teach us how to balance complicated situation and learn to appreciate art. With the opportunity to do these things in the areas rather than working, the knowledge we acquire and experience we increase would improve us.

The second reason I would like to prove the significance of having a job with more vocation time but lower salary is that with the leisure time, we can build a closer connection with family members, especially between parents and children. As is know to all, generation gap has become such a sever problem within almost every family, which undoubtedly will lead to the frequent misunderstanding of parents and children, hurting each other’s feeling. But if adults have more time to stay with their children, they could play video games or see films together and talk about the feeling towards these things. Most importantly, they will later switch to various topics and have an unbelievably nice chat. In this way, the gap between them is to be narrowed, which will surely result in a harmonious atmosphere within families and a closer relationship among family members. This is what both parents and desire most.

However, although the merits for choosing a job with more leisure time and less salary results in are considerable, we cannot deny that the opposite kind of jobs have some slight advantages. With more income, we could send our children to study in abroad that make them enjoy advanced education. We also can buy a car or a big house to facility our life, but all these things are based on the plenty of money.

In conclusion, I think that although having a job with more money but less time has certain advantages, more impacts exerted by the forward pace of the requirement of personal improvement and harmonious relationship. If we have more time, we could learn more knowledge and narrow the generation gap that the money cannot fulfill them.

---

作者: canoe03    时间: 2010-8-5 01:01:07

Withthe development of modern society, the competition people confront will become(arebecoming) more and more intense. At this time, choosing a(an)excellent job that suits us plays a more essential roles in our life, and thisis where the controversy arises. Some assert that it is great benefit to choosea job with more vacation time but lower salary. Meanwhile, those who are stronglyopposed(此处应该是主动语态吧) to them cite that a job with a high salary and lessvacation time is better than the opposite one. For my own perspective, theformer one is more favorable.

Thefirst reason I want to put forward is that a job with more leisure time meansthat we have more time to do something we like, which could lift ourselves to anew height. We could travel to some place we have never been to. In the processof traveling, what we acquire is not only the fresh air and abundant knowledge,but also the chance to embrace the nature and to accumulate knowledge(和前面Knowledge重复了). For example, if we goto the cities with historical significance such as Xi An or Beijing. The ancient buildings record thehistory path to tell us the legends of our ancestors, especially good for ouryoung people to get(be) familiar with ourpast. When we are facing our past, what we must do is to absorb the essence anddiscard the dregs. If we listen to the music, we can learn something aboutrhythm, which can teach us how to balance complicated situation and learn toappreciate art(和本文主题不大相关). With the opportunity todo these things in the areas rather than working, the knowledge we acquire andexperience we increase would improve us.

Thesecond reason I would like to prove the significance of having a job with morevocation time but lower salary is that with the leisure time, we can build acloser connection with family members, especially between parents and children.As is know to all, generation gap has become such a sever problem within almostevery family, which undoubtedly will lead to the frequent misunderstanding ofparents and children, hurting each other’s feeling. But if adults have moretime to stay with their children, they could play video games or see(watch)films together and talk about the feeling towards these things(句子太长了). Most importantly, theywill later switch to various topics and have an unbelievably nice chat. In thisway, the gap between them is to be narrowed, which will surely result in aharmonious atmosphere within families and a closer relationship among familymembers. This is what both parents and desire most.

However,although the merits for choosing a job with more leisure time and less salaryresults in are considerable, we cannot deny that the opposite kind of jobs have(has)some slight advantages. With more income, we could send our children to studyin abroad that make them enjoy advanced education. We also can buy a car or abig house to facility our life, but all these things are based on the plenty ofmoney.

Inconclusion, I think that although having a job with more money but less timehas certain advantages, more impacts exerted by the forward pace of therequirement of personal improvement and harmonious relationship. If we havemore time, we could learn more knowledge and narrow the generation gap that themoney cannot fulfill them.

作文条例很清晰。字数有点多，有些语法错误。还有一个就是句子太长了，有时未免会顾此失彼。

---

作者: littlekuo    时间: 2010-8-5 16:24:01

8月5日


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

With the development of modern society, the requirement of education will become more and more huge. At this time, teenage education plays a more essential role in our daily life, and this is where the controversy arises. Some assert that it is great benefit for the children who are five to ten study various subjects, like art and music in addition to math, science, history and language. Meanwhile, those who are strongly opposed to it cite that it is not necessary for these children to study so many things. From my own perspective, the former one is more favorable.

The first reason I want to put forward is that learning art and music could provide the younger school children a healthy approach to relax themselves and learn something that other subjects can not offer them. Nowadays, so many children consider TV and computer as a way to relax themselves. But there are a lot of criminal and violent scenes are floored with TV and internet, children may imitate the actions and put them into use, which is not healthy for them. What is more, listening to the music they can learn something about rhythm, which can teach them balance complicated situation. Drawing pictures could bring them into a colorful world, which could make them feel fresh and have a greater efficiency. So the process of learning art and music can ensure the children growing up healthy, that is what all the parents desire most.

The second reason to prove the significance of studying art and music is that the more classes the children take, the more friends they will have. When they take the art or music courses, they may have classmates from different background, they can learn how to get along with them and then improve their social skills. Further more, if they study the march music for instance, they could acquire the team work spirit, how to cooperate with others and tolerate and make compromises. The friends like a mirror reflect their disadvantages and help them learn more, since when they are alone, they may not know why they are wrong and what they do not know. Then, all these things will help the children improve themselves.

However, although the merits for taking the art and music classes enjoy results in are considerable, we cannot ignore the fact that with time these children spend on studying, they will have less time to amuse and face heavier pressure. In my opinion, a pure childhood should not include so much pressure compared with adulthood, especially for the younger school children,their childhood should be full of games or other things like this. If they enjoy a good daily times now, they can form a wonderful memory after they grow up.

In conclusion, I think that although with more leisure time for the children not taking the art and music classes has certain advantages, more impacts exerted by the forward pace of the requirement of a good habit and personal promotion. By studying art and music, the children will enjoy a good life.

---

作者: matlab007    时间: 2010-8-6 20:16:03

8.5-comment by matlab

add oil la XD

---

作者: yezi2010    时间: 2010-8-7 11:24:53

文章已改好，一起加油~

---

作者: littlekuo    时间: 2010-8-7 17:12:46

8月7日作业，不拍不成材～为啥我写的总是那么慢～～！

---

作者: venusmiya    时间: 2010-8-8 00:21:37

悲催死了，还不够格传附件，只能QQ邮箱给你吧。
多担待哦~

---

作者: even0828    时间: 2010-8-9 14:50:18

With the development of modern society, the competition we will confront will become more and more intense. At this time, studying in universities plays a more essential role in our daily life, and this is where the controversy arises. Some assert that it is a great benefit for students to take part-time jobs. Meanwhile, those who are strongly opposed to it cite that it is not necessary for them to take part-time jobs. As my own perpective, the former one is more favorable. （assert,cite用的不错，favorable本来就有比较的意思，不用比较级）

The first reason I want to put forward is that in the process of taking part-time jobs, the college students can accumulate work experience, which will help them when they graduate and hunt for jobs（with their future job-hunting after graduation）. Citing myself for example, I have tried various part-time jobs such as being a library assistant, a salesman, or a city volunteer and so on since entered the university. When I was a library assistant, I learnt the patient attitude. As a salesman, I acquired the skill of how to communicate with others and recognized the importance of keeping optimistic no matter face with how huge difficulties(no matter how huge dificulties i am facing). And then, as a city volunteer, I could put my English fully into use and enjoy the sense of achievement brought by the smiles on others’ faces(others’ smile, 微笑也只能在脸上吧，简练些). I feel that all these experience will have positive effect on me
after I graduate.

The second reason to prove the significance of taking part-time jobs when we are university students is that we could improve the social skills. Since meeting with（删） different people come from distinct(个人觉得diverse好些) background, we can learn how to get along with each other and enrich the(our) communicating techniques(skills). If we undertake a team project, we are able to cultivate the team work spirit, cooperating with and tolerating others, and
at the same time making compromises. The more frequently we communicate with others, the more harmonious atmosphere we will have. After all, almost all kinds of occupations have to face the society, so it is important for us to increase these skills now in order to work flexibly in the future.(这句话很chinglish, 我会写成after all, almost all kinds of occupations require us a good communicaiton with the society,....)

Admittedly, although the merits for taking some part-time jobs results in are considerable, we cannot ignore the fact that it would disturb our studying to some extent. After all, with the time we spend on working increased, it must reduce our studying time. Furthermore, some part-time jobs such as cafeteria waiters need us to work at night, which means we have to go to sleep very late,
due to which
we cannot have an efficiency on next day studying. However, I hold(insist)
that though taking the part-time jobs has certain disadvantages, more impacts exerted by the forward pace of the requirement of future jobs preparation.(I insist that taking part-time jobs has more positive impacts on universtiy students’ job preparation inspite of some disadvantages)

To sum up, from what has been discussed discussed above, we could safely draw the conclusion that students should take some part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

---

作者: venusmiya    时间: 2010-8-10 14:20:15

不知道为啥没改我的作文，也没见你在出现过了
不过你的我改好了。捱到今天终于能加附件了，还是给你好了

---

作者: littlekuo    时间: 2010-8-10 16:53:23

8月10日作业，大家使劲拍，不打不成材～～！！

---

作者: jywbaby    时间: 2010-8-11 10:51:40

23# littlekuo
不好意思 我还没有传附件的权限 你有邮箱么 我发给你~

---

作者: 逍遥猫    时间: 2010-8-11 11:34:38

大家一起努力加油

---

作者: littlekuo    时间: 2010-8-11 16:30:33

24# jywbaby
349209281@qq.com
呵呵，麻烦了，谢谢

---

作者: zhuminhappyrose    时间: 2010-8-12 08:29:07

嗯，改好了~呵呵~

---

作者: zhuminhappyrose    时间: 2010-8-12 17:33:43

楼主，我的作文你什么时候给看啊~~？？？

---

欢迎光临 寄托家园留学论坛 (https://bbs.gter.net/)

Powered by Discuz! X2