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标题: crystal5841的作文贴 [打印本页]

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-7-27 22:57:46 标题: crystal5841的作文贴

刚开始写。用了两个小时，完全没有思路。医学学习已经禁锢了我的思维了。所以已经没有brainstorm了。:mad:
Do you agree or disagree:
Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits

Obviously, innumerable advertisements, which are broadcasting on every corner of the world, such as on daily newspapers, vogue magazines, and street billboards, exert considerable influence on people's life and under some circumstances, mislead the eating habit. However, it is not completely true to say that

It is undeniable that advertising indeed induce people to eat unhealthy food and have erratic meals. Captivated by the inviting images of fast food, which is contains high calories and low vitamins, the adolescents, especial those who are still scanty of the ability to differentiate right from wrong, haunt the KFC, or Mcdonale everyday and eventually suffer from obesity and malnutrition. Moreover, recently, the KFC advances the slogan of 24 hours opening, which provides a expedient excuse for those who do not want to have super on time, because they can order food on midnight. While according to a latest research paper on the Science, having food on midnight will increase the risk of gastric cancer, because the stomach can get enough time to rest.

Advertising may, nevertheless, help foster more healthy eating habit than before. Many parents, who are concerned about their children's dislike of meals, learn a lot from the advertisement about essential nutrients, such as iron, and then remember to prepare certain dishes that are copious of iron. I am also benefit a lot from advertisement. The pills, which are propagated to be instrumental to sleep, release me from the nightmare, which is originated from my intense pressure from the approaching TOEFL test.

In addition, there are also many other factors that lead to the unhealthy eating habit. People nowadays have very little time for anything, even for eating. People have to work overtime, on the expense of meals latter. Husband, whose wife is working overtime, stuffs himself with a piece of bread and a bottle of beer, and then spare much time to watch the exciting World Cup and champion and acclaim his favorite football star. A child, whose parents are working overtime, will go to KFC for his supper.

Judging from what has been discussed above, the saying that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits, is evidently wrong.

作者: jjooyy 时间: 2010-7-28 10:52:59

1# crystal5841

It is undeniable that advertising indeed induce people to eat unhealthy food and have erratic meals. Captivated by the inviting images of fast food, which is contains high calories and low vitamins, the adolescents, especially those who are still scanty of the ability to differentiate right from wrong, haunt the KFC, or Mcdonale(McDonale's) everyday and eventually suffer from obesity and malnutrition. Moreover, recently, the KFC advances the slogan(有点怪，去掉slogan,其实麦当劳早就24小时了的，KFC还慢了) of 24 hours opening, which provides an expedient excuse（两个词的搭配。。） for those who do not want to have supper on time, because they can order food on midnight. While according to a latest research paper on the Science, having food on（at） midnight will increase the risk of gastric cancer, because the stomach cannot get enough time to rest.

In addition, there are also many other factors that lead to the unhealthy eating habit. People nowadays have very little time for anything, even for eating. People have to work overtime, on（at） the expense of meals latter（latter是后者的意思）. Husband（单数或者复数，不能这样一个词啊）, whose wife is working overtime, stuffs himself with a piece of bread and a bottle of beer, and then spares much time to watch the exciting World Cup and champion（这个是指比赛还是什么？） and acclaim his favorite football star. A child, whose parents are working overtime, will go to KFC for his supper.1 F+ _+ @, ]7 D

Judging from what has been discussed above, the saying that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits, is evidently wrong.太概括，应重述前面几段的的观点

词汇是亮点，但语法是弱点。红色为错误，绿色为精彩，蓝色为建议

部分长句写的不错，有些短语也不错，但需要注意是否需要写那么长。

The pills, which are propagated to be instrumental to sleep, 可以把propagated to be 去掉，并且 propagated的用法似乎不太对

我了解lz过了GRE，而且能运用，但部分词汇并不深刻了解如何用，如expedient,有空多查字典吧，不要知道中文意思就套进去了

加油！！

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-7-28 13:00:35

多谢Light童鞋的批改~~~ 相对而言，我对你的作文的批改实在是写的太少了，抱歉，我是新人~~~
PS：我没有考G

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-7-28 22:51:17

The best way to improve the quality of education is to imcrease teachers' salaries'."

Education stands for a promising future for one nation. On the longtime process of elevate the quality of education, how many governments focus on teachers’ wages rather than other equivalent, or more important factors in the facet of promoting the people to receive a better education? Although modest increase in the salary will work to certain extent, actually most of educational institutions do not attach most importance on it. Why does this happen?

The main reason might involve the internal incentive that drives people to choose being a teacher as their vocational option. It’s the responsibility of imparting the cream of world culture and technology rather than the pursuit of a handsomely-paid job that qualifies a person for exemplary teacher. The intense sense of devotion to pass down knowledge to the next generation is also the prerequisite when people apply for the position of teacher. Seldom do people choose the job of teacher, if they maintain money-oriented vocation policy, because no only do various jobs, such as doctors and lawyers, provide decent salaried, but also a prospective work outlook. In short, it’s not money that teachers struggle for as their life goal. Hence, improving the wages is not the primary momentum for a better education condition.

More importantly, student-centered education is the rudimentary essence for educational system. It is the comprehensively developed students who are brought up in the school and armed with advanced science, that drastically increase the industrial productivity in every aspects of society and provide a light future for a nation, which is the main aim for the improving the quality of education. Governments should allocate more money and put more notice on the exertion wiping out illiteracy and afford universal access for children to receive education, such as decreasing tuition fees, which is till a obstacle that hinder many children from entering school in certain remote and poor towns. More school expenditure should be spent on the improvement on the education facilities, which is evidently scanty, even in most famous university. It’s estimated that one of four students in china has no opportunity to sit in a spacious classroom to study. From this point of view, the improving the quality of education rely on providing more children chance to receive education and receive a better education.

However, is the increasing of teachers’ salaries meaningless to education? Certainly not. Clean detaching money from the job of teacher is definitely disjointed with practice. Who will devote to the project of carry forward human soul wholeheartedly, even when he or she is in the lower social-economic group? Modest material comforts will guarantee teachers to be immersed in passing down more knowledge to students and in inventing more effective teaching methods that can stimulate students to learn more.

In a nutshell, judging from the internal incentive of teachers and student-oriented education system, the work of improving the quality of education should not focus most on increasing teachers’ wages. Nevertheless, we cannot ignore modest material comforts can ensure the quality of education.

作者: 20063843 时间: 2010-7-29 16:08:45

你这个是多长时间的写的呀？写的这么好，，，牛人啊
我什么时候能写出这么好的文章来啊？
你词汇什么的怎么积累的讲点经验吧

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-7-29 18:32:18

用了两个小时多:L
这是第三篇作文了，但还是没有什么思路，真担心考试的时候，半个小时我只能写200多了单词，那就完了~~
单词就是背了词以类记，TOEFL词汇精选。
但是很多单词还是不会用，或者用的不恰当，比如一楼的那一篇。

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-7-29 22:53:55

本帖最后由 crystal5841 于 2010-7-29 23:33 编辑

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.

The youth is a generation full of passion and liveliness. They struggle and endeavor for a colorful and glorious future. After graduating from either high school or university, how many enthusiastic young people have the provident ability to choose a fitting job and firmly maintain the confidence in the belief that the job suits him or her most and then undertake the job for a lifelong time with great self-satisfaction? Although a constant work may seems to be a expedient experience to live a stable life, make similar friends, and even take the same bus to company, nevertheless, this stereotype lifestyle could not make sense to the vigorous youth. Why does it happen?

The first reason might involve the diversified society. It’s the tendency of subdivision of work that provides profuse vocation options, such as surgeon, physician, lawyer, mechanic, teacher, chef, driver, salesman, chemist, biologist, psychiatrist, and the list will go on. To be sure, this trend makes it contingent for adolescents to alter from job to job, just for the pursuing their “ Mr. right”, which can accompany them for the rest life. Even in the initial preparation for the future career, the “job hopping” commences and acquires licensed by the society. For example, 3 out of 5 universities have proposed the policy that newer have the opportunity and right to choose to transfer from his former department to another one until the end of the second semester, as long as he or she submits a formal written paper elaborating about the reason. This measure sounds sensible. It’s just like no one finds it in his or her heart to chide a guy about his behavior of parting with his unbecoming girlfriend, and hamper him from aspiring the true love. Hence, it is the manifold job positions provided by the society as a premise for young people to hop between jobs to eventually undertake what they favor most.

More important, there might be internal factors to drive youth attempt different work. In the current period, more and more adolescents advocate and emphasize novelty and challenge as the prerequisite of their job hunting. It might be tempting to transfer to several different work and positions to taste various facet of life, considering the new work circumstance, the innovative experience and the new outstanding friends. You know, why do I choose the major of computer science and technology in university without hesitation?
Not only does the decent salary rather appeal to me, but also the vast scope of jobs market where I can practice my expertise, such as working in IT, in network company, and even in hospital, which makes it possible for me to experience variant work. From this point of view, the desire of new experience and higher salaried motivates young people to search for new job market to chase their dreams.

However, should the adolescent who perseveres his sole job option as his life goal be scorned and then distrust himself whether incompatible to other peers and incline to follow like sheep?
Of course not. An authentic yet successful case originates from one of my intimate friends. He is among the preeminent students in my class and he possess the sober talent to know what he wants. Since the fist day in university, he aims to be neurosurgeon and holds the dream resolutely and endeavors to fulfill it. After so many years, he has become an accomplished neurosurgeon and commenced a new era in the microinvasion surgery in China. The job as a neurosurgeon is his truelove although he choose only once.

In a nutshell, judging from the copious job positions and aspiration to savor new experience and chase the dream, only under special circumstances, such as discovering the most favorite work just by one glimpse, will young people convert from job to job, before they take a long term career.

实在是很抱歉，因为总是写作没有一点儿思路，绞尽脑汁，所以今天就放任自己写，没有限制字数，以后我一定会慢慢的改正的，再也不写超过很多字了~~~

作者: tautou-fan 时间: 2010-7-30 11:35:59

Do you agree or disagree:- h+ k) _' c% U* Q
Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits. R( r5 l3 A; l7 U0 `
$ _) N2 J; `* t+ S8 F5 e" O, \

It is undeniable that advertising indeed induce people to eat unhealthy food and have erratic meals. Captivated by the inviting images of fast food, which （is） contains high calories and low vitamins, the adolescents, especial those who are still scanty of the ability to differentiate right from wrong说不能区分对与错是否严重了点？说成不能区分是否对自己身体有益与否更好, haunt the KFC, or Mcdonale everyday and eventually suffer from obesity and malnutrition. Moreover, recently在米国也是最近开始的吗？如果不是的话讲明是中国比较便于老外理解吧，或者就直接讲：这种24小时的服务更如何如何, the KFC advances the slogan of 24 hours opening, which provides a expedient excuse for those who do not want to have super on time, because they can order food on midnight
. While according to a latest research paper on （the） Science, having food on midnight will increase the risk of gastric cancer, because the stomach cannot get enough time to rest.

Advertising may, nevertheless, help foster more healthy eating habits than before. Many parents, who are concerned about their children's dislike of meals, learn a lot from the advertisement about essential nutrients, such as iron, and then remember to prepare certain dishes that are copious of iron. I （am） also benefit a lot from advertisement. The pills, which are propagated to be instrumental to sleep, release me from the nightmare, which is originated from my intense pressure from the approaching TOEFL test.这里你讲的是一种帮助你睡眠的药，而不是给你健康饮食的药

In addition, there are also many other factors that lead to the unhealthy eating habit. People nowadays have very little time for anything, even for eating. People have to work overtime, on the expense of meals latter. Husband, whose wife is working overtime, stuffs himself with a piece of （bread）一片面包太减肥了吧，说叫份外卖或者吃点pizza and a bottle of beer, and then spare much time to watch the exciting World Cup and champion and acclaim his favorite football star. A child, whose parents are working overtime, will go改成order的话句子比较顺 to KFC for his supper.
& r( Q( Q1 G% h6 o

Judging from what has been discussed above, the saying that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits, is evidently wrong.这里最好再讲一下，你的观点是确实有些不好，但是也是有些广告是不错的

最后，不好意思这么晚才给你改作业

作者: dandan17 时间: 2010-7-30 14:18:07

[attach]148313[/attach]

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-7-30 23:38:18

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign

There is increasing tendency of people aspire to taste different culture and customs of foreign countries. How many people prefer reading photos and words which describe about the a foreign country on the newspapers and magazines to savoring the picturesque scenery by themselves? Although it might be tempting that the newspapers and magazines are readily available, scarcely are people satiated by the rough scan of the alien culture? Why does this happen?

The first reason might involve the booming tourist industry. Dramatic changes have taken place in every aspects of tourism, which convert the tourist to a foreign country from a mysterious experience to a commonplace. The speedy transportation, the cozy housing and the reasonable schedule of the trip to vocation destination are appealing to most people, especially to those hectic workers and students. You know, last weekend, one of my roommates traveled to Jinzi island in Korea, which is a gorgeous islet with very charming ocean view. This may sound incredible that she is in Beijing city today but then tomorrow, she is basking on the beach, which the ocean breeze is blowing and the seabirds are singing. This experience is indeed inviting and, no wonder, there is an increasing number of people make a journey abroad. Hence, convenient tourism service emerges as a premise for the fad of making a holiday abroad to enjoying foreign culture.

More importantly, there might be internal factors to drive people travel there rather than reading written words about an alien country. In the current period, more and more people emphasize on their own feeling and desire to experience by themselves, especially for adolescents. It seems rational that people incline to hold a critical view about the world, even about the description of a foreign country. Especially when they develop dense interests on the country and yearn to have a comprehensive and profound understanding about it, such as its delicious cuisine, its local customs and its identity literature, the magazine and newspapers evidently cannot gratify the yen of them, let alone that of experts, such as historian and archeologist.

However, is the depiction of a foreign country on the newspapers and magazine s meaningless to consumers? Certainly not. In fact, the first impression and the rough profile of alien countries always originates from the newspapers and magazines which will cover different periodically and provide considerable instrumental information for us. People can observe their favorite and then plan a elaborate journey there. When all is said and done, we cannot savor every country by ourselves, or travel to a foreign country without a general idea about it beforehand.

In a nutshell, judging from the flourishing tourism service and aspiration to experience in person, the majority will take a trip to the foreign vocation destination. Nevertheless, we cannot ignore the significant information from the newspaper and magazines.

作者: linran0108 时间: 2010-7-31 21:10:29

7# crystal5841
不好意思，这么晚才给回复，之前没能上网，不好意思。
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.
4 I" x( i% {$ M( S2 [0 a$ K6 Y) o! }/ H0 C
[url=]The youth is a generation full of passion and liveliness. They struggle and endeavor for a colorful and glorious future. After graduating from either high school or university, how many enthusiastic young people have the provident ability to choose a fitting job and firmly maintain the confidence in the belief that the job suits him or her most and then undertake the job for a lifelong time with great self-satisfaction? Although a constant work may seems to be [/url][url=]a[/url][o1] expedient experience to live a stable life, make similar friends, and even take the same bus to company, nevertheless, this stereotype lifestyle could not make sense to the vigorous youth. Why does it happen?9 i, H, Q5 w# H: I" \[o2]

+ a( h) a! h1 {The first reason might involve the diversified society. It’s the tendency of subdivision of work that provides profuse vocation options, such as [url=]surgeon, physician, lawyer, mechanic, teacher, chef, driver, salesman, chemist, biologist, psychiatrist, and the list will go on. [/url][o3] To be sure, this trend makes it contingent for adolescents to alter from job to job, just for the pursuing[url=] their “ Mr. right”[/url][o4] , which can accompany them for the rest life. Even in the initial preparation for the future career, the “[url=]job hopping[/url][o5] ” commences and acquires licensed by the society. For example, 3 out of 5 universities have proposed the policy that [url=]newer[/url][o6] have the opportunity and right to choose to transfer from his former department to another one until the end of the second semester, as long as he or she submits a formal written paper elaborating about the [url=]reason[/url][o7] . This measure sounds sensible.[url=] It’s just like no one finds it in his or her heart to chide a guy about his behavior of parting with his unbecoming girlfriend, and hamper him from aspiring the true love. [/url][o8] Hence, it is the manifold job positions provided by the society as a premise for young people to hop between jobs to eventually undertake what they favor most.——————最后一句话我看明白了，可是为什么我觉得只是背景资料呢？
; c% n# r& H8 {
[url=]6 M* x* J: Y: n. Y+ m$ S8 U[/url]More important[o9] , there might be internal factors to drive youth attempt different work. In the current period, more and more [url=]adolescents[/url][o10] advocate and emphasize novelty and challenge as the prerequisite of their job hunting. It might be tempting to transfer to several different work and positions to taste various facet of life, considering the new work circumstance, the innovative experience and the new outstanding friends. You know, why do I choose the major of computer science and technology in university without hesitation?
! F) m0 _7 e# x5 v3 QNot only does the decent salary rather appeal to me, but also the vast scope of jobs market where I can practice my expertise, such as working in IT, in network company, and even in hospital, which makes it possible for me to experience variant work. From this point of view, the desire of new experience and higher [url=]salaried [/url][o11] motivates young people to search for [url=]new job market[/url][o12] to chase their dreams.8 s; T, P& N \8 U. F" O

0 x+ n. f, B, L# @1 K0 s& w- v$ XHowever, should the adolescent who perseveres his sole job option as his life goal be scorned and then distrust himself whether incompatible to other peers and incline to follow like sheep?3 {/ z$ j# z6 k0 G$ w
Of course not. An authentic [url=]yet[/url][o13] successful case originates from one of my intimate friends. He is among the preeminent students in my class and [url=]he[/url][o14] [url=]possess[/url][o15] the sober talent to know what he wants. Since the [url=]fist[/url][o16] day in [url=]university[/url][o17] , he aims to be neurosurgeon and holds the dream resolutely and [url=]endeavors[/url][o18] to fulfill it. After so many years, he has become an accomplished neurosurgeon and commenced a new era in the microinvasion surgery in China. The job as a neurosurgeon is his truelove although he [url=]choose [/url][o19] only once. 5 P+ l1 I3 M, U7 H

2 n' N7 W% G1 J0 |In a nutshell, judging from the copious job positions and aspiration to savor new experience and chase the dream, only under special circumstances, such as discovering the most favorite work just by one glimpse, will young people convert from job to job, before they take a long term career.

总评: 语言很不错了.称赞的话就不多说了,主要讲我觉得有待改进的部分吧.
文章太长这个就不说了,其实字数造成的不仅仅是时间的问题,还有就是整个上话有些唠叨,一些没必要的也说,就显得中心不够突出.我觉得思路上有些乱，至少我看的觉得跟主题切合度稍显不足。

[o1]An

[o2]这一整段都没有提到讨论的主题……这。。。

[o3]我觉得这句话，或者这个用法似曾相识啊。。现在流行列词么。。

[o4]既然是their，得用复数吧？

[o5]想说跳槽者还是跳槽？job-hopper？

[o6]？这是想说什么？这是主语？还是修饰policy的？我真的没看懂。这句话语法有问题。

[o7]Reasons更好一些吧？

[o8]我觉得似乎很喜欢拿男女之间的事情来作比喻。。而且，这个看起来好像更不恰当一些。。额。。

[o9]More importantly？

[o10]个人觉得年轻人和青少年是不一样的。。青少年不能找工作，是童工。。。。。

[o11]Salary？

[o12]？new job or job market更合适一些吧、

[o13]没看出转折。。

[o14]可以不要

[o15]Possesse

[o16]First

[o17]冠词？

[o18]Endeavor

[o19]Chooses

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-7-31 23:22:32

independently writing: 是telephone 还是television对人类的有more effects?

The inventions of telephone and television may be among the first rank of preeminent devices that influence people most. Relatively speaking, how many people could live alone without telephone rather than television for a period, even for only one day? Telephone seems to be a necessity, and according a recent survey, 9 out of 10 individuals own a personal telephone. It may sound incredible, but it’s true, because we need it so much. How does this happen?

The first reason might involve the booming telephone industry and gradually perfected communication technology. Jules Verne’s words “ Anything one man can imagine, other men can make real” may profoundly elaborate how telephone has amused people till now and will continue to entertain the mass without deadline. The shift from stationary telephone to mobile phone allows people to take it anywhere. The mutation form a bulky telephone to an ingenious one makes it contingent to pocket a telephone. The function of a telephone has converted from communication to a complete recreation, which accomplishs the dream of most fervent football fans that they can enjoy the live broadcasting of World Cup on the bus to work. While the market of television seems relatively gloomy and the progress of its innovation has pretty slowed down, because the function of television has been taken place in certain field by telephone, which is prevalently installed with a TV box. Hence, the big boost of telephone function serves as a major premise for its catering to people needs.

More importantly, there might be internal factors that drive the masses inevitably to be addicted to telephone. Seldom does a person want to live a solitary life. We all want to be cared, to be greeted, to be connected ever and agah. This makes sense, because people are gregarious animals. Indeed, we can get familiar with the outside world by a TV set, but the news, the actors, the stories, sometimes, has little relation with our sorrow and joy at this time. While, it’s the telephone, which may be tiny, cute, and lying in tranquility, that has a magic power. A phone call from school could inform a student that he or she is enrolled in a key university. Then that student could ring his (her) intimate friends to share the ecstasy. From this point of view, the aspiration of direct communication between people provides a tremendous market for telephone.

However, does television exert no impact on the masses? Of course not. Since be invented in the early 20th century, television has influenced people in many aspects, especially to strengthen the family ties. For example, after a hard day of hectic work, it’s really cozy for people to sit together with family members after supper, to enjoy their favorite TV programs, such as weather forecast, legal report, and some the romantic movie of titanic.

In a nutshell, judging form the powerful function and the prevalent popularity among the masses, it’s undeniable that telephone influences people more than television.
Nevertheless, we cannot ignore the fact that television has also significantly contributed to our daily life.

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-8-1 18:27:53

11# linran0108

非常感谢这么仔细的修改哦~~~~:loveliness:

作者: 伶女 时间: 2010-8-3 09:39:15

不好意思呀晚了晚了～～～～

个人意见在这里了，谢谢你的批改呢:loveliness:

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-8-3 12:53:48

14# 伶女

这个好像不是我的作文耶~~~:L

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-8-3 22:52:41

本帖最后由 crystal5841 于 2010-8-3 23:57 编辑

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

A job or the jobs take up most time of our life and serve as the critical resource with our daily mood. When it comes to the option between a job with more vocation time yet a low salary and one with a decent salary but less vacation time, many people may argue that they love the latter choice, which is what they aspire and pursue for. Nevertheless, as far as I am concerned, the former alternative is a reasonable one, which will do better to people and the society. How does this happen?

The first reason may involve that the overwhelming majority might enjoy the relaxation and pleasure, which is brought about by vacation and also what they work for. More vacation time makes it possible for workers to stay together with their family members, intimate friends, favorite hobbies. They can take their affectionate parents, lovely children to the picturesque scenery to enjoy beauty of nature. They can invite several intimate friends to hike in a small yet beautiful town, drinking around the needfire along the beach to talk about their life dream. More over, they can sit in tranquility with the chess, to enjoy the peace of life. The most important thing is that they can ease the strain from work and refresh their energy to gain more enthusiasm for their work. Hence, people will feel more about the meaning of life, love life and then lead a happy life.

In addition, the job with more vacation time yet not much wage will contribute to the stability of society. Such as what I have illustrated before, if all the people lead the happy and relaxed life, there will be less turmoil and complaint in the society. People seem to live in a peace and congenial atmosphere and so the erratic factors, such as the criminal behavior, will drastically decrease. On the contrary, all days of work and little time for recreation will lead to soaring of the disgust and hatred to the world. People will feel like slaves working all day for the landlord of salary. All they endeavor for is just the paper bills, which they have even no time to spend out and then they will feel meaningless of life, the result of which, may be committing suicide, which is the worst the last outcome that we want to see. From this point of view, the society will represent stable and congenial if people can enjoy their life.

However, there indeed exists certain group of people, whose career goals, even the dreams of life are earning more and more money. With the money, they will feel to be the monarch of the world. We should also respect them and admit their outlook of life, because they can also contribute to the stability of society.

In a nutshell, judging from the facet of satisfaction of people and the stability for the society, a job with more vocation yet low salary is a sustainable option for the well-beings. Nonetheless, we should not turn a blind eye to certain people who hold a money-oriented view to their job positions.

作者: nunulong 时间: 2010-8-4 12:38:28

您好，文章已经修改，请查收，水平有限，请多多包涵！

作者: shengzhi86 时间: 2010-8-4 21:54:00

改完

作者: cocojames 时间: 2010-8-5 13:52:31

There is increasing tendency of people aspire to taste different culture and customs of foreign countries. How many people prefer reading photos and words  which describe about the a foreign country on the newspapers and magazines to savoring(savor?) the picturesque scenery by themselves? Although it might be tempting that the newspapers and magazines are readily available, scarcely are people satiated by the rough scan of the alien culture? Why does this happen?

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The first reason might involve the booming tourist industry.  Dramatic changes have taken place in every aspects of tourism, which convert the tourist to a foreign country from a mysterious experience to a commonplace. The speedy transportation, the cozy housing and the reasonable schedule of the trip to vocation destination are appealing to most people, especially to those hectic workers and students. You know, last weekend, one of my roommates traveled to Jinzi island in Korea, which is a gorgeous islet with very charming ocean view. This may sound incredible that she is in Beijing city today but then tomorrow, she is basking on the beach, which the ocean breeze is blowing and the seabirds are singing. This experience is indeed inviting and, no wonder, there is an increasing number of people make a journey abroad. Hence, convenient tourism service emerges as a premise for the fad of making a holiday abroad to enjoying foreign culture.. |! @1 L' P  D4 w

More importantly, there might be internal factors to drive people travel there rather than reading written words about an alien country. In the current period, more and more people emphasize on their own feeling and desire to experience by themselves, especially for adolescents. It seems rational that people incline to hold a critical view about the world, even about the description of a foreign country. Especially when they develop dense interests on the country and yearn to have a comprehensive and profound understanding about it, such as its delicious cuisine, its local customs and its identity literature, the magazine and newspapers evidently cannot gratify the yen of them, let alone that of experts, such as historian and archeologist.* m6 y: ?9 Z* y8 U
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However, is the depiction of a foreign country on the newspapers and magazine s meaningless to consumers? Certainly not. In fact, the first impression and the rough profile of alien countries always originates from the newspapers and magazines which will cover different periodically and provide considerable instrumental information for us. People can observe their favorite and then plan a elaborate journey there. When all is said and done, we cannot savor every country by ourselves, or travel to a foreign country without a general idea about it beforehand. + \( C5 L2 r+ ?- T3 {
$ O' p* L- v2 ]9 {  N& S
In a nutshell, judging from the flourishing tourism service and aspiration to experience in person, the majority will take a trip to the foreign vocation destination. Nevertheless, we cannot ignore the significant information from the newspaper and magazines.

写的挺好的，尤其是描写部分，词语用得很准确哦

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-8-5 23:04:02

本帖最后由 crystal5841 于 2010-8-5 23:06 编辑

09.06.12NA
! g$ \) j q# \( T8 b) EDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

Whether university students should undertake part-time jobs is a long-lasting issue of controversy and there are divergent opinions, which sound plausible in certain aspects. Some people argue that, as the pillar of future society, university students should be devoted to the academic courses wholeheartedly. Nevertheless, as far as I’m concerned, certain part-time jobs will benefit students on the facets of providing students precious work experience and acquaint students more with their major.

The first respect will involve the work experience. It’s undeniable that many academic textbook are lagging pretty much from the advanced science. In such a era of information explosion, void of latest knowledge will fatal for university students, especially for those in the high-tech majors, such as computer science. The theory and programming language, which the students learn today in the class, is indeed cast away by the society, how could them bear the responsibility to invent striking software after graduated. On the other hand, the work experience in a high-tech company will abridge the gap between textbook and reality. Students will keep pace with the latest progress in their major and follow suit. Accordingly, part-time jobs are supplement the knowledge blank, which is not imparted by traditional education.

More importantly, during a part-time job, students can get a deeper understanding about their major. School education can only instill abstract knowledge but not how the knowledge is implied in the daily life. If students are confined to the campus and stuffed the literacy from book, they will become out of wits when they suddenly encounter the reality. Especially for the students from medical college, they should take up the responsibility to save life, not orally elaborate the steps. A part-time job will present how the academic literacy is exerted in every aspects of society and contribute to the well-being for human. Then students are aware that the close relation between their majors and the society and will study hard and may alter the focal point to the practical skills. From this point of view, university students will understand their majors more comprehensively and objectively.

We concede that there are many part-time jobs, which take up students much time and energy, even influence the academic study. However, this problem can be overcome, or in certain sense, students could learn the skill of managing the time and then reach the balance between academic study and part-time job, which is essential competence in the fierce social competition.

In a nutshell, judging from the precious work experience and deeper recognition about the majors, part-time jobs will benefit university students to huge extent. Although there might be some problems in the process, the students could also learn how to resolve it.

作者: shiyingjingjing 时间: 2010-8-6 23:44:50

Crystal~~~你好啊~~ 我怎么找不到你的8.5的作文呢？？我还会回来你的贴看的。你应该都是放到到贴里吧。。。？==

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-8-10 23:02:58

本帖最后由 crystal5841 于 2010-8-10 23:31 编辑

想死的心都有了，想破头也不知道怎么写，自己的观点总是那么的晦涩，真怕考试的时候自己连200字都写不到，而且还没写完。大家都说作文很好提高，为什么到了我这儿就这么难呢？？:mad:

09.07.25NA

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries.
With the flourish development of recreation industry and increased import of foreign movies and
TV programs, quite a few seem to consider it as a general truth that alien movies and TV programs are more fascinating than domestic ones. Nevertheless, to be frank, I cannot agree with them. There are numerous reasons why I have no confidence on them and I will explore only a
few conspicuous aspects as follows.

The main problem with this statement is that they seem to turn a blind eye to inevitable cultural gap between different countries. It is known that directors will base the movie or TV programs on certain local natural conditions and social customs. The scenes, actions, words are all derivations from the specific context and background. If they cannot understand the background, like two people communicate with different languages, audiences will not feel the joys and sorrows of the scene, suffer the breathtaking episode. And the outcome is that a classic excellent movie may be like a bland dish for audiences. More over, it is really embarrass that a exceptional foreign comedy cannot evoke you to chuckle because you even have no idea about their bizarre actions. Hence, if audience cannot bridge the context gap, the great movies or TV programs are not able to amuse audiences.

From what I have illustrated above, some people may conclude
that domestic programs will captivate the mass more readily and easily. It is a misunderstanding. Given the native awful directed movie or tedious TV programs, no people will be willing to flatter it is very interesting, although he or she has definitely understand what the motif, the scene, the words, the actions and so forth.

What really accounts in the criterion of a fascinating and attracting movie or TV program is the inviting content, which fit the needs and interests of audiences. Take the case of a despair job hunter, who has failed for many interviews and on the verge of breakdown. The movie" Gump", the fundamental note of which is optimism and perseverance, will easily cheer that job hunter up and encourage him or her to keep on going and never give up. After a hard day of hectic study, it is really cozy for a high school student to enjoy the comedy "Football" by the famous and celebrated Chinese joking star Zhou xingchi. From this point of view, it is the content not the originate production country attributed for an interesting movie or TV program.

In a nutshell, judging from the fact of cultural gap, it is not reasonable to deem foreign movies and TV programs are more interesting than domestic ones. And what we should attach importance to the selection of an fascinating movies and TV programs is a fitting content for the individuals.

作者: 王亚冉 时间: 2010-8-11 22:36:05

改好了~

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-8-12 22:57:38

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in lifec

Success is a long lasting issue, which is under discussion by the overwhelming majority, because it is universally acceptable that everyone wants to harvest a fruitful life. When faced with the argument that demonstrating the fortes and achievements will contribute to the victory in life, some one will bolster their disagreement based on the assertion that they can get successful without the society recognition. Nevertheless, to be frank, I really cannot agree with them. and not only on the facet of job career, but also from the angel of daily life, showing glorious merits and feast to others will be illustrated to be integral to a triumph in life as follows.

First and foremost, by ascertaining other people realize their strengths and accomplishments, people will tend to be more successful in the job career. Taking into consideration of an integral society, there is no solitary success without the cooperation with other team members. The overall idea of employers' capabilities and fortes, the boss will allocate the most fitting job positions to respective individuals. By demonstrating what they have accomplished and what they are proficient at, it is more readily for the employers to get support and trust from their clients, coworkers and bosses. This confidence and auspice will enable those employers to play their talent into full play. In short, the communication about their strengths and achievements will help people get a desirable job and exert their ambition, which is eternal career victory for a worker.

More importantly, a happy daily life always favors those who are adept in propose their fortes and achievement on the appropriate occasions. By execution of their fortes, people can help their friends who are in trouble. A neurosurgeon will render great and significant aid, if one of the his or her friends has suffered from the
pituitary carcinoma. And this help will definitely fasten their friendship. More over, a beautiful girl would be deeply captivated by a man's forte and achievement rather than by his handsome outlook, which will fade away along with the indifferent time. Via illustrating his strengthens and accomplishments, this man can convince both his girl and her parents a prospective future and steady life. Consequently, this man will harvest his dreaming true love. From this point of view, with the help of showing their fortes and feast, people will tend to be successful in both friendship and love.

In a nutshell, judging from the triumph in job career and daily life, which are all attributed to demonstration their fortes and accomplishments, people will definitely harvest a fruitful life.

作者: matlab007 时间: 2010-8-14 20:14:36

8.12-comment by matlab写很好。多交流。学习了。求指点。

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-8-14 22:39:25

09.08.07NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.

Children education is a long lasting controversial issue. When faced with the various options in the crossroad, quite a few domineering parents would make decisions for their children, and they deem this behavior as a protection and aid for their lovely kids. Nevertheless, to be frank, I really cannot agree with this action and I firmly assert that children should determine the future by themselves because they have to and they desire to.

It is undeniable that parents' suggestion is crucial for the decision. With more life experience and mature perspective, parents can render instrumental and significant suggestions for children. By consulting with their parents, children can get a more clear idea about the two sides of a coin and achieve a profound understanding about each option. Nonetheless, we should not blur the reality that presenting the clear circumstance and information does not equate selecting a decisive alternative. Parents are playing the role to assist their children to make sure about what they realy asperse. The ultimate determination should be made by children. The reasons will be illustrated as follows.

First and foremost, children have to determine their choice, because parent cannot help them to make every choice and sometimes, parents' options are wrong or not fitting for the children. Parents act as a tour guilder in the preceding life path for their children. There will be one day that children grow up to adults and have to make their own decisions. If the youth have been coddled to depend on parents, they will feel overwhelming pressure and lose their mind facing the complex society. Moreover, it is inevitable that on certain circumstance, parents' choices are turned out to be wrong. A subtle error may matter little. When it comes to the decision about the major in university, if a child is ordered to take a major which is not his or her interest, and the child works poor in the school performance, who should then be blamed?

More importantly, it is youth themselves that desire to make choices and wield the power to determine their own fate. Adolescents are a generation full of passion and zest. They want to select what they yearn for and assume the responsibility even when they make a wrong decision. Although the youth may get some penal for the wrong choice, they experience the real life and will be better prepared to make less mistakes and build a glorious life. From this point of view, making their own decision will help youth grow mature and prepare for the future challenge.

In a nutshell, judging from what has been discussed above, children should have the privilege to make their own decision because they have to and they want to. However, it should not be ignorant that with parents’ guidance, children will make a more wise and reasonable decision.

作者: hjHK 时间: 2010-8-14 23:09:06

你好，8.12的作文修改了，不好意思，晚了点。
24# crystal5841

作者: ~逆~ 时间: 2010-8-15 22:31:51

09.08.07NA    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.
+ q0 u: g( a2 K( n. h

. k: w( d2 {/ y$ j' e3 SChildren education is a long lasting controversial issue. When faced with the various options in the crossroad, quite a few domineering parents would make decisions for their children, and they deem this behavior as a protection and aid for their lovely kids. Nevertheless, to be frank, I really cannot agree with this action and I firmly assert that children should determine the future by themselves because they have to and they desire to.

C) C; ]$ e  }6 z+ ?
It is undeniable that parents' suggestion is crucial for the decision. With more life experience and mature perspective, parents can render instrumental and significant suggestions for children. By consulting with their parents, children can get a more clear idea about the two sides of a coin and achieve a profound understanding about each option. Nonetheless, we should not blur the reality that presenting the clear circumstance and information does not equate selecting a decisive alternative. Parents are playing the role to assist their children to make sure about what they really asperse. （这句话没看懂）The ultimate determination should be made by children. The reasons will be illustrated as follows.( F. Y# J7 P( X# v
  v& Z4 G( ?. p

First and foremost, children have to determine their choice, because parent cannot help them to make every choice and sometimes, parents' options are wrong or not fitting for the children. Parents act as a tour guilder in the preceding life path for their children. There will be one day that children grow up to adults and have to make their own decisions. If the youth have been coddled to depend on parents, they will feel overwhelming pressure and lose their mind facing the complex society. Moreover, it is inevitable that on certain circumstance, parents' choices are turned out to be wrong. A subtle error may matter little. When it comes to the decision about the major in university, if a child is ordered to take a major which is not his or her interest, and the child works poor in the school performance, who should then be blamed? 8 O( k/ l! ~2 }+ B

More importantly, it is youth themselves that desire to make choices and wield the power to determine their own fate. Adolescents are a generation full of passion and zest. They want to select what they yearn for and assume the responsibility even when they make a wrong decision. Although the youth may get some penalties for the wrong choice, they experience the real life and will be better prepared to make less mistakes and build a glorious life. From this point of view, making their own decision will help youth grow mature and prepare for the future challenge.4 c, L  ^9 H" L& z2 ^

In a nutshell, judging from what has been discussed above, children should have the privilege to make their own decision because they have to and they want to. However, it should not be ignorant that with parents’ guidance, children will make a more wise and reasonable decision.
实在不好意思实力相差太远不会改只能改一点点希望不要介意
向你学习

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-8-17 22:49:05

Telephone has greater influence on people’s lives than TV

Telephone, the most pervasive and persuasive device of science and technology, has exerted great effects on the human being. When it comes to the telephone and TV, quite a few people still hold the outdated view that TV influences people more than telephone. Nevertheless, to be frank, I cannot agree with them. It is indisputable that not only has telephone improved the work productivity, but it has also greatly gratify our emotional needs, both of which are matchless by TV.

First and foremost, telephone enhances the productivity to huge extent. The original and primary function of telephone may be utilized to connection. Before the invention of telephone, a treaty between several corporations will take up much time and expenditure on the trip, let alone the circumstance that the corporations come from different countries. This problem has been greatly solved by the telephone, thanks to which, representatives from each company can negotiate, bargain on the telephone, especially on the visual telephone, they can see each other. It is incredible before. More over, in the daily business routine, salesman do not have to risk the burning sun or rainstorm to drop by each consumer about the after-sale service. They can just call the clients and spare more time to focus on how the enhance the quality of commodities, value of brand and invent more magical products. Accordingly, the general use of telephone will save much gratuitous time and thus enable people to concentrate on the prime work.

More importantly, as a gregarious animal, people need to connect with others at any time, which has been effectuated by the invention of telephone. We all have the need to talk to each other. With a telephone, we can connect everyone in the world, such as family members, classmates, friends, and so forth. We can share with them about our joys and sorrows as soon as possible. For instance, when I got the offer to be a journalist in Xin Hua news agency, I got into rapture and the first thing came into my mind was to inform my affectionate parents and friends to celebrate this happy news. In the past, although a letter can also be qualified, the time for delivery is so long that maybe when they received the letter, I was not on the peak of joy.

In a nutshell, judging from the benefit to the work productivity and human connection, which cannot be achieved by TV, telephone exerts more influence on people than TV.

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-8-17 22:50:54

28# ~逆~
大家共同学习~~~仍然要谢谢你的修改~~~

作者: canoe03 时间: 2010-8-18 22:46:49

写的很好！
[attach]149953[/attach]

作者: canoe03 时间: 2010-8-18 23:06:50

谢谢crystal同学，改的很仔细，因为掐着时间写的，很仓促，实际上这是我第二次写了。看了你的作文之后才恍然大悟有这么好的论点，谢谢！

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-8-18 23:40:56

32# canoe03
囧一个，其实我也写的不好，大家共同努力~~~

作者: rebaccajill 时间: 2010-8-19 00:59:05

已改好~BY Jill(蚊子)

写的太好挑不出来毛病

作者: crystal5841 时间: 2010-8-19 08:12:04

34# rebaccajill
谢谢LS的修改~~:)

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