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标题: 新人作文,求重拍。。。 [打印本页]

作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-8-26 21:48:56     标题: 新人作文,求重拍。。。

本帖最后由 zcnvszwj 于 2010-8-26 21:55 编辑

第一篇,耗时75分钟,题目来自独立写作小组9月版
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country

consisting of more and more fresh photographs and various contents, newspapers and magazines are becoming of main methods for people to learn about a foreign country. in my opinion, however, they still haven't been the best way and own no chance in future. to touch some information of a foreign county on culture, economics, education and something like that, we should not limit ourselves in few media.
for most of us, a country's culture is the first field we would like to meet. absolutely newspapers and magazines provide many introductions on traditional events of different countries, from Christmas day in America to maritime festival in Japan. but all these reports can't be entire and of details as much as possible. one better road to foreign culture is surfing the internet websites of the country, searching details you like. another way i prefer is just travelling to the country. for example, through words and pictures, i could simply learn there is the maritime festival, whereas if i have a visit to Japan during this festival, I will unconsciously know its origin, meaning, celebrities and ceremonies. only by personal touch can i assign that i have really learnt about some country's culture.
secondly, learning about a foreign country sometimes means learning about its economics, since economics stand for an area's development and strength. usually we could find expert analysis on newspaper or magazine, focusing on some country's market. however, if we get quite interested in that, will we stop in reading a few economical reports? the answer is certainly no. we will conclude our sentence after comparing all kinds of economical data form newspaper, magazine, television, internet and even a history book. with necessary, we may telephone some friend in the country whose field is nothing else but economics. a newspaper or a magazine can't reflect whole circumstance.
furthermore, to youth who defined study plan in foreign country, it's very strict to master the educational policy as much as possible. there may be a feature article of a famous university on magazine, but there won't be a policy explanation of foreign study on newspaper, because that's boring for other readers. what's more, several outstanding universities offer free professional lectures to share. for instance, more and more Chinese students downland the open lectures from Yale university and find diverse teaching processes on American campus. that's another study way for foreign students while can't be promoted either on newspaper or on magazine.
summarizing the points above, newspaper or magazine is not the best way to learn about a foreign country, but par of methods. we haven't invent a effective way through which we could know some country very comprehensively, even on a small domain. the best way to learn something appealing, including a foreign country, is mixture of multiple methods.
作者: fd笑笑    时间: 2010-8-27 17:14:59

consisting of more and more fresh photographs and various contents, newspapers and magazines are becoming of (the)main methods for people to learn about a foreign country. in my opinion, however, they still haven't been the best way and own no chance in future. to touch some information of a foreign county on culture, economics, education and something like that, we should not limit ourselves in few media.8 t$ @8 {4 a9 t# O
for most of us, a country's culture is the first field we would like to meet. absolutely newspapers and magazines provide many introductions on traditional events of different countries, from Christmas day in America to maritime festival in Japan. but all these reports can't be entire and of details as much as possible. one better road to foreign culture is surfing on the internet websites of the country, searching details you like. another way i prefer is just travelling to the country. for example, through words and pictures, i could simply learn there is the maritime festival, whereas if i have a visit to Japan during this festival, I will unconsciously(随便加个词进去要解释的,怎么不知不觉的就知道呢?要么就不加 。) know its origin, meaning, celebrities and ceremonies. only by personal touch can i assign that i have really learnt about some country's culture. 倒装句,挺好的!secondly, learning about a foreign country sometimes means learning about its economics, since economics stand for an area's development and strength. usually we could find expert analysis on newspaper or magazine, focusing on some country's market. however, if we get quite interested in that, will we stop in reading a few economical reports? the answer is certainly no. we will conclude our sentence after comparing all kinds of economical data form newspaper, magazine, television, internet and even a history book. with necessary, we may telephone some friend in the country whose field is nothing else but economics. a newspaper or a magazine can't reflect whole circumstance." S; V# d8 d$ X1 g6 a! {
furthermore, to youth who defined study plan in foreign country, it's very strict to master the educational policy as much as possible. there may be a feature article of a famous university on magazine, but there won't be a policy explanation of foreign study on newspaper, because that's boring for other readers. what's more, several outstanding universities offer free professional lectures to share. for instance, more and more Chinese students downland the open lectures from Yale university and find diverse teaching processes on American campus. that's another study (studying) way for foreign students while can't be promoted either on newspaper or on magazine.这个从句想表达什么意思?这个从句里都没有主语哎。。。。。 + f% |0 A& c0 s  N$ V; q8 D
summarizing the points above, newspaper or magazine is not the best way to learn about a foreign country, but par of methods. we haven't invent a effective way through which we could know some country very comprehensively, even on a small domain. the best way to learn something appealing, including a foreign country, is mixture of multiple methods.
大小写就不帮你改了,句子开头和I 都要大写。
读着很累人,有些句子读着很费解,别说是我们读了,老外读着不是更费解?有些句子看上去是像是很蹩脚的翻译。希望楼多看些好的文章,写的地道些。
楼主还要多加油啊。
个人水平品有限,有改的不对的地方还请见谅。
作者: woshixiaoz    时间: 2010-8-27 21:56:26

我自己的语法不太好,就不帮你挑语法错误了,见谅。有个感觉和2楼差不多,读起来有些吃力。
总体感觉你的论题不错,可见你还是费了不少心思的,论证里的材料举的也很好,尤其是Yale 的课程这个例子。
summarizing the points above,这句话也值得我学习。
不足之处是:句首的大写。
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-8-29 09:50:25

8月28日交

(09.02.27NA)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

Most of us have a dream, which is earning a big salary with vocation time as long as possible. Of course it can't come true, for no boss in the world will agree the assignment above, so we have to pick up one and give up the other. However, in my opinion, both high salary and long vocation time could belong to me, in my different life sections.
After graduation from college, I would like a job with higher salary and less vocation. Since I haven't set up my financial fundament, the first mission is just to complete it, or I will never own conditions to do what I want. Without enough money, I can't support my parents economically after their retirement, buy a BMW saloon car driving me everywhere, or even enjoy a small delicious diner. Secondly, to youth, although vocation could relax people's spirits, sometimes it effects negatively. for example, on the first working day after the golden week, one longest vocation time in China, there are various news of how workers haven't adjust to their job, expressing laziness and low efficiency. What’s more, if I choice a job with less salary and more vocation, what could I do during vocation? I could only stay at home, playing computer games or sleeping all the day, because of the lack of money. Then the vocation time is definitely equal to unmeaningful time.
However, when I get old, I will prefer the other option, a job with less salary and more vocation. I change my choice with three reasons following. first of all, the most important issue to the aged, is their health. More salary attaches more work or difficult task, that's harmful to my senile body. On the other hand, benefiting the savings from previous life, I own financial condition to make my vocation rich and colorful. I will become addicted in travelling in grand scenic spot, playing golf with my best friends and swallow numerous kinds of food so long as my doctor allow. Furthermore, after industrious work for tens of years, it's the turn to forget boring graph on report form and relax myself lying on sand beach full of sunshine. at that time, job is only a small part of my life while vocation is the essential one.
Summarizing the points above, I do believe everyone should choice both high salary with less vocation time and low salary with more vocation time, depending on your age. Since the life consists of two styles, hard-working and relaxing, why do we experience both of them?
作者: Colin_h    时间: 2010-8-29 17:39:27

4# zcnvszwj
改好啦~~
作者: nikitalele    时间: 2010-8-29 18:38:05

“vocation could relax people's spirits”,ect.
这样的句子是不是有些Chinglish啦?通篇感觉不够idiomatic哦~
最后一段的choice是名词,动词是choose,这样的错误应该努力避免~
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-8-29 20:37:45

受教了。。。感激不尽
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-9-4 16:11:33

9月4日交
09.08.01NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life

Although numerous people have experienced the feeling of self success, like completing an excellent article and enjoying reading it without sharing to others, most kinds of success connect coherently to our society, especially influential persons and our employers. Possessing strength and accomplishment, we still need someone's help, identity and diffusion. Only then will we practically feel successful in our lives.
The first bridge between one's capacity and success is others' help. Living in more and more competitive circumstance, we should not only focus on our strength’s development, but also how to demonstrate it. Unfortunately we don't know the steps of demonstration at most of time. Then if a person, especially an influential one would like to conduct us to show ourselves well, there is no doubt that we will achieve our goals much easier. For instance, Jacky Chen, the famous Kungfu film actor, got his first main role in Hollywood through a successful director. The director confirmed Chen's acting capacity, picked up him among thousands of candidates, and told him the difference between movie filed of Hongkong and that of America. Finally with the director's help, the film won public reception and Chen set up his career aboard successfully.
Secondly, besides our accomplishments, we need others to indentify our success. There are various kinds of success that must be compared within a specific standard by a few professional persons. Gymnastics match is a good example. Many athletes promote beautiful and difficult actions like backward somersault, and then several judges evaluate their demonstration and decide the best one. To some degree, the success is just coming from judges. Without other's compare and judgment, we won't be sure whether our accomplishments have transformed into success.
Furthermore, the necessaries to success consist of not only other's help, identity, but also other's share. As the Chinese idiom said, "feeling happiness can't be better than sharing it". The success can be regarded as some type of happiness here. Imagine a scene, you have achieved the highest score at school, what will you do? Just smile to yourself or share the news with your parents and friends? I believe most of us prefer the latter. Making others feel your success and be happy like you, you will absolutely get much more successful.
Summarizing the points above, people around you is the key to your success. Of course it's not the only one, because the most important condition is your outstanding strength and accomplishment. Developing ourselves, combining our striven with others' help, identity and sharing, then we can't miss our own success in life.
作者: yishancheng    时间: 2010-9-5 23:20:42

9月4日交
09.08.01NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life( r; T. H6 c* `- r
" B& `' W9 `) P$ `, _
Although numerous people have experienced the feeling of self success, like(可改为such as,) completing an excellent article and enjoying reading it without sharing to others, most kinds of success connect coherently (最好调到society 后)to our society, especially influential persons and our employers. Possessing strength and accomplishment, we still need someone's help, identity and diffusion. Only then will we practically feel successful in our lives. (可改为 Only we do like this, can we feel success in our live\s.)
The first bridge between one's capacity and success is(最好为owe to) others' help. Living in more and more competitive circumstance, we should not only focus on(应在not only前) our strength’s development, but also how to demonstrate it. Unfortunately we don't know the steps of demonstration at most of time. Then if a person, especially an influential one would like to conduct us to show ourselves well,(and) there is no doubt that we will achieve our goals much easier(good). For instance, Jacky Chen, the famous Kungfu film actor, got his first main role in Hollywood through a successful director. The director confirmed Chen's acting capacity, picked up(choosing) him among thousands of candidates, and told(telling) him the difference between movie filed of(in) Hongkong and that of America. Finally with the director's help, the film won public reception and Chen set up his career aboard successfully.  [" Y4 k) I8 D) x" \
Secondly, besides our accomplishments, we need others to indentify our success. There are various kinds of success that must be compared within a specific standard by a few professional persons. Gymnastics match is a good example. Many athletes promote beautiful and difficult actions like backward somersault, and then several judges evaluate their demonstration and decide the best one. To some degree, the success is just coming from judges. Without other's compare and judgment, we won't be sure whether our accomplishments have transformed into success. & y2 b  \5 b  v% u3 w& g. E
Furthermore, the necessaries to success consist of not only other's help, identity, but also other's share. As the Chinese idiom said, "feeling happiness can't be better than sharing it". The success can be regarded as some type of happiness here. Imagine a scene, you have achieved the highest score at school, what will you do? Just smile to yourself or share the news with your parents and friends? I believe most of us prefer the latter. Making others feel your success and be happy like you, you will absolutely get much more successful.`9 {7 w
Summarizing the points above, people around you is the key to your success.(good) Of course it's not the only one, because the most important condition is your outstanding strength and accomplishment. Developing ourselves, combining our striven with others' help, identity and sharing, then we can't miss our own success in life.
建议:多看看优秀作文,多练!祝你成功!
作者: fair_lady    时间: 2010-9-6 15:34:47

改好了~
新人要累积一定的发帖量才能贴附件,我也是前几天才开始能贴的~
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-9-7 11:48:36

2009.8.7 NA  是否同意 parents help determined the future of their children or children allow to make their own choices.
When teenagers encounter several options to choose from, like what kind of job is better, an argument often erupts between them and their parents. That is because teenagers are just used to making their own choice since it's their own life, while their parents prefer to determine their future after much more valuable life experience. Both of them hold potent justifications, so which statement I agree to a higher degree?
Ahead of answering this question, I would like to present an example of myself. After graduation from high school, I need to choose my major in university. The process puzzled me seriously. Addicted in leading people on work and earning high salary, I wanted to study on management.  My parents, on contrary, thought machinery more suitable as it is more practical and easier to hunt a job. Ultimately, I chose a major named process equipment and management, which contains knowledge on two fields. This decision was satisfactory to both of us. This example theorized the best solution, in my opinion, that is parents help children to make their own choice.
Initially, life belong to ourselves, and we should undergo own life, making own decision. We understand ourselves, especially something inside that others haven't learnt. To some extent, it's only we that comprehend which choice is better. For instance, someone desires to be a merchant building an large business empire, but he or she never reveal this idea and just be found of reading economical books, so the parents will regard their child as a future economist. What’s more, although parents’ determination can guarantee us to avoid a few pains in life, there also exist an idiom, “no pains, no gains.” Without suffering difficulties, how are we able to survive facing more challenges and achieve more success?
On the other hand, parents' advice should be taken into account, since their experience is quite previous. Firstly, parents have lived in society tens of years, understanding characters of the circumstance and methods to benefit from it. Undoubtedly, they always come up with several meritorious ideas, such as where the job market is larger. At the same time, parents are sure about our strength and weakness watching our growing up. Their suggestions are definitely depending on it. Therefore, we can’t deny that consulting from our parents will benefit us a lot.
Summarizing the points above, the best solution is not confined on children’s own choice or their parents’ determination, but the mixture of them. Listening to our parents and making our own decision, we will absolutely possess brilliant and unrepentant career.
作者: zhangyouj02    时间: 2010-9-8 16:43:40

When teenagers encounter several options to choose from, like what kind of job is better, an argument often erupts between them and their parents. That is because teenagers are just used to making their own choice since it's their own life, while their parents prefer to determine their future
after much more valuable life experience. Both of them hold potent justifications, so which statement I agree to a higher degree?
Ahead of answering this question, I would like to present an example of myself. After graduation from high school, I need to choose my major in university (and it put me in a dilemma.) Addicted in leading people on work and earning high salary, I wanted to study on management.  My parents, on contrary, thought machinery more suitable as it is more practical and easier to hunt a job. Ultimately, I chose a major named process equipment and management, which contains knowledge on two fields. This decision was satisfactory to both of us. This example theorized the best solution, in my opinion, that is parents help children to make their own choice.+ a. N4 R6 I( {" {  d
Initially, life belong to ourselves, and we should undergo own life, making own decision. We understand ourselves, especially something inside that others haven't learnt. To some extent, it's only we that comprehend which choice is better. For instance, someone desires to be a merchant building an large business empire, but he or she never reveal this idea and just be found of reading economical books, so the parents will regard their child as a future economist. What’s more, although parents’ determination can guarantee us to avoid a few pains in life, there also exist an idiom, “no pains, no gains.” Without suffering difficulties, how are we able to survive facing more challenges and achieve more success?
On the other hand, parents' advice should be taken into account, since their experience is quite previous. Firstly, parents have lived in society tens of years, understanding characters of the circumstance and methods to benefit from it. Undoubtedly, they always come up with several meritorious ideas, such as where the job market is larger. At the same time, parents are sure about our strength and weakness watching our growing up. Their suggestions are definitely depending on it. Therefore, we can’t deny that consulting from our parents will benefit us a lot. ; G0 h2 A5 l$ x) i
Summarizing the points above, the best solution is not confined on children’s own choice or their parents’ determination, but the mixture of them. Listening to our parents and making our own decision, we will absolutely possess brilliant and unrepentant career


PS: Good job!. Some sentences are given by some stranger expression pattern. Generally, the first paragraph is very well, while the fellow paragraphs have simple sentences. Some people may think that you use modle in this assigment. In addition, I strongly recommend you to clearly express your meaning using easier and correct words. In other words, do not expression your meaning in a stranger way.


作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-9-9 19:04:10

2009.9.11NA  agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life

Definitely, it's ridiculous that only watching movies could teach you something about real life. In that case, all of excellent films will become a kind of philosophy textbook. That's what we excepting? Of course the answer is no. In fact, owning many valuable tips on real life, movies possess some other functions to the audience, such as relaxing them, making them interested in specific fields and touch culture in different countries. With random effect above, a film is worthy of watching.
To begin with, the film’s initial purpose is relaxation, or to bring happiness and comfort to the audience. After a week's strenuous work, it's a wonderful idea, that can't be better, to stay in a cinema with friends, laughing at funny actions and humorous sentences from performers in comedy film. A scientific survey report, out of most people’s thought, shows that during the appearance of Mr. Bean in film, averagely every person laughs over 1.6 times per minute. There is no doubt that we can get relaxed through a comedy film, both on physics and spirits.
Secondly, a remarkable film will interest its audience in specific fields, especially what seem boring on class. For example, the protagonist in a detective film is using physiology knowledge, to judge when this murder happened. Listening to his or her strict statement, you will unconsciously master some key points on physiology, instead of repeating them under your teacher's stare. Another famous example is a series of films named Star War, having encouraged thousands of teenagers to devote in astronomy and study the origin of universe. To some extent, one film is initiatory teachers on one specific aera, like mathematics and machinery, guiding us to stride in it and strive to comprehend more in further study.
Furthermore, the film can be regard as a type of path to learn different culture in different country. Japanese movie often attaches more or less the spirits of Bushido, as well as traditional singing and dancing always presenting in Indian film. Countless foreigners understand the meaning of American Dream through Forrest Gump, and decide to pursue it by working or studying in the United States. Despite of travelling, there isn't other way to touch a culture so directly like watching its films.
Summarizing the points above, film can not only lead us to understand real life, but also have several important functions. The educational purpose of film shouldn't be ignored or magnified, so it is with other impacts. Simply enjoy a film, and naturally feel its goodness.
作者: canonlee    时间: 2010-9-10 23:20:23

非常好的文章!
向你学习!
[attach]152251[/attach]
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-9-11 20:07:09

2009.9.19 NA  Government should more support art museum and music performance than recreational facilities, such as swimming pool or play ground.9 o1
Definitely, it's ridiculous to make educational sites in community, such as museum and music performance, apart from recreational facilities including of swimming pool and play ground, since they express no difference as indispensable parts in everyday life and have no special significance be compared with each other. In my opinion, the government should support not either, but both of them.
Under one hand, education is major responsibility to the government, because it's the government that establishes organizations to educate residents on various knowledge, in order to develop the country and harmonize the society. The educational site, besides of school, is just the key to this process. Visiting a history museum, for instance, we will get proud of unbelievable ancient achievements and feel sadness from catastrophe, understanding our duty on how to develop our motherland suitably. Another example is music performance, which could teach us to appreciate the tranquility of Noctume and the magnificence of the Ninth Symphony. Learning their effects, how can we refuse building educational sites? They are full of importance.
On the other hand, the support to recreational facilities should not be weakened but strengthened. As the name’s meaning, recreational facilities bring entertainment and comfort to people. Many children prefer to play water ball with their parents in swimming pool, as well as some teenagers fond of holding a baseball match on play ground after class. Everyone find his or her happiness within staying in these facilities. There is no excuse to destroy them, or stop developing them. In that case, the society will absolutely become spiritless, with no more genuine laughter.
Furthermore, education and recreation can sometimes transform to each other. A place setting up primarily for educational purpose also owns several recreation functions. Watching an opera in music performance, we will not only appreciate the beauty of art, but also relax our spirits and body. What's more, no one can deny that the swimming pool encourages citizens nearby to learn swimming. So to some extent, we should regard educational sites and recreational facilities as the same conception.
Summarizing the points above, both educational sites and recreational facilities are quite necessary to us, both on education and recreation. The government should meditate how to develop them well, rather than to decide which part is more meaningful.
作者: cairen1986    时间: 2010-9-13 20:18:21

改好了
作者: allthetime    时间: 2010-9-14 16:59:17

15# zcnvszwj
我从来没写过类似两种同样重要的文章(凡是问Do you agree我都明确地选择其中一个来回答),所以文章的结构是很值得我学习的。有几处我有不同意见。


2009.9.19 NA  Government should more support art museum and music performance than recreational facilities, such as swimming pool or play ground.9 o1
* e" e4 I3 }- W# q& oDefinitely, it's ridiculous to make educational sites in community, such as museum and music performance, apart from recreational facilities including of swimming pool and play ground, since they express no difference as indispensable parts in everyday life and have no special significance be compared with each other. In my opinion, the government should support not either, but both of them.
7 r% k% x# ~# J7 k8 @' R9 ~( T9 IUnder one hand, education is
(加上the major responsibility to the government, because it's the government that establishes organizations to educate residents on various knowledge, in order to develop the country and harmonize the society. The educational site, besides of school, is just the key to this process. Visiting a history museum, for instance, we will get proud of unbelievable ancient achievements and feel sadness(应是sad) from catastrophe, understanding our duty on how to develop our motherland suitably. Another example is music performance, which could teach us to appreciate the tranquility of Noctume and the magnificence of the Ninth Symphony. Learning their effects, how can we refuse building educational sites? They are full of importance.
% x: u7 T1 h# g6 o, |On the other hand, the support to recreational facilities should not be weakened but strengthened. As the name’s meaning, recreational facilities bring entertainment and comfort to people. Many children prefer to play water ball with their parents in swimming pool, as well as some teenagers fond of holding a baseball match on play ground after class. Everyone find his or her happiness within staying in these facilities. There is no excuse to destroy them(
为什么会突然写到destroy), or stop developing them. In that case, the society will absolutely become spiritless, with no more genuine laughter.; ^% n7 ]( Y4 {; i% ]) v
Furthermore, education and recreation can sometimes transform to each other. A place setting up primarily for educational purpose also owns several recreation functions. Watching an opera in music performance, we will not only appreciate the beauty of art, but also relax our spirits and body. What's more, no one can deny that the swimming pool encourages citizens nearby to learn swimming. So to some extent, we should regard educational sites and recreational facilities as the same conception.
  H6 J  B" O; z$ `/ P: W  c& lSummarizing the points above, both educational sites and recreational facilities are quite necessary to us, both on education and recreation. The government should meditate how to develop them well, rather than to decide which part is more meaningful.


作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-9-14 20:46:21

2009.9 25NA do you agree or disagree: having jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is better than jobs with high salary but being easy to lost.

As a proverb says, high profit equals to big adventure, which also appears in job market nowadays. Some jobs attaches low salary and high security, while others owns the opposite, leading to making a vital choice. In my opinion, there is not any unconditional answer, since everybody holds different solutions, just resulting from their specific environments. Therefore, we should judge not a better option, but a more suitable one.
Initially, what kind of job is better keeps in close touch with one’s financial background. Living in villa with millionaire parents, you could select various kinds of work, despite of considering its salary or security. On contrary, people growing in an ordinary house are likely to prefer occupation with high salary and low security, since they have to sustain their whole family. Definitely I'm an example. I signed up employment agreement with a nuclear power plant as a first-place worker. The main reason of that is its high salary, about 15,000 dollar per year which can afford all pay expenses of my family. At the same time, however, even encountering a little mistake, I will lose this job immediately.
Secondly, the age has important effects on preference of job choice. High salary means not only being easy to lost, but also arduous and burdensome assignments to complete. Being young and energetic, I can absolutely reach my goal on time, whether it includes thousands of papers to write or a difficult professional model to build. Inversely, if I'm an elder, perhaps I will fall asleep within finishing these boring tasks. Can you imagine an old man with white hair operate computer in Wall Street as a stock dealer merely because of high salary and low security? That's impossible.
Furthermore, in addition to financial background and age, different personality will write different answers to this question. With outstanding and striving character, a person may be addicted in profession with high salary and low security, instead of worrying about how old he or she is. We are all used to appreciating achievements by many aging CEOs, some of whom have already said goodbye to their teeth. Similarly, there are many people, consisting of a few teenagers, who desire stable and simple lives, just meeting with work with low salary but high security. As a word, personality impacts job preference seriously.
Summarizing the points above, jobs with low salary and high security doesn’t own more advantages or disadvantages than ones with high salary and low security. It lies on various critical factors, such as financial background, age and personality. Only taking our own situations in account will we be able to verdict more suitable occupation choice.
作者: chikako.k    时间: 2010-9-16 15:22:15

18# zcnvszwj

As a proverb says, high profit equals to big adventure, which also appears in job market nowadays. Some jobs attaches (attach)low salary and high security, while others owns (have/are) the opposite, leading to making a vital choice (why lead to a vital choice? Don't understand). In my opinion, there is not any unconditional answer, since everybody holds different solutions (opinions), just resulting (stemming) from their specific environments. Therefore, (what) we should judge (decide is) not a better (right) option, but a more suitable one. (here I think  better=more suitable one)
Initially, what kind of job is better keeps in close touch (is closely connected) with one’s financial background. Living in villa with millionaire parents, you could select various kinds of work, despite of considering its salary or security. On contrary, people growing in an ordinary house are likely to prefer occupation with high salary and low security, since they have to sustain their whole family(not necessarily so, if you lose your high salary the very next day, do you still prefer to have it? Better have a long term secured job). Definitely I'm an example. I signed up employment agreement with a nuclear power plant as a first-place worker. The main reason of (for) that is its high salary, about 15,000 dollar(s) per year which can afford(cover) all pay (delete pay) expenses of my family. At the same time, however, even encountering a little mistake, I will lose this job immediately.' k5 `0 ?: a" @% K# _8 W. `
Secondly, the
(people's) age has important effects on (the) preference of job choice (delete choice). High salary means not only being easy to lost (lose), but also arduous and burdensome assignments to complete. Being young and energetic, I can absolutely reach my goal on time, whether it includes thousands of papers to write or a difficult professional model to build. Inversely, if I'm an elder, perhaps I will fall asleep within (while) finishing these boring tasks (not persuasive). Can you imagine an old man with white hair operate computer in (on) Wall Street as a stock dealer merely because of high salary and low security? That's impossible.
Furthermore, in addition to financial background and age, different personality will write
(offer) different answers to this question. With outstanding and striving character, a person may be addicted in profession with high salary and low security, instead of worrying about how old he or she is. We are all used to appreciating achievements by many aging CEOs, some of whom have already said goodbye to their teeth. Similarly, there are many people, consisting of a few teenagers, who desire stable and simple lives (teenager? Young people), just meeting with (don't understand) work with low salary but high security. As a word, personality impacts job preference seriously.3 x5 s& e: M0 [  n
Summarizing the points above, jobs with low salary and high security doesn’t own more advantages or disadvantages
(are not advantageous or disadvantageous ) than ones with high salary and low security. It (what does it refer to?) lies on (depends on) various critical factors, such as financial background, age and personality. Only taking our own situations in account will we be able to verdict more suitable occupation choice.

作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-9-16 20:06:13

2009. 10. 17 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished.
Good people being rewarded while bad people getting punished, the common characteristic belonging to quite a few movies and televisions, apparently hold positive effects on our lives. However, if there were always such programs, would audiences accept it with a good grace? Absolutely the answer is no. what we learn from movies and televisions comprises not only two simple and opposite kinds of people, but also something more interesting and authentic.
Initially, excellent movies and televisions own important influence on audience. For instance, teenagers often subconsciously imitate some behavior of the protagonist. Consequently by watching movies and televisions which just tell good people being rewarded and bad ones published, we will naturally amend our own actions, helping others more and avoid committing serious mistakes. On contrary, motivated by other programs different from the formers, many people, especially some children who haven't built rounded system of ethics, are likely to do awful deeds that harm our community. In general, this kind of movies and televisions is indispensable.
At the same time, however, movies and televisions are not merely composed by ones simply about good people and bad people. Usually they don't have categorical roles that are good or bad, but zigzag stories in which even bad persons sometimes do good things, leading to an interesting and appealing feeling. We will hardly enjoy a film with satisfactory end, which could be judged through its first five minutes. Then how can we get relaxed and comfortable? It’s the main function of movies and televisions.
Furthermore, even movies and televisions without telling good people being rewarded and bad ones punished, something previous is still worthy of learning, due to their reflections about cruel truth on life. Take a famous film in China, Nanking, as an example, which describes a catastrophic massacre happened in Nanking during the Second World War. At the end of the film, Japanese soldiers who did the crime were still alive while Chinese habitants almost died out. It teaches a meaningful lesson to all of Chinese, to appreciate peaceful time and respect the fragility of life.
Summarizing the points above, movies and televisions should not always demonstrate good people being rewarded and bad ones punished. There are some other golden substances worthy of containing, such as bringing audiences happiness and relaxation, as well as telling complicated truth on life. Only in that case will movies and televisions become good teachers in our lives.
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-9-18 17:14:21

08.12.05NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life
Most celebrities, interviewed on various kinds of media, often mention their favorite sports when sharing their successful lives, such as how hobby of playing I-go leads to completing considerably and staying up for several days energetically to complete a key assignment due to experience of long-distance runner. These reports definitely demonstrate some life lessons we could learn from sports. As well as offering a healthy body, sports do have some other valuable influences.
To begin with, sports could make us being competent. As its initial purpose, usually sports encourage people to try their best to reach goals, shooting more or running fast, and then, more importantly, keep this competitiveness spirit to confront life challenges and overcome them. During my preparation for TOEFL, for instance, I often fell quite tired and brokenhearted, when finding more and more multifarious difficulties created by ETS. However, memorizing the period of being swimmer, I understand barriers are merely parts of challenges. To span them, what I should do is keeping competent during my preparation, just like keeping swimming in match. Without sports, perhaps a little deterrent could stop my steps, both in match and in life.
Secondly, sports teach us to comply with the rule. A wonderful basketball match, absent of normal rules and referee, will probably degrade to an exchange blows. Only under correct judgment can we really appreciate the inner beauty of sports. Similarly, only complying with rules, will we undergo happy and harmony lives with one another, since every problem can find its suitable solvent from rules. There will not be conflict, crime and even war. Although this is an ideal scene, rules have made it true in matches and urge everybody to do so outside gymnasium.
Furthermore, sports remind us one content of life is rest. Living in society nowadays, we nearly contribute all of our time to finish countless job or study. But it's not the whole life, which consist of rest at the same time. Doing sports is some kind of rest, from which we could feel total relaxation both spiritually and physically, and enjoy scarce comfort which hardly appears in work. What’s more, after a rest of doing sports, we will get more energetic and better ready for next mission. As a word, no one would refuse having a rest comprising sports.
Summarizing points above, sports teach people precious lessons, including being competent, complying with rules and valuing rest. It's more than simple entertainments to do sports, waiting for us to discover and learn from. To some extent, catch on the essence of sports; catch on the essence of life.
作者: heycd    时间: 2010-9-19 09:54:58

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作者: heycd    时间: 2010-9-19 15:09:06

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作者: 灰色精英    时间: 2010-9-20 15:29:19

网坏了,晚了,求谅解word07传不了,。。。郁闷
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-9-21 19:39:25

09.05.30NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

Quite a few people contradict the addition of art and music in school when children are only five or so, since they insist that these abstruse courses are definitely incomprehensible for kids. In my opinion, however, young school children should be required to study art and music. Will parents agree on that math should be removed from little children' curriculum due to comprising difficult equations? Of course the answer is no, which is also suitable for art and music. In general, they are of the same importance as math, science, history and language.
To begin with, art and music are two effective paths for children to appreciate essential beauty, which appears relatively boring in other classes. Under one hand, children could learn the objective beauty from art and music naturally, such as how an artist applies scientific layout structure to make paintings appealing. On the other hand, the subjective beauty, hard to find in a science textbook, can be touched by children through their own thoughts. Asking children within watching a masterpiece by Van Gogh, you will hear thousands kinds of feeling, from happiness to sadness. This appreciation process will absolutely develop children's ability on independent thinking. As a word, the objective and subjective beauties leant from art and music are quite vital to children's education.
Secondly, studying on art and music, children are just experiencing a heart purification. Most excellent art or music works, as we know, were completed though an industrious period when the creator was keeping a pure heart. Educated from them, children will begin to understand this spirit purring course and admire to be a simple and honest in the future. You can hardly imagine an imitable person, hurting others frequently, is fond of classical music. There is no doubt that art and music are mental guiders in children's growing, leading them to love humans and the world.
Furthermore, above appreciating beauty and experiencing heart purification, children will also get relaxed during enjoy art and music. To children, whether a physical theory or an historic event seems nothing else but boredom. They are not interested in such study. Adding art and music classes, on contrary, is a feasible solution. No one can deny that children will get comfortable and energetic immersing soft music. Therefore, it will increase the efficiency of study on other courses, as well as being helpful in their health.
Summarizing the points above, I do believe that art and music should be studied by children even their ages arrange from five to ten. They will achieve big wealth in study process, including beauty appreciation, heart purification and relaxation. Only by having education appropriately mixed with various kinds of courses, will children grow healthily and surpassingly.
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-9-23 19:12:04

09.04.03NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries.
Definitely, I think it's ridiculous to regard increasing teachers ‘salaries as the best way to improve the quality of education, since there are a few teachers with poor professional knowledge and little incentive to change it. They can't guide an excellent education program whether earning one thousand dollars annually or one million. In my opinion, instead of merely increasing salaries, we should apply a series of educational supports in all associated fields, including facilities, teachers and students.
Initially, good education requires various educational facilities, arranging from spacious classroom to technical laboratory. Without them, students will not even find place to stay during learning. I' m proud to take my campus, Tingshua University, as an example. Compared with most universities around China, it owns the best education conditions allowing hundreds kinds of major completed successfully. A teacher could design a complicated aerodynamics experiment in lab, as well as searching a rare literature book in library. Abundant facilities have helped it to stand on top of education in China. As a word, good facilities are the first key to good education.
To continue with, teachers should also get strong support in good education, due to their identities as educational executors. Under one hand, it's vital to keep teachers' salaries relatively high, making them focusing on teaching without worry about basic lives. On the other hand, the policies in school should be tolerant for different teachers, who hold different approaches. Only permitted to walk their own path will teachers manage to create best educational effects. This is a main reason, for instance, why many universities in United States get admired by outstanding teachers around the world. Therefore, finance and policy support will absolutely contribute much to education.
Furthermore, beyond facilities and teachers, students, the reviewed roles in education, do need multifarious supports in education, too. If parents can't afford their children to study at school, how can these poor kids get taught under even best teachers? Some financial aids ought to be taken to avoid such problems. What’s more, students need decent atmosphere when studying at school. For example, teachers should endure little mistakes made by students carelessly, rather than roaring or punishing them. After the support on them plays a part, students then could benefit from facilities and teachers.
Summarizing the points above, increasing salaries is not the only method to improve the quality of education, which should be implemented with other measures to reach the best goal. We do hope that one day good teachers will teach good students in good school. Only every portion gets more and more perfect, will the quality of whole education get better and better.
作者: 凼凼55667    时间: 2010-9-24 00:10:49     标题: 9.23改好了

本帖最后由 凼凼55667 于 2010-9-25 09:04 编辑

9.23
Definitely, I think it's ridiculous to regard increasing teachers ‘salaries as the best way to improve the quality of education, since there are a few teachers with poor professional knowledge and little incentive to change it. They can't guide an excellent education program whether earning one thousand dollars annually or one million. (这个论据很主观,说服力不够,可以不写)In my opinion, instead of merely increasing salaries, we should apply a series of educational supports in all associated fields, including facilities, teachers and students.

Initially(学习了), good education requires various educational facilities, arranging from spacious classroom to technical laboratory. Without them, students will not even find place to stay during learning. I' m proud to take my campus, Tingshua(Tsinghua,这不能拼错哦!) University, as an example. Compared with most universities around China, it owns the best education conditions allowing hundreds kinds of major completed successfully. A teacher could design a complicated aerodynamics experiment in lab, as well as searching a rare literature book in library. Abundant facilities have helped it to stand on top of education in China. As a word(改成in a word), good facilities are the first key to good education.(key是“关键”,再加上first感觉缀余)

To continue with(这个短语感觉生硬), teachers should also get strong support in good education, due to their identities as educational executors. Under one hand(on one hand比较常见), it's vital to keep teachers' salaries relatively high, making them focusing on teaching without worry about basic lives. On the other hand, the policies in school should be tolerant for different teachers, who hold different approaches. Only permitted to walk their own path will teachers manage to create best educational effects(on academia). This is a main reason, for instance, why many universities in United States get admired by outstanding teachers around the world. Therefore, finance and policy support will absolutely contribute much to education.

Furthermore, beyond facilities and teachers, students, the reviewed roles in education, do need multifarious(学习了) supports in education, too. If parents can't afford their children to study at school, how can these poor kids get taught under even best teachers? Some financial aids ought to be taken to avoid such problems. What’s more, students need decent(学习了) atmosphere when studying at school. For example, teachers should endure little mistakes made by students carelessly, rather than roaring or punishing them(小毛病~这个例子没有体现出decent的气氛). After the support on them plays(palying) a part(in  xxx,不说清楚的话,这个比喻就有点费解), students then could benefit from facilities and teachers.

Summarizing the points above(不自然), increasing salaries is not the only(题上是the best,最好别偷梁换柱~) method to improve the quality of education, which should be implemented with other measures to reach the best goal. We do hope that one day good teachers will teach good students in good school. Only every portion gets more and more perfect, will the quality of whole (quality of)education get better and better.
优点:用词不错,论证逻辑清晰有力,是一篇佳作。
不足:鸡蛋里挑骨头:首段论证过于丰富,这样会消耗考试精力。据说老外并不看重首尾两段内容~
我也写了这篇,欢迎  回批!(见13楼)

我把你这篇作文推荐到优秀作文贴了~
继续加油哦~
作者: 第五希云捷    时间: 2010-9-25 13:30:41

9.23~TOELF Writting
09.04.03NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries.

Definitely, I think it's ridiculous to regard increasing teachers ‘salaries as the best way to improve the quality of education, since there are a few teachers with poor professional knowledge and little incentive to change it. They can't guide an excellent education program whether earning one thousand dollars annually or one million. In my opinion, instead of merely increasing salaries, we should apply a series of educational supports in all associated fields, including facilities, teachers and students.(陈述立场驳论很好,但since那一段和后面那一句貌似不是很合适,而且我觉得最后一句应改为类似于I think applying a series of educational supports including facilities, teachers and students are more important than merely increasing salaries.毕竟,这是在论证一个the best way。而本文有点类似论证提高教育质量的方法有哪些,而不是最好的方法)


SInitially, good education requires various educational facilities, arranging from spacious classroom to technical laboratory. Without them, students will not even find place to stay during learning. I' m proud to take my campus, Tingshua University(抱歉……清华的校名打错了……囧), as an example. Compared with most universities around China, it owns the best education conditions allowing hundreds kinds of major hundreds of kinds of majorscompleted successfully(这句话什么意思啊?allow sth to be done). A teacher could design a complicated aerodynamics experiment in lab, as well as [as well as 前后动词的形式应该一样。所以,这里应该是search吧?]searching a rare literature book in library. Abundant facilities have helped it to stand on top of education in China. As a word, good facilities are the first key to good education.(希望加上一句,good facilities is more important


To continue with, teachers should also get strong support in good education, due to their identities as educational executors. Under one hand, it's vital to keep teachers' salaries relatively high, making them focusing on teaching without worry about basic lives. On the other hand, the policies in school should be tolerant for different teachers, who hold different approaches. Only be (加个be permitted to walk their own path will teachers manage to create best educational effects. This is a main reason, for instance, why many universities in United States get admired by outstanding teachers around the world. Therefore, finance and policy support will absolutely contribute much to education.

Furthermore, beyond facilities and teachers, students, the reviewed roles in education, do need multifarious supports in education, too. If parents can't afford their children to study at school, how can these poor kids get taught under even best teachers?Under even best teachers在这里用的不合适,应该是even there are best teachers in school之类,否则就好像有好的教师但是学生自己不去学习的感觉) Some financial aids ought to be taken to avoid such problems. What’s more, students need decent atmosphere when studying at school. For example, teachers should endure little mistakes made by students carelessly, rather than(rather than 前后动词的时态应该一致) roaring or punishing them. After the support on them plays a part, students then could benefit from facilities and teachers.* r! w8 r4 Z6 d3 c


Summarizing the points above, increasing salaries is no
t the only method to improve the quality of education, which should be implemented with other measures to reach the best goal. We do hope that one day good teachers will teach good students in good school. Only every portion gets more and more perfect, will the quality of whole education get better and better.

虽然这篇文章写得文笔我觉得还不错,但是有个问题,正如文章总结所言:increasing salaries is not the only method to improve the quality of education。本文论证的观点成了“提高教师薪水是否是提高教育质量的唯一方法”而非“最佳”办法。我觉得有点偏题了。如果作者认为需要提出其他的方法,是不是需要把每种办法与提高教师薪水比一下,每段接一句,这个方法比提高教师薪水的办法好,自然而然提高教师薪水的办法不是最佳的办法了。
仅供参考。

作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-9-25 19:24:19

09.01.17 NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.
It happens frequently that children cry out to their parents and refuse having dinner, merely because of not tasting a new flavor Macdonald's hamburger showed appealingly on television. This is an epitome of advertising's influence, mostly negative, on our eating habits. Although there are so many factors leading to unhealthy eating habits, I do believe that advertising is the most important cause.
Under one hand, advertising often manages to divert the attention of customers from everyday meal to advertising food, bringing about the absence of nutrients absorption from nutritious traditional food, such as vegetables and fruits. Quite a few examples could be present here, from children fond of various snacks to the aged addicted in enjoying so-called tonics. This deviant change on eating habit, unfortunately, brings people the eating disorder, and makes no contribution but setting up unhealthy body. In a word, advertising would generate the disgust to traditional food.
On the other hand, the food on advertisement is averagely lack of nutrients, which is vital to consumers’ health. Since entrepreneurs focus on profits achieved through sale, the development on taste and packaging of their products will absolutely keep going, in order to attract more customers. The nutrients in their products, however, can't be found out or felt directly, thereby owning no meaning to increase and staying low level. For instance, Lays potato chips tastes delicious, but can't help us physically. What’s more, the investment on advertising gets higher and higher nowadays, urging food companies to decrease the cost of products furthest. Hence, sometimes they will choose cheep cooking material within little vitamin or protein, like dehydrated vegetables, to replace fresh material. As a result, we can hardly take up nutrients from advertised food.
Furthermore, several other factors will also build unhealthy eating habits, including friends' recommendation and the affection on junk food. But these factors all own more or less connection with advertising. At most of time, whether a commendation or affection on food mostly comes from advertising. So advertising is just the paramount one among these causes.
Summarizing the points above, it's advertising, not other reasons, that contribute to unhealthy eating habits to the hilt, because of both no interest in traditional food made by it and absence of nutrients on advertising food. Learning from dietetic books and lectures, we are able to form our own healthy eating habits. Only then can we identify the essential purpose of food on advertising and make the best choice.
作者: heycd    时间: 2010-9-26 21:35:55

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作者: 第五希云捷    时间: 2010-9-27 14:32:15

925修改

09.01.17 NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits

It happens frequently that children cry out to their parents and refuse having dinner, merely because of not tasting a new flavor Macdonald's hamburger showed (shown) appealingly on television. This is an epitome of advertising's influence, mostly negative, on our eating habits. Although there are so many factors leading to unhealthy eating habits, I do believe that advertising is the most important cause.

Under one hand(貌似我还真没查到Under one hand这种用法。呵呵。), advertising often manages to divert the attention of customers from everyday meal to advertising food, bringing about the absence of nutrients absorption from nutritious traditional food, such as vegetables and fruits. Quite a few examples could be present here, from children fond of various snacks to the aged addicted in enjoying so-called tonics. This deviant change on eating habit, unfortunately, brings people the eating disorder, and makes no contribution but setting up unhealthy body. In a word, advertising would generate the disgust to traditional food.

On the other hand, the food on advertisement is averagely lack of nutrients, which is vital to consumers’ health. Since entrepreneurs focus on profits achieved through sale, the development on taste and packaging of their products will absolutely keep going, in order to attract more customers. The nutrients in their products, however, can't be found out or felt directly, thereby owning no meaning to increase and staying low level. For instance, Lays potato chips tastes delicious, but can't help us physically. What’s more, the investment (这个我建议用cost之类的) on advertising gets higher and higher nowadays, urging food companies to decrease the cost of products furthest. Hence, sometimes they will choose cheep cooking material within little vitamin or protein, like dehydrated vegetables, to replace fresh material. As a result, we can hardly take up nutrients from advertised food.

Furthermore, several other factors will also build unhealthy eating habits, including friends' recommendation and the affection on junk food. But these factors all own more or less connection with advertising. At most of time, whether a commendation or affection on food mostly comes from advertising. So advertising is just the paramount one among these causes.

Summarizing the points above, it's advertising, not other reasons, that contribute to unhealthy eating habits to the hilt, because of both no interest in traditional food made by it and absence of nutrients on advertising food. Learning from dietetic books and lectures, we are able to form our own healthy eating habits. Only then can we identify the essential purpose of food on advertising and make the best choice.

总的来说这篇文章写得不错。强调了广告的负面作用,认证很多。
认证的思路很好。
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-9-30 18:33:23

FOURTEEN
2008.10.17NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People benefit more from travelling in their own country than travelling in a foreign country
When hearing the plan to travel in foreign countries, children and youth, at most of time, will keep excitedly awake up all night, which could rarely be found if the aim area is civil site. This is merely because these curious kids desire to watch different sceneries and experience different cultures, or in other words, benefits more during traveling abroad, compared to staying at their familiar motherland. Hence, I do prefer to regard travelling in a foreign country as my next destination in summer vacation.
Initially, people could appreciate more natural scenery spots visiting foreign countries. Lying on our earth, most countries are defined in some district, owing few kinds of climates and terrains, which appear in everyday life of habitants and show no charm to them. Travelling in foreign countries, however, would bring us visual surprise even on a common coconut tree we never saw before. Whether Japanese standing in extensive Sahara Desert, or Americans overlooking Amazon Jungle on plane, they will absolutely exclaim out the magic landscape and are unwilling to leave away. Therefore, travelling in a foreign country means a big enjoyment to everyone's eyes.
Secondly, a foreign country owns a different culture, which we could not only touch directly but also learn from. Travelling abroad, we could feel almost every aspect of its culture vividly, such as traditional architecture, precious art works and unique festival. When standing in Lincoln Memorial, for instance, I just felt like talking with this great celebrity on his efforts to unity his country. Although other media, including books and internet, could guide us contacting the culture of a foreign country as well, travelling is the most authentic and meaningful method. What’s more, through travelling, we will expand our culture knowledge system, both objective and subjective. Thus it's worthwhile to feel a different culture, instead of continue staying in the accustomed one.
Furthermore, someone may stress that travelling in a foreign country attaches several problems, from new language to a lot of money, which don't emerge when wandering in our own country. In my opinion, these barriers are easy to move aside if we really want to go. With the development of education, quite a few people are able to communicate with strangers using English or the local dialect. At the same time, the budget of travelling abroad is getting equal to that of travelling inland nowadays, for the reason that various vehicles arise more and more convenient and affordable.
Summarizing the points above, travelling in a foreign country could make us watching more and experience more, with little problems easy to solve. It’s worthy of travelling in our own country, but going outside comprises much more value. So don't hesitate, just unfold your world map and pinpoint the next destination.
作者: 灰色精英    时间: 2010-10-1 15:28:14

楼主又见面了哈
这篇文章思路很好,有比较有举例,语言也很好
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-10-2 19:09:09

本帖最后由 zcnvszwj 于 2010-10-3 16:18 编辑

08.12.07NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Spending time alone is the best way to relieve stress
Definitely it's ridiculous to conclude staying alone as the best method to relieve stress, since people could hardly confine themselves in closed space all the time without any communication. In fact, staying with others is a better option when we are unfortunately under heavy pressure, due to its eminent regulation on spirits and less potential mental hurt.
Initially, through speaking out, we could easily share our negative emotions with others, which is vital to relieve stress. Obviously after crying out difficulty on study to someone, you would get quite light-hearted. Take my experience as an example. Undergoing fail of TOEFL at first time, my heart was full of disappoint as if it couldn’t create laugh again. Thanks to my mother. She asked for leave and stayed with me all along, cheering me up through her study experience, celebrity anecdotes and humorous jokes. Several days later, I finally drained out all my sadness to her, tearing endlessly. After that, I rebuilt my spirit and started my second struggle. Lacking my mother’s accompaniment, I could hardly relieve one’s stress.
On the other hand, valuable advice would be achieved when you stay with others. Stress often comes from sophisticated problems we encountered without finding an appropriate solution. Told about such trouble, our friends usually express their opinions, which frequently open our sight by chance, and guide us successfully to span the barrier. A survey, made by the Chinese Academy of Social Science, testified this conclusion. It demonstrated that nearly 83 percent people benefit meaningful hints through communication when under troubles, half of which even complete their solving scheme beyond that. This is more efficient than merely staying alone and searching possible settlement. In a word, staying with others is some kind of path to eliminate stress rather than simply relieving it.
Furthermore, although staying alone would relieve stress if people prefer, such as Chinese Kongfu masters keeping alone in log cabin to search the essence of physical culture, this method virtually attaches some potential mental hurt. Without anyone to share emotion, people perhaps would trap themselves in negative or extreme feelings, finding no way to escape out. Then the tristimania is on the way. Staying with others, however, will not worry us on such disadvantage.
Summarizing the points above, compared with keeping alone, staying with others relieves people’s stress greater, owing to not only the comments of sharing emotion or getting advice, but also less potential to mental illness. Sometimes we should keep alone, but it's not excuse to escape from your community. Only holding tight connections with others will we live a relatively relaxed life.
作者: WSYLR    时间: 2010-10-4 13:52:52

楼主写得不错哦 学习了....加油加油
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-10-7 17:51:18

09.03.21NA    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To remain happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success
Needless to say, either remaining optimistic under failure or achieving success is of importance, since they do reflect positive attitude or eminent experience in life. However, is it necessary to pick up the more significant one between them? Definitely I believe there is little value to do so, due to no appropriate method or specific meaning.
Initially, remaining optimistic under failure is vital to people, considering that we have been frequently undergoing various kinds of failure, light or serious. Not only will the optimism remove our sadness and despair subconsciously, but also infuse mental energy again, encouraging us to surpass the barrier ahead. For instance, after thousands of failures in experiment, which even resulted in his relatives’ passing away, Nobel still kept striving in applied chemistry and finally invited the glycerin explosive. Like his statement in self-biography, it was optimism that motivated him going along. In a word, short of optimism, we can't get rid of failure and cheer ourselves any more.
Secondly, without doubt, achieving success belongs to one of the most wonderful experience. This amazing feeling symbolizes our meaningful lives after arduous struggle, as well as stimulating us to win the next glory. Take myself as an example. Desiring a high grade in GRE, a sort of success in my sight, I spent days and nights to prepare for the test, memorizing difficult words as many as possible. At last I achieved nearly 1400 score, which inspired my next endeavor on TOEFL-IBT. If achieving success lacks importance, perhaps I would take most of my time in playing computer games, reluctant to glimpse a simple English word. Hence, achieving success is also crucial in everyone's life.
Furthermore, there is no meaning to evaluate which option is more momentous, remaining optimistic under failure or achieving success. Firstly, different person hold different opinion and reasons, just like different preference in eating, where doesn't exist an unconditional criterion. On the other hand, even we find the better between them, it has no practical effects. Such solution can't do a favor to keep us optimistic under failure, nor find an easier path to reach the success. Then, why should we do that?
Summarizing the points above, I prefer to conclude remaining optimistic under failure of the same importance as achieving success. Everyone should think highly of both, instead of a so-called better one. Only then will we enjoy the meaningful and valuable life.
作者: caomiao723    时间: 2010-10-9 10:09:52

改好啦,水平有限,请见谅~
作者: cecyleyueyue    时间: 2010-10-9 13:22:00

10.7修改~~~[attach]153778[/attach]
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-10-9 16:51:38

09.03.07NA    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should not show their social or political views in the classroom.
What if a professor enthusiastically presents advocating on the policy made by President George W Bush in mathematical class? Absolutely students will detest the speech rather than happily accepting it. This practical case does make a statement, that is, teachers should not show their social or political views in the classroom.
Initially, students are just in process of social and political understanding, which will be influenced negatively by teachers' arbitrary leading. During their own demonstrations, teachers are guiding students to form similar attitudes towards some social phenomena or political party. This is opposite to the goal of education, helping students to build thoughts themselves. In fact, instead of showing any preference on Republican Party or Democratic Party, teachers should teach students how to gasp the difference between them and find their favors alone. Only by such procedure will students raise independent and appropriate ideology.
Secondly, teachers often get addicted in showing social or political views while doing such deeds, resulting in the occupation of time on major course and decreasing the efficiency of education. Take one of my professors as an example. Without elaborating dynamical principles on physical class, he has already immersed in telling several historic events happened recently in China and expressing his political understanding. Although they listen interesting sometimes, we students haven't achieve any valuable knowledge on physics. In a word, unless it's necessary, teachers should not show social or political views in class, in order to protect the efficiency of education.
From another perspective, of course there exist some exceptions under specific classes. On the one hand, during some courses like socialism or politics, teachers perhaps talk something on their opinions, as a template to help students to find their own thoughts. On the other hand, if students ask questions on socialism or politics related to the course, like definite economical policy basically formulated by some political party, teachers ought to show their views about that. Beyond that, however, there is no logical reason conducting teacher to do so, in most of time.
Summarizing the points above, because of potential misleading and decreasing of education efficiency, teachers should not show their social or political views in classroom, despite several practical exceptions. Their main duty is education, hence they should focus on imparting knowledge. Only by that will students develop themselves health both physically and morally.
作者: S酱    时间: 2010-10-10 00:27:31

本帖最后由 S酱 于 2010-10-10 00:38 编辑

39# zcnvszwj

09.03.07NA    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should not show their social or political views in the classroom.

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What if a professor enthusiastically presents advocating on the policy made by President George W Bush in mathematical class? Absolutely students will detest the speech rather than happily accepting(accept) it. This practical case does make a statement, that is, teachers should not show their social or political views in the classroom.开头反问很有气势嘛~

Initially, students are just in process of social and political understanding(不太让人明白~不然换个简单的表达?students are just in the learning process of society and politic), which will be influenced negatively by teachers' arbitrary leading. During their own demonstrations(觉得这个词好像是比较严密的论证,比如讲数学啥的,于是关于胡说八道的政治观点觉得应该换个词), teachers are guiding students to form similar attitudes towards some social phenomena or political party. This is opposite to the goal of education, helping (觉得还是不省略比较好,这样逗号后面有种强调的感觉 that is helping/to help xxx)students to build thoughts themselves. In fact, instead of showing any preference on Republican Party or Democratic Party, teachers should teach students how to gasp the difference between them and find their favors alone. Only by such procedure will students raise independent and appropriate ideology.

Secondly, teachers often get addicted in showing social or political views while doing such deeds(觉得指代不清), resulting in the occupation of time on major course and decreasing the efficiency of education. Take one of my professors as an example. Without elaborating dynamical principles on physical class, he has already immersed in telling several historic events happened recently in China and expressing his political understanding. Although they listen (sound) interesting sometimes, we students haven't achieve any valuable knowledge on(of,貌似木有on的搭配) physics. In a word, unless it's necessary, teachers should not show social or political views in class, in order to protect(retain) the efficiency of education.

From another perspective, of course there exist some exceptions under specific classes. On the(去掉) one hand, during some courses like socialism or politics, teachers perhaps talk something on(in)their opinions, as a template to help students to find(develop) their own thoughts. On the other hand, if students ask questions on socialism or politics related to the course, like definite economical policy basically formulated by some political party, teachers ought to(觉得可以委婉点,不是必须) show their views about that. Beyond that, however, there is no logical reason conducting(to conduct) teacher to do so, in(at,固搭) most of time.

8 ^$ K9 ?4 k0 e8 F+ z5 x+ Q
Summarizing the points above, because of potential misleading and decreasing of education efficiency, teachers should not show their social or political views in classroom, despite several practical exceptions. Their main duty is education, hence they should focus on imparting knowledge. Only by that will students develop themselves health both physically and morally(觉得说法有点别扭 .

整体写的不错,论证也很有说服力~
很多不错的词汇
稍微注意下介词的搭配和固定搭配~
作者: caomiao723    时间: 2010-10-10 13:09:53

改好啦,如有不妥,请见谅!另希望能帮我解答一下问题,谢谢!
作者: zcnvszwj    时间: 2010-10-12 20:14:29

09.03.29 do you agree or disagree, students will not use printed books anymore.  

It is not juicy news any more that someone is using fashionable Ipad, as a sort of electrical book, for study on campus class. This specific case does indicate the probable tendency that traditional printed books will be replaced by various kinds of progressive device, the majority of which are electrical books. As a student, I hold the answer yes to this assumption due to following reasons.
First and foremost, electrical book, or E-book, owns several eminent advantages, which don't belong to printed books and could translate our reading up to an increasingly comfortable status. On one hand, thanks to updated information technology, electrical books comprise almost thousands of times information in a thick and light machine, compared with printed books. For instance, the Great Britain Encyclopedia, occupying a small part of memory in electrical book, must be presented in over one hundred printed books. On the other hand, we could take notes on electrical books limitlessly, without worrying about it may disrupts the book’s integral beauty, which often happens on printed books. In a word, electrical books will absolutely do a big favor to help our reading.
Secondly, beyond reading, electrical books could be regarded as a special type of share tool, helping us to interact with others while reading. Although requiring additional technology, it has come true and becomes increasingly common nowadays. Through the blue-tooth, we could easily receive the professor's computer slides and demonstrate them as a book on this lovely device. What’s more, we could exchange our notes with classmates in or out of the class, via wireless network, to make our study full of efficiency. Hence, not only will the electrical book benefit our reading, but also it could advance our study.
Furthermore, although there is opposite opinion on electrical books’ popularization, insisting on their definite drawbacks, such as the high price and incompletely mature technology. In my opinion, however, these little flaws will surely to be eliminated by the rapid and dramatic development on science. The price's change on Ipad is one practical case on this point. Initially it appeared at about 7000 RMB in China, which now has dropped to 3500 RMB this winter.
Summarizing the points above, I do prefer students will no longer use printed books in the future, for the reason that electrical books is much more helpful in both reading and study, as well as it being increasingly mature. Above that, it's ourselves that decide how much we could assimilate from the books, whether it's printed or electrical.




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