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标题: 《12.20冲刺》IBT写作小组作文贴 by cckkll1994 [打印本页]

作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-12 02:03:11     标题: 《12.20冲刺》IBT写作小组作文贴 by cckkll1994

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-11-30 20:34 编辑

欢迎学哥学姐们批评指导啊


11.11(虽然晚了些,还是贴上吧)


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best way of learning about a foreign country?



In contemporary era when being abroad becomes more and more common,sources to acquire information of an alien land have already draw our attention.Some people believe that newspapers and magazines are the best way of learning about a foreign country,while other people may choose other ways instead,movies,libraries,museum,travelers for examples.Speaking for my self,I prefer the former one.



Regarding movies and stories from travelers,indeed,they can be really interesting and it is likely that we would enjoy ourselves while learning knowledge.But this also demonstrate that we probably cannot concert all our effort on our goal and the information may be easy to be forgotten.Moreover,even we maximum our abilities to remember,the knowledge which is available in medium such as movies and stories,however,is limited.



Newspapers and magazines,on the other hand,are of all kinds and able to cover nearly each and every aspect of a foreign country,such as cultural customs,religious belives
,food and the ways how people relate to each other.Taking the US as an example,we can learn about native American from National Geography,its economy from Wall Street as well as celebrities from Time...Admittedly,for people to learn about a whole country,a single kind of Newspaper or magazine will never be sufficient,thus,we have to keep several types of them.Yet,only under special circumstances when we take Newspapers and magazines of all kinds as resources of information about foreign countries,could we have a complete view of natural and civilized features on them.



As far as I am concerned,the advantages of Newspapers and magazines are also more than those of libraries and museums in the sense that the former ones are rather convenient and practical—we can buy magazines whenever we want and benefit from them wherever we are while the museums of foreign countries can be rarely found in their homeland and libraries often takes a lot of time.



Of course,libraries and museum also have advantages,such as the quantity and quality of
information.But if all these factors are compiled,the advantages of medium like Newspapers and magazines carry more weight then those of other medium.Accordingly ,from what has been discussed above,we could finally draw the conclusion that newspapers and magazines can be the best way of learning about a foreign country.






作者: 942wade    时间: 2010-11-12 22:29:28

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best way of learning about a foreign country?


In contemporary era when being(going比较好, be 表状态的) abroad becomes more and more common, sources to acquire information of an alien land have already draw(drawn) our attention. Some people believe that newspapers and magazines are the best way(复数) of learning about a foreign country, while other people may choose other ways instead, movies, libraries, museum(单复数不一致), travelers for examples. Speaking for my self, I prefer the former one.
Regarding movies and stories from travelers, indeed,(可以将这个插入语挪到theyz之后) they can be really interesting and it is likely that we would(考虑一下could) enjoy ourselves while learning knowledge. But this also demonstrate(s) that we probably cannot concert (concentrate) all our effort(s) on our goal and the information may be easy to be forgotten. Moreover, even we maximum (maximize) our abilities to remember, the knowledge which is available in medium(media) such as movies and stories, however, is limited.
Newspapers and magazines, on the other hand, are of all kinds and able to cover nearly each and every(是否重复呢) aspect of a foreign country, such as cultural customs, religious belives(beliefs) ,food and the ways how people relate to each other. Taking the US as an example, we can learn about native American(s) from National Geography, its economy from Wall Street as well as celebrities from Time...Admittedly, for people to learn about a whole country, a single kind of Newspaper or magazine will never be sufficient, thus, we have to keep several types of them. Yet, only under special circumstances when we take Newspapers and magazines of all kinds as resources of information about foreign countries, could we have a complete view of natural and civilized features on them.
As far as I am concerned, the advantages of Newspapers and magazines are also more than those of libraries and museums in the sense that the former ones are rather convenient and practical—we can buy magazines whenever we want and benefit from them wherever we are(,) while the museums of foreign countries (that) can be rarely found in their homeland and libraries often takes(s) a lot of time.
Of course, libraries and museum(s) also have advantages, such as the quantity and quality of information. But if all these factors are compiled, the advantages of medium like Newspapers and magazines carry more weight then* those of other medium*. Accordingly, from what has been discussed above, we could finally draw the conclusion that newspapers and magazines can be the best way of learning about a foreign country.
感觉说理不是很充分,可以再多一些细节,少一些观点
个人见解,多征求高手意见啊!!
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-15 22:48:54

综合写作TPO10

The lecture raises serious counter argument against the reading passage by providing drastically divergent evidence regarding relevant location,involved species and uneven pattern of otter decline.

To begin with,while the author claims that increasing levels of chemicals from water samples along the Alkaskan coast suggest industrial wastes are more likely to cause the pollution that could decrease the otter’s resistance to lethal infections which leads to their death,the lecturer points out the facts that no one has ever found actual bodies of died otters,and it consists with the predator hypothesis in the sense that if they were taken as preys,there would not be any bodies anymore.

In the next stage,contrary to the author’s statement that in spite of orca that prefer to hunt larger prey such as whales,only could pollution effect the entire system along the coast which caused the decline of not only sea otters and other species as well,the lecturer argues that in recent days when whales are nearly disappeared for human hunting,it is highly possible that orca have changed their diet under special circumstances which has smaller sea mammal on the menu

Lastly, author argument rasied in the lecture is that the uneven pattern of otter decline is due to the certain locations that are accessible to orca,and this directly contradicts what is state is reading passage that suggests the sea currents and other factors which distributes the pollution are to blame.

Accordingly,the contents in reading passage are refuted down to the last point by the speaker has completely distinct ideas on the topic in reading passage.
作者: sad0oo    时间: 2010-11-16 22:25:51

3# cckkll1994
综合写作TPO10

The lecture raises serious counter argument against the reading passage by providing drastically divergent evidence regarding relevant location,involved species and uneven pattern of otter decline.
(感觉太笼统,个人觉得应该直接写出阅读指出了是因为污染这个观点,然而听力指出了是因为predator这个观点)

To begin with,while the author claims that increasing levels of chemicals from water samples along the Alkaskan coast suggest industrial wastes are more likely to cause the pollution that could decrease the otter’s resistance to lethal infections which leads to their death,the lecturer points out the facts that no one has ever found actual bodies of died otters,and it consists with the predator hypothesis in the sense that if they were taken as preys,there would not be any bodies anymore.
& y- d+ O/ M# W2 L4 h& S  p4 C
- c4 W  R6 ^8 _6 \; Y. f
In the next stage,contrary to the author’s statement that in spite of orca that prefer
prefers to hunt larger(large) prey such as whales,only could pollution effect(affects) the entire system along the coast which caused the decline of not only sea otters and other species as well(这句没看懂,结构太奇怪了),the lecturer argues that in recent days when whales are nearly disappeared for(because of) human hunting,it is highly possible that orca have changed their diet under special circumstances which has smaller sea mammal on the(their) menu

Lastly, author argument rasied
raised拼错,语法上不应该有双谓语,变成what the author had raised 更好) in the lecture is that the uneven pattern of otter decline is due to the certain locations that are accessible to orca(表达意思有误,少了一方面,改成is due to the factor whether some certain locations are accessible to orca or not),and this directly contradicts what is statestated is(in) reading passage that(觉得应该用which) suggests +thatthe sea currents and other factors which distributes the pollution are to blame.

Accordingly,the contents in reading passage are refuted down to the last point by the speaker has completely distinct ideas on the topic in reading passage.
(个人觉得可以不要,前面说清楚就可以了)
两点建议:1所有标点后面要有一个空格,这是格式。不要老用逗号,多用点句号。
2句子的结构太长太复杂,读起来很累,觉得一个句子有一个what,that,which之类引导就行了,不要引导之后再引导。个人拙见,仅供参考。
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-16 22:41:27

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-11-16 22:56 编辑

11.16独立写作

Agree or not:Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.



As we all know,there are numerous ways to learn about a country ,such as movies,tv-series,books,magazines and of course,museums.Yet,a debate was raised by some people regarding whether visiting museums is the best way to know about a country and has drawn much attention.Some individuals assert that visiting museums is a much more efficient way to learn,while other people believe in various way to know about a country.Speaking for myself,I am side with the later opinion.

Concerning museums,they,indeed,are more likely to represent the history and development of a country,and even seen as a culture land mark,but this also demonstrate that museums fail to focus on more contemproray issue as well as modern state of a country while time dropped in decay and the wheel of history moved forward.Moreover,it is only when we keep a newspaper or other ways to learn the country that we would have the latest information of that land.

Other sources of knowledge,on the other hand,make it possible for us to learn much more information that is previously unaccessible for us in museums.Taking America as an example,we can learn its landscale from the magazine known as NationalGeography,its economy from newspaper TheWallStreet,and know how people in America relate to each other though its movies,and even more.Are there any of them mentioned before can be seen in museums?I highly doubt it.

As far as I concern,other ways to know a country fit us more in present days,for today people seldom go to museums simply for studying(except history majors).Instead,we spent increasing time on magazines,books and TV programs because of their convenience.

Of course,visiting museums also has its advantages for it enables us to have a much preciser view of the country.But if the factors that we have and have not mentioned above compiled,it is not so hard for us to reach the conclusion that visiting museums is barely one of many ways to learn a country and surely not the best.
作者: lynn27    时间: 2010-11-16 23:03:10

[attach]156655[/attach]
作者: lynn27    时间: 2010-11-17 13:44:59

[attach]156688[/attach]
作者: wanderer_2011    时间: 2010-11-17 14:47:12

提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-17 18:39:41

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-12-7 17:37 编辑

8# wanderer_2011

这个评论真的很简短,给力啊....
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-18 19:04:03

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-11-18 19:07 编辑

11.18独立

Agree or not:it is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends

        As a son of the oriental land,it is our tradition to value the places that we have lived and not leaving born-place unless under certain necessities. And it is coincidently attribute to the factor that mentioned in the writing direction regarding unwillingness of losing friends. However,speaking for myself,I am not side with this opinion in spite of my ancestors' view about this issue.
       First of all,moving to a new city does not necessarily equals to the lost of old friends in the sense that in comtemporary era,I have so much ways to communicate with each other regardless how long distance we've been apart. If we ever want to keep the friendships with our old friends,we simply need to drop a e-mail,have a phone call or pass a message though our mobile phone. Moreover,under special circumstances when we communicate with these "old friends" frequntly,the friendships may become even deeper then before.
      On the other hand,moving into a new city or a country,surrounded by so much strangers and ways of life,we are able to expand our horizon,meet new acquintance and even make new friends. In this way,we would learn a lot whenever we go to a new city and have a more cosmopolitan perspective of things around us. Besides,a new environment is always associated with plenty of opportunities and chances to change our life and it enables us to “explorer the strange new world and boldly go where none of us have ever gone before”(like it said in StarTrek)
      Of course,I have to admit that moving to a new city or a new country does have some side effect,for example,we have to keep in touch with our old friends all the time in order to maintain the relationships... But if all the factors compiled,it’s not so hard for us to reach the conclusion that moving to a new city or a new country may probably be a good thing for us.
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-18 22:45:23

11.18 综合写作

       The lecture raised serious counter argument against the the reading paragraphs bt providing drastically divergent evidence,concerning the exposure to public,access of scientists and the scientific value that might be distroyed during the excavation process.
       Firstly,while the author claims that private collectors who spend fortune to buy those fossils limit the exposure of fossils that ought to be shown in museums to public for they always do not allow others to view their collection,the lecturer points out the fact that it is the fossil trading that allows colleges and museums of lower level to obtain those ancient remains for exhibition and researches.And it is either not true that most collectors forbid people to see their collections.
       In the next stage,contrary to author's statement that many scientists lose their  access those fossils,the lecturer argues that  this case will never happen.Because  it is only the scientists who are capable to determine the true value of fossils that private buyers collect.Therefor, instead of losing the access,scientists are able to see those fossils more frequently.
Lastly,another argument raised in the lecture directly contradict to the opinion mentioned in the reading passage regarding the damages of careless excavation and missing potential value of the original site.The lecturer explained that compare to the value of discovery itself,the regardlessness will be rather irrelevant for there are few excavating programs,and those discoveries means a lot to the researches about
      So the contents in the reading passage are refuted down to the last point by the speaker and the her fully distinct ideas on the topic in the reading passage.
作者: jiaojiaojing198    时间: 2010-11-19 11:34:10

The lecture raised serious counter argument against the the reading paragraphs bt providing drastically divergent evidence,concerning (这样的用法说不出哪里不太舒服,直接跟三个短语,貌似这个句子太长了,第一段就一大句话)the exposure to public,access of scientists and the scientific value that might be distroyed during the excavation process.% w; D+ Q7 Y1 X  X
       Firstly,while the author claims that private collectors who spend fortune to buy those fossils limit the exposure of fossils that ought to be shown in museums to public for they always do not allow others to view their collection,the lecturer points out the fact that it is the fossil trading that(这个结构用的好) allows colleges and museums of lower level to obtain those ancient remains for exhibition and researches.And it is either not true that most collectors forbid people to see their collections.
, `( {3 j2 A9 @' ?0 C9 _9 D7 k       In the next stage,contrary to author's statement that many scientists lose their  access those fossils,the lecturer argues that  this case will never happen.Because  it is only the scientists who are capable to determine the true value of fossils that private buyers collect.Therefor, instead of losing the access,scientists are able to see those fossils more frequently(我听到和理解的是,在这些化石买卖前,那些科学家就已经很好研究过这些化石了).
* ?. R5 W6 j. `Lastly,another argument raised in the lecture directly contradict to the opinion mentioned in the reading passage regarding the damages of careless excavation and missing potential value of the original site(应该加上by the private collectors).The lecturer explained that compare to the value of discovery itself,the regardlessness will be rather irrelevant for there are few excavating programs,and those discoveries means a lot to the researches about" [, H/ {) k* N: (我理解的是,演讲者辨驳说科学家也要碰触化石否则他们无法被挖掘)`
      So the contents in the reading passage are refuted down to the last point by the speaker and the her fully distinct ideas on the topic in the reading passage.
作者: bananaslice    时间: 2010-11-19 14:50:23

你的独立~
作者: wanderer_2011    时间: 2010-11-19 14:52:28

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作者: icecontrol    时间: 2010-11-20 22:09:58

不好意思改晚了~~~


The lecture raised serious counter argument against the the reading paragraphs bt by providing drastically divergent evidence, concerning the exposure to public, access of scientists and the scientific value that might be destroyed destroyed(这个词看了半天都没看出来错,就觉得有点奇怪) during the excavation process.(个人觉得如果把concerning…放到arguments,会不会更好一点,另外删掉by providing…这句应该会更好一些,觉得有些重复~~~; ]& y* S; X$ y
       Firstly, while the author claims that private collectors, who spend fortune to buy those fossils, limit the exposure of fossils that ought to be shown in museums to public, for they always do not allow others to view their collection, the lecturer points out the fact that it is the fossil trading that allows colleges and museums of lower level to obtain those ancient remains for exhibition and researches. And it is either not true that most collectors forbid people to see their collections.
/ ?# I8 @! p* V. I4 |
       In the next stage, contrary to author's statement that many scientists lose their  accesses to those fossils, the lecturer argues that  this case will never happen. Because  it is only the scientists who are capable to determine the true value of fossils that private buyers collect. Therefore, instead of losing the access assess, scientists are able to see those fossils more frequently.
7 m2 M2 w8 \8 w& PLastly, another argument raised in the lecture directly contradict
ed to the opinion mentioned in the reading passage regarding the damages of careless excavation and missing potential value of the original site. The lecturer explained that compare to the value of discovery itself, the regardlessness will be rather irrelevant, for there are few excavating programs, and those discoveries means a lot to the researches about (
这句好像跟LECTURE有点出入,听力中主要说的好像是 有新的发现但出现些小的失误及信息丢失总比一直不被发现好); z+ C+ A" J# D. z# |( i
      So the contents in the reading passage are refuted down to the last point by the speaker and the her fully (??
这个真没看懂,你应该要说的意思是 相当明显的观点, 是吧?)distinct ideas on the topic in the reading passage.
总体还不错,但觉得是不是有些偏长啊,实际考试当中可有没有时间写出这么长,另外有些表述重复,还有你文章的句子让人读起来有些吃力,因为你都没有标点符号。
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-22 22:08:07

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-11-22 22:11 编辑

11.22综合
20min压着点写完的,250字,还得练速度啊

The lecture raises serious counter argument against the reading passage by providing drastically divergent views,regarding the lost during the construction,financial support and the availabilities positions for archeaologists.

To begin with,while the author claims that numbers of valuable artifacts were destroyed during the process of construction projects,the lecturer points out the facts that,according to the new guideline and rules,before any construction starts,the site has to be examined by archeaologists to see whether there are any  ancient artifacts and excavate them,if there are,before the constuction continues.

Secondly,contrary to the writer's statement in the reading passage that lots of archaeologists failed to get enough financial support for the government only fund for the most important and interesting sites while other project may be left without funding,the speaker argues that it is actually not the government that should fund the archaeologists for their,however the construction companies.And that is a whole now resource for archaeologists to do even more research in a even greater rage.

Last,another argument raised in the reading material is that many people who are interested in archaeology cannot find proper jobs and eventually change to other career because there are simply no available positions for them.And this directly contradict to what is state in the lecutre in which the professor asserts that with the new guideline and rules for archaeology,there are much more positions for new archaeologist in nearly all stages of artifacts research,such as drawing preservation plan, excavation and paper writing.

So, the content in the reading passage are refuted down to the last point by the professor and her fully distinctive ideas on the topic in the reading passage.

还是继续套用模板
作者: tuxinyi    时间: 2010-11-23 09:15:18

帮你的改好了。
我用模考写的,结果作文存没了。你就不用帮我改了哈。。。

加油加油~~
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-24 07:15:50

11.23独立作文
Since the beginning of the twentith century when telephone and television were first invented, them have significantly changed the ways people live. In contemporary era,both of them serve a important function in our daily life.Yet, in the meantime, comparing to television, the telephone casts a greater influence on us from my perspective.

Regarding television, indeed, it provides us with all kind of information and entertainment in vivid pictures.However, in spite of televisions, there are other forms of media such as newspapers, radios, magazines and other places like cinemas, theaters, bars for people to relax and have fun. So it is possible that we are able to continue the life without the support of televisions.

Telephone, on the other hand, is necessary and indispensable for us to communicate with each other who are separated in different conmmunities, cities and even distant lands. Imagine a world before the invention of telephone: people have to travel a long way to meet their friends or write letters, which takes few days to reach the other side and another few days for us to get response. How inconvenient it is! Admittedly,even without the help of telephone,the old world thrived and once prospered, but telephone can never be replaced today, for the telephone has speeded up the pace of entire sociaties, while television is only regarded as a new resource of information.

Of course,the television also plays a vital role in our lives, in the sense that every day we upload our self with the latest news and information and probably feel relaxed though the mean of television. Also, it enables a lot fancy art, music and movies to introduce themselves to people, therefore television serves a part of culture spreader as well.

However, if we take all the factors we have and have not mentioned in to our consideration, it is not so hard for us to reach the conclusion that the telephone has greater effects on people than television.
作者: chenyyalex    时间: 2010-11-24 09:12:56

提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽
作者: 莫莫吟    时间: 2010-11-24 13:21:06

本帖最后由 莫莫吟 于 2010-11-24 13:25 编辑

Since the beginning of the twentith (twentieth)century when telephone and television were first invented, them have significantly changed the ways people live. In contemporary era,both of them serve (as) a important function in our daily life.Yet, in the meantime, comparing to television, the telephone casts a greater influence on us from my perspective.6 ]+ L. ~& I( u/ S2 B" f/ y

Regarding television, indeed, it provides us with all kind of information and entertainment in vivid pictures.However, in spite of televisions, there are other forms of media such as newspapers, radios, magazines and other places like cinemas, theaters, bars for people to relax and have fun. So it is possible that we are able to continue the life without the support of televisions.) t+ j7 q% j$ u! m9 \6 b

Telephone, on the other hand, is necessary and indispensable for us to communicate with each other who are separated in different conmmunities, cities and even distant lands. Imagine a world before the invention of telephone
people have to travel a long way to meet their friends or write letters, which takes few days to reach the other side and another few days for us to get response. How inconvenient it is! ( Good) Admittedly,even without the help of telephone,the old world thrived and once prospered, but telephone can never be replaced today, for the telephone has speeded up the pace of entire sociaties, while television is only regarded as a new resource of information.$ c& l% ?% {8 {  V' o( F
( d1 q" i  g# P" G5 M. ~
Of course,the television also plays a vital role in our lives, in the sense that every day we upload our self with the latest news and information and probably feel relaxed though the mean of television. Also, it enables a lot fancy art, music and movies to introduce themselves to people, therefore television serves
as) a part of culture spreader as well.7 d( s1 R, V" O+ V) |: O
. w+ j/ w/ I3 N7 J& ^  J
However, if we take all the factors we have
have had and have not mentioned in to 去掉)our consideration, it is not so hard for us to reach the conclusion that the telephone has greater effects on people than television.
同学我觉得你写的很好呀,看了你的我觉得我跑题了。。。
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-24 20:31:13

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-11-24 20:32 编辑

In contemporary era,when the pace of our life becomes faster and faster,we ask our selves:do we have to behave as politely as the old time in this busy and crowded world? Some individuals somehow believe it could be much efficient and save us a lot time if we get our job done directly regardless our manner or certain procedure,while others assert that we should always behave ourselves and be polite to each other. Speaking for myself,I agree with the later perspective.
      Regarding the former idea that it is acceptable for people not to behave politely,we,indeed,are able to bypass some complicated steps of communication ,which will save us time in some degree----but how much time could really be saved? Moreover,it also demonstrate that we are unlikely to have much help from other people in this way for our not-so-pleasing attitude.
     Concerning our manners,on the other hand,would enable us to acquainte with people well and even have more friends,which are always associated with support and opportunities. In this way we may find it easier to live in this busy and crowded world today.
      Besides,being polite to others reflects one of the most precious virtue of people,civility. Only if we keep those good qulities to ourselves,would we able to find  our ways of life.
      Of course,being straight has it advantages,such as efficiency,no constraint of etiquette... But if all the factors that we have and have not mentioned compiled,it is not so hard to see the benefits of courtesy weight more than its inconvenience. Accordingly,we could finally draw the conclusion that people should be polite to each other even in todays busy and crowded world.

我总有种感觉,这篇写得有些一般,不过至少40分钟写出来了
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-24 23:22:36

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-11-25 13:45 编辑

11.24综合
练速度啊这次超了10min
      The lecture raise serious counter arguments against the reading passage by providing drastically divergent evidence and views regarding the three solutions of preserving Torreya.
      Firstly, while the author suggests the opinion that we could replant more Torreya trees at the very place where them have prospered for thousands of years, the lecturer points out the fact that the microclamite that is cast a essential role of their living has been effected by farming activities,globe warming and other factors and become drier than before. So it is unlikely that Torreya will thrive again in those regions.
Secondly,contrary to the writer's statement that people have option to relocate Torreya to an colder area which is more suitable for Torreya to live as  an assisted migration, the speaker argues that is highly risky ,conerning the case that when people move a kind of trees to the north years ago, they nearly exterminated most other plants.
      Lastly, another suggestion stated in the reading material that we could keep Torreya in reserach centers in order to protect and study them for their long existence is refuted down by the lecturer. She explans that if we preserve Torreya only in research labs, it is impossible for Torreya to reach a population that enables it to fight against diseases and survive because of the poor genetic varieties.
So,the lecturer's opinions are directly against the suggestions provided by the author.
(结尾没结好)
作者: FannieHsu    时间: 2010-11-25 17:15:53

The lecture raises serious counter arguments against the reading passage by providing drastically divergent evidence and views regarding the three solutions of preserving Torreya.
Firstly, while the author suggests the opinion that we could replant more Torreya trees at the very place where them have prospered for thousands of years, the lecturer points out the fact that the microclamite(拼写问题) that is cast a essential role of their living has been effected by farming activities,globe warming and other factors and become drier than before. So it is unlikely that Torreya will thrive again in those regions.
Secondly,contrary to the writer's statement that people have option to relocate Torreya to an colder area which is more suitable for Torreya to live as  an assisted migration,(这句写得很好) the speaker argues that is highly risky ,conerning the case that when people move a kind of trees to the north years ago, they nearly exterminated most other plants。
      Lastly, another suggestion stated in the reading material that we could keep Torreya in reserach centers in order to protect and study them for their long existence is refuted down by the lecturer. She explans that if we preserve Torreya only in research labs, it is impossible for Torreya to reach a population that enables it to fight against diseases and survive because of the poor genetic varieties.
So,the lecturer's opinions are directly against the suggestions provided by the author.

综合写作一般不需要结尾,这个结尾的确有些仓促,实战的时候可以去掉,分数还可能再高点
作者: kaolaliang    时间: 2010-11-25 22:20:44

第2段:globe warming and other factors and become drier than before  
(other factors 是 wet land through Florida has been XXX 没听懂(driven? 还是什么)) 我听力有严重的问题

第3段虽然没写出Black Tree 但写出了这个考点。

我的观点和楼上FannieHsu一样,结尾不是主要得分点,主要的还是尽可能多写出听力的点,这点楼主做的很好,向你学习
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-28 22:26:53

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-11-28 22:28 编辑

11.27
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life.



The most important feature for human to distinct from other mammals is the ability to learn.Every day,we assimilate information and learn in various ways,such as reading,taking classes,watch television,reading papers and magazines,[url=]ect[/url].Yet,whether we can more from playing sports has raise much debate amount [url=]educaters[/url] and even ordinary people.Some individuals assert that sports teaches more lessons about the life,while others believe that physical exercise is no more than a training of out bodies.Speaking for myself, I am side with that former view.

To begin with,sports are more than just series of physical exercises, however,each of them [url=]conveys[/url] messages and always represent a certain sprite even from its very beginning.For example, marathon,a popular long-distance running sports which is usually hold in spring and fall,is originate from the great war between Persia and Greek alliance.There was a campaign took [url=]palce[/url] is a city named marathon,the campaign was bloody and many soldiers lied down there forever.After days of siege,the city became a place of ruins,but finally the Greek defeated Persian army and retook the city.A Greek soldier run several days, without sleep or even rest, to Athens to convey the massage  of vitory. When he reach the capital,he shouted the news of the triumph,and died then. Dedicate to the memory of the soldier, people invented the sport and named as Marathon.A sprite of fortitude,a sense of sacrifice they passed with the sport after thousands of years,and this is what the sport teaches us.

Secondly, most of sports are regarded as team work, such as football,basketball and tennis.To play these sports,people have to work together, cooperate with each and every member of the team to reach the goal. Therefore, we learned the team sprite though many sports and this is another thing that sports teach us.

From all that we have and haven’t discussed,is is not so hard for us to reach the conclusion that playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life.
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-30 13:48:42

11.30 TPO5

The lecturer raises serious counter argument against the reading passage concerning the useage of Chaco “great houses” by providing drastically divigent evidence.

To begin with,while the author claims that the houses might be used for residential purpose because of the similarities between the “great houses” and later “apartment buildings” at Taos,the lecturer points out the fact that there are so few fire places and individual rooms that it is unlikely the houses are function as apartment buildings.

Secondly,contrary to the hypothesis mentioned in the reading passage that the houses are possibly for food storage,such as maize,the sperker argues that this case is contradicted by evidence that excavations showed there is no sign of maize remain or other food traces.

Lastly,another argument raised in the lecture directly refute the possibility from the reading material that the “great houses” served as a ritual role in Chaco society in the sense that massive of pots found in mound around these houses suggests that Chaco people feasted in the ceremonies and dropped those dished later.The lecturer explains that many other things that have no relevance with ceremony have also been found at the mound,such as building material,tools and other trash.
作者: kitther    时间: 2010-11-30 19:59:07

1127 revised by Kitther      单词拼写有几个错误,楼组自己改改吧。
      汉语思维比较典型,和我一样。
      "is originate from" 语法不对,不要is。
      "There was a campaign took [url=]palce[/url] is a city named marathon,the campaign was bloody and many soldiers lied down there forever." 改成 there was a bloody campaign took place in city Marathon, and many soldiers died in the battle.
         "To play these sports,people have to work together, cooperate with each and every member of the team to reach the goal. "改成"To reach their goal, teammates cooperate with each other tightly in the game."
        多读一读好的范文吧,一起努力。
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-30 20:33:00     标题: zw

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-11-30 20:35 编辑

zw
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-11-30 23:08:32

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-11-30 23:12 编辑

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers’ salaries6



    In contemporary era, it is universally accepted that the issue of education is cast a increasing crucial role in a country’s development.Yet, in the meantime,whether increase the salaries of teachers is the best way to improve the quality of education has sparked much debate.While some individuals believes that up-lifting the payment of teachers will make a beneficial change of the current circumstance,some other people assert that increasing teachers’ salaries is merely one of many ways to enhance the education qualities.Speaking for myself,I am side with the later view.

    Concerning paying more to teachers, it, indeed, may attract more young people to choose education major and to become educators then. But it also demonstrates that the possitive effect will appear much later than the time we "invest" Moreover, it is not an exact science that there is surely going to be much more individuals choosing educational career in the future.


    On the other hand,if we concert our effort on something more practical the benefits would be immediate.Firstly,government could spend more money to establish a more mature basic education system and update the "hardware" in primary and middle schools, such as projectors, schoolbuildings,g rass playgrounds,etc.Then,they also have options to pay attention on higher study which means universities, for the universities are now function a more vital role in scientific research fields and much more high-school graduated students choose attending to universities.Adimittedly,these enhancement may not have a wide-spread influence as increasing salaries of teachers.Yet, only in these ways,are we able to actually improve the quality of education instead of making predictions.

    Of course, up-lifting teachers' payment has its own advantages,such as alleviating teachers'  pressure and attracting more people to enter education career.However,if all the factors we have and have not discussed compile, it is not so hard for us to discover that the benefits of increasing the salaries of teachers are insufficient for people to consider it as the most essential means to enhance the qualities of education.



作者: kaolaliang    时间: 2010-12-1 17:37:07

已改
作者: 兔子加油    时间: 2010-12-1 21:37:21

改11.30日综合 TPO5
The lecturer raises serious counter argument against the reading passage concerning the useage of Chaco “great houses” by providing drastically divigent evidence

To begin with,while the author claims that the houses might be used for residential purpose because of the similarities between the “great houses” and later “apartment buildings” at Taos,the lecturer points out the fact that there are so few fire places and individual rooms that it is unlikely the houses are function as apartment buildings. 楼主换成和总结的功夫很厉害,这样子简洁而有力,要想楼主学习。

Secondly,contrary to the hypothesis mentioned in the reading passage that the houses are possibly for food storage,such as maize,the sperker argues that this case is contradicted by evidence that excavations showed there is no sign of maize remain or other food traces基本点也听出来了,最后还有一个小细节就是maize container那个,不知道那个细节是不是可要可不要的?

Lastly,another argument raised in the lecture directly refute the possibility from the reading material that the “great houses” served as a ritual role in Chaco society in the sense that massive of pots found in mound around these houses suggests that Chaco people feasted in the ceremonies and dropped those dished later.The lecturer explains that many other things that have no relevance with ceremony have also been found at the mound,such as building material,tools and other trash。强大的听力+强大的总结力。楼主真的很强就是了,这样也不会超时间。。。真的要努力,我也跟楼主一样要冲刺了,加油
作者: 兔子加油    时间: 2010-12-1 21:51:05

不过楼主我还是有疑问的,到底综合是应该总结浓缩好还是越多细节越好?
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-2 00:13:59

12.01独立

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.



In contemporary era,it is universally accepted that advertisment has played an increasingly in-ignorable part of our daily life and indispensable role of commercial system.Yet,as more and more people tend to live with a unhealthy life style,we begin to ask whether advertising has left a major influence on people , which lead to unhealthy ways of life.Some individuals tend to agree with the assumption, while other believe otherwise.Speaking for myself,I am side with the later view.

Concerning advertising,it,indeed, is cast a vital intermediate in conveying information include those about junk food and other unhealthy habits.Yet,in the meantime, this also demonstrate that advertisements function on more than messagers who provide us options,and the real options are still depend on us.

Moreover,in spite of advertising, there are numerous factors remain.One probable course of unhealthy eating habits is believed to be the unawareness of the potential consequenses of bad life styles,in the sense that those side-effects seems to be too miner to notice.Therefore, people might not take their unfit habits seriously and pay more attention on them.

Besides,according to recent researches conducted by teams of China Medical University, it apears that the blood type also has a close connection with person’s assimilation tendency.For example.People of blood type tend to favor more on sugars and food tasted sweet,while people of blood type ,on the contrary, will more likely to eat less sweet food.

Of course,the advertising has its impacts on people’s unhealthy eating habits,However,if all the factors we have and have not mentioned compile,it is not hard for us to reach the conclusion that advertising is merely one of the causes that lead to unhealthy eating habits.
作者: lya007    时间: 2010-12-2 21:12:03

In contemporary era,it is universally accepted that advertisment has played an increasingly in-ignorable part of our daily life and indispensable role of commercial system.Yet,as more and more people tend to live with a(改为an) unhealthy life style,we begin to ask whether advertising has left a major influence on people , which lead to unhealthy ways of life.Some individuals tend to agree with the assumption, while other believe otherwise.Speaking for myself,I am side with the later view.
Concerning advertising,it,indeed, is cast a vital intermediate in conveying information include (改为including)those about junk food and other unhealthy habits.Yet,in the meantime, this also demonstrate that advertisements function on more than messagers who provide us options,and the real options are still depend on us.
Z, j4 a8 ~
Moreover,in spite of advertising, there are numerous factors remain.One probable course of unhealthy eating habits is believed to be the unawareness of the potential consequenses of bad life styles,in the sense that those side-effects seems to be too miner to notice.Therefore, people might not take their unfit habits seriously and pay more attention on them.与上段形成递进关系很有说服力,写的非常好,学习了。: j8 Y4 G- \# t
7 j1 a8 s1 A4 g, j; v( Z, }
Besides,according to recent researches conducted by teams of China Medical University, it apears that the blood type also has a close connection with person’s assimilation tendency.For example.People of blood type tend to favor more on sugars and food tasted sweet,while people of blood type ,on the contrary, will more likely to eat less sweet food.与上段并列,调查很有说服力。
/ L0 A8 I
Of course,the advertising has its impacts on people’s unhealthy eating habits,However,if all the factors we have and have not mentioned compile,it is not hard for us to reach the conclusion that advertising is merely one of the causes that lead to unhealthy eating habits.
楼主写的非常好啊,文章结构严密,很有说服力和论证效果。向你学习。加油!. A+ [2 X*

作者: 兔子加油    时间: 2010-12-2 22:36:32

你的独立我晚点再改哦好么,刚刚从学校回来,参加了一个ERP沙盘比赛还要整理复赛资料。所以,不好意思了,明天给你改好,加油!
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-3 00:10:57

12.02
综合

   The lecturer raises serious counter argument against the reading paragraphs by providing drastically divergent perspectives regarding whether american wood companies would catch the international standards of conserving resources recycling materials to acquire the ecological certifications.

     Firstly,while the author claims that there has been so much advertising in americans’ life that people might pay little attention to those ecocertification, for they generally cast doubts on advertisements, the lecturer points out the fact that consumers do not treat all advertisements the same, in the sense that they are able to distinguish certifications for independent agencies with international authorities from normal advertisments.Therefore,it is unlikely for the certification to be ignored.

      In the next stage,contrary to the author’s statement that wood companies have to pay extra fund to examining agencies in order to acquire ecological certification,which lead to a higher prime cost of their product----since many people prefer to buy cheaper goods, those company will be in a lower han,the speaker argues that this case will never happen. Because, according to research, it is only under special circumstances when a products’ price is much higher or lower than another products’, would consumers alone depend on the price exclusively.Undoubtedly,the price distance about only 5% cause by certifications will never reach that hight.

     Lastly,another argument raise in the lecture directly contradict to what is state in the reading passage that most american wood companies focus their targets within the U.S, and subsequently,it is rather not essential to match the international standards.The professor explans that the issue is not about orientation,but competition---if domestic companies fail to catch up with their opponents, many foreign wood producers would soon swarm into american land.


速度啊速度啊,又超了五分钟
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-3 00:58:56

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-12-3 01:01 编辑

12.03 TPO8
The lecturer raises serious counter argument against the reading paragraphs by providing drastically divergent evidence concerning whether Chebanller de Llstenning’s memoir is accurate.

To begin with,while the author claims that evidence showed Chebanller had borrowed large amount of money from a Swiss merchant,which indicate he could hardly be a rich man-----for if he was,consequentlly, he would not need to borrow the money, the lecturer points out the fact that even a very porsperous person will have to wait several days to convert his possessions into cashes in order to hold parties and participate in gamblings. In the process,he might need to borrow money.Therefore,it is unlikely that this evidence or accuse is a reasonable

Secondly,contrary to the critics’ doubts that there is no way for Chevalier to remember the conversations happened years ago as they were written on his memoir, the speaker argues that according to Chevalier’s word,he had written down most of his conversations with Voltaire on notes .Undoubtedly, during his writing of memoir, he refered to his note several times.

Lastly,another argument raised in the lecture directly contradict to what is sate in the reading material regarding the Venetian prison that instead of escape he was “bought” out by his friends , in the sense that he has a wide and infuluential connection web.The professor explans that many people in the person who have even more powerful acquaintance did never escape.And refering to the Venetian official log, soon after his escape the celling had to be repaired and this could be another evidence suggesting what he told is accurate.
这篇按时写完的
作者: 兔子加油    时间: 2010-12-3 18:35:29

作文改好了,抱歉晚了
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-4 07:30:13

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-12-4 19:12 编辑

10.12.03 独立(综合在前面)
In contemporary era, it is universallyaccepted that parents treat their children more and more “considerate”.Yet,inthe mean time,whether children should study or play only and don’t have to dohousehold chores has sparked much debate.Some individuals assert that by doinghousing activities children could learn and benefit more, while others believeotherwise.Speaking for myself, I am side with the former perspective.


At the first glance,it seems that choresand daily housework can never be associated with children for it ,indeed,takesa lot of time from children which might be spent on other things like studying,playing,reading or something else.However, it also demonstrates that in thisway,children may gradually become bookworms without concerns or actualexperience of life.Taken me as an example,when I was at the age of thirteen,Iwas sent to a board school for my high school study.Since I never have anyexperience about household, I went although a really hard time to make do on myown.And suddenly I realized how hard it would be for my mother to handle thedouble job before.Moreover, children would fail to understand how hard theirparents are and think as if everything is what it should be.In the sense theydo not understand and realize the difficulties of even daily housing works, itis possible that children become reckless or even worse.


Housework and chores,on the other hand,willcast a subtle influence on children which with sense of responsibility ,gratitude for their parents dedication and practical skills of life, none ofwhich could be read on book or taught at school.Besides,by doingchores,children can alleviate their parents’ pressure. Regarding children, asmembers of family it is rather reasonable to share the daily tasks with their parents.


Of course,hours will be spent if they choseto do so, it might a little waste of time from our perspective, yet, we shouldalways remember that children are doing this for a good reason.And from all wehave and have not yet discussed,it is not so hard for us the draw theconclusion that hosehold and chores played a important role in childrens development.
作者: WoYaoChiJiTui    时间: 2010-12-4 10:35:57

没有找到12月3日的独立作业,上传后PM我一下吧
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-4 13:47:23

12.04
综合 tpo 9

      The lecturer raised serious counter argument towards the reading paragraph by providing drastically divergent evidences,regarding whether hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines will become the most ideal substitution of current internal-combustion engines.
      Firstly,while the author claims that compared with internal-combustion engines, the fuel-cell engines have much wider ranges of resources in the sense that hydrogen can be acquired in many renewable ways, the lecturer points out the fact that even with today’s technology, it is rather difficult for people to purify the hydrogen to a level which is suitable for automobiles, and the cooling tech-requirements are too sophisticated to be mass applied.So,it is unlikely that the fuel problem will be ever solved.
      In the next stage,contrary to the author’s statement that Hydrogen fuel-cell engines emit less pollution than internal-combustion engines, the speaker argues that this case will not happen,at least not now. Because during the production of purified hydrogen, the factory will have to use more carbon and oil, which leads to---heavier pollution.
      At last,the another argument raised in the lecture directly contradict to what is state in the reading material that the efficiency of fuel-cell engines is nearly double than that of nowadays engines, which may save people a lot of money.The lecturer explains that if people take the expanse of the engine itself into account then, it will not be so optimistic since the engines consist of component made of a rare metal known as Pt.


作者: WoYaoChiJiTui    时间: 2010-12-4 18:01:58

12月3日独立 已改, 请查收
作者: 5huihui    时间: 2010-12-4 21:06:31

1203综合
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-5 10:28:04

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-12-5 15:56 编辑

1204
People always seek success no matter when or where they are.Recently,a saying raised by some people claims that it would be much easier for them to reach success if they were in the old world.It is not a simple complain in their perspective,since they believe that with less population,there would be less competitions in the old world.Yet,speaking for myself,I disagree with this statement.

Regarding the past,there,indeed,were less competitions than today,however they failed to count on the unstable global situation including the two World Wars and twentieth century’s financial crysis which severley struck economy in most of world and led to serious consequences.Moreover,the rather basic technology and exchange of information in the past could be another obstacle for their success.

Contemporary era,on the other hand, is obvious at a more peaceful state in general,in spite of few regional conflicts in middle-east.Therefore,people today,will able to pay more attention to their own career without distraction of the “outside environment”

The rapidly updating technology also plays a vital role in one’s success nowaday in the sense that it provides us plenty of information and even opportunities.For example,with the emerging and popularization of internet,online shopping has become quite common amount people.One could easily open a shop on the internet and then set his first step towards success.Also,had Evan Williams(the creator of "twitter") not taken advantages of modern technology,such as internet ,he would not have been one of the most distinguished person in the world.

Of course,the old world has its advantages,such as sufficient space of potential value,the less competitions.But if all the factors compled,the advantages of nowadays circumstance carry more weight than those of the past.Accordingly ,from what has and has not been  discussed above,we may finally draw the conclusion that today’s world can be a better environment for us to achieve success.
作者: 嘉木香草    时间: 2010-12-5 16:17:16

已改好~~
作者: bananaslice    时间: 2010-12-5 17:51:16

改好了~写的不错呢~加油
作者: Pros    时间: 2010-12-6 14:44:19

1204

晚写也晚改了。 抱歉。

PS:LZ是1220考?不在国内阿。

[attach]157981[/attach]
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-6 23:41:13

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-12-7 00:13 编辑

12.06
独立
     In contemporary era,it is extensively acknowledged that the issue of acquiring job is playing vitally critical role in in-coming future of young people. Yet,meanwhile, whether they should  take several distinct kinds of job before they take a career in a long term or not should be given preferential options has sparked much debate amount students as well as the youngs. Speaking for myself, I am side with the positive view.

       Concerning choosing a long term career, we might be able to settle ourselves down sooner, but a it also demonstrate that we would have to give up the possibilities of finding a better job. In this world of opportunities, chance is everywhere waiting for people to discover,to excavate. Will it be wise to abandon all those potential treasures while we still have our capital to take our chance? Moreover it is only when we settle down too soon will we lose the excitement to experience other ways to live.

       Thinking twice before we set our mind, on the other hand,will allow us to ask ourselves:whether this job fits me well,whether I am interested in the work,whether it will waste my expertise...So many factors should we consider before we decide,so much unknown awaits for us to experience. For instance,my elder brother Hong who graduated from university three years ago, received a job offer as a programmer nearly immediate after his graduation. No doubt he accepted it.However, he ,not quite satisfied with that occupation, quited the company and jumped to another.After five times like this,he finally decided to take a long-term career—in Xichang Satellites Control center.

       Admittedly, vary job from to time would definitely involve a certain amount of risks. Yet only under special circumstances when we take those acceptable risks would we able to seize the oppotunities and have a larger circle of friends and acquaintances.

      Of course, both side have advantages, but if all the factors compiled,the advantages of taking several jobs before taking a career in a long term carries more weight than those the other side. Aaccordingly, from what we have discussed above,we may finally draw the conclusion that it could be better for young people to experience more ways of life before the make their decision.
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-7 07:11:41

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-12-7 07:25 编辑

综合
12.06

      The professor raise serious counter argument against the reading paragraphs by providing drastically divergent explanations towards the same phenomenons which may refer to the decline of sea otter.
      To begin with, while the author claims that the decreasing number of sea otter is probably caused by water pollution since the water sample in certain area has exhibited up-lifted levels of chemical wastes’ ability to affect sea otters' resistance to lethal infection, the lecturer points out the fact that actually no dead body has ever been found along the coas, which is in favor the predation theory for if they are taken as preys, there obviously won’t be any bodies.
      In the next stage, contrary to the reading writers’ idea that other sea mammals near Alaskan coast are also decline can be attribute to the environment pollution for the only alternative explanation regarding predation of orca is less possible because they prefer to have larger preys such as whales, the professor argues that this case is most unlikely, since most of the whales along Alaskan has been hunt down by human, the orca could simple change their diet.
      Lastly, another argument raised in the lecture directly contradict to what is state in the reading material that the uneven patter of otter decline may created by environmental factor such as currents.The lecturer explains that the uneven pattern may more likely depend on the areas that are accessible for orca.
     Therefore the reading passage are refuted down to the last point by the professor and her her fully distinctive ideas on the topics in the reading passage.


作者: luckybabynanfu    时间: 2010-12-7 13:34:41

本帖最后由 luckybabynanfu 于 2010-12-7 13:39 编辑

Incontemporary era, it is extensively acknowledged that the issue of)多余 acquiring job is playing vitally critical(重复,用一个就好) role in in-coming future
(重复,future不就是in-coming?of young people.
(从句中主语“acquiring job
谓语is playing a role …然后in the future of youngpeople. “工作在年轻人的未来扮演重要角色”
这句话有点奇怪。你再体会下……你要表达的意思是:it is important for the youthto get a job.或者jot is of great importance in one’s life.对么?
)



Yet,meanwhile,whether they should  take several distinct kinds of job before theytake a career in a long term or not should be given preferential options hassparked much debateamount students as well as the youngs(重复的废话). Speaking for myself, I am side with(站在某一边,side with 不用系动词) the positive view.% [! C; ^. h2 `7 B- B* k

       Concerning choosing along term career, we might be able to settle ourselves down sooner, but a italso demonstrate that we would have to give up the possibilities of finding abetter job. In this world of opportunities, chance is everywhere waiting forpeople to discover,to excavate. Will it be wise to abandon all those potentialtreasures while we still have our capital to take our chance?
Moreover it is only when wesettle down too soon will we lose the excitement to experience other ways tolive. ( Moreover, the fact usuallygoes in this way: we settle down so prematurely that we lose courage andpassion to experience alternative living style! `J)
      Thinking twice before we set our mind, on the other hand, willallow us to ask ourselves:whether this job fits me well,whether I am interestedin the work,whether it will waste my expertise...So many factors should weconsider before we decide,so much unknown awaits for us to experience. Forinstance,my elder brother Hong who graduated from university three years ago,received a job offer as a programmer nearly immediate after his graduation. Nodoubt he accepted it.However, he ,not quite satisfied with that occupation,quited the company and jumped to another.After five times like this,he finallydecided to take a long-term career—in Xichang Satellites Control center.

       Admittedly,
vary job from to time? (Skippingfrom job to job) woulddefinitely involve certain amount of risks. Yet only under specialcircumstances when we take those acceptable risks would we able to seize theoppotunities and have a larger circle of friends and acquaintances.
(这是让步说换工作的不好吧,一般让步在第一段(反正正的结构),或者只在段内让步。因为看到前面都已经表达你的观点了,到中间又用一整段来表示对方观点的好处,会有点分量太重)
   Of course, both side(sides) have advantages, butif all the factors compiled,the advantages of taking several jobs before takinga career in a long term carries more weight than those the other side. (这一句同理,都已经最后一段了,没有必要说both sides have advantages 了,因为你不是写成折中风格的,而是强化自己的观点)
Aaccordingly,from what we have discussed above,we may finally draw the conclusion that itcould be better for young people to experience more ways of life before themake their decision.




总体感觉,为了要增加字数和效果,讲了不少很虚的废话。实质的内容比较少。表达自己的观点不够明确,即使有观点,也没有展开,支撑的内容比较少。


呵呵,我自己写也会有这些问题,但还是说的比较直接~ 不好意思了
作者: luckybabynanfu    时间: 2010-12-7 13:45:21

不能上传附件,贴上来格式又全乱了。。。弄了几遍都没弄好,s:dizzy:orry。
作者: Pros    时间: 2010-12-7 15:11:47

1206改好了。

[attach]158161[/attach]
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-7 15:46:26

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-12-7 23:35 编辑

12.07
独立,最近作文写的感觉不太好,就那以前的笔记总结了一下,这次写来看看
(不过写作速度确实比原来快了很多 38min 380词 6s/word其实也不是很快)

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.


     In contemporary era ,it has been extensively acknowledged that ,together job demands, the issue of salaries, has no doubt plays a important role in nowadays society .Yet, meanwhile, whether a job with a high salary but less vacation time or a job with more vacation time but a low salary should be given preferential options has sparked much controversy. Some individuals hold the opinion that jobs with high salaries have fundimentally benificial impacts while some others, believe otherwise. Speaking for myself, I side with the later view.

     Regarding the jobs with little vacation time, indeed ,it provides us more money, which is unquestionablly essential for our life. But it also demonstrates that we would have less leisure time. Would cashes be of any use when we simplly do not have time walking around in shopping malls ? Moreover, had we chosen this kind of jobs, to some degree, we would not have been able to spend much time with our families and friends, which would be very very bad, at least for me.(现在觉得那个very very bad 有点显眼,可以无视,换成detrimental把)

      Jobs with more vacation time, on the other hand, not only enable us to lead a relatively gentle pace of life but also help us stay a rather healthier condition, both physical and mental, and allow us to enjoy our life with others, since there is less pressure upon us. My older brother Hong, for example, after graduating from university, he received a job opportunity working in an famous company as white collar worker, of courese he accepted it. However, before long he found the job tiring and jumped to another job as a computer programmer. Though the new job does not pay as much as the old one, but my brother has made do very well, in the sense that the new job offers a lot vacation for him. This sort of example in which happiness as well as satisfication do exsist in lower-paying jobs is not rare.

     Of coures, the jobs with high salary do have some advantages, still, if all the factors we have and have not mentioned above compiled , lower-paying jobs with more vacations are too tempting not to be chosen for me.
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-7 17:01:41

12.07
intergrate


The professor raises serious counter argument against the reading paragraphs by providing drastically divergent perspectives upon some of today’s phenomenons regarding whether the decreasing of literature indicates the decline the general culture.

Firstly, while the author claims that literature exclusively provides people intellectual stimulation, encourages our imaginations, expands knowledge about languages , the lecturer argues that there are always form of books such as science magazines, istory book and political critics which also are creative and offers intellectual stimulates as the literature does.

In the next stage, contrary to the author’s statement that in contemporary era, many people are being distracted by various books of poor quality, music video, internet as well as television, the speaker points out the fact that culture has evolved over time, and non-literal cultures like movies and music are even more concerning our life than literature.

Lastly,another argument raised in the lecture, and this directly contradict to what is state in the reading material that people and publishers now pay less attention on literatures in spite of how brilliant they are. The lecturer argues that modern literatures are mostly too hard to understand. Consequently, people show less enthusiasm to them.

Accordingly, the reading passage are refuted down to the last point by the speaker and the speaker has fully distinct ideas on the topics in the reading passage.
作者: bananaslice    时间: 2010-12-7 19:37:00

The professor raise (raises) serious counter (这词加在里面是做什么?) argument against the reading paragraphs by providing drastically divergent explanations towards the same phenomenon which may refer to the decline of sea otter.
      To begin with, while the author claims that the decreasing number of sea otter is probably caused by water pollution since the water sample in certain area has exhibited up-lifted levels of chemical wastes’ ability to affect sea otters' resistance to lethal infection, the lecturer points out the fact that actually no dead body has ever been found along the coas (coast), which is in favor the predation theory for if they are taken as preys, there obviously won’t be any bodies.
      In the next stage, contrary to the reading writers’ idea that other sea mammals near Alaskan coast are also decline can be attribute to the environment pollution for the only alternative explanation regarding predation of orca is less possible because they prefer to have larger preys such as whales, the professor argues that this case is most unlikely, since most of the whales along Alaskan has been hunt down by human, the orca could simple change their diet.这里能多说点听力的内容就好了
      Lastly, another argument raised in the lecture directly contradict to what is state in the reading material that the uneven patter of otter decline may created by environmental factor such as currents. The lecturer explains that the uneven pattern may more likely depend on the areas that are accessible for orca.6 o+ c" [  h7 v0 F) G& E
     Therefore the reading passage are refuted down to the last point by the professor and her her fully distinctive ideas on the topics in the reading passage.
作者: EEEE456258    时间: 2010-12-8 12:37:20

本帖最后由 EEEE456258 于 2010-12-8 12:40 编辑

写得好 没什么要改的 学习
作者: 泰迪是只熊    时间: 2010-12-8 16:49:30

好了,有些晚了~
作者: EEEE456258    时间: 2010-12-8 22:20:54

楼主
我不是偏心呀
实在是心有余而力不足
一般我只对形式 不对内容发表意见
下次只有着重看内容了
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-9 00:24:49

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-12-9 00:36 编辑

12.07 independent
In contemporary era, when the pace of our life becomes increasingly fast, will it still be necessary for us to behave as polite as the way before? Recently, a controversy has raised amount people, regarding the this question. While some individuals claims that it will be much efficient if we skip those so-called courtesy and pursuing our goal straight without any distractions, other people believe otherwise. Speaking for myself, I side with the later viewpoint.

   Concerning working without bothering behave polite and acquaintance to others, it, indeed, saves us time and brings convenience in some degree. But how much time could be saved; how much convenience will it brings? Is it really worthy enough for us to take the risk of losing the help from other people, which could has been very helpful, and facing our journey alone in a world full of strangers? I assume everyone has already had their answer.

   Courteous behaving, on the other hand, will not only enable us to impress others, but also help us to focus on the things that people have in common and tolerate the differences. In this way we can have more friends of a wide spectrum,which,in another word, are opportunities of greater chance. Moreover, politeness is always regarded as a vital part of our characteristics. it is only under special circumstances when we keep being polite to others, would we be able to keep from losing ourselves from what and who we are.

Admittedly, pursuing our goals directly has its advantages, however, if all the factors that we have and have not mentioned before complied , the advantages of courtesy weight more that those of the other one. Consequently, it won't be so hard for us to reach the conclusion that even in present day society, being polite is still  probably  a good thing for us.

这篇作文写了两遍,第一遍明显扯了....才写的第二遍
我还是觉得最后一段和结尾连在一起的那个小让步还是留着好点
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-9 01:13:48

TPO11
intergrate


The professor raises serious counter argument against the reading passage by providing drastically divergent evidence regarding whether the teen-girl in the portrait is Jane Austen.

To begin with, while the author claims that the the portrait was regarded as Jane Austen herself by her family and was used in her letters in 1882, the lecturer points out the fact that when the portrait was put on Jane’s letters as an illustration of the eddition, she has been gone for about forty years, which means barely has her family members seen herself bin face. Therefore, it is possible that their famliy made a minor mistake.

Secondly,contrary to the author has statement that the portrait is highly resambling to the sketch made by her sister Cassandra, especially the features of her face,the lecturer gives an alternative explaination for this case, he suggested that since the Austen family is rather large, it is probable that the girl in the portrait is a relative of Jane Austen.

Subsequently, another argument raised in the lecture directly contradict to what is state in the reading material that the style of portrait is very much like that of Ozias Humphrey,who was popular at the same time when Jane was a young girl.The speaker explains that in spite of the style, everything that left suggest that the portrait was later than the period that it was previously thought, such as the stamp,which shows it was sold by a man who came to London when Jane was already 23 years old.
作者: luckybabynanfu    时间: 2010-12-9 15:27:42

已改

In contemporary era, when the pace of our life becomes increasingly fast, will it still be necessary for us to behave as polite as the way before? Recently, a controversy has raised amount(是要写among?) people, regarding the this question. While some individuals claims that it will be much efficient if we skip those so-called courtesy and pursuing our goal straight without any distractions, other people believe otherwise. Speaking for myself, I side with the later(latter) viewpoint.8 ~" k/ U) L4 K  b9 B$ g" V

   Concerning working without bothering behave polite(用副词) and acquaintance(要表达什么?且词性不对) to others, it, indeed, saves us time and brings convenience in some degree. But how much time could be saved; how much convenience will it brings? Is it really worthy enough for us to take the risk of losing the help from other people, which could has been very helpful, and facing our journey alone in a world full of strangers? I assume everyone has already had their answer.
(这一段要表达什么观点??用了三个问句,但是都没有给出答案,会让人有点搞不清你想表达什么。建议最后一句I assume everyone has already had their answer. 改成针对前几个问题,明确你的立场。)

   Courteous behaving(behavior,Courteous是形容词。), on the other hand, will not only enable us to impress others, but also help us to focus on the things that people have in common and tolerate the differences. In this way we can have more friends of a wide spectrum,which,in another word, are opportunities of greater chance. Moreover, politeness is always regarded as a vital part of our characteristics. it is only under special circumstances when we keep being polite to others, would we be able to keep from losing ourselves from what and who we are. (这最后一句没看明白):
Admittedly, pursuing our goals directly has its advantages, however, if all the factors that we have and have not mentioned before complied , the advantages of courtesy weight more that (than) those of the other one. Consequently, it won't be so hard for us to reach the conclusion that even in present day society, being polite is still  probably  a good thing for us.

改的你的第二篇文章了,感觉比上篇进步了。
加油~

作者: pocketlion    时间: 2010-12-9 23:29:40

60# cckkll1994
网络有问题  明天发给你哈
作者: pocketlion    时间: 2010-12-10 14:54:22

改好了~~~两个都在里面

[attach]158384[/attach]
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-11 00:33:12

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-12-11 00:34 编辑

12.10
independent

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good idea to move to a new city or a new country because you will lose old friends.

      As a son of oriental land,it is our tradition to value the our place of birth and leave only under special circumstances in which we possess no option. And this coincidentally has something associated with the topic in the direction. Yet, I cannot say I agree with this viewpoint, though it sides with my tradition.

      Regarding moving to a new place, this ,indeed , make it sightly more difficult for us to get along with our old friends. Since we can no longer see each other frequently, friends may be alienated. This might be a good reason decades of years ago, however, with rapidly developing technology today, various ways of communication such as mobile phone, e-mail, are applied and make it possible for us to take and write to a friends in distant area with great convenience. Moreover, friendships could even grow deeper if we keep phoning each other or simply sending a piece of message though cellphone everyday.

     On the other hand,moving to a new city or a new country , not only can help us to expand our horizon, but also enables us to meet new people, be acquainted with others, and even make new friends. With a wider connection net ,we could get help from others much easier. Beside, who can possibly resist a chance “to explore the unknown ahead, seek out new opportunities and fortunes, to boldly go where he has never gone before” (as it is said in StarTrek series).

     Of course, moving to a new environment requires a lot of courage and determinations, in the sense that we will have to adapt a whole new way of life, overcome problems include languages, culture, even religious aspects. However, if all the factors we have and have not discussed above compiled, the advantages of a different city or a country carry more weight than those of the other opinion. Consequently, we can finally reach the conclusion that to move to a new city or a new country can be a very good idea in spite of the little risk of losing old friends.

作者: 嘉木香草    时间: 2010-12-11 10:09:46

改好了,抱歉昨晚网出问题了,才交上来~
作者: 嘉木香草    时间: 2010-12-11 10:14:28

改好了,抱歉昨晚网出问题了,才交上来~
作者: 嘉木香草    时间: 2010-12-11 10:17:33

改好了,抱歉昨晚网出问题了,才交上来~
作者: 嘉木香草    时间: 2010-12-11 10:18:50

改好了,抱歉昨晚网出问题了,才交上来~
作者: 师走99    时间: 2010-12-11 20:23:40

真对不起~

TPO11~
[attach]158451[/attach]
作者: luckybabynanfu    时间: 2010-12-11 20:43:38

As a son of oriental land(中文是不是要说成炎黄子孙,呵呵,我觉得这个表达让人有点摸不着头脑。反正咋一看,没反应过来,等到反应过来呢,又觉得挺好玩。。), it is our tradition to value the our place of birth and leave only under special circumstances in which we possess no option(这句奇怪 Perhaps it is our human nature to be nostalgic towards an old place and thus one would not leave one’s homeland so long as there is a choice). And this coincidentally has something associated with the topic in the direction. Yet, I cannot say I agree( I can hardly agree) with this viewpoint, though it sides with my tradition.

      Regarding moving to a new place, this ,indeed , make it slightly(slightly) more difficult for us to get along with our old friends. Since we can no longer see each other frequently, friends may be alienated. This might be a good reason decades of years ago, however, with rapidly developing technology today, various ways of communication such as mobile phone, e-mail, are applied and make it possible for us to take and write to a friends in distant area with great convenience. Moreover, friendships could even grow deeper if we keep phoning each other or simply sending a piece of message though cellphone everyday.

     On the other hand,moving to a new city or a new country , not only can help us to expand our horizon, but also enables us to meet new people, be acquainted with others, and even make new friends. With a wider connection net ,we could get help from others much easier. Beside, who can possibly resist a chance “to explore the unknown ahead, seek out new opportunities and fortunes, to boldly go where he has never gone before” (as it is said in StarTrek series).(问句?不如改成 it is hard for one to resist such a tempting to “explore…”.

     Of course, moving to a new environment requires a lot of courage and determinations, in the sense that we will have to adapt a whole new way of life, overcome problems include languages, culture, even religious aspects. However, if all the factors we have and have not discussed above compiled, the advantages of a different city or a country carry more weight than those of the other opinion. Consequently, we can finally reach the conclusion that to move to a new city or a new country can be a very good idea in spite of the little risk of losing old friends.


看了几篇你的作文,有个很强烈的感觉,你很喜欢用让步。(文中加粗体的。都是让步认同对方观点的好,或是自己观点的不足)。倘若把你的文章分成三部分。一部分是表达自己的观点,一部分论证未必能到位,剩下一部分就是在让步。
本身很短的文章,用这么多篇幅在承认对方的确有理,或者,我的选择的确也有难处。这样,感觉你总在绕,有点拖泥带水,是很难有说服力去表达自己观点的。
个人认为,让步在整个文章里不宜太多,篇幅最好是一段的一半。可以开头段,也可以末尾段

如果是A.B观点,要么第一段让步是欲擒故纵.要么最后一段让步是以退为进。

1、        A在某方面看上去是好处,的确,但跟B比微不足道。
2、        B好(1)
3、        B好(2)

1、        B好(1)
2、        B好(2)
3、        就算大家都说A好的那个方面,其实是个坏处。

呵呵,以上是我自己的一点体会,不知道你适合不适合,希望有帮助~
这是我给你改的最后一篇作文了,呵呵,因为明天考完试我也不会再来写了~ 你加油哦~ 还可以练几篇
作者: cckkll1994    时间: 2010-12-11 22:46:12

本帖最后由 cckkll1994 于 2010-12-11 22:50 编辑

12.11 independent

In contemporary era, it is extensively acknowledged that the issue of education, has been cast a increasingly essential role in a country’s development. Yet, in the meantime, whether young children’s education or Higher educations concerning universities should be given preferential option has sparked much debate. Some individuals assert that it is fundamentally beneficial to pay more attention on primary educations, while some other people hold on otherwise. Speaking for myself, I side the second viewpoint.

Regarding children’s educations, they, indeed, provide many people with basic knowledge and skills to manage our rapidly developing society. However, the quantity of people they serves also demonstrate that the knowledge we learned from them are too insufficient to match with the global competition of science and technologies.

Higher educations, on the other hand, not only enable us to learn in a wider spectrum of in-depth knowledge, but also help the whole country to achieve a higher standards of development. Unlike a simple additional calculation, the competitiveness of a nation depend on those small amount of elites of high “quality” instead of the quantity of skilled workers. Albert Einstein, for example, a single man changed the history of American, Japan, and even the entire humanity. Had Albert Einstein not born in German,instead, a country lack of chance entering universities, he would not have published Relativity, the milestone marks the revolution of modern physics. This sort of example in which hugh potential does exist in higher educations is not rare.

Of course, primary educations is needed in some degree, but we really should doubt the necessity of large amount of funds and resources invested on them.Nevertheless, if all factors that we have and have not disscussed compiled, the advantages of universities weight more than those of children’s educations. Consequently, it is afertall not so for us to reach the conclusion that a government should spend more money on universities rather than young children’s education.
作者: ofeyae    时间: 2010-12-12 22:26:47


In contemporary era, it is extensively acknowledged that the issue of education, has been cast a increasingly essential role in a country’s development. Yet, in the meantime, whether young children’s education or Higher educations (education 数量词前后要统一) concerning universities should be given preferential option has sparked much debate. Some individuals assert that it is fundamentally beneficial to pay more attention on primary educations, while some other people hold on otherwise. Speaking for myself, I side the second viewpoint.(the second viewpoint是你文章里提出的第二个point---primary education 还是题目中的第二个point-university point?)
Regarding children’s educations, they, indeed, provide many people with basic knowledge and skills to manage our rapidly developing society. However, the quantity of people they serves also demonstrate(s) that the knowledge we learned from them are too insufficient to match with the global competition of science and technologies(technology).

Higher educations, on the other hand, not only enable us to(enable to…for us) learn in a wider spectrum of in-depth knowledge, but also help the whole country to achieve a higher standards(standard) of development. Unlike a simple additional calculation, the competitiveness of a nation depend (depends) on those small amount of elites of high “quality” instead of the quantity of skilled workers. Albert Einstein, for example, a single man changed the history of American, Japan,(为什么美国、日本、其他国家) and even the entire humanity. Had Albert Einstein been not born in German, instead, a country lack of chances entering(to enter) universities, he would not have published Relativity, the milestone marks(marking) the revolution of modern physics. This sort of example in which hugh(?) potential does exist in higher educations is not rare.(这句没看懂)

Of course, primary educations(education) is needed in some degree, but we really should doubt the necessity of large amount of funds and resources invested(ing) on them. Nevertheless, if all factors that we have and have not disscussed compiled, the advantages of universities weight more than those of children’s educations. Consequently, it is afertall not so for us to reach the conclusion that a government should spend more money on universities rather than young children’s education.

语法还需加强。加油~




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