寄托家园留学论坛

标题: Maggie‘s daily writing [打印本页]

作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-12 23:29:31     标题: Maggie‘s daily writing

本帖最后由 PsMaggie 于 2011-2-19 12:58 编辑

2.12独立
Do you agree with the following statement? Children should play sports only for fun, and should not attend competitions and contests.

It always catches parents or educators’ concerns that for what kind of intentions they choose an activity for children. For example parents take kids to attend piano classes to culture their perceptions of music, give kids pastels to let them catch the feelings of color. And sports play an significant role in this case. As children plays sports in their daily lives it can’t be ignored to think about the intentions of doing sports. Some emphasize that children should play sports just for fun and no competitions and contests for them. There is probably some truth to this argument, but I take opposite opinion which as far as I concerned, competitions and contests are truly important for children.

First, it should be noticed that sports without other playmates would hardly for children to accept. Companions make activities more fun and children need a growing-up environment full of companions. Just as it is a normal thing to see a group of kids playing football game but it is rare to see one child take a long-distance running as an outdoor sport. When there are people, there are competitions, it is competition that make sports more attractive and fun. For instance, image there are two groups of children playing football, since the opposing sides exist, competition cannot be avoided because a natural impulse of winning that the children all have. Thus scramble, sweat and whoop begin and all above bring exciting emotion. Higher scores make winning team excited, lower scores make losing team swear to fight back and what is the result is the next time of football game is decided. So if grown-ups don’t allow children attend sports with the factor of competition, I’m afraid it would induce a consequence that children no longer love sports.

Second, it would contribute children’s success in their futures to let them know what is failure and how to deal with failure. The earlier children face the failure----no matter big or small----the earlier they would get sober when failure happens again. When time comes they would appreciate their parents has already let them experience it. What’s more, it is widely known that the youngs are gaining more and more pressures, some of those pressures are brought by losing in daily lives. And as we all know that sooner or later these children have to integrate into the community, it would never be late to teach them how to survive under pressure. So it is a good and more accepted way to culture children the sense of failure through sports contests. In the long run, they would not being nerves, losing themselves in front of failure and would perform better in their stressed lives.

Some may argue that it would bring bad effects to let children be in touch with competitions so early, such as they may develop an ill attitude of treating matches or they may overplay the situation between winning and losing. However, winning is not the most vital thing in sports. The most significant thing children should learn is how to be with their companions and what kind of attitude they should hold to treat their competitors. There is no better way for one child to understand friendship than the way of putting them fighting for the same goal with his or her teammates. They work each other, help each other, laugh together and cry together and in the end they know what makes a friend and how to treasure friends. On the other hand, they would also see the efforts the other team has made which would let them know that they should respect their competitors as well because everyone tries their best to approach their goals.
作者: 内牛满面    时间: 2011-2-13 18:25:35

It always catches parents or educators’ concerns that for what kind of intentions they choose (是不是应该有个as )an activity for children. For example parents take kids to attend piano classes to culture their perceptions of music, give kids pastels to let them catch the feelings of color. And sports play a significant role in this case. As children plays sports in their daily lives it can’t be ignored to think about the intentions of doing sports. Some emphasize that children should play sports just for fun and no competitions and contests for them. There is probably some truth to this argument, but I take opposite opinion which as far as I concerned, competitions and contests are truly important for children.

First, it should be noticed that sports without other playmates would hardly for children to accept. Companions make activities more fun and children need a growing-up environment full of companions. Just as it is a normal thing to see a group of kids playing football game but it is rare to see one child take(s) a long-distance running as an outdoor sport. When(Where) there are people, there are competitions, it is competition that make(s) sports more attractive and fun. For instance, image there are two groups of children playing football, since the opposing sides exist, competition cannot be avoided because a natural impulse of winning that the children all have. Thus scramble, sweat and whoop begin and all above bring exciting emotion. Higher scores make winning team excited, lower scores make losing team swear to fight back and what is (去掉)the result is the next time of football game is decided. So if grown-ups don’t allow children attend sports with the factor of competition, I’m afraid it would induce a consequence that children no longer love sports.
/ S6 F7 w) J. h8 B2 }5 b8 g( \
Second, it would contribute children’s success in their futures to let them know what is failure and how to deal with failure. The earlier children face the failure----no matter big or small----the earlier they would get sober when failure happens again. When time comes they would appreciate their parents has(who having) already let them experience it. What’s more, it is widely known that the youngs(yuouth) are gaining more and more pressures, some of those pressures are brought by losing in daily lives. And as we all know that sooner or later these children have to integrate into the community, it would never be late to teach them how to survive under pressure. (这个……你的意思好像没表达对)So it is a good and more accepted way to culture children the sense of failure through sports contests. In the long run, they would not being(be) nerves, losing(lose) themselves in front of failure and would perform better in their stressed lives.6 ?' o' V' l9 P0 h6 \

Some may argue that it would bring bad effects to let children be in touch with competitions so early, such as they may develop an ill attitude of treating matches or they may overplay the situation between winning and losing. However, winning is not the most vital thing in sports. The most significant thing children should learn is how to be with their companions and what kind of attitude they should hold to treat their competitors. There is no better way for one child to understand friendship than the way of putting them fighting for the same goal with his or her teammates. They work (with) each other, help each other, laugh together and cry together and in the end they know what makes a friend and how to treasure friends. On the other hand, they would also see the efforts the other team has made which would let them know that they should respect their competitors as well because everyone tries their best to approach their goals.

楼主第一篇文章很值得鼓励啊,写的很有条理。为了人类共同的事业,请你下次注意字数!呵呵……
作者: 伶女    时间: 2011-2-13 23:57:21

学习啦
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-14 09:48:44

:hug:谢谢内牛和伶女!
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-15 11:47:48

2.14独立

It always catches parents’ concerns that should they encourage teenagers to take part-time jobs or not. As population becomes larger and larger, the challenge of entering societies turns more and more tough. In order to confront this challenge, many parents encourage their children to get part-time jobs. Of course there may come up with some problems but I indeed agree with this allege.

First, as an old saying goes that the early bird gets the worm, teenagers who get in touch with the outside world would adapt to this society much better in the future. For example, as fresh blood in this society, graduated students often suffered setbacks in job-hunting markets for lacking of practice work experiences. Cause more and more companies pay more and more attentions to realistic experience along with the high pace of modern lives. Thus under this situation, those who have accumulated work experiences in part-time jobs would win in the personal market more possible. So teenagers should take a part-time job cause it act as a warm-up exercise for them to take the full-time job in the future.

Second, students can promote their studies through part-time jobs. For instance, I am a students major in Animation. But the different between my classmates and me is that I have had a part-time job in a local animation company. Through this experience I have learn that something that doesn’t exist in books but in practice. And because my practice enables me to better understand what I’ve learned from book, I got the opportunity to go beyond my classmates. So I am now the top student in my class. On the other hand, taking part-time jobs may offer teenagers opportunities to discover their talents in other areas or their self-worth. Because if students who over-emphasis on formal learning may lose the sense of finding their true interests.

Last but not the least, part-time jobs can partly relieves students’ financial burden, especially those from poor families. As we all know that colleges fees has increased in the past decade and our bank system failed to loan students as effectively as it claimed to developed the country. So taking part-time jobs becomes an effectual way for poor students to meet their great expenses in campus lives. Some may argue that taking part-time job may lead teenagers to be so keen on making money that they may neglect their studies. However, every coin has its two sides. It is both parents and children’s duty to teach and learn to reach a balance between working and studying so that disadvantages could be avoided.

All in all, in my opinion, the advantages overweight its disadvantages. Parents should encourage teenagers to take a part-time job cause it would teach them knowledge that they can’t get from school, teach them how to deal with non-school group and finally succeed thin their lives.
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-15 13:37:16

本帖最后由 PsMaggie 于 2011-2-15 18:31 编辑

2.14综合

In the lecture, the professor refuses to support the statement in the reading passage. She believes that the harms from salvage logging outweigh the benefits and she discusses the points made in the passage one by one.

First of all, the professor doubts the necessity of creating right conditions for trees growth. Since the natural development of wood, as a fact the professor puts, are good for soil to become more suitable for future generations of trees, she gives her first opinion that moving dead trees may damage the situation of soil culturing which means the conditions of future generations of trees may be harmed.

Secondly, the professor enumerates a data about insect population’s exiting condition to fight the passage’s assertion of the damage causing by insects. The fact is that the spruce bark beetles have lived in Alaska forest for nearly 100 years without causing major damage. On the other hand, the professor also points out the same effects work on insects or birds which may bring benefits to the forests. If dead trees are moved, not only spruce bark beetles would disappeared, but also lots of beneficial insects would disappeared.

What’s more, consider form the degree and duration of economic benefits, the professor objects the passage’s assertion. She points out that factories can move dead trees only by complex and inconvenient tools. Thus, this job may spend more money than it can earn. As a result, moving dead trees would not necessary benefit the forest after fire.
作者: candis712    时间: 2011-2-15 15:53:48

It always catches parents’ concerns that should they encourage teenagers to take part-time jobs or not. As population becomes larger and larger(不精练), the challenge of entering societies turns more and more tough(这一句感觉有点别扭). In order to confront this challenge, many parents encourage their children to get part-time jobs(这一句里面,主语是many parents,前面就不能是 confront this challenge,因为是their children confront this challenge). Of course there may come up with some problems(,)but I indeed agree with this allege.

First, as an old saying goes that the early bird gets the worm, teenagers who get in touch with the outside world (应该强调越早接触社会,与前面的early birds 相对应)would adapt to this society much better in the future. For example, as fresh blood in this society(我不知道有没有这种说法,感觉挺吓人的,呵呵), graduated students often suffered(时态一致) setbacks in job-hunting markets for lacking of practice work experiences(赘述). Cause more and more companies pay more and more attentions to realistic experience along with the high pace of modern lives(Cause有点口语化,而且跟下一句好像分不开,之间用分号就可以了。More and more 用得多了,已经3个了). Thus under this situation, those who have accumulated work experiences in part-time jobs would win in the personal market(是人才市场吗?) more possible(possible 应该是修饰win,要用副词). So teenagers should take a part-time job cause it act (单复数) as a warm-up exercise(可以尝试用同位语,更加精练,如……part-time joba warm-up exercise,……) for them to take the full-time job in the future.

Second, students can promote their studies through part-time jobs. For instance, I am a students major in Animation. But the different(名词) between my classmates and me is that I have had a part-time job in a local animation company. Through this experience I have learn that something that doesn’t exist in books but in practice. And because my practice enables me to better understand what I’ve learned from book, I got the opportunity to go beyond my classmates. So I am now(语序) the top student in my class. On the other hand, taking part-time jobs may offer teenagers opportunities to discover their talents in other areas or their self-worth. Because if students who over-emphasis(动词) on formal learning may lose the sense of finding their true interests.(这一段,感觉逻辑不够严密,首先通过part-time job不一定能promote their studie,因为工作浪费比较多的时间,学习时间少了,就算专业内知识可以提升,其他学习不一定。应该有所限定。语法上应该更加严谨。句式上也不灵活,全篇because 太多)

Last but not the least, part-time jobs can partly relieves (主谓一致)students’ financial burden, especially those from poor families. As we all know that colleges fees(学费不是这样吧) has increased in the past decade and our bank system failed to loan students as effectively as it claimed to developed the country. So taking part-time jobs becomes an effectual way for poor students to meet their great expenses in campus lives. Some may argue that taking part-time job may lead teenagers to be so keen on making money that they may neglect their studies. However, every coin has its two sides. It is both parents and children’s duty to teach and learn to reach a balance between working and studying so that disadvantages could be avoided.' (这一段回答了问题吗?问的是part-time jobs是不是一个最好的办法去准备将来的adult life,那能减轻financial burden adult life怎么联系呢,应该说在挣钱过程中学到了如何理财吧,这样才能联系起来。同时,题眼是不是最好的方法,这一点没有得到回答。如果是,就应当说别的方法不能达到什么什么的目的,而这个方法才可以。如果不是,也应回答。如果让步,也应该是这个方法是一个好方法,但不能不加分析的说这是一个最好的方法,因为every coin has its two sides)

All in all, in my opinion, the advantages overweight its disadvantages. Parents should encourage teenagers to take a part-time job cause it would teach them knowledge that they can’t get from school, teach them how to deal with non-school group and finally succeed thin their lives.

提了些个人观点,希望能有所帮助。呵呵,加油
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-15 18:32:59

谢谢小C的认真修改~
作者: 林水监    时间: 2011-2-15 21:01:00

本帖最后由 林水监 于 2011-2-15 21:12 编辑

2.14综合
In the lecture, the professor refuses tosupport the statement in the reading passage. She believes that the harms fromsalvage logging outweigh the benefits and she discusses the points made in thepassage one by one.


First of all, the professor doubts thenecessity of creating right conditions for trees growthCleaning up the forests after athunder or storm do necessarily to create the right condition to trees growth.. Since the natural developmentProcess of wood, as a fact the professorputs, are good for soil to become more suitable for future generations of trees.she gives her first opinion that moving dead trees may damage the situation ofsoil culturing which means the conditions of future generations of trees may beharmed.

Secondly, the professor enumerates adata about insect population’s exiting condition to fight the passage’sassertion of the damage causing by insects.(用从句是不是会更好些) The fact is that the spruce bark beetles have lived in Alaska forest for nearly100 years without causing major damage. On the other hand, the professor also(与 on the other hand 有点重复) points out the same effectsworkAlso works onother insects and birds… on insects or birds which may bring benefits to the forests. Ifdead trees are moved, not only spruce bark beetles would disappeared, but alsolots of beneficial insects would disappeared.Lecture doesn’t mention disappeared. Salvage logging may do moreharm than harm insects

What’s more, consider form the degree andduration of economic benefits, the professor objects the passage’s assertion.She points out that factories can move dead trees only by complex andinconvenient tools. Thus, this job may spend more money than it can earn. As aresult, moving dead trees would not necessary benefit the forest after fire.



很佩服楼主,不仅要点都能抓到,而且文章结构清晰,内容概况很准确、有效,学习了~~
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-16 14:02:55

2.16独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students are more influenced from their teacher rather than their friends.

Nowadays, many people are wild about education problems. One of the hottest questions under debate is whether students are more influenced from their teacher rather than their friends. Some people hold the approval issue because they convince that students attending school is to get educated and teachers are full of life experiences. But I disagree with that. In my opinion, students are more influenced from their friends because of the following reasons.

First, see from the hours students spend with teachers, it is obviously that students spend more time with their friends than their teachers. In students daily lives, ordinarily they only meet their teachers in class. However, they can meet their friends in or out class. For example, when I was in middle school, I spent 7 hours in class. But I continued hung around with my friends after class even include weekends. We studied together and shared our own ideas in order to acquire more information. In my experiences it seems the influences from teachers are limited.

Second, for most of time the communications between teachers and students are monodirectional while between students and their friends are bidirectional. It is hard to see a student talk to his teacher as much as his teacher talks to him. It is always to receive but not to exchange. Thus the effects generating under this situation are not so effective since students would get tired of listening. But it would act opposite while communicating with their friends. They would talk to each other, transport their ideas to each other and do motions to each other. As a result, the influences among them double and go deep.

Somebody may argue that it can’t be ignored that there many good teachers who have endeavored to exercise influences on their students. Commonly their approach is to have the students who always get low grade talk in his office. However it doesn’t seem that influential, because teachers don’t really understand their students. This function works, but influence from friends gets better.

So, I believe that students are more influenced from their friends who have similar perspective on life than from their teacher who have less time spending with them and don’t usually listen but just talk.
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-16 14:04:01

本帖最后由 PsMaggie 于 2011-2-17 10:56 编辑

2.16综合  TPO16
In the lecture, the professor refuses to support the statement in the reading passage. She believes that the phenomena indicated in the passage can be overthrown by the publishing of new rules and guidelines in 1990.

First, she points out a premise of starting any construction product which reduces the possibility of destroying artifacts mentions in reading passage. The premise is that the site under construction must be examined by archeologists first to see if this site is of interest or value. Workers can only start project if the site is of interest. What’s more, there would gather many archeologists and government officials to discuss about how to preserving the artifacts before formal construct.

Second, she corrects the saying about archeologists’ paying issue by letting us know an important new rule. It is construction company that pays for the archeology works but not the government. It means that the assertion the reading passage announces would no longer exist. On the contrary, this function of construction companies supporting funding can make the archeology works goes farther than ever did.

What’s more, the professor numerates another new jobs and careers supplied for archeologists due to the new rules in 1990. For example, as the professor mentions, all of the paid-off flow paths happen in a whole projects, including examines, making plans and so on, allow expert archeologists to join in. All above provide that archeology works were not as tough as mentions in reading passage.

作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-16 21:03:51

本帖最后由 PsMaggie 于 2011-2-17 10:57 编辑

2.17独立

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To make children do well at school, parents should limit the time children spend on watching TV and movies.

It always catches parents’ concerns that should they limit the time children spend on watching TV and movies or not. In order to make children do well at school, as somebody asserts, the answer is yes. In my opinion, I agree with the statement because of the following reasons.

First, as we all know that children don’t perform their self-controls as well as adults which means they may lose themselves in mastering the time of watching TV and movies. Because watching TV and movies is not so bored like reading books and children can absorb multifarious information from them that is not derived from other medium. Thus children get addicted to this comfort job without a movement in the process. As an investigation comes from Boston University, children can watch TV about 170 hours within a week. As a result, they may desire to continue watching TV instead of going to school or their minds may fill up with TV programs and movies while they are in class.

Second, too much time of watching TV cause under parents’ allowances would do harm to children’s health seriously. For example, the unhealthy life condition of obesity. Research shows that children who often watch TV will snack between meals without a pose. Besides that, sitting for hours in front of a television will make the body do not move and reduce the metabolism. And there are many other health damages such as the decline of near sight would also arise. All these unhealthy living conditions will influence children’s acting at school. They would be more like to blank out in minds or can’s see what the teacher has written on blackboard.

Somebody may argue that children can learn plenty of knowledge that they can’t get from schools or books which would make them do better at school. However on the other hand, there are many TV programs and movies would give bad influent to children. Since children don’t have the ability to tell good and bad information from TV and parents can stay with their kids for all time, it is significant to limit children’s watching TV times for parents and choose children’s watching times within the period they are at home.

So I believe that to make children do well at school, parents should limit the time children spend on watching TV and movies. Otherwise, children may be addicted to it and their grades go down or, they harm their eyes or other health conditions through spending plenty of time in it.
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-17 12:02:46

2.17 综合 TPO17

In the lecture, the professor refuses to support the statement in the reading passage. She believes that the harms from salvage logging outweigh the benefits and she discusses the points made in the passage one by one.

First of all, the professor doubts the necessity of creating right conditions for trees growth. Since the natural development of wood, as a fact the professor puts, are good for soil to become more suitable for future generations of trees, she gives her first opinion that moving dead trees may damage the situation of soil culturing which means the conditions of future generations of trees may be harmed.

Secondly, the professor enumerates a data about insect population’s exiting condition to fight the passage’s assertion of the damage causing by insects. The fact is that the spruce bark beetles have lived in Alaska forest for nearly 100 years without causing major damage. On the other hand, the professor also points out the same effects work on insects or birds which may bring benefits to the forests. If dead trees are moved, not only spruce bark beetles would disappeared, but also lots of beneficial insects would disappeared.

What’s more, consider form the degree and duration of economic benefits, the professor objects the passage’s assertion. She points out that factories can move dead trees only by complex and inconvenient tools. Thus, this job may spend more money than it can earn. As a result, moving dead trees would not necessary benefit the forest after fire.
作者: 内牛满面    时间: 2011-2-17 20:40:05

2.16 综合
[attach]161110[/attach]
学习了
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-17 20:42:53

谢谢内牛满面!
作者: sun3may    时间: 2011-2-18 15:10:00

2.17的综合 独立 改好了
请查收~
P.S.你的头像好可爱啊~
作者: 静音    时间: 2011-2-18 15:10:24

2.16独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students are more influenced from their teacher rather than their friends.' f& i( m1 X- W4 E, v
, {' ^) ^& T4 l7 v
Nowadays, many people are wild about education problems. One of the hottest questions under debate is whether students are more influenced from their teacher rather than their friends. Some people hold the approval issue because they convince that students attending school is to get educated and teachers are full of life experiences. But I disagree with that. In my opinion, students are more influenced from their friends because of the following reasons最后两句合一句比较好.1 f)( b- S: m3 A
- {6 P; Y; x( H2 C1 U
First, see from the hours students spend with teachers, (独立不成句吧)it is obviously that students spend more time with their friends than their teachers. In students daily lives, ordinarily (这个副词和前面从重复)they only meet their teachers in class. However, they can meet their friends in or out class. For example, when I was in middle school, I spent 7 hours in class. But I continued hung around with my friends after class even include weekends. We studied together and shared our own ideas in order to acquire more information. In my experiences it seems the influences from teachers are limited. 2 A8 D7 j- X4 k5 q5 ?
8 j) f9 M! s+ D- q3 L! T
Second, for most of time the communications between teachers and students are omnidirectional while between students and their friends are bidirectional. It is hard to see (这个表达有点中国化)a student talk to his teacher as much as his teacher talks to him. It is always to receive but not to exchange. Thus the effects generating under this situation are not so effective since students would get tired of listening. But it would act opposite while communicating with their friends. They would talk to each other, transport their ideas to each other and do motions to each other. As a result, the influences among them double and go deep.  L5 {% P+ V5 N7 c2 i
% C# }/ e, r) o5 J" {7 m7 a2 r
Somebody may argue that it can’t be ignored that there many good teachers who have endeavored to exercise influences (不太熟悉这个用法)on their students. Commonly their approach is to have the students who always get low grade talk in his office. However it doesn’t seem that influential, because teachers don’t really understand their students. This function works, but influence from friends gets better.
. r5 x8 r, M7 ^9 H  e; [% b
So, I believe that students are more influenced from their friends who have similar perspective on life than from their teacher who have less time spending with them and don’t usually listen but just talk.
  

2.16综合  TPO16
In the lecture, the professor refuses to support the statement(别扭的表达- -) in the reading passage. She believes that the phenomena indicated in the passage can be overthrown by the publishing of new rules and guidelines in 1990.6 [- @; _/ I! o% E8 q

First, she points out a premise of starting any construction product which reduces the possibility of destroying artifacts mentions in reading passage. The premise is that the site under construction must be examined by archeologists first to see if this site is of interest or value. Workers can only start project if the site is of interest. What’s more, there would gather many archeologists and government officials to discuss about how to preserving the artifacts before formal construct. ! n0 Q6 j8 N9 s
* U" R& ]; Q' V0 o# H2 N
Second, she corrects the saying about archeologists’ paying issue by letting us know an important new rule. It is construction company that pays for the archeology works but not the government. It means that the assertion the reading passage announces would no longer exist. On the contrary, this function of construction companies supporting funding can make the archeology works goes farther than ever did.

What’s more, the professor numerates another new jobs and careers supplied for archeologists due to the new rules in 1990. For example, as the professor mentions, all of the paid-off flow paths happen in a whole projects, including examines, making plans and so on, allow expert archeologists to join in. All above provide that archeology works were not as tough as mentions in reading passage.

重点突出很简洁,觉得很不错了
作者: ag923    时间: 2011-2-18 16:33:36

首先非常感谢你给我修改我那烂到家的作文,另外可能你的作文我要晚些才能看,不能算改了,顶多算是给些建议吧,毕竟我的作文水平也烂的一坨,晚些发给你啊,多谢包含~~
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-18 22:08:31

2.18独立
Do you agree with the following statement? In order to achieve happiness of yourself, you have to try to make other people happy.

People take different road seeking fulfillments and happiness. Since Mark Twain declared that “the best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer others up”, it seems that a connection has been built between an individual and other people around in order to acquire this special kind of emotion. However, in my opinion I deeply doubt it as I discuss below.

First, what is happiness? It can be a fleeting feeling that generated by a moment such as meeting your lovers after a long time of waiting. It can also be an ultimate goal somebody pursues for his whole life. From this it appears that happiness is about the satisfying feeling gained by yourself but not about other things like fame and reputation that you have to attain from others. Of course if your life goal is to spread happiness, it is certain that making other people happy is part of your life. However, for most of people, it is not. So whether someone thinks he is happy or not rest with how he value achievement which doesn’t necessary relate to others’ happiness.

Second, how people value most differs from others. You may treat a once big success in your business as life riches while someone else could easily be satisfied by having a bowl of warm porridge. Children would treasure a sweet candy as getting happiness while the olds wish for good health and long life. How can someone make all the people around him happy? Thus if you have to make other people happy, you may never be happy.

What’s more, taking the views from other who would be satisfied by the one that are pursuing happiness, don’t they need to reclaim their farmland of happiness by their own hands? Can they acquire happiness just by sitting in their houses? The answer is absolutely no. As Cynthia Nelms declaims, nobody really cares if you are miserable, so you have to make an effort to harvest happiness by your own.

In sum, happiness is a personal feeling based on how he feels to a certain events and how he values his achievement. Moreover, it is hard to meet everyone’s need and no one can easily earn happiness from other’s hands.
作者: ag923    时间: 2011-2-18 23:19:45

我的语法真的不怎么样,改的不好请多多见谅,有问题多多沟通哦~~
It always catches parents’ concerns that should (应该去掉吧,在这里有点语义不通啊) they limit the time children spend on watching TV and movies or not. In order to make children do well at school, as somebody asserts, the answer is yes. In my opinion, I agree with the statement because of the following reasons.

First, as we all know that children don’t perform their self-controls as well as adults which means they may lose themselves in mastering the time of watching TV and movies. Because watching TV and movies is not so bored like reading books and children can absorb multifarious information from them that is not derived from other medium. Thus children get addicted to this comfort job without a movement in the process. As an investigation comes from Boston University, children can watch TV about 170 hours within a week. As a result, they may desire to continue watching TV instead of going to school or their minds may fill up with TV programs and movies while they are in class.

Second, too much time of watching TV causes under parents’ allowances would do harm to children’s health seriously. For example, the unhealthy life condition of obesity. Research shows that children who often are watching (现在进行时是不是会好些?) TV will snack between meals without a pose (pause). Besides that, sitting for hours in front of a television will make the body do not move and reduce the metabolism. And there are many other health damages such as the decline of near sight would also arise. All these unhealthy living conditions will influence children’s acting (act) at school. They would be more like to blank out in minds or can’s see what the teacher has written on blackboard.

Somebody may argue that children can learn plenty of knowledge that they can’t get from schools or books which would make them do better at school. However on the other hand, there are many TV programs and movies would give bad influent to children. Since children don’t have the ability to tell good and bad information from TV and parents can stay with their kids for all time, it is significant to limit children’s watching TV times for parents and choose children’s watching times within the period that (同位语从句的that不能省略) they are at home.

So I believe that to make children do well at school, parents should limit the time children spend on watching TV and movies. Otherwise, children may be addicted to it and their grades go down or, they harm their eyes or other health conditions through spending plenty of time in it.
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-19 11:46:09

2.19独立
Do you agree with the following statement? Printed books are more influenced to people's lives than TV.

Nowadays, television has a big influence on our lives. Almost everyone has at least one television at home and many cannot imagine living without it because it appears to them as first need. Thus while somebody allege that printed books still have more influents on people’s lives than TV, I choose to hold the opposite side. In my opinion, TV is taking printed books’ place.

First and foremost, television has a very important particularity which printed books don’t posses that is the instantaneity. As we all concern about current affairs, it is television that supports us to know what happens in the daytime which make us always can be up to date to new events. Even sometimes we find that what took places in the last second, news in television shows it to audiences at once by scrolling note on TV screen. Printed books can never make it. Moreover, TV covers the news all over the world, owing to that the people around us even around world do actually make an effect on our daily lives, TV are more influenced to people’s lives nowadays.

Second, television has another specific that is dynamic images. Somebody states that books contain plenty of knowledge such as discoveries, disasters, culture information, politics and many others. I indeed agree with that. However the truth is that TV not only contains as many as books contains but also presents through a colorful, dynamic and more realistic picture. For instance, an encyclopedia always illustrates a scene of a world of wild animals to children. However children can hardly understand the hunting process between hunter and prey through it. But then, if children watch discovery channel, they can learn how wild animals actually live deeply through a more vivid way. Thus, TV’s supplying a better way for gaining knowledge and information makes itself more popular which influence people more effective.

What’s more, see from daily lives of people, it can be found that we can be engaged in something else but still can learn news from the open television through just listening. Since reading books can’t be disturbed by other things and need enough light and for most of time need a quiet environment, more and more people choose TV instead of printed books to acquire current affairs and influence their own lives thereby. And it is a common situation of after a day-off, people are more like to press the TV bottom and throw them to a comfort sofa to relax. All these facts tell us that no matter we are willing to admit, TV are more influenced to people’s lives than printed books.

In sum, as an immense resource of information on several subjects, TV is changing people’s lives through a dynamic, phonic and more acceptable way. For that the information TV reports are related to people’s daily lives or concerned by people, TV is more influenced on people’s lives than printed book.
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-19 11:46:39

本帖最后由 PsMaggie 于 2011-2-19 12:57 编辑

2.19综合  TPO1
In the lecture, the professor refuses to support the statement in reading passage. He believes that the disadvantages working a four-day week brings outweigh the advantages. And he makes his points one by one.

First, the professor cast doubt on whether the company would gain more profits through the way raised in reading passage. Consider from job training, medical treatments fees, office space and computers' numbers the professors tells that along with the increasing of number of employees, the costs for company will increase in an unexpected way. Company can't make both ends meet, this additional costs would cut into company profits.

Second, the professor points out that gaining more employees is not the only choice company could make in order to accomplish the same amount of task. He numerates several ways such as extending workers' everyday working time or even force workers finish their five-day works within four days. Thus in this case job would turn unpleasant for employees.

Finally, the professor throws another shortage for employees to work four days a week. Companies are more like to hire those who are willing to work five days a week, in order to ensure with coverage and constant supervision for the entire work week. By occasion of this, employees would have more possibilities to loss jobs during economic depression time or have less opportunities to earn a promotion.
作者: sEven_zh    时间: 2011-2-20 12:01:10

In the lecture, the professor
refuses to support(
这里最好不要这样说,因为教授没有‘拒绝支持’,用disagree with之类的短语代替可能比较好,托福的作文思路清晰比句子好看重要) the statement in reading passage. He believes that the disadvantages working a four-day week brings outweigh the advantages. And he makes his points one by one.  T

8 NFirst, the professor cast doubt on whether the company would gain more profits through the way that raised in reading passage. Consider from job(working ability) training, medical treatments fees, office space and computers' numbers the professors tells(told) that along with the increasing of number of employees, the costs for company will increase in an unexpected way. Company can't make both ends meet, this additional costs would cut into company profits.% ?) Q1 ^) q0''''''''

Second, the professor points out that gaining more employees is not the only choice company could make in order to accomplish the same amount of task. He numerates several ways such as extending workers' everyday working time or even force workers finish their five-day works within four days. Thus in this case job would turn(bring) unpleasant for(to) employees.

Finally, the professor throws another shortage for employees to work four days a week. Companies are more like to hire those who are willing to work five days a week, in order to ensure with coverage and constant supervision for the entire work week. By occasion of this, employees would have more possibilities to loss(lose) jobs during economic depression time or have less(fewer) opportunities to earn a promotion.





我对综合写作业没有什么经验,大家互相借鉴哈哈

作者: bibby00888    时间: 2011-2-20 12:28:35

2.19独立修改意见
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-20 18:43:04

谢谢sun3may,静音,anan,sEven_zh和bibby~~撒花~~~
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-21 22:12:32

2.21  独立
Movies and televisions should always show audience good people being rewarded and bad people being punished

When we watch a movie or television, there are always some good people and bad people in it. Most of us always want and the good people be rewarded and the bad people be punished and declare it. However, as far as I concerned, good or bad is a really subjective judgement, and movies and television are not so simple things as art forms.

First and foremost, there is no absolute standard to distinguish good or bad. I can back u this point with my personal experiences. My mother once told me a movie story about the War of Resistance against Japan. During that period, a 9-year-old Chinese cowboy met up with a team of Japanese soldiers. The cowboy noticed that these soldiers were enemies and going to attack his village so he lied to them and led them walked right into the trap. Finally, this cowboy was killed by Japanese soldiers and the Japanese soldiers were killed by Chinese Red Army. Of course in most people’s view this cowboy is good people in this story because hi protected his hometown from being attacked, however there are a few people especially Japanese think that the cowboy has been lying to others which is not a virtue. Thus every person has their own opinions, good or bad is a really subjective judgement depending on one’s own experience. So it is really hard for the producer to please all audiences.

Second, see from the professional views of professional directors, just let good people being rewarded and bad people being punished would hardly make a movie or television a good film. Consider that in the end of a movie, good people being rewarded and bad people being punished, that’s OK, everybody satisfied and it’s just over, then it would just be a so-so, no more discussions would last. However, if good people is killed by bad people in the end or both of them all die, then contradictions produced, audiences’ emotions aroused and this movie will never be common. What’s more, watching movies and televisions is a kind of good way for people to develop their own ability of judgement. Personally, I like the movies that leave some clues for audiences to imagine the following plots.

Somebody may argue that children need to see those programs contain good people being rewarded and bad people being punished in order to build them a standards of virtue and honesty. Of course it is true and it should be done. However, my point is not to say that movies and television cannot contain those contents above, my point is to say that movies and television should not always contain those contents above. Programs should be chosen for children to watch by their parents, but as to the adults who possess the ability to tell good from bad, they would get tired watching good people always be rewarded and bad people always be punished by occasion that some people do not end up as the public’s wish in the real word. We won’t feel the movies and television programs are all like fairy tales that appears so unrealistic.

In sum, movies and television don’t need to always tell a story about good people being rewarded and bad people being punished for getting better attractive, artistic and realistic.
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-21 22:13:27

2.21综合  TPO2
In the lecture, the professor refuses to support the statements made in reading passage. He believes that the disadvantages of approaching projects by team work outweigh the advantages. And he made his points by citing an example of one company.

The company introduced by the professor, constituted a working team to accomplish a project and made them record their process of planning and getting done the work. While six months later, the company checked the team's performance, it turns out an opposite result as illustrated in reading passage.

First, the professor tells that every team members didn't contribute much in the projects while all of them got the benefit when a whole team did a good job, no rewarding distinction among those who have contributed more and less. And also, those hard-working members couldn't have their names appeared in public.

Second, questions of the time group spend and contradictions within the team are numerated by the professor too. By occasion that plenty of different opinions exiting in one team and everyone held his/hers, before they reached an agreement, they’ve already wasted large time. Even sometimes the compromise couldn’t be met because some members directed refused to take it. What’s more, the influencers in the group may be ignored by others when they convinced that their ideas would be creative or tried to stop the group from going wrong. And finally, as the professor concludes, all members were blamed after the projects failed.
作者: beangt    时间: 2011-2-21 23:57:43

2.21综合  TPO2 Bean修改5 k; m" H
In the lecture, the professor refuses to support the statements made in reading passage. He believes that the disadvantages of approaching projects by team work outweigh the advantages. And he made his points by citing an example of one company.
( A; m- `* L0 D4 C

& S" J, ]  @9 OThe company introduced by the professor, constituted a working team to accomplish a project and made them record their process of planning and getting done the work. While six months later, the company checked the team's performance, it turns out an opposite result as illustrated in reading passage.
# {6 w3 B  F8 y5 f/ e
. a9 D% w# g: j6 m* X2 p
First, the professor tells that every team members didn't contribute much in the projects while all of them got the benefit when a whole team did a good job, no rewarding distinction among those who have contributed more and less. And also, those hard-working members couldn't have their names appeared in public.
+ P1 L# J- w4 W  g' S. G
1 m1 D& S# P# f7 q4 X2 Q5 H
Second, questions of the time group spend (the time a group spend on debating questions) and contradictions within the team are numerated by the professor, too. By occasion that plenty of different opinions exiting in one team and everyone held his/hers, before they reached an agreement, they’ve already wasted (a) large (amount of) time. Even sometimes the compromise couldn’t be met because some members directed refused to take it. What’s more, the influencers in the group may be ignored by others when they (are) convinced that their ideas would be creative or tried to stop the group from going wrong. And finally, as the professor concludes, all members were blamed after the projects failed.


恩,写的很好,除了一些小错误。我觉得这篇综合写作本身的那个听力和阅读就有点乱,然后我写的就特别乱~
作者: sun3may    时间: 2011-2-22 20:04:44

2.21独立

改好了。请查收~
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-22 21:16:01

2.22 综合  TPO3
In terms of whether Rembrandt painted Portrait of an Elderly Woman in a White Bonnet, the reading and the listening are contradictory to each other.

First, the professor in listening passage reveals that the fur color mentioned in reading passage isn't the part of the original painting. X-ray and pigments in the paint's analysis shown that the fur color was painted over the original painting about 100 years after. She presumes that is because people want to increase the value of the painting.

Second, the professor points out that in the original painting which can be seen after added fur color removed, the face appears partially in shadow just as what people expect. The woman in original painting is wearing a simple color of lighted colored cloth which reflects light that illuminated parts of the woman's face.

Finally, the professor gives another truth which is also found after the fur color removed that the original paintings actually painted on the single piece of wood. People who enlarged the painting's size and tap with extra wood pieces glued may be desire to make the painting more grand and valuable. She also adds a proof that researchers have found that piece wood of the original paintings is from the very tree. Rembrandt has used the wood panel for another painting----his self-portrait---- from this same tree.
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-22 22:45:04

2.22独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Nowadays, it is not important for families to eat meals together regularly.%

Some people declaim such as they are busy with their career development, they have no time or they are already independent adults that don’t need to eat with their parents loudly, I strongly disagree with them. Even though busy lifestyle make it difficult, eating together as a family is still very important and families who eat meals together benefit in a variety of ways.

First and foremost, eating dinner together as a family provides ample opportunities for communication. Mealtimes will create more chances for open discussions, and encourage all members to participate. Through this soft way, children, teenagers even adults would develop their ability of communicating in society by occasion that they have already trained a lot in the dinner table. By avoid topic that might cause conflicts and allowing all family members express his or her ideas, people can find a good way to talk openly and get along with each other well. Finally, people especially children, learn to know how to behavior and communicate with their friends and colleagues. Thus family meals help provide a regular, consistent opportunity to create a shared experience which is meaningful and offers a sense of belonging to all.

Second, eating together as a family is also a great way of easing their minds of spending a whole day. Family members share their days in the dinner table can spread their happiness to another or eliminate their unhappy minds through speaking out. For someone like me, I sometimes spend a hard day during daytime, for example being scolded by teachers, I would like to talk to my parents in meals time because my parents would comfort me and we would figure out a better way of improving my school acting. What’s more, many will recall this time as some of their most cherished memories because people would leave plenty of laughs and sweet stories in dinner tables.

What’s more, eating meals together helps people improve nutrition especially children. Numerous studies have overwhelmingly point to the fact that families who eat together have better overall nutrition, on the ground that the people who always takes charge of preparing meals knows to consume more fruits and vegetables and fewer snack foods. For teenagers, not only have studies found that teenagers who have dinner with their families get better grades at school, but also they are less likely to get involved with negative behaviors like drinking alcohol, taking drugs or smoking. For young people who just access to society, they would choose to eat in fast-food restaurants if they have meals single which is definitely have much less nutritious than having dinner with their families.

In sum, there is no doubt that it is important for families to eat meals together regularly for eating together helps families achieve better communication and build stronger relationship, children perform better at school, adult act better in community and the whole family members enjoy better nutritious meals.
作者: hdchangie    时间: 2011-2-23 08:39:42

2.22独立
7 r9 `) k7 W/ J) f2 c: M: ADo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Nowadays, it is not important for families to eat meals together regularly.%
& n' K0 q1 @" `4 j( P& j: n( l; R9 A
& y2 S$ S. a0 h; V% `Some people declaim such as they are busy with their career development, they have no time or they are already independent adults that don’t need to eat with their parents loudly, I strongly disagree with them. Even though busy lifestyle make it difficult, eating together as a family is still very important and families who eat meals together benefit in a variety of ways.
3 }; d( g" |" y: d- K- S, {2 i
& {- t/ L( ?2 s( ?: `$ P# K
First and foremost, eating dinner together as a family provides ample opportunities for communication. Mealtimes will create more chances for open discussions, and encourage all members to participate. Through this soft way, children, teenagers even adults would develop their ability of communicating in society by occasion that they have already trained a lot in the dinner table. By avoiding topic that might cause conflicts and allowing all family members express his or her ideas, people can find a good way to talk openly and get along with each other well. Finally, people especially children, learn to know how to behavior and communicate with their friends and colleagues. Thus family meals help provide a regular, consistent opportunity to create a shared experience which is meaningful and offers a sense of belonging to all.
) m  n) O* D2 K  F/ b
+ f7 C; i1 F+ e
Second, eating together as a family is also a great way of easing their minds of spending a whole day. Family members share their days in the dinner table can spread their happiness to another(others) or eliminate their unhappy minds through speaking out. For someone like me, I sometimes spend a hard day during daytime, for example being scolded by teachers, I would like to talk to my parents in meals time because my parents would comfort me and we would figure out a better way of improving my school acting(performance). What’s more, many will recall this time as some of their most cherished memories because people would leave plenty of laughs and sweet stories in dinner tables.
0 F1 n+ |! @. f  g
5 c8 r# _, ^; m/ a* b1 y
What’s more(建议换个表达方式,与上段最后重复了), eating meals together helps people improve nutrition especially children. Numerous studies have overwhelmingly point to the fact that families who eat together have better overall nutrition, on the ground that the people who always takes charge of preparing meals knows to consume more fruits and vegetables and fewer snack foods. For teenagers, not only have studies found that teenagers who have dinner with their families get better grades at school, but also they are less likely to get involved with negative behaviors like drinking alcohol, taking drugs or smoking. For young people who just get access to society, they would choose to eat in fast-food restaurants if they have meals single which is definitely have much less nutritious (nutrition) than having dinner with their families.
1 X) [1 r5 w! {" P# T3 L2 {3 m8 q
  F2 U7 {: |1 A/ U; |9 ]
In sum, there is no doubt that it is important for families to eat meals together regularly for eating together helps families achieve better communication and build stronger relationship, children perform better at school, adult act better in community and the whole family members enjoy better nutritious meals.感觉三个better有点重复,最好能改变一下说法。


整体语言和思路都不错,字数很足哈~
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-23 10:26:28

2.23 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students are more influenced from their teacher rather than their friends.

Nowadays, many people are wild about education problems. One of the hottest questions under debate is whether students are more influenced from their teacher rather than their friends or not. Some people hold the approval issue because they convince that students attending school is to get educated and teachers are full of life experiences. But I disagree with that. In my opinion, students are more influenced from their friends because of the following reasons.

First, see from the hours students spend with teachers, it is obviously that students spend more time with their friends than their teachers. In students daily lives, ordinarily they only meet their teachers in class. However, they can meet their friends both in and after class. For example, when I was in middle school, I spent 7 hours in class. But I continued hung around with my friends after class even include weekends. We studied together and shared our own ideas in order to acquire more information. In my experiences it seems that the influences from teachers are limited.

Second, for most of time the communications between teachers and students are monodirectional while between students and their friends are bidirectional. It is very seldom that a student would talk to his teacher as much as his teacher talks to him. In the conversation between teachers and students, students would just to receive but not to exchange. Thus the effects generating under this situation are not so effective since students would get tired of listening. But it would act opposite while communicating with their friends. They would talk to each other, transport their ideas to each other and do motions to each other. As a result, the influences among them double and go deep.

Somebody may argue that it can’t be ignored that there many good teachers who have endeavored to exercise influence on their students. Commonly their approach is to have the students who always get low grade talk in his office. However it doesn’t seem that influential on occasion that teachers don’t really understand their students’ thoughts and why problems come out. This function works, but influence from friends gets better.

So, I believe that students are more influenced from their friends who have similar perspective on life than from their teacher who have less time spending with them and don’t usually listen but just talk.
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-23 11:51:45

2.23 综合  TPO4
In the lecture, the professor actually contradicts the statement made in the reading passage. She believes that dinosaurs are not endotherms i.e. they can't keep their bodies' temperature in a constant way.

First, the professor points out that where polar dinosaurs fossils have been found, were so much warmer than today that could support not-endotherms animals to live. Thus the uncorrected evidence provides in reading passage cannot prove dinosaurs were endotherms.

Second, the professor cast doubt on the reason of the placement of dinosaurs' legs. She provides another explanation for having legs under the body that dinosaurs need their legs under their bodies to supports more weight in order to grow to a very large size.

What's more, talk about bone structure, the professor tells us another thing----gross rings---- existed in dinosaurs' bones which haven't been mentioned in reading passage. Gross rings, according to the professor, indicate periods of time when dinosaurs weren't rapidly growing. These gross rings are evidence that dinosaurs stop growing or grow more slowly during cooler periods. Because growth and then rapid growth again is characteristic of not-endotherms animals, and dinosaurs acted the opposite way, dinosaurs were not endotherms.
作者: 笑会计    时间: 2011-2-23 22:39:24

不好意思晚了
In terms of whether Rembrandt painted Portrait of an Elderly Woman in a White Bonnet, the reading and the listening are contradictory to each other.2 z2 I' Z( ~6 y% I% n- I

7 O( L$ l; O- I+ o1 d% fFirst, the professor in listening passage reveals that the fur color mentioned in reading passage isn't the part of the original painting. X-ray and pigments in the paint's analysis shown that the fur color was painted over the original painting about 100 years after. She presumes that is because people want to increase the value of the painting.2 c: p6 `) B/ r# v

# V; X1 r* `: y" }5 v& C; ~
Second, the professor points out that in the original painting which can be seen after added fur color removed, the face appears partially in shadow just as what people expect. The woman in original painting is wearing a simple color of lighted colored cloth which reflects light that illuminated parts of the woman's face.(可以加一句与原文对比的句子). I/ U6 |: |; z3 g& G6 W

0 B1 x9 C% X3 v% I
Finally, the professor gives another truth(感觉用truth不是很贴切,fact比较好) which is also found after the fur color removed that the original paintings actually painted on the single piece of wood. People who enlarged the painting's size and tap with extra wood pieces glued may be desire to make the painting more grand and valuable. She also adds a proof that researchers have found that piece wood of the original paintings is from the very tree. Rembrandt has used the wood panel for another painting----his self-portrait---- from this same tree.
作者: PsMaggie    时间: 2011-2-24 09:29:08

谢谢angie和笑会计~!
作者: ilovevicky    时间: 2011-2-24 12:38:18

33# PsMaggie

2/23的改好咯,一起进步,加油~~~~
作者: bibby00888    时间: 2011-2-24 18:23:54

In the lecture, the professor actually contradicts the statement made in the reading passage. She believes that dinosaurs are not endotherms i.e. they can't keep their bodies' temperature in a constant way.4 n/ S9 \6 Q2 n, a( r(感觉这句话是里面的一个分论点,在第一段出现有些不妥): m& }5 J2 X4 T; r  qFirst, the professor points out that where polar dinosaurs fossils have been found, were so much warmer than today that could support not-endotherms animals to live. Thus the uncorrected evidence provides in reading passage cannot prove dinosaurs were endotherms.(还有一个点是,即使是极地寒冬恐龙也能迁徙到温暖的地方,很重要哦4 r# _- W/ G$ B, L+ R5 f4 Q" O- U7 H1 A3 \/ ]- D, v; x' T
Second, the professor cast doubt on the reason of the placement of dinosaurs' legs. She provides another explanation for having legs under the body that dinosaurs need their legs under their bodies to supports more weight in order to grow to a very large size.
$ q* G7 w/ [! ^5 Z, ~8 V) r$ q  Q5 t* X
What's more, talk about bone structure, the professor tells us another thing----gross(应该叫Growth rings吧!和生长有关哦!) rings---- existed in dinosaurs' bones which haven't been mentioned in reading passage. Gross rings, according to the professor, indicate periods of time when dinosaurs weren't rapidly growing. These gross rings are evidence that dinosaurs stop growing or grow more slowly during cooler periods. Because growth and then rapid growth again is characteristic of not-endotherms animals, and dinosaurs acted the opposite way, dinosaurs were not endotherms加强踩点!加油。。。。嘿嘿




欢迎光临 寄托家园留学论坛 (https://bbs.gter.net/) Powered by Discuz! X2