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标题: xiangtuo的作文帖~~ [打印本页]

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-5-5 13:00:39 标题: xiangtuo的作文帖~~

第一次写作文~第一次发帖~~纪念下~~

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-5-5 13:02:53

Do you agree that the government should support the scientific research even there’s no practical use?
Currently , more and more nations focus on the development of science and technology, as the result, governments paid more on scientific research. But as we know, the latest scientific researches are always in the areas as space exploration which are no practical use. In my eyes, I agree that the government should support the scientific research even there’s no practical use.
First of all, scientific research should be supported as the extreme importance of science and technology is known to all. One hand, science and technology can bring benefit to people's life. With Light rail, people can live conveniently and with mobile phone people can live effectively. On the other hand, science and technology help to protect the environment. People use more electricity or solar energy equipments and appliances could reduce the emission of greenhouse gas. And the widely use of smart car release no pollution also maintain the balance of the environment.
Equally important to the above, scientific research should be supported as to spur the people who hammer at it work harder and efficient. It was boring and tedious that scientific researchers may feel during the procedure. More seriously, they may meet fund shortage. With the encouragement and appropriation from government, researchers could concentrate in study and get further and greater achievement.
Although some scientific researches are no practical use right now, they may be valuable and useful in the future. Just like spacecraft landing on Mars, it is not meaningful to us now. But if one day humans would have to immigrant to Mars, the researches are significant.
In conclusion, from above the discussion, I may safely draw the conclusion that, the government should support the scientific research even there’s no practical use. Not only because science and technology is important to people's life and protect the environment , but also spur the researchers to work harder and efficient. Even there's no practical use right now, they may be valuable and useful in the future.

作者: 郝郝同学 时间: 2011-5-6 12:20:12

5.5
Do you agree that the government should support the scientific research even there’s no practical use?

Currently, more and more nations focus on the development of science and technology, as the result, governments paid more on scientific research. But as we know, the latest scientific researches are always in the areas as space exploration which are （is）no practical use. In my eyes, I agree that the government should support the scientific research even there’s no practical use.

First of all, scientific research should be supported as the extreme importance of science and technology is known to all. One hand, science and technology can bring benefit to people's life. With Light rail（这个词这里应该是名词但是是什么意思呢？）, people can live conveniently and with mobile phone people can live effectively. On the other hand, science and technology help to protect the environment. People use more electricity or solar energy equipments and appliances could reduce the emission of greenhouse gas. And the （去掉）widely use of smart car release （lead）no pollution（and） also maintain the balance of the environment.7 M3 u" m0 @+ l" \! Y. O) L

Equally important to the above, scientific research should be supported as to spur the people who hammer at it work harder and efficient. (俩动词？)It was boring and tedious that scientific researchers may feel during the procedure. More seriously（更严重的是？那后面就应该是前面从句）, they may meet fund shortage. With the encouragement and appropriation from government, researchers could concentrate in study and get further and greater achievement.* Y: a8 H. C3 n5 d. T% I$ B

Although some scientific researches are no practical use right now, they may be valuable and useful in the future. Just like spacecraft landing on Mars, it is not meaningful to us now. But if one day humans would have to immigrant to Mars, the researches are （turned out to be ） significant! j. u* Q A& X

In conclusion, from above the discussion, I may safely draw the conclusion that (与in conclusion 重复), the government should support the scientific research even there’s no practical use. Not only because science and technology is important to people's life and protect the environment, but also spur the researchers to work harder and efficient. Even there's no practical use right now, they may be valuable and useful in the future.

作者有些语法上的东西需要加强下
主题句并没有给出具体的理由有点含糊
个别单词的用法需要注意

水平有限不妥之处望见谅！

作者: hyliu1-08 时间: 2011-5-6 12:31:04

还需努力共同进步！
看些好的例文吧，容易找到感觉。

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-5-6 17:26:02

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term？
Currently, young people should face to the more and more severe situation of employment when they graduate from university or want job-hopping, which is because more talented people can be selected than before. Confronted to dilemma, some young people choose to try different job before they decide which could be their career. I am absolutely with this point. The reasons are below.
First of all, in the process of trying different jobs, abilities and skills can be practiced very much. Different kinds of abilities can be improved when dealing with diverse areas of problems. Just as my sister’s case. She is a lawyer but used to work in a foreign corporation as an adviser of law. Finally, she found that she prefer to be a lawyer than an office woman. And now she is a lawyer major in international case. I think that without the experience of working in foreign corporation, she would not have such perfect English ability which benefit to her now and help her to affirm her favorite career. In a word, different jobs could improve different areas of abilities and skills.
Equally important, friends can be made in doing diverse jobs. Friend is of importance to us all. It is friends that share the pain and joy with each other. If you take different jobs, you will have different colleagues, then you can make different friends. Many people have difficulty in making new friends now as they are limited with their range of friends. And taking different job can provide you enough opportunities to make new friends. So making more friends is another reason attracts me to choose trying more jobs.
In addition, taking more jobs could accumulate more working experience, which is very important to every young people. Nowadays, many companies prefer to accept the person who have working experience. As the result of that, many young people work in other places before they applying to their yearning corporation.
So, I agree with the point that Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term. Not only it may bring benefit to their skills improving and making more friends, but also cater to the employer more.

今天没手感写得没感觉臭长臭长的。。。

作者: tidus_xuan 时间: 2011-5-7 01:48:08

Currently, young people should face （这里可以改成are facing）to the more and more severe situation of employment when they graduatefrom university or want job-hopping, which is because more talentedpeople can be selected than before. Confronted to with such dilemma（dilemma用在这里感觉不太合适，用problem比较好）, some young people choose to try different jobs before they decide which could betheir career. I am absolutely with this point. The reasons are below.
(个人觉得第一句写得有点太繁琐了，表明现在就业压力大就可以了，比如可以改成 young people are facing much more severe situations ofemployment at graduation and job-hopping for the competition from more talentedpeople than before)

First of all, in the process of trying differentjobs, abilities and skills can be practiced very much（very much表示程度，好像这里不合适，可以用其他一些副词，比如constantly, repeatedly等等）. Different kinds of abilities can be improvedwhen dealing with diverse areas of problems. Just as my sister’s case（这句没有主谓语，不能单独成句）. She is a lawyer butused to work in a foreign corporation as an adviser of law. Finally, （这个连接词有问题，你之前没有begin，后面突然加了一个finally别人看不懂）she found that she prefer to be a lawyer thanan office woman. And now she is a lawyer major in international case. I thinkthat without the experience of working in foreign corporation, she would nothave such perfect English ability which benefit to her now and help her toaffirm her favorite career. In a word, different jobs could improve differentareas of abilities and skills.! t1 h! d
(我觉得这个你姐姐的例子可稍作修改，主要体现第一份工作中的锻炼使其能更加容易的找到与自己职业目标相符的职业，并且第一份工作中的经验在第二个工作中得到发挥，我稍改了下，仅供参考 My sister, a lawyer major in international case, used to be a legaladvisor for foreign corporations. Skills and abilities acquired in the firstjob not only enabled her fulfilling the dream as a lawyer but also favored herhandling many difficult problems encountered in her second job.)

Equally important, friends can be made in doingdiverse jobs. Friend is of importance to us all. It is friends that share thepain and joy with each other. If you take different jobs, you will havedifferent colleagues, then you can make different friends. Many people havedifficulty in making new friends now as they are limited with their range offriends. And taking different job can provide you enough opportunities to makenew friends. So making more friends is another reason attracts me to choosetrying more jobs.
(这段一个明显的问题是虽然你说明了换工作可以结交很多朋友，但这对于你的长期职业选择来说有什么用处你没有说明)

In addition, taking more jobs could accumulatemore working experience, which is very important to every young people.Nowadays, many companies prefer to accept the person who have（has） working experience. As the result of that, many young peoplework in other places before they applying to their yearning corporation.

So, I agree with the point that Young people should trydifferent jobs before they decide whichjob or career they will do in the long term. Not only it may （not only放句首要倒装, may it）bring benefits to their skills improving（用improvement或者删） and making（make） more friends, but also cater to the employer more.
(最后一句用not only…but also不太妥，因为你的三个理由是并列的，你把前两个放在not only里，最后一个放在but also里，给人的感觉是最后的那个理由最为重要，前两个一样重要)

作者: hyliu1-08 时间: 2011-5-7 13:32:50

5月6日独立改

作者: 郝郝同学 时间: 2011-5-8 16:29:57

看到楼主发的短信息了！:loveliness: 可能当时有些地方真没看出来不好意思啦
你人很好！

作者: hyliu1-08 时间: 2011-5-8 22:21:45

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
. t0 {0 {5 k6 u7 u% [Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term？
+ B& D+ ^# a& }& S% ?% w. G' lCurrently, young people should face to the more and more severe situation of employment when they graduate from university or want job-hopping, which is because more talented people can be selected than before. Confronted to dilemma, some young people choose to try different job before they decide which could be their career. I am [url=]absolutely[/url][u1] with this point. The reasons are below., X/ o- U. J$ \# s
First of all, in the process of trying different jobs, abilities and skills can be practiced[url=] very much[/url][u2] . [url=]Different[/url][u3] kinds of abilities can be improved when dealing with diverse areas of problems. Just as my sister’s case. She is a lawyer but used to work in a foreign corporation as an adviser of law. Finally, she found that she [url=]prefer[/url][u4] to be a lawyer than an office woman. And now she [url=]is[/url][u5] a lawyer major in international case. [url=]I think that without the experience of working in foreign corporation, she would not have such perfect English ability which benefit to her now and help her to affirm her favorite career.[/url][u6] In a word, different jobs could improve different areas of [url=]abilities and skills[/url][u7] .# \- k1 ~2 U% W. L" p# d3 G
Equally important, friends can be made in doing diverse jobs. Friend is of importance to us all. It is friends that share the pain and joy with each other. If you take different jobs, you will have different colleagues, [url=]then[/url][u8] you can make different friends. Many people have difficulty in making new friends now as [url=]they[/url][u9] are limited with their range of friends. And taking different job can provide you [url=]enough[/url][u10] opportunities to make new friends. So making more friends is another reason attracts me to choose trying more jobs.
4 X; V- O7 }# `7 C- J& ?In addition, taking more jobs could accumulate more working experience, which is [url=]very[/url][u11] important to every young people. Nowadays, many companies prefer to accept the person who [url=]have[/url][u12] working experience. As the result of that, many young people work in other places（不能理解“工作在不同的地方”Chinese english？） before they [url=]applying to[/url][u13] their yearning corporation.
% b. s( L w% J; E" }So, I agree with the point that Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term. Not only it may bring benefit to their skills improving and making more friends, but also [url=]cater[/url][u14] to the employer more.0 v( p1 r% w! ?9 {) u' l( H
$ d2 j$ Z5 ^/ z0 S
逻辑很好，三点理由想的也很好。就是在第三段时如果能把朋友对自已未来职业选择或未来生活的帮助描写一些就更好了，不然的话我觉得做不同的工作只是为了交更多的朋友的话，不是很有利的理由。
祝共同进步。
我的基础差一些，如果我哪里说得不妥的话。At every time，criticize me。I will accept it with pleasure。 Thanks。

[u1]少 “同意”吧

[u2]好像不用他也可以

[u3]Various 和multiple 也有多种多样的意思

[u4]+s

[u5]Grow into 是否更好？

[u6]这里用个条件状语从句是否更好，将要体现的结果放到前边。

[u7]Capabilities and qualities
不要老是ability and skill

[u8]And then

[u9]他们被朋友限制住了？
换个 their *** 是否更好

[u10]用 lots of或 amounts of
是否能更好的表达要说的意思呢？

[u11]Critical 可以换他

[u12]Has

[u13]此处用“开始工作”是否更好呢？starting or beginning

[u14]它迎合的意思是否占主导呢？换一下吧

作者: hyliu1-08 时间: 2011-5-8 22:54:10

Do you agree that the government should support the scientific research even there’s no practical use?
2 E9 \" o8 E# _7 R- f% B" I9 ]Currently ,[u1] more and more nations focus on the development of science and technology, as the result, governments [url=]paid[/url][u2] more on scientific research. But as we know, the latest scientific [url=]researches[/url][u3] are always in the areas as space exploration which [url=]are[/url][u4] no practical use. In my eyes, I agree that the government should support the scientific research even there’s no practical use.3 S% L( c7 Q2 O- D0 s( Z2 z
First of all, [url=]scientific research should be supported as the extreme importance of science and technology is known to all. [/url][u5] One hand, science and technology can bring benefit to people's life. With Light rail, people can live conveniently and with mobile phone people can live effectively. On the other hand, science and technology help to protect the environment. People use more electricity or solar energy equipments and appliances could reduce the emission of greenhouse gas. And the widely use of smart car release no pollution also maintain the balance of the environment.$ x: }9 \  H2 U1 k6 \4 E* r
[url=]Equally important to the above, scientific research should be supported as to spur the people who hammer at it work harder and efficient. [/url][url=]It was boring and tedious that scientific researchers may feel during the procedure. [/url][u6] More seriously, they may meet fund shortage. With the encouragement and appropriation from government, researchers could concentrate in study and get further and greater achievement.
[u7] [u8] z2 ]0 y# N2 c
Although some scientific researches(它在这好像是不可数名词) are no practical use [url=]right now[/url][u9] , they may be valuable and useful in the future. Just like spacecraft landing on Mars, it is not meaningful to us now. But if one day humans would have to immigrant to Mars, the researches are significant.* F% k; L! [# s! I
[url=]In conclusion, from above the discussion, I may safely draw the conclusion that, [/url][u10] the government should support the scientific research even there’s no practical use.  Not only because science and technology is important to people's life and protect the environment , but also spur（出现频率太多了） the researchers to work harder and efficient. Even there's no practical use right now, they may be valuable and useful in the future.
首先感谢你帮我改的作文，再次感谢，
我basic grammar不是很扎实，所以很谢谢你。
那么开始说你的作文吧。
一、
结构，从现在开始你要有意的根据托福的要求，来调整自己文章的结构。附約略的托福寫作模板，供参考3 ?& y  r: n$ n/ H3 g) t9 t% W5 _

* n" D" ^6 T. S* _Introduction--* l! M/ x9 a  P' X4 z+ p# Z" ^
(repeat the topic& Advantages/ drawbacks for A, B)0 Q$ Y6 t* ~/ l- n
(stance)As my inclination,...I think… (topic), 原因1,2,3 (supporting ideas)6 x" s* l& x% v$ O  L
Body--/ B3 J" e1 T! r# i1 e" f9 L
1. Topic sentence—supporting ideas. . n# `3 l) z) p0 Y/ B
Description/ explanation. >> examples
5 A) N$ G; a/ Z- `3 @2, 3 as above
: O% A* P' j1 I6 }+ q, ?1 c- GConclusion--
8 K1 Y9 K2 G0 I% D% hRepeat stance, and summarize your support ingideas.

具体要多看别人写的好的文章，来修炼出自己喜欢的各种题型的写作思路。
上边只是很小的一块，具体还要你自己摸索，看、总结。
二、
就是语言，看了好些帖子，t 注重逻辑，在该方向你还需努力。
三、
如果我给你指出的，有我犯错的地方，先谢谢你再帮我指出来。
祝
共同进步！

[u1]Vocabulary + , +空格

[u2]这里用个现在完成时是否更好呢？表已经

[u3]这里换个词，是否会更好呢？

[u4]这个非限的先行词是exploration么？那就应该is。不过我看不像这里应该指的是科学发现。那整个句式都要改。

[u5]这句话可以改的更好些的。因为太重要了，他要阐明你的第一个观点。

[u6]这句话有必要这么的绕么？用正常语序我觉得更流畅。

[u7]这段我本来盼望着能挂着点主题的边。但是，好像也是一直在宣扬科学的重要性，科学家应该被许以、、、

[u8]看到这出才想起来说：就是第二段你举的例子很好，也很全面，但第三段是否有点跑题。题目问的是，是否应该支持科学研究，即使没有实际功用。这块扯出这么多应该的支持科学研究者的原因。我的建议是把第二段的好论点具体挑出两个来，for instance，给人们带来的便利，和为保护环境提供的帮助。分别为第二段和第三段。这样第二段显得也不是那么的杂，文章论据也很充足。
这样也可以支持你最后一段的结论。

[u9]可否放在 although，之后，且换个词。

[u10]总结的话，你背的太多了吧，这块好像用三句中的一句就可以了，记得一位老师曾经说过。T比较注重实用，不像G 可以有好些套话。

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-5-13 16:20:36

5.13 综合
The reading passage and the listening material discuss the topic of whether a painting was created by Rembrandt himself. The author believes that it couldn't be while the speaker states that it was actually he painted, and gives three reasons.
   First of all, the reading passage contends that, there is something wrong with the woman dressed. She wears like a servant, but she has a luxurious fur collar that servant couldn't afford. In contrast, the lecture argues that the fur collar was painted over the original painting during over 1000 years after it was made, as a result, it was different from when it have made.
   Secondly, according to the reading passage, Rembrandt had a talent at painting light and shadow, but in this painting was painted without these elements. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt on the viewpoint by saying that these elements couldn't be found because these was wiped out by time during the long period time. The woman was wearing a simple and light clothes and her face was in shadow when the painting was just finished.
   Finally, the writer holds the opinion that the paint was on a panel made of several pieces of wood glued together which is not Rembrandt's style. Nevertheless, this is challenged by the lecture. She said that several pieces were because the initial painting was enlarged to be more valuable. Furthermore, there is evidence that the wood of a painting created of Rembrandt was similar to this one, which directly refutes the reading material.

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-5-13 23:21:03

5.13 独立~今天在做TPO3 所以写的是TPO的~
没有手感，写得不好很多话让我觉得找不到一个准确的措辞找不到语感所以拜托了！
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends?

Is it possible to tell whether the left hand is more useful than the right one? It would be ridiculous to argue that which is more important between keeping old friends or making new friends. In fact, old and new friends are both vital to ourselves, and just two hands of a human and two wings of a birds.
Old friends are the people we share the joy and sorrow with. And they may keep you company even put other thing away if you need. It is old friend that we first think of when we are in trouble. Venus is my best friends and I look at her as my sister from my teens. I was in trouble and need to get a material urgently last summer, I turned to her for help, and, to my surprise, she came to my city to send me the material in time. It is old friend that give you a hand when you need without any hesitation. So , the friend like this should keep for life long.
As a sword has two blades, we need to make new friend when we keep in touch with old friends. We have to face to new circumstances at any time during our life ,as the result of that, we meet new people as need. And, with more communication, we make more friends. New friends bring us new knowledge, new idea, new method and so on. Furthermore, as time goes, new friends become old friends and even bosom friends.
A famous person said that the number of friends is a standard to judge whether a man is successful. Therefore, both keeping old friend and making new friend are critical to our life. So, we could hardly to say which is better or more important than the other.

作者: zjxdxokzzy 时间: 2011-5-14 09:14:54

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?0 J& w- G/ D8 V$ C& X6 b
It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends?

Is it possible to tell whether the left hand is more useful than the right one? It would be ridiculous to argue that which is more important between keeping old friends or making new friends. In fact, old and new friends are both vital to ourselves, and just two hands of a human and two wings of a birds.

Old friends are the people with who we share the joy and sorrow with. And they may keep you company even put other thing away if you need. It is old friend that we first think of when we are in trouble. Venus is my best friends and I look at her as my sister from my teens. I was in trouble and needed to get a material urgently last summer(last summer放在句子开头说感觉会好些), I turned to her for help, and, to my surprise, she came to my city to sending(bringing更好,send的话是传送或者寄，就不需要came to my city了) me the material in time. It is old friend that give you a hand when you need without any hesitation. So , the friend like this should keep for life long.

As a sword has two blades(我Google了一下，基本没有这种用法。。), we need to make new friends when we keep in touch with old friends. We have to face to new circumstances at any time during our life ,as the result of that, we meet new people as need. And, with more communication, we make more friends. New friends bring us new knowledge, new idea, new method and so on. Furthermore, as time goes, new friends become old friends and even bosom friends. 可以再举一个你遇到的新朋友是如何帮助你的，然后后来这个朋友渐渐成为老朋友的例子

A famous person said that the number of friends is a standard to judge whether a man is successful. Therefore, both keeping old friend and making new friend are critical to our life. So, we could hardly to say which is better or more important than the other.

红色的是我给你添加的，灰色的是应该去掉的。。改的不好请多指教~

作者: tidus_xuan 时间: 2011-5-14 10:42:26

非常不好意思，因为我不知道你这是第几篇TPO（我是按照自己的顺序写的），所以只能当独立作文来改了，你随便参考下吧~~

作者: niehanmj 时间: 2011-5-14 21:42:33

我也改好了我的作文在我的帖子里谢谢批改~

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-5-16 16:18:05

5.16 综合写得是TPO4~
The reading passage and the listening material discuss the topic of whether dinosaurs are endotherms. The author believes that dinosaurs are endotherms while the speaker doesn’t think so, and the speaker gives three reasons.
First of all, the reading passage contends that the dinosaur fossils were found in polar region, which evident that they were endotherms. In contrast, the lecture argues that the polar regions used to be much warmer than now. And if there turned colder, the dinosaurs would migrate to other warmer places.
Secondly, according to the reading passage, the legs positioned underneath its body proved it is endotherm. But the professor in the lecture cast doubt on the viewpoint by saying that the structure like this could endure more weight. Dinosaurs were very large size, so their legs underneath their body, which is none of endotherm.
Finally, the writer holds the opinion that the bone of dinosaurs include Haversian canals that assure its rapid growth, which is a characteristic of endothermy. This is challenged by the lecturer. She points out the presence of growth rings, which evidence that dinosaurs didn’t grow or grew slowly in cooler place, which directly refutes the reading material. It is stated in the listening.

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-5-16 21:29:26

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the losing of old friends？

In the contemporary era, with development of science and technology, more and more people know deeper about the outside world through modern media. As a result, many people would love to go to another place to chase their dream. However, moving to another place means losing many things that you own now, for example, old friends. But I didn’t think it is not a good thing to move to a new city or even a new country.
Of course, moving to a new place means that you couldn’t meet and talk to your old friends as many times as before. Thanks to the modern technology, you can chat and communicate with them by mobile phone , E-mail or some other ways. Their faces even can be seen at the same time by some ways when you chatting. Meanwhile, you can take convenient transportation to see them. Within one day, you can flight to the Southern Hemisphere from the Northern Hemisphere, let alone in one country. In a word, going to another place doesn’t mean to lose old friend, just influence on meeting with each other, and you can keep in touch with them by means of high technology.
As a sword has two blades, moving to a new place means that you can make new friends. You might know nothing about the new city when you just come there. It is new friend that help you your daily life and be your guide for visiting. With the time going on, new friends become old friends, and then, you will have a couple of old friends in this city.
Furthermore, friends are the more the better. Gaining more friends means that when you are in trouble, more hands will help you. As for me, I love to make friends and keep friendship with them. I enjoy chatting with them and with all opportunities and chances I can take, I would love to make more friends, no matter moving to another city.
In conclusion, it is not a bad thing to move to another city as you can make more new friends, and don’t afraid of losing old friends. If you don’t want to lose, you won’t lose.

写得不好多多指教~

作者: hd8390316 时间: 2011-5-17 10:39:19

5.16修改
The reading passage and the listening material discuss the topic of whether dinosaurs are endotherms. The author believes that dinosaurs are endotherms while the speaker doesn’t think so, and the speaker gives three reasons.（doesn't think so 太口语化，可以表达成the speaker rebuts/against....）
First of all, the reading passage contends that the dinosaur fossils were found in polar region, which evident that they were endotherms. In contrast, the lecture argues that the polar regions used to be much warmer than now. And if there turned colder, the dinosaurs would migrate to other warmer places.
Secondly, according to the reading passage, the legs positioned underneath its body proved it is endotherm. But the professor in the lecture cast doubt on the viewpoint by saying that the structure like this could endure(endure 是忍耐、忍受、持久、耐久的意思，个人觉得suppor比较合适) more weight. Dinosaurs were very large size, so their legs underneath their body, which is none of endotherm.
Finally, the writer holds the opinion that the bone of dinosaurs include Haversian canals that assure its rapid growth, which is a characteristic of endothermy. This is challenged by the lecturer. She points out the presence of growth rings, which evidence that dinosaurs didn’t grow or grew slowly in cooler place, which directly refutes the reading material. It is stated in the listening.

作者: hd8390316 时间: 2011-5-17 10:40:03

这篇写的很精炼。听力材料里的意思全部都写到了，写的很不错~

作者: EMP_CHENG 时间: 2011-5-17 22:43:04

不好意思批晚了

网盘：
http://u.115.com/file/e6cj5bje

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-5-17 23:20:05

Do youagree or disagree with the following statement? Moviesand televisions should always show audience good people being rewarded and badpeople being punished.

Nowadays, with the development of the society, a various kinds of movies and televisions can be chosen by different group of people. Audience is all fascinated in the story, ending or else, no matter loving movies or soap TV play. But have you ever found that movies and televisions always showed audience good people being rewarded and bad people being punished? Some oppose the status while the others support. I agree with it with my own points.
Admittedly, the final result of good and bad people being doom may limit the change of the movies and televisions. But that ending is exactly what audience wants to see. In everyone’s mind, the evil should be punished and the hero should be rewarded. Moreover, just as audience predicts the ending, they can enjoy the thrilling and unexpected development of the plot.
It is so dangerous and turbulence that the society will be if more movies and televisions with the good not being rewarded and the bad not being punished were showed. Because the outcome like that challenged the standard of moral of public. What’s more, some people imitate the plot and do bad things to other people or society dreaming not being punished. In this condition, the movies and television make a very bad impression to the society.
Even worse influence will have on children and teenagers, as they are at the stage of developing in physical. I still remember that in my childhood, my parents and teachers always told me that don’t do bad things or I would be punished. I was afraid of being punished, as the result of that, I didn’t dare to do any bad things. It is very important to children and teenagers to contribute this point as it will go along with the whole life. At this time of utmost importance, the movies and televisions with the good not being rewarded and the bad not being punished would disturb the growth of little audience even lead them to crime.
In conclusion, I agree with the movies and televisions should always show audience the good being rewarded and the bad being punished, no matter from the aspect of keeping the safe and harmony of the society or the well environment for the growth of children or teenagers

作者: EMP_CHENG 时间: 2011-5-18 02:32:40

5月16

独立

作者: zjxdxokzzy 时间: 2011-5-18 21:46:47

5.17独立改好

作者: leungace 时间: 2011-5-19 00:34:45

5.17 改
Nowadays, with the development of the society, a去掉！various kinds of movies and televisions can be chosen by different groupgroups of people. Audience is all fascinated in the story, ending or else, no matter loving movies or soap TV playplays. But have you ever found that movies and televisions always showed audience good people being rewarded and bad people being punished? Some oppose the status while the others support. I agree with it with my own points.（首先，开头的第一句话不是说写得不好，但是这种说法太普遍了，建议你多想些描述开头的方式，在没有别的方法或者实现想不出其他的方法开头下，再用这个句子开头。其次，首段的段尾应该清楚表达出your points are what ??!!!!）8 i& u. |6 i! K
Admittedly, the final result of good and bad people being doom may limit the change of the movies and televisions. But that ending is exactly what audience wants to see. In everyone’s mind, the evil should be punished and the hero should be rewarded. Moreover, just as audience predicts the ending, they can enjoy the thrilling and unexpected development of the plot. （这一段你要用例子或者更详细的对论点的分析来支撑你的观点啊。直接这么写是不够的！！！）
It is so dangerous and turbulence that the society will be if more movies and televisions with the good not being rewarded and the bad not being punished were showed. Because the outcome like that challenged the standard of moral of public. What’s more, some people imitate the plot and do bad things to other people or society dreaming not being punished. In this condition, the movies and television make a very bad impression to the society. （太chinglish了，多在遣词造句上下功夫！）
Even worse influence will have on children and teenagers, as they are at the stage of developing in physical. I still remember that in my childhood, my parents and teachers always told me that don’t do bad things or I would be punished. I was afraid of being punished, as the result of that, I didn’t dare to do any bad things. It is very important to children and teenagers to contribute this point as it will go along with the whole life. At this time of utmost importance, the movies and televisions with the good not being rewarded and the bad not being punished would disturb the growth of little audience even lead them to crime. （如果你把你父母叫你不要做坏事的例子换成你父母叫你不要看一些暴力的电影从而使你懂得遵守规则之类的，是不是更好支撑the influence from movies and tv programs呢？）
In conclusion, I agree with the movies and televisions should always show audience the good being rewarded and the bad being punished, no matter from the aspect of keeping the safe and harmony of the society or the well environment for the growth of children or teenagers

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-5-19 20:35:06

5.19 独立
In the contemporary era, with the development of the society, people are challenged by the rapid pace of working and living, and don’t have enough time to entertainment and relax themselves. As a result of that, some people would not feel happy and attributes it to too much possessions. I don’t agree with people would be happier if they had fewer possessions with my own point.
Admittedly, some poor people feel happier than the rich just because they are satisfied with the circumstance and don’t want more , especially fortune. As an old Chinese saying goes, a man who is contented will be happy. The person would feel happy if they are content with their life, no matter less or more possession.
Besides, the people without enough possession won’t feel delight when they face to the high price of groceries, clothing or apartment house. For instance, my friends faced to a big problem which is a big problem which is no money to afford an apartment house bothered a friend of mine for a long period of time as he would marry. He didn’t buy any new clothes and ate simple and unadorned for nearly one year. Last time I met him, he said to me that only he live the life like this for 2 years more could he bought an apartment which is just for 2 people. Now he feel depressed and hopeless for his life.
As far as I am concerned, more money could be used to entertain and satisfy demanding which may be a dream of many people. Many people hope to be millionaire just for admire products or travelling to anyplace in the world. Didn’t a man feel unhappy if he get enough money for travelling to his dreaming island, or didn’t a girl feel unhappy if she own enough money for her dreaming luxurious bags. I think all these answers are no. More money could be used to ornament our lives and achieve dreams.
In conclusion, people won’t be happier if he have fewer possessions, as he would bother with daily problems and lose chances to entertainment and achieve dreams.

作者: 鱼.小白 时间: 2011-5-21 01:24:20

revised.

作者: hypnosis@1122 时间: 2011-5-21 20:21:37

改的有点晚了，sorry
好好养病，好点了再帮我改

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-5-24 18:54:38

5.24综合 TPO5
Their reading passage and the listening material discuss the topic of how the great houses were used . The author gives three theories but the speaker argues and gives reasons in the passage.
First of all, the reading contends that the great houses were for living while the lecture argues against. The professor contradicts that if there once lived hundreds of people, it would have many fire places. In fact, the fire place there is very few. The fire places for 10 families were found in the largest room which could contain hundreds families.
The second theory is that the great houses were used to hold crops. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt by saying that if there was once used as storing grain maize, why no grain maize on the floor, or any big containers for grain maize were found.
The third theory is that the houses were used as special ceremonial centers. Nevertheless, this is challenged by the lecturer. He doesn’t think that the enormous mound formed by a pile of old material found in the park was the proof of special ceremony remaining, but the building material which didn't use up. In this way, the professor contradicts the reading passage.

作者: 鱼.小白 时间: 2011-5-25 21:49:32

Their reading passage and the listening material discuss about the topic of how the great houses were used . The author gives three theories but the speaker argues( disagrees) and gives reasons in the lecture.
First of all, the reading contends that the great houses were for living while the lecture argues against it. The professor points out that if there once lived hundreds of people, it would have many fire places. In fact, the fire place was very few over there. The fire places for 10 families were found in the largest room which could contain hundreds families.( you should write what this discovery tells us. such as, the very few number of the fire places shows the great houses were not for living purpose.)

The second theory is that the great houses were used to hold crops. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt by saying that if there was once used as store room(warehouse, Granary) for grain maize, why no any grain maize on the floor, or any big containers for grain maize were found.

The third theory is that the houses were used as special ceremonial centers. Nevertheless, this is challenged by the lecturer. He doesn’t think that the enormous mound formed by a pile of old material found in the park was the proof of special ceremony remaining, but the building material which didn't use up.( what do you mean by the building materials which didnt use up) In this way, the professor refutes the reading passage.

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-5-31 22:34:07

Agree or not. In twenty years, there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.

Science and technology may be developed rapidly in the following twenty years, as the result of that, more and more high-tech machines and objects will be invented. Some people said that there would be fewer cars in use as cars would be replaced by new and more advanced vehicle. I don’t think so with my own points.
Admittedly, we all don’t know what will be invented with the evolution of science and technology. Perhaps some superior transportation will come into world which will fascinate everyone’s eyesight. But the question is it would cost too much to afford such a new vehicle though many people want to own one, just as smart cars now. Many people are keen on them but few people could purchase one as the price of it is too high.
The first and the most important reason that cars won’t be fewer in the future is that cars are the most convenient transportation. Nowadays the fastest and the most advanced transportation is maglev whose moving is based on its special railway and unique operation system. In this growing trend, advanced and high-technology transportation will be invented and even come into use in the two decades but probably operate on a track, which means, it won’t an amenity for every single person. People may cover several streets to get to its station. As far as I am concerned, people won’t abandon convenient and comfortable cars of their own though new inventions have come into use.
Furthermore, cars will be ameliorated and improved as technology progress in the following 20 years. It will take a very long period of time to invent a bran-new transportation whose function is the same as that of cars’. Just as the steam train, which was first invented in 1804, was eventually replaced by combustion engine several decades years later. And now all the trains are of electric power. After several centuries, trains are still in use and more than ever before, but after being ameliorated, none could instead of them.
In conclusion, I don’t think there will be fewer cars in use than there are today in 20 years as cars are the most convenient transportation and will be improved as technology progress. Cars would still be in the ascendant though new inventions occur and even come into use.

作者: phoenix2011 时间: 2011-6-1 00:03:31

30# xiangtuo

作者: zahngxin 时间: 2011-6-1 19:44:12

xiangtuo(我爱豆包)--Agree or not. In twenty years, there will be fewer cars in use than there are today..
Science and technology may be developed rapidly in the following twenty years, as the result of that, more and more high-tech machines and objects will be invented. Some people said that there would be fewer cars in use as cars would be replaced by new and more advanced vehicle. I don’t think so with my own points/while I rebut this for the following points.

Admittedly, we all don’t know what will be invented with the evolution of science and technology. Perhaps some superior transportation will come into world which will fascinate everyone’s eyesight. But the question/problem is it would cost too much to afford such a new/advanced vehicle though many people only want to own one, just as smart cars now. Many people are keen on them but few people could purchase one as the price of it is too high.(前面并没有说东西先进就会价格高，而你这里却用到了这个推理。我觉得这一段的主要意思你没有直接写出来，写出来之后会更好。第二段是不是说：二十年之后的车会比较先进，所以价格会比较高，很少有人能够买得起)
The first and the most important reason that cars won’t be fewer in the future is that cars are the most convenient transportation. Nowadays the fastest and the most advanced transportation is maglev whose moving is based on its special railway and unique
operation system. In this growing trend, advanced and high-technology transportation will be invented and even come into use in the two decades, but probably
be operate on a track, which means, it won’t an amenity for every single person. People may cover/ go through several streets to its station. As far as I am concerned, people won’t abandon convenient and comfortable cars of their own though new inventions have come into use. (我不知道这个cover用的对不对，我会用go through)
Furthermore, cars will be ameliorated and improved
as technology progress in the following 20 years. It will take a very long period of time to invent a bran-new transportation whose function is the same as that of cars’. Just as the steam train, which was first invented in 1804, was eventually replaced by combustion engine several decades years later. And now all the trains are of electric power. After several centuries, trains are still in use and more than ever before, but after being ameliorated, none could instead of/replace
them.(这一段也没有直接写出主要意思，你觉得呢？就是说吧你的原因写出来，你只写了“原”没有体现出“因”--关系)
In conclusion, I don’t think there will be fewer cars in use than there are today in 20 years as cars are the most convenient transportation and will be improved as technology progress. Cars would still be in the ascendant though new inventions occur and even come into use.

作者: zahngxin 时间: 2011-6-1 19:48:15

32# zahngxin 不知道怎么回事，我回帖后就不能显示题字颜色了

作者: karen0809 时间: 2011-6-2 22:13:06

5.31作文

写得不错。欣赏！结构有层次,遣词造句灵活多样。
但是否两大点的第一点内容可以更充实一些？
另，末一段'safe"应该是“safety".
21# xiangtuo

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-6-2 23:14:26

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.

When I was a little girl, my teachers and parents always told me that in no circumstance could a child tell lie. And I did as their words. But I gradually found that it couldn’t work or even hurt myself or others in some situation. Then I doubt the words and conclude my own point that we could tell the lie or partly truth in certain occasion or relationship.
Admittedly, to be frank is a key character to a person as frank is a main factor to build trust with each other. Everyone in the society don’t want to contact with the person who always telling the lie. However, to be frank doesn’t mean always telling the truth but being honest and sincere. We all know that truth are always pain and may strongly hurt others, moreover, cause worse effect. Under certain circumstance can we tell a part of the truth or even tell the lie.
Sometimes we have to do like this because we don’t want to hurt or break the relationship with others, such as new friends or bosses. Take me for example. Tina, a new friend of mine, sent me a cup with strange pattern as my birthday present. I didn’t like it but I have to say that I loved its shape. She then gave me a hug and treated me as one of her best friends. I didn’t want to hurt her and lose her if I told the truth, and my words steady our friendship. The matters like this often occur on ourselves and around us. It is because we treasure and want to preserve the relationship that we don’t tell all the truth.
And sometimes we tell the lie just because it is a white lie. For instance, the final wish of a dying blind boy is to see the hoisting flag on the Tian’anmen Square, where is thousands mile from his bed, which draw attentions of the whole society. After several days’ prepared by all walks of life, the boy with his family board on the plane to Beijing, a capacious and well-decorated bus actually, and 2-hour driving to the Square after landing, he eventually get his destination which in fact is the playground of a high school. He then heard the whole process of the hoisting flag held by the students in the school. Finally he achieved his wish by the perfect cooperation of all the people just a week before his death. Can anyone say that this lie couldn’t be told? Lie as they told, they helped to finish a boy’s final wish which is significant to him. As far as I am concerned, white lie is needed under certain circumstance.
In conclusion, always telling the truth isn’t suit for any relationship or situation. And sometimes we could hide part of the truth or tell a white lie for hold the harmony of the relationship and protection for others.

作者: phoenix2011 时间: 2011-6-3 03:02:59

35# xiangtuo

作者: nn2qq 时间: 2011-6-3 05:29:55

When I was a little girl, my teachers and parents always told me that in no circumstance could a child tell lie. And I did as their words.(
they told me)
But I gradually found that it couldn’t work or even hurt myself or others in some situation. Then I doubt the words and conclude my own point that we could tell the lie or partly truth in certain occasion or relationship.
Admittedly, to be frank is a key character to a person as frank is a main factor to build trust with each other. Everyone in the society don’t want to contact with the person who always telling the lie. However, to be frank doesn’t mean always telling the truth but being honest and sincere. We all know that truth are always pain and may strongly hurt others, moreover, cause worse effect. Under certain circumstance can we tell a part of the truth or even tell the lie.& _, t: g5 O; y. k# b7 O (
Sometimes we have to do like this (是不是直接说tell lie 好一点，这样说容易让人误解）because we don’t want to hurt or break the relationship with others, such as new friends or bosses. Take me for example. Tina, a new friend of mine, sent me a cup with strange pattern as my birthday present. I didn’t like it but I have to say that I loved its shape. She then gave me a hug and treated me as one of her best friends. I didn’t want to hurt her and lose her if I told the truth, (I did not tell her my true feeling because I do not want to hurt her and lose her 原来那句是不是逻辑不太对“如果我告诉她实话我不想失去她？）)and my words steady our friendship. The matters like this often occur on
(to)ourselves and around us. It is because we treasure and want to preserve the relationship that we don’t tell all the truth.
And sometimes we tell the lie just because it is a white lie. For instance, the final wish of a dying blind boy is to see the hoisting flag on the Tian’anmen Square, where is thousands mile from his bed, which draw attentions of the whole society. After several days’ prepared by all walks of life, the boy with his family board on the plane to Beijing, a capacious and well-decorated bus actually, and 2-hour driving to the Square after landing, he eventually get (reach) his destination which in fact is the playground of a high school. He then heard the whole process of the hoisting flag held by the students in the school. Finally he achieved his wish by the perfect cooperation of all the people just a week before his death. Can anyone say that this lie couldn’t be told? Lie as they told, they helped to finish a boy’s final wish which is significant to him. As far as I am concerned, white lie is needed under certain circumstance.
In conclusion, always telling the truth isn’t suit (suitable) for any relationship or situation. And sometimes we could hide part of the truth or tell a white lie for hold the harmony of the relationship and protection for others.

整个文章的观点就是作者看来white lie 是可以有时甚至是必要的。用整个一大段去论述是不是显得有点乱，是不是可以试着分开比如第一在维持很好的人际关系中是必要的。第二也可以不伤害他人甚至帮助他人。

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-6-6 21:58:21

TPO6
The reading passage and the listening material discuss the e communal online encyclopedias . The author believes that there are three problems of it while the speaker states on the opposite and gives her three points in the lecture.
First of all, the reading passage contends that communal online encyclopedias often lack academic credentials. In contrast, the lecture argues that the errors in the encyclopedias could be easier corrected than that was printed on the paper. In this way, the professor contradicts the first view of the passage.
Secondly, according to the reading passage, the communal encyclopedias on the internet give hackers the chances to copy. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt on the viewpoint by saying that to avoid being changed, it could only be printed reading format.
Finally, the writer holds the opinion that the people don't know what is important or what is not if it was on the internet. This is challenged by the lecturer by saying that there is no need to worry about the space to conclude. And she also said that the various topics on the same aspect can truly reflect the interests of the public. What are demonstrated in the listening completely contradict what the reading passage indicates.

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-6-6 22:58:32

TPO6
Do you agree or disagree?
Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children.

In the contemporary era, science and technology developed in a higher degree than that of the era when my grandparents were children. Many high-tech objects and products which could bring a lot of benefit to us were come into the world. As the result of that, many people get a conclusion that life today is easier and more comfortable than it was many years before. I don’t agree with the statement with my own points.
When my grandparents were children, about 1930’s, The third technology revolution didn’t start yet. Compared with the living conditions of that time, how convenient and developed it is now. However, that doesn’t means that life today is easier and more comfortable than before. People today still feel life is harder and more uncomfortable than before as some essential aspects which affect our daily life take a turn for the worse.
First of all, people generally feel living is harder than any time before because of the great pressure of daily life. People are always hard to find a job after graduation, some of whom has to raise the family. Moreover, the prices of most products are growing day and day that consumers couldn’t afford, which is happening all over the world. As the result of all above, the rate of suicide is as over five times as that of 1930’s, which could reflect the fact directly.
Furthermore, people today don’t feel comfortable as 8 decades before for the reason that the situation of environment now is worse. In the last half a century, we destroyed a large amount of jungles , forests and prairies to get more woods and logs, which would disturb the balance of the nature badly. Moreover, to get the advanced of industry, pollution and waste were pulled into the river or the soil no matter how enormously damage it would bring to the environment. All of these have impact on human life. In this condition, people even couldn’t feel as comfortable as that of 1930’s.
In conclusion, life today isn’t easier and more comfortable than it was when my grandparents were children from the great living pressure and worse environment conditions though advanced science brings benefits to our lives.

作者: qianhuang 时间: 2011-6-7 08:38:08

6月6日独立修改

作者: hcp4715 时间: 2011-6-7 12:15:34

39# xiangtuo
6.6号TPO6 +独立作文修改

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-6-7 23:20:37

TPO1
Agree or not? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Nowadays, students in universities and colleges have more social activities and sports events. Some universities even spare no efforts to support the building of gym or swimming pool in finance. Some people argue that the schools should pay more attention on libraries and classes. As far as I am concerned, sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
Admittedly, no one could deny that the first and the most important responsibility of an undergraduate student is to develop their academic ability. But if students study day after day, they would lose the passion to study. At this time, sports and social activities should be adopted to promote their study.
First, doing sport is a good way to relax and exercise. Under great pressure of study, students may become tired and upset and need to be relaxed. Doing sports, like playing basketball or going to swim, is a perfect way to remove tired and depression. When you enjoy the excitement of shooting at a goal, you will forget the hopeless and upset which boring and tedious statistics and data brings to you. And after the cheer, you would study in spectacular efficiency as good mood and out of pressure. Moreover, doing sports can keep fit. Good health is the basis to your study. But there are still some schools that don’t have any sports facilities or have facilities out of use for the shortage of finance support. Schools should pay the same attention on building gyms and facilities as that of libraries for the relaxation and good health of students.
Furthermore, social activities should also be held at a proper frequency as they play a key role to study which couldn’t be replaced. Compared with studying in the classroom, social activities are more interesting and vivid. That’s why social activities are more popular among students. As the result of that, students could learn faster and more effective in social activities. And during the social activities, students could strengthen and review what they’ve learnt from the book. Meanwhile, they could learn the knowledge out of book, called social experiences, Which is essential and vital to their future. A man with rich social experiences is always superior in the candidates in the job interview. As the reason above, schools should give enough financial support, even more than that of classes’ on social activities.
In a nutshell, sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support for the sake of the benefits of students, relaxation, good health, knowledge strengthen and more social experiences.

作者: hcp4715 时间: 2011-6-8 12:37:35

6.7号独立作文修改

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-6-10 00:20:17

The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries'. Do you agree or disagree?(09, 10, 17)

No one could deny that the most important responsibility is to develop the academic abilities of students. As the result of that, every school spares no efforts on improving the quality of education. Some ones argue that the finance should be used on increasing teachers’ salaries’. I don’t agree with it with my own points.

Admittedly, increasing teachers’ salaries’ do increase the quality of education in some degree, but it is not the best and key way. If teachers get more money, they would focus on something else such as travelling and shopping instead of concentrating on teaching students. As far as I am concerned, raising teachers’ salaries’ couldn’t be expected as the best way to improve the quality of education.

The best and the most effective way in my mind is to supporting more finance on the facilities in the classroom such as slide projector and air conditioner, which would have a great effect on students. Students, whose positivity of study decide the quality of education, play the most vital role on the process of educating. Please imagine that students are studying in the classroom in hot summer. Everyone’s clothes are humid by the sweat. It is too hot and damp for students to be absorbed in study. Under no circumstance, would students study well in this condition. However, if air conditioner is installed, students would feel cool and comfortable, and would study effectively. In this way, quality of education will be improved by a wide margin.

Also, more lectures could be held to improve the quality of education as the instructional resources-teachers-are limited. Schools can pay more money to invite famous professor to held lectures to relieve this condition. To students, this way provide them a different angle to understand the knowledge they have learnt on the book and may bring tremendous benefit to them. Moreover, more lectures of difference subjects can broaden students’ horizon. To school, inviting celebrities and professors can bring new and novelty ideas or thoughts on teaching or administrating which could be accepted to improve the quality of education in some degree, which is called cultural exchange. As the result of that, good and suitable idea could be shared and then adopted in practice. So, holding more lectures is a perfect way to improve the quality of education as well, no matter to students or to schools.

In a nutshell, I don’t agree with the point that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase the teachers’ salaries’, but to purchase more teaching facilities and hold more lectures.

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-6-13 13:10:39

TPO7 综合
The reading passage and the listening material discuss the topic of the adoption of new ecocertified American wood in the U.S. The author believes that the American consumer wouldn't choose to use that while the speaker states against.
First of all, the reading passage contends that Americans would neglect the advertising of it as too much advertising received. In contrast, the lecture argues that actually Americans pay different attention to different kinds of advertising. They may prefer products claimed by independent certification agency other than others.
Secondly, according to the reading passage, consumers would pay more on the ecocertified wood. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt on the viewpoint by saying that Americans would care about the price only if the price is much higher or lower than others. If the difference between prices is small, like within 5 percent, they may focus on other facet other than the price.
Finally, the writer holds the opinion that the argument is not convincing as American wood sells most in the U.S.. Nevertheless, this is challenged by the lecturer. He thinks that it is international trade not because of the foreign consumer but international competition. The development of business of American wood is slow, but if it didn't start, the American market would be occupied by foreign products. In this way, the professor contradicts the third view in the passage.

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-6-13 15:37:39

TPO7
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts.

On this contemporary era, with the advancement of the society, the revolution of the way of education has sparked spirited controversy. It would be ridiculous to argue which is more important between the understanding of ideas and facts. As far as I am concerned, both are vital in study. They are just two hands of a man and two wings of a bird.
First, ideas and concepts play a vital role in the study of new knowledge as they are basis and principle. Under no circumstance could facts develop without well comprehend of ideas and concepts. Had Tomas Edison not realized the character of tungsten filament, he would not have invented light bulb. Had astronomers not understand Bode’s law, they would not have discovered the Asteroid Belt.
Moreover, learning facts is important as facts are vivid and fascinating that students would feel easier to study and understand the abstract ideas and concepts. That’s why teachers would love to quote examples when illustrate a new idea or concept. Knowledge which is felt to be boring is of little use but knowledge which is assimilated eagerly becomes a permanent possession. And students prefer lively knowledge; only in this way could students study with high efficiency.
Furthermore, ideas and facts are interrelationship. Ideas and concepts play a key role in the study of new knowledge under certain circumstance when combining with practice. It means, when doesn’t contact with facts and reality, ideas and concepts won’t come into play. And with the deep research of facts, researchers could discover more new ideas and concepts. They are in interaction.
Therefore, both ideas and facts are critical in the process of study. Under certain circumstance, it makes sense to say that one is more important than other. Nevertheless, without defining the exact case, by no means can one conclude either one is more important.

作者: yuchenz 时间: 2011-6-14 00:02:44

46# xiangtuo 第一段应该是In the era而不是on the era吧

第二段
in the study of sth. 在研究……的过程中
without后面应该加名词，所以是不是改成comprehension呢

第三段
facts are vivid and fascinating SO that students ...

倒数第二段
interrelationship n.: the way in which each of two or more things is related to the other or others. 所以可以说the interrelationship between A and B但是不可以说A and B are interrelationship.

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-6-15 23:59:48

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
To achieve successful development of a country, a government should focus its budgets more on young children’s education rather than on universities.

Is it possible to tell whether the left hand is more useful than the right one? It would be ridiculous to argue that whether more budgets should be focus on primary school or universities. In fact, both are vital in the process of achieving successful development. They are just like two hands of a human and two wings of a bird. Each plays a role and couldn’t be replaced.
Young children, primary school students, who just start their study, need more focus of every aspect, including budget support. As young children lack the abilities of self-control and telling right from wrong, they should be treated patiently and carefully involving all kinds of fascinating and interesting ways of education. As the result of that, more finance should be put into rudimentary education. Another main reason is that primary education is basis of further study. No one could deny the importance of elementary education is the cornerstone of cultivating person with abilities the more the better to a country. If they don’t have a good habit and developed way of study, they won’t be success in study in the end. Had Newton not be educated well in his childhood, he would not have discovered the law of gravity when he was bungled by an apple by accident. So, budgets should be used on young children to improve the quality of their education as high as better.
Meanwhile, the education on campus is the same as that of primary school because the main responsibility of universities is to provide professional on all walks of live to the society. However, professional courses are composed of many team works, experiences, model presentations which all need a large amount of money, and only in this way could undergraduate’s skills of their major treated well. Moreover, students in the universities need more chances of practice and internship during their study especially for senior students as working experience would play a vital role in the future when searching for a post. Many camps are held as well to broaden their horizon and improve their abilities of every aspect. In a word, education in the university needs financial supports as well.
Therefore, education on both young children and universities are critical in the development of society. Under certain circumstance, it makes sense to say that one way is better or more important than the other. Nevertheless, without defining the exact case, by no means can one conclude that one should focus more budget than another.

作者: piggy.6408 时间: 2011-6-16 12:58:05

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:6 t' @8 ]' P: b! ]
To achieve successful development of a country, a government should focus its budgets more on young children’s education rather than on universities.. g$ W* ^+ P) H% J9 ~; x

Is it possible to tell whether the left hand is more useful than the right one? It would be ridiculous to argue that whether more budgets should be focus on primary school or universities. In fact, both are vital in the process of achieving successful development. They are just like two hands of a human ortwo wings of a bird. Each plays a an importantrole and couldn’t be replaced.

Young children, primary school studentswho just start their study, need more focus fromevery aspects, including budget support. As young children lack the abilities of self-control and telling right from wrong, they should be treated patiently and carefully involving all kinds of fascinating and interesting ways of education. As the result of that, more finances should be put into rudimentary education. Another main reason is that primary education is thebasis of further study. No one could deny the importance of elementary education is the cornerstone of cultivating person with abilities the more the better to a country. If they don’t have a good habit and developed way of study, they won’t success in study in the end. Had Newton not be educated well in his childhood, he would not have discovered the law of gravity when he was bungled by an apple by accident. So, budgets should be used on young children to improve the quality of their education as high as possible.+ q4 g! I' U$ {

Meanwhile, the education on campus is the same as that of primary school because the main responsibility of universities is to provide professional knowledgeon all walks of live to the society. However, professional courses are composed of many team works, experiences, model presentations which all need a large amount of money, and only in this way could undergraduate’s skills of their major be treated well. Moreover, students in the universities especially for senior students need more chances of practice and internship during their study as working experience would play a vital role in the future when searching for a post. Many campus are held as well to broaden their horizons and improve their abilities of every aspects. In a word, education in the university needs financial supports as well.! N( f' Z- n+ _3 ?: h

Therefore, education on both primary school and universities are critical in the development of society. Under certain circumstance, it makes sense to say that one way is better or more important than the other. Nevertheless, without defining the exact case, no one couldconclude that one should focus more budget than another.

作者: piggy.6408 时间: 2011-6-16 13:02:04

搞死。。传不了文档，如果你要的话，我可以qq给你传。。哦对了。。如果我改的有误的话，希望你能告诉我哦。。谢谢了。。

作者: rlj021 时间: 2011-6-16 16:17:17

提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-6-19 23:46:19

TPO8~
The reading passage and the listening material discuss whether the long memoir of Seingalt was really written by himself. The author claims three points TC by critics while the speaker denies the three points in the passage.
First of all, the reading passage contends that he was not wealthy enough as he had borrowed money. In contrast, the lecture argues that he was really rich. He loaned from merchant as he didn't have cash which could supports the point that he had money just couldn't wait to arrive.
Secondly, according to the reading passage, it was impossible for him to remember exact words for many years. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt on the viewpoint by saying that he could remember and every could remember because he keep the habit of writing dairy for many years, which completely contradict what the reading passage indicates.
Finally, the writer holds the opinion that he couldn't escape from the prison although he have many powerful friends. Nevertheless, this is challenged by the lecturer. She thinks that he really escaped from the jail as the ceiling was repaired after he left there. If he were not escaped, the ceiling would not be repaired, which directly refutes the reading material.

作者: zhengxiao0312 时间: 2011-6-21 14:34:10 标题: RE: xiangtuo的作文

作者: 90后她爹 时间: 2011-6-21 16:03:32

52# xiangtuo
52#xiangtuo

TPO8~5 C: x) a3 M+Q( `, [
The reading passage and the listening material discuss whether the long memoirof Seingalt was really written by himself. The author claims three points TC（？？） by critics while the speaker denies（deny有点太大了，用否认罪名的时候用deny,这个仅仅是观点不同，这样用不恰当。可以用cast dounts或者contrast之类的）
the three points in the passage.

First of all, the reading passage contendsthat he（本段第一次提到人应该先说明人名。） was not wealthy enough ashe had borrowed money. In contrast, the lecture argues that he was really rich.He loaned from merchant as he didn't have cash whichcould supports the point that（啰嗦了。帮你改一下。On thecontrary, the lecture believes he was actually quite rich, and that he loanedfrom merchant was due to the money that he couldn’t wait to arrive.）
he had money just couldn't wait to arrive.

Secondly, according to the reading passage,it was impossible for him to remember exact words for many years. On thecontrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt on the viewpoint by sayingthat he could remember and every could remember(表达的什么意思？？） becausehe keep（kept） the habit of writing dairyfor many years, which completely contradict what the reading passage indicates.本段on thecontrary句逻辑不对，应该是the professor contents=> he kept diary=>hecould remember everything=>which is completely contradict the readingpassage

Finally, the writer holds the opinion that hecouldn't escape from the prison although he have many powerful friends.Nevertheless, this is challenged by the lecturer. She（she指代lecture了….） thinks that he reallyescaped from the jail as the ceiling was repaired after he left there. If hewere not escaped, the ceiling would not be repaired, which directly refutes thereading material.

作者: lbingbing 时间: 2011-6-23 22:43:26

13# zjxdxokzzy
那个一分为二的表达可以用a coin has two sides

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-6-30 23:28:35

TPO8

Agree or not? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged 2 to 5) should not be allowed.

In this contemporary era, with the advanced of the society, competition was more and more zealous. As the result, more advertising which show a variety kinds of products are played on the TV, including the advertisings directed towards young children. As far as I am concerned, I think the advertisings of that should not be forbidden all the time; some of them of actually perfect and benefit products should be allowed on the TV.
Admittedly, no one could deny the shortage of advertisings directed towards young children. That was mainly because young children may lack abilities of telling the right from the wrong and attract by some certain thing such as bright color easily as they were too young. If this disadvantage of young children was used by the company to introduce their products, more would be purchase for the reason that parents would satisfied the wish of children if their willing of owning on is strong. That result may strongly borrow the parents and disturb the balance of sales market.
However, for companies, television advertising is a key way to establish their brands. If their products were actually perfect or good enough, why shouldn't they introduce their products to people and bring benefit to them? Had the advertising of paper nappy not introduced to the public, the problem of all the parents would not be solved in a tremendous way. Moreover, young parents may obtain more knowledge from those advertisings, such as which kind of WJ was prefer to their child or which style of milk powder should be bought at every stage of their baby. In this way, young parents could do better as parent.
In a nut shell, the television advertising direct towards to the young children should not be allowed but some advertising of perfect and benefit good could be showed on the television to the public.

作者: 闫颜 时间: 2011-7-1 16:36:10

Agree or not? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged 2 to 5) should not be allowed.
In this contemporary era, with the advanced of the society（此处是想表达社会是先进的么？ in this advanced society是不是会更好）, competition was more and more zealous（换做fierce是不是会更恰当
）. As the result（应该是as a result）, more advertising which show （shows，advertising是不可数的。但是这里我觉得用promotes 会更恰当，广告是为了促销不仅仅是展示产品）a variety kinds of products are played on the TV, including the advertisings（此处换做those会更简洁） directed towards young children. As far as I am concerned, I think the advertisings of that （此处是不是可以更简洁用this kind of advertisings或者是the advertising of this kind）should not be forbidden all the time（我觉得这句很下句很不连贯诶，前句重点在这样的广告不能一直禁止，后面说有些广告不错；但是应该是并不是所有的广告都应该禁止，因为有些广告不错。即改为not all of those advertising should be forbidden because some of them are perfect and the products promoted in them are of benefit）; some of them of （是不是笔误啊，应该用are吧）actually perfect and benefit products should be allowed showed (这样会不会有利于理解)on the TV. ! q# [" }1 {7 A! m; g

Admittedly, no one could deny the shortage（shortage的意思是不足不够的意思，没有缺点的意思吧，用shortcomings或者说是negative effects） of advertisings directed towards young children. That was mainly because young children may lack abilities of telling the right from the wrong and attract(are more easily attracted) by some certain (some 和certain重复)thing（things） such as （有点不通顺，孩子们容易被一些商品吸引，例如明亮的颜色？商品和颜色不是同类的吧，改为which have）bright color easily as they were （are）too young. If this disadvantage of young children was used by the companies to introduce (promote)their products, more would be purchase (purchased)for the reason that parents would satisfied (satisfy)the wishes of children if their willing of owning on ??is strong. That result may strongly borrow(bother?) the parents and disturb the balance of sales market(这个理由有点牵强吧).

However, for companies, television advertising is a key way to establish their brands. If their products were（are） actually perfect or good enough（重复）, why shouldn't they introduce their products to people and bring benefit to them? Had the advertising of paper nappy not introduced to the public, the problem of all the parents would not be solved in a tremendous way. Moreover, young parents may obtain more knowledge from those advertisings, such as which kind of WJ was prefer to their child or which style of milk powder should be bought at every stage of their baby. In this way, young parents could do better as parent. , J; [7 Z; E- V6 [3

In a nut shell, the television advertising directed towards to （有没有重复）the young children should not be allowed but some advertising of perfect and benefit good could be showed on the television to the public.

这是我修改的第一篇作文，因为喜欢钻牛角尖而且都是从自己的写作习惯来修改的，水平有限实在抱歉，大家一起加油吧。
56# xiangtuo

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-7-2 09:57:46

TPO9 综合
The reading passage and the listening material both discuss the topic of whether the hydrogen-based engine would replace the internal-combustion engines. The author believes without hesitation. The speaker, however, states the opposite and denies the three points in the passage.
First of all, the reading passage contends that the fuel-cell engines utilize easily available. In the contrast, the lecture argues that the fuel is not easily available for it was purer liquid as needed which was difficult to produce and store. In this way, the professor contradicts the first view.
Secondly, according to the reading passage, using fuel-cell engine would solve many pollution problems. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt on the viewpoint. She said that during the process of producing the purer liquid fuel, it would produce a lot of pollution by burning carbon and oil. The car won't release the pollution while the factory would.
Finally, the writer holds the opinion that less money would cost to operate a fuel-cell engine. Nevertheless, this is challenged by the lecturer. She says that one metal called platoon was needed in the operation which was very expensive. And without it, even the operated car won’t undergo. Moreover, the cheaper material won’t replace it. In this way, the professor contradicts the view made in the passage.

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-7-2 12:47:32

TPO9
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.

In this contemporary era, with the advancement of the science and technology, our way of lives have changed a lot from before and our daily lives are filled with technology. However, the use of technology has sparked a widespread controversy. Someone points out that technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. I agree with this point with my own idea.
First of all, the wide use of high-tech machine may have great impact on children’s basic abilities like reading or accounting which are the basis of creative. Nowadays, more and more study computers for children are invented which contain a large amount of functions. It may bring convenience to students as they don’t need to write, just click on the mouse. However, as the result of that, the abilities of writing or accounting may reduce, which may directly impact the children’s creativity. No one could deny the idea that creative cannot be built on poor basis.
Furthermore, the use of technology may decrease the frequency of using brain. As too much functions provided by the high-tech machines, students don’t need to use their brain, just read or do as the machine says. Keeping doing in that way for a long period of time, their brain would not be as active as before. Under no circumstance could ability of creative developed in this situation. Hence they couldn’t be as creative as they were in the past.
Moreover, children may be dependent on technology and would not like to think. They would not love to take a lot of brain to think if technological machine has told them what to do and how to do. Had Newton not figured out the reason why the apple would fall, he would not have discovered the law of gravity. As the same, had children not thought of what and why, they would not have developed the ability of creative.
In a nut shell, technology do has made children less creative than they were in the past as the lack of basis, shortage of using brain and too much dependence.

作者: Monitor2011 时间: 2011-7-2 23:43:08

The reading passage and the listening material both discuss the topic of whether the hydrogen-based fuel-cell（建议补充完整）engines would replace the internal-combustion engines. The author believes without hesitation. The speaker, however, states the opposite and denies the three points in the passage.5 ^' }: `/ b. s3 Z& K6 r
First of all, the reading passage contends that the fuel-cell engines utilize easily available. In the contrast, the lecture argues that the fuel is not easily available for it was purer liquid as needed it was needed as pure liquid which was difficult to produce and store. In this way, the professor contradicts the first view.
Secondly, according to the reading passage, using fuel-cell engine would solve many pollution problems. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt on the viewpoint. She said that during the process of producing the purer pure liquid fuel, it would produce a lot of pollution by burning carbon and oil. The car won't release the pollution while the factory would.
Finally, the writer holds the opinion that less money would cost to operate a fuel-cell engine. Nevertheless, this is challenged by the lecturer. She says that one metal called platoon platinum was needed in the operation which was very expensive. And without it, even the operated car won’t undergo. Moreover, the cheaper material won’t replace it. In this way, the professor contradicts the view made in the passage.

综合按照这个结构写就行了，建议找一个听力文本，可以提前修改听力不准确的地方。

作者: Monitor2011 时间: 2011-7-3 00:01:11

TPO9& b2 j X: M7 |# s. \
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.

In this contemporary era, with the advancement of the science and technology, our way of lives have changed a lot from before and our daily lives are filled with technology. However, the use of technology has sparked a widespread controversy. Someone points out that technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. I agree with this point with my own ideas.
First of all, the wide use of high-tech machines may have great impact on children’s basic abilities like reading or and accounting which are the basis of creative creativeness. Nowadays, more and more study computers for children are invented which contain a large amount of functions. It may bring convenience to students as they don’t need to write, just click on the mouse. However, as the result of that, the abilities of writing or and accounting may reduce, which may directly impact the children’s creativity. No one could deny the idea that creative creativeness cannot be built on poor basis.2 n7 ]: C$ j3 k$ N* W
Furthermore, the use of technology may decrease the frequency of using brain. As too much functions provided by the high-tech machines, students don’t need to use their brain, just read or do as the machine says. Keeping doing in that way for a long period of time, their brain would not be as active as before. Under no circumstance could ability of creative developed in this situation. Hence they couldn’t be as creative as they were in the past. 感觉这一段说的内容和上一段重复，个人认为可以合并成一段。
Moreover, children may be dependent on technology and would not like to think. They would not love to take a lot of brain to think if technological machine has told them what to do and how to do. Had Newton not figured out the reason why the apple would fall, he would not have discovered the law of gravity. As the same, had children not thought of what and why, they would not have developed the ability of creative creativeness.
In a nut shell, technology do has does have made children less creative than they were in the past as the lack of basis, shortage of using brain and too much dependence.

观点还是清晰的，只是语法上有些错误。我也不怎么会修改，共同进步吧。

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-7-3 22:52:19

7月3号的~~

作者: 冰雪蜂鸟 时间: 2011-7-4 00:18:31

本帖最后由冰雪蜂鸟于 2011-7-4 00:26 编辑

48# xiangtuo

大概的看了一下楼主在48楼的文章（关于应该给小孩教育投资还是大学教育投资），我认为是非常中规中矩的一篇文章。总体来说很不错的！
有一两个语法问题，比如第二段第一句，“Youngchildren, primary school students, who just start their study, need more focusof every aspect, including budget support.”句号太多，分不清哪个是橘子主干，哪个是插入语，哪个是从句。
还有一个原因我不想写两个都好，是我不知道应该如何构建文章。楼主写的是四段式，第二段全部写资助小孩的好，第三段全部写资助大学生的好。我一开始想写五段，每一段都从一个方面写两个方面的好，但是对比这就发现写不下去了。。。。
我个人认为楼主的文章还有一点小小的欠缺就是，小观点多但是每一个观点都没有深入，例子比较少。所以给人有些空泛的感觉。
个人意见，继续讨论哈~

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-7-4 19:34:54

TPO10 综合
The reading passage and the listening material both discuss the topic of the reason of the rapid decline of sea otters. The author believes that the pollution hypothesis seemed more likely while the speaker think it was caused by predators.
First of all, the passage contends that the chemical pollution along the coast cause they decline. In contrast, the lecturer argues that there was no died sea otters on the coast in fact as it’s eaten immediately If an otter is killed by a predator, which directly contradicts the viewpoint made in the passage.
Secondly, according to the reading passage, other sea mammals also declined as the result of pollution. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt on the viewpoint by saying that the orcas have no food to survival but to hunt sea mammal like sea otters. What are demonstrated in the listening completely contradict what the reading passage indicates.
Finally, the reading passage holds the opinion that the uneven pattern of otter decline as the pollution hypothesis by ocean currents. Nevertheless, this is also challenged by the speaker. She thinks that the result of whether the sea otters decline or not depends on their location accessible to orca or not. The remained otters are because they locate in shallow and rocky area where the orca couldn't be access. In this way, the professor refutes the reading material.

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-7-4 19:35:15

独立
Do you agree with the following statement? People holding different views cannot achieve success as a team.

In this contemporary era, with the advancement of the society, more and more people realize the importance of a team. As the result of that, more and more people would love to achieve success as a team. However, someone argues that people holding different views in a team cannot achieve success in the end. I don't agree with that with my own points.
Admittedly, people holding different opinions in a team may impact the monolithic solidarity of their team. But that could be overcomed under the influence of leaderships. And actually, that brings more benefits than harm.
In reality, they would get a comprehensive viewpoint from the controversy of the different ideas. The reason why team members would hold different viewpoints is that they consider the same question from the diverse aspect. If they could combine the different point and obtain a perfect one, they may achieve the success more effectively. Just as my team. We always hold the opposite points, but our leader would absorb the advantages from the two points and achieve a better one. That's the key of the success of our team.
Moreover, the team would success because its members are active enough as they are willing to think. No one could deny that the activity plays a vital role in a successful team. Only if the members are willing to and dare to figure out different views could the team really advance towards success. Had the team of Einstein not been active enough, they would not have discovered the theory of relativity.
In a nut shell, people hold different views could achieve success as the members Unified leadership, thinking comprehensively and being active enough.

作者: 应小呆 时间: 2011-7-5 11:05:48

第一次改作文，如有不对，还请海涵O(∩_∩)O~
TPO10 综合) D8 A8 B0 ?! s8 U1 g, |
The reading passage and the listening material both discuss the topic of the reason of the rapid decline of sea otters.（我觉得这里of用的有点太多了，我觉得可以改成这样The lecturer talks about why the sea otters suffer a rapid decline,whose opinion contrast the writer's） The author believes that the pollution hypothesis seemed more likely(改为seem to have more possibilities如何？因为我记得likely好像一般不做表语的，而且这样可以增加字数==),while the speaker think it was caused by predators.

First of all, the passage contends that the chemical pollution along the coast causes(cause对应的chemical pollution 是不可数的) they（没有先行词？用所有格？改为sea otters'?） decline. In contrast, the lecturer argues that there was（时态？） no died sea otters on the coast in fact as it’s(前面sea otters是复数) eaten immediately If an otter is killed by a predator, which directly contradicts the viewpoint made in the passage.（这句话的句子结构有些混乱，改成这样会不会清晰一点呢？In contrast,the lecturer argues that there are no died sea otters on the coast. This fact suggests they be killed by their predator, wich directly contradicts the viewpoint made in the passage ）

Secondly, according to the reading passage, other sea mammals also declined as the result of pollution. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt on the viewpoint by saying that the orcas have no food to survival but to hunt sea mammal like sea otters. What are(is) demonstrated in the listening completely contradicts what the reading passage indicates.* d8 E6 A8 u+ V) }3 z

Finally, the writer of the (因为passage没办法hold opinion, 一己之见)reading passage holds the opinion that the uneven pattern of otter decline as the result of the pollution hypothesis by ocean currents. Nevertheless, this is also challenged by the speaker. She thinks that the result of whether the number of sea otters declines or not depends on their location accessible to orca or not. The remained otters are because (the reason why some sea otters are remaine is that) they locate in shallow and rocky area where the orca couldn't be access. In this way, the professor refutes the reading material.

喵，豆包酱听力很好呢，说实话最后那个理由我根本就没弄清楚在说什么，只好生编硬造......
而且豆包酱的连词用的很好~我是不会用连词君==要向豆包同学学习~

作者: 应小呆 时间: 2011-7-5 11:46:24

欢迎来改我的作文~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1280678-1-1.html

Do you agree with the following statement? People holding different views cannot achieve success as a team.

In this contemporary era（this 和 contemporary 意思重复了）, with the advancement of the society, more and more people realize the importance of a team（of teamwork?）. As the result of that, more and more people would love to achieve success as a team. However, someone argues that people holding different views in a team cannot achieve success in the end. I don't agree with that with my own points.

Admittedly, people holding different opinions in a team may impact the monolithic solidarity of their team. But that could be overcomed under(by?否则逻辑上that没有主语了) the influence of leaderships. And actually, that（指代不明） brings more benefits than harm. * w1 V. Q1 T( _

In reality, they would get a comprehensive viewpoint from the controversy（从词义上来说不太恰当呢） of the （不明白为什么要特指）different ideas. The reason why team members would hold different viewpoints is that they consider the same question from the（为什么要特指？） diverse aspects（因为diverse各种各样的，所以一定不是一种）. If they could combine the different points（different 应该不止有一个，只有一个就是same了） and obtain a perfect one, they may achieve the（为什么要特指？） success more effectively. Just as my team. We always hold the opposite points, but our leader would absorb the advantages from the two points and achieve a better one. That's the key of the success of our team.

Moreover, the（a?因为这里讨论的是泛指意义上的team不是某一个） team would success because its members are active enough as they are willing to think（are active enough to be willing to think?我觉得这样更地道些~）. No one could deny that the activity plays a vital role in a successful team. Only if the members are willing to and dare to figure out（figure out 的意思主要是算出、想出、解决不知道豆包用的是哪一个，不太明白这句话的意思喵。但是 only if 的倒装句用的很好~我得记下来~） different views could the team really advance towards success. Had the team of Einstein not been active enough, they would not have discovered the theory of relativity. （不是爱因斯坦一个人发现的？）

/ J8 {% Y7 q% y' T;
Z
In a nut shell, people hold different views could achieve success as the members Unified leadership（不太明白，是不是 as the members of a team under a unified leadership?）, thinking comprehensively and being active enough.（不太明白什么意思？）

豆包你似乎对the有种不可抑制的执念呢，O(∩_∩)O~

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-7-18 23:09:10

豆包归来~7.9一战后重整旗鼓准备二战！
发帖纪念~

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-7-18 23:10:03

7.18 独立~
好久不写手都生疏了~拜托了！

作者: 超级猴子 时间: 2011-7-19 11:30:58

In this contemporary era, with the advancement of the society, more and more people realize the importance of teamwork. As the result of that, people would like to achieve success as a team. However, a widespread controversy has been sparked. Someone believes that those who do not accept others' criticism cannot succeed in a team while someone argues versus. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the former with my own idea.（模板感觉太重）
As we all know, to succeed, perfect job should be done; a little mistake and fault may lead to a disaster. Just as the destroy of the Challenger, a mistake of radix point bring the explosion of the spacecraft. Others' criticism directly indicates that you make mistakes or get something wrong, and then you should find it and solve it; or I can safely get the conclusion that success couldn't be achieved.（这个例子挺好的）
Furthermore, (加一句不接受别人批评的人会被别人厌恶而得不到支持，这样才显得连贯，一个those people让人云里雾里的)others will lose heart to those people and won't help them if they are in trouble. No one could deny that the reason why team is composed is that team members can help each other forward. Consequently, one may lose the support from the other members and be isolated and solitary if others are disappointed to him. There is rarely success in evil things like this in human history.
Moreover, the people don't accept others' criticism is usually overweening who is hardly to make a hit. There have been countless examples throughout the history. Had the Hitler not been headstrong and self opinionated, his domination would not have been smashed. Hitler was a military genius but his vanity(我查字典了，overweening就是一个形容词，没有动名词) is the heel of Achilles to success. So, as far as I am concerned, the people don't accept others' criticism is hardly to achieve success.
In a nut shell, those who don't accept others' criticism in a team cannot succeed in the end for the three main reasons, the barrier of mistakes, the lack of others’ support and the disadvantage of personality.
互助互助，共同进步

作者: 永动鸡 时间: 2011-7-28 23:25:36

7.18
Do you agree with the following statement? In a team, those who do not accept others' criticism cannot succeed.

In this contemporary era, with the advancement of the society, more and more people realize the importance of teamwork. As the result of that, people would like to achieve success as a team. However, a widespread controversy has been sparked. Someone believes that those who do not accept others' criticism cannot succeed in a team while someone argues versus. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the former (记得中学老师说 the +形容词表示一类人。语法没问题，但是放在这里语义有点问题；个人认为在former 后面加上view更妥)with my own idea.
As we all know, to succeed, perfect job should be done; a little mistake and fault may lead to a disaster. Just as the destroy of the Challenger, a mistake of radix point bring the explosion of the spacecraft. Others' criticism directly indicates that you make mistakes or get something wrong, and then you should find it and solve it; or I can safely get the conclusion that success couldn't be achieved.
Furthermore, others will lose heart to those people（指哪些人？） and won't help them if they are in trouble. No one could deny that the reason why team is composed is that team members can help each other forward. Consequently, one may lose the support from the other members and be isolated and solitary if others are disappointed to him.（意思能明白，但感觉有点生硬。） There is rarely success in evil things like this in human history.
Moreover, the people don't accept others' criticism is usually overweening who is hardly to make a hit. There have been countless examples throughout the history. Had the Hitler not been headstrong and self opinionated, his domination would not have been smashed. Hitler was a military genius but his overweening is the heel of Achilles to success.（这个例子有点问题：假如希特勒不自负，那他能获得成功？他的成功是什么？侵略成功？
这样说逻辑没问题，但不符合情理，最好举些正面的例子。） So, as far as I am concerned, the people don't accept others' criticism is hardly to achieve success.
In a nut shell, those who don't accept others' criticism in a team cannot succeed in the end for the three main reasons（还是断一下句子吧，写好长句的难度其实很大的，如果硬是接些句子，不仅结构复杂、而且不直观。Those who don’t accept other’s criticism in a team can hardly be successful, which could be explained mianly from three reasons:）, the barrier of mistakes, the process without others’ support and the disadvantage of personality.

抱歉，前一阵子在忙其他事，回复得晚了。
以上评论纯属个人观点。有则改之，无则加勉。

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-10-18 08:14:49

还有一个月就考试了！加油！！

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-10-19 11:26:19

10.19 独立！

作者: 香草鱼 时间: 2011-10-19 23:44:53

10月19日作文修改
[attach]172190[/attach]

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-10-20 21:56:12

10.20 独立~

作者: 薰叶初 时间: 2011-10-20 22:55:44

看了你的作文,稍微改了一下.

作者: xiangtuo 时间: 2011-10-21 16:06:08

10.21 独立！
此11th 非彼11th~

作者: junjunbill 时间: 2011-10-21 22:39:13

:)嗨，我今天刚加入这个队伍，还不太熟悉如何上传附件所以只好粘过来啦！以下是我的修改，如有不妥之处欢迎随时商讨！
College orUniversity should offer more preparation before they start working

Today,with the development of the society, more and more students have the chance toenter in (删)universities.As a result, the competition among graduates was drastically fierce.Then, some people cite（还是用hold好） theopinion that college or university should offer more preparation beforegraduates starts working. So simplistic is their idea that it can bring morebenefit to their students and let them adapt to （adapt 作及物动词是使适应的意思）working successfully; such is my own ideathat the preparation should made by graduates themselves. Not only can they getpreparation tailored for themselves, but also in flexible time.
Admittedly,it is university or college’s duty to educate their students more suitable tothe society. However, it is an enormous and massive program. Seldom could theydo perfect on every aspect of the program for every major of the university.Only under certain circumstances when the major was so special and peculiar wouldthe university choose to offer more preparation uniformly could be sensible（这里是不是多余了？）
Furthermore,only when
the graduates prepare for themselvescan they realize more about their future. For instance, my brother, who hasbecome a chief manager, had puzzled when he was going to work. Other classmatesaccepted arrangement of the college to prepare being a computer engineer whilemy brother made up his mind to do management. The reason is simply（simple）, during the process of preparation, he understood thatmanagement would have a bright future and he didn’t suit for being as（删掉） a computer engineer（因为时间上有个先后关系，做工程师在搞管理之前，所以前后两句调换一下较好，he understood that he didn’t suit for being a computer engineer andmanagement career would have a bright future）. He was exactlyright. Have（has） he not determinedto do management, he would not have achieved success.
Moreover, students wouldhave more flexible time if they do the preparation themselves. I am a seniorstudent and I prefer to prepare for my future at home; only in this way could Iget more useful information for me. I enjoy the comfortable surroundings withfamily and convenient transportation; many graduates cites with me（应该是agree with吧）. It would disturb students’ own plan ifcollege’s going to hold meetings to offer more(没有比较，用many较好)
preparation.I could safely draw a conclusion that most senior students would not like toprepare for their future together with all the students.
Ina word, colleges and universities don’t need to offer more preparation for seniorstudents. It is better for both universities and graduates.

总体结构没有什么毛病，但是觉得开头有点长了，且短句较多。可以用从句连成一句，如more and more students have the chance to enter universities and thecompetition among graduates was drastically fierce，which leads to the opinion that college or university should offermore preparation before graduates starts working. 再如such is my own idea that making preparation by graduates would notonly get tailored for themselves, but also have more flexible time.
是否可以缩减点开头扩充一下论据？如第二个论点可以引用乔布斯入读俄亥俄州里德学院六个月后退学的例子。

作者: byebyehaku 时间: 2011-10-22 16:00:44

我来晚了作文改好了就给你传上来

这是我的帖子欢迎给我改
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1292096-13-1.html

作者: byebyehaku 时间: 2011-10-22 20:22:11

改好了

欢迎光临寄托家园留学论坛 (https://bbs.gter.net/)