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标题: 1000被拒，移民倾向，贴上学习计划，请大家帮我分析分析 [打印本页]

作者: sallyspa 时间: 2011-6-10 14:17:52 标题: 1000被拒，移民倾向，贴上学习计划，请大家帮我分析分析

本帖最后由 sallyspa 于 2011-6-10 14:18 编辑

StudyPlan

My name is XXX. Iplan to study the MBA program of University of Saskatchewan. Beloware my study plan in Canada and my career plan in China.

1.
My education and professional backgrounds
In2006, I obtained a diploma in Computer Technology from East China NormalUniversity, worked as a data operator at the current American-invested companythat mainly engages in the development and sales of software products and startedto study at Shanghai International Studies University majoring in English. I waspromoted to the project manager in 2010. I develop project plans, calculateproject cost/time, cultivate and strengthen co-worker and client relationships,and manage a team of analysts and data operators to accomplish various projects.In 2010, I obtained my Bachelor of Arts degree in English from ShanghaiInternational Studies University. The English proficiency credentials increasemy strength and the competitiveness in the company.

2.
Why I choose this country, school and the program?

MBAoriginates from North America. Canada is rich in educational resources and outstandingin educational quality. It is a more cozy and harmonious environment than othercountries for intensive studying. These are quite essential for me to study ina peaceful and trustful environment.
The University of Saskatchewan is a public institution inCanada. The MBA degree that it offers is recognized internationally. Furthermore, the career-based and multi-disciplinarycourses provide students a comprehensive understanding of business fields groundedin practice. The highly international faculty team includes award winningteachers who have practical experiences from global companies. The diversified instructionmethods such as case studies have direct linkages to real organizationalpractice. These opportunities and academic resources are exactly what I need torealize my career goal as a senior manager in China.
The MBA International program of Universityof Saskatchewan requires tuition fees as affordable as $29,000 for internationalstudents. Besides, the program can be completed within 2 years and even oneyear depending on a student’s study pace. Thus, the MBA International programof University of Saskatchewan is undoubtedly a right choice for me.

3.
My overall educational objective
My educational objectiveis to construct and possess a systematic and practical knowledge system ofbusiness fields such as international business, finance, accounting, marketing andmanagement information system. I will take 3 courses per semester and completethe program in two years. Besides studying advanced management knowledge andskills, I will grasp the wonderful opportunity to cultivate a global thinkingway. I will combine my previous professional experience with the advancedknowledge and skills to generate my own management discipline and skills. Thus,I will be prepared to realize my career goal in China. Below is my study planfrom this fall to 2013.

Sep, 2011	Sep-Dec 2011	Jan-Apr 2012	May-Jun 2012	July-Aug 2012	Sep-Dec 2012	Jan-Apr 2013
MBA 830 Social Issues in Business	MBA 817 Global Organizational Behaviour	MBA 835 International Business	MBA 841 International Marketing	MBA 848 AA-ZZ Travel Study Tour	MBA 810 Statistics & Quantitative Methods for Business	MBA 815 Business Policy and Strategy
	MBA 866 Managing Information Systems	MBA 840 Strategic Marketing	MBA 891 International Financial Management	MBA 865 Project Management	MBA 816 Production and Operations Management	MBA 833 Financial Management
		MBA 843 Strategic Human Resource Management			MBA 832 Accounting for Managers

4.
Why I am not pursuing less expensive alternatives in China
The MBA education inChina is as young as 10 years, while it has been over 100 years in NorthAmerica. The MBA education in China tends to apply a lecturing teaching style,while the MBA education in North America applies various methods such as interactivediscussion, student analysis and real case studies, etc. The MBA program isconducted by leading industry experts worldwide and is taken by students with differentcultural backgrounds. Obviously, the more diversified in background thestudents have, the more they learn from their differences.

5.
The ties I have in China that will lead me to return to China following mycompletion of studies
The family bonding always matters most. My parents arearound 55 years old now. As the single child of the family, I have the firmwish and responsibility to accompany and take care of them after my graduation.My root is in China. Here I have already developed long standing client andcoworkers relationships. These are my strong supporters and valuable human resourcesin China. What’s more, I harvested plenty of friendship which can providefavorable and familiar circumstances for my career and life. These preciousresources are the bases for me to accomplish my career objective to be a seniormanager in China.

6.
The importance of this Canadian degree that will increase my chances in theChinese labor market
The industry and economy in China are developing at ahigh speed. Observing the industrial and technical labor intensive marketsituation, I realize there is a tendency that senior managers who haveexcellent management skills will be in high demand in China.
Although China has a lot of
senior managers, it still lacks excellent seniormanagers with international background who embrace global thinking ways andunderstand current business practices. According to a survey from DHDConsulting, China has a strong demand of MBA students with internationalbackground, as many as 75,000 people in the next 10 years. The competitivenessof entering recognized business schools in North America makes the supply ofthe MBA students far less than the demand of those students. Therefore, the MBAdegree will definitely increase my competitive strength in China.

7.
Futurecareer plan when return
AfterI graduate from the University of Saskatchewan , since I am familiar with the ITindustry and the city of Shanghai, I will seek jobs in the top IT or electronicproducts companies such as Intel and Philips in the Pudong financial districtin Shanghai. I will take full advantage of my human relationships resources inShanghai to develop my career plan to be a senior manager by obtaining latestand most advanced technical knowledge and experience as well as making friendswith the elites in the industry.

作者: easonchanchh 时间: 2011-6-10 15:13:53

不清楚啊 PAT一下
除了My overall educational objective那段我不太看明白lz想说什么之外其他都觉得还好..
BLESS LZ 2000过

作者: poiulkjhmnbv 时间: 2011-6-10 15:28:54

刚递签的人看到这种帖子桑不起啊...内心忐忑了

bless lz 2000顺利通过！

作者: 太傻的聪明人 时间: 2011-6-10 16:23:13

恶心,写这么多.签证官觉得你这样说这么清楚会不会直接就认为你目的不大纯啊,你这个是MBA不是其他专业的master会比较吃亏.去看下档案看看他们VO怎么说吧,我之前也去查了你看下我的那个帖子上面的拒签具体原因你参考下吧

作者: mikeandmore 时间: 2011-6-10 16:44:06

看了一下，我觉得应该是其他什么东西让对方觉得lz有倾向吧。。。

同送了13个工作日的表示紧张……

作者: cici_57 时间: 2011-6-10 16:46:56

我已经15个工作日了哭...

作者: brychole 时间: 2011-6-10 17:43:11

分了好多个点啊。官方的不是只列出三个点么？

“The ties I have in China that will lead me to return to China following my completion of studies”

我觉得这句有点刻意... 我觉得按照使馆要求分三点写好了... BLESS!

作者: easonchanchh 时间: 2011-6-10 18:29:17

7# brychole

是三点吗？怎么我看的提纲是和lz一样的....

作者: brychole 时间: 2011-6-10 18:32:41

7# brychole

是三点吗？怎么我看的提纲是和lz一样的....
easonchanchh 发表于 2011-6-10 18:29

啊？？？你们在哪里看的啊？我只看过下面的：

You must attach a study plan to the application, written by you. It will normally be 1 page in length. It should address the following issues:
• Why you wish to come to Canada to study at the school and in the program for which you have been accepted;
• Your overall educational goal;
• and How this Canadian diploma/degree will increase your employment chances.

作者: easonchanchh 时间: 2011-6-10 18:35:32

Plan of Studies
It will normally be 1-2 pages in length
It should address the following issues
 Why you wish to come to Canada to study at the school and in the program for which you have been accepted
 What is your overall educational goal
 Why you are not pursuing less expensive alternatives in China (what are those alternatives? have you investigated them?)
 What ties do you have to China that will lead you to return to China following your course of studies?
 How will this Canadian diploma/degree increase your chances in the Chinese labor market?

这个是中介给的但是我记得我去翻过也是这个，，很多之前的童鞋们都是这个写的吧...难道是更新了
现在只要一页那我不是写太多了

作者: brychole 时间: 2011-6-10 18:47:15

10# easonchanchh
应该是更新了吧。

作者: bombuebue 时间: 2011-6-10 20:45:38

LZ的资金有问题么？

作者: alicecarol 时间: 2011-6-10 21:34:18

我发表一下我的观点：

第五条，tie太弱了，写的比较模糊，这个理由谁都有啊

————纯属个人观点，仅供参考

作者: sallyspa 时间: 2011-6-10 21:51:11

LZ的资金有问题么？
bombuebue 发表于 2011-6-10 20:45

资金没有被勾出来，存款历史，数额都足够，也解释得清楚。主要还是学习计划的问题吧。

作者: bombuebue 时间: 2011-6-10 21:51:14

楼主还提到了国内的不好，虽然就那么一句。。。但是感觉还是不要提这个比较好吧。。。

作者: CaAm 时间: 2011-6-10 21:56:17

我觉得LZ为什么辞掉manager而选择去深造这一点的理由写的有些薄弱了，也就是第6点还是有些不够有力。LZ可不可以尝试写一些在工作中遇到的实例，比如海龟有高薪什么的，这样可能更可信。。如果单从获得更多职业机会这一点来说，LZ已经在国内有不错的工作了，实际上不需要更多工作机会了。。所以如果从职业待遇入手，结合LZ的亲身实例，可以更可信吧。。

一点建议，往LZ斟酌！

作者: easonchanchh 时间: 2011-6-10 23:36:00

感觉就是lz已经工作多年为何选择放弃这个美好的工作花这么大一笔钱去一个加拿大萨省这个不太发达商学院也不太有名的地方学习MBA....

这个目的没有解析清楚啊....

作者: dhk12 时间: 2011-6-11 21:38:51

个人觉得Objective并不是把MBA的课程内容列举出来，而是illustrate你的MBA study和你的职业发展的关系，是你的职业规划。另外不需要分太多项，因为本来是可以合并的。另外why MBA你可以写写是什么原因trigger你决定继续学习去take MBA。至于Tie，可以把你未来在中国的职业规划涵盖，然后提提父母support你读书，你也要回报父母，而你的前途和你的照顾将会是回报的方式。USas有很多优势，你可以写出来，而不选择在中国读，你应该强调在CAN的优势而不好去说CHN的劣势，postive一些会更好。个人观点，希望能帮到你。

作者: bombuebue 时间: 2011-6-11 22:04:37

我也觉得没有必要把课程列出来。。。

作者: zhoujiayi 时间: 2011-6-13 11:21:59

我也分这5点写的，基本上每项的观点也和楼主一样，我比楼主废话更多，5号字体我写了3张A4...所以我觉得长度不是问题。
楼主经历和我也一样哎，06年毕业今年准备出去，可能是MBA课程的关系吧，我是计算机硕士。
能给的建议就是楼主可以再强调下父母亲情啦凸显自己会回来，外国人比较吃家庭这一套嘛。
另外我的材料里，资金说明文档里是以我妈的口吻写的，除了说明资金来源，在最后2段还写了我妈感情上不舍得我去国外留学，但是尊重我的选择，希望我早日学成归来举家团圆等云云~
个人认为凡是材料中能凸显你会回国的地方就都不免俗的打下感情牌吧~

作者: CaAm 时间: 2011-6-13 11:24:28

我也分这5点写的，基本上每项的观点也和楼主一样，我比楼主废话更多，5号字体我写了3张A4...所以我觉得长度不是问题。
楼主经历和我也一样哎，06年毕业今年准备出去，可能是MBA课程的关系吧，我是计算机硕士。
能给 ...
zhoujiayi 发表于 2011-6-13 11:21

你拿到visa了？

作者: hhrhpy 时间: 2011-6-13 11:25:41

你拿到visa了？
CaAm 发表于 2011-6-13 11:24

同问~

作者: zhoujiayi 时间: 2011-6-13 11:28:15

对，我是4月26递签，5月28日拿到签证的。

作者: CaAm 时间: 2011-6-13 11:30:57

对，我是4月26递签，5月28日拿到签证的。
zhoujiayi 发表于 2011-6-13 11:28

Huge cong啊。。。沾喜气了~

作者: cici_57 时间: 2011-6-13 13:01:53

对，我是4月26递签，5月28日拿到签证的。
zhoujiayi 发表于 2011-6-13 11:28

你粗线了...

BIG CONG!

作者: zhoujiayi 时间: 2011-6-13 13:46:20

25# cici_57 =。=这是在期待我出现嘛...

作者: cici_57 时间: 2011-6-13 13:54:02

25# cici_57 =。=这是在期待我出现嘛...
zhoujiayi 发表于 2011-6-13 13:46

想到你那作废的酒店和机票...

作者: alicecarol 时间: 2011-6-13 14:01:24

我也分这5点写的，基本上每项的观点也和楼主一样，我比楼主废话更多，5号字体我写了3张A4...所以我觉得长度不是问题。
楼主经历和我也一样哎，06年毕业今年准备出去，可能是MBA课程的关系吧，我是计算机硕士。
能给 ...
zhoujiayi 发表于 2011-6-13 11:21

楼主的女僧吧？

传说中的性别歧视么？？？

作者: bombuebue 时间: 2011-6-13 14:58:23

天啊，3页~太给力了~

如果这次被拒我也写长点

作者: sallyspa 时间: 2011-6-13 15:56:37

对的我是女生。

好感谢大家的建议，正调档准备7月底二签，加油！

作者: zhoujiayi 时间: 2011-6-13 16:34:41

27# cici_57
告诉你个好消息，酒店机票没有作废，这就是我消失1周多的原因，28号下午他把签证快递到我手，我拎着包就出门赶飞机了，然后赶上了~

作者: alicecarol 时间: 2011-6-13 16:34:44

乃看乃看
赤果果的性别歧视！！！！！鄙视大使馆！！！！
LZ乃的tie加个未婚夫吧
祝好运啦！！

作者: zhoujiayi 时间: 2011-6-13 16:35:44

29# bombuebue 其实你网上可以搜到模板的，我就是搜到了那个模板，然后照着写的。那模板我记得就有2页长。

作者: zhoujiayi 时间: 2011-6-13 16:36:48

32# alicecarol 哈哈，这个方法我本来想用的哎，说我在中国有个未婚妻，所以肯定会回来

作者: cici_57 时间: 2011-6-13 16:47:04

27# cici_57
告诉你个好消息，酒店机票没有作废，这就是我消失1周多的原因，28号下午他把签证快递到我手，我拎着包就出门赶飞机了，然后赶上了~
zhoujiayi 发表于 2011-6-13 16:34

厉害!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 再CONG一个！！！！！！！！！！！！！

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