( ⊙ o ⊙ )啊!。。有个小bug
【轩爷综合new】那个才是喔。。不好意思~作者: wilsonchen2011 时间: 2011-7-26 20:52:49
本帖最后由 wilsonchen2011 于 2011-7-26 20:54 编辑
Thanks a million,无论是各位同组的还是是不同组的同学,你们的细致批改和中肯意见都让我感动!
做个回应:确实如羊小咩89所说,综合作文第三个分论点确实和原文脱节太大。最主要是没听好那个collecting operation。
我改羊小咩89的时候都抓出了那个论点的意思,可偏偏自己写的时候没写准确。
如果改成下面这样子大家看看会不会更好:
The professor finally mentions that in spite of collectors' potential damage to the ancient remnants listed in the passage, the collecting operation mainly run by the collectors actually leads more fossils to be found. It is much better to at least discover more fossils even if we cannot get all the data about the location and surroundings of the existing fossils.作者: 羊小咩89 时间: 2011-7-26 22:17:28
Education is virtually an eternal topic for intense debate because it is an important source of elite for a country. However, whether the government should spend more money on college education or on elementary education is seldom an issue. It is nearly a consensus that a large percentage of the government budget has to go the universities due to the following reasons.1 `9 v* E) d+ M; w, `: l
开头非常简洁,用语也漂亮,学习了。
Most importantly, basic education costs less than the high education. The school children are too young to read a lot of books, do technical tests, or join high-class activities, but the college students, with superiority in age and maturity both mentally and physically, (这里几个and和both 的连接,有点让我看不出平衡点,这样表达会产生歧义么)do actually need to digest different kinds of professional materials, use advanced laboratory devices to perform certain experiments, or require music rooms for the rehearsal of concert. So in terms of books, necessary study tools and other special platforms, universities call for more funding to cultivate greatness in the students than do the primary schools.
Second, it is more worthwhile to invest in the talented adults from college because they are more ready to serve the country. The government is always in dire need of human resources for the development of technology, politics, economy and many other aspects. Nonetheless, it takes a fairly long time to raise little Albert finally into great Einstein. But fortunately university students are already grown-ups, so it takes considerably(considerable) less time to educate them into eligible personnel for the government than to primary school students. Needless to say, the undergraduates or the graduates are going to join the practical construction of the country much more quickly.
In addition, most college students today are sooner parents of the next generation compared to the school children. Common sense tells us that clever parents are going to have smarter offspring. With regard to the educated future couples, they may greatly influence their children by providing favorable genes for their sons and daughters so that the future children can probably do math almost naturally, and by establishing secure and healthy environment for the (删除)young generation, so that(删除),(by…so that,这个句子不对) the family can do sports together or go out for a picnic, living a life filled with happiness. The larger amount of budget the government is going to spend on the high education, the more perfectly the vision is going to turn into reality.
(这个论点有点不direct,要知道,大学生可不是凭空而来哦,也是从小学生教育起步的,也就是说,要提高人的素质最起码应该从初级教育开始。跟父母的素质来说的话,这个是不是牵强了点?)
' a' D% G/ J2 i. A( Z7 X
To sum up, for successful future development of the country, it is on the talented people in the universities rather than on the elementary education that the government should put emphasis. This notion has been universally acknowledged because of the higher expenditure, better talent training and more profound influence of the college system.
Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific points made in the reading passage. (TPO 17)
The reading passage claims that birds in the United States tends[tend] to become fewer and fewer due to the influence of increasing human activities, but the professor contends that the support of this argument is not convincing.
Primarily, although urban expansions may be bad for some bird species, according to the reading passage, the professor argues that human settlements actually create better and larger habitats for other kinds of birds. Some of the city dwellers even complain about an increasing number of birds referring to seagulls and pigeons as well as hawks and falcons which feed on the pigeons frequently appearing on the street[streets]. In fact, bird populations tend not to change in a[an] uniform way, some shrinking and some growing, as the professor points out.
Second, there is actually less and less wilderness areas being turned into lands of agricultural use, contrary to what is stated in the reading passage. The professor mentions that the increase production of agriculture is under way thanks to the introduction of a variety of crops, which may greatly enhance the produce per unit of land. Then there is no need to destroy more natural areas, not to mention to ruin the habitats of birds. Thus, bird populations in rural areas may not decline.
The professor finally argues that the traditional chemical pesticides in the reading passage are not likely to be put into use any longer. After a majority of people have known the potential detriment of the traditional pesticides, new and less toxic pesticides as well as genetically pest-resistant crops which are unattractive to pests are soon developed. These new technologies will not do harm[前面的新技术已经出现,后面就体现到了,是不是用do not harm 好点?] to the crops, nor to the birds, so the number of birds may not be affected.
In summary, the professor challenges the reading passage in terms of cities, agriculture and technology, holding that the decline of bird population is not likely to continue .
[如果改得不会请见谅哦,记得告诉我,谢谢]作者: Luna6408 时间: 2011-7-30 13:58:42
It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or to a new country because of the losing of old friends. (20091031NA)
Moving to another city or country often seems exciting to people who always pursue a better life, referring to the different environment, new neighborhood, more convenient transportation, or more opportunities for success. However, those people who place a lot of emphasis on the advantage of living in a new place may be blind to the great loss of such movement, especially the losing of old friends.
To begin with, the considerble distance between the new city and the old one is very likely to undermine the possibility for friends to keep in touch. Dissenters may argue that with the help of Internet and other services, one moving to a new place is still able to continue the friendship by sending emails, postcards or presents. Nonetheless, the friendship built on written messages or symbolic objects is comparatively fragile due to the lack of face-to-face communication. Because of the geological distance, it may take several hours to return to the old place by car, by train or by air, so the sheer inconvenience is a big matter when scheduling to visit the old friends for once, let alone seeing them in person more frequently.
Second, getting to know new friends also poses a threat to maintaining the old friendship. New residents in a city or country have to join in another social network in order to adapt to a different job or a different living place, inevitably forgetting the old social relations. For instance, a teenager who goes to college abroad is going to be involved in a foreign adult society, where people talk as adults, dress as adults, and think as adults. His or her memory of the teenage friendship in the home country, on the other hand, is probably going to dim, because he or she may no longer behave casually and naively like a teenager.[friendship可能模糊,但是不是因为自己不能行为举止不能像teenager那样,而是应该周围没有类似的朋友,是自己忘却了] Also, it is possible that the young person adds the phone numbers of new friends into the cell phone but, owing to the limited storage, has to delete those of the old friends and to put an end to the old friendship.
Finally, in a world changing so quickly nowadays, the distinction between old friends who do not live in the same city or country may get more obvious, endangering the friendship. As an illustration, assume two teenage friends having both been interested in playing basketball were then separated to two different cities. One of them continued such hobby but the other, probably because of more schoolwork, stopped going to the basketball court. When common hobbies not longer existed, it may really be hard for them to remember the days spent together and to revitalize the friendship.
In summary, before moving to a new city or country, people have to take the loss of old friends into deliberation, questioning themselves whether they are ready for a different life and whether they can afford the significant change.
[写得很好,如果我改得不会,记得告诉我]作者: 师走99 时间: 2011-7-31 13:31:15