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标题: 【Daily Writing 作文特训小组】little_caty习作贴，欢迎大家多多指教~ [打印本页]
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-2 22:27:00 标题: 【Daily Writing 作文特训小组】little_caty习作贴，欢迎大家多多指教~
8月2日
Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than help determine children's future.4 F4 {# \
Recently, there is a topic discussed by many people about whether parents should control children what they will do in the future or allow them to determine by themselves. Some people assert that parents have the ability and responsibility to help decide children’s future for the reason that they have more social experience and they can get to know their children well. While, as to me, parents should give children more space to decide their future because of following several reasons.
First of all, children can become more confident and interested in things which are chosen by themselves. The measure of encouraging children to do what they have interest in can stimulate their confidence and interest. As we know, interest is the best teacher, which can lead to success someday with amount of effort. In other words, interest is the key heading success. For instance, almost everyone in the society has heard of or is taking advantage of Microsoft, a company providing convenient and useful software for almost 90% costumers all over the world, whose CEO, Bill Gates, is the riches person in the world. But unexpected, Bill Gates would have to be a lawyer as his parents expected when he was a child, and if so, a talented scientist would disappear and people have to enjoy the service after a couple of years. And there are also many successful people like Bill Gates choosing their own way against their parents, but later they all gain sweet fruit from different aspects.
Secondly, children have the tendency to behavior oppositely to their parents especially when they face pressure. Easily to be understood, this phenomenon comes from a sense of resistance and self-cognition of children, which shows strong desire to become independent by breaking parents’ tight yoke. In this way, children may disagree with every advise brought out by parents no matter whether the advise is advanced or not, unfortunately leading to large numbers of extra mistakes. To solve this problem, parents should give children the right to choose what they really want to make them feel respect and confident, so that, the number of mistakes can be reduced.
In sums, parents should protect and encourage children’s interest and make them feel respected in order to make more concentrate on what they want to achieve and make more efforts. If children have enough space to show their talent, they will cherish each chance to make progress and become a valuable person to the society.
作者: happinessvivi 时间: 2011-8-3 15:05:44
[attach]168924[/attach]
搞定！
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-3 16:52:19
2# happinessvivi
happy,我写了开头段啊，是不是没看到啊~~
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-3 17:57:17
希望大家能多提些意见~在此感谢了~
作者: 草莓刨冰 时间: 2011-8-3 23:24:46
Recently, there is a topic discussed by many people about whether parents should control children what they will do in the future or allow them to determine by themselves. Some people assert that parents have the ability and responsibility to help decide children’s future for the reason that they have more social experience and they can get to know their children well. While, as to me, parents should give children more space to decide their future because of following several reasons.
m
First of all, children can become more confident and interested in things which are chosen by themselves. The measure of encouraging children to do what they have interest in (are interested in更好吧，或者把in放在前面) can stimulate their confidence and interest. As we know, interest is the best teacher, which can lead to success someday with amount of effort. In other words, interest is the key heading success(啥意思？). For instance, almost everyone in the society has heard of or is taking advantage of Microsoft, a company providing convenient and useful software for almost 90% costumers all over the world, whose CEO, Bill Gates, is the riches (richest) person in the world. (这句话的从句套太多了，前面还在修饰Microsoft,后面就修饰Bill Gates了.建议把这个句子拆一下。)But unexpected, Bill Gates would have to be a lawyer as his parents expected when he was a child, and if so, a talented scientist would disappear and people have to enjoy the service after a couple of years. And there are also many successful people like Bill Gates choosing their own way against their parents, but later they all gain sweet fruit from different aspects.
d0 @& B0 u: h
Secondly, children have the tendency to behavior oppositely to their parents especially when they face pressure. Easily to be understood, this phenomenon comes from a sense of resistance and self-cognition of children, which shows strong desire to become independent by breaking parents’ tight yoke. In this way, children may disagree with every advise brought out by parents no matter whether the advise is advanced or not, unfortunately leading to large numbers of extra mistakes. To solve this problem, parents should give children the right to choose what they really want to make them feel respect and confident, so that, the number of mistakes can be reduced.% n- s" o& (感觉最后两句语法有点问题，但是不知道哪儿有问题)
In sums, parents should protect and encourage children’s interest and make them feel respected in order to make more concentrate on what they want to achieve and make more efforts. If children have enough space to show their talent, they will cherish each chance to make progress and become a valuable person to the society.
作者: 冰雪蜂鸟 时间: 2011-8-3 23:39:38
本帖最后由 冰雪蜂鸟 于 2011-8-3 23:40 编辑
不好意思，修改晚了。
我的在91楼
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1279272-10-1.html
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-4 00:02:00
8月3日独立作文
In order to become financially responsible adults, children should manage their own money at a young age.
Financial responsibility is a considerable critical ability for a person during his whole lifetime. For this reason, people argue that whether parents should allow children manage their money all alone. From my perspective, parents have better limit children’s expenditure other than give them right to purchase all by themselves.
At first, children have little sense of rationality and self-control in face of tempt. As children have just stepped into the society for just a few years, they don’t have enough time to get to know how to behavior appropriately. So, people can usually catch a scene that a child strongly demand more sugar regardless his bad teeth, or cry loudly to buy new toys no matter how many similar ones he has owned. These are common phenomena appearing in our daily life which warn us not to allow children manage their own money. What’s worse, if a person developed a habit of sumptuousness in childhood, he can hardly get over the extravagant financial mode in latter life, and this pattern will lead to a bad financial situation when he earn money himself.
Additionally, the condition that children get what they desire too easily can result in bad effects.
For example, many people born in a rich family spend their whole time in playing, smoking or even drugs rather than working to seek happiness and excitement, while opposite, they can only feel more boring and upset but not happiness. And, these problems mostly attribute to their parents’ connivance about money when they are children. So seldom valuable things have they done that they cannot gain true happiness and satisfaction for work with great efforts. In this vicious cycle, their corporeal and spiritual energy is to decline day after day.
All in all, financial issues are quite essential problems that parents should develop children’s expensing habits at early time. In this way, children will learn more about self-control and make a solid base of their rationally financial investment and purchasing, and thus, they can own a stable and harmonious life
欢迎大家多提意见啊，谢谢了~
作者: Fruit~ 时间: 2011-8-4 05:35:58
本帖最后由 Fruit~ 于 2011-8-4 05:37 编辑
CEO, BILL GATES这句话在WHOSE前就可以断开了. 用很长的句子的两大坏处: 1. 容易让人分神; 2. 不是不鼓礼用长句. 老中(排除那些多年只看英文JOURNAL, 用英文写PAPER的老中), 长句一用多必犯语法错.
作者: Fruit~ 时间: 2011-8-4 05:36:40
第2段的第2句感觉在重复第1句话
作者: Fruit~ 时间: 2011-8-4 05:39:46
Unexpectedly, Bill Gates would have been a lawyer if he followed the path designed by his parents in his youth.
I would suggest the above expression.
作者: Fruit~ 时间: 2011-8-4 05:42:30
有些语法错, 和单复数的问题.
最后还是建医不要老用长句.
作者: lisq9989 时间: 2011-8-4 09:42:08
改好了，有不同意见Q我，单独交流也可以
[attach]168965[/attach]
作者: julijone 时间: 2011-8-4 20:24:56
写得不错 加油
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-4 20:29:47
本帖最后由 little_caty 于 2011-8-4 20:40 编辑
10# Fruit~ 感谢fruit的中肯意见，我在英语写作方面确实有挺多欠缺，得到大家的指点后受益良多，会继续努力的~
作者: 愤怒公爵 时间: 2011-8-4 21:16:01
改好了，楼主要多练习一些~
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-5 00:38:05
本帖最后由 little_caty 于 2011-8-5 01:11 编辑
8月4日 All school teachers should be required to take courses every five years to update their knowledge.
People regard education as one of the most critical areas in the society, generating many discussions about education. Among these discussions, a topic about whether all school teachers should be required to have lessons every five years to update their knowledge has been discussed. In my opinion, it is essential to require teachers to update their knowledge frequently to keep pace with society. My perspective will be depicted in following several paragraphs.
In the vibrant and challenging society, rapid elimination forces teachers to update their knowledge and teaching methods. Brought out by people in different realms, thousands of new techniques and ideas make great influence on the improvement of society. These useful techniques can take the place of previous ones at any time. If students major in Computer Science still learn Fortran Language at school, but actually this compiling language has already be instead of C Language, they cannot use what they learn at school and later have to spare time to learn C after they start working. This kind of problem does not only waste educational resources, but also spoil students’ best time to learn. To avoid these problems, teachers have responsibility to instruct students with knowledge adapt to the modern society.
Additionally, frequently updating knowledge can help improving capacity and reducing mistakes. Updating knowledge, teachers can understand knowledge more deeply and completely, which is good for teaching as well. Interesting and practical application connecting abstract knowledge with common life make students feel familiar and interested, which can help them understand better. On the other hand, a new theory may point out mistakes in textbooks. By learning it in time, teachers can cease wrong theories from spreading. Undoubtedly, these two factors both have significant effect on teaching.
In opposite, keeping teaching method consistent has bad impact and dangerous to some extent. Improper insist of an outdated theory may conduct the students to a wrong direction. As a famous saying said,” Right direction is more important than working hard”. A long lasting period of research in wrong direction can bring nothing but failure and a waste of time, causing unnecessary loss.
All in all, the importance of teaching demands teachers to be highly responsible and update knowledge frequently, every five years for instance. In this way, they can cultivate more talented students, who will make great contribution to the progress of society.
作者: Fruit~ 时间: 2011-8-5 03:08:07
People regard education as one of the most critical areas in the society, generating many discussions about education (cannot understand this usage. I suggest using "....., which generates......"). Among these discussions, a topic about whether all school teachers should be required to have lessons every five years to update their knowledge has been discussed. In my opinion, it is essential to require teachers to update their knowledge frequently to keep pace with society (cannot understand this sentence). My perspective will be depicted in following several paragraphs.
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In the (a)vibrant and challenging society, rapid elimination forces teachers to update their knowledge and teaching methods. Brought out by people in different realms, thousands of new techniques and ideas make great influence on the improvement of society. These useful techniques can take the place of (eliminate)previous ones at any time. If students major in Computer Science still learn Fortran Language at school, but actually this compiling language has already be instead of C Language, they cannot use what they learn at school and later have to spare time to learn C after they start working (way tooooo long). This kind of problem does not only waste educational resources, but also spoil students’ best time to learn. To avoid these problems, teachers have responsibility to instruct students with knowledge adapt to the modern society (grammatical mistakes).
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Additionally, frequently updating knowledge can help improving (improve) capacity and reducing (reduce) mistakes. (Through) Updating knowledge, teachers can understand knowledge more deeply and completely, which is good for teaching as well. Interesting and practical application connecting abstract knowledge with common life make students feel familiar and interested, which can help them understand better (Students can also benefit from teachers' practical application of abstract theories make your sentence more concise). On the other hand (where is "on the one hand"? "on the other hand" always appear after "on the one hand"), a new theory may point out mistakes in textbooks (grammatical mistake). By learning it (what does "it" refer to here?)in time, teachers can cease wrong theories from spreading. Undoubtedly, these two factors both have significant effect on teaching.
9 ?% S! Q! @$ V6 A6 g9 P% S; S2 [6 O2 B
In opposite, keeping teaching method consistent has bad impact and dangerous to some extent. Improper insist of an outdated theory may conduct the students to a wrong direction. As a famous saying said,” Right direction is more important than working hard”. A long lasting period of research in wrong direction can bring nothing but failure and a waste of time, causing unnecessary loss., }- M. F6 q* X" Q
/ n. o5 }0 {# q# OAll in all, the importance of teaching demands teachers to be highly responsible and update knowledge frequently, every five years for instance. In this way, they can cultivate more talented students, who will make great contribution to the progress of society.
作者: Fruit~ 时间: 2011-8-5 03:08:56
Just browsed the first three paragraphs...
作者: lisq9989 时间: 2011-8-5 20:38:51
[attach]169053[/attach]
改好了，呵呵，昨天好像就和你一组吧~
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-5 23:55:37
18# Fruit~ 感谢fruit的耐心指教~我会继续努力的~
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-5 23:57:14
今天没有时间写作文了，只是批了两篇，明天再来~
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-6 09:35:31
15# 愤怒公爵
这篇不是我写的啊~
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-8 23:32:34
8月8日20100312NA Agree or disagree? If children want to do well in school, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies
Should parents limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies in order to let children do well in school?
Some people assert that parents shouldn’t limit children, since TV programs or movies can help children broaden sight. But others, including me, hold the opinion that parents should limit the hours of watching TV or movies for following several reasons.
First of all, watching TV programs or movies too much may cause reducing of time to study. So young are the children, they cannot do well in self-control and concentrating. For example, they may watch interesting movies for a long time without finishing their assignments, they may keep watching TV series every night and think of the plot or characters in class. Since they cannot behavior rationally and responsibly, they can be easily addicted into interesting programs and forget studying. In this case, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies to guarantee enough time for children to study, by which can make children do well in school.
Additionally, too much time of watching TV programs or movies can make children think in a negative way, which has bad effect on studying. When children watch TV, they just receive information rather than seek positively. Watching too much interesting but not useful programs not only waste time, but also steal children’s passion of discovering. In a research in America, scientists came up with an opinion that people who like watching TV is more negative than those who don’t, mainly in thinking methods and behaviors. A negative thinking method can make children lose interest in learning new knowledge and dealing with challenges, which is obstacle for doing well in school.
Thirdly, watching too many TV programs or movies may confound children about reality and imagination, as many programs are fabricated. Since children are too young to distinguish truth and false, they may believe what they learn from TV or movies and even imitate some exciting but dangerous behaviors. For instance, several years ago, a girl was too addicted in a TV series and simulated the actress to hang herself, because in her view, she would be saved by others in time like the actress, but unfortunately, her parents were both outside and could not save her. This tragedy is the result of misleading plots of the TV series and child’s credulity. To avoid tragedies like this, parents should cut the time of children to watch TV or movies, and lead them to get knowledge from real life.
All in all, children are too young to control themselves and distinguish bad and good programs, so parents should supervise their children and limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies. In this way, children will live and study in a more healthy and beneficial environment.
作者: smenxiao 时间: 2011-8-9 17:47:06
8.8的已改好
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-10 22:28:10
8月10日20100320NA 有些人觉得他们可以靠自己或者家人的帮助，解决important problems.因此，人们不需要政府的帮助。
Some people assert that they can rely on themselves or their family to solve important problems without help of government. While, in my opinion, people cannot solve all problems by themselves, and they still need help from government in some cases. I will depict my perspective in following several aspects.
First of all, almost everyone in the society gets the help from government in his life, directly or indirectly. Some people may think that they never receive help from government, but it is because they don’t notice it. For instance, when you drive to work, you are on the new broad road built by the government; when you have lunch in school refectory, you can enjoy cheap dishes for the subsidy given by the government; when you are ill in hospital, you can save much medical expenses if you have hospitalization insurance. In this way, people can get help from government any time despite they don’t realize it most of time. Without the help of government, people may find their life tough and inconvenient.
Secondly, governmental policies can help make the society more stable and harmony. As we know, government can view the situation of the whole society and accommodate it properly, which is helpful to the efficiency and fairness. While, if everyone behaviors in the way he likes, there will be seriously social problems, such as corruption and the gap between the rich and poor. For example, if a rich person tends to send his child to the best school in this area, he may bribe the headmaster and despoil the chance of a poor child to receive education. If people encroach on others’ rights in order to enhance living standard of their own life, the selfishness will obstacle the society to develop. Only by rules can the society run healthily and impartially, which tells the importance of government.
All in all, people cannot own an efficient and fair life without help of government. Though not obvious, the help plays a vital role in daily life and make people live in a more stable and healthier society. Thus, people will live better with the efforts not only made by themselves and their family, but also the government.
作者: 冰雪蜂鸟 时间: 2011-8-11 23:39:54
8月10日20100320NA 有些人觉得他们可以靠自己或者家人的帮助，解决important problems.因此，人们不需要政府的帮助。
Some people assert that they can rely on themselves or their family to solve important problems without help of government. While, in my opinion, people cannot solve all problems by themselves, and they still need help from government in some cases. I will depict my perspective in following several aspects.
First of all, almost everyone in the society gets the help from government in his life, directly or indirectly. Some people may think that they never receive help from government, but it is because they don’t notice it. For instance, when you drive to work, you are on the new broad road built by the government; when you have lunch in school refectory, you can enjoy cheap dishes for the subsidy given by the government; when you are ill in hospital, you can save much medical expenses if you have hospitalization insurance.举例的形式很好，但是我认为你的举例是政府为人们提供的基础设施和福利，并不是帮助人们解决问题。所谓问题，并不是提供公路开车，而是公路毁坏了怎么解决。建议先从personal的角度讨论一下。 In this way, people can get help from government any time despite they don’t realize it most of time. Without the help of government, people may find their life tough and inconvenient.
Secondly, governmental policies can help make the society more stable and harmony. As we know that government can view the situation of the whole society and accommodate it properly, which is helpful to the efficiency and fairness. While, if everyone behaviors in the way he likes, there will be seriously social problems, such as corruption and the gap between the rich and poor. For example, if a rich person tends to send his child to the best school in this area, he may bribe the headmaster and despoil the chance of a poor child to receive education. If people encroach on others’ rights in order to enhance living standard of their own life, the selfishness will obstacle the society to develop.在这里可以多用文墨啦解释一下如何government rules make society run healthily and impartially了，一句话就好。你只指出了现象，却没有讲明原因。 Only by rules can the society run healthily and impartially, which tells the importance of government.
All in all, people cannot own(live) an efficient and fair life without help of government. Though not obvious, the help plays a vital role in daily life and make people live in a more stable and healthier society. Thus, people will live better with the efforts not only made by themselves and their family, but also the government.
语言上没有什么大问题，多注意文章整体的构造。
加油！我的作文写好了哦>< https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1279272-11-1.html
作者: 草莓刨冰 时间: 2011-8-12 00:24:07
[attach]169643[/attach]
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-12 19:25:02
8月12 第一篇综合 TPO7
The speaker holds a lecture to explain why wood companies should support ecocertification, which is against the opinion in the reading. In the reading, the writer lists three aspects in which ecocertification has disadvantages, while in the lecture, the speaker debates separately.
First of all, the reading states that American has been exposed to so much advertising that it cannot work by advertising. While the lecture points out there is a difference between advertisements of company itself and of independent agency. And American consumers tend to believe in the advertisement made by independent agency, which can increase the sales of ecocertified wood if the products are advertised by independent agency.
Secondly, the reading says that higher price of ecocertified wood than common one can lead the consumers to buy cheap one other than ecocertified wood. But in the lecture, the speaker thinks that if the difference between the prices of ecocertified wood and of common one is much small, such as less than 5 percent, the consumers tend to buy ecocertificed wood. Because in this way, people can make contribution to protecting environment.
Thirdly, the speaker asserts that American wood companies must sell ecocertified wood because of foreign competition, even if they don't sell abroad. If American companies don't sell ecocertified wood, foreign companies may grab the market in America, which is much serious.
作者: zhengxiao0312 时间: 2011-8-15 18:27:02 标题: RE:little_caty习作贴
[attach]169878[/attach]
作者: little_caty 时间: 2011-8-18 19:19:19
8月18日 20100813NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? More and more people spend too much money on their pet (dogs, cats and others), although there are better uses for these money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With the increasing pressure of competition in the social life, more and more people put their emphasis on pets. Some people assert that they should pay much money to the pets as pets play an important role in people’s life. However, other people argue that people had better spend money on other more useful issues, instead of pets. From my perspectives, I am in favor of the latter statement.
First and foremost, paying too much money on pets can lead to financial problems. As we know, feeding pets is a much expensive activity, which needs money endlessly in various aspects. I will depict the life of a common family with a dog for instance. When the little dog first comes to the home or gets ill, the host must take it to special hospital to take injections; when it is boring, the host has to buy it toys or hire someone to walk the dog; when its hair get long and dirty, the host needs to pay for a special care. Additionally, the expense of dog food everyday is a big deal. If the family is not rich enough to afford these expenses, keeping a pet becomes a burden for them, which can make a negative effect on the standard of their life.
Secondly, paying too much attention on pets may cause a problem of social communication. People are fond of pets for many reasons, mainly about the pets’ loyalty and loveliness. Eager for care and company, some people prefer feeding a pet to communicating with other people. But communication is so important that it cannot be replaced by pets. In a social life, people can share their ideas and motions through talking; they can do sports or entertainments with friends to be pleasant; they can visit their relatives to enjoy family love, which all cannot be replaced by pets. Thus, people should pay more money on exercising, having fun with families, education and so on. In my opinion, these activities are more significant than feeding a pet.
In conclusion, pets cannot be the whole world of people’s life, and people should not pay too much money on pets. In this way, they can enjoy real life better and gain more care and company from other people, which can lead to a happier life.
作者: wq1102 时间: 2011-8-19 10:59:01
本帖最后由 wq1102 于 2011-8-19 11:09 编辑
8月18日 20100813NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? More and more people spend too much money on their pet (dogs, cats and others), although there are better uses for these money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With the increasing pressure of competition in the social life, more and more people put their emphasis focus on pets. Some people assert that they should pay much money to the pets as pets play an important role in people’s life. However, other people others argue that people had better spend these money on other some more useful issues, instead of pets. From my perspectives, I am in favor of the latter statementone.
7 |3 S0 R$ L5 _3 e/ l9 @( l
First and foremost, paying too much money on pets can lead to financial problems. As we know, feeding pets is a much very expensive activity, which needs a great deal of money endlessly in various aspects. I will depict the life of a common family with a dog for instance. When the a little dog first comes to the home or gets ill, the host owner must take it to special hospital to take injections; when it is boring, the host owner has to buy it toys or hires someone to walk the dog; when its hair get long and dirty, the host owner needs to pay for a special care(最好指出什么是special care). Additionally,
the expense of dog food everyday is a big dealexpense. If the family is not rich enough to afford these expenses, keeping a pet will becomes a burden for to them, which can make a negative effect on the standard of their life.4 N% G- Z6 S2 }3 K& Z& R, I$ \1 r- G
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Secondly, paying too much attention on pets may cause a problem of social communication. People are fond of pets for many reasons, mainly about for the pets’ loyalty and loveliness. Eager for care and accompany, some people prefer feeding a pet to communicating with others people. But communication is so important that it cannot be replaced by pets(这句话的表达欠妥). In a social lifethe society, people can share their ideas and motions through talking; they can do sports or entertainments (没有do entertainment的用法) with friends to be pleasant; they can visit their relatives to enjoy family love, which all of these cannot be replaced by pets. Thus, people should pay more these（和Thus 前面的对应） money on exercising, having fun with families, education and so on. In my opinion, these activities are more significant meaningful than feeding a pet.
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In conclusion, pets cannot be the whole world of people’s life, and people should not pay too much money on pets. In this way, they can enjoy real life better and gain more care and accompany from other peopleothers, which can lead to a happier life.
有些地方表达偏中文化，建议楼主多加练习
作者: wq1102 时间: 2011-8-19 11:10:23
级别太低，楼主多多包涵啊，红色的是楼主的原文，是被删除的内容，蓝色的是我修改的内容。
作者: xu8431 时间: 2011-8-19 17:49:44
818 独立 改好了
[attach]170323[/attach]
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