标题: DAILY WRITIING-chhiwawa‘s writing T T [打印本页] 作者: chhiwawa 时间: 2011-8-3 11:51:13 标题: DAILY WRITIING-chhiwawa‘s writing T T
本帖最后由 chhiwawa 于 2011-8-3 11:54 编辑
第一次作业！
8月2日
parents help determined the future of their children or children allow to make their own choices.
Which school am I going? What major shall I choose? What kind of job is better? One definitely encounter this option throughout his life to growing up. An argument often erupts between himself and his parents. If I ask to argue whose words should be lauder, I would say it depends on children’s ages.
When I was young, many a fantastic future career come to my mine at will, range from a scientist to an artist, a doctor to an astronaut, even the president of my country. Dreams always changed along with moves we watched, the environment we came across, friends we made with and all sorts of situation may vacillated our dreams. Since we are too young to make up our mind in one goal and easily influent by others, I can not image the terrible consequence without parents’ wise decisions. What is more, we are restricted in the ivory tower, so seldom could we have the opportunity to enter the real society to find out what is the best choice for our future. Thanks for our parents, who are absolutely more experienced, far-sighted than us, greenhorn children, they can assist us when determine our future. Therefore, it is sagacious that young children turn to his parents for help.
It is no doubt that parents' advice should be taken into account. However, for a grow-up child, the situation is not the same. A mature child have lived in society longer, experience various situation more than before, and learned lots of basic subjects for future life. At the same time, elder child is surer about his strength and weakness through growing and learning. They are able to do some decision after weighing the pros and cons. For instant, one once dream of becoming an economics, after studying maths he may think twice if he is really doing bad on mathematics since most the successful economics require the ability to solve difficult mathematical problems. He can make a wise choice. Although parents’ determination can guarantee us to avoid a few pains in life, there also exist an idiom, “no pains, no gains.” Without suffering obstacles, how could we survive in the ruthless and relentless future life? Thence, we can’t ignore children’s own choice.
After all, life belongs to oneself eventually. Parents should let go gradually and let the children to make their own decision. Many tragedies readily found can serve as reversal examples to illustrate my point of view and just take my friend Marco. After graduation from high school, he need to choose my major in university. Addicted in novels and dramas, he wanted to study on literature. His parents, on contrary, thought machinery is more fit for a boy to study and easier to hunt a job. Ultimately, he became one of the worse classmates majoring in machinery. Moreover, according to a simple investigation once showed in China Daily, four-fifths more people who chose their own majors in college make achievement in future life compared to those who have no right to struggle for parents when they are still a child.
Now you can see, whether for a child or his parents to choose child’s future is really depends on the child’s age gradation. To be more specifically, the driving force is own to whom is not only age, but one’s mature situation. A younger child, lack of experience, his parents’ choices should be take up primary, but for an elder child, his own determination should outweigh his parents’. Ultimately, parents should let child make his own choice and learn from the failure. 作者: chhiwawa 时间: 2011-8-3 15:46:54
TPO 16的综合写作
In the lecture, the speaker argues that new rules and guide lines are made for improving the science of archaeology in Britain. By presenting three points corresponding to reading, the speaker casts doubt on the conclusion that the prospect of archaeology was gloomy and limitations in Britain.
Firstly, the speaker argues that any construction projects will be examined carefully before processing. At the beginning, archaeologists will investigate the site to determine whether it is value or of the interest. And then archaeologists, builders and officials will arrange a meeting to discuss projects. However, the reading section believes many precious artifacts were lost to construction projects.
Secondly, the speaker discusses the financial support for all sorts of archaeological work are based on construction company. Researchers, benefit from the funding from construction companies, are able to broaden the study realm. This is a new source of funding which is contrary to the belief in the reading that government is the only resource.
Finally, the lecturer points out that there exists a growing number of paid work in archaeology. And thanks to this, increasing number of people pursuing career in professional archaeology. Also, many experts involved in the area of archaeology, doing researches and writing reports and paper. What's more, archaeologists are well paid. However, the reading section holds the opposite perspective that the career in archaeology is dim.
In short, the points made in the lecture challenges the reading by showing evident that number of archaeologists is growing, the science of archaeology is support by company and any construction plan is taken into carefully consideration.作者: april0515 时间: 2011-8-3 15:54:46
1#chhiwawa8月2日
parents help determined the future of their children or children allow to make their own choices.* f# r0 d; d) h! B2 L
# g3 y: R- {* B$ M0 x0 T( M$ u5 g
Which school am I going? What major shall I choose? What kind of job is better? One will definitely encounter this these options throughout his life to growing up(我觉得to growing up可以去掉哦）. An argument often erupts between himself and his parents. If I ask （was asked) to argue whose words should be lauder(louder)(ps.好像只有中国人会这么说，嘿嘿不要直译啊), I would say it depends on children’s ages.
$ e3 R9 ~. P- u+ `6 y7 S( g% p) H
When I was young, many a fantastic future career comes to my mine at will, range(ranging) from a scientist to an artist, a doctor to an astronaut, even the president of my country. Dreams always changed along with moves(movies) we watched, the environment we came across, friends we made with and all sorts of situation which may vacillated(这个词用的好~ 学习啦） our dreams. Since we are too young to make up our mind in one goal and easily influent influenced by others, I can not image(imagine) the terrible consequence without parents’ wise decisions. What is more, we are restricted in the ivory tower(这个好~）, so seldom could we have the opportunity to enter the real society to find out what is the best choice for our future. Thanks for our parents, who are absolutely more experienced, far-sighted（far-sighted 学习一下~） than us, greenhorn children, they can assist us when determine our future.(thx for sb, they can...这个表达好像是有错误的，可以改成，thanks to sb. we can....... 仅供参考这个。。。我也有点懵~）Therefore, it is sagacious（这个词也用的好） that young children turn to his parents for help.
【这一段观点很不错，但问题在于观点提出不明确，应该在第一句话就把你的观点抛出来，及young---due to lack of enough experiences....better for them to turn to his parents for help....（仅供参考这句话~）然后再接下来你后面的分析，这样可能会更有条理些~】
It is no doubt that parents' advice should be taken into account. However, for a grow-up child, the situation is not the same. A mature child have lived in society longer, experience various situation more than before, and learned lots of basic subjects for future life. At the same time, elder child is surer about his strength and weakness （这个概括的很好，~学习啦~）through growing and learning. They are able to do some decision after weighing the pros and cons（这句话也概括的很到位！）. For instant, one once dream of becoming an economics, after studying maths he may think twice if he is really doing bad on mathematics since most the successful economics require the ability to solve difficult mathematical problems. He can make a wise choice. Although parents’ determination can guarantee us to avoid a few pains in life, there also exist an idiom, “no pains, no gains.” Without suffering obstacles, how could we survive in the ruthless and relentless future life? Thence, we can’t ignore children’s own choice. 【这段和上一段存在的是同一个问题~ 不过语言很好，和喜欢~】
After all, life belongs to oneself eventually. Parents should let go gradually and let the children to make their own decision. Many tragedies readily found can serve as reversal（reversal examples?) examples to illustrate my point of view and just take my friend Marco as an example. After graduation from high school, he need to choose my major in university. Addicted in novels and dramas, he wanted to study on literature. His parents, on contrary, thought machinery is more fit for a boy to study and easier to hunt a job. Ultimately, he became one of the worse classmates majoring in machinery. Moreover, according to a simple investigation once showed in China Daily, four-fifths more people who chose their own majors in college make achievement in future life compared to those who have no right to struggle for parents when they are still a child. 【这段不错，也是，能知道哪个是观点句，就是觉得不太清晰，多加些连词神马滴会好一些~ 】
- Q0 n, V5 f/ q2 J) F4 |$ |1 t
Now you can see, whether for a child or his parents to choose child’s future is really depends on the child’s age gradation. To be more specifically, the driving force is own to whom is （也许改成depends on 会好一点）not only age, but one’s mature situation. A younger child, lack of experience, his parents’ choices should be take up primary( taken into account primarily）, but for an elder child, his own determination should outweigh his parents’. Ultimately, parents should let child make his own choice and learn from the failure.
Which school am I going? What major shall I choose? What kind of job is better? One definitely encounter （encounter是偶然遇到的意思吧，在这里好像不太恰当）this option throughout his life to growing up. An argument often erupts between himself and his parents. If I ask to argue whose words should be lauder(voice be louder?), I would say it depends on children’s ages.
When I was young, many a fantastic futural careers come to my mind at will（学习了~）, range from(用得好~) a scientist to an artist, a doctor to an astronaut, even the president of my country. Dreams always changed along with moves we watched, the environment we came across, friends we made with and all sorts of situation may vacillated our dreams. Since we are too young to make up our mind in one goal and easily influent by others, I can not image the terrible consequence without parents’ wise decisions. What is more, we are restricted in the ivory tower, so seldom could we（这个倒装用的不错，学习了~） have the opportunity to enter the real society to find out what is the best choice for our future. Thanks for our parents, who are absolutely more experienced, far-sighted than us, greenhorn children, they can assist us when determine our future.（这句话有些语法问题，建议去掉they） Therefore, it is sagacious that young children turn to his (their) parents for help.
It is no doubt that parents' advices should be taken into account. However, for a grow-up child, the situation is not the same. A mature child(child应该不要用mature形容吧，可以用一个从句a teenager who has learned much experience) has lived in society longer, experiences various situation more than before, and learned lots of basic subjects for future life. At the same time, elder child is surer about his strength and weakness through growing and learning. They are able to do some decision after weighing the pros and cons. For instant, one once dreamt of becoming an economics, (加一个转折连词，while或者however)after studying maths he may think twice if he is really doing bad on mathematics since most the successful economics require the ability to solve difficult mathematical problems. He can make a wise choice. Although parents’ determination can guarantee us to avoid a few pains in life, there also exist an idiom, “no pains, no gains.”(这句谚语在这里用不太恰当，pains是辛劳的意思，不是痛苦） Without suffering obstacles, how could we survive in the ruthless and relentless future life? Thence, we can’t ignore children’s own choice.
After all, life belongs to oneself eventually. Parents should let go gradually and let the children to make their own decision. Many tragedies readily found can serve as reversal examples to illustrate my point of view and just take my friend Marco. After graduation from high school, he need to choose my major in university. Addicted in novels and dramas, he wanted to study on literature. His parents, on contrary, thought machinery is more fit for a boy to study and easier to hunt a job. Ultimately, he became one of the worse classmates majoring in machinery. Moreover, according to a simple investigation once showed in China Daily, four-fifths more people who chose their own majors in college make achievement in future life compared to those who have no right to struggle for parents when they are still a child. .（例子举得不错，但是建议第一个例子再缩短一点，毕竟是身边人的例子）
Now you can see, whether for a child or his parents to choose child’s future is really depends on the child’s age gradation. To be more specifically, the driving force is own to whom is not only age, but one’s mature situation. A younger child, lack of experience, his parents’ choices should be take up primary, but for an elder child, his own determination
should outweigh his parents’. Ultimately, parents should let child make his own choice and learn from the failure.
Looking around carefully, it is easy to find out that all sorts of mass media, all kinds of stratums are discussing about the financially affairs. Since finance is playing an increasing crucial role in our daily life, children should learn to administrate their allowance at the early stage in order to get along with the society.
First of all, the ability to manage their own money actually matters critical far from imagination for children's future life. During the course of managing finance, one could attain the ability of processing data and making decision, which is significant demand preparing for an duty adults. To make it more specifically, Christine’s real experience could serve as a vivid example. C is the chairwoman of Student Union in my school, who make balance between work and study. The secret that she is such a responsible adult is own to her domination of money in her early life. Thence, learning how to manage finance is a way for young children to become independent and mature.
Admittedly, children will affirmatively make some mistakes in the progress of money management. However, there also exist an idiom, “no pains, no gains.” Without suffering obstacles, how could we survive in the ruthless and relentless future life? In fact, such mistakes is a vital tool to help children improve their ability to administrate their financial problem. According to a simple investigation once showed in China Daily, four-fifths more people who once suffering the financial crisis at young age will earn more compared to those who pick up finance management in later life even if they are more mature at that time. Therefore, allowing children to manage their allowance by themselves is one of the most effective alternatives to help them turn into an answerable grown-up.
However, allowing young children to manage money on their own does not suggest that seniors should pay no attention to children's decision entirely. Parents need to educate their children the basic rules on spending money and assist them to build up values on financial properly. What is more, even school should give compulsory courses to children, teaching them financial management.
All in all, to manage ones money is to manage ones life, from my point of view. The earlier a child learns to spending money properly, the more responsible adult will become in future, if he is under the assessments of seniors.作者: smenxiao 时间: 2011-8-4 08:28:25
Looking around carefully, it is easy to find out that all sorts of mass media, all kinds of stratums are discussing about the financially（financial） affairs. Since finance is playing an increasing crucial role in our daily life（我不知道这么写好不好，因为无论媒体有没有讲经济的事情，经济毋庸置疑的是生活中crucial的一方面，可以写世界经济recession，所以In order to become financially responsible adult越加重要）, children should learn to administrate their allowance at the early stage in order to get along with the society.! Z9 W: G# F7 z0 a- V, v! L. U
" [5 q9 ?6 X% Q/ P8 w: y7 S
First of all, the ability to manage their own money actually matters critical far from imagination for children's future life. During the course of managing finance, one could attain the ability of processing data and making decision, which is significant demand preparing for an duty（responsible） adults（adult）. To make it more specifically, Christine’s real experience could serve as a vivid example. C（还是打全名吧我觉得） is the chairwoman of Student Union in my school, who make balance between work and study. The secret that she is such a responsible adult is own to her domination of money in her early life（要提到这个C的早期掌管钱的经历具体如何影响她现在成为such a respinsible adult这样写起来才比较充实）. Thence, learning how to manage finance is a way for young children to become independent and mature.1 s% B9 h3 x- S+ G4 I7 M5 r c* ^
Admittedly, children will affirmatively make some mistakes in the progress of money management. However, there also exist an idiom, “no pains, no gains.”（我觉得however前后这两句话可以呼换下位置，我看你的第一局还以为你要说这些mistake的代价呢） Without suffering from obstacles, how could we survive in the ruthless and relentless future life? In fact, such mistakes（怎样的mistake，如果能写具体会显得更充实） is a vital tool to help children improve their ability to administrate their financial problem. According to a simple investigation once showed in China Daily, four-fifths more people who once suffering the financial crisis at young age will earn more compared to those who pick up finance management（financial crisis at young age与finance management in later life这两个不构成对比，就是这两个不是互斥关系） in later life even if they are more mature at that time. Therefore, allowing children to manage their allowance by themselves is one of the most effective alternatives to help them turn into an answerable grown-up.
However, allowing young children to manage money on their own does not suggest that seniors should pay no attention to children's decision entirely(entirely pay no attention to....). Parents need to educate their children the basic rules on spending money and assist them to build up values on financial properly. What is more, even school should give compulsory courses to children, teaching them financial management.(后面如果再补充个为什么就好了，比如什么in order to之类的)
6 A- A; Q, W" b. J
All in all, to manage ones money is to manage ones life, from my point of view. The earlier a child learns to spending money properly, the more responsible adult will become in future, if he is under the assessments(guide) of seniors.
Looking around carefully, it is easy tofind out that all sorts of mass media, all kinds of stratums are discussingabout the financially（financial） affairs. Since finance is playing an increasing crucial role in ourdaily life（我不知道这么写好不好，因为无论媒体有没有讲经济的事情，经济毋庸置疑的是生活中crucial的一方面，可以写世界经济recession，所以Inorder to become financially responsible adult越加重要）, childrenshould learn to administrate their allowance at the early stage in order to getalong with the society.! Z9 W: G# F7 z0 a-V, v! L. U
" [5 q9 ?6 X%Q/ P8 w: y7 S
First of all, the ability to manage their own money actually matters criticalfar from imagination for children's future life. During the course of managingfinance, one could attain the ability of processing data and making decision,which is significant demand preparing for an duty（responsible） adults（adult）. To make it more specifically, Christine’s real experience couldserve as a vivid example. C（还是打全名吧我觉得） is the chairwomanof Student Union in my school, who make balance between work and study. Thesecret that she is such a responsible adult is own to her domination of moneyin her early life（要提到这个C的早期掌管钱的经历具体如何影响她现在成为such a respinsible adult这样写起来才比较充实）. Thence, learning how to manage finance is a way for young childrento become independent and mature.1 s% B9 h3 x- S+ G4 I7 M5r c* ^
: x, e! }) E0 G' eAdmittedly,children will affirmatively make some mistakes in the progress of moneymanagement. However, there also exist an idiom, “no pains, no gains.”（我觉得however前后这两句话可以呼换下位置，我看你的第一局还以为你要说这些mistake的代价呢） Without suffering from obstacles, how could we survive in the ruthlessand relentless future life? In fact, such mistakes（怎样的mistake，如果能写具体会显得更充实） is a vital tool to help children improve their ability toadministrate their financial problem. According to a simple investigation onceshowed in China Daily, four-fifths more people who once suffering thefinancial crisis at young age will earn more compared to those who pick upfinance management（financial crisis at young age与financemanagement in later life这两个不构成对比，就是这两个不是互斥关系） in later life even if they aremore mature at that time. Therefore, allowing children to manage theirallowance by themselves is one of the most effective alternatives to help themturn into an answerable grown-up.
* u5 b" [4 J7 x J( `( V
3 f. F" H' R0 g- qHowever,allowing young children to manage money on their own does not suggest thatseniors should pay no attention to children's decision entirely(entirely pay no attention to....). Parents need toeducate their children the basic rules on spending money and assist them tobuild up values on financial properly. What is more, even school should givecompulsory courses to children, teaching them financial management.(后面如果再补充个为什么就好了，比如什么in order to之类的)
3 C, r2 o8 D% i% P6 A- A; Q, W" b. J
All in all, to manage ones money is to manage ones life, from my point of view.The earlier a child learns to spending money properly, the more responsibleadult will become in future, if he is under the assessments(guide) of seniors.
第一次改作文，写的不对的地方尽请谅解！作者: 冰雪蜂鸟 时间: 2011-8-4 21:14:02
8月3日独立写作
Looking around carefully, it is easy tofind out that all sorts of mass media, all kinds of stratums are discussingabout the financially affairs. Since finance is playing an increasing crucialrole in our daily life, children should learn to administrate their allowanceat the early stage in order to get along with the society.
Actually the real topic of this articleshould be whether managing money earlier can help children become a responsibleadult. So you would better stick more to it in the very beginning. As youshows, this point you expressed well in following paragraph.
First of all, the ability to manage their own money actually matters criticalfar from imagination for children's future life. During the course of managingfinance, one could attain the ability of processing data and making decision,which is(are) significant demand preparing for an duty adults. To make it morespecifically, Christine’s real experience could serve as a vivid example. C isthe chairwoman of Student Union in my school, who make balance between work andstudy. The secret that she is such a responsible adult is own to her dominationof money in her early life. Thence, learning how to manage finance is a way foryoung children to become independent and mature.
Admittedly, children will affirmatively make some mistakes in the progress ofmoney management. However, there also exist an idiom, “no pains, no gains.”Without suffering obstacles, how could we survive in the ruthless andrelentless future life? In fact, such mistakes is(are) a vital tool to helpchildren improve their ability to administrate their financial problem.According to a simple investigation once showed in China Daily, four-fifthsmore people who once suffering the financial crisis at young age will earn morecompared to those who pick up finance management in later life even if they aremore mature at that time. Therefore, allowing children to manage theirallowance by themselves is one of the most effective alternatives to help themturn into an answerable grown-up.
Another problem is you did not clearly state your sub-idea in the first one or two sentence of each paragraph, as these two did.
However, allowing young children to manage money on their own does not suggestthat seniors should pay no attention to children's decision entirely. Parentsneed to educate their children the basic rules on spending money and assistthem to build up values on financial properly. What is more, even school shouldgive compulsory courses to children, teaching them financial management.
Good. but its better to provide several sentence to extend your statement.
All in all, to manage ones money is to manage ones life, from my point of view.The earlier a child learns to spending money properly, the more responsibleadult will become in future, if he is under the assessments of seniors.