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标题: Daily writting by 一派 [打印本页]

作者: 一派    时间: 2011-12-30 01:20:47     标题: Daily writting by 一派

本帖最后由 一派 于 2011-12-30 02:00 编辑


作者: 一派    时间: 2011-12-30 01:21:30

本帖最后由 一派 于 2011-12-30 02:01 编辑

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who cannot accept criticism will not succeed in a team.

All success requires the assistance and cooperation of others, including listening how’s other people feel about our personality and work. For that reason, I stand on the point that people can not succeed when they refuse to accept criticism from others in a team.

Criticism is actually good to every one of us. By listening to it, we swap ideas and information with each other so that we can make up deficiency and refresh ourselves for further step in pursuing for success. “The most indispensable part of my success is considering other’s advice instead of maintaining unchanged mind. “ It’s the answer spoken by young and old, black and white, disabled and not disabled, the people who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by a team of Harvard University. All of these concluded to the result that criticism can be a friend of us, even though it might hurt us sometime.

In a team, the reason people suggest us largely because they are eager for a better cooperation. Individuals who are deal to all advice can not either get along well with coworkers or lead others with their respect. Given an example of mine, I organized a big project a few weeks ago which was a charitable chance for me. In that circumstance, I could not wait to prove myself so I planned all things on my own without discussing with group members. In the following days, I showed my plans to them ignoring their dissatisfaction of the project I want to present. The result was that the project goes very wrong since the layout has very big discrepancy with my version. When I asked them why not come to me for discussion, they said that I did not give them the chance to communicate. When I took a tumble and realized how wrong I was, the chance has gone. Thus, being a successful man, the relationship of a team and a good leader who can take criticism kindly are important.

Although some might say that an excess of criticism tend to mislead them. Nonetheless, it is a way which must be passed to success. We can pick up the criticism which is good for us and neglect the rest of the slander one. Opening our ears, for not missing the good criticism and the success will come to us anytime.

There will be setbacks and false stars when we raise a thought in a team. There is one or two who won’t agree with us and give criticism to us. But as a team member longing for achievements, it is must to face it and make use of it for a new and better “us” we haven’t met before.
作者: gtgtooo    时间: 2011-12-30 17:40:29

我把修改过的放在附件里了
欢迎多多互改哈~~
作者: 木子初晴天    时间: 2011-12-30 20:47:20

本帖最后由 一派 于 2011-12-30 02:01 编辑 ( R# E4 u, j/ p9 h: ^

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who cannot accept criticism will not succeed in a team.

All success requires the assistance and cooperation(cooperation一般只和包括自己的用,这有些chiglish) of others, including listening how’s other people feel about our personality and work(including the judgement of others toward the personality and the work's outcome of ours). For that reason, I stand on the point that people can not succeed when(if) they refuse to accept criticism from others in a team.



Criticism is actually good to(of a great benefit to) every one of us. By listening to it, we swap ideas and information with each other so that we can make up deficiency and refresh ourselves for further step in pursuing for success. “The most indispensable part of my success is considering other’s advice instead of maintaining unchanged mind. “ It’s the answer spoken by young and old, black and white, disabled and not disabled(有点像凑字数了,和题目不相关呀), the people who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by a team of Harvard University. All of these concluded to the result that criticism can be a friend of us, even though it might hurt us(make us fell uncomfortable, hurt us指客观伤害了而不是我们感觉被伤害) sometime.

In a team, the reason people suggest us largely(frequently) because they are eager for a better cooperation. Individuals who are deal to(with) all advice can not either get along well with other coworkers or lead others with their respects. Given an example of mine, I organized a big project a few weeks ago which was a charitable chance for me(charitable one). In that circumstance, I could not wait to prove myself so I planned all things on my own without discussing with group members. In the following days, I showed my plans to them ignoring their dissatisfaction of the project I want to present. The result was that the project goes very wrong since the layout has very big discrepancy with my version. When I asked them why not come to me for discussion, they said that haven't given them the chance to communicate. When I took a tumble and realized how wrong I was, the chance has gone. Thus, being a successful man, the relationship of a team and a good leader who can take criticism kindly are important.


Although some might say that an excess of criticism tend to mislead them. Nonetheless, it is a way which must be passed to success. We can pick up the criticism which is good for us and neglect the rest of the slander ones. Opening our ears, for not missing the good(valuable) criticism and the success will come to us anytime(in the end ).
|; c7 _  _3 H  X5 _
There will be setbacks and false stars when we raise a thought in a team. There is one or two who won’t agree with us and give criticism to us. But as a team member longing for achievements, it is a must to face it and make use of it for a new and better “us” we haven’t met before.


能看的出来你的文字功底很不错 而且没有用五段论的模板 只有写了很多篇的人才能达到自如发挥 不用套路的手法吧  用词和语法问题都不大 只有个别的用词不准确和语言赘述我把修改后的写在括号里了 有不恰当之处还希望多多包涵 共同学习  其实我很赞同你的方法 原因不用多 详尽解释并且detailed &solid就好 但是这种写作风格不一定适合每篇文章 所以针对不同的文章如果能多举出几个原因会更好 加油!

作者: 木子初晴天    时间: 2011-12-30 20:48:10

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