Professor: …… Although your academic credentials and support letters are excellent, this program has a strong requirement that students gain job experience in the form of internships in one of the professional fields for which we train…….有比较明确的rej理由,无论是不是借口,都方便第一轮回击
……I realized that I may not have much work experience, therefore, I started another internship since February to help cover the shortage. It is because I have already submitted my application materials in late January that I was not able to include this part in my package at that time. …… Till August or September, when your program begins, I will have as long as seven-month full-time work experience. I really hope this updated information could help you reconsider my application. 抛出重要事实,表明心意
…… I can also provide a new recommendation letter from the director of my team, who supervises my work currently. 增加真实性,而非口说无凭的垂死挣扎
…… It is true that the application process did help me know myself, about who I was, who I am, and what I should do to realize my dream and become who I want to be. I have spent a lot of time and effort only to find out that I was not that much into academic research compared to put my ability and passion in workplace, though our psychology department actually encouraged students to get into academic world. I do appreciate that I can start a career-oriented master program to better equip myself. MHB is no doubt the perfect one. 心路历程,情绪复杂,但要记得表明忠心
Professor: ……However, the decision of who to admit for Fall 2012 has already been made, and we had to turn away a great many qualified applicants because the size of classes would be too large if we took them all. I am confident that the Committee would not consider you for admission for Fall 2012. They would consider you for Fall 2013.
But even if you decide to apply again, do not put all your hopes on the MHB program. The competition for admission has become increasingly difficult as our unique program becomes better known. I cannot guarantee that your academic credentials would make the cut next year……
…… As for the summer internship, it is much more easy and convenient for me to find one in Beijing, so it's totally OK if you cannot provide me with an internship in LA……. it is likely that not all admitted students will finally choose MHB. If there is available place for Fall 2012, would you mind considering my application? 信息量很大的一封长邮件里主旨必须highlight出来,不然老头子会忘的,下文同
Here I will briefly summarize my core competence:
1) Though I only have limited relevant internship till now, I am still working hard to experience more and gain insight into public relations…….
2) Deep involvement in campus association and internship at consulting firm also prove my working capability in communication aspects……
3) I have deep understanding of human behavior due to solid psychology and economics knowledge, and I made use of resource in campus to prepare me for a career……
虽然打了省略号,但是内容原本也不长,一定要简洁,别敲出好几百字PS出来
I understand that many qualified students may be denied because of class size, but I would feel terribly sorry if I were one of them. It was around June 2011 that I first saw MHB's website, fell in love with this unique program and paid continuous attention to every small change in those pages. I can even list all your new information and requirement compared with last year (^_^)……
Professor: You are certainly passionate about this goal…… I will see if the Admissions Committee is willing to move you onto waiting list…… 老头子松口了,看到希望了~
接下来的内容比较个人化,故简单介绍了。
老头子表示,他担心non-native English speakers with limited work experience不能在LA找到实习,完成不了学分毕不了业,故希望我提供证明自己肯定能在中国搞到实习,这份assurance将非常helpful。