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标题: Argument一篇，A的确比I好写一些啊 [打印本页]

作者: ♂0℃男孩 时间: 2015-10-22 17:44:30 标题: Argument一篇，A的确比I好写一些啊

题目是：
Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

正文是：
Although we found basket with the same specific pattern in two towns divided by a board and deep rivers where no boats can be found, this is not enough for us to conclude that this Palean basket is not uniquely Palean. We have noticed that the a similar basket was found in Lithos and there is a board and deep river between Lithos and Palean where boat cannot be found, but they cannot directly corroborate ununiqueness of Palean basket.

How do we know whether the river existed at ancient time? Although it is board and deep, it can be a manually dug river recent years. Perhaps there was no Lithos in old days, the area in Lithos now was belong to Palean. So we can find this basket in Lithos. Even we grant it that the river exists for a long time and even we find there is no boat in this river nowadays can't we conclude that people in ancient time couldn't go across this river. Perhaps, swimming is popular in ancient times and it was a custom for them that people should swim across this river every month for communication.

The so-called Palean baskets was popular in a lot of villages in ancient time. Although only people in Palean could make them, Palean baskets were famous in old days and people living in nearby villages liked them to the extent that nearly every house had one or two Palean baskets. The reason why they can only be found by the Palean people is that people in other villages didn't care about this craft later on so gradually they could just be found in its original village-- Palean. Perhaps, the only basket found in Lithos was one of preserved Palean baskets made in that popular time.

The author didn't delineate the particular distinctive pattern the so-called Palean baskets is characterized. How does it look like? Does this possibility exists that two patterns are different from our eyes but not for ancient people? Are the patter for baskets in Palean and that in Lithos exactly the same? We think they have some visual similarity while totally different methods contained in their woven process. If we are not familiar with their craft, we can just judge them from their appearance and their logical composition is neglected by us. The true maybe is that the bakest found in Lithos is different from baskets in Palean and they have their own unique baskets.

Surely, it is difficult for us to convey a Palean basket to Lithos in the condition described and maybe people in Lithos will be happy if it's not unique for Palean. But it don't mean we can say that it is not unique. More details for the evidence should be confirmed to support the statement. Woven basket with a particular distinctive is a cultural honor for a village and it deserve our efforts to research its origin.

作者: 刘迎 时间: 2015-10-22 22:51:27

1. 第一段没有把具体论点讲出来；第一句是重复原文内容。建议把文章的三个点总结一下放在第一段

2.同理，论证每段开头都把中心句写出来更好

3. instruction里有说“ evidence"，但是论证里没有看到和evidence联系起来的句子，还是要提一下。

4.第三段”The reason why they can only be found by the Palean people is that people in other villages didn't care about this craft later on so gradually they could just be found in its original village-- Palean.“ 英语的破折号只有一个-

加油！

作者: 岳然 时间: 2015-10-23 03:57:34

刘迎发表于 2015-10-22 22:51
1. 第一段没有把具体论点讲出来；第一句是重复原文内容。建议把文章的三个点总结一下放在第一段

2.同理， ...

一个短横"-"叫hyphen，一般用来连接合成词，比如12-year-old
稍长的叫en dash，“–”，更长一点的叫em dash，“—”
不是特别正式的场合en dash和em dash可以用"--"代替，也有人用"---"表示em dash
en dash通常用来连接数字，表示从多少到多少，比如1–10
em dash基本等价于破折号。按照规则来讲，前后不应该有空格，不过现在很多包括新闻在内的网站都加空格了，我也比较喜欢加，感觉看起来更舒服一点。

作者: 刘迎 时间: 2015-10-23 11:46:05

岳然发表于 2015-10-23 03:57
一个短横"-"叫hyphen，一般用来连接合成词，比如12-year-old
稍长的叫en dash，“–”，更长一点的叫em ...

thanks!!!

作者: zyzy_666666 时间: 2015-10-23 19:02:01

“what specific evidence is needed ”是文章要写的内容，原则上，3段格式是：需要什么证据，为什么需要这个。
你现在写得是：Argument有哪些缺陷，为什么。内容是一样的，但是这种写明显有偏题的感觉。

游泳的那个假设太牵强了。

发现的这个篮子可能不一样，需要进一步鉴定。这个也不太好，因为这里有点儿像质疑了客观事实本身。不过问题不大。

最后一段直接删除，结尾偏题了。不需要升华，如果要写直接说：没有上述证据，argument中的推断是不合理的。

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