More on 2nd Floor作者: 梦想裸考成功的猪 时间: 2017-9-23 00:32:14
略说申请
此处就只想说一点:慎用中介。有能力的同学更是应该如此。
楼主帮朋友去听了中介组织的一个讲座 + 久战雅思写作小分还是不达标,最终投向了中介的怀抱,就此走上了一条撕逼之路。
签合同后,最后一场的成绩又奇迹般的满足了最低要求,当时就琢磨要不要毁约然后自己申请。 但是想着毁约也要扣一部分钱,而且后面还要找中介做签证。于是就继续合作呗,让自己省心,也享受一下专业的服务。
However,我被中介文书不上心的工作态度和糟糕的专业水平惊呆了!以事实说话:
1. 专业官网要求的是Statement of Purpose,中介给写的Letter of Intent
———中介解释:都一样。但官网既然这么要求,为什么不按官网要求来?这只能让我认为:她没有认真看官网要求。
2. 文书收集表格,我填写的非常认真。结果文书里面描述我的工作,简直、完全看不下去。不清楚的地方可以问我,不了解的内容可以问我,可惜她没有。
3. 动机信一开头就是Choosing XXX and specializing in business management proved to be an instrumental way to fulfill my long cherished dream to dedicate to the promotion of my ideal life pursuit. 抛开语法不说,一来就是proved to be什么什么,作为一个工作多年的人,直接就下这么一个结论,而且后面没有任何论据来支撑,真的好吗?
中间还有If my thirst for further study and knowledge I studied assiduously in the day time like two driven forces in my life plan, then the professional exercitation in varied fields and my past life with numbers and business transactions like stars shinning in my night, which enlighten me that I still dreaming to contribute with what I could do my best for my life pursuit. 大家觉得怎么样? 这样的比喻和抒情,大家觉得可好?
4. 官网要求Statement of Purpose阐明三点:为什么这个项目,职业目标 及 这个项目如何促成你的职业目标。 她洋洋洒洒写那么多字,但完全没有紧扣以上三点进行阐述。 最终让我再次认为:没有认真看官网要求。
在与中介撕逼的过程中,我自己写完了Statement of Purpose,然后上某宝找润色服务,最终递交的就是某宝润色版。 整个过程中,中介文书除了各种让我跌破眼镜之外,没有做什么实质性的事情。作者: 梦想裸考成功的猪 时间: 2017-9-23 00:32:57
细说签证
传说加国签证是最难的,特别是我们这类单身大龄青年,因为会被认为有移民倾向。
所以,从一开始,我最担心的就是签证。
中介说我有两大劣势:第一年龄;第二离职。
签完合同后(5月),中介就让我赶紧找工作(还得找大企业,工资高的,让自己处于在职状态,这样移民倾向就会降低),同时给自己做流水。又要大企业,又要工资高,真的不好找。最后还是找到了一家,但是没有去。因为一方面我的原始计划完全被打乱了,另一方面后面会说。
7月初,中介又给我说,建议我去趟发达国家,刷一下出入境记录。
7月中旬,中介又给我提要求了,希望我能去参加商业性质的志愿者活动,拿一些投资方面的证书或者管理方面的证书。我瞬间有种抓狂的感觉,尼玛早干嘛去了,现在才说。
最后,后期有一次沟通,她完全不正面回答我的问题,让我决定放弃跟他们合作。我怕她把签证给我搞砸了。
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我决定找新中介合作,咨询了几家,最终某宝有一家的顾问的解答让我挺满意的,句句切中重点。而且合作模式我也比较满意,即:我把资料扫描给他们,他们准备好资料后再传我,我自己带着资料去递签。
付款后,他们安排了文书跟进,可惜这位文书小主简直让我惊呆了。我从7月30日开始陆陆续续向她提交材料,最终于8月20日提交完全部材料,她硬生生拖到8月26日才把整套文书做好发给我。期间催她,她美其名曰为了更好的检查我的文案,让她先把Study Plan给我看,她也不给,问她到底要不要提供流水,也不正面回复我。
8月26日接到她发给我的整套文案,我简直惊呆了,也可以用惊悚来形容。比如:
A. 我本科学校的英文名称,学校官网有,我的公证件也有,结果她都没看,就自己随便翻译了一个,显然是错的;
B. IMM1294E表填工作经历,工作单位名称她只填了一半,后面一半着实就真的没有!!生活费填在funds available for my stay栏位了;
C. Study Plan里面CAD写成了CND,当然语法问题,表达问题,逻辑问题那简直太多了。作者: 梦想裸考成功的猪 时间: 2017-9-23 00:36:26
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is XXX who desire to pursue an XXX degree in Canada. Reason for Pursuing an XXX Degree.
In 2012, I finished my bachelor’s degree in XXX at XXXX in Chongqing China.Thereafter, I started my career in XXX industry, specializing in XXXX. I didvery well in this field and obtained two specialist certificates which are endorsed by XXXX. Therefore, I was promoted to XXXX in XXXX Company. However, I still encounter the bottleneck of my career path. There is no room for me to get promotion in business processing unit and the salary will not increase substantially anymore. The only way to break the bottleneck is to make the transition frombusiness processing to business management. However, the competition formanagerial positions is so fierce that almost all of the chances are won by candidates who have a higher degree or XXX study background. Therefore, pursuing an XXX degree is so vital for my career path.
Reasons for Choosing XXXX of XXX University
Canada, as one of most developed countries in theworld, has advanced management experience and technology, with a worldwide reputation for its high education quality and multi-culture background. Besides, 【夸了学校所在的城市】. Moreover, 【夸了学校】. And another important reason is the courses provided by XXXXX are really suitable for me. There are as manyas 【详说了有多少对我有益的课程,并举例】
Therefore, XXXX in YYY City, Canada is an ideal choice for me!
Overall Educational Goals
There are two main categories of my educational goals:
One is to study the professional knowledge on management. As I mentioned above, XXXX provides a wide range of management courses. I will make full use of this study opportunity, sparing no efforts.
The other is to train the skills of interpersonal communication with people of different cultural backgrounds and to develop an international outlook, because China will embrace more international chances in the following years.
I have confidence in myself that I can achieve the goals since my learning ability is very strong, which can be proved by my past average GPA of XXXX, my IELTS cores of 7.0, my GMAT score of XXX and my two specialist certificates.
Increase of my Employment Chances in China
When I finish my study, I will come back to my motherland China where all my relatives and friends live and all my social resources exist. At that time XXXX will help increase my employment chances in three ways:
Firstly, the valuable management knowledge learned in the XXXX program and the master’s degree itself will become my core competence, so my chance to win the managerial positions in XXXX will increase substantially.
Secondly, the international outlook, skills of communications with foreigners and the understanding of multi-culture that will be enhanced during my study in Canada will help me compete for managerial positions of giant international XXXcompanies who are expected to expand their business extensively in the following years in China.The range of my employment choice is expanded, so the employment chances are increased as well.
Thirdly, an increasing number of other xxxinstitutions would like to recruit management personnel with both xxxx work experience and overseas study background. Their development potentials and salaries are good as well, so my employment chances will increase again.
Therefore, the 2-years xxx program will be a good investment for my career path.
Funds available for my two-year study
The total tuition for the xxx programs is about CADxx,000.00 and the annual living expenses range from CADxx,000 to xx,000.00.Therefore the overall cost of my 2-year study in Canadais about CADxx,000.00.
My parents and I prepare RMBxxx,000.00 deposit, whichis equivalent to CADxx,000.00. And plus the additional CAD10,000.00 GIC, The funds available for my study are sufficient.
As my parents have stable incomes, their life will not be affected by my study. Besides, I have one house property, so its rent isanother stable income for my parents.
Thank you very much for reviewing my application.