Issue105 Politics 究竟怎么“tolerate”?

fhxyweiUID: 157384

Issue105 Politics ------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：56分41秒     232 words
从2004年10月2日13时20分到2004年10月2日14时56分
------题目------
The true strength of a country is best demonstrated by the willingness of its government to tolerate challenges from it's own citizens.
------正文------
I fundamentally agree with the assertion that to tolerate the interior challenges from a nation's own citizens can best demonstrate this country's strength. Throughout human's history those countries that can cope with problems from their citizens are strong and robust in this world while those governments that always suppress their citizens are vulnerable and easily overturned. The capacities of tolerating the interior challenges from a nation's own citizens also can reflect the nation's degree of democracy and prosperity.

On the one hand, one autocratic government tends to ignore and squash its interior challenges from its own citizens, which severely blocks this country's road to democracy and prosperity. In order to maintain its autocratic domination, one autocratic government is fear of the challenges from its own citizens who are regarded as the potential hazards of impairing its domination. For instance, North Korea that recently claimed that he has owned the nuclear weapons is a case in point. Instead of taking effective reform to relieve domestic severe starvation, the government in North Korea confines its citizens' freedom to accept new ideas and contact with the outside world to realize that they are not living in the happy heaven as their leaders have propagandized. Although North Korea has a troop containing a tremendous number of soldiers in the world, which on the surface shows great strength, it is actually a false one due to its severe starvation and hazardous economy which may lead this government to collapse in some day. This illustrates the point that a country that cannot recognize and respect their citizen's real challenges cannot be a prosperous one.

On the other hand, a democratic government when it faces challenges from its own citizens can respect the citizens' ideas and beliefs and try best to satiate their demand instead of suppressing them. To some extent the capacity to mediate and conciliate various kinds of challenges among its citizens can also reflect a government's strength to rule his country. For instance, some countries that are consist of a motley assortment of race such as America and China can endure and respect different oppositions from diverse races. Rather, we all can remember clearly how nazi Germany slaughtered Jew during World War Two last century. The nazi government led by Hitler lacked the courage and patience to tolerate the challenges from Jew and was eventually overthrown. Thus, how to deal with the exterior challenges from its citizens in a reasonable and peacefully way plays a large role in a government's domination.

Furthermore, tolerating the interior challenges for a country from its own citizens is more consequential than conquering the exterior challenges such as defeating intruders. In the history of human beings, there are much more governments overturned by its own citizens compared with those overturned by other countries' invading. During World War Two, when China faced Japanese troops' intruding, the government led by JiangJieshi could ally with Communists to defeat Japanese military finally but soon was overturned by Communist party because it couldn't tolerant the challenges brought by Communists. Therefore the strength of a government and even the country is the ability of how to deal with the interior challenges from its own citizens rather than the exterior challenges.

In a word, without the capacity of tolerating the challenges from a country's own citizens, its government could not be too strong and everlasting. Moreover, this country would fall into turmoil and remain undeveloped. So how to improve the ability of dealing with the interior challenges from citizens is a meaningful issue for every government.

fhxyweiUID: 157384

谁帮我看看了，总觉得写的有点别扭

imongUID: 140258

最近太忙抱歉照顾不周 先帮你顶一下吧~

nightsky2004UID: 155946

I fundamentally agree with the assertion that to tolerate the interior challenges from a nation's own citizens can best demonstrate this country's strength. Throughout human's history those countries that can cope with problems from their citizens are strong and robust in this world while those governments that always suppress their citizens are vulnerable and easily overturned. The capacities of tolerating the interior challenges from a nation's own citizens also can reflect the nation's degree of democracy and prosperity.
首段提出了你的观点，完全赞成题目，就是国家的气量（姑且这么说吧）是国家强大与否的标志，有了thesis，接着看看
On the one hand, one autocratic government tends to ignore and squash its interior challenges from its own citizens, which这个代词指代的是什么？我明白你的意思是要说独裁者的做法，这里不如改成they severely blocks this country's road to democracy and prosperity.democracy一定能说明strength吗，我觉得有必要讨论一下什么是The true strength of a country。 In order to maintain its autocratic domination, one autocratic government is fear of the challenges from its own citizens who are regarded as the potential hazards of impairing its domination. For instance, North Korea that recently claimed that he has owned the nuclear weapons is a case in point. Instead of taking effective reform to relieve domestic severe starvation, the government in North Korea confines its citizens' freedom to accept new ideas and contact with the outside world to realize that they are not living in the happy heaven as their leaders have propagandized. Although North Korea has a troop containing a tremendous number of soldiers in the world, which on the surface shows great strength, it is actually a false one due to its severe starvation and hazardous economy which may lead this government to collapse in some day. 在这里用如此敏感的话题，楼主叙述得不错，我对这个问题不了解，但是楼主要保证自己的叙述符合事实 This illustrates the point that a country that cannot recognize and respect their citizen's real challenges cannot be a prosperous one.
本段楼主意图用朝核问题来反面论证，语句还是比较通顺，只不过感觉无法正确反映问题，challenges是什么呢，禁锢思想能否说明问题，North Korea人民生活的现状是否就是政府禁锢思想造成的呢？这些问题不太好讨论，个人建议是楼主最好换一个例子
On the other hand, a democratic government, when it faces challenges from its own citizens, can respect the citizens' ideas and beliefs and try best to satiate their demand instead of suppressing them. To some extent the capacity to mediate and conciliate various kinds of challenges among its citizens can also reflect a government's strength to rule his country. For instance, some countries that are consist of a motley assortment of race such as America and China can endure and respect different oppositions from diverse races. Rather, we all can remember clearly how nazi Germany slaughtered Jew during World War Two last century. The nazi government led by Hitler lacked the courage and patience to tolerate the challenges from Jew and was eventually overthrown. Thus, how to deal with the exterior challenges from its citizens in a reasonable and peacefully way plays a large role in a government's domination.
本段与上一段有同样的问题，例子无法证明你的观点，或者说你没有理解好什么是challenges from citizens
Furthermore, tolerating the interior challenges for a country from its own citizens is more consequential than conquering the exterior challenges such as defeating intruders. In the history of human beings, there are much more governments overturned by its own citizens compared with those overturned by other countries' invading. During World War Two, when China faced Japanese troops' intruding, the government led by JiangJieshi could ally with Communists to defeat Japanese military finally but soon was overturned by Communist party because it couldn't tolerant the challenges brought by Communists. Therefore the strength of a government and even the country is the ability of how to deal with the interior challenges from its own citizens rather than the exterior challenges.

In a word, without the capacity of tolerating the challenges from a country's own citizens, its government could not be too strong and everlasting. Moreover, this country would fall into turmoil and remain undeveloped. So how to improve the ability of dealing with the interior challenges from citizens is a meaningful issue for every government
楼主的文笔还是不错的，整篇文章我没有看出什么明显的错误，但是感觉论证缺乏深度，就是罗列例子然后重复结论，首句和末句之间除了例子之外，难以找到更深层次的论述，这是我的观点。Of course, said is easier than done，具体如何去做，我也没有太好的办法，你去翻看老帖子，可能会有收获。

fhxyweiUID: 157384

非常谢谢nightsky2004的修改，我写的时候感觉就是非常别扭，用那些例子的时候就有点霸王硬上弓的感觉；还有对这个题目的理解也比较偏和狭隘，现在我已经想好了另一个提纲，准备重写一遍再贴一次！

imong的身体恢复了？：）