argument6 我的第一篇，大家提点建议吧

haiyaUID: 187989

6The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. It is clear that the C Note cannot help but make money.


In this argument, the arguer concludes that to establish the C Note, which is a jazz club in Monroe will be tremendously profitable. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that there exists a local market because the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away. In addition, the arguer reasons that since the success of Monroe’s jazz festival and the radio program “Jazz nightly”, the several well-known jazz musicians and large amount of money spent by Jazz fans, the persons in Monroe is popular with Jazz and prefer to pay much money for it. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies.
First of all, the arguer fails to take into account the other elements to attract the persons go to a club. While we are informed the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away, it doesn’t equal that the local jazz fan will select the closer club, the C Note other than the relative more remote club. Aside from the distance, other aspects, such as the atmosphere, the service quality, the activities, the favorite musician will influence citizens’ selection for the jazz club. Therefore, the mere fact that the C Note is the nearest doesn’t buttress it will own a local market.
Second, the argument is based on a hasty generalization. For instance, since there are over 10000 people attend Monreo’ jazz festival last summer, the arguer assumes that the jazz is popular in Monreo. However, the success of the festival does not demonstrate the favorite of jazz among the local. The fact tells little about the detail and aim of the festival. It is very likely that a rush of touristswho have a holiday there take part in the local festival in coincidence or the festival itself provide amounts of relative cheap activities which satisfy the need of persons who dislike Jazz. In this case, how successful the festival is doesn’t infer that citizens like jazz. Similarly, “Jazz night”, a high-rated radio program in Monreo, doesn’t support the assumption about the citizen’s hobby of jazz since the content of the program is not referred to. Although the title of the program seems relative with jazz, common sense tells us the abstract title of a program doesn’t always hint the content. Even if the “Jazz night” exactly is a music program about jazz, the audience may be abstracted by the anchorman or its suitable time for listen to except the content. Consequently, it is unwarranted to assume that persons in Monreo extremely like jazz.
Third, the arguer commits a false analogy. According to the cited nationwide studies, jazz entertainment costs a typical jazz fan close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. The arguer simply assumes the local jazz fan spend same amounts of money on their club. As we all know, the jazz entertainment involves CDs, books, concerts and instruments and forth so besides club. The $1000 is not only contributed to the jazz club. Even if the typical fan spent $1000 on jazz club per year, it is luxurious and impossible for every common fan who earns too little money to spent on his/her hobbies. Moreover, since the study itself is on the basis of nation, the data is not representative for the local in Monreo due to the different conditions in various places, such as economy, education. Generally, wealthier and well-educated persons can afford the appreciation of music.
In conclusion, the arguer fails to make a causal relationship between to establish the C Note, a jazz club in Monreo and to make money with it. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide evidence that there exits a large local market to invest. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the favorite level of the citizens in Monreo about the jazz.

1.我是跟着新东方的样子写的。感觉新东方的摸板和ets提供的范文，前者比较死板，但层次特别清楚，后者比较灵活。新东方的摸板牢靠吗？？
2.题目中有很多逻辑错误，是不是指只要举自己有话好说的？
3.还是xdf的范文的问题，它的body一般都是两段？我写了三段，因为第三b的错误实在是太明显了，不写出来觉得不舒服！！
argu是不是和issue一样，最好字数在500--600？我没找到ets评价中涉及到这点。
4。象这篇这样写有问题吗？我是临摹着边想边写的。自己看着总觉得似乎太简单了。-_-!!（真受不了，写复杂的烦，写简单的又烦！！）

我的第一篇，希望大家帮我看看大方向有无问题。接下去可以跟着方向写：）

haiyaUID: 187989

顶一下，要沉了。。拜托大家能看一下，我的第一篇argu啊

LSDUID: 157855

占座，呵呵，正在进行时:p

haiyaUID: 187989

谢谢mm：）
去搬个板凳来听教育了，我对这个argu自己写的一点感觉也没有。不知道这种思路写的对不对~~

LSDUID: 157855

6The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. It is clear that the C Note cannot help but make money.


In this argument, the arguer concludes that to establish the C Note, which is a jazz club in Monroe will be tremendously profitable. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that there exists a local market because the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away. In addition, the arguer reasons that since the success of Monroe’s jazz festival and the radio program “Jazz nightly”, the several well-known jazz musicians and large amount of money spent by Jazz fans, the persons in Monroe is popular with Jazz and prefer to pay much money for it. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies.个人认为开头有点长了，使xdf的模式，这个最关键的concludes that to establish the C Note, which is a jazz club in Monroe will be tremendously profitable.要说到其他看时间把

First of all, the arguer fails to take into account the other elements to attract the persons go to a club. While we are informed the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away, it doesn’t equal that the local jazz fan will select the closer club, the C Note other than the relative more remote club. Aside from the distance, other aspects, such as the atmosphere, the service quality, the activities, the favorite musician will influence citizens’ selection for the jazz club. Therefore, the mere fact that the C Note is the nearest doesn’t buttress it will own a local market.add:其他比较近的音乐club亦有可能播放jazz music

Second, the argument is based on a hasty generalization. For instance, since there are over 10000 people attend Monreo’ jazz festival last summer, the arguer assumes that the jazz is popular in Monreo. However, the success of the festival does not demonstrate the favorite of jazz among the local. The fact tells little about the detail and aim of the festival. It is very likely that a rush of tourists who have a holiday there take part in the local festival in coincidence or the festival itself provide amounts of relative cheap activities which satisfy the need of persons who dislike Jazz. In this case, how successful the festival is doesn’t infer that citizens like jazz. Similarly, “Jazz night”, a high-rated radio program in Monreo, doesn’t support the assumption about the citizen’s hobby of jazz since the content of the program is not referred to. Although the title of the program seems relative with jazz, common sense tells us the abstract title of a program doesn’t always hint the content. Even if the “Jazz night” exactly is a music program about jazz, the audience may be abstracted by the anchorman or its suitable time for listen to except the content. Consequently, it is unwarranted to assume that persons in Monreo extremely like jazz.

Third, the arguer commits a false analogy?应该叫做以全推偏把. According to the cited nationwide studies, jazz entertainment costs a typical jazz fan close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. The arguer simply assumes the local jazz fan spend same amounts of money on their club. As we all know, the jazz entertainment involves CDs, books, concerts and instruments and forth so besides club. The $1000 is not only contributed to the jazz club. Even if the typical fan spent $1000 on jazz club per year, it is luxurious and impossible for every common fan who earns too little money to spent on his/her hobbies. Moreover, since the study itself is on the basis of nation, the data is not representative for the local in Monreo due to the different conditions in various places, such as economy, education. Generally, wealthier and well-educated persons can afford the appreciation of music.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to make a causal relationship between to establish the C Note, a jazz club in Monreo and to make money with it. To strengthen the argument, the arguer wouldshould have to provide evidence that there exits a large local market to invest. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the favorite level of the citizens in Monreo about the jazz.

观点批驳的很全阿:p也很convictive

1.我是跟着新东方的样子写的。感觉新东方的摸板和ets提供的范文，前者比较死板，但层次特别清楚，后者比较灵活。新东方的摸板牢靠吗？？
2.题目中有很多逻辑错误，是不是指只要举自己有话好说的？nod
3.还是xdf的范文的问题，它的body一般都是两段？我写了三段，因为第三b的错误实在是太明显了，不写出来觉得不舒服！！b2-3段均可阿
argu是不是和issue一样，最好字数在500--600？我没找到ets评价中涉及到这点。more than 350
4。象这篇这样写有问题吗？我是临摹着边想边写的。自己看着总觉得似乎太简单了。-_-!!（真受不了，写复杂的烦，写简单的又烦！！）

我的第一篇，希望大家帮我看看大方向有无问题。接下去可以跟着方向写：）

haiyaUID: 187989

我当时也找不到合适的词来代替false analogy。现在想想以偏概全到是很贴切。btw，用英文怎么说？
原来350+就可以了呀，写多了会不会扣分呢？
开头我也觉得好三八啊，就是把题目拆拆再拼一起。。。。

LSDUID: 157855

national data cannot stand for Monroe's condition

haiyaUID: 187989

多谢~~~酝酿第二篇argu去